Stop doing his shit.
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Absolutely agree with the ladies, if he thinks ya do nothing, then do nothing!! They soon realise that the dirty clothes don’t make it into the basket and then the washing machine by themselves, that dinner doesn’t walk out the fridge and cook its self and that kids make a hell of a mess, in fact I’d go to my Mum’s for the weekend and leave him to it, bet he has a changed attitude after that, when my ex’s dad passed and he stayed home while I worked he said going to work was easier than staying home with the kids
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It’s not 1957. Get a job.
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Raising children is a full time job. Add on house chores, and you’re priceless. Does he ever get your children alone without your for lengths of time? He doesn’t understand how much you’re actually doing for the FAMILY, not just yourself or the kids. He needs an eye opener because without you, he wouldn’t be able to make money to provide for the family. 
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Stop doing everything,literally do nothing,go on strike
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Hate to break it. But if he doesn’t already appreciate he never will. Speaking from experience. Hugs❤️
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I’d stop doing all the cleaning and cooking. When he asks why things aren’t done, I’d say “You tell me I don’t work, so I stopped doing my work.”
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I’d get a job and make him to half the housework. Then when he realises its hard work ask him if he wants to carry on or go back to how it was.
Make sure you divide the jobs equally and don’t be tempted to do his half
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One thing I’ve realized when men do this is that they are PROJECTING. If they feel like their income is inadequate or they are in a tough spot financially they tend to bring things like this up. This may not be the case for you, and also is noexcuse. He is a grown man and there’s no way you should have to stop doing everything for him to realize what you do (may turn against you in the end too)
Definitely look up prices for daycare near you. Find some job listings that might work for you. When he’s in a better space discuss with him how things will be changing, what you will feasibly be able to do. Your odds are good that he’ll back track.
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Leave everything. Don’t clean up his stuff, don’t cook him a hot meal. Clean after you and the kids. I’ve actually at one stage refused to clean all together to get the point across. Lucky for me my partner realises how hard it is to be a stay at home parent. Our job is a lot harder than theirs are tbh
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Don’t do it (aside from taking care of the kids needs). Leave everything else for a few days. So he can see what happens when you ACTUALLY do nothing.
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This is why I do not desire to ever be a stay at home Mom because idc what a person says, they will most likely get tired of taking care of you. Furthermore, men will NEVER understand how hard it is to take care of children full time and trying to get them to understand is like talking to wallpaper. Good luck to you girl.
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How old are your kids? Are they newborn, toddlers, preteen? First off I would stop taking care of him, if he is a grown man enough to have kid(s) he should be coming home and helping you prepare dinner/cleaning/ laundry and playing with the kids!!! Your not his housekeeper or maid, YOUR HIS WIFE AND THE MOTHER OF HIS KIDS.
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You have to get a new man or get a job. He has made up his mind and in his eyes you will never be equal.
I am a stay at home mom and the way he treats you isn’t normal or okay
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I’d have a job so quick he’d be thinking I’m trying to leave him! I would stop taking care of him me and the kids only! He would have to wash his own clothes and cook his own meals! Then we can talk about it again!
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Just stop…stop doing for him stop making his meals, doing his laundry…and then give him a bill for daycare…or tell him you’ll get a job and he can stay home.
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He knows what you do is important and probably harder in some ways than what he does. He will keep bringing it up when you get in fights because that’s all he’s got to say. You are a great wife and mother and you don’t get to clock out and leave. I don’t know how to help but I’m in a similar situation and I feel for you. You are doing a good job.
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I know most people are saying to stop doing anything, but then he’ll most likely point out how you don’t work or do anything at home.
Discuss with him the idea of you going back to work and splitting the house chores, and finding a sitter. Maybe he feels you guys can manage and feels the financial pressure weighing on him (speaking from the perspective of a working mom who has felt that way).
Or maybe he doesn’t know what he’s saying and will realize he needs you at home, once you suggest otherwise.
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Get a job and send the kids to daycare. He can help with the chores and kid raising. Stack emergency funds for you and your kids. These types are never satisfied… he will start complaining that you have a job.
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Get a part time job and put child care quotes for him to see. Once he realizes how much that’ll cost him…he will probably sing a different tune. Let him know he will be responsible for picking and taking kids to daycare and dinner some nights bc you’ll be working. Also take pics of how the house looks when it’s clean and display those and let him know you expect the house to look like that when he’s on dad Duty bc again you’ll be working. This worked for me.
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with a so called man like that u could work ft and do.all that and hed still find something to complain about how his is harder etc sorry to say but wonlt stop until u stand up for yourself or leave dont be so dependent on him at the end of the day u can only depend on yourself
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I’d say fine I’ll get a freaking job and we can start paying for daycare and you can start doing your own dishes.
