What ever happened to girl code? Especially between sisters? I wouldn’t go. You have every right to feel how you feel. Forgive them for you so you can heal and then decide either to move on and never speak to them or speak to them and let them know why you’re hurt
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The good Lord above must have someone better for you out there, be a true sister and support her choice, and you’ll maybe meet your true love there, make sure your drop dead beautiful that day too.
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personally I wouldn’t do it but there are a lot of questions like how long ago was it like middle school and now your 30? How long did you guys date? How close are you and your sister etc. I would speak with her about not wanting to go to the wedding doesn’t sound like she will care (based on her with your ex) but I would still talk with her. I say if it bothers you that much then cut ties where you can, so maybe you will see her at your parents house or whatever for the holidays but doesn’t mean you need to invite her to your events and over to your house to hang out.
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Me and my sisters ( now he’s her ex husband ) met first as teenagers . We talked , kissed . Then my sister decided she liked him and told him I had mono ( which I definitely didn’t 
) but they ended up with 4 kids & married . When they split she went to finish her diploma and met who is now my oldest girls dad . He wasn’t her type and we ended up liking each other . So we joke that thanks to each other we have the great kids that we do lol . If you don’t have feelings for him now then whatever . I would want my sister to be happy above all things .
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No! Don’t go and don’t talk to them again. That’s the ultimate betrayal!
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My bestfriend got with my fiance that I’ve been off and on since I was 15, they had a kid and were engaged and now we are engaged and happy and him and I share a child as well and it works out great for us. We both have accepted it and we are still close and raise the kids together
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She shouldn’t of done it in the first place
Show her true feeling for you and I wouldn’t go
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Tough one, but would you regret NOT going in 20 years?
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My ex from years ago made a run thru my family 
I was dating him, found out he was dating my cousin too then married her before I found out about them they had 4 kids together recently got divorced hooked up with my sister and got married to her on July 17th. It didn’t bother me until they got married. Even though I’ve obviously had moved on with my life and am married myself ect ect it’s the FACT that she’s my sister and when he did that shit to me she told me not to say anything to him or our cousin then she turns around and Married the dude. It quiet embarrassing actually
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I have sister issues somewhat as well! As I’ve gotten older I realize some of it was my doing but I had a right to feel the way I felt and that was never acknowledged. I say go to the wedding but you don’t have to stay and you don’t have to be happy! Make an appearance and leave when you feel your mental health can’t do it anymore!
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I don’t think I’d go. That’s just an uncomfortable position to be in… I would be more upset with my sister, not the ex. Sounds like to me you can kinda expect that from him. No matter how you feel or felt about him it’s just out of respect as a sister or really anyone close to not do such a thing. That’s just my opinion. Or I mean you could go hold your head up and act like you don’t give a shit 
If they have kids together sounds like to me no matter how you feel it’s not gonna change it’s done said and done. I hate that… that would really hurt me. Not my ex but knowing my sister would do that to me.
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If she knew you still had feelings for him then I wouldn’t go and just cut her off but if she didn’t know and you didn’t talk to her about it then I would go but she still should’ve asked you if it was okay to date your ex since it was your ex
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That would be really hard. You have every reason not to go.
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That’s so messed up. They both sound like trash
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I’d stop talking to the sister but that’s just me.
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Tbh if she has 2 kids by him its been a minute… So yeah maybe talk to your sister about your feelings???
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How long has he been out of your life it has to be at least two years or more Do you love your neice and nephew? Then I suggest you get over it If you don’t go to the wedding you will regret it in years to come Who knows you may meet the love of your life at the wedding Just support your sister and go with a smile on your face Good luck
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Honestly blood means nothing now days my blood through me out like I was nothing so advice from someone now happily away from toxic blood? Do what’s right for you. At the end of the day your the only one left for yourself.
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I would say it depends as well. If it was someone I was with for a long time (1-5+ years) then yes, I would be absolutely heartbroken. He can date and marry whoever, but my sister? Off limits. But if it was someone I dated for a couple months- it would be weird but I’d support it. But your feelings are your feelings and they should be validated. You don’t have to go to the wedding. Your sister & ex already know this if you decide not to go. And they should accept that. Sorry for your situation. That’s tough.
