Most definitely! She is not the parent and has no say. Inform the scho that she can’t pull him out or the police will be called for kidnapping
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I dont think shes over stepping at all. As long as your son is safe its actually not up to you who does pick up and drop offs. Its the Dads decision who can do these things if your son is in his car.
Step mum did the right thing by giving the parenting agreement to the school. That way the school cannot get themselves into trouble.
When kids are sick, that is a bit tricky. Should be up to mum and dad to co parent through tricky situations.
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She should not be allowed to make that call if she isn’t in the court paperwork. School could get in a lot of heat.
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Fuck her up. Noone comes in between momma bear and her cub. Shes not on the legal documents, shes not married to the guy, and she has absolutely no right to disrespect you like that.
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id immediately talk to the school about them allowing that when they legally can’t. Id also have a good talk with your son’s dad as well.
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Nip this in the bud quick. From a woman that suffered greatly at the hands of a grossly overstepping girlfriend turned wife. Talk with him and then hash it out as a group so their is zero he said she said crap
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Ehhh can’t always blame the gf I have been in this situation before I Married my husband and he has custody and I was to get our son on our days if he was sick or what not , even before we got married and they had the same agreement but the court didn’t see me as a baby sitter since I was his girlfriend of a few years it was still considered his parenting time. And I have gone in and brought paper work in when he needed me too also. I would speak to him first, don’t always assume the worst 
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I don’t think she would do those things randomly. She had to have talked to the dad and got his okay. Nobody is going to be like that doing that much without permission. Talk to your sons father about you feeling uncomfortable about the situation.
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As any attorney will most likely tell you…on a day the he is to be with his dad per the custody agreement, he can choose to do what he wants and you can’t do crap about it. It is his right to choose how to spend his time with his child and it is his right to choose how his child is to be taken care of on his days. As for the school, the school can not and will not enforce a custody agreement or get involved in this type of civil matter. The school will allow anyone to pick up the child with and IF as long as one of the parents permits it.
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If he has him 3 days a week, you don’t have sole custody. You have joint custody with you having primary custody. But yeah, she overstepped big time.
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personally, in my own situation : i ‘allowed’ my EXs girlfriend (once i knew they were serious and they have a child together) to parent when they were with daddy… i mean, if she is treating them like her own and loving them. what is one more person to love a child?? ot takes a village!
i wouldn’t be bitter unless she was a trashy human who endangers my children.
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It’s his time as stated. So it would be him or a person of his choosing to pick the child up.
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If your paperwork says he is to pick the child up " Thursdays after school" then there is nothing you can do about it since it does not specify an exact time and, the father is allowed to send WHOEVER he chooses to pick the child up, again you have no say so. On the other hand, if your paperwork specifies Thursdays at 4:30, then no one has the right to pick the child up BEFORE that time except you. The girlfriend has NO business dealing with the school at all PERIOD! You should have a good long talk with them about that and make sure that they are in no way discussing your child with her.
If you are unhappy with your current order, you can always ask the court for a modification.
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Is it just me that confused? Firstly working in a school with pk children there should be a list of people who are allowed to pick up. No one except the parents are to be given any information regarding the child or allowed to make those calls. If you are the one who signed him up for school or have legal proof of primary custody and specifically state you do not wish for anyone except dad to pick up on those days (Thursday-Friday) this shouldn’t be an issue. This way no one you don’t agree to is allowed to pick up your child without your consent.
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Yep. Notify the school this woman has NO rights to your child. The school legally does not have the right to release a child to a person with no legal custodial rights.
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Yeah she sounds like trouble.
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Uhhh that’s weird. I speak to my stepmom daughter. She should have spoken to you or his dad should have spoken to you.
This girl , GIRL* , would have to be checked … I would say something to the dad , if he doesn’t handle his bitch (excuse my language) then ima just go to her & handle it myself — whether that’s me speaking and we get on the same page — or me having to knock her ass out cus she wanna think this shit is ok! You def should be the ONLY PERSON the school should be calling if the dad can’t be reached or is not able to pick him up. I’m glad the school told you about this though… she is out of pocket & something has got to give .
