This is a tragic situation but even so, he deserves to know the truth even if it hurts.
Please just tell him the truth
Sweetie my heart hurts for you - first off - honesty, trust, understanding and unconditional love is what you’ve taught your son - right- trust in your “family soul” - together you are strong young one.
If I were you, I’d tell him the truth. He will probably be so very grateful that you chose him over abortion, and equally grateful that your husband chose him also.
But also tell him you aren’t certain and the three of you could find out who his father is together. Wouldnt it be so wonderful if it was your husband? Either way, your husband will always be his dad, blood doesn’t make you a dad. This will be hard, but he needs to hear the truth.
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You’d better tell him. Would you rather him find out through a random test or from you? Truths always come out whether you want them to or not. You need to tell him or he could end up being upset and confused. You need to head this off.
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Apologize for keeping this lie. Tell him the truth! He deserves to know the truth. Lying never ends well!
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Honesty is the best policy. Yes he will be hurt for you but respect his father for being honorable and respect you for being a survivor. If you absolutely can’t bring urself to do that, Perhaps tell him his dad didn’t have a high enough sperm count so you two went the route of donor sperm. You never asked for the name as you both consider him yours. Good luck
Both should tell him before he finds out on his own.
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I would definitely not want my child around a person like that so i would just tell him the truth!
As someone who was lied to by my parents… TELL HIM THE TRUTH no matter how hurtful it can be. I promise you the lie will be way worse.
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Do not lie ,hun im so sorry this happened but it was not your fault nor your sons I would seek the advice of a counselor you obviously havent healed
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That is a hard one…but honesty is always best policy in my opinion. He is an adult now. Treat him as one.
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Never cover one lie with another. They always come out in the end.
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Truth is best. Lies are extremely hard to live with but you already know this.
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If he asks, tell him the truth. He is an adult and will understand. Don’t tell him you cheated then he may feel differently toward you and then want to find his bio dad
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Better to tell him the truth. He may be hurt at first but better he knows the truth. His true father is your husband.
If you tell another lie, all that you will do for the rest of your life is lie to cover up the previous one. If your son is truly that precious to you, which he should be, doesn’t he deserve to know the truth? Good luck!
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Don’t lie to him if he’s the most precious thing to you,
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If you do not want him to reach out to his bio dad or his family, telling him the truth is the best option.
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You don’t have to tell him the hole story and I’d tell him something before the DNA comes inn
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I’m afraid you have performed a 24 year experiment in classic psychological experimentation, the old enviornmental versus genetic influence, unfortunately your fears were not justification for lies and omitions, and the thought of another whopper on top of that, you have built a giant resentment bomb and it sounds like its going off soon, my limited sympathy’s to you and my profound sympathy’s to him
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Im really sorry. Ignore the unsympathetic A-holes. This is a tough situation. Im always preaching tell the truth however this could really cause some emotional damage either way. I can understand your thought process with saying you cheated instead. Id prepare to tell the truth and look into some counseling for you both to help you guys cope with moving forward. Stay strong.
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Honesty is the best thing to do. He will find out and he’ll be more hurt finding out from someone else rather then you.
Your husband IS your son’s father. No need to bring up anything about this sad part of your life right now. That awful incident was turned into a blessing-your son. I would probably recruit the help of a Christian counselor at this point so you & your husband can be ready with viable, well-thought out answers should your son ask. Blessings to all of you.
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Lying to him will hurt him more than telling him the truth. Be honest to your precious son. He deserves the truth.
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I don’t think I’d say anything unless I was asked.
Sperm donors do exist… I’m sorry you experienced such a horrible situation. Your hubby is definitely your sons “father” always will be just because someone’s DNA matches you doesn’t mean they are a parent. You love him unconditionally and so does your husband I think it’s time for a sit down before he has a website telling him confusing truths should come from you.
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I’d wait until the test comes back. Your Husband could be the father. If his not tell the truth then. Because you really didn’t know.
