It shouldn’t even be a question if she is a girlfriend she has no legal right to your son to the documents or to put her nose in the school’s business. If you ask her for help that’s another thing but she has no custodial rights
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School shouldn’t be honoring this unless it’s coming from the PARENT. She has no legal rights to do so. In our district if the person isn’t listed with a copy of their ID on the school paperwork, they don’t get to pick up the child. Period.
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I would flip my bitch switch so fast!! You have legal custody you control the paperwork. I’d remove her from all paperwork also.
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Need more back story such as how long has the girlfriend been involved with dad? Do they live together? How involved is she in the son’s life? What does the modification entails because if it modifies a section that voids sections of the first agreement the first agreement can’t still stand. The modification will take its place. The title girlfriend doesn’t mean that she’s not involved or can’t be . Wives are not only ones who help take care of someone else’s child. Was the father aware of what happened? Is he okay with what happened? Did you make it clear to dad your expectations involving said girlfriend? Everybody ready to say oh hell no but with the missing context how can you give the best advice?
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Girlfriend are not step parents they are not married she shouldn’t be picking up anyone hell my mom had to guardian ship of granddaughter and the papers only allowed me aunty or my mother to get her from school
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Nope! You better check her!
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If a child needs picking up because they are ill then surely mum or dad should go?!
“Stepmom” shouldn’t be calling anyone behaving in an official capacity unless she has parental responsibility?
The way I see it mum isn’t saying girlfriend can’t be there for contact, or be a part of their lives.
Just in an emergency the parents should be called.
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Legally, the school should not even be communicating with her in the first place. That is a big no no. It would be one thing if she actually was his step mom but she’s not. You need to address that with the school. Now if y’all can all get along and you can let go a little bit at some point and she’s doing right by your son, then I’d say use her as a resource, but all three of you need to have a common understanding of what is and isn’t acceptable. As far as the school goes though, they should know better, they should have let her know that she has no business calling them.
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Absolutely. Also she cannot act on his behalf as she is not listed on the legal documentation. Girlfriends do not have legal rights to children that are not legally theirs.
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Yes ,this chick is jus making life difficult for u,because she thinks she can
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Yeah I think the schools at fault. Im legally married to my husband and our first daughters mother has never raised her or has custody obviously but even as a step mom, until I adopt her they don’t wanna deal with me which I obviously have issues with cause I take care of the kids 100% of the time, but any enrollments to new schools and stuff they only wanna talk to my husband until he tells them I handle all the paper work. Cause he misses things and I need the correct
But yeah they shouldnt have allowed her to receive any information especially since yall are both present. My child’s mother is non existent and I still have issues 
I have issues even with the fact both of them are in the same school and they always ask for her dad, i can do everything with my biological child but not my step daughter even when the paper work is the same on both of them
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Well, I tend to be irritated by this but my husband’s ex gf let me come to “back to school nights”, pick the kids up, and drop them off. It’s what was best for the kids. Even before we were married. It was hard for her and she made that clear but she was driving herself crazy because there was nothing she could do. My step kids and I were close even before we were married. She has no right to speak on your relationship with the father but he’s moved on and if she treats your son kind… you’re just putting your son in an awkward position to dislike the girlfriend
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You’re still in love with dad because when you’re not that doesn’t matter…I’m a bonus mom so I know!
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No shes in the right. His parenting time is theirs. You dont get to change ge it becuse you dont like it
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If you have sole custody…then if he PERSONALLY cant get your child then it should revert back to you.
Theyre not married…and she is not a parent nor step parent.
If u had joint custody i would say thats different.
But it says in your paperwork that its him or you.
She has no jurisdiction here and you need to march your ass down to that school and show them the paperwork that says you have sole.
However…
Co parenting is important.
And if you want your child to feel secure in his families , youre gonna have to learn to get along with her and work with her for your child.
Depending on how long shes been around of course.
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Oh most def. Nopes. She’s not in the paperwork.
Go to the school and explain the true story ASAP!! Custody agreements can be tricky in a school setting. But ultimately, I’m pretty sure that if you don’t have her down as an authorized pick up person, she can’t pick him up. Discuss with your child’s father why the original arrangement worked, and how the way she is trying to change it is having a negative effect.
That is his time, He gets to make arrangements and decisions during that time just as you would if you needed help during your time. If you needed someone to pick up your child for you because of work or any reason you wouldn’t ask his permission. It makes absolutely no sense for you to pick him up for two hours. The transition from school to other parents home is the easiest on children. Think about the situation in reverse? Why would you make things more difficult on your child because you don’t want his girlfriend involved? Sorry dear that’s not your choice it’s dads.
