Don’t do shit for him for two weeks! That’ll put his ass in place quick!!!
He is taking advantage of you hun definitely get rid of him it may do you good to get a little job it’s your money then at least he can’t moan he should do if he loves you all why moan you doing everything it should be 50/50 there only fair good luck get him to pay for day nursery . Make him make meals for every one and clean x take care of you and the children 
get a nee man who cares about you xx he don’t appreciate you
Get a job and let his ass take care of “home”. I was a stay at home mom for 3 years & I’ll never do that again. Hundred times harder than going to work
Yeah. I was always the best stay at home mom in the world. Until we started arguing. Then everything was HIS. I needed to give him HIS money, HIS car keys, HIS phone, etc. Because they’re HIS. He paid for them so theyre his 
(not entirely true at all buuuut whatever lol) also, he would constantly remind me that I could never possibly get custody of the kids because HIS family makes all the money. HIS family provides for them. Im basically just “the hole they came out of” I believe were his words.
I left.
I have full custody.
I took all of MY belongings that I earned by being a full time care giver to his children so he could work (when he felt like it)
Don’t. Let. Him. Talk. To. You. Like. That. Do NOT tolerate disrespect. YOU have the hardest job in the world. IDGAF what he does for a living, Your job is harder. You are taking care of his child. You are cooking. You are cleaning. I’ll bet $100 you do AT LEAST 75% Of the grocery shopping, dr appointments, taking baby(ies) to and from everywhere they need to go. I also bet YOU were up 90% of the night in the newborn phase and YOU deal(t) with all the sleep regressions, teething, sick babies, toddler tantrums, and everything in between. So you are a mom. Cleaner. Chef. Chauffeur. Alarm clock. Nurse. Maid. And SO much more. If he can’t see and respect all you do, leave. He will never respect you.
This is hard, I had a job and did pretty much everything at home and he still complained how I wasn’t earning enough money or doing enough. I hope that your husband will get to his senses cause mine didn’t.
My husband said this to my ones before kids and I start to work and I haven’t stopped working despite having 2 kids now. I am make him clean cook and take care of our children I don’t pay for daycare because lucky me we work opposite schedules. So one of us is always with the kids 
sometimes he asks me to stay home that it be easier for him but now we make about the same $$$ and I loved having my own money and I never have to depend on him. It away his comments made me independent and I know my worth. Now he always complements how hard I work for our family and we work as a team.
Leave all his shit for him to do himself and see how he likes it.
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Stop doing it. Show him what doing nothing is.
I got a job. I had to listen to him bitch so I started working. Now when he complains about having to clean cause he works I yell at him that I work and gotta clean too! 
A lot of woman tend to go trough this , if you were working it will be so much harder on him meaning he will have to start helping more around which is his job to help also your not his maid ! But also you can sell stuff from home pretty much anything that will bring in money for you at least for your things we’re he can’t say he buys you extra stuff , you can stay home watching your children while making a bit of extra money !! And you’ll feel a little better little by little .
Being a sahm IS work. Let his punk ass take over for a week or two, he’ll be bitching day one.
Leave him he doesn’t appreciate you
Good luck with that!! I have dealt with the same shit for 9yrs and nothing has changed except the fact my sons are learning to be fucking lazy bc my room mate works everyday monday through sunday and doesnt lift a finger to clean his house I do all of it. And my sons are not even his.
That’s fine! Tell him you will look for work and check out child care places and show him how much it will be 
if he don’t shit his pants idk what will
I really wish I had something productive to tell you. In this post, you will get lots of different advice.
I, however… will give you the thoughts that come first to me.
Ugh… your SO is out of touch with reality.
Making money is great. Providing for your family is great. It’s important!!
But he obviously has no clue as to what you are doing.
In my opinion, he needs a dose of what real life with children is. I won’t sit here and tell you that you need to leave for a weekend and let him deal with the children… But… I will.
I will also add that he does not get to just feed them pizza and candy for one night. He needs to teach them how to read… or should I say… find the love of reading. Depending on what their ages are obviously…. 
He needs to get them to eat what he HIMSELF cooks for dinner. And then he needs to bathe them and brush their teeth and put them to bed.
He needs to comfort them. He needs to remember how important it is for them to feel safe.
If he were left alone for… Let’s say… Three nights. He would appreciate you more.
I will pray for you and I will hope that he is open to understanding what it is that you do. If not… I got nothing for you.
