Hats off to your husband for raising that boy knowing there is a chance he is not the father. Remind him that his dad loves him no matter what and thats all that matters in the end. So sorry you had to go through that at such a young age but glad you had your husband
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Sounds like you have a strong relationship with your son. Sit him down and explain the TRUTH. Your family has been living a lie long enough and it’s time. He’s an adult and should know before the results come back. I’m sure there’ll be tears but he deserves to know that he is loved and is not responsible for the actions of others. He will be a stronger, more understanding man for your honesty.
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I wouldn’t necessarily tell him that he’s the product of an assault, especially since his friends were as well. I would tell him that his biological father wasn’t a kind person and you cut off contact but shortly after, found out you were pregnant once you were with your husband. Or something along those lines… he may be able to read between the lines
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Don’t lie to him because if he finds out the truth he may never forgive you. If I were In this position I’d want to know the whole truth no pieces left out. He deserves to know and you deserve a life without holding in this secret from him. Much love to you momma❤
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Tell him the truth… Do not wait for the ancestry kit to come back. Both your husband and you need to sit down and speak to your son together. I believe the part that will hurt your son is knowing that you went through an assault like this. Then he will also see how strong you are and how strong your husband is for sticking together and choosing to have your son and turn that mess into a strong loving family. I think you are beating yourself up for what happened to you so long ago. Do not do that anymore. Now is the time to talk about it with him and your husband. I get the feeling you are still holding that shame or pain from what happened to you but this may be the moment to finally be set free and for your son to know you even more. I do not believe that this situation will turn out negatively unless you keep hiding this from him.
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My daughter was conceived in rape. I was 14 at the time and 15 when she was born. I have NEVER regretted keeping her.
I told her as soon as she was old enough to understand. It will be hard to do, but telling the truth means you are not looking over your shoulder all the time. Better to come from you.
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I would absolutely tell him the truth.
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You said it all in your post, he is loved so the truth will set you free
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I wanna say I’m so sorry for what happened to you and props to you and your husband for raising a good young man. I personally would tell him the truth. Let him know that you and your husband love him so much and you don’t regret him if what happened, is the way he got here. That just because that may be how he got here does not mean he himself is a bad person like his potential biological father. He may be interested in getting a dna test with your husband/dad to know for sure. Take the time as a family to heal, never forget how much you all love each other. You’ve got this mama. Sending you and your family all the love in the world to help you through this right now❤️
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You should tell him the truth. I was fortunate enough that I didn’t get pregnant when I was assaulted. But I know that if it were my mom and dad, I’d want to know. It’s a testimony of strength and I think he will look at you like your a super hero.
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Just tell him the truth. Do not lie to him more. That would only hurt him more than you know.
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That test determines his heritage not paternaty
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Yes you should tell him the truth , my sister did the very same thing by keeping the truth from her son and it has caused deep hurts and failing relationship. The fact that you kept your son and did not abort him is proof of your love for him. Life is not easy but sometimes it all works out
never lie for that is wrong your son will understand if you tell him as you have just told us i know for i found out the wrong way
You need to be honest. You don’t want him to find out second hand then spend his life wondering what else could be hidden. Get a family therapist so everyone can process and heal together, be there for him and supportive
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He is 24, tell him the truth.
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Tell.him.the.truth. now.
Honesty is always best. You could always tell him that it’s eaten you up all this time. And don’t hold back emotions. Be transparent. His dad has raised him and loved him all this time. It doesn’t change anything.
Being as he’s older he will understand the fact that you never wanted him to know but it’s time he did know. And you can all heal together. He’s your biggest fan. He will still be there.
You raised him right if he was hurt that his friends had to endure the same thing. Because he was taught compassion. He will be the one to advocate for those who are too afraid to come forward when attacked.
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Be brave like you were to keep the baby and tell him the truth. As painful as it is he deserves to know. Let him know you will get through it together.
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A lie to cover a lie is not the way to go. Tell him the truth and let him know that he is loved. Lies always comeback to bite you weather done with good intentions or not.
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Tell him the truth. Hes YOUR son, not the spawn of the monster who did that to you. Your husband is his father in every way which counts.