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So of these comments are hurtful and rude you have every right to feel so tyoe of way especially since there was strong love on your part and i very sry and all these people you to be happy for them and crap is bullcrap some people just dont have heart on here and it shows
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Girl, if your sister & you were close enough for you to HAVE to attend her wedding, then y’all should have damn sure been close enough for her to not even start a relationship with you ex. I say she clearly showed a long time ago that y’all don’t owe each other a damn thing, ESPECIALLY to do things for each other just because “it’s the right thing to do”. So I say fk them & fk that wedding. Get dressed up & go have a great night doing something you like. All these people claiming you owe some allegiance to “family ties/bonds” to a sister/fam who doesnt return that blind allegiance is insane.
I’m so sorry that is so hurtful 
do what’s best for your mental health hun. Go on a little girls trip the weekend of. As for your sister she should have never went their and she should have known better. What is the saddest part is this ruined not only your relationship with your sister but your neices and nephews!? Pray for forgiveness in your heart and don’t focus on it anymore (out of sight out of mind type deal) I hope the best of happiness one day:kissing_heart:
Don’t go. You’re not obligated to do it. Sometimes isolating yourself from family is necessary. It’s healthy. And a bit peaceful.
Give yourself time and revisit the situation when you’re ready
Having a strong love for him and then having your sister take him? That is the highest form of betrayal and shows a lack of respect. I can only imagine your pain!
I wouldn’t go to the wedding, neither would I keep them in my life. As simple as that.
Life is too short move on be happy for them and be excited to have neices and nephews. You will find your soul mate 
enjoy the time you have with your sister we have limited time on This earth 
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I would tell her nicely that your not comfortable going. I know you hurt but what is the rest of the families feeling toward this? Have they all excepted it? What happened with girl code never to date a friend’s/sisters ex’s? Did she ever ask you if it was okay they dated? I know I have alot of questions cause I would never date an ex
Forgive them and let go. He’s your ex now, you don’t have to go to the wedding, you have a reason not to attend. You can give your sister her congrats when you’re free of hurt and pain.
I have to be honest and say regardless I think you should go. She’s your sister and she’s family no matter what. You wouldn’t want to look back on it later down the road and really regret not being there.
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It’s a crappy situation to be in and I can imagine that hurts a lot however she’s your sister and he’s your ex for a reason, if they are happy and you care about them/your sister then be happy for her and I’m sure she would probably love your support. 
Don’t let a men come between you and your sibling. And even more so, they have kids together, you’re their aunt. If not for any other reason, support them for the kids.
My sister married my first boyfriend (I was the matron of honor in their wedding) and now I have the 2 most amazing nieces. It didn’t work with us, but it did with them. Maybe I’m not the best help here. 
Just love them and wish them well!
Remember why u guys broke up. He is an ex for a reason. And after at least 2 years you are still holding on to that, you are holding yourself back from happiness.
I say do whatever you need to but it seems a little late to be making a stand 
have you refused to be around them this whole time? Did you let them know in the beginning you weren’t ok with things? Just seems a little late if they have managed to have kids and plan a wedding 
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If you really don’t want to go, don’t. But that’s your sister, your blood. You may not agree with her decisions but you should certainly support her and her choices… I’ve gone to weddings, even tho I very much so disagreed with them. Shoot, I’ve been IN 2 weddings that I don’t think should have ever happened… one was my ex boyfriend marrying my friend. I voiced my opinion, but supported their choice.