God Bless you Mama.
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Look for an job,take care of your kids and let him fend for his self since he wanna be an ass…and stack your money
Stop doing everything 
my advice (cause I’m an asshole) I would literally wake up one morning (before he gets up and leave) maybe put on “work clothes” or bring them with you and turn your phone off. Enjoy your day. Come home at the same time he would from work and ask, “where’s my hot dinner, I went to work today.” When he complains just say, I’m going to take a shower and relax, let me know when dinner is done. Don’t put the kids to bed, NOTHING. Don’t lift a single finger. The next day, ask him if he prefers to stay home and you work or if he would rather go to work and you stay home.
Don’t do Anything ! , don’t cook , don’t clean , don’t do shit . Let him see what you do then. While doing nothing for him , get you a job and do the rest for yourself and kids.
Go back to work. And start to bank some money on the side in an account he knows nothing about. Sounds like the beginning of the end and it’s best to have money if you need to leave.
He won’t see what you do as work because you’re not bringing money into the house.
Next time just stop for a couple days
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Send him the bill for your work . $25 an hour 24 hours a day let’s see if he can afford YOU
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Don’t do a thing. He’ll have his “come to Jesus” moment damn quick. Like leave it all.
Make him a bill … go thru jobs in ur area … house cleaner … personal chef … tutor… babysitter … laundry … chauffeur etc then tell him u get all that for free
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Then he can pay for full time childcare and you can go get you a minimum wage job that won’t come close to the cost of childcare. Then you can leave him a list of his half of the housework (since you’ll be working). He will lose money and personal time for a couple months, and he will realize it’s not worth it. At least you’ll get out for a bit. I mean, that’s what people say to me when I have a job outside the home anyway. 
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Honestly I would consider putting the kids in day care and going to back to work depending the age they are at. I wouldn’t have time for his bullshit. That is mental abuse. I would become more independent and then figure out if he is your person or not.
Write your list/bill and give it to him
Childcare-$
Cleaning service-$
Laundry service-$
Cooking service-$
Meal service-$
Nurse-$
Counselor-$
Referee-$
Chauffeur-$
Teacher-$
Any other service you provide. Tell him this is the cost of all these services, so get ready to pay if he wants you to work or shut the heckk up. Mothers get the short end of the stick and are under appreciated, a lot, especially sahm. Smh.
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Leave him to do it all on his day off and tell him you’re going to go job search. He needs to see what your day really involves to appreciate what you do. Clearly you’re so good at it, you make it look easy. 
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Don’t do it let him fend for himself
Get a job change the house hold dynamics and show him. That I can have work too but other things get sacrificed
Get a job Nd make him do 50 percent of work at home and with the children he will change his tune.
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Stop doing for him… stop doing his laundry & cooking his meals & whatever else he is benefitting from & when he asks why? Tell him, well you tell me I do nothing around here. If you want food, make it yourself. If you want your work clothes or whatever done, do it yourself. Cuz obviously it doesn’t just magically do itself.
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Respond with “and? You mean like a man is supposed to? What point are you trying to make?” He says those things because it’s a weapon against you, as soon as it stops hurting your feelings it won’t be useful to him anymore and he’ll think of something new. Take the power away from the statement by pretending you don’t care and that he should be doing that
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Have a emergency, that takes you away for the weekend.so he is left home with the kids to do All the things you do.Cooking, Cleaning, Laundry,And watching the children with no help,no Breaks.Then Maybe he will Understand
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Lmfao. Kick him out…see how the both of you fair on your own.
Do not recommend stopping the work you are doing lol, then you’ll just be stuck cleaning double 2 weeks from now. Love the list of services idea!! Make a time lapse or something, show him how much you’re doing. AND when things are going well have an honest conversation about how those moments make you feel and hope that next time you guys have a disagreement he can refrain from acting like you do shit all and try to take notice in how much you do.
Get a Job. Seriously, mine used to do the same thing. I got a job and then he complained about things not getting done. I looked him right in the face and said Its not my Job I go to work everyday. He quickly figured out how much I did and I also learned how lucky I was to be a stay at home mom.
