You are out of your mind ! She seems to be a reliable and trustworthy (since she is babysitting outside of the home )babysitter for only $40 for 5 hours . Not only do you have a great deal which is unheard of these days . You should have paid and I would have even offered some extra for the kids birthday. Good luck finding a new babysitter because this you will regret really quick.
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so you pay her 8 am hour and want her to supply the meal. that is below minimum wage you screwed up I would of just paid it.
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If she chose to take your child out when she had him then I feel like that is on her unless I’m misunderstanding
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It’s your child, if you feel you were right then you were right…… I just feel that inflation is up for everyone and maybe because they were eating out and it was more expensive maybe they actually needed it. No one knows everyone’s situation if it were my child I would have made sure they could eat out too and given her the money , but that’s just me, but sounds like she definitely was hurt or offended.
Idk… I worked at the local daycare here a few years back. I made 10/hr . They pay 165 a week per kid all meals provided by the center, but half of the kids are on DHS provided meals and daycare…
Personally, I have a odd schedule I only work two days a week but it’s 48 on 92 off. 
That being said I hired a summer sitter to watch the boys from 6:30am - 6:00pm two days a week.
I pay her 10/hr to come to my home and babysit.
She watches my two boys.
She makes really good money, and I provide all the food.
Gas is ridiculous, so is the price of everything else. So I try to pay my girl the best I can
So you pay minimum wage and she provides everything? She has no incentive to watch your child. She can get a part time job (15 hours a week like you have her working) and make more money. You should of just sent the couple of bucks and went about your day. Then bought her kid a gift. She was doing you a favor.
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40$ for 5 hours to care for another child isn’t “enough” you expected her to postpone her child’s birthday to confine with you? Ya I wouldn’t watch you kid anymore either
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I feel she should have discussed this with you beforehand. I’m sure you would of agreed, I think it’s the demanding part that rubbed you the wrong way.
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You sound cheap as hell. Yes your wrong.
Bet you won’t find another babysitter for that cheap
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I pay 185 a week for 5 days a week. 8 hours a day! My son goes to an inhome daycare and all meals are provided. I just provide diapers and wipes.
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I dont understand how some of you people pay a hourly wage to your daycare fmof like 20 bucks an hour… I dont get it. At all
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$40 a day for 5 hours is not even minimum wage so no she is not being paid enough. But if she took the child out for food that bill is on her.
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You should be providing his meals regardless
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$40 dollars plus food i would definitely packed some snacks in a backbpack everyday. I would pay her the money its a special occassion.
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Regardless of what anyone else pays to their childcare provider… your sitter agreed to the terms of $40/day, meals provided.
For that fact alone, you are not wrong. I would absolutely look for a new sitter.
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Daycare in my area is 25/day. I guess it depends. I think 40/day is to much but we live in a small rural town. She should have cleared it with you first to have some kind of agreement before hand. If you want to keep her pay her, if you don’t 100% need her than don’t pay for it and tell her it’s her loss. Don’t be surprised if she quits though
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Is it ideal? No but I would’ve paid her. I actually would’ve asked the whole balance and paid as a treat 
but I understand her not asking before hand and then asking afterwards is kinda rude.
From a man’s point of view, your sitting on your but watching a kid watch TV for a few hours or maybe sleep, 40 is overkill unless it’s a business , your a kid
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That’s crazy she should have discussed it with you. I would have been upset too unless it’s pre arranged.
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No I think she should of Discussed that with you first and come to an agreement her choice to take ur son too ,
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$8 an hour and you won’t give her money for food… you’re lucky she’s watching your kid for $8 an hour. Good luck finding anyone else to watch him for that little.
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Haaahaaa 40 for 5 hrs you LUCKY TO GET HER .Thats pretty cheap should get more like 12 or 13 and hr do the math your worried bout putting food in your own kids mouth you know what year it is 40 dollars for 5 hours and has very young man oh man your way off and just lost a really GOOD BABYSITTER
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You send your son to a babysitter while you work from home because you need complete silence? What the fuck do you do for work? Meditate and traverse the Farplanes? Use Zoom like everyone else and watch you own kid!