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Truth always ! If he finds out another way it will be worse in the end
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I’d not tell him unless it is definitely the guy that assaulted you is really not his father. Be sure YOU know the truth 1st.
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The rough thing about this is while you don’t owe ANYONE the story of your assault, everyone deserves to know where they come from. If it were me, I’d want him to find out from me and not from a dna test. I’d sit him down and explain to him all of it. The good news is, he is old enough to handle this news. He’s not a kid or teen, but rather an adult. Explain that your husband and you decided that since his dad is still his dad regardless, this doesn’t change anything. But I’d also have a list of resources for him to explore therapy readily available.
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I would of told him the truth long ago u can’t keep secrets like this and think it will never come out
The truth is your best option.
Your son came from love not from assault. The love you and your husband have for each other and for him. You could have had an abortion or allowed your trauma to come between the 2 of you but you didn’t. The 2 of you overcame this horrible obstacle with love. This is what your son came from. If you decide to tell your son about this difficult time in your life be sure to lead with this fact that he was born of love in spite of the circumstance of his conception.
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The truth will set you free. Nothing good ever comes from telling a lie.
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Make sure he knows he is loved by both of you, his FATHER & MOTHER that reared him! That is what really matters. Don’t lie to him. It’s about love, not DNA!
Tell the Truth ,always ,
Be honest. Better he hear it from you before he gets those test results. You and your husband should probably approach it together. Sorry does not make a man a father. His actions do. Your husband is his father. Your rapist was was sperm donor. Nothing more.
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Tell him the truth. It will be painful all around. Family therapy would be probably be really beneficial. But the fact is, the only thing your assailant provided was some DNA. You and your husband are his parents in every other way that matters.
I feel like a white lie to protect him will lead to many questions and many more white lies. Maybe wait for the results and if questions are asked answer them honestly but keeping your cards close to your chest.
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The truth always comes out. Just wait and see what the test shows and go from there.
I dealt with this. A woman who I absolutely adored told me to tell my son the truth. Worst decision I ever made. Only you can decide. Don’t rely on others to help you make that decision. You and Only know how it might impact your son. My son is nearing 50 and still struggles.
Tell the truth because If he ever gets involved with his fathers family he may hear it from them. That will hurt him even more knowing you lied to him.
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He was conceived by assault. He was born from your compassion and you and your husband’s love. You chose you not punish a child for how he was conceived, and not only birthed him, but raised him. He needs to be reminded that he is a good person, despite who his bio is. He was well raised by two loving parents, and that is more important. Tell him the truth if it’s brought up. Another lie would have unintended consequences.
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lying to him only seems like a good idea because you’re assuming he won’t find out the truth… don’t break his trust like that, be honest with him and explain that it’s a hard topic to discuss, that’s why you never told him before, he’s an adult he will understand.
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My son came from me being assaulted and I am afraid of him finding out: Advice?
Don’t lie! That’s the worst thing you could do. As hard as it is just be upfront and honest with him. He deserves honesty. Telling him you cheated puts the blame on you and that’s not right. He will resent you.
Tell him the truth. You and your husband love him and that is all that matters. In the long run, truth always wins.
I would be honest and I would think he would be ecstatic as how your husband raised him as his own and it didn’t matter to him.
Honesty, it will devastate but you need to remind him you are a strong woman with a successful marriage family and life. You survived, make it a story if inspiration,all bad doesn’t keep you down
I think the fact that you never gave him up or aborted him and that his daddy says it doesn’t matter are such true signs of love and should be comforting to him. Please don’t beat yourself up over this! You’ve done everything right.
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Ma’am, you took a horrible moment and turned it into something truly amazing. Just look at him. You have nothing to be ashamed of. Look at what you made!! You did that! You made that amazing soul standing there with nothing but pure love in his heart. I for one applaud you and your exceptional creation. Well done ma’am. You have absolutely nothing to blame yourself for at all, you did great and you are an amazing woman.
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Be 100% honest. If he was raised in a love filled home, the rest shouldn’t matter.
Good luck.
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What a heartbreaking moment. Lies is what got you where you are now. Be honest with him. Start with the bad and then let him know ALL the wonderful things that came out of it.
