I’m going to number to keep my thoughts in order.
- If you want to split hairs…dad’s custody time does not start until 430. If she picks him up at 220. They are encroaching on your time. Which means that yes, you have 100% right to refuse your child going to thier house at 220.
- You have the right to first refusal. You 100% have the right to say “no girlfriend cannot watch him”
- You have sole legal custody. You have the right to say she is not allowed to pick him up and the school and her and your ex have to respect that.
- If hes sick or gets hurt on a thursday (still on your parenting time) she has no right to take him to the doctor.
- Personally I actually find her behavior just a little creepy and pushy. Especially lying to be able to convince the school. Shes in all kinds of legal gray areas. But to me it comes accross as creepy.
- First. I’d address the issue with the school. Take all custody paperwork to the school. Explain in very minute details…down to the letter of the custody order. Put her on the “do not pick up do not give info at all list” NOW. Then talk to dad. It’s possible he didnt know…but he needs to. I’d also be questioning her role in your childs life while your child is with them. If he knew then you need to go back to court. And see what options there are to keep her from overstepping bounds anymore.
19 Likes
Get a restraining order because this chick is unbalanced.
9 Likes
As long as she’s not mistreating the child I wouldn’t have a problem after I knew her but If she’s brand new I would have a problem
3 Likes
Does his girlfriend love your son? Aren’t you happy theres an extra person who loves your son?
6 Likes
All these people telling her to be thankful and that she’s overreacting need to step off. First walk into that school with you’re agreement tell them that she has no authority to pick up your son as she is not on the agreement. You’re custodial parent. They are to call you if something is wrong. Also talk to your sons dad about what she pulled and explain that that isn’t allowed. Remind him of the agreement.
17 Likes
Somebody would be getting an ass whooping, if they even thought that they could do that with “my child”… Just sayin!!!
Nope. I’m a stepmom legally and would NEVER cross a boundary like that. Especially as a girlfriend. It should’ve been brought to your attention prior so the details could be worked out together. Asserting herself into the situation like that is not her place.
4 Likes
Nip it in the bud now. Going through some strange things with my husband’s ex right now. If you feel as though they’re breaking the custody order, file contept paperwork.!!
1 Like
Is this woman a nice person who is kind to your child? If she is l would be discussing with both of them how you feel. I see no harm in her picking your daughter up from school provided she lets u know. She may mean well and have no idea how to be a step parent. If she is living with your ex she is more than a girlfriend and may very well be around for many years to come. See if you can take the higher ground and be reasonable first, but l would definatley be advising your ex partner that her talking about you and taking legal paperwork to the school is definitely not appreciated and a huge breech of confidentiality.
4 Likes
Yea you need to notify the school about all of that. Screw her. Who TF she think she is?
1 Like
I’m a mom & a step mom. I can see how you would be upset but you need to take this up with the father.
1 Like
Have a talk with her and your ex. Calmly 
3 Likes
Refer your situation to your lawyer. Obviously new modifications need to be made.
2 Likes
Im a mother an a step parent i feel she definitely over stepped her boundaries when it comes to the child… school business an your guys custody is something you guys should be letting school know of. NOT HER. kinda creepy forsure. But does she have good intentions? Does your son feel ok to be around her?
Nip it in the bud. Bring legal papers to school and have convo with your ex! Current girlfriend needs to stay in her lane!
1 Like
Talk to the father and see what he has to say. If you need to talk to a lawyer and go back to court.
Legally the school should NOT have ever discussed anything with her. I’d be raising hell.
4 Likes
If he’s meant to be in Dad’s care then he’s obviously going to be in the girlfriend’s care too. You can’t stop that. If they’re more than happy to do school pick up on the Thursday and Friday to accommodate your child then embrace it. At least they are willing to change their lives to accommodate your child, some people don’t and expect mothers to still drop everything and do all the hard yards for them
6 Likes
My ex’s girlfriend tried to do that aswell
So I played it back
Sent her a message with a list of both my sons sizes
Shoe size clothes size and all the nessaties they need
And told her if she wants to play the mummy role that include the clothes and shoes … mainly because while at their fathers they were having to wear the step brothers clothes and underwear . pretty quick she stepped down
1 Like
Let’s be adults. Maybe she never dated anyone with kids and she’s just doing what she thinks she should be doing. I was in that spot before, unsure of where i should step up and where i should back off. I’m now step mom to my kids and still finding my way. Maybe you should find a day or evening in a mutual place where you, him, AND his gf can talk about whats ok and what’s not. But honestly, sounds like you are overreacting and she is over the line. Y’all need to talk it out like adults. Don’t be petty and turn this into a fight, it’s not good for the kids. If things don’t get resolved after talking and explaining how you feel, then take the next step.