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Putting myself in your sons place, it would break my heart to know that you endured this trauma, but it would break my heart even more to know that you had lied to me. He’s old enough to handle this information now. Hearing this won’t be easy and telling him won’t be easy, but give him some credit for being a mature, caring adult! You might be surprised at how well he can handle and process this info. By all means, give him the chance to begin to process this information before he finds out you’ve been lying to him !
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Do not tell him you cheated he would think bad of you that would be worse plus that’s lieing to him be honest with him if u the going to tell him …
Do NOT lie to your child!! That is wrong!! You were assaulted and he needs to know. And he also needs to be reminded,that you chose life for him, no matter what the situation was. He obviously knows you and his Dad love him so finding out the truth may hurt him, but not as bad as to be continuously lied to. The child is 24 now, hes old enough to understand. Do NOT keep lying to this child! Live is not lying, and denying, love is honesty and faithful!! good luck!!
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I’m really sorry but you shouldn’t tell him you cheated on your husband he will resent you, when the time comes just let him know that no matter how he was brought into this world that you and your husband love him.
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As shitty as this whole situation is and as much as I sympathize, you gotta tell your son the truth. Reassure him that you love him no less because of how he was conceived as well. He will more than likely be upset, but showing him unconditional love and being honest is the biggest thing right now
Unless his bio dad also submits a DNA sample or your husband…its no big deal. He will never know.
In this day and age I think you need to sit down and tell him the truth. You sound like loving parents and how many children never have that.
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Tell him the truth. This is not a shame on you, it’s a shame on the person who did that to you. This same situation happened to someone I know. And the whole family knows. It’s not a disgrace on her. It’s not a shun on the child that was born. No one is treated differently. Family is family. His dad is your husband. Period. Secrets are never a good thing. They always surface.
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His dad is his only true dad. Biology doesn’t make a parent, love does. That’s a lot more than a phrase. It’s deep. You didn’t lie to him. IF the test shows he’s not biologically his dad’s then tell him what happened. There’s chances that your rapist may not have taken a DNA test from the same company or that he is your husband’s biological son. No reason tearing open those wounds without need.
I’m telling you this from expirence. My oldest is from rape. I was forced to tell him by someone who has no expirence being assaulted or raising a consequence of rape. He was mad. His level of self worth went way down. He’s made peace with it & realizes his self worth is more than how he came about. It was a very long road though.
If you do need to tell him tell him the truth. Tell him biology didn’t matter to his dad. He’s loved him from the moment he found out & that’s what matters. Give him space to be angry. He’s not mad at you, even though it will feel like it. He’s angry for you.
One lie begets another and another etc.Hard as it is the best thing is to be truthful. I feel that your kid ,with a little time , will see the loving family he has and will cope
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Don’t lie to him about cheating. The assault was not your fault.
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Just be honest. Don’t cover one lie with another. Chances are he will understand
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It’s part of his story. He should know the truth.
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You need to tell him. As someone who has went through this same exact situation, you need to tell him. My mom told me when I was 16 and it was crushing. He deserves to know the truth. As hard as it might be for you to tell him, it needs to be done.
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IF and ONLY IF the DNA indicates that your husband is not your son’s father and HE initiates the conversation, you should tell the truth. That one horrible event did not destroy your relationship with the man he has always known as his father and that the result of that event has turned into a compassionate young man. It will be hard, but he has a unique perspective of how women can move forward with love for a child, even when conceived under the worst possible circumstances.
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Don’t lie to him. He will hate you for it.
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Tell the truth, if you say you cheated and he wants to know his real father what will you do.
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God stated that the Truth will set us free:two_hearts:
I think he needs to know the full truth. I don’t think you should tell him that you cheated because that’s not what happened and makes you look like a bad person when in fact your a victim of a terrible thing. I think he will understand why you never told him just explain that it doesn’t change how much you both love him.
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Tell him the truth. I’m the product of assault it hurts to know butbits better to have that honesty trust me. PM me if you’d like to talk
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Tell him the TRUTH NOW…He will LOVE YOU & DAD EVEN MORE!