The honest truth is it doesn’t matter how he came about. He is loved by his “parents” irregardless of what kind of conception.
Stand in your truth, you have a good husband there right beside you. You did nothing wrong. Your son will appreciate knowing the truth and that burden will no longer weigh you down.
This is a tough situation but as always the truth is always best. If he finds out you should be honest. He may looks at you differently if you say you cheated and it may ruin your relationship. Even if you say that and it doesn’t the truth may still come out and he could be angry and hurt that you lied. Either way he is going to be hurt but there is beauty in the truth. His mom is strong and over came a horrible situation, you chose to keep the baby. Your husband chose to love that baby. He will see all that.
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If he finds out just tell him you choice his life over any pain you went thru and what a beautiful life it sounds like he has had 
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Definitely be honest. His life was important no matter how he was made. You have both loved him his whole life despite how he was made.
Be honest. He loves you and is older now to be able to handle hearing some of the really hard truths. He will also know how deeply his father loves him.
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I was in the same situation. When he became 18 I knew I would have to come to terms with life. I made sure that he knew in spite of how, he was the only thing that mattered!!! I would do anything to protect him. He did handle it better than I thought he would. There was a lot of why questions, that I was unable to answer. He was very close to his dad. Which made the bond between the 2 of them even closer (which I didn’t think was possible) I really wish you the best with what ever the decision you make. It will be a Hugh weight lifted from the both of you
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My heart hurts for your situation! You are very brave woman, and much stronger than you know! I feel that you should be as honest as you can, yes it will hurt him but I think somehow the truth always ends up revealing itself and it would be better coming from you both as parents. DNA doesn’t define who his father is, his father is the man who raised him. Hopefully in time he can come to terms with everything. I can’t imagine how hard this must be for you and your husband. My heart goes out to you both! 
Sending good vibes!
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I agree with Karmen well said!! He may be upset for awhile but he shld get over it, you both love him deeply no matter who’s the father, telling him before he founds out that his dad isn’t his dad will help , honesty always .
Of your son is 24, that makes him a man. I think that you and your husband should tell him together. Better coming from the man who has raised him, and you his mama. The truth will hurt for a little while,but it will set you free. His real dad your husband, needs to reaffirm his love and devotion to him. His love through the years should take care of it.
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He sounds like an amazing young man. If his heart hurt over his frie ds being assaulted he will understand. But I wouldn’t lie to him. If he asks tell him the whole truth. Don’t lie, that will hurt him more.
Absolutely tell him the truth. He is an adult. I agree that you and your husband should talk to him about it together.
I wouldn’t volunteer the information unless he tells you his DNA test comes back weird. It tells ethnicity not last names. Just because a person looks one way it doesn’t mean that their DNA won’t show multiple ethnic strains.
Pray and keep your secret for now.
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You gotta give him more credit than that. It will be shocking but he will understand… that’s not something you want your kid to grow up knowing. But he’s still going to love you both. That doesn’t change anything about your relationships past. he will always know where he belongs and who raised him.
From my experience with those dna kits, it tells me where my ancestors are from and the percentages. I had to enter my family members into the family tree and since it doesn’t have their DNA it just assumes the people it goes to until it links with other people who have also taken the test. More than likely he won’t know unless either man has submitted their dna. But in the event he does find out that he may have a different father, be honest. Tell him that you knew there could’ve been a chance but bc of the trauma, you and your husband wanted to believe that he was both of yours and no DNA test will change the fact that he is. The person who assaulted you is irrelevant.
The only advice would be 100% honest. He is worthy of the truth and will understand your reasoning about not having told him when he was young. Truth is best.
Whatever you decide, DO NOT LIE to the boy. He will find out and it will hurt him more than anything you can imagine.
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Be honest. He may be upset for a while but that’s better than eventually finding out you lied to him if you tell him you cheated.
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Tell him let him know that your husband loved enough to have him as his own. Tell him even though you were assaulted you chose to love him instead of abortion or adoption. It is a sad situation but he should be happy that you both loved him enough to keep him considering the situation.