2 Likes
What big idea is she hurting him dad has him Thursday so what
2 Likes
Chill out and let her be there for your son if its his parenting time… sounds like your causing some unneeded drama.
2 Likes
lawyer up. If I say I’m the one and the dad is the one that is picking up, that’s THE ONLY ones that will be picking up. That said, you best make sure you tell the school this—and tell them to disallow her to pick up.
If my ex was not around I had every right to go get my kids from his partner
As she is not their legal guardian
4 Likes
Does it really matter!?! You sound bitter and looking for any reason to be able to say something. If it matters, then why? If the answer is simply bc “she’s not his mom” then you definitely have a personal problem. Now, if my child is sick and his dad can’t get there and she has pick him up, then cool. She needs to call you to let you stay in the know in case it’s something serious…but then again, that’s what people who actually co-parent do.
11 Likes
talk to dad u never know if he thought it was a better idea, but i’d be raging!
3 Likes
In the family law courts the fathers current partner is irrelevant
I battled FLC for 6 years and won
4 Likes
Idk. When its his time, its his problem.
Step back and let him parent. If you step in and fix it at every turn he wont learn to be a dad.
Be happy someone has stepped up to care for your child as much as you do.
Try to comminucate with them together and not cut her out and you’ll be amamzed at how easy coparenting can be!
9 Likes
Some of you women are bitter 
Why not embrace the fact that he’s being a father and figuring it out and that she wants to an active part in your sons life.
Instead of causing unnecessary drama, how about you get over yourself and try to get along like grown adults for your sons sake
12 Likes
Isn’t that illegal? How can the school release your child to a nonparent? I had to take my stepson to urgent care over the summer and they had to get verbal consent from either his mother or my husband before they’d even see him. I do think there is notging wrong with her picking him up on Thursday’s. She’s stepping up and into a role she doesn’t have to. The rest of the stuff is extra but as far as picking him up, I see no issue
1 Like
Talk to the father I guess, but for me I feel like she needs to earn that role first, not to mention being a sneaky bitch and handling papers that is none of her business… I’d be livid.
Normal custody agreements also say that any competent adult can pick up the child so if it’s dads day HE doesn’t have to be the one to pick him up nor drop him off just as long as it is a responsible adult. Not just mom or dad. Don’t stress about it as long as she treats your son with love and respect and he likes her it seems like you are worrying yourself for nothing.
Besides why would you want your child around a woman who doesn’t care about helping assist with your child?? Relax mama enjoy the benefits of having a good bonus mom around.
4 Likes
Tell the school that she is the girlfriend,that you don’t want her picking your child up if that’s the issue. That should handle that issue. Ask your son’s father if he sent her up to the school with the paper work to give them. Did she take it upon herself to find the documents and take them to the school on her own? Or did he ask her
If dad picks him up then drops him off with her. Then does it matter if she picks him up? If she is caring for yalls child the same and is stepping up to the step parent plate then let her. Talk to dad if it’s that big a deal that you pick him up. Then dad would still be able to do just the same.
4 Likes
Honestly you sound BITTER ! Sit down with her talk & communicate like the ADULT you are supposed to be. It’s his time with his dad, If he gets sick or something they should call him on his court given days. Any other days the school should call you. After they call dad then they should call you to let you know it’s taken care of. You are mad she wants to pick your child up? Pick him up take him home help with homework & feed him??? She will most likely be doing all those things, If she’s able to & WILLING to help out let her.
11 Likes
She has no rights to your child. If the school complys to her then they’re breakimg their rules
4 Likes
Personally I don’t think this is an issue because I wouldn’t let my kid anywhere near anybody if I had issues with my partner or and my ex partner or his partner I wouldn’t let my get near anybody I wasn’t 100% sure
Understand that not every “ Dads girlfriend “ is some horrible person, They are aware of the child & willing to help them let them ? You should be able to call her up if you need help or if you wanna go get coffee or plan a birthday. It doesn’t have to be drama. Co parent peacefully. The child will know he was brought up with parents & step parents who loved him with all their hearts !