I’m not so sure I would go but at least you found out how he felt and you had rather know now than to have gotten into a more permanent relationship and then find out which one he really loves! Just my opinion. Is she having a big wedding? If not, I really don’t see why she would expect you to be there. The choice is yours. Just remember married couples get into arguments sometimes, don’t be the one there to comfort HIM If he should come running back to you and says you are the one he should have married!! It will just be a lie and he will wind up going back to her. BE CAREFUL AND LISTEN TO YOUR BRAIN AND NOT YOUR HEART:bangbang:
HE MADE HIS CHOICE AND YOU SHOULD ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT:bangbang:
I would definitely not be attending the wedding. If it were me, I’d distance myself from both of them and honestly have no relationship what so ever with my so called “sister”. That is just a no no in my book. If she’d do that to you then there is no need for y’all to be in each other’s lives. However I would suggest doing whatever it takes for YOU to find peace and healing from it for yourself. Close that chapter in a healthy way and just cut them out. No need to “repair or fix” the relationship with you sister. No real sister who truly loved and cared for you would do that. Let them both go and be done with them girl. Consider it as God took the trash out for you in this situation🤷🏻♀️
Forgive she is your sister if you love her then let it go and move on to better things. Dont ever let a man come between y’all. But if it hurts then dont go to the wedding but you will find someone alot better. Stay focused on the positives
Girl shut up, it is your ex! Two kids, that’s 9 months each… don’t go to the wedding if you gone be tainting their shit with your negative energy.: they in love. #dontdeleteme😭
I see a bunch of people commenting about it being your ex and not to care because he’s an ex. But I think the bigger hurt isn’t even the ex. To me, it sounds like your more hurt with the fact that your “sister” could even do something like that to you and that should be understandable to everyone. Because honestly if it was some random other person, I don’t think you would’ve cared as much.
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If there is a free bar go drown your sorrows for free, cause a massive scene then go home feeling accomplished and never speak to them again if you don’t want to
How was your relationship with your sister before she got with him? How long had you and him been broken up for before they got together? 2 kids makes it sound like they have been together awhile already
This is a boundaries issue.
She has no respect.
I wouldn’t go.
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I would not go!!! I also would not have a sister anymore fuck all that nonsense there’s too many people in the world for her to have wound up with your leftovers 
do something nice for yourself and have a you day instead!
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We need more specific details…… have you ever addressed your true feelings with her before now? Was this high school? Did he feel the same way or saw the relationship as yourself? Where you the live of his life? Stepsister? What’s the dynamics of y’all’s relationship up until now? Where y’all dating a few weeks? It’s just a lot to unfold here. Yes it’s jacked up that a sister would have kids with the love of your life and get married.
Those kids are your family it sounds like you either have to get over it or give up your sister and neices/nephews because your hurt. I would just suggest to let it go why do you still have such strong feelings he obviously has moved on and they are serious… I mean they already have kids so obviously they have been a thing for quite awhile 
and you still upset and its hurts you they are getting married?? Move on please so you can have a healthy relationship with your family
They have kids together, sounds like they’re a family and are happy. It obviously didn’t work out with you and him for a reason - assuming these are healthy relationships and you love them and want the best for them, I’d do whatever I needed to do to be happy for my sister and support her on her wedding day. It’s okay to be sad and hurt, of course, but it sounds like it’s been a long time, might be time to do what you need to do to move on.
I married my 1st cousins ex husband they have 3 kids together an I and him have 1 together… there’s no hurt feelings between either of us she actually pushed for us to be together
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I will never understand how women can date or even be sexually interested in someone who dated their sister. ITS A WEIRD SITUATION ALL AROUND. I don’t associate myself with people like this. The whole “they can be happy with whoever just because y’all didn’t work out” line is bs. It’s sick and crossing so many boundaries
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Some lines just shouldn’t be crossed. Personally I wouldn’t look at her again. I definitely wouldn’t be going to the wedding. The one person that you think that you could trust out of all other women is your sister. I feel sad for you. 
My husband and ex husband are best friends, I actually never met my current husband though until after my first husband and I divorced. And it took.a while, but here we are 15 years later, all best friends and on vacation together with our kids. I think what made a real.difference was we each found happiness and moved on and while I will always care about my first husband and consider him family, our 6 month marriage was nothing compared to my last 15 years. Give it some time, and work on being happy for yourself in your own endeavors.
I’m still torn over the fact that my sister is with my ex. He was the love of my life, the person I lost my virginity to. 🤦 It’s almost 15yrs later and we all lead separate lives. Facts and opinions are different, but how could they? I feel like I’m just being petty, but whatever. Don’t invite me to family functions where we’re all included with my fiance. I’m sick.