Honestly if it was me I’d actually do it and not make it a threat, he obviously doesn’t take you or what you do seriously so make him fold his own undies
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Tell him he needs to come straight home from work to watch the kids so you can go find a retail/serving job that you can work around his schedule. Let him know that once you get a job that they will be a regular thing, he is going to have to work all day then come home and take care of the house and kids. Very few men could handle that, I bet he learns his lesson real quick!!!
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I was a stay at home mom, my ex and I divorced and reliazed how dependent I was on his finances, went back to work and love it. Do I miss my kids when I’m working? Absuetly but I will never depend on someone else again. Being a stay at home in the most unrewarded, under appreciated job but is also one of the best jobs. Its his low blow jab.
make sure the children are taken care of and do nothing more I tell my husband I am a stay at him mom not a stay at home chef and house keeper if he wants me to cook or clean I do so while he watches kids other wise he can do his share around the house thankfully while my husband was out of work for the pandemic he learned real fast how was it is because I took up a job for a few months while he was off. Men are visual creatures they have to see to believe let him do your job for awhile and he will see how hard it is
Sounds to me like you had different expectations and maybe you need to talk about what those are going forward. If you get a job, that changes the responsibilities at home. You need to clarify what you both want and set clear boundaries.
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Every time I hear the phrase “my partner throws it in my face that I don’t work” I automatically say to myself that the one saying it is jealous. My man goes to work every day. I do odd jobs like baking for friends but I am home all the time and pay for more things then he does so the first time he threw it in my face that I didn’t “go to work” like he does, I sat down and I made a list of everything I pay for, all the chores I do, and looked up how much it would cost him to have those chores done by an agency every week (like laundry, dishes, making food, and so forth) and left it on the bed where he could look at it. The man hasn’t said another word about it in 7 years.
A lot of the time they think a magic fairy comes in and does all those jobs while we sit on our butts watching tv 
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I agree with Melissa just don’t do anything for a few days and he will see that your work is harder than what he thinks
My husband does this as well, I’ve resorted to not cleaning. Not doing his laundry or cleaning up his messes or doing the dishes he uses. He learned pretty quick that it is a hard job. Especially with 4 kids and 5 on the weekends. I work from sun up to sun down and even late into the night since I have a 3 month old. It isn’t okay to be talked to like that. Especially if he does nothing around the house to help ease the load. Either stop doing everything for him or just throw him in the trash where he belongs 
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How about instead of leaving him, try this first…tell him that if he can everything you do in one day, that you will get a job to contribute to the household income but that means he has to split everything 50/50 with you. If he can’t handle everything you do in one day then he needs to apologize and stop saying you don’t work. Being a stay at home mom is a 24/7/365 day job.
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Get a job and then he has to pitch in for things around the house and childcare it will definitely help show what he’d have to do if you worked
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Literally like others are saying, these men never stop complaining! If you got a job, he would probably get mad the house wasn’t perfect and that you don’t feel like cooking all the time🤷🏽♀️
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Go back to work because he obviously is not happy with the current situation and you do not want to end up single and unemployed if things go bad. Make him pay for daycare and cook his own food that will probably make him change his tune.
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So on his next day off have him do all the cooking cleaning and take care of the day while you relaxing and then ask him how he feels at the end of the night
Always? Has there been discussions when this has previously happened? Communication on how you feel when he says things like that and what he’s feeling and why he is throwing it in your face like that?? I just feel like there’s always a lot of miscommunication in households these days and marriages are hard work but not impossible. If it’s something y’all can fix, find a solution and move on stronger together 
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I am also a stay at home mom, and he needs to understand that it is a full time job! The petty side of me wants to say (don’t clean the house for a day or two and make dinner for you and your kids, let him come home to nothing being done) but that will only make it worse… I do recommend tho that you tell him that what you do is important you are keeping him and your children Alive
Get a job and split the chores.
Find a hobby and use your free time to get better at it.
In the mean time, save ya munty.
All people* should have an emergency fund.
You can do door dash, grub hub etc.
American express, apple and many others offer work at home jobs.
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Dont do it. My bf would say that at first and then when he took care of them about 2 months because of an injury and i actually started working, he realized everything i did and i still got home and cooked dinner and laundry and bigger stuff. But it wasnt just physical cleaning. He realized the mental as well. I even would get home and say what you doing? Why is the house dirty not in an angry way but i would just ohhh its not that easy huh? Hmmm thats crazy. And now he appreciates what i do for him and the kids even if the house is t perfect sometimes he understands why. Im not saying he needs to be injured but maybe leave him home with the kids for atleast a week and see how his mind changes real quick
Stop doing it. When he says what have you done all day? Say, normally I bust my butt. Today I did nothing so you could see that I work too, in a different way. Then, make him help you clean it up.