12 Likes
Im a mom to 4 plus 1 step son.When me and his dad were dating he was in middle of divorce.Well when we made it known we were serious and our plans were to move in togather I took care of my step son I bought him things like clothes and school stuff and went to doctor appointments.I also would get him from school.I did it because I was going to be spending my life with his father and that included him just like my other kids…Everything that was going to be going on effects everyone invloved.This girl friend may just want to help out because she cares about the son…Ive been in this spot my husbands ex hated it even though I was just helping out it was because of her being jelous.So if someone loves your child and is safe for them to be around and just wants to help out dont get all mad instead be glad that she loves your son and is willing to take her time to help out…Its hard enough on the child so its a good thing that he has another person whos there for him
1 Like
ok so i have mixed opinion. i get it why ur upset but i would say enjoy it. i had a bbydaddy that didnt help with anything. so i think enjoy it. maybe ull find someone and end up having another kid and ull appreciate the help more.
the part were she took the agreement to the school was a bitch move.
i think talk it over with him without her. maybe that will help. 
Women are famous for (like a canine) pissing on their territory! Seems that way to me! Fido should have called mom and chatted with her. I think it would have gone smoother!
2 Likes
You’re going to have to look into the paperwork. Since it’s his time, a lot of paperwork says that he is allowed to have a trustworthy adult with the child (his girlfriend). I would get legal advice, but I think the only thing she over stepped was by calling the daycare and submitting paperwork on your behalf. But the school should have already had that paperwork on file to ensure they don’t talk to the wrong person about the child and gaining consent to release the child to girlfriend by dad.
1 Like
The school should have turned her away. ONLY A WIFE THAT MARRIED THE CHILDS FATHER HAS A RIGHT AND THAT BY COURT. AND YES IT DOES MATTER. TEMPORARY BITCHES NEED TO STAY IN THEIR LANE. YOU ARE NOT BITTER, YOURE A MOTHER WITH HER CHILDS CONCERN. SHE IS NOT A LEGAL GUARDIAN. GO TO THE SCHOOL AND LET THEM KNOW ABOUT THE CUSTODY ORDER. HER NAME AINT ON IT. AND NEXT TIME SHE GOES TO THE SCHOOL, UR CALLING THE POLICE.
Its her child …maybe she wants communication before anything is done …i am trying to understand how is she being bitter? And it doesn’t hurt to be cautious of your child. Have you seen the news? Dad’s girlfriend or wife kills baby …
5 Likes
If the boys father had spoken to the school then fine but his girlfriend had no legal rights and should not be contacting the school to change anything.
4 Likes
If the school released your child to his girlfriend then they can be in trouble. She is no where on those custody papers or is she related. It should be you or your ex-spouse. If the dad can’t be there to get the child then legally he should be picking the child up at the child’s house. His girlfriend would be considered as kidnapping him. Your ex cannot give her permission to pick them up without your consent. I would get that school straighten out and or contact your lawyer. There’s too many kids abused by boyfriends/girlfriends. Not saying that is or would happen but it has before by both genders. If your ex is not going to be with the child the whole time he has them then he needs to wait for when he can. If he and his girlfriend are serious and she will be constantly in your child’s life then the three of you adults need to get on board and make a plan but she had no business go up to the child’s school. She broke the HIPPA LAW also by releasing personal information to the school. No one should be picking up your child but you unless you ok with the school for your ex and only him to pick them up.
3 Likes
She’s DEFINITELY overstepping. I’d notify the school that in no way is she a parent or legal guardian and she has no right to dictate anything. That should your child be released to her without you being notified that you will be taking any actions you can against the school as YOU are the primary parent. Then I’d be talking to him and checking her;she is NOT the mom and they are NOT married.
1 Like
I had to get permission from either parent to pick my stepson up from school after about a year they knew who I was but id still have my husband call and tell them that I was picking him up. She can not tell the school what to do when she is not a parent
Sounds like u need to start u a new tribe … I like to call it slapahoe
5 Likes
Yes she has no legal rights at all
2 Likes
With all the child abuse and neglect going on why would anyone want a mere girlfriend to be solely looking after ur sick child till the father comes home. She has no parental responsibility and u need to go back to court if ur sons circumstances have changed.