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When you take yourself out of this equation and do what’s best for your child it wouldn’t matter who gets him on Thursday…especially since Thursday is with dad🤷🏿♀️
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You want your child to have a good relationship with dad and who dad chooses to have in his life. At least she is pushing for time with with your son and not pushing the child away. If it’s his visiting time with his son it would pry be nice for him to just be able to go straight home to his son.
I have been on both sides of this. And I learned the hard way.
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Is she on the list to pick up you’re son thats what I would be worried about
MY daughter went through the same thing. It was always something with the dads Gf. DO NOT LET HER OVERSTEP. if she isnt part of the plan she shouldnt be watching him PERIOD.
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If it states that you are each other first babysitter than you should have him when dads at work.
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Dad is letting the gf over step as well. Especially when mom is thinking she’s picking up her own child from school but miss thing wants to interfere. When it comes to school, daycare, doctors appointments. You let mom and dad handle that unless discussed. If not home girl needs to not stick her nose where it doesn’t belong. You want to be step mom so bad at least communicate with the mother yourself. Communication helps raise children when in two separate household. One parent can’t be making important decisions as such without talking to the other parent. Custodial Parent or Non Custodial.
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Dads time is dads time. My advice is not to start WW3 and get to know the lady who is helping to raise your child.
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LOL
Girlfriend is overstepping based off of the information provided. Mother has SOLE custody and there is a parent time agreement in place. Parenting agreement and custody are separate things however. Girlfriend does not have any right to make changes with the childs school paperwork period. Married to the guy or not. (LOL at girlfriends calling their bfs husband, to try to feel less temporary) custody agreement or not. If the mother does indeed have sole custody and the girlfriend is not on that schools paperwork, she AND the school could get into very serious trouble. Always keep copies of your original school registration and edited forms and custody/parent agreement amendments btw! Much 
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Contact the school immediately.
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Definitely over stepping on the part where shes calling the school. Its an easy fix though just call the school explain that she is not “step-mom” and does not have permission to be picking up your son unless accompanied by your childs dad.
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So you’re mad that she’s stepping up to help?
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First talk to the dad… I did this with my step children for a separate reason she wanted to take them out of school and move without telling him so I made sure they knew the court order and needed his written consent first… I picked the kids up on his time because it was his time… and I was perfectly capable of taking care of them… i feel it’s a control issue on your end a disrespectful on hers… she should have talked to you first… or had the dad talk to you… i have been commenting now for 10 years… it is still a struggle… i also feel it depends how serious they are… how long has she been around your child. Is the child comfortable with being alone with her… things like that… I learned to pick my battles carefully… and kindness is always better… even when you are mad… I know when I was sweet as pie to her she felt she had to be nice to me… and I also know it killed her… 
you seem like a great mom where my situation not so much… good luck
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The school shouldn’t have even spoke to her, they are in the wrong for that. Honestly until she’s legally his stepmother I’d tell her to kick rocks.
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If it continues…go back to court for CONTEMPT OF COURT. Because he isnt following the papers and hes allowing the GF to do this.
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Girlfriends have no rights!! I as a stepparent couldnt even do certain things w my stepdaughter including school and doctors visits without my husbands permission in writing and we were married! And u ppl saying girlfriend has rights are WRONG!! My husbands ex went through boyfriends like she changed her underwear and they had no rights to say what happened w srepdaughter either! U ppl need to brush up on the law
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Umm, I have a different opinion on this. I’m the girlfriend and I do have a child of my own along with my boyfriends daughter. And he gets her every other week. But see I’m on decent terms with the BM. I pick her up from school on our weeks, or I get the call if she is sick usually on our weeks. Not an issue.
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She has zero say in what happens at school. As the custodial parent, please go back to the school and update his pickup list to YOU and only YOU. Dads parenting time, per your original order, starts at 4:30. So his time doesn’t start until then, therefore you have him until that time when HE picks him up. His girlfriend is irrelevant.
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I’m having issues with my ex new gf telling people she’s my kids mom 
they don’t even live in the same house, it’s makes his gf sound mentally unstable to pretend that and not stepmother but saying mother
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If she’s not on the emergency card she can’t get him anyhow. Deep breaths and have an adult conversation with her and dad. If she can help out cool. If she loves your son, even better. Another female is a tough pill to swallow but it’s best to get to know her especially if she is in your child’s life. Dad should do the same for any man that is or may come into your life
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You should have the first right of refusal
Research the Right of First Refusal in your state.
Whomever has parenting time with child has say on whom can pick up child or drop off child. As long as one of two parents give consent, it dont matter what the other thinks.