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My thoughts… tell him to take a weeks vacation from his job and do what you do in that week off. You go stay with a friend. Come back home for dinner. Then leave again. See how well he manages all that stay at home moms do.
Make him do all the chores just take care of the kids and you and leave all his stuff alone. Make him make his own meals and go find a job and send the kids to daycare or work when they’re in school.
I would call his bluff, find daycare for the kids, get a part-time job and see what he thinks after coming home to corn dogs and top ramen.
Depends on the age and stage of the kids…and what chores fall on them now…do you have enough spare time to contribute $$$ to the pot now??
If its possible have him take ur place for a week or two. Dont help him (unless it’s something important to do with ur children) let him figure things out on his own. Then sit down en talk about how things went for him. Some times it takes them walking in our shoes for a bit to really see that were not just laying around while fairies do everything. And how exhausting it really is to be a stay at home parent.
Since he doesn’t believe you work, stop “working” aka taking care of the house, stop making his hot meals, stop washing his clothes. Do everything for you and the kids and nothing for him. You’ll see how fast his opinion changes. 
You can work full time, take kids to and from daycare, plus clean do all the laundry, take care of kids and cook dinner and HE WILL STILL FIND SOMETHING TO BELITTLE YOU ABOUT. Either leave or find a way to ignore his rude comments. Been there done that.
Don’t do anything no cleaning no hot meals no washing clothes nothing and when he asks what’s going on tell him your busy looking for a job like he wants
Get a job and make him help. Thats what I did. My hubs begged me to quit.
This is why I work part time. I work 25 hours a week and make as much as my partner who works 40hours. We mostly split house work except I do all the school and dr stuff. He got on me once about how I work less and I told him if it’s a problem quit his job and stay home and do everything and I’ll work full time and expect him to do everything.
He backed down real quick.
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Stop doing it, get a job and pay daycare THEN is maybe when he’ll realize what you do. Make sure to tell him he needs to help pay for it too!
My partner told me that also… We had a fight and i cry a river hahaha… And i decided to take some rest and go with my friends at their farm on his rest day for him to realize how hard it is when your in the house taking care the kids and clean all day and so on… For 1 day only… I told him what to do in morning until evening… And when i come home my neighbor told me not to leave them again… Because when my daughter cries he cried also hahaha … He cant see me directly on the eyes… He was crying while cooking for our dinner, and said sorry… 
One parent works and the other stays home and both Requires Responsibility And Work.
STOP DOING EVERYTHING!! Just do what you need for your kids and yourself and let him fend for himself! He will quickly realize how important you are.
lol Yeah I was told something like this before and I went on strike I didn’t cook, clean dishes, do his laundry, clean the house. yeah realized in a week what I did
Work evenings. He can take care if kids at night.
Raising children and house responsibility is a job that doesn’t pay 
but in other ways it does. It’s exhausting and takes your time too.
Do nothing so he can see everything u do. Get a part time job when he’s off so he can take care of the kids.
I go through the exact same thing… for years… until i got a job(s) and he didn’t like that either and sabotaged my jobs…now when he mentions that I don’t work, mind you I have 4 daughters and 2 son in laws living here, His father says “Oh we are on this crap again” and he stops. But i understand you fully. It is a real problem. Good luck!
I mean he could pay for childcare while you work too. Which would be meaningless unless your income is triple the pay. Childcare is costly too.
Offer to go back to work and split house and parenting responsibilities 50/50. He will go back on his words real quick!
Make a list of jobs you do , housework $10 hour, cook $5hour and so on and give him the bill each week
Do what I did back in 80s…write down everything…babysitting…housekeeper…cook…add hrs long and going rate for each of these. It puts in perspective how much you save him. Make sure you add in ALL the hours! Also as Melissa Rose says don’t touch any of his clothes or clean up his messes.
You take care of the house, thats important. Keep doing it your at home. He does pay for everything remember he works hard to provide.
Go out for the whole day on a Saturday or Sunday (equivalent to his day at work) and leave him alone with the kids
Either sit down and talk to him. Don’t do it while ur in a fight.
Or don’t do anything one or two days other then of course take care of the kids.
Let him do your Job for the weekend while you kick your feet up and relax and see if he feels the same way.
You do more than enough without having a break. Your jobs 24/7 and you should be respected for it. You can’t have a day off or decide you don’t want to look after your children! I’ve been there too and it cuts when they mention that.
So, show him how much it would cost if u did work. Start with child care, then after school care. Dont forget eating out for a family of 4 at least twice a week kause yall both too tired to cook. Then the gas, and not to mention the new waredrobe u need for work because its business casual and all you own are sweats. Cmon girl…get creative. Bet he won’t complain anymore
Been there, done that. You’re married to a narcissist who will never change. Even IF you went back to work, he would use another reason to hold you back and break your esteem.