2 Likes
Sorry call me petty but my sons dad girlfriend won’t be in my sons like till they are married 
none of his relationships have last over a year and I won’t let my son have all these different women in his life, and yes same goes for me and who is in my life, until his dad is okay with him meeting my son then it will happen.
1 Like
Okay looking at all of this from a legal perspective. One the school should have a copy of the current legal custodial agreement in their file to precisely avoid situations like this. Secondly if the Stepmom is not on his emergency contact form listed as one of your son’s emergency contact SHE the Stepmom cannot legally pick him up from school. Especially because she is just a girlfriend she is not your ex’s wife and she is not a blood relative.
I would go to your son school and make sure they have current paperwork about the custodial agreement between you and your ex and I would also ask to see the emergency contact list form on file for your son. That way you can verify if stepmom is on the emergency contact form because if she is that would be how she’s picking your son up. Once you do that and you find out what’s going on through the school in person then you can approach your son’s father about it and state your boundaries I’m come up with a fitting solution for the both of you on the benefit of your son. Maybe suggest dropping off your son at your ex’s or dad picking up your son at a time that dad will be home.
Stepmom does not have the authority to say if he is sick on Thursdays because that means she plans on not taking him to school or keeping him out of school which is not okay and you need to speak to your son’s father about what is going on on Thursdays that she said that if the sun happens to be sick on Thursdays to not contact you. That is not her place to make that decision and if her and the dad are making decisions they need to definitely include you and not leave you out of it. Yes it is Dad’s time but they definitely need to keep you in the loop.
3 Likes
I dont see why it would be an issue for her to pick him up from school. Ive picked my step kids up from school numerous times. However the way she went about it i 100% disagree with. That should have been a conversation with you not the school.
5 Likes
I would pick up your son and tail her if she picks up your son from school and was told not to .tail her you will call the cops and have her arrested for kidnapping and then tell the your son’s dad what you did
1 Like
I am the step parent in the situation but I got permission from dad and he notified any schools or medical offices. mom doesn’t like it but she’s never present for teacher meetings and loves to reschedule appts to not go… my 12 yr old (+1)catches 2 buses and a train with my 9 yr old (+1)to get to there moms (she has a car) things like this worry dad and I so I take it upon myself.I love my step babies it’s my job too plus I’m a mom of 2 and I love being a mom of a big family! Some step parents are blessings! In your situation just let her know her place that you are not absent parent and would like to pick your son up until dads out of work discuss it with both of them(him first)
2 Likes
Normally I would say that since it’s his dads time his girlfriend should be able to pick him up. But because of the actual custody and agreements obviously that’s not the case. Is it her that’s overstepping or is it him that’s pushing her to do it? Obviously you need to have a talk with him.
2 Likes
She needs to butt out she’s the only his girlfriend
2 Likes
She should have asked you first she hasn’t got the right to do that
2 Likes
Why is the school allowing her to have any kind of say, and speak for him? He should have talked the school, and you. For all they know this woman could not be who she says she is, they need a legal guardian for pickup no? Or atleast a legal guardian to say hey so and so can pick him up? This is bullshit if you ask me.
His gf has no legal rights but at the same time chill out.
Simmer down. You are the one overstepping. It is their schedualed time.
3 Likes
But she shouldn’t have called and has no authority bc they could break up tom.
I don’t think youre overreacting at all. Not her child and she’s not his wife. She could have had a conversation with you like a grown up instead of taking drama to your child’s school and making herself look like a total ass. The 2 of you probably would have come to an understanding if she had thought it through. She also has no right to access your childs records. She went about it way wrong and I’d be pissed too personally.