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Once you start making money the chores won’t get done anymore the same , find something you love to do and make money out of it and it won’t feel like a job or even have to leave your home
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And the bill for what he owes you, according to the many forms of employment that you commit to everyday. Everything explained clearly:
Cleaning Service: $
Laundry Service: $
Chef Service: $
Waiter Service: $
Dr/Nurses Consultation Fee: $
Day Care Fee: $
Chauffeur Service: $
Security Service: $
Routine Partner Maintenance and Service Fee: $
Did I miss anything?
The man doesn’t love you, he’s abusing you psychologically, emotionally, spiritually and verbally. You do everything yourself in any case, you don’t need him.
Take your kids, get out of there. Take him to court, the judge will make him pay whether he likes it or not.
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You won’t make him realize that unless he wants to accept the fact and it doesn’t seem like he will. This was my marriage for the first 7 years. I started working but my job had to fit the kids school schedule and it still wasn’t deemed as enough. His job always trumped mine even though I’d come home and still do all the extra stuff. Now here we are a total of 12 years later… We got married April 16th of 09 and I’ll be signing the divorce decree today. Unless he starts seeing your worth in the situation it will not get better. You can always just stop cleaning up his mess and stop cooking for him and just worry about yourself and the kids. Maybe he will be thankful that you have fresh clothes, a hot meal and a clean home ready for him after he starts having to fend for himself.
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Honestly good luck because I’m still trying to get mine to figure out that my s***'s just as important too
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Get a job…or (just you) go on a short vacation.
MAKE him realize what you actually do. He sounds like an asshole btw.
Goodluck to you girl
I’d say stop doing it.
He’ll see real quick how much u do.
Or write a list down and say look, u work all day but I do too…
Or throat punch him and tell him stop being disrespectful
Either one works
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Being a stay at home mother is a 2 person decision. If it doesnt work for your man you need to consider his feelings and input too. Obviously he has feelings about it since it’s brought up with opportunity.
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Stop doing it… tell him you want to get a job because of his comments. Then find a day care and get the cost for it and tell him he has to pay for half of it at least. Then get the price of a weekly house cleaner and tell him he needs to split that bill with you also… I bet he changes his mind real quick
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You do work! Being a housewife is a job and don’t get paid for. Laundry, breakfast, lunch dinner, dishes, vacuum, sweeping, moping, driving kids to their appointments, school, sports, etc grocery shopping, etc its a FULL TIME JOB! Put everything in a balance and see where it leans more to. Then hopefully he’ll realize everything you have on your plate. Then, hopefully he’ll realize how much you do for him and your children.
He would pay if yall divorced and have to do for himself so stop doing for him.
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My husband used to do the same. So I went and got me a job. He realized real quickly what I done when I was a stay at home mom. He had to start doing stuff to around the house. Needless to say he begged me to quit and hasnt said a negative comment to me again about me being a stay at home mom.
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Don’t do any of it for a reason days and let him see how much you don’t work🤷♀️
Get a job outside of the home.
Explain that you’re tired of him demeaning your role in your family and so, you will be working full time and when he gets home, he will have to help keep the house clean, do laundry, stop at the grocery store and see how on board he is with that.
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Lol i had. This issue. We couldn’t afford childcare. Hubby happened to loose his job… so I went to work. Needless to say he was begging to go to work after 9 months.
You won’t convince him. What you do is valuable, and important, but getting a part time job might be a way to round out your perception of the world. It’s not about doing what someone else says, it’s about getting a different perspective. Peace and blessings to you.
Call your insurance agent with him listening . Ask that agent what it would cost to insure you in case you die ( also keeping in mind he’d need a cook , a maid and a caretaker for the kids ) . He will be stunned at your worth ! My agent did this ( without my ever asking ) years ago and was just doing a “ check up “ on our insurance needs . My ex husband was floored . He never questioned my worth and even when we divorced , he fully supported me so I could stay home with our kids !
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Stop doing everything around the house. Then he’ll really see what’s it’s like if you did nothing.
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Get a job then. Tell him to figure out child care, a cook and a maid. Tell him to get back to you when he figures out expenses. By then, if he’s smart, he’ll see how good he has it.
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Let his dirty clothes pile up and put them on his side of the bed and make him make his own food. If clearly all you do is stay home and do nothing then none of his things need to be taken care of
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Stop cooking him his food and doing his laundry for him. Then he will really have something to complain about.
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Send his ass a bill for everything you do. Look up local rates in your area for childcare, cleaning, cooking, laundry, etc. My so does this sometimes and we recently had a big fight and my mom actually talked to him explaining everything I do. Maybe hearing it from an outsider will help him realize just how much you’re contributing.