Same thing happened to me, but I love my niece and my sister asked me to be in the wedding party and I agreed. I don’t love him though so it makes it much easier. Keep your head up! There’s someone better out there for you.
I think you need to draw your own boundaries and if people can’t respect that then they don’t deserve to be a part of your life right now. Maybe in the future fences can be mended, but right now you have to take care of you. They clearly took care of themselves. Self-care is not selfishness.
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I don’t think it matters how long u we’re with him.a ex is a ex.I personally wouldn’t be able to forgive that,nor would I do that to my sister,it’s intruding major boundaries that should never be crossed between sisters
My ex slept with my best friend and that was bad enough.I really feel for you xx
Who wants to fuck Someone their sister has fucked 
Ooweee that was a bitch move on her part
Oh my god I’d be so pissed off, but still go and bring the finest man ever as my date and i would pay to have my hair make up and nails done!!!
My sister married my ex fiancé. Then he stood in my parents driveway and told me if I was ever single again to get a hold of him.
They are no longer together and have not been for quite sometime. When I found out they got married I told my sister how stupid she was. The reason we didn’t get married is because he cheated on me and the woman got pregnant. I ran into him one day at the beach a couple of years ago. I was with the man I was seeing and his daughters. As for
My sister and I we barely talk even more so now that our mother has passed. I don’t go to family functions. Family is not always blood.
it sounds like this has been going on for awhile if they already have two kids, but that’s my assumption. but you should not go if you don’t want to. do what is best for you. and i think you should get professional help as well to determine if this is something you can ever get past. good luck x
I understand family comes first but sis should’ve thought of that first. About the wedding part… I would say go just for the sake of the rest of the family (parents, aunts, uncles and her kids) though we don’t live to please the family and we must choose ourselves first before them…it’s the principle in it I look at… like the old saying…“the first laugh don’t count, it’s the second laugh that counts” and that goes for anything… No one would remember what sis did, they’ll all remember what you did since you did it last. Most would say how selfish you are and out you as a family or friend. So my advise would be to go to the wedding for a few mins and pretend to have a good time, pray that all goes well and jus go home and have a glass of wine or glasses of wine if you want. Be the bigger person, I bet Mr. Ex would hurt even more and sis would be shock to death to see you outgrow that mess she started.
Same story plus she asked me to be her maid of honor… when she had her first child My thought was that she was supposed to be mine and it was hard for me to even looked at her. I ended up choosing my sister. Even as hard as it was to overcome I did. Soon that child will be 15 and I have been present for all of them. If you can’t go don’t go. Heal first just like I did. Then you will live in peace otherwise you will be the only one to suffer and even become bitter. Good luck
But I went to their wedding. Was supportive obviously 
still embarrassed by it all because it’s not like SHE didn’t know we were seeing each other cuz she was there smh
Yes I would go to the wedding as he was no longer your if the love would have been that strong you would still have him this is your sister that’s family don’t let some thing rock family you have to get over it
If you are feeling this hurt just don’t go. Your sister knew there was a chance she would lose you if she f*clef him and she made her choice.
I know is common sense that a sister should not date her sister’s ex, but when they started dating did you told her not to do it because it broke your heart? If you did and she still dated him I would not go to their weeding.
The fact that HE would start dating your sis means he’s trash. I’m sorry there’s so many ppl in this world , why her? You both were intimate with him and that’s weird. My sister slept with my bfs I left them. Yuck.