In hindsight, I wish I’d have left earlier. That said, at least I left.
You need to weigh your self esteem and the fact that your children are impressionable to the way a family dynamic works. Would you want your son to be like his father, and your daughter to be treated as you are?
Personally, I chose to struggle as a single mother rather than allow my husbands to continue treating me as if my WORK and EXISTENCE didn’t matter.
Well first, it isn’t okay for him to say that. But of course, talk to him. Maybe there’s some financial trouble that he’s stressing about. Being a stay at home mom is hard and so is being a working mom, so weigh the pros and cons of both with him. Finding a common ground is key in a relationship.
You can take a weekend (or his days off) and stay in a hotel or with a friend to get some “you time”. Leave him with the kids and then he will see what you do all day.
Get a job, hire babysitters. He doesn’t respect your contributions.
Wow I would be so mad if my husband did this!! Sending good vibes your way
Get a job and have him pay for childcare
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You can do it all by yourself & not need him 
Stop doing all you do. no cooking no cleaning… no washing.
He’s venting toward you. Some else must be wrong. I say beware.
Let me tell you I rather go to work every day…and I do…instead of the big task at home…
Go get a job, quit taking care of him, and revel in your independence.
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Stop cleaning maybe you’ll get the hint
STOP doing NOTHING!! He will quickly realize how much you did if you stop! Point proven! 🤷
Go get a job and leave him responsible to clean up after himself, cook for himself and do for himself. Split bills 50/50
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Write up bill for cleaning house per hour. What cost send kids day care. Times u would need that care. What cost gas go to work n drop n pick up kids. Price wash dry fold clothes. Cook dinner. I did this to my man he happy to let me stay home now
I’d leave the house work an not have a cooked meal waiting for him… or ask him to swap, get him to go on holiday for two weeks and you get a job
Switch with him for a day.
How old are the kids? Do you have to be home or choose to?
when your kids are old enough for school get a career
Ones saying leave it for him. Im laughing. Cause she going clean it after he see reality
Leave him, asap and don’t think twice.
I’d give him a detailed bill at the end of the week. Obviously, pay is the only equation to a job he understands so CHARGE HIM for all that you do.
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Let him come home to no meal dirty house and no clean clothes speaking as a man
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Stop doing everything, stop shopping for food - stop cleaning- leave his clothes on the floor - leave the meat in the freezer - leave it all undone- and if he doesn’t see the undone work - well, your choice 
You don’t. He is obviously resentful towards you for it and thats is hard to get through. Usually stems from the stress of having to financially support a household by yourself. Thats pretty dang stressful. 3 peoples worlds are resting on his shoulders, looking to him for everything. He needs to know he’s appreciated and not alone in the financial aspect of the relationship. Resentment turns hateful pretty quickly, I’d get to work on something soon before it gets any worse
There is a lot of comments telling you to stop cooking and cleaning, remember the saying 2 wrong don’t make a right. And let’s be real you’re going to end up cleaning and cooking anyway or your kids won’t be taken care of. Are there financial concerns about you not working? Is it an absolute must that you stay home? Are you capable of working? Did you both work prior to having kids? There’s a lot of missing info here
Wait, did you both not agree you would be a SAHM, because there is no reason for this if you did. Speak up.
Look up everything you do on Care.com (this will give you the hourly wage for all your jobs, babysitting, cleaning, laundry, dog walking, etc and next time he throws that in your face give it to him and say here’s my contribution… I can get a job but this is what it will cost you to replace all that I do!!
Dunno him he will figure it out real quick.
Don’t prove anything to him. Break up with him.
I would personally leave lol, don’t he realise you’re at home 24/7 looking after your kids which by the way he created so it’s not like you’re sitting on your arse doing nothing. You should be equal and he is not treating you as an equal…you and your kids deserve so much better x
I worked when we had our first because daycare was affordable. When we had our second 5 years later, I stayed home. Two years later, we had our third. One day, he came home after a bad day for me and nothing was done. He commented that I had it easy. I said, “Okay, on Saturday, I’m leaving and going to do what I want. You stay home with the kids.” He thought I’d be gone an hour or so. I was gone all damn day, at least 8 hours. When I came back, he apologized because he had to deal with all three, two still in diapers, and couldn’t get anything done. He’s always been good (even before then) about helping when he is home. But didn’t realize just how much I did when he isn’t home.
Go and get a job. Make your own money. Take care of you and the children. Get your own place. Leave him. Let him take care of himself. If you argue a lot, abs he brings it more than, once every few months, I would leave.