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No it’s not legal for her to have any say in your sons life at all!!! You go into the school get the principal, vice principal, office manager, teacher and nurse in a room and tell them under no circumstances is anyone but you, father and legal partners allowed to have anything legal to do with your child!!!
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Unless they’re married I would be throwing fire balls and making things clear. 
the nerve of her, also it’d be different as well if she was in contact with you not the one making decisions? 
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No, no, just no. Ew. Why couldn’t she have came to you first? Or dad came to you & asked? NO she’s not on any paperwork period
This is why co-parenting can never be civil. I was this step mom at one point however I never called the school but I did get my step children from school many times and dealt with their bitter mom. And like someone said here… I was the one taking care of them 90% of their dads parenting time. Get along with the woman who will be in your kids life. If she’s a decent person and cares for your child and wants to help their dad and be a good step parent then figure it out and make it clear that she shouldn’t be making decisions or contacting the school. If you have an issue with her picking your child up then settle that now and maybe in the future things will change. In the end your child needs to see civil. Now what she did calling the school and over stepping and trying to be in charge. Not ok. Address it with the dad AND her nicely. No need to be bitter. Communication goes a long way and so does kindness.
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this is situational. depends if the gf has been around for a while or is a new one. thursdays are his day, so he has to deal with the child how he sees fit. if he cannot pick up said child, gf should be ok to do so. again, only if she has been around a while and/or they are living together. she is already stepping into a step mother role. my bds gf has picked up my children from school before. i have also listed her as an authorized pick up person and emergency contact if me and their father cannot be reached. just remember, children know who mom is. nobody can take mom’s place. but if they are not married, she legally cannot pick up said child from school or daycare. unless dad gave consent…
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Talk to him to tell him to get his broad in check before you do it. And then call the school and explain this to them. Explain that if they allow anyone… including this female…to take your child that aren’t you or his father you will be pressing charges against them. That they will be following your custody agreement or you will press charges on them.
And that the next time this female tries to push her ways as a “stepmother 
” to call you… the actual mother to ensure you have authorized it first or … you guessed it… you will press charges against them.
Put yourself foot down momma and check that b***h
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The school needs to be in trouble for letting her speak at all and taking anything from her. It’s their job to keep kids safely their top priority. Learning is second… and as for the father letting this happen imagine living with her 
she apparently bullies and does what she wants so she’s doing it to him. Check her ass and the schools. She needs to be reminded of her place and if dad lets it happen(the letting her watch the kid when your available) it goes against the very papers she tried to use. Making them criminals 
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Bottom line if the MOTHER is NOT comfortable with it, it’s over stepping, they are her kids. they came from her. She has every right to feel a certain way, especially if this is a new situation for them. Best option talk it out and figure out something that’ll work for all of you, step mom can play her role but she has to know boundaries.
1 more person that will love your child. Make her your best friend
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No matter what, her name needs to be on the paperwork and if you dont want her to do it, then you have the right to go to the school and say no way. She is lying and she stepped over the boundary. You can either go along with it or squish it in his tracks. She is not on the custody papers, they are not married and she went about it underhandedly without your knowledge, unless you are ok with it. JMHO
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You need to contact a lawyer, legal advice is free. Good luck.
I think it’s great that she feels comfortable to take on the responsibility. But in saying that, all of you should of had a meeting and sat down like grown adults to work out the new changes. If your not keen on her picking your son up, mayb he could go to after school care. My daughter is in kindy and loves it, that way dad can still pick up when he finishes work. But sounds like the girl friend is trying, mabe went around it the wrong way, but trying… do u have a problem with the girlfriend
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Ok, give me that bitches address…we fighting. She has no fucking right! If the agreement is Thursday at 4:30 then that’s the time that he goes with his dad. I’m not sure what state you’re in but wtf right does that stupid bitch have? It’s between you and your son father!!!