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It’s going to get exposed 100%. Family connections will pop up on the Ancestry app. I would be honest. I’m not sure if or how much of the assault I would personally go into. This is a tough one.
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If he asks tell him the truth . He will love you the same.
I would tell him the truth. There’s no need to lie. He would always look at you different. You guys sound like amazing parents, and not may kids have that. I would tell him if he asks about it, due to him taking the DNA kit. But I would tell him the truth.
The truth sets us free, he will be shocked, hurt and grieve but he will probably be grateful for the truth and for you both loving him enough to never let it change anything!
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Prepare yourselves to speak the truth
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My brother was a product of rape. It was by a much older family friend. My Mom was 15 when she had him. She told my brother and he went to find him. He did find him but the man completely denied him even though they are spitting images of each other. It bothered him at first that he was denied then he realized that all he really wanted was to let the rapist know that “he knew” what a piece of crap he was and that his secret of being a rapist could be proven.
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I would tell him the truth. Good luck and God Bless.
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I’d give it to God be will give you the knowledge as to what to do. I’ve been there and that’s what I did.
Tell him the truth the full truth
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Temper the truth. Dad loved you and get m regardless. The father is unknown. He is not. His birth father but a product of me m and dad loving him
Do not tell him you cheated. Be very honest with him without going into the traumatic details. Tell him with both Mom and Dad present. And tell him you loved him from the moment you found out and God gave you a wonderful gift that you wouldn’t change for the world.
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Truth is always best
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He is 24 im sure it will hurt but he can handle the truth hes not a teen still confused he is a grown man.
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I would not say you cheated. You both need to sit him down and talk about what happened. But he still could be your husbands son right?
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Go to therapy with him, talk to him about it in front of a therapist.
Just tell him the minimum, don’t go into details. If he asks tell him you don’t want to go into details. If he has friends that were assaulted as well, he hopefully should know not to push for details.
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Tell him the truth. It may bring him even closer to his dad for being his dad no matter and to you for keeping and loving him. Don’t tell him you cheated it could make him lose respect for you and make you look bad.
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Honesty is always the best policy. Lies only enable even more pain down the road.
He deserves to know what happened, even if he might not like the truth.
Definitely do not tell a lie like you cheated. Do not make yourself the villain when you were the victim. That’s not fair to anyone.
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Saying that you cheated would instantly make you the bad guy.
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Personally, I don’t think you should lie and say you cheated. Making yourself the villain only opens up the opportunity for him to be angry at you for something you didn’t really do. It could destroy your relationship. I think honesty is best, and showing how strong you are to overcome such a horrific thing and what an amazing man that stood by your side are not things to be ashamed of. Stop being so hard on yourself. You’re a survivor!
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I’m sure he will see the love both of y’all have for him.
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I’m sorry for what happened to you in the past, but the thing is you love your son no matter what and your husband loves him no matter what you raised him with love no resentment, you have showed him a life like no other and with love compassion you have to know in your heart that you and your husband really need to sit down and talk to him very open but he does need to know the truth and its best to come from you and your husband then through testing you have raised him wright it may take sometime but he will understand one day open minded…
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Please please don’t lie to him.
I think the truth would be best, you both love him very much, and I think he would appreciate that better.
If anything be truthful
Dont say you cheated. He is a grown man and deserves the truth. You dont know if the man that raised him as his father is his bio father or the person who assulted you but either way this isnt your fault. I wish this was tested earlier and could of been handled from the beginning but it wasnt so now you need to own your truth. No matter the results he still has his parents in the end.
Tell him the truth now doesn’t what
You gotta tell him before he finds out another way and you should be honest instead of him thinking his mom is a hoe
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Tell him the truth this wasn’t your fault. And let him know that you and the father love him. Did you and your husband have other child?
Whatever you do please do not lie to him!
In my opinion if you tell him you were young and cheated hes definitely gonna wanna meet his dad and he will do that with or without you. If I were you I’d tell him the truth. At least in that case he won’t be asking as many questions and it won’t back fire with him wanting to meet his birth father. Whether he has a dad or not every child wants to meet their birth parent as some point in their life. Don’t dig yourself a hole.
