.maybe it would be better to find out if he is your husband’s or not if he is nothing needs to be said but if he isn’t than he needs to know the truth.he will be hurt at first but you both chose to keep him and love him no matter how he was brought here
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If the results prove that he’s not your husband’s son you both need to sit him down and tell him the truth. You don’t want your kind hearted boy unknowingly seeking out a rapist!
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Tell him the truth he is a grown man!
Please do not lie to him no matter how much you think it will hurt him. You run a major risk of him hating you and your husband for the rest of his life. If you tell him that and then try to tell him the actual truth afterwards, he won’t believe you.
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While I understand your concern about telling him he is an adult and should the time come where he needs to be told please don’t lie to him. Over come it as a family and reassure him that no matter what his dad will always be the man that has brought him up.
Also consider the possibility that he is more likely to possibly want to meet this other man if u tell him u had an affair. Less likely if you are honest xx
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tell him the truth and say your husband has been his dad
Tell him what you just said…I could feel your pain and your love for him reading this. He will too.
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Tell Him The Truth Before He Get His DNA Test.
Ancestry dna don’t tell who your parents are. That’s a different test.
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You chose to keep your baby and turn a horrible situation into a good one. There is no shame in that. You should ask if you can be with him when he gets the results and tell him before he reads it.
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You need to be completely honest and be there for him to cry on . If you lie the repercussions will be much worse . It will be a weight lifted off your shoulder. You got this mama
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Please don’t lie him.
What if he, God forbid, had to find this person, for health reasons…and the truth came out later, after you had lied to him?
He would be more devastated that you lied to him!
Get the results first but plan ahead just in case
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If it does end up that he’s not your husbands bio son I would tell him the truth. If he finds out you’ve been hiding it from him and then later finds out you lied to him it will only make it worse.
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It will be worse if you lie to him.
He deserves to know the truth no matter how hard it might be
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He needs to know the truth he will start asking question if he hasnt already as somone who was concived from a rape i get it it was hard and im still dealing with it but id rather know the truth and where i come from ( haritage ect) then not know councling will help but if he finds out and you didnt say anything he will fell even more betrayed becase to him you lied to him and broke his trust sit down have a real conversation do family councling if you have to or get a mediator but he has a right to know good luck momma
Never cover up a lie with another lie. He’s grown, just tell him the truth !
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Do not lie to him, if he asks or it comes out, he deserves the truth!
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Tell him just as you told us. The truth.
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The truth!!! Tell the truth!
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Dont lie. Your son needs to know that while the situation is bad he is not genetically bad and has proved to be an amazing person. Tell him why you never wanted to tell him. He will understand. I dont see him getting mad. Have his dad tell him he knew biologically but he knew in his heart he was his.
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Please do not lie. Then he will question everything you ever told him, even your love for him.
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Do not lie because when he finds out the truth (which he inevitably will) he will resent you both. Lying will only make the situation worse, harder to accept and move past.
Explain that the evil act that helped create him does not define him. The more men that are aware and affected by sexual assault, the more men that will not tolerate it.
My thoughts are with you and yours, may it all work out for the best! 
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I normally agree with the “tel the truth” mantra but this one is tough. Zero good can come from him knowing but lying to him isn’t right either. If it were me I would speak with a therapist about the best way to handle it with him. They know the possible ramifications on his mental health a lot more than us.
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Don’t lie. Be honest. If you lie and he finds out you lied, AND finds out that he is not biologically your husbands…that’s 2 reasons to want nothing to do with you.
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He’s old enough to know the truth as much as it hurts! It wasn’t your fault! Most woman couldn’t have carried on with the pregnancy, kiddos to you! Don’t beat yourself up! He will still love and have even more respect if your honest!
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Don’t say anything, just b surprised and go along with it, we never truly know where we came from and have so much other DNA, take it to ur grave
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He deserves to know the truth, if the DNA testing proves your husband is not the father. Do you know the name of the man who assaulted you? If so, then you can be prepared to give him that information.
I believe that you and your husband will always continue to be his parents, in his eyes, and I think he’s old enough now to understand why you would have kept the truth from him. The fact that he’s known friends who have been assaulted would tend to help him be more understanding.
It will be good for him to know his genetics for future healthcare reasons, but it won’t change the fact that you are all family.
