Switch with him for a day.
Stop doing everything for him. That’s what I would do. Unappreciative people don’t get stuff done for them
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Do a time lapse video of all you do in one day. Or if you want to be really petty, don’t do ANYTHING for ONE day.
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I kept a daily log, and I did the bookkeeping for 7 businesses and raised my 3 and his 2. Just a jerk. Write down how much you would make on the job, minus daycare, and the house will be messy and he can cook his own meals
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My advice: take classes online & prepare to become independent. Once you have reached your career goals & are able to get yourself a job, say goodbye to that useless pos 
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If you do his laundry, Stop. Don’t cook him dinner anymore, don’t do his dishes anymore. take care of the kids and thats it. See how quickly life at home falls apart. He will see soon enough. Or go get a job and make his ass pay the outrageous daycare expenses. Men make me sick. This is why I’m divorced. So my advice may be no good. Lol
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Leave the cunt with the kids during his work days for a few days and do you and let him feel the insight of your every day life and allow him to express to you what it felt like experiencing your daily shoes when you get back… been there done that and walah eyes wide open my love never uses those words ever again and still going hard supporting my daily role. 
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I am an older mom. Lol I worked full time the whole time our children were growing up. My husband and I worked well together splitting the house/children duties.
Now my children are grown. I have an amazing grandson. When he was about 3 1/2 my daughter was going to have to put him in daycare (life changes). My husband and I didn’t want him to go to a daycare. We decided I would retire (age 52). Now this was not an easy choice for me because I have always had my “own” money and well my husband is a tight wad. Lol ( but because he is tight, we can afford for me to retire.) Now, when my husband complains about me spending money. I let him know, I will gladly go back to work. He doesn’t want my grandson to not have me for after school pickup or me not to spoil him with doing 90% of the house work. So he shuts up.
The point, maybe your husband doesn’t see the value to having you take care of his children and home. If he doesn’t value or want you staying at home. It will lead to resentment. When everything is happy/fine. You need to have the discussion with him. Do you want me to work? If no. Ask him to never bring it up again. If he would be more comfortable with you working. Get a job, but getting the children to school/activities need to be split. Along with cleaning/shopping.
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Give him an invoice of what it would cost him to replace all the things you do
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You say SO. Are you married? You deserve to be appreciated loved and protected if he is your husband. If he is a live in. That is not blessed even if you have kids.
Ephesians 5:22-32
Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands(A) as you do to the Lord.(B) 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church,(C) his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands(D) in everything.
25 Husbands, love your wives,(E) just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her(F) 26 to make her holy,(G) cleansing[a] her by the washing(H) with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself(I) as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.(J) 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives(K) as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body.(L) 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”b 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church.
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Don’t do it for two days. Do the bare minimum. He will see.
I did it. It sucked playing catch up, but he realized what I do is valuable and helped out.
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Poo that’s so F#&king rude, woman are not machines
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Go away for a few days so he can see how much work it is.
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Okay a lot of comments are saying to stop cleaning, making food, and let him take care of the kids when he gets off but lemme say one thing… It doesn’t change a thing. I tried that more than I can remember. All the housework I didn’t do stacked up and it made it 10x harder to clean. I would have a serious sit down talk about how those particular things hurt you when he uses them as a fighting tactic. I would explain how much money it would cost to have a babysitter or have them go to a daycare and if those make you uncomfortable as a mom (I don’t feel comfortable with sitters or daycare) then also include that in your conversation. If I’m the end he gets upset and yells or doesn’t care to understand where you are coming from then pack up the kiddos and get away for a week or two.
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There’s no changing someone like that mind.
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No more cooking, laundry, cleaning, dishes anything make sure you and your kids have you guys need and your good.
I think it’s important to know if this arrangement was agreed on beforehand… for one person to stay home and not be bringing in a pay check both people need to be onboard with that. While I think he needs to respect and appreciate what you do while staying home, that doesn’t mean he has to agree with being the only one bringing in a paycheck. Maybe it’s time to sit down while not fighting and talk about it.
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Same old pathetic patriarchal abuse thrown at women.