I don’t think she was saying that it’s OK that she thinks it’s OK she’s not really putting judgment on it she was just asking some details and shitty things happen in this world is that’s just how it is and I’m not saying it’s right either or it’s wrong I’m just saying shitty things happen
I’d like to know how long your sister waited. I mean if it had been years later and they found each other I wouldn’t be upset. If it was like right after you guys broke up then I’d be pissed. Otherwise be happy she’s happy? He wasn’t for you so grow up lol
Sorry but they have 2 children together?? So obviously they have been together for at least 4 years give or take…And your upset now??? Weird
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You might need to seek counseling if them being married and having children together hasnt completely put you off. Hes moved on long ago and you cant be upset with either one of them for finding someone they wanted to spend thier lives with. Why cant they be together or you be more happy for your sister then being upset it wasnt you? Or maybe you feel betrayed because yall didnt have a good history and your sister chose to be with him anyway??. Unclear but you shouldnt hold a grudge or hold yourself back from living your own life and maybe youll find someone worth wild and look back on this and think “i cant believe i was ever upset” because you yourself found treasure. You should be happy for them especially if you have nieces and or nephews… it shouldnt be about you. Or in any sort of way be upset they exsit… everuthing happens the way its suppose to.
You know inside it would be uncomfortable for you
What you’ve shared gives off that it’ll be too hurtful
Your feelings are valid & important
Crop yourself into pictures later
Give them a gift, write a kind note and share that you have something that came up that day. You know its BS, they’ll know its BS but it’ll save alot of uncomfortable situations
Then go have a “you day”
Gets your nails did, go have lunch with a friend/friends, go on a date ect. Take your mind off
Sorry you have to deal with that 
big virtual hugs
Don’t attend if you do not feel comfortable being there, period. You’re not obligated to go and support just because that’s your sister.
Your feelings are validated 10000%. At this point, however it’s not about his happiness, it’s about your sisters. Girl let the past stay in the past and move forward while supporting your sister. You two deserve a relationship and no man in the past should come between that. I wish you luck! Btw your sister is a Dick for doing that to you to begin with. So disregard what I just said if she isn’t worth having a relationship with lol. We all don’t know her, but you do 
Nope. Also wouldn’t have anything to do with either of them I’d wipe my hands of her & continue to live my best life 
I married my sister’s ex gf. And we decided to have a court house wedding so we didn’t have to invite anyone. My best friend was there and that was it. We got married on our 5 year dating anniversary and I filed for divorce little over two months before our 2 year wedding anniversary.
Had you two split?
Be happy for her,because if he cheated on you with her,it’s her problem now. Be the better person,go to wedding, enjoy yourself, show them it’d doesn’t effect you
next minute she went out with him for 2 weeks in high school🤦♀️
Please don’t go! Don’t make a big deal with your sister… She will feel your absence!
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Are you and your sister close? Have yall discussed the situation when she started dating him and was anything attempted to be resolved?
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This is exactly why I don’t believe in family titles. If I were you, I wouldn’t go to the wedding. But don’t worry honey, KARMA IS A BITCH. I can ASSURE you that they won’t last. Cut her out of your life.
You do you lady! Period!!! If it doesn’t make you happy, don’t partake. Sounds like you’re better off considering your own self in this messed up equation since neither of them did
Go to the wedding?!?! H*ll No! I would not ever be speaking to that “sister” again. It is okay to separate yourself from toxic people even if they are your biological family members.
I’m sorry, I wouldn’t go. I think it’s weird for the sister to date her ex in the first place. There’s a girl code. You don’t date your sisters’ or friends ex. My sister broke up with a guy once and he wanted to date me. I went on 1 date with him. The entire dinner I was thinking that he had sex with my sister. I couldn’t do it. Nope. No way. Never. He was a very nice guy but nope. That’s just something I don’t think anyone should do.
Sounds toxic to me. Don’t go even if everyone thinks you’re the bad guy, I think your feelings are valid.
Honestly I wouldn’t go bc I just dislike weddings in general. Id send a card with well wishes and offer to bbsit the kiddos sometime. Book a vaycay for the date of said wedding n go have fun by yourself. They have 2 children together already so I’m kinda lost as to why ur upset all of a sudden? I mean I would’ve cut said sister off as soon as she started dating said ex, well maybe it would depend on circumstances honestly as to why ex n I broke it off. If it was amicable then I’d give my blessings but if there was shady 
nope 
to both sister & ex. But ur circumstances r a bit different since again they already have 2 kiddos together so you had time n knew they were together.