It could have gone other ways … you could have had an abortion, or given him up for adoption … but you didn’t. You love your son, and your husband loves your son … and that won’t change. Your son loves you, as well, and I don’t think that will change, either … especially if you are honest with him.
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You don’t know for sure he’s not your husbands? Just wait and see and then tell him everything
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The truth is always best…
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Tell the truth.
Because what if he wants to know his biological father since you “cheated” and keep him from his real dad. That could go way worse
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DO NOT LIE TO HIM!! Be completely honest, tell him the whole truth! He’s 24, he’s a grown man! It may hurt some but, not as bad as finding out you hid this from him his entire life AND lied to him about it!
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Praying for you girl 
Dont lie to him. Amd if he finds out or you tell him that doesnt mean you love him any less and it doesnt make your husband any less of his dad
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Maybe the truth would be better if your husband told him? You shouldn’t have to be made guilty of ‘cheating’ you were a victim. And at The end of the day he has a Dad blood or not. 
hugs!
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Don’t you help destroy your Son. TELL HIM THE TRUTH he will respect you more if you tell the truth
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The truth will set you free!!
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TELL HIM THE TRUTH:heart:
if you guys are as close and loving as it seems he will understand even if it hurts. What’s going to hurt more is that he finds out from the DNA test.
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Don’t lie… please be honest, and just just explain why you kept it from him. He will understand and the relationship between him and his father shouldn’t change. He was man enough to do the right regardless if the baby was his or not. That makes him even more of a man in my eyes.
I see most people saying tell the truth and mostly I agree with that as well BUT you don’t know what it feels like to a child of a woman who was sexually assaulted and they were the product of that and you don’t know how that might affect them. Maybe find a support group and see if you could talk to someone who was conceived this way and get their opinion. If you decide to tell them the truth maybe they can also meet with this person if they need to. Good luck!
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Be honest with him nothing kills a person more then lies you respect your son enough tell him the truth yes it may hurt him but he has a right to know what really happened and you have nothing to be ashamed of by telling him the truth
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Please tell him the truth. So he can also be an amazing guy like your husband is to be there for his friends if they had to fall pregnant and wouldn’t want anyone to know how it happened.
Don’t tell him you cheated he may lose respect for you. he understands assault…
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The truth is always the best. Your husband may not have been the sperm provider, but he has been the Daddy, Dad and Father that your son can be so thankful for. It will hurt and probably make him upset but he will realize that the loving Dad that God provided was the best thing ever!
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Do not lie… Whatever do not lie to him if he asks… You can always do a test as well to see if he’s your husband’s son too. However be cautious make sure he’s in the right mind set at the time as well. That’s very important.
One of my most beloved friends who is about a decade and a half older than me has an adult son who was conceived under similar circumstances. She’s mentioned it to me a few times and she always says “he can never know”. Of course I fully respect this, but I’m also quite certain he does know, I’m certain she knows he knows, and feels the need to completely pretend otherwise, which is totally understandable. She’s one of the people I look to most for wisdom and yet I see the young girl side of her there. This is not an easy thing. You have created a human being and loved him his whole life. I’m sure you hoped you’d never have to deal with this, anyone in the world would, but I’m sure you know you can’t look him in the face and tell lies. It’s scary but you have to trust this person you’ve loved for twenty four years to be able to take it.
As much as it is hurtful and sad, he will appreciate the truth more and will probably make you feel a weight lifted
Tell him the truth, that you were assaulted but your husband chose to be his dad tell him why you did not tell him sooner. Lying about cheating makes you look bad.
Just be honest with him. Your love for your child I why he’s here! You were a young woman taken advantage of and you over came that and had a son to show you that after a storm comes a rainbow. Y’all love him and even if he’s “hurt” or “upset” I’m sure he’ll understand that “My mom really does love me, she’s amazing!”
Prayers hun!
If he ask tell him a father is someone who is there for a child…who loves them…
I may have been assaulted but you are our child
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Tell the truth coz I he finds out later on you lied he won’t forgive you
Tell the truth if it comes up. Seriously. Does the truth not matter anymore. One lie will lead to another lie. And our sins will find you oit
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You tell him the truth … and that the man that raised him is his daddy no matter what … that you both decided that regardless of anything he was his son that he knew what happen you and expected him as his son that you don’t know anything about the other man
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I think it’s definitely going to be hard but honestly is the way I’d go. If he somehow finds out later on that you lied about cheating, that could be worse. I’d sit him down and tell him the truth rather than coming out with a lie to hide the truth.