That’s so pettyyy, I’d be petty right on back. I would stop doing everything for him and start applying for jobs asap. Make him pay for the childcare & unless he’s willing to go 50/50 on household duties because y’all both will be working, make him pay for a maid too . If he can’t appreciate all you do then hit him where it hurts and that’s right in his pockets. Paying for childcare alone should wake him up.
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Stop doing what you do every day. Make him do his own laundry and make his own meals. Those dishes? Well honey, wash them yourself. Obviously you’ll want to continue taking care of your needs and the needs of your children like washing clothes and making meals for the 3 of you, but don’t clean the house beyond anything other than keeping it a healthy environment. Like keep it clean, but don’t worry about organized. He may not really understand how much work you have to put when you do what you do. Or that you are an active contributor to the home.
If he’s a dick about it, and has zero empathy for the amount you do, then I’d say he’s an abusive man and you’re better off without him. Controlling money or acting like you’re not entitled to some of the household money IS IN FACT abuse.
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Had one of those. Left him. 
Issue resolved
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Do nothing but keep your kids alive for a week.
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Start charging him a hot meal, charge him for baby sitting the kids, charge him for a clean house clean laundry etc and tell him if he doesn’t pay it doesn’t happen he’ll shut that crap up real quick.
Get a job or stop doing what you do so he has to start or both those options or leave him because you should be with someone who appreciates you specially when your raising his kids
Get a night job two days a week after a month he’ll make you quit. Make sure it’s minimum wage as well. Problem is once you do you’ll love the freedom so to speak. If it’s a night job he’ll have to take care of the kids and make his own dinner. Getting one during the day won’t work because he’ll still expect you to do the same and your wage will be taken up by daycare. Hugs. Hugs.
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I’d stop cooking, stop cleaning up his stuff, stop doing his clothes, etc for him so he can do it himself
He knows it’s all he has to throw in your face. I would sit his petty ass down and research how much it would cost him to have all the jobs you do in a day done by a professional. How much would it cost him to have the kids taken care of? How much would it cost for his house to be clean when he gets home, his clean laundry, his hot meals?? How much would it cost for that man to live the life he lives with out you in it?
Stop doing everything and tell him this is what looks like if you do nothing.
How old are the kids? I think that’s a really important thing to know. If they’re toddlers it is a completely different story to if they’re young teens.
I’d get a job and start saving money. This sounds like it may not end well.
Make his pay for …ahem… your time… $500 for this… $100 for that… bam… now you have a job and are making money.
Stop doing everything for a week. If he still isn’t thankful for everything you do then, leave.
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Get a job thats opposite of his and stop doing all the house wife stuff. Make him cook some meals, clean and care for the kids.
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One thing I realized when I was in that situation is that you can’t convince him of anything if he’s already saying that. He doesn’t understand your job at all and he isn’t trying to. That speaks volumes. Maybe try talking to him firmly, but with respect of coarse or therapy if you need a mediator. Just my two cents. I hope all goes well for you.
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I would TRY firmly talking to him on a level. Sounds like emotional abuse to me though. My abusive ex used to be like this so I stopped doing everything just got me deeper into a hole because he wouldn’t do it either and his excuse was I’ve been working , he never admitted to being wrong and it just left me more to do trying to prove a point to him. They dont realise how much you do until you arent around to do it anymore and that’s a fact , now I take care of both babies by myself and I wouldn’t have it any other way , he hasn’t got a job now and is homeless because he never learnt to do anything by himself. Sometimes it’s just best to throw the whole man away to fend for itself.
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Get a job.
Make arrangements for the kids to go to a sitter. And do not do any chores.
Tend to the children 50/50
It will be hard but show him.
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And make him pay for the sitter
It sounds like you need to consider that maybe it is time for you to work. If he is complaining about the fact you do not work and contribute financially; maybe he is struggling to make ends meet? Maybe he is thinking of the extras you could afford or money you could be saving. If you are able to work, I would consider it. At least ask him why he always brings this up.