Everything is circumstantial, surem…but I’d be pissssssssseed regardless! On principle. Some shit u just dont do.
I think of now that time has passed and you’re genuinely happy for them, then go. If you’re not then don’t. And don’t feel guilty about either choice.
So gross seeing all the females disregard her feelings on here and act like it’s no biggy. BIG yikes.
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I think this is shitty!!! I also wonder how long after y’all split up did they get together publicly. I would constantly wonder if they had been messing around she he and I were together…or did something to cause the breakup to get her grimey hands on him…and both of those are a totally different level of betrayal all together…
How much time had passed? … me my hubbs and his ex were all friends in school . They got married and had kids… 6 years after they split he and I started talking… We now r married and have a kid together… We’re all fine… but if it was super soon or she’s the reason you all split…then noooo
If you’re upset, don’t go. Your feelings are valid.
Personally, I don’t hang on to any attachments to an ex after the relationship ends. I don’t care whatsoever who dates, sleeps with, or marries any ex of mine. The relationship ended for a reason, and I no longer care what they do or who they do it with. Even if it’s a best friend or family. I don’t own the person, and my attachment ends with the relationship. So I can’t pretend to understand your side. But, I do understand that not everyone moves on that easily, so if it really means that much to you, give your congratulations from a distance, don’t attend the wedding. And just take time to heal.
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Get over yourself. They have kids, they’re getting married. It’s not about you. Suck it up and be happy for them. That’s what wrong with America. Pity party central!
Not sure how to answer because there is alot of missing information. Like are you and your sister close? That would tell me if she really knew about ur ex. How long did you and ur ex date and how long ago did yall break up? Why did yall break up?
The one thing i can say is if the sister didnt ask if u were ok with it if she knew about him then that breaks girl code. But maybe she didnt know. Not sure how close yall are and how often yall talk. so its not easy to give proper advice when the whole story is not there just a piece or 2
I’d have cut them both off before even getting an invitation to the wedding that’s crossing the line the only time sleeping with someone’s ex is ok is if they are your enemy or they did it to you first I think its nuts some people think this ok I’d never do that to my sister or my friends that’s trash and messed up
Don’t go … simple as that … don’t go , especially you still got feelings you don’t want to be remembered as the ex crying at the wedding or the focus being how you all will react everyone knowing the history of you and the groom . Please for your sake don’t go.
I don’t know if this is related but I swear a girl posted on a moms group asking for advice because she was marrying her sisters ex and mentioned having two kids lol I wish I could have remembered her name to see if that’s her.
I would because half my family is dead so id spend time with any family I had that I could. You cant help who you love and family is everything and I dont hold grudges with nobody over nothing and never would. If my sister did that id be happy for her and love my neices or nephews. People can’t help who they love and id want her to be happy because if their together than its obvious you and the guy isn’t meant to be but they are. Nobody can help who they love and id be happy and spend time with them rather than hold grudges over anything. Life is to short for that.
ehh. she’s your sister and if you’re close and care about her, let it go. it obviously didn’t work out with you and your ex or you would still be together. of course you could always cut her off if you feel it’s necessary but do you want to miss out on your nephew/nieces lives over something like that?
Why didn’t you sort this issue out when they first got together? You now have a issue when they have had kids and now moving on to getting married… you both obviously had a long time in between to sort it out now… I’d say, get over it! If you didn’t bring it up beforehand don’t bring it up now, unless you still feel something towards him that’ll be the only reason you have a problem now
I would.make sure he gets what he deserves.probally date both of you.
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I would not go. U don’t have to go. U have a right to feel whatever u do and don’t need to forgive her right now.
Well Obviously there was a reason y’all broke up. Idk why people are so hurt about ex’s and friends/family dating ex’s half the time. Ex’s for a reason. they can have them. Unless you have kids with them and gotta talk go them regularly I don’t see an issue. Even then eh. Weird when you got kids with them too. But
If it’s that big of a deal to you. Don’t go. Cause if you do your probably just gonna cause a scene.
Idk my sister would never do that to me it’s all about the family code! You don’t date sisters or cousins ex’s period!