Research stats and throw them in his face, he’ll soon have undeniable facts that SAHMs do 2-3 times more work than a 9-5 job.
What a douche!
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STOP DOING EVERYTHING FOR HIM. Find a part time job, give him half of the responsibilities, and then let him cook, bathe, and put them kids to bed. See if he complains then…
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Don’t so it then after a few days he’ll see what you do that will teach him. Then when he complains be like i thought I did nothing!!!
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Write down your earnings from everything you do give him a bill
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I agree, stop doing it for a week and see how he feels…
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Take a few days for yourself. Go to a family members for 4 days and let him fend for himself. Leave him the laundry and grocery shopping etc. The kids too. Make him figure out the sitter etc. While you’re away sit down and write down everything you take care of on a daily basis… When you get home and he starts to complain about everything he had to do go over the list of things you do and ask why he didn’t get them done to.
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tell him to hire a cleaning service, a meal service and a babysitting service and you will go out to work… that would be a good trial for both of you. You’d find out how much easier it is to work outside the home than it is to take care of children and the residence.
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If he doesnt realize this on his own u will never make him see it. Forget it r leave him.
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Easy stop doing it…
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Unfortunately some people take things for granted & don’t recognize or appreciate what’s in front of them. Only they can change that it’s just a matter of how. He could possibly feel stressed with him being the only source of income & maybe the pressure of knowing that, is part of the reason he overlooks the things you do for him, the household, & children. Best thing I can advise is maybe take some time to think of the things hes going through or struggling with, then come up with best approaches & things you want to talk about with a sit down between you both. Also, be a good example for him as in maybe put in a little more effort with showing appreciation for him working hard & bringing in the income. The more you show him appreciation for the little things not just the big, it will make him feel like it’s worth it all he is doing and even the stress that comes with it. On top of that he could help him recognize the things that you do 2. Good luck.
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Stop doing it and see how long it takes him to realize what all u do!
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Get a job. earn your own money. Split the chores with him and split the cost of a sitter. Show him what it is like if you were not a stay at home mom.
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This is a conversation that needs to be had before kids come into the picture. Was he like this when you were both working? Did he pitch in and do his part?
Sit down and hash it out with him. Tell him how you feel. Tell him you need help from time to time. And tell him you made the decision together of who would stay home.
My hubby and I had this conversation before we even had kids. I would be the stay at home parent. I made sacrifices and so did he. No one us is more important than the other. We understand one another. We are a team.
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Honestly maybe show him what “he” would be paying for daycare for two kids if you were working, not to mention maid service and gas in two cars, insurance etc and maybe when you put it in monetary terms (something every man understands), he’ll come to his senses.
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He sounds like an ungrateful prick
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You can’t. His mind is wired to believe this is not important…
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Stop doing them for a week
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Stop doing what you do.
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My husband did that too until he had to stay home with the kiddo while I worked on his days off. This was before our 2nd child so he only had to handle 1 and he couldnt do half of the things I did when he was at work. He saw himself that its hard and he changed. Anytime he slips up now and says anything like that, which is rare but he gets his moments once in a blue moon, I just dont do anything. You said I do nothing right? So here is what happens when that becomes reality and he realizes how stupid he sounded and apologizes
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Stop what you do dump it all on his ass for a while. Hell realize real frickin quick.
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Stop cleaning, stop cooking. Let him do it himself. He wil realize quickly. Im a stay at home mom and whatever I dont get done my husband will come home and help me sometimes pick up. Its a teamwork. He’d have to pay bills even if yall werent together. Thats just apart of being an adult. Theres no way around that so he cant blame that on you. You stay home and take care of yalls children. Its just as important. Youre actually saving money. Maybe switch the roles if you can. You find a job and him be the stay at home parent.
Leave for a weekend and have some you time…a. Stay at home mom is work .and when you get back from your vacation have a heart to heart talk .
I have to ask…what are the arguments about? Finances?? Money? Budgets?
If it’s none of those…then he’s just being hurtful and you need to have a serious talk with him.
If the arguments ARE about money…well…he’s not completely wrong. And maybe he wants you to work and contribute to the financial responsibilities of having a family but doesn’t know how to tell you?!