We recently found out with one of those tests that the man who raised my mom is not her bio father. They are all dead and gone so we cannot ask about it. But it became clear when my mom had a lot of matches that her older sister did not have. When the man who was supposed to be her half brother on her father’s side took the test, he matched the older sister, but not my mom. Which could only mean one thing. Someone else is my mom’s dad. If he is curious enough about matches that do not make sense, he will figure it out. It is up to you if you want to wait or tell him before that happens.
I think if I was in your shoes. His dad and you should set him down before the DNA comes back and tell him the truth. You wouldn’t want him to find out that way.
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Honestly is the best policy. He needs to know. Especially if he is curious about his DNA.
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Do not lie to your son!! He should know the truth about where he came from. He is a grown man, so set him down and explain it to him. He has a right to know in case of medical reasons!!
I think lying to him about it would be worse if he does find out through DNA testing that your husband is not his father going to be honest with him let him know that not for one second that either one of you ever think that he wasn’t a blessing to the both of you
Can I ask a question? You stated that neither of you knew who bio dad really was. What if there is nothing to find out?
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Listen, not telling your son is hurting him more than the truth will. You and your husband have loved him from before his birth and he knows that. It’s better to tell the truth than to have him find out through a DNA test that you’ve kept a secret from him all his life. He’s a mature adult now. It’s time he knows. Make sure it comes from both you and your husband.
As hard as it will be, if you can’t tell him the truth about this he will question everything you’ve told him and wonder what else about his life is a lie.
I would ask to be with him when he gets the results. Tell him you’re just so excited about heritage or whatever.
Then, ONLY IF his Dad isn’t his bio dad, I would tell him the whole truth.
If he IS his bio dad, no need to ever tell him what happened to you.
My son took the DNA and the DNA matched him directly next to mine. Did you and your husband take the DNA test on Ancestry? If you both did, he will know.
Honesty is the best policy…you and your husband (his dad for his entire life) chose to have and keep him…that should be good enough for him…if you tell him you cheated he may resent you and want to meet his biological father
The Ancestry test I did was not that detailed it was very generalised. I believe you would all have to be tested and it would be more specific than the one Ancestry does
Don’t lie advise from someone who found out at the age of 50 and the lies hurt the most
This is definitely a hard decision, but don’t tell him you cheated. What if he wants to look up the man you say you cheated with? The whole lie will go downhill. Its better to be 100% honest.
Truth is most important. Only if he questions you.
Don’t lie to him anymore. You don’t have to give a lot of details, but answer his questions with the truth. He will respect you more for it. If he finds that you keep on lying he want trust you anymore. He will understand why you never told him. But when he asked tell the truth.
You were protecting him. He won’t be happy but at least its out.
Do not Lie it makes Everything worse.
Bad mistake to keep that a secret anyways.
The truth will set you free. If he truly loves you he will understand.
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The things us moms are willing to do to keep our children from pain I hope you find an answer just know whatever you decide both you and your husband are amazing
Tell the truth you loved him so much yo give him life even after being assaulted and that your husband loved him so much to be his dad!!
Do not lie to him. If you say you cheated then he will resent you, I would be honest. You are a survivor and a warrior
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I would just start saying stuff like, I herd that’s not accurate, I know so and so and they were so wrong with theirs, stuff like that so it’s not coming from left field if your husband and his family isn’t listed. I wouldn’t sweat it. Remember, it’s Only a big deal… If you make it a Big Deal !!
Just Blow the entire thing off. But WHAT EVER YOU DO, DO NOT TELL HIM THE TRUTH… It Would emotionally kill him
You never fix a lie with another lie. The truth will always prevail.
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Honesty is the best he will appreciate it in the long run!!!
Be honest…the truth hurts but it can save your relationship with him
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Please tell him. From personal experience he needs to know .
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You tell him sometimes beautiful people come from very ugly people 
an give him an explanation to why you’re saying that to him
You just said it what happened to you was a blessing because God sent him to you and you and your husband thank God everyday for him and that y’all love him more than live.
Tell him the truth. Honesty is Allways best.
Talk to therapist who specializes in this type a f trauma.
Be honest, don’t compound the lie. Love is all that matters.
No advice but 
for you and your family.
Be open and honest with your son