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Tell him the truth. You should both tell him together. Don’t sugar coat it just be straight to the point. It happened. It’s in the past. Tell him you fully support him wanting to understand his ancestry but that you want to prepare him for what he might find out. Let him know that it changes nothing and that y’all are both there for him as his parents. Sending you some momma strength.
The truth is ALWAYS the best, and It should come from you and your husband.
My Sister did 1 of those tests…she came out Mexican. We’re Native LOL!
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Tell him before someone one else does.
Honey it’s not your fault and being honest with him would be the best ik its going to be the hardest thing u ever done but he will respect u more
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Ancestory uncovers too many secrets:woozy_face:
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Do not lie about this. Predators don’t stop, so it is possible this one is in prison for raping another woman and that would be enough for the son to know the truth. As bad as it will hurt, sit him down with you both and tell him the truth. I can’t imagine how this feels, but my heart is with your family.
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If you do tell the truth tell the real truth, and then you can explain why you never told him, I would let it play out first, you don’t want to open a can of worms if you don’t have to,sending lots of positive vibes
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DO NOT TELL HIM YOU CHEATED:exclamation:
First off, I am so so so sorry that happened to you! Keeping that secret is such a burden.
Second, cheating looks a lot worse than being assaulted. Just let him know how much his dad loves him and it doesn’t matter that they aren’t blood. He stepped up and that’s all that matters. I’m sure he will be upset, but understanding. His dad didn’t care if he was his, he loves you and his little boy no matter the DNA tests and I’m sure your son is old enough to realize this. Even if he is upset you didn’t him.
You and your family are in my prayers. I’m sure you will do the right thing
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the truth will set u free. It"s not ur fault!!
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Be honest. The truth hurts, but a lie will become deceit and you don’t want to live with an ever larger secret.
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I believe always the truth. Compounding a lie would be horrible for him if he ever found out and honestly I don’t think a relationship can bounce back from that. Just my opinion
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Tell him the truth, no matter how hard it is
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My advice would be to absolutely be honest with him. Maybe he already has a feeling which could be why he did the testing. I know that must be a hard to decision mama but I feel he is old enough to know the truth.
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You should tell him the truth and that he was raised with love and very much wanted. He would have been conceived either way, out of love with you and your husband or by the unfortunate circumstance that happened, but either way he was never regretted. His dad is his dad and always has been. The man who did this to you is not his dad, and that’s why it was never brought up. It was never thought of in any other way.
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I would tell him before he finds out. In a way he’ll feel like you lied.
Tell him the truth. Also inform him that this man who has raised knew and still stepped up to be dad. And remind him all the good times he has with his dad and that will never change. Dad will always be dad and love him the same no matter what. But with him being older he may actually take it better than you think. As ling as you all taught him well and support him through this time he will be ok. At the times its hard on him just be there and talk him through it.
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I would go ahead and be honest before the kit tells the truth it would be better coming from you. Nothing to be ashamed of or scared of you didn’t do anything wrong however you did get the greatest blessing from it I’m sure you have been though enough trauma from it already sounds like you have raised a good caring compassionate son good luck momma
He is an adult and should be told. I like the idea of you and husband tell him together. It is his right to know the truth
What if your assaulter is also somehow linked on the DNA testing, and you tell your child you cheated, your child reaches out to your assaulter? Your child will think that there’s a possibility of a relationship if he thinks you cheated, and will resent you for not allowing him to know his biological father. Tell him the truth. Before his DNA results come back. Either way it will break him, but him knowing the real truth will lead to a better outcome than if you lie to him, and then he finds out the real truth and finds out you lied twice.
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Does he have 2 know the circumstances? Maybe just explain his dad is not his bio dad but omit the other details?
Let the truth come from you, lies only cost more lies 
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Lying to him on top of everything would be a bad idea. He’s just better off knowing the truth if it comes down to it. When he realizes that your husband is just as wonderful as your assaulter is horrible, he’ll see that some men are good and he himself is one of them also.