Yes what you do is important! Very important! But it doesn’t get the bills paid.
However…let me say…I was a SAHM for awhile myself. My first husband and I never argued about me not working but he made me feel unappreciated in other ways. (I would ask him to put away HIS laundry that I washed, dried, and folded…it would sit there for 3 days in the basket before I finally got angry and started bitching about it) I left him after 14 years of marriage (for more reasons than him not putting away his laundry 
) for about 6 months and left our 3 boys with him due to other circumstances and the fact we got along extremely well when it came to the kids. We were leaning toward divorce but he quickly realized how much I actually did. We made amends and stayed married. And…I started working again! Perfect marriage from there forward. Another 4 years until he was killed in a motorcycle accident.
Sometimes you have to show them what they’d be missing if you aren’t there.
There’s also the option of marital counseling! Which my first husband and I also did. It helps as long as both you and your SO are up for it and completely honest during counseling.
I stopped working to take care of our son that couldn’t speak until he was FOUR! I could barely understand him and his Dad and strangers couldn’t understand him AT ALL. I took him and my daughter to all their appointments, my daughter’s school stuff, cleaned cooked literally EVERYTHING he went to work and that was it! My son is now 8 I went to work part time and still did EVERYTHING and we have FOUR children now two of which have weekly speech appointments. I just started working full time and I still do appointments on my own, feed, bathe the kids, clean, do laundry make the kids lunch before I leave for work EVERYTHING except when he is home he takes them to school. And he still complains! Before it was i sit around ALL day doing nothing even though house was clean food was prepared etc! Now it’s I don’t have enough time to keep the house clean because I go to work! which I do clean it when I get home or after I make dinner, bathe the kids, get their stuff ready for the next day Etc!!!
My point is I don’t make the same amount as him and he is having to help with the kids so he doesn’t like it! He will always find something to complain about!!! Good luck!!!
Consider reminding him the cost of a cook,housecleaning, daycare, personal shopper & don’t forget paying for a bed partner, laundry… maybe then he will think about how much money he is saving on what you do!!
Just stop doing stuff… let him realize how much you actually do.
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Stop doing all the things you do for him. Then when he whines, you can tell him that this is you not doing anything. Let him do his own laundry make his own food, everything.
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Stop doing it for a week. He will notice when it’s not getting done. If that doesn’t do the trick, get a full time job. Let him see how expensive it is for daycare for 2 kids.
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I thought you said that you don’t work? Did I read wrong somewhere?
Leave for a weekend, or longer!
Sounds like an ungrateful Goomba. If he doesn’t realize you work the equivalent of 2.5 jobs with one child and home alone he never will. Kindly remind him the cost of childcare and how amazing of a time it is to find a job right now.
Ugh I’d stop doing the cooking and cleaning and only take care of the kids and let him see everything you do. Or alternatively look up how much a cleaner cook and daycare all are (as well as everything else you do and want to add) and start billing him. I tried the sahm thing and I suck at it haha. It’s not something everyone can do well and it’s not easy. We had to switch roles when covid hit and it really made us appreciate each other.
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“No one knows what I do, until I stop doing it”
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Simple don’t do it for a week.
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Get a job and make him do it.
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If he can’t love and respect you enough to see that you’re basically working a full time job with no paycheck then he doesn’t deserve you! And you certainly don’t deserve being treated like that! Think about your kids. Do you want them to learn that this toxic environment is acceptable? Of course not.
Don’t waste your time playing games to try and change him! Cut him loose and teach your kids about self respect and strength!
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How old are the kids???
Im a SAHM to… I wish i would of listened to my momma when she said dont let a man have the ability to look u dead in the face and say u wouldnt have this if it wasnt for me… I married him at 18… Have 5 babies… And no career… And get treated like shit and treated lie a damn criminal…
I was attacked by my neighbors dog and have a horrible sprained ankle its been 8 days and laundry was never touched… My kids ran the house being so damn messy i have OCD… So now i have to waddle my ass down into my basement… Only help i had was from my kids. My husband treated me like i was a burden and still does…
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Start charging him for the work you do around the house, for child care and for cooking.