If this is how you react when she’s a girlfriend I can’t imagine how you will act when they marry !. I sense a lot of jealousy issues. Get over it and be glad he is safe. Happy and with a person who wants to get to know him and spend time with him . I know alot lf girlfriend’s and step moms that want nothing to do with the other half kids
7 Likes
That’s a lot, it’s hard to except “step parent “ sharing our child with another woman, hurts, set your feelings aside and give him your time, that’s your time and let his dad have his, make your relationship strong as his mom so he knows he has you to turn to, my kids dad GF always started out great and then BOOM… bitch but they knew who they could run to and still do
This sounds like a problem that could’ve been solved by having a conversation with your child’s father, or if need be your attorney, and not a bunch of random people on Facebook. If you feel the custody agreement is violated then go to court. If he hasn’t violated the agreement, then get over it. If you feel like the school broke normal procedure then deal with it. The hardest part of co-parenting is learning to pick your battles and deal with things logically rather than emotionally.
1 Like
You need to make sure she isnt on the list of people allowed to pick up kids and they need to call you and authorize it anytime she tries to pick him up. And your school shouldn’t even listen to her.
5 Likes
I just want to see what happens when all these people saying this mom is bitter reacts when someone without the authority picks up their kid from school by waving someone else’s custody papers in the schools face 
25 Likes
I could see if she was the ‘wife’ to your ex but just the girlfriend…no way!!! If he can’t pick him up then you should be the one picking him up and then arrange to meet after he gets home from work so he can still get him on his scheduled days… also I’d call the school and make it very clear that your child is not to leave with her unless approved by BOTH you and dad…
4 Likes
I think you’re overreacting. My child’s father has a gf and she’s involved a lot. I feel like you definitely need to pick your battles.
2 Likes
I personally don’t think you overreacting if she was a wife maybe but she a girlfriend she has no standing she defend shouldn’t be calling the school on his behalf
And honestly and you need to let the school know who has authority you and his dad , I’d she would of even ask first but who is she to taken it upon herself , if he get sick on school and it dad day and he can’t get him then you would be next in line this crazy to think ppl think you’re overreacting I would be pissed
3 Likes
Since they aren’t married she has no legal right to pick him up. I would also let the school know specifically not to let her pick him up. Just you or his father
I personally don’t think your overacting. She should’ve still came to you or the father should’ve have let you know that instead of him picking up the child it would be her. But also depends to on how long they’ve been together. If it’s been awhile then I would be okay with it but if it’s a recent girlfriend then definitely not. Either way should’ve been discussed with you beforehand. Not her overstepping and going up. And especially not taking custody papers up there.
12 Likes
I’m both in this situation. I am the parent and the step parent…
I pick my step daughter up from school, along with my own, EVERY day…
Because her mother wants it that way so ahe can work…
For me it would depend on the situation… How long she’s been around, what my child says about her ext ext.
However my x has a bad habbit with encouraging my kids to call a girlfriend( who’s only been around a month or 2) “mom” then bw a F up and get dumped. Then my kids have to deal with it 
2 Likes
I don’t think ur overreacting at all, ppl who say that have probably never been in that position so don’t fully understand . She’s definitely overstepping the mark. Speak to dad to speak to her if nothing changes perhaps seek legal advice she has no legal rights sounds to me like she’s a control freak and trying to make u look and feel bad . Also speak to the school remind them who the parents are. Can’t just be any tom dick or Harry barking orders about ur child. Good luck 
2 Likes
Yeah, go back to court and make sure it’s you or your sons father who will be picking your son up from school. The girlfriend should have nothing to do with your child (when it comes to school), until she becomes a legal step parent. She seems psychotic and that is not safe for your child… and the school should have legalities in place to handle matters like this.
1 Like
If your ex, your son’s father gave her permission to do this, it’s ok. What’s the big deal. My ex’s GF would pick mine up for him if he was busy. Y’all need to get along for the child’s sake and leave your personal feelings aside.
7 Likes
I think she overstepped by not speaking with you before she went to the school. The child’s father and his gf should’ve discussed this with you.
If I was in this situation I would be livid that she as as adult in my child’s life wouldn’t take the time to discuss this arrangement, Then together as his mom and “stepmom” could make the best choice for everyone.
Going above you and contacting the school was a bit much. I would be upset with that.
I am a step mom, Have been for six years now, I pick my step child up from school when her mother and father and I all are on the same page. And same goes for my biological daughter, Her step mom has never picked her up from school, But has taken her to school AFTER we’ve all discussed it and worked out a plan.
3 Likes
No she has no writes and you have every reason to be up set, the father should have rung you and asked if this would be alright. Stick to your guns, and ring him and suggest you talk about these situations first and that this would be a good parenting.