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As a stepmom my hub and his ex both had to agree for me and exs bf to be able to pick up and get info on my bonus daughter. I have other kids in the same school and ex and her bf are also emergency contacts for my kids. But I’m usually the one that gets called if there’s a sick call etc for all 3 kids since I’m a sahm and we live super close to the school. Ex works full time nights and is going to school her bf works nights, and hub works full time.
Maybe it’s time for a sit down with all adults involved (parents/So’s) and talk and make sure everyone is on the same page. She may end up being an asset especially if it’s a serious relationship. It might not be an overnight fix… But it might be worth a try.
Now if there is issues that you didn’t say and there’s a big concern then by all means tell the school that she has no right to do anything.
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Sort it all out amongst you all you dont need Facebook’s opinion .
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He needs to put that bitch on a leash. That is your son not hers and she’s not even his wife! If she was a real woman she would call you and ask you how you would like to handle it if she really wanted to be involved. I’ve been there too many times so I know how you feel and you have every right to be upset
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Might wanna go back to court
That’s bold!! Unless you have had a conversation with her and allow it she should NOT be doing anything if the sort. I would be furious if I were in your position
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Speak to a solicitor
Get over yourself if it’s dads time let her especially if dad has no issue with it you sound selfish the kid ain’t property
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I would speak to the father and just communicate with him. He might have thought that it was okay for her to pick your son up or he didn’t know that she’s gone to the school. Either way talk to the father and come to an agreement with him.
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First off hold that school accountable for this! Secondly sit down and talk with your baby daddy first then plan a day where all of you can talk about her overstepping and how it’s not ok.
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You are petty af get over yourself, how does it affect you that she picks him up? you should be thankful she cares about your kid. Agh typical bitter baby momma
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We have been in your situation, my partner has a little boy with another woman, I would never overstep the mark like that! She is not the mother and it is not her place! This is something that should have been spoken with you first! She is totally out of line and order! You maybe would of been fine with it if it wasn’t done in that way! I always think there is a line that you just don’t cross. If your on good grounds then talk with the dad and come to an agreement but I would make it known the way she has went about it is completely out of order.
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I’d go back to court on that one id also correct it with the school that she is simply your sons fathers girlfriend and has no Authority to make decisions on your son. Also try to have a calm talk with your ex about her over stepping. How long have they been together if u don’t mind me asking
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I think its absolutely discusting that other women are putting shit on her and saying she’s selfish!!! You have no right to make.that judgement and dont even know any of their situation except what shes said, a gf can come and go as quick as they came, shes not being selfish you obviously haven’t been in the same situation!!
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Fuck that hoe, fuck her up when no ones looking lmao jk AND YES I AM JOKING!!! Don’t put under the bus!
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Oh hell to the no would I have that I’d drop kick her ass for doing what she has already done your child is yours not hers I’d have words with the dad too they need putting in their place big time
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It’s about control, If the Dad allows this to continue… I would be very concerned for my child’s safety!!
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I think you need to have a conversation with dad and gf. I’d be upset too. It sounds to me like you were being led to believe one thing and something else was going on. I can see why you’d be upset. YOU should be informed of ALL actions/ plans regarding your son. The school should have contacted you immediately regarding this, they should have looked at the paperwork. They were 100% irresponsible here, this is how bad things happen to children, they should have much better safeguards in place. They should also be responsible and have it in the file ( my kids schools always did / do have listed under contacts, names of oriole allowed to pickup from school. She 110% overstepped her boundaries and the fact that nothing was mentioned to you is BEING A SNEAK. If you are ok with her picking up great, if not this needs to be handled ASAP. She has no legal right to call the school and make ANY arrangements without notifying you, YOU ARE the custodial parent. I would tell them from this point forward, ANY / ALL calls regarding your son and any changes being made YOU need to be called immediately and notified, and I’d would explain why.
It’s his parenting time. If he decides that she is a capable adult who can pick him up that’s his decision during his time. He should be the one who called the school and dropped off the paperwork but it’s not really overstepping.