Do exactly that…nothing. Let that house get filthy and don’t cook his meals…don’t do his laundry nothing. Do absolutely nothing and tell him you were just doing “nothing” like he says if he asks why the house is mess and he ain’t got no home cooked meals ready for him 
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You should not be a SAHM to a boyfriend. You have zero protection if he ups and leaves.
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Switch let his ass do all you do. For a month bet he be singing a different tone
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Don’t do anything for him anymore. No cooking, no cleaning, no laundry, no setting up appointments, nothing. Just worry about you and the babies. You don’t do anything, remember?
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He doesnt see your worth.
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Hand him a bill every week for everything you do.
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You don’t fix abuse, you eliminate it
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Stop doing it.
He will soon realize that the kids don’t raise themselves, that there is no maid and no chef.
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Walk out for a week…once you’re gone he’ll realise you done everything because he sure as hell isn’t is he…
I would be getting a part-time job and making him take care of everything at the house when I’m at work
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Someone needs to watch that episode of spongbob and patrick being parents to jr the clam
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Depends on how old the kids are. I personally feel like women should only be a sahm for so long as well. When kids are older than 5 consider getting a part time job and make some money yourself. Don’t depend on a man, even if he’s the father of your kids. Women who work still have to cook, clean and take care of everything that involves the kids just like sahm.
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And if have to agree he needs to lose u to know what he has … before its.completely gone if not then u already know in ur gut what to do…always go with ur gut and ur mind…they need to be the main masterminds behind this work bc ur heart isn’t what’s needed right now
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Stop doing things for him. He will soon realise… If not I’d b showing him the door… Complete dickhead
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Get a job? And stop catering hand and foot. He could literally care less
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Just throw the whole man out!
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Don’t clean the house and don’t make food and when he gets home from work and expects things to be done then you tell him to make a sandwich because you taking the day off
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Send him a bill for everything you do and remind him he couldn’t afford all you do for FREE! AND ASK if he would rather pay someone to do everything so you’d be the joy of working too
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Sounds like you do to much for him.
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Well you say SO. Not marriered. Well your just playing house or raised to be home and clean and cook while the man works. It’s not like that no more. Once kids are older. I would work at least partime. Don’t know if these are his kids. If not. I hope you are getting child support.
Sounds like you already work yourself into the ground to get his approval! Raising a family is a 2 person job, it’s taken me a longtime to appreciate that I used to be like.you and do absolutely everything ans raise the kids and work evenings. It’s nothing to do with what you are doing, it’s him. I had 2 children with my ex partner and used to work evenings and take care of the house ans the cooking. He repeatedly belittled everything I did, I got up with the kids because he worked, I cleaned because he worked, I had them at the weekend and he went out with his friends because he worked, ans he used to tell.me I had been out that week and it was his turn to go out. ( he was referring to my shifts at work ) I am now with someone else ans we have a baby together as well as my older 2 and I stay home, he helps around the house, he cooks occasionally, we do things together as a team and he never, ever belittles anything I do. He appreciates what I do, he understands with 3 kids ( 2 with additional needs ) I don’t get a lunch break, clocking off time, sick pay, and he helps me where he can. I also help.him.where I can. I didnt realise that relationships weren’t supposed to be like that, 1 person taking on everything and being unappreciated. My ex is still like that, he only has our kids for a fee hours on a sunday when it suits him and he told the mediator that that’s the way it is " because that works, the responsibility being with me " she told him he isn’t playing an active father role in their lives as he doesnt even bath them.hasnt had them.overnight in 3 ans a half years, he wasn’t bothered. He says they live with me so they arr my responsibility. That’s not partners. I woukd get out of I was you.
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Trade places with him while your in lockdown or for a weekend. Write out a list of your day to day activities and times you do them or spend on them. Then sit back have a drink and relax or whatever he does when he’s home. And add you own critique. At the end ask him how he feels so it’s not just a witch hunt. Open the lines of communication on the topic, time and talk shared is where you will make the most ground.