1 Like
She is definitely overstepping. I am not petty in the least. I am real. The school should never ever, ever allow her to pick up your child. Everything is fine and good right now , but how does the school know that maybe she and the child’s father are not estranged and she is taking the child to get back at you or the father? The rules that schools have are put in place to prevent such a thing.
3 Likes
She is the GIRLFRIEND why do people think the girlfriend title is just the same as a wife??? She has NO authority amd if she cant go to dad and set up pick up with dad and mom she is doing this to stir drama. Seems the one in the wrong is the girlfriend. So mom I suggest you go to the school give a stern talking to and establish ONLY DAD OR YOU SHOULD BE CONTACTED OR EVEN ALLOWED TO MAKE CHANGES she has no right!
2 Likes
Not her place. It would have been different if it was him calling. I would call the school and instruct them accordingly. And I would speak to him as well.
1 Like
Yeah no, just a girlfriend trying to be controlling and get you pissed and to make you look bad to the dad. It’s very manipulative. Watch out looks like you may be in battle
3 Likes
That bitch sounds like a total nut bag who is involving herself wayyyy too much in you and your child’s fathers business. Shut her down quick before she tries more. Some people are not well in the head and sounds like she’s one of them.
If she is over stepping take whatever legal paperwork you have to the school and have them copy it so they have it on file.
Listen there isn’t no one making decisions for my child other then me and her father, all you saying she’s over reacting. No if someone was trying to undermine your parental rights you would not be saying the same thing. That’s her son her choice, same goes with the father! She needs to stay in her lane!!
4 Likes
Oh hell no. No one has the right to just barge into the school like that with custody papers when she’s not even a part of it . But I do think you and dad need to communicate a little better. Make sure he knows she is not in charge
2 Likes
Why would you ask a bunch of strangers instead of a lawyer?
1 Like
And put the school in their place, she has nothing to do with it
2 Likes
You do NOT have sole custody. If dad has any visitation, that’s not sole custody. Dad can appoint whoever he wants to babysit or care for the child when it’s his legal custody time.
3 Likes
At first I was like ok she’s picking him up 2days & watching him for 2hr. No big deal. However she way over stepped! I would go to the school & school district. What she did is illegal! I would make it where she never pick up or be at any school function of your child!
3 Likes
I sure hope the school did not agree to that
1 Like
The fact shes a girlfriend and is trying to go to the school to change things or even calling the school… Yeah thats an issue and id be bringing it up to my lawyer… Id tell the school no changes are to be made unless You authorize it… That they are not to release him to anyone except you or the father etc… Over her picking him up on thursdays i wouldnt normally flip as long as i knew her etc. But the fact she wanted to go that route OHHHH HELL NO
5 Likes
Shes overstepping like a bitch. Id be pissed and call baby daddy out. Plus the school should NEVER let someone else even think they have right to pick up the kid unless its signed by a legal parent. Any joe shmoe can go in there and be like “yeah im so and so here to pick up the kid”? Wth
Way to air dirty laundry online! Honestly just talk to your child’s father. He may have asked her to do it. Trying to dictate his household seems like a jealousy problem on your part. My girlfriend/ now wife picked up my daughter from her mom most of the time due to scheduling issues between our jobs. However we discussed it before hand and worked it all out. Communication is key to the whole co parenting thing.
5 Likes
Def speak to the office and let them know that if they had read the paperwork she brought in pertaining to you and your sons fathers custody they would see that you are solely responsible for all your sons educational, medical, moral and emotional decisions. The father is lucky he’s even included but the gf for sure has zero rights. Let them know your son is not to ever leave with her. If his father is working still when he is done school then he can pick him up from your house and you’re right on point for saying you will pick him up from school. His visitation/custody schedule is just that - HIS…not his girlfriend’s. If he cannot adjust his schedule to pick your son up at 2:20 then he can pick him up from your house. Especially if he has zero say in any legal custody there’s no way anyone is going to allow the girlfriend to be responsible for your son. If he is sick the father shouldn’t even be getting called because that’s a medical decision and that’s 100% your responsibility alone.
2 Likes
Def speak to the office and let them know that if they had read the paperwork she brought in pertaining to you and your sons fathers custody they would see that you are solely responsible for all your sons educational, medical, moral and emotional