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You can put her on a black list, meaning she is not allowed to pick your son up from school. Set it up with the school. I would be outraged
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Remember that the GF could one day be the wife. Or one day be the mother of your child’s sibling. How you treat the coparenting situation now will play into things years down the road (if it makes it that far, but never say never).
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Fuck that. I’d tell her right where to shove it and to stop trying to be your kids mom. I wouldnt let any other bitch pick up my kids. Girl friend or not.
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That’s a big no! The school is in the wrong. They should not be discussing anything regarding your child with anyone unless you have given them permission and it’s in file. The only person that should be allowed to pick up your child is whomever is listed on the emergency contact form. Especially if she doesn’t have legal documentation showing that she is “stepmom”. I have full residential of my 5 and their teachers wouldn’t ever discuss anything with their stepmom without consulting with me first!
From personal experience, have a conversation with her about what you feel. Be honest and talk it out like adults. Makes it better for everyone involved including the child. So that the child is never put in a position to decide.
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Yes you should she needs to back off
If girlfriend is not on emergency card for contact school faces major lawsuit.
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I would keep that shit under wraps as tight as possible. Co parenting is the hardest thing you’ll ever have to do. But she needs to be put in her place sooner rather than later
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Without permission she is crossing lines. If she is not on the school paperwork, then the school is very much in the wrong here. I don’t know how much is known about this woman, how long she’s been around, If she can be trusted, etc., so I can’t express much more than that. However; if she is a trustworthy woman who does genuinely care for your son, then it may not be a bad idea to allow her to be involved. Either way, do not let her overstep her boundaries and put herself in places she shouldn’t be. The law is being broken by her and the school being in communication with one another. This is reason enough to raise hell!
Try that first. He may be reasonable.
How long has the gf been in the dad’s life? It has been just a few weeks/months, then absolutely yes, she is overstepping. But if she has been his gf for the last 5 years then I don’t see a problem.
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If you all dont get along then my suggestion is go by the paperwork and call it a day.
The school shouldnt even be talking to her. Shes not even a step parent. My husband had to turn in the court order proving he had full custody, and had to fill out forms giving them permission to talk to me, so I can pick him up (when he went to physical school), for me to have access to his grades and virtual school stuff, to go get his lunch etc
I’d talk to dad n tell him that shes over stepping. He needs to handle that on his end and you talk to the school.
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Only thing she over stepped with is taking the paperwork up there. As far as calling how do you know your baby daddy didn’t tell her to call? How do you know they both weren’t on the phone ? Also take it up with the school for allowing this, that’s a HUGE red flag for safety protocol.
As far as picking up your child his dad is still getting him that day, she’s making life easier for him by picking him up from school it’s not that big of a deal, especially if he’s not in harms way with her. Really does seem like you’re a little jealous that he’s moved and honestly be happy that he has a partner that’s willing to love your child as your own and be happy to step up!
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The school and courts should be informed of the breachbbn of agreement while you talk to the Dad and try to have him understand that the girlfriend is out of order.
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OH HELL NO!!! That is definitely crossing the line!
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If she is an emergency contact, and dad signed an OK that she’s allowed to do so. If not, then heck no! Talk to dad and see if she’s a contact. The school shouldn’t release your son to her unless she is and has dads written permission for it
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A girlfriend has no legal rights back off I’d tell her or go back in for a round of specific custody n visitation rights !! How would he feel if it was you n a boyfriend randomly picking up child n making decisions ? Time to get father out for you n him only discussion then if not agreeable go back to legal make things perfectly clear !! n
The school should not have allowed her to do anything without your permission. She is not on the court agreement and not a legal guardian of the child. End of. The school is in the wrong for entertaining her. I would try and come to an agreement and clear the boundaries on who does what
Sometimes co parenting is easier then fighting unless there is a true reason behind it. Let’s get along people 2020 has already been hard enough sounds alittle petty to me
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Let the school know that she has no rights nor permission to sign paperwork, remove child from school or make any arrangements on the parents behalf. (I have the stepmom banned from property)
I would have thought she would have messaged /talked to you first ! The school has a duty of care and I’d be saying I must be consulted with any changes that is being made with the other parent.
I’d talk to her and tell her how you feel , it’s nice she is trying to help out . Perhaps she just went about it the wrong way. 
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Until she is is the step mom, she is just the girlfriend. Period. Talk to him. Be as respectful as possible. Communicate. Remember, this is about making things easy on the child. Leave emotions off the table. You need to be respected just as much as the dad. As of now, until voqs are said, this is between y’all.
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How long have they been together? Cause if she has been around for a long time I can see the dad having her pick up for him.