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Part of this don’t make any since because people can’t just randomly go up to a school and pick up the child and bring paper work unless they on a pick up list or the school is not doing there job also one of the two and I would just talk with the dad and work something out shouldn’t be a big deal if gf picks the child up unless she’s not safe person or something than I could understand why you wouldn’t want her to it’s called work together co parenting put differences aside for child
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Yeah… I’d be in the superintendent’s office asking why the F it was allowed
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That petty as bitch. She has nothing to do with the agreement and she needs to keep her ass out of it. I hate women like her who think she can make up all the decisions when she isn’t even a parent to the child.
School seems to be craving a huge lawsuit. All kinds of violations here that are unacceptable in this current world of school shooters and child trafficking.
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If its on his dads time and his gf can pick him up, why not? And if your ex had to drop in paperwork but was at work, he could have asked her to do it instead?
You need to speak to the Dad, if hes asking her to do these things its not fair dragging her through the mud like that.
Im a stepmum, I dont pick up my stepson from school and bring him back to his dads on his dads time because i cant get there, but if i could, I would and thats not me stepping over any line or anything, thats me helping my partner
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U have primary and sole custody yet ur child is with the father more? Thursday-fri he is with his father? and yes the gf should pick him up if dad cant but it’s not her place to call the school he should have done that… but hes only I in kindergarten, u have a long battle ahead of u, pick ur battles. This one I feel u are being extremely petty!!!
The issue is they are not married and may never be until than no she should have no say
Sounds more like ur jealous of the new leading lady in ur son dad’s life
How about you be an adult and go talk with dad and step mom its not about YOU…if he did get remarried you should all come together for the child stop being childish
I didn’t read in there that there has been any communication between the parents. That’s a red flag. Also if the father is letting his gf disrespect the mother, another red flag, that shit will only get worse. The gf isn’t thinking about the littlle boy. She just wants an upper hand in the situation. I’d sure give her one! The gf could’ve talked to Mom and Offered to pick up the child. That might’ve went better then going directly to the school with paperwork that is none of her business!
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I was once the girlfriend, though later the stepmom, in a similar situation…
I can tell you, without a doubt, that she isn’t doing anything he hasn’t asked her to do or authorized her to do. If you’re feeling like she’s overstepping then:
- have a conversation with him about how you’re feeling. And try not to make him defensive cause that’s not going to get you very far. Ask questions so you can understand what made them believe any of this was the best solution to his schedule conflict. The answer might surprise you.
- I’m pretty sure she’s not doing it from a malicious place. I jumped in to help because it made my significant others life a little easier and it allowed me to get to know his kids. And I wish, looking back, that she and I had gotten to know one another from the beginning (We did later become friends). I never intentionally wanted to make her feel like I was trying to butt in, overstep, or make her feel like I was trying to be more important. Maybe reach out and invite her to the park with you and your son, or out for coffee/something, and try to get to know the person rather then the label “girlfriend”. Getting to know her as a person might put your mind at ease a bit.
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We have something called right of first refusal in our situation. Which means if a parent is at work, the other has the right to keep the kid over a third party, like the girlfriend. Might be something to look into my ex tries to take time from me to give to her and it’s very frustrating.
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Go to school and clearly tell them.that she has no right to pick your son
That should be clear to the school and to her as well
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The girlfriend is out of bounds. The issue of picking up any child from anywhere is the sole decision of the biological parents named in the custody agreement. She had no right to say or do anything and his father should never ever give her verbal permission to do so. Step parents are step parents and their involvement in a child’s life should be only on the basis agreed too by both biological parents or the court.
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Depends how long this girlfriend has been around .if she’s a long
Term girlfriend and your son knows her then I don’t see a problem but if she’s new then she’s way outta line .
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I think it’s over stepping if dad knew the gfs plans and he didn’t say anything to mom. What’s so hard with both of them discussing it with her, maybe if they were up front about it she wouldn’t be so upset. Ik I would be. Just call the school and tell them they are not to release ur son with the gf, and if they do… Go after em. I think also you should confront dad and gf about it.
I really don’t think it’s petty when she’s concerned the gf did all that shit behind her back and it’s not petty she’s worried about who’s picking her son up. She may not know the gf very well and that would worry me too bc if the gf can call the school and hand in their legal paperwork then what else is she capable of. Sure maybe dad and gf thought they were right but they should have been grown ups and talked to mom about it first. I think everyone calling her petty is petty.