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You ain’t going to make him see it your way… Ever… He likes the power and control he has over you and will throw it up every time. Best thing to do is find child care, and get a job and get ready to leave him cause it’ll always be like that. Men think stay at home moms sit on their asses all day and do nothing whether the house is clean and food is cooked. I lost my job in Feb and won’t be going back til Aug. Now my bf is not my kids dad but he hasn’t said shit about me not working and appreciates the things I do even if I’m having a down day and don’t do shit but the dishes… It’s all about how much he actually respects and appreciates the things you do… It’s also one thing if he’s venting but the fact he brings it up every time y’all argue. I would consider getting a job and getting away
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it appears that he is not valuing your worth. You work. You just don’t get paid in money for it, but in love from your kids (hopefully). Go visit a friend/parent for two days, on a weekend he may not work, and leave the kids with him. He might value you more when you get back. if not, get counseling with him. That’s verbal abuse, honey.
Offer to switch roles. You get a job and he can stay home with the kids and do everything you do.
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Wow! I think he need to go to counseling. Trying to make you feel bad about yourself is not how to love someone. He is the one with issues.
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Go away for the weekend and leave the kids with him! If he still acts like a jersey make a plan to leave!
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Make him the stay at home Daddy for a week.
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Did he agree to you being a sahm? If yes I’d remind him. If no then maybe he is resentful for having to be the only one working.
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Stop doing his laundry.
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I’d get a part time job. Both of your jobs are hard. I’d never be a stay at home mom. ( I just don’t have the mentality for it )
Maybe he is stressed because working people only view stay at home moms as you can literally work in your pjs. When they don’t understand talking to 2-3-4 year Olds all day is stressful and adult interaction is wanted/needed. Your your own sanity and some relief just grab a part time job. Or babysit for some extra cash. This way you can contribute, and throw it in his face you have your own income and that argument needs to come to a stop.
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You need to have a good talk with him. Tell him how his comments are hurtful and not fair. Ask how he’s feeling. Does he feel stressed about the money etc? If you go back to work he needs to do 50% of the childcare and housework etc otherwise you’ll end up working and still doing everything else. It’s not ok for him to be treating you like this, devaluing you and putting you down. If it carries on I would suggest you seriously consider leaving before it gets worse. Also if you’re looking after the kids, keeping the house perfect and having meals ready for him etc you’re doing an AMAZING job!!! You’re both providing for your family in different ways. x
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Go get a job to prove a point, when that child care bill comes in and the house is a mess, he will be begging you to stay home… he won’t see it until it happens so for now he’s just going to throw it in your face.
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My SO and I always had that same argument and he would always throw that in my face. Just because I don’t bring home a paycheck doesn’t mean I don’t work. Being a SAHM is hard work. I’m raising two kids as well. He eventually realized what I do is a long and tiring day and he hasn’t thrown that in my face in a really long time. Being a SAHM is a 24/7. 365 days a year job. It’s no 9-5 job there’s no paid time off or sick leave. For some people/men don’t realize that and hard for them to understand all of what a stay at home moms does. They don’t see the daily struggle and everything else that goes on behind closed doors.
Hope things get better for you.
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Is he willing to do half the work you do at home if you go out to work?
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Well then he can either stay home while you get a job or find and pay a sitter so you can work. It’s easy to be a judgmental ass if he’s not willing to put himself in your shows.
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Tell him to swap roles for a week !
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If he doesn’t realize it now he won’t ever.
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Get a part time job at night. My ex wouldnt do a friken thing so I quit my fulltime job and got a part time job at night.
Go get a job and sign the littles up for daycare. Mindndid this one time and I informed him that if he did not want his child in daycare then he better stop where he is because I do work I work on chasing her ass all damn day, but I would gladly take a break and get a job then he can sit home and do her and potentially go to jail because I’m not paying his child support 
haven’t heard that in now almost 3 years and he just bought me a new car. Make sure he knows where you stand on this and if he keeps on make good on your promise and be like we’ll the kiddos start daycare tomorrow I love my so but that will not ever fly. We both do equal amounts (well I do more but he works so it evens out) and saying he does more because he getsnpaid to do what he does but you do not is never acceptable.
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Maybe he is stressed out and wants some help ? Perhaps he doesn’t know how to express himself. Idk I was a working mom before and I still made sure he didn’t have to do anything around the house. I’m a SAHM now for almost 3 yrs and my husband is basically like you don’t need to work you don’t need a job but also he never throws it in my face or Denys me anything. So I guess there are a lot of factors. We are about to have our 3 rd child this summer so I’m beyond thankful I’m able to be at home and raise my baby.
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Stop doing it. That is the only way, make him do his own shit, he will soon realise.
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