You pay her $8, an hour and she had to provide your son’s food as well? What else are you expecting her to spend that $40/day on for your child? Transportation to school or to & from home, art supplies, toys etc? I don’t feel asking you to pay for 1 happy meal is that much to ask. If it’s your agreement that she provides food then she should have asked if you minded. But to work for you for an hour just to feed your son is expecting a lot imo.
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You wrong the price of food right now is insane you should be sending him with food and drinks a daycare cost for 5 hours would be around 50 dollars a day and you have to provide food
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You pay her $8 an hour. I’m surprised food is even included. Yes, you’re in the wrong. You should’ve sent her money for your son to enjoy himself. You’re out of a sitter now. Congrats.
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The National Average Wage for babysitting in the USA is $20.57/hour. That’s not a Nanny, Daycare, etc. Just babysitting. The average Daycare cost Nationally per week is $340. Nannies cost average $612 per week.
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Why would u be offended if the person caring for ur child, asks u for money for ur kids food. U obviously didn’t send her the money so she probably ended up feeding your kid anyways out of her own pocket. Why should she wait until ur kid isn’t there, if it’s her kids birthday. If she can’t ask the parent for money for food here and there, then yeaaaa that’s a deal breaker. I can’t believe u said “no I’m not gonna Venmo u to feed my kid, that wasn’t the deal”
wHAAT! Idc who my kid is with, if someone is taking them out to eat, I’d send them w money regardless
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I’m pretty nearly everyone has said the same thing. I would send her $10, its seriously not that big of a deal. He’s out having a good time. I asked if she could cover and you just reimburse her. I make sure my kids are provided for. I always ask how much more do they need to take my kid out. Many times they tell me, not to worry about it but I always give them something just in case.
Ooof.
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At that price I’m guessing she’s not a registered childminder . If id known before the outing id have offered to pay the extra . Its not often we find someone we trust with our children and hard to find childcare at such a reasonable cost.
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The going rate for baby sitters in Australia is $25-$35 PER HOUR! Our child care here averages $130-$160 a day.
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These beautiful (teachers and child care) people that care for children(the lives of your most valued) make squat! Support them any way you can!
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My sons daycare is $60 a day. They provide two meals, two snacks, and are available from 6am-6pm. So $40 isn’t outrageous. If she didn’t want to pay for his food she should have waited to take her son until you got yours back.
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You aren’t paying her enough money. And you don’t send him with food. It’s not worth her time.
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My sons legitimate daycare that will watch him from 6:30am-6:00pm with meals included is $40 a day for drop in. He’s 13 months old and I don’t get government assistance. I live in Phoenix AZ where everything is expensive. Some of the comments that she’s doing a favor etc would not apply to me if this were my question, I’m just saying.
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That’s a dangerous situation just because she’s obviously spiteful find a new baby sitter 
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40 a day for 5 hours is horrible pay! Nothing for your son, even when he’s with her should be out of her pocket.
Nope, you aren’t wrong and you’re probably right about why she doesn’t want to watch him anymore. 
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You’re going to get a lot of different points of view on this because we all live in different areas and the cost of a babysitter in those areas differ some people pay $20 a hour some people pay $20 a day it all depends on your area my area you do not make $20 an hour babysitting you make probably $25 a day. I don’t think it was right she asked you you didn’t tell her to take your child out that was her decision she could have waited or could have done it a different day I probably wouldn’t have sent the money either .
Field trips do cost extra and that’s technically how you’d consider it. A one time event.
My daughter pays $40/day for licensed day care but field trips are extra.
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She should of approached you about this before the lunch and gave you the opportunity to keep your kid home that day. That being said, you lost your child care over a few dollars.
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As a nanny, I always use my own money for things unless previously discussed. Often times the parents include extra money in my check when they know I’ve done something with my own money for their children, but that’s to their discretion. I would never transport their children somewhere without previous consent. If you didn’t discuss her being allowed to take him places then she’s very much in the wrong, but either way she’s definitely wrong for taking him out to eat without your knowledge and then expecting you to pay for his meal. She could have taken her child out after you picked your child up. I highly doubt she’s watching your child until eight or nine at night. At this point, I’m just glad she took him out and fed him as opposed to making him sit there while everyone else ate since she didn’t have the money for him.