And ya know what else, it’s hard for a mom to accept another woman in her child’s life but God damn it we do it and all we ask is for respect especially when it comes to our children, they clearly don’t have any and you have every right in my book to be upset about it. Ok, 3 comments, I’m done. Lol sorry, I went thru this kind of thing plenty of times and the gfs were never pleasant and came riding in like they were mom already… No…
Do you not trust her? Is noone on his side allowed to be alone with your son or just her? How long have they been together? Too many unknowns to answer this but id say, pick your battles. If noone but you or dad is allowed to pick him up then i can see where youre coming from but i truly don’t see why youre upset about the gd picking him up and being with him for 2 hours while waiting for dad. Dad obviously trusts her and is fine with it…
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If it’s his time to have his son he or his girlfriend should pick him up. Honestly. It’s still dads time and of she was truly step mom she needs to help out some even if it’s just picking up the child and watching him/her for an hour or so.
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It saves you gas and he gets that extra time with his son… regardless they are together and its ok…
Have they been together long?
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It seems like you r trying to be difficult.
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Big Nope. If they were married and the father communicated with you about it. Then okay. But, she has no right going to the school.
I would be pissed. It’s a huge safety thing. No one apart from family know where my son goes to school and I would never tell anyone outside of family because you never know how dangerous someone can be.
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I think her way about it was wrong. Thats something that should be discussed with you and the dad and her if you decide to include her. Also, if she isn’t on any of the school paperwork then they shouldn’t be talking with them or releasing him to her until there is written/verbal consent. You definitely need to have a conversation with his dad about how your feeling.
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Unless she is on the contact information with the school and okayed to pick him up she should have been told no by the school. She should have never been able to make arrangements or pick him up. I would be talking with the principal and the dad. This is NOT okay! She could have been anyone!!!
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Not his wife she has no say. Sorry not sorry. She’s stepping out of place here.
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Coming from the gf perspective, since I’m currently in that sort of situation. I’ve been in a relationship for about 2 & a hlf years, & currently we are going through a custody battle with my bf’s ex they have 3 kids together(who I’ve been in their lives for about a year now…be a year on Halloween that I was introducedto them), but I’ve never met her. But anyways, getting off track lol, I don’t think the gf necessarily was trying to push your boundaries or do anything wrong by you by picking your son up from school but probably more so trying to help out the bf as much as possible since it was still his time but unfortunately was stuck at work. Just was trying to find an alternative solution for him to still have time with him before he had to give him to you. Shared parenting time can be really rough sometimes, no matter how much you try to be make it fair. Also if the gf is someone who is most likely going to be in your son’s life permanently you might want to think about forming a cordial relationship with her, maybe you would gain more trust for her. As far as the calling of the school & pretending to be you, that might of been something he told her to do to get them to give your son to her. All I can say is I would have a conversation with both of them to see what was the comprehension behind it.
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Just talk to your ex about it. He may or may not know what’s going on, he may be complaining about things and she’s taking things into her own hands to resolve an issue that may not be communicated to you about time with you vs him and all that. If she does have his permission to do this just ask that he be the one communicates these things with you and/or the school. Or he has no idea, things go back to how it was and he talks to her about what is and isn’t ok to do with your coparent relationship
They sound petty for not talking to you first
But still…
If its the dads time, he can send who he wants to pick up, babysit, whatever for his kid. Theres scenarios where this doesn’t sound good, but we have asked lawyers questions about girlfriends/boyfriends and the answer always is…the other party doesnt really have a legal say.
That being said, if your child doesnt feel comfortable with gf, or you don’t, (maybe she hasnt been around long?) have a talk with dad
Choose your battles, it sounds like this was at your ex’s request considering he gave her accesses to those legal documents. It’s his parenting time so it’s his right to do so 
I have a rule to keep peace while co-parenting. If it’s not my time it’s not my problem (unless dangerous of course) but I don’t concern myself with what happens at dads house. I asked my kids if they had fun, if they behaved and that’s all
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I think if the intentions of the girlfriend are truly to try and help out, then it’s okay… but if she’s doing it just to upset you because she “can” pick him up, there needs to be a conversation between you, his dad AND the girlfriend.