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Honestly those dna things are so vague. If it’s different than yours or your husband, and he knows that, that’s the only way he will be able to tell. Also if you were assaulted are you sure he’s not your husbands child anyways? It seems like there’s a lot of unnecessary fear here. I wouldn’t say you cheated and I would only come out with the truth if he asks you. He can’t blame his mom for keeping something you don’t even know for certain. As long as he’s loved I don’t see the problem.
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Be honest with him. Let him know that he is loved for who he is and he will always be loved.
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Before i say it I do not advise lying tell the truth but if this is not something you can not share… Sperm donation maybe you and the hubby had issues conceiving. I would never lie about him not being your husband’s child because finding out not from you guys would be devastating. But your assault is your business and you do not have to tell your child that. But he has a dad who loves him endlessly and obviously same for momma
I’m dealing with this now my son is 6 although I no my sons dad is the 1 who asulted me but I didn’t think it wud come round so quick wen my boy started asking questions I’ve always vowed I’d tell my boy the truth wen it comes to it. Tell ur kid the truth although u might even have nothing to worry about but ur kid needs truth x
Quit trying to lie about it. Be straight up. You think cheating sounds better 
I will be honest, us kids are resilient and we will take things better than our parents give us credit, with that being said, explain what your husband said “ It doesn’t matter” obviously your husband loves you and his son very much. Blood doesn’t mean anything, the bond does. Don’t lie to him or try and hide or be forth coming and explain that you all have been stronger from what happened and you are a family. Hope this helps. I am speaking from experience.
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Tell him the truth plz. Hes gonna end up hating u finding out otherwise. Honesty here is the BEST policy
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You just Gotta tell him that the DNA don’t matter his father is his father and nothing will ever change that and let him know that you chose to keep him and no one forced you to
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The Ancestry DNA test does not show paternity. It shows your ancestry… where your ancestors lived.
Please do not lie to your son. Tell your son the truth no matter what. Please make sure he understands that what happened to you was/is never his fault. Tell him why you didn’t tell him (you and your husband didn’t think it was an issue, you didn’t want to cause him any pain or stigma, etc) please let your so no matter the circumference of how he came to be your husband and yourself love him unconditionally
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By putting on FB he probably now knows
I don’t have any kids so no experience in this. Buy I’m going to guess that lying to him is never going to be better than the truth no matter how bad the truth is. You didn’t do anything wrong when assaulted so why lie?
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If you tell him you had an affair then he’s going to want to know his real dad’s name and info possibly. Do you want him contacting this monster thinking he’s a good man? Or tell him the truth so he won’t want to even know who he is? I’d say be honest. Lying always comes back to bite you in the a**
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Do not tell another lie to cover the first one…Honesty is always and I mean ALWAYS the best policy.
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I would tell the truth as much as it may hurt him to hear, kids are amazing human beings and as much as it will hurt him, he will handle it and he deserves the truth!
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Tell the truth if you lie he may find out. That would shake his Faith. Don’t give information unless he asked.
Be honest! One lie leads to another and is that honestly what you want for this child you and your husband love so dearly
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I’m not here to give you a smart-ass answer like some before me. I am here to tell you that I am sorry for what you went through then, what you have been going through for 24 years and for what this will put your family through now.
Also don’t lie bc he may resent you for “cheating” and it cause a major gap in your relationship. However I understand how and why you feel this way. I’m sending good vibes and hugs your way. I do think you should be honest on a level to which he will understand depending on his age… but since you mentioned his friends and that he was so ripped apart over it I’m going to guess he is at least a teenager. He MIGHT still want to know his bio fathers information or he might be upset in the moment for not telling him the truth before now. There’s just no way to know how he will react… I will be Praying for you both and your husband as well bc this is prob stirring up some emotions for him as well.
The truth is best. Show him the good that came from the horrible situation.
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The truth is the best option. Always the best. Though a lie may be more “beautiful”, everyone deserves the truth. Have your husband there to remind him he is his father, DNA or not. Anyone can be a biological parent, but a mother or father is who raised you, loved you, was there for you.
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What if then, he asks to meet his father he met through Ancestry. Would you really want him meeting your abuser?