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You’re wrong it was her kids bday she didn’t have to watch yours but she stuck to the schedule I wouldn’t want to babysit for you anymore either🤷🏻♀️
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She doesn’t make enough to feed your child. If you expect her to pay for things then she should get paid more than $8 an hour especially if she is taking your kid to do stuff. I’m sorry but if I was her I’d walk away. She’s getting the short end of the stick.
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I say you’re not paying her enough for her to be providing meals. 
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Yes you are $40 per day +providing meals seems not much. It’s also not hard to pack your son a little lunch box or snacks at least. & maybe $10 if she does anywhere with your child. She shouldn’t have to pay for your child.
& it was her sons birthday it was nice of her to include your child so you could work still she could have said no she wasn’t available that day.
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You should ALREADY be sending food and drinks with him on days she babysits. Why would she have to wait the next day if that day was her son’s bday? She could have taken your son with her and NOT fed him. So send her the $ for his meal and be a parent.
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You were paying her peanuts and ur kid was probably happy/safe with her plus ur kid had a playmate. You should have been grateful that she included him and he got to go on an experience vs staying in the house. Why wouldn’t you’ve sent her money for his food? This is crazy to me. Now ur going to have to pay the real amount of a babysitter, all over not wanting to pay for ur kids food… it’s just bazar to me
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You Venmo her the money and be grateful she’s watching your child for 8$ an hour or less….
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I feel with these posts a general location would help weed out some of this ridiculously rude comments. Because where I am from no one charges $8/hour for child care. I am a stay at home mom so no one come bash me saying I’m not paying enough but here people charge $3-$5/ hour for child care. Gosh some people on here are plain old RUDE!!!
Damn $8 an hour and has to pay for all the kids meals AND treat him to HER kids birthday 
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Your not wrong if she was planning to go out she should have let you know a week in advance and said we are going on a special trip on this date and it will cost $15. Then you can prepare for it.
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That’s less the 10 dollars an hr
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I think you should have just sent 10 bucks at least just my opinion 
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I think the biggest issue is communication. The parent should have been asked beforehand, if it would be ok, and cost. Parent would then be able to either keep child home, or send money. I’m a licensed provider and provide Preschool Program and meals/snacks charge less than 40 a day.
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The $$$ you pay should include what she feeds him during that time frame. If she chooses to take him along to eat then that gets paid for out of what you have already paid. That’s what I’d say and with her response I guess she don’t have to watch him anymore. Hope you can find someone better for him.
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You lost a sitter over $5. There is your answer.
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The block is a blessing she’s trying to milk you !! Go with that gut feeling and be glad the Trash took itself out
Goodluck 
Although I feel like you should be paying her more than $8/hr if she provides meals, she was definitely wrong to not have mentioned it prior. You’re saving a shit ton of money on childcare btw.
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Yes you’re in the wrong she shouldn’t have to postpone her son’s or any plans she has just because she has your son. You’re the reason she had your son. I wouldn’t want to watch your kid anymore either. It’s different for her to provide food for your child from her home it’s another thing for her to have to drag your child along for her son’s birthday meal. She could have told you to get lost for that day but instead she took him on and took him with. If she sprung the question on you last minute she should have given you more of a heads up even if the dinner was a last minute decision she could have messaged you before going but regardless yes 100% you’re in the wrong
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She doesn’t make enough to feed your kids and help her family. What your possibly pay a daycare isn’t what you pay someone privately. You should be sending all food, snacks a drinks already. Where I am you can’t even get a baby sitter for under $25/hour. You’re paying Pennie’s. Give her the money and say thank you for allowing your son to participate. It is her child’s birthday and she’s didn’t decide to not work for you like she could have.
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She shouldve talked to you about it first before just taking him with. you pay her $40 a day and shes supposed to include food with that, if thats the agreement you guys discussed then that’s that. It doesn’t matter if it’s “horrible pay” or $8 an hour if thats what you agreed on then thats that. She couldve talked to you about it and maybe you could’ve taken your son back a little earlier that day or whatever
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She is going out of her way to include your son. To make him feel like he is being treated like all the kids in her care $40 is not a lot of money for 5 hours of work plus her including food and snacks. Anything extra you should be covering.