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She is not hurting that baby. U just jealous. She is in a relationship with the father. She is going to have a relationship with your child. Leave her alone
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WTF!?!? You seem to calm as for me I would be all in her face!! Who does she think she is by doing what she is doing?? That is your child and for the school if they think they can listen to her that is a BIGG lawsuit on them if they are listening to her and not you!! I’m sorry but you need to tell her something bc then she thinks she can do whatever she wants and she will make it worse for you and make you look bad. I am a girlfriend and there is no way I would step in like that to my boyfriend’s kids. Unless they asked me to help or I would let her know that I could help if needed. Don’t keep your mouth shut about this and for her to take your info to the school that is a BIGGER HELLLLLL NOOOOO!! I’m thinking what the school is saying about all of y’all. Putting your business out like that!!
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If she’s not on the pick up list from school THEN I’D BE RAISING HELL WITH THE SCHOOL! Totally unacceptable, and dangerous!!!
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I wouldn’t be very happy about it… The gf went over your head a kicked your ass to the curb… Have her name removed from the call list… Tell her if she comes an picks ur child up with out you b n notified… You will have for kidnapping an tell the school u will see them In court !!! And then… Put daddy in check to so every one is on the same page !#
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Call your attorney then call the police an have her arrested then press charges against the school an from now on stop asking Facebook what to do
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You need to have this discussion with the father.
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I would let her pick him up if she was his step mother or talked to you before hand but No for a gf. It’s not her business its between your husband and you not her as of right now.
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No actually she’s not over stepping at all that’s how it works honestly. His time is his time and who he gets to pick him up is his business. That’s what I’ve been told in court by a judge and lawyer so.
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As a gf of a dad, unless BOTH mom and dad are ok with it, I won’t be picking kids up. Sounds like she wants to prove she’s important in dad’s life, wrong move girl. You need to respectfully put her in her place … and then get real if she doesn’t get it lol
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As someone who works for the school system. This is so wrong on so many levels. First, no one can just call and make decisions if they are not the parent, stepmom has to actually have consent from parents, if this even makes sense. Second, if you are the primary contact aka parent, because even if there’s dad, if there’s a divorce in line, the schools has who’s the one to call and make decisions, again, hope this makes sense. I would so call the school or better yet go in person and clarify that no decision is to be made if it’s not by you. Just let them know what you want, they can ignore what she said. Then, I would calmly talk to dad, why calmly well because at the end of the day it’s his girlfriend and I don’t know how he is but some men will put them first instead of ex wife or whatever.
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My school told me they cant tell ‘step mum’ anything as shes not on the contact list nvm pick him up… data protection x
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Wow this lady. I can’t with mothers like her. 
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She shouldnt have rang the school and changed it and they shouldn’t have let her. However unless you have a legal or safeguard issue with her which I’m assuming not it just sounds a bit petty hun. It’s his day so down to him she will have said “well I’ll do the school run and start dinner then you dont have to worry”
Be glad she is trying
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How do you know the father didn’t organise this? The girlfriend wouldn’t have had the paperwork to give to the school if he didn’t ask her to. You said on the paperwork your agreement was for him to pick you child up from Thursday’s. You assumed it would be different because of the earlier pick up time. That’s on you. Both you and the father should have discussed this and before school started. You both made assumptions but there is no need to go to war over this. Grow up and do what’s right for your child, not what suits your ego.
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Technically is she went to the school without you or his Dad the school should not have talked/discussdd anything with her at all. She cannot do that and it all has to be a mutual decision between you and him. The school needs to come down on her for that and even discussing the child with her. I would immediately block her from any information, contact etx with the school district until he either allows it or they are married.
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Yes if other parent is not available you have first right of refusal. Need to discuss with father and if father needs to convey to you what he would like to handle his days and then you must agree. Try to be civil and see how he reacts and if can agree to terms together
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My ex husband and I have been divorced 5 years. We both moved on to new people pretty quick. Within a year my boyfriend was dropping our daughter off at school on days I was working. His girlfriend (now wife) has watched her on days off when we are both working.
I would ask you ex husband and also ask your son if he is comfortable spending time with her alone.
There’s a lot of factors that play into co-parenting unfortunately
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Yes i would say she is over stepping. I don’t see an issue with her picking him up, but there IS an issue with her going over you and calling the school without your knowledge. This is something that all involved in his care and life should discuss first, mainly you and his dad
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She’s not the step parent get a grip and take care of the matter she’s still only a friend to him ,
She is not on the list they legally cannot do that and they cant tell her anything, if have a talk with that principle and secretary asap!!!