I do know, where my girls go to school, NO ONE other than the individuals listed BY ME, the custodial parent (now full custody can pick up. In order for anyone to pick up my kids, they have to have their ID checked as anyone who has permission already has their ID on file at the school.
If talking amongst yourselves is not doable, contact your lawyer. … and get their advice.
She’s obviously listed on the paperwork to be able to pick up child and make changes. Dad can list her if she’s long term. My kids grandparent’s weren’t able to pick mine up because they weren’t listed. If shes not then the school can be in trouble… Child stays with dad 4 days a week and 3 with you??. Dad works for a few hours so she picks him up? I see np. Her going up there and making changes without you knowing is outta bounds. He probably told her too. My beliefs are as Long as parents are involved kids have only 1 mom and dad. I never had a mom, only a step who was amazing and passed. This here is not the case. Picking him up on dads time is ok, That’s what would happen with a court order. Had this happen with 2 different people and they were told they could send someone to pick their child up. Calling the school without your knowledge is an over step. Im with my childrens father/my husband. If we ever split any gf/bf will mind their P’s and Q’s and no toe stepping however id rather a gf/bf love my kids rather then push them away. If im ever a step, ill respect the mom as long as she respects me and help out as far as i should.
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Oh hell no I’d beat a h** and then knocking babydaddy around for allowing that (if he knew) I’d get ahold of his father and let him know and then go after the school as well as she has no legal grounds for any of that.
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If you want her to love your son & treat him like her own then let her pick him up! If shes going to be in his life why wouldnt you want her putting effort in. Obv she shouldnt be talking to school thats the parents responsibility, but you sound like your the baby mama trying to cause drama. My sons step mom is every bit his mom to & on his dads days if he cant do something then unless they ask me its one of their responsibilities to figure it out. I dont get why you have an issue with her getting him? Has she done something to prove she cant handle him?
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As the wife and stepmom, I have picked up my step daughter several times. I have never made arrangements with the school myself. My husband’s parenting agreement allows for a 3rd party to do the pick ups, but the arrangements are made by either my husband or his ex. Some schools require a copy of the paperwork. She definitely over stepped her bounds. If the parenting time doesn’t start till 430 she can’t change that to 230. That’s something you and your ex need to agree on. Telling the school not to call you if your child is sick is not right. If he’s at work you need to be able to take care of your sick child especiallyif the child needs a dr or er. Since she is not married to your ex and is not listed anywhere on the custody agreement (which the school can now see) you have every right to tell the school not to give your child to her or give any information about your child to her since she can’t be trusted to follow the custody agreement on her own. I know some think it’s petty, but this isn’t ok. Changing custody arrangements need to be done and agreed on by you and your ex, not spontaneously changed by the new girlfriend.
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Umm no not happening. Our school allows for only 2 people to show up to pick my kids up from school, myself and grandma. I’m in pa and have sole custody. In fact if anyone but myself or grandma shows up the school calls the police and treats it as a potential kidnapping. It is because of people like her why our school does not allow anyone but who is listed. Follow the visitation guidelines or take him back to court.
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The real issue is with your ex. That’s just his gf so legally she is not stepmom. If you aren’t able to sit down with him and come up with a new agreement where you and him are comfortable. Then, you need to take this to court.
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Ya the school should not have had anything to say to her whatsoever. Take that up with the attorney to send a letter. Be assured the school will only speak to you or the father. And release the child only to those you have listed.
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Actually until they are legally married she has no right to call the school or pick up ur son. She did over step her bounds. He should of communcated with you to make sure that was ok for her to pick him up since he worked. Also the school is wrong for allowing this.
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Over stepping going to The school yes unless he asked her to drop the paper work off. As for her picking him up on on his days I don’t see an issue as long as it’s the fathers time. Yes you get that extra hour. But why no just let him go right to dads after school gives him so one on one with her if the father is serious about this girl.