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You are so wrong girlfriend lol
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You lost your sitter for the refusal. I’d say that explains this for you.
I’m sending my to 4H for the summer and pay $25.00 aday fro 8:00-5:00 with 2 meals a day… and also I gotta ask what a 5yo eats that cost $20.00 ?
Her rate is $8.00 a hour. When she feeds your child a meal and snacks. It comes down to less than that. She is providing you a service. You seem to really undervalue that service. This is your child. Sitter included your child in a special occasion. Something I would think a five year old would say yes to if asked if go. You ruined a situation that was a very reasonable price! Your being ridiculous! Your child had another child his age to play with. And it is not easy to find a situation for that price with those hours! 
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I pay her less than 10 bucks an hour to babysit your 5 year old child and she is to also provide meals? Yea….I wouldn’t have time for that either. She could easily do much more simple work like doordash and make twice that .
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You are not wrong. She had the choice to a)tell you she couldn’t watch him that day or b) like you said, wait until the next day. I hope you didn’t send her money
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You don’t have a right to expect her to pay for food or a birthday. Most daycares charge that for anything over three hours and you have to supply food and any money to do anything. Did you know it was happening? Did you get the kid a gift? Sounds like you should find a different sitter your not a good match
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You could have picked him up and not let him go or paid for his meal. Kids meals are pretty cheap and you’re already underpaying her. She’s didn’t ask you to pay for all of them. You’re selfish and cheap. YTA.
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No she is wrong and you need a new
Sitter
I see it both ways. You should be sending snacks/drinks with your child and be paying her more. I also think she should of told you that she was taking her kid out so that you could either send her more money or find someone else to watch your kid that day.
You are not overpaying for a sitter. She feeds him everyday she has him, so I don’t think it is too much to ask you to pay for his meal. She sounds like a good sitter, so I think you lost a good person, by not paying the little extra. The next sitter will probably be more expensive.
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So this is tricky. If she is choosing to take your kid out to eat then she should pay for their meal. If she didn’t want to she should have told you that she cannot watch your child that specific day bc it’s her child’s birthday party. However I feel like she isn’t being paid enough to watch your child anyways & it is your responsibility to send food with your child bc let’s be honest food is really expensive and you are paying her to watch your child, not support your child.
Omgggg 
you pay $8/hr??? Yeah you should pay her for the food and you should pay more in general. I wouldn’t watch your kid either. It’s 2022. Pay some actual money.
I can guarantee you will not find another sitter that only charges $40 a day. Maybe she couldn’t afford your sons portion and she was just wanting to make sure she had enough. I mean she could have just bailed on you for the whole day and took only her son out but she chose to include him. So I think you should have been thankful and did what she asked. I mean it’s a few bucks for your son to have a meal, is it that big of an issue lol?
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Nope. If it was a burden for her to pay for your 5 year Olds meal, she should have discussed with you ahead of time what the plan was. There were options. Ie: drop your son off early, and accept a short day payment, for example. She does not have a generous heart; ergo, not a good choice for childcare.
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I paid that in the early 80s! You’re cheap!
She should have given you a heads up atleast the day before, or she could have gone the next day if she didn’t have the funds kids don’t care that young they don’t know the days or weeks yet
I’m sorry but with the way the cost of living is right now I would not babysit 5 hours for $40 and no one else in their right mind would either. That’s not live-able wages so I hope she’s doing other work also. That’s seriously $8/hr and you’re complaining because they went out to eat and she asked for money for food??? Yeah I can see why
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Shoot I only charge $30 a day for 9-10 hours including lunch and snacks…
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Dodged a bullet, doesn’t sound like she cared for your son the same as her children.
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You are wrong here. $40 a day is so cheap I can’t believe you would expect her to pay for his food as well.
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$40 A DAY?! And you don’t even send food? I have no other comments
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Everyone is saying she is wrong because she only pays the girl $120/week to keep the kid. Hell, I pay $120/week for my 1 year old to go to day care and that includes 2 meals and 1 snack. No I do not feel you are wrong. I feel like it should have been something discussed beforehand. If anything just find a good day care you can trust and you will pay around the same amount🤷🏻♀️
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Also she is making about $8 an hour then you have to subtract the food she provides your child. So she is probably making closer to $6. That is definitely not enough for her to be paying out of pocket for anything extra. She would essentially be working for free. If your child is happy and being well taken care of it should be an non issue especially with summer coming up. She may want to plan fun trips to a zoo or other activities and this will determine if your child will be able to participate in any of this.