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Yes you are the Mom. Period. If Dad can’t get him from school, Mom is next in line.
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I’m a step parent and a parent to my own children.Were a Big blended family and if this happend I would get all adults together to discuss it.You all work together as a family unit to care for the child.That includes decisions.If your not on the same page sit down and get on that page. 
sometimes the simplest solution can be the easiest one.Look at his girlfriend as another person who loves and cares for your child.
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Get over it you bitter babymomma, she is picking him up from school? One day a week? Maybe 2? You’re really mad that she will spend 2/3 hours with him before his father is off work.
ITS DADS TIME. Get a job/hobby
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First of all you sound like a child. If your son’s father trust her with your son then who are you to say she can’t be around. He is allowed to move on and be with someone else I’m sure legally he can designate a competent adult to pick up the child. You as the primary parent should have provided the court order anyway. Why did dad and gf have to do it? If Thursday is his day according to the court order HE should be called regardless of when the court order was drawn up. It sounds to me like you’re jealous dad has moved on. I don’t feel like you should be this upset about it. Chances are she loves your child as her own or he wouldn’t be with her. Sorry to come off rude but I can’t stand bitter exes and that’s what you sound like.
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All allu want lock up
She needs to have several seats. She’s not even married to him!!! If anything changes with the pickup arrangements at school. Mom should be making them since she was custody. The school shouldn’t change anything without moms permission
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I think you should start with the father, or maybe have a sit down with both father and Gf? This way nothing gets miscommunicated and this way the Gf is very aware of your feelings and where you stand. Who knows what conversations are taking place between father and Gf. She could have no idea how much she is over stepping. If that doesn’t work out then I would take it up with the school and contact attorney. I’m sorry your dealing with this. 
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Talk to the school and make it absolutely clear that YOU are the mother and your child’s father’s girlfriend has no say in what happens with that child. Anything brought in by her should be disregarded by them.
Also talk to your child’s father about the situation.
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I wouldn’t even question this. Just continue picking your son up. Especially if she’s not on a list of approved people to pick your son up. She’s not legally married to your ex and you’re the primary. It’s not even a question. As mom, I would call the school and reiterate to them that by no means is she allowed to pick your son up unless you or your husband have cleared it with the school for a specific occasion. Go pick your son up, even if she’s there, the school can’t turn your son over to her if she’s not a legal guardian or his parent. Fuck her.
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That is definitely something you need to discuss with his dad. If he wanted it this way then unfortunately there’s nothing you can do. However not talking to you about it first is very disrespectful
Is it possible to have a civil conversation with the dad and gf and come to a mutual agreement in regards to boundaries. Take emotions out of it, even tho it’s hard especially if you have met the gf. Sounds like the gf is already apart of your son’s life… idk if i would say she’s overstepping on purpose…she’s probably doing what your ex is asking of her. She might even think she’s being helpful.
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He is YOUR son. If you’re able to have a discussion about this with your ex without her I would do so. Boy does this light my fire. I’m sorry you’re going through this but I would go to the school and clarify everything how she is in fact just a girlfriend and not at all a care taker. If push comes to shove and I was in your shoes that Girl would be getting a surprise visit from mama bear.
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Just re-read it all, but instead of his girlfriend - pretend it’s his mother.
Would you still react this way?
If not, then it’s likely your emotions or feeling whatever kind of way, getting in the mix.
Yeah, definitely bring it up to them both and get you all back on the same page (first right of refusal etc), and she certainly should leave the contacting the school and parenting agreements to you guys as the parents, but at the end of the day - if she isn’t a risk to the kid and they have a positive relationship, what’s it matter if she spends 1.5-2 hours with the child until dad gets home? If anything, it’ll be easier than the child being picked up by mum, then going to dad, could get confusing 
HELL NO.
Make sure the school knows, she is NOT A LEGAL GUARDIAN, and has ZERO LEGAL right to release your son to her.
You can sue the school AND have her arrested for kidnapping. She sounds INSANE FR.
Have an adult conversation with them both but you best put your foot down or down her throat if the RULES you lay for your child aren’t followed
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Until amended, technically the school has to follow your court paperwork including parenting time etc. Wouldn’t her turning that into the school, actually make you look better? It should also mean that technically unless she is listed as an emergency contact, that the school shouldn’t be giving her any information whatsoever.
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She sounds psycho, proceed with caution 
I dealt with one of these and next thing I knew crazy had my ex convinced he could get full custody because somehow contact with me over the kids was a threat to her. Almost a year and thousands later he realized she was smacked. She never as a go should have called your kids school or thrown around your legal documents. That stuff is between you and your kids father.