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Girl! Do not hesitate to be honest with him because the truth is so much better than a lie could ever be! He would have more love an compassion for you if you tell the truth about it than if he were to ultimately find out you lied to him…the truth will always set you free!
I would rather be hurt or upset by hearing the truth then to be lied to , You are a survivor & I believe that he will understand…
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Don’t tell him you cheated. He might then think he wants to find his dad and then how horrible would that be having him in your life. Im not sure what you should tell him but I wouldn’t tell him that. Good luck
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Google Titus O’Neil from WWE and read how he was created. A beautiful soul was born to a beautiful, strong girl and he respects the heck out of his Mom for giving him life in such a horrible situation. Good luck and stay positive 
If you lie to him it may change his opinion of you. He may resent you for “cheating.” Truth may hurt, but it’s always better than a lie.
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I acknowledge the absolute deep pain you carry as an abuse survivor, and the respect and love you have for your husband and son. It was a completely valid choice you made to keep your painful experience to yourself, especially not knowing any evidence either way. If your son belongs biologically to another father, I encourage you to remain honest. Although this is very difficult for everyone involved we often fail to see the benefits of this knowledge. You and your partner have created a wonderful, loving and supportive home against all odds, and many men who feel deeply moved by the realities of assault often lead the way professionally to help many many others find paths to safety. I wish the best for your family and I believe your son cares deeply for others enough to reach understanding for your pain and choices.
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Are you 100% certain he does not belong to your husband?
He’s 24… I would tell him, it’s something that happened to you in your past, and his Dad (your husband) loved you through it. If it comes to pass that he isn’t biologically your husband’s, he is completely his son because he raised him, loved him, and never questioned from the moment he knew he was going to exist that he was his son.
He will be ok, Mama… you raised a strong boy, and he will be ok through it, just be prepared for questions.
He’s a grown man and I understand protecting your children but don’t lie to him he’s old enough to understand and process what happened and you just remind him how much he’s loved and it does not define him obviously.
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Oh God bless all of you with this difficult situation… I can’t imagine & I can not tell you what to do but if you take any advice from all these people on here, myself included, please just tell him the truth. I promise it will work out for the best if you go with the truth & all of the truth. He is not what happened to you. He is an amazing gift, the silver lining of a horrible situation. So sorry it’s been so long but it’s time mama just all sit down together & get it out. 
The most important thing is to not lie. He will understand and it probably won’t even matter if he finds out your husband isn’t his biological father. After 24 years as a family I’m sure your son knows how much he is loved so it won’t matter. If you must tell him, be honest.
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Don’t lie to him, I can not express this enough… Tell him the whole truth, it may hurt but lieing about any part of this will hurt you all in the long run. Just come clean about everything…
My advice, would be honest if the opportunity presents itself.
Truth hurts sometimes but in the end the truth always comes out.He may not have been created out of love but you did choose your love for him and your husband over abortion.Love is what you’ve shown him for years and love lives on forever along with Spirit.You will get through the TRUTH. In the end he will see he is deeply loved…
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No of you have to tell them truth but those test just say what %of nationality just say and her in thought we were Irish this is interesting
He’s an adult
Tell him the truth
You kept him regardless of what happened to u and just tell him how he is still a blessing
Tell him! Before he finds out somewhere else …
Need to be honest. He’s old enough
He deserves to know the truth. A therapist could help with this.
If you lie and say you cheated what are you going to do when he asks who how father is? He’s 24 and he can handle the truth if that’s what it comes down to. Why don’t you get a DNA test so that you know?
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You need to be honest. Don’t lie because he will resent you for it. Just be honest. He is grown and while it will hurt at first, he will see the love you and his dad have for him regardless of how he came about. My heart is with you mama.
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Always tell the truth , if u lie he will find out some way , some day on his own , the truth now is better than lies , he will understand 
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