40 a day? I’m sorry but that’s not enough in general. Most baby sitters are asking for minimum wage or over for the HR!
I absolutely feel you should be giving her money for your child’s food. You’re telling me you’re paying her a little over 5 dollars an hr? You got it made…
At this point, you’re taking advantage!
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In my opinion, you were underpaying her. Not sure what state you’re in but babysitting rate in tx is $15 an hour…
Well technically if she had something important planned and she knew that it was going to put you in that position she should have let you know ahead of time that on this day I will not be available to watch your child unless you can provide a little bit extra as we have activities planned and it will include a meal outside the home. So I would honestly just drop her and find someone else because that was very unprofessional of her. You can’t just bring something on somebody and be like hey we’re at a restaurant eating I need you to send money to pay for your son well you didn’t tell me that you had something outside of watching my child going on if you had told me ahead of time and I could have prepared myself I could have paid more the last time that I made a payment to you yeah very very unprofessional of her .
So no you are not wrong and then for her to throw a tantrum and say well I don’t have time to watch your child I’d say well that’s okay I can find someone else and just keep it moving.
Because now she’s lost what technically I believe is just too much money for 5 hours a day and you’ve lost nothing but moving on to another sitter that is probably a lot more professional.
You only pay her 40 a day?!?! Venmo the poor woman! I charged 100 and it was at their house with their food! She can’t afford YOUR sons meal because she doesn’t even get a living wage.
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Man. I guess I am a horrible underpaid and undercharging sitter
I charged $15 a day for 9-5 and provided all meals 
Did you know they were taking her kid out? I feel like it could’ve been avoided with a few day notice on what event was happening and seeing if you could’ve found other arrangements for that day.
It all depends on the area my dudes. Also certifications and qualifications. Just my opinion
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If she had said something before hand maybe she would be right. But to take him and ask for the money afterwards that’s a no for me. Just find yourself a new baby sitter. Maybe look into a child care facility idk where you live but most places where i live only charge like 150 a week for 5 10 hour days.
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As a nanny of 18 years let me just tell you of course you should pay for your sons food are you out of your mind??? I wouldn’t work for you either for $40 a day!! 
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You both came to a agreement about pay food ect. No you were not wrong. If she had a issue she should had notified you in advance.
I think you should be grateful that this person is willing to babysit for you period. Did you think to send her child a birthday gift, did you think to give her a bit of free time for her family’s special occasion? yeah, my daughter babysits for a few kids every day sometimes all night long even. her family sacrifices for these kids gets significant especially when she has them during her husbands vacation time and they can’t even go anywhere special because she will have this group of kids every day. She doesn’t do this with resentment or for the extra money she does this out of the kindness of her heart and if she asked someone please I need a bit of extra money this week and they reacted like this I am sure she’d let them find new babysitters.
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As a nanny $40 a day is not enough. She’s doing you a favor. Pay her for that food.
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If your deal is meals are included then she should’ve paid for your son’s meal or waited until after you picked your son up or a day off. I agree with you. She was in the wrong. She chose to babysit your child for x amount of money and she agreed meals were included. Unpopular to everyone else’s opinions, How much it breaks down to per hour is irrelevant. She agreed to it from the beginning.
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So many of you act like childcare costs the same everywhere 
it’s $2-4/hr/per child in my area so, no she’s not being cheap. Yes, that’s for actual daycare facilities with meals included. Minimum wage is also only $9.20 here.
She should have informed you ahead of time that she was planning an outing, that way you could keep him or find a different sitter if you chose to. NTA.
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40$ for 5 hours tf? That’s 100 for my wife when she baby sits our friends kid! Our friend pays my wife 10$ an hour and provides ALL food although we love little toby so we don’t mind paying for his food but that’s because we have the means to do so. She may not. It’s situational but you wrong for that.
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