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Don’t do anything when he’s at work apart look after the kids …no meals for him no washing etc he will soon realise wot u do
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Write a list of your services,tools,products,gratuity fees,labor costs,estimated time stamps of time of services for the duration of the relationship in which payment should be processed for.You have a job you just offer those services for a SEVERELY discounted rate . Remind him exactly how everything he has right now being the way it is is him receiving a service.One that normally he’d have to pay for like any normal person that wants a stay in cool,childcare,live-in maid ,etc plus he has to pay room and board and utilities and rent.if he keep that ungrateful attitude he’s got and doesn’t get it say “I think it’s time we end our professional relationship,things just arent working out in this work environment.” And leave,put in applications doing those jobs or whatever your suited for.Get that job and give him that slap in the face realization.
If he don’t get it then,you have a job, chuck them dueces up and dip.
sounds like my day/life.
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Trade places for a day. One day when he’s off work go run errands for the day and he gets to clean/cook/tend to the kids completely alone. The catch is that he needs to get the house to the same level of clean as you keep it. He needs to clean to YOUR standards.
All of the duties a stay at home mom performs is equivalent to about $90k + (depending on the area you live in) per year. Sit down and do the math with him - cleaning, laundry, childcare, cooking, meal planning, running errands, managing bills (if you do that), etc - calculate it as individual salaries and then see what he has to say.
He’s bitter that you get to stay at home - but I GUARANTEE your job is mentally and sometimes physically harder. He’s unappreciative and is being disrespectful. He needs to be enlightened.
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Had this row with my partner a few years ago so I went on strike for a week cooked for me and the kids and made sure we were clean and dressed and left everything else. He learnt to be appreciative real fucking quick 
we then sat down and had a real long chat I got a part time job (mostly for my own sanity) and he started helping round the house more. Sounds like he likes having something to hold over you and he needs to learn that isn’t how relationships work. We now have a joint account and both put 80% of our wages into it (his is obviously a lot more than mine) which covers bills, rent and shopping and we then have our own money to do what we please with. I still do most of the home stuff as I am at home more but he now doesn’t complain if it isn’t perfect or dinner isn’t ready he just accepts I have done my best for the day and will try again tomorrow xx
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You 
leave, that’s how. Men like this do not change. You either accept being abused and miserable, or you don’t, it’s your choice.
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Sounds like you need a new man that loves you… you dnt want to raise your kids thinking that’s normal… stay throng❤️
Stop doing everything and let him figure it out…no dinner ready? Dang that sucks. His laundry isnt cleaned, folded and put away? Whoops. His lunch wasnt made? Oh well maybe next time.
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Tell him you’re going to find a job, he can stay home & look after the kids, and cook & clean. Seriously I’d rather work. Full time working mama here, SAHM is harder lol.
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Don’t do anything for a week then he mite think differently
Just do nothing 1 day. The he’ll learn.
You don’t men are pathetic same issue right here!! Got a job n it still got thrown in my face
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Stop doing it all. My husband soon realised 
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Exactly stop doing for him what he doesn’t do for you.
Stop doing everything. Let him see that when you do nothing, the house turns into a tip and then he will need to pull his weight.
Get yourself a part time job, tell him he needs to figure out childcare for the kiddos and also make up the work around the house that’s not getting done because you are now working. My husband tried to say the same shit to me and I work part time! We had a coming to jesus talk lol
He doesn’t say those things to me anymore!
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Tell him, ok, I’ll go back to work, then give him the bill for daycare, maid service, and doordash.
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Go on a girls weekend and leave him with the kids
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Stop doing his washing, stop doing his dishes, stop tidying up for 2 weeks. Do yours and your kids clothes, and make yours and their meals. He’ll sharp get sick. Men these days want their partners to be their mother. Riles me so much!
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He doesn’t appreciate you…at all. Sounds like you and him need to sit down and really have a talk. Write down everything you do(times included) every day for a week and show him. Then show him how much it would be for daycare …it’s not cheap. Tell him either he starts respecting you and the sacrifices you are making or things will change.
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He would then bitch you don’t earn as much as him
Go on strike see how he copes then 
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