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Not sure where you live but you are the primary custodial parent it seems and what she did is actually illegal and could get her and your ex in trouble. Not understanding the reason(s) she would feel the need to take your court orders and arrangements to the school that if needed should have been something that you did. But with that said your ex could have very well gave the permission to do it and say that she was the stepmom when in reality she isn’t but what you need to do is have a parent meeting with her and your ex and lay out some ground rules or this could get awkward and the school could end up calling the wrong parent when in need for your child. Good luck and things will work out as they should.
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It depends on how long they have been dating. If it is dads time I would imagine he gets to decide who picks him up? Also - seems like far has him 50% of the time so how come you have sole custody? Why not 50-50?
Does the girlfriend love your son and take care of him? Why would you be against having an extra person who loves your child? I agree some boundaries have been stepped. But I also think that either you want your kid more often or you don’t. You can’t tell dad he gets 50% custody but then that you can choose who is allowed to be around your son. Seems a little off to me. If he’s not in danger I would talk to his father just about having open communication, and you and your ex need to agree on the new terms and get an updated agreement. but if she is a good influence on your son and a stable and long term girlfriend I would welcome having the extra help
Edit: the dad must have authorized it because I cannot then just allowing the girlfriend to do this. However maybe think of changing your custody to 50-50. Dads deserve just as much say as you do, and he already has your child 50% of the time anyways.
You need to talk to your ex and straighted this out. Let him know how you feel.
The girlfriend and Father should have discussed it with you first instead of involving anyone from the office. If anyone can’t see how blatantly disrespectful & dangerous this action was then they are crazy themselves. If you are the custodial parent you should be aware of any changes immediately. I don’t think this is about pettiness at all on the mom’s side. I’m lucky me and my husband aren’t divorced but if we were I would hope that ANY issues could be resolved peacefully and I don’t believe any step-parents/significant others have the right to interject themselves like that. If she wants to be involved and loves the child that’s great but you need to clear major decisions like transportation with the mother out of respect for the childs mother. What if the school hadn’t checked it out and cleared these decisions & the mother had gone to the school to pick the child up and her child was NOT THERE. Can you imagine the terror? What if they were in an accident???
If you are going to be in the child’s life you have to try and protect the child from these situations. If you want to be involved respecting the mother or father if you are the significant other is paramount and would be in the best interest for all involved if significant others just left the decision to the actual parents.
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With her not having any legal standing as that they are not married then she can’t do this and the school shouldn’t be taking to her at all unless the 2 parents add her to the contact list. If he wants her to pick him up then that’s his choice on his time but legally she shouldn’t be telling the school how things are. That should be his dad doing this. Talk to him and make it clear that she can’t do things at the school until she is on the paper work and that she can’t just add herself.
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I would have a conversation with the Dad
Had the same problem. Simply ask the school if you need to call the authorities for them releasing your son to a stranger. I don’t care if they are married or not. It does not trump your parental rights.
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I have been at both ends. I do think this certain situation should have been talked over with both parties and agreed upon before doing so, with that being said, I do agree that particular situation was over stepped. However, I do believe this should be 50/50 with him getting your son on Thursdays and it should be his decision to whom picks up the child. As I said I have been a step mom before and if the girlfriend/significant other loves your son and is willing to help, I think that’s great! Depending on how long they have been together, this is your sons dads significant other and they are a team and it’s awesome that she wants to help out. Just as if you had a significant other as well. Nothing wrong with that! So many moms does not see the full picture! My husband and I was together for 4 years before we married and we was a team. All 4 of us parents is a team and we co parent and do what is best for our kids! That’s what it is all about! More to love! 
You and your son father need to have a conversation about this… LIKE YESTERDAY
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Many women will say you are being bitter and I will be bashed for what I am about to say…Research parental alienation by proxy…The ‘step mom’ starts picking up the kid from school and next thing you know will be planning parties and events during YOUR time…Parental alienation is real and there are parents that permit their new partner to take the reigns…It seems like the partner is ‘stepping up’ but its tactics to push you out.
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