No you are not in the wrong. Where she chooses to take your child to eat when he is in her care is her business. If she wanted to go out to eat and ask you for extra money she should of done it before you dropped your child there
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I pay 30 a day for my 2 year Olds daycare care 5 days a week… snacks included but not meals…I can’t imagine paying what some of you do…lol but I guess it depends where u live, etc.
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It’s like weird to me the people who don’t appreciate or don’t have a high value on the one literally taking care of their child. She’s taking care of your baby and you’re mad she asked you for what, $10 for food ?
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You are wrong. I’m sorry but you are basically paying her min wage
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Yes you are wrong. If it’s her child birthday she really didn’t even have to watch your son in the first place. I pay my babysitter plus I have to take his lunch daily.
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If ur gunna bitch about that put ur child into proper day care and pay there fees im sure u can afford it
I feel you made a deal and she agreed. She should have had a convo about providing meals which I think she has every right to do but to just demand this without an actual conversation makes me say get someone else to do childcare. Also as a parent if I have a child with me for a party I buy the food for the children, I don’t make parents buy their children’s food because she could have easily scheduled this party on a day she didn’t have your child. But normal days yes I do belive you should help provide meals, whether it’s bringing food or you give her more money. She handled it completely wrong though.
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Nope you shouldn’t have too
I woulda quit too 
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So you lost a good babysitter for what… $10? Yeah, you should have paid her…
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That is so little you are paying her. If someone asks if they can take my child somewhere I never assume they are paying. I would always offer and expect to pay. If they decline that’s kind but not needed.
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Everyone talking about criminal wages 
I had a home daycare and it worked out to about $25 a day per child and that was like 8,9 s ometimes 10 hour days
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Definitely wrong. She is getting 8 dollars an hour and you want her to buy your child’s food too.
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Wait. You are not even paying bare minimum wage and on top of that, her hours are short. She’s doing you a favor. I advise pick your battles and be grateful she’s making less than $10 an hour to help you. Time is more valuable than that and you pay what you get.
Any time extra curricular activities such as that arise, I’d gladly supply or pay her back! Just because I’m grateful to have someone help take care of my kid. No questions asked, yes I would have paid! Hell I tip my babysitter. She feeds, meets me, even lives 4 mins away… charges me $125.00 a week… but I tip her whenever I can just to show her how appreciative I am!!
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Youre definitely wrong.
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Just for a reference, my 13-year-old started babysitting this year and gets paid anywhere between $10-$15 an hour. I cannot imagine being a grown adult getting paid eight dollars an hour and expecting to feed somebody else’s child with that
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$40 for 5 hours??? Girl you think that’s fair? Haha
But, if getting food wasn’t your idea then I wouldn’t wanna pay her back either, I would of just kept him home that day if I didn’t wanna pay for his meal.
But saying $40 a day is fair just makes you look cheap as hell
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Because it was a special event, yes you should have sent her the money, she could have told you she couldn’t take him that day,
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Daycare costs more 
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You are wrong and the fact that you said she need to take her child on another day
Wow mind blown she is doing to a favor and caring for your child why would she put her child to the side
I don’t blame her I’d be done
It’s a meal pay for your child
Don’t make her take it out of her paycheck you pay her
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Plain and simple… you both were in the wrong. She should have let you know ahead of time that she planned on spending the day with her kid for his/her birthday and that they were going out to eat. If you could find another sitter for the day that would be appreciated. If not then you should send X amount of $$ to pay for his/her meal.
$8/hr with food provided is extremely cheap childcare. Taking that into consideration you should have been willing to either let her have her day with her child and find another sitter for one day or pay the extra $$ to still get childcare for the day. I would’ve sent the $$ and bought a gift💕
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I would get a new sitter. I would find one who was nice and caring and compassionate . I would not want my kid to be somewhere where people didnt love them enough to fed them. However that said 40 and she feds him and you think that should cover everything? Umm…maybe someone should pay you 40 dollar for five hours and than have you try and fed 3 people on it everyday. I believe this is a case of mutal lack of thinking about each of your positions and seeing things from eachother perspective.You should provide grocies to her for the week plus 40 a day and be glad you only pay that. She probably is acting out because she spends thankless days with children ,just to still be broke and your out here acting like she should be happy.
We’ll time to put your kid in a daycare where you would pay more then 40$ a day. I don’t blame her for quitting. Screw that!
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What money you pay her for the time should also cover the food she feeds him from her own home. Plus this meal is/was extra special for their kid, maybe their kid said he wanted it to be with your kid so he’d/she’d have a child there with the birthday child.
You’re wrong. You should have paid for your kids meal. Why should she wait to take her kid out for their birthday just because she’s doing you a favour by watching your son ? I used to charge $10/hr to watch someone’s kid and they had to provide the food for them just to make sure the kid would like it/eat it. $40 day isn’t even minimum wage for 5 hours.
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Ummmmmm…you are NOT paying her ‘enough’
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To everyone saying she’s not even paying her minimum wage…do you seriously think mom makes enough to pay her minimum wage? What’s the point in working if u spend ur whole check paying for child care?? Generally a sitter does not make minimum wage unless said sitter watches more than one child from more than one family. Daycare does not get $8/hr from one child. Smh. The sitter CHOSE to take the child out to eat. And if mom is paying $8/hr I doubt she can afford to venmo food money. More than likely she provided food for the child already.
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Lol maybe she cant afford to pay for your child to go out and eat especially considering you only pay $40 for 5 hrs. Considering what a great deal you had with her paying her back for going out is the right thing to do you won the battle but lost the war
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Has this woman no clue what others pay for childcare??? Yes, she’s wrong and cheap
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I feel like you two
Should have a convo about meals not at her home. When I babysat and my girls or I had an Drs apt. We always got something for lunch, so we bought her child something too. She told us we didn’t have to buy her lunch because she provided her lunch but my husband and I didn’t feel it was right if we were all eating Chick-fil-A or something else and the lil girl was eating a lunchable.
You are wrong it’s great if she provides meal at home. But when they go out. Not!!
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You pay her $8 an hour basically… slave labour rates. I would’ve quit too. Good luck with having your absolutely quiet days lol.
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A lot of babysitters today are (rightfully) asking for $15-$20/hr. Paying for 1 meal is not an unreasonable ask when you pay well below the going rate already.
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I will say this: $40 for 5 hours of child care? You have gotten yourself an awesome deal here, dont f it up.
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I mean I am Aussie so it sounds all sorts of wild to me that someone can be paid $8 for 5 entire hours of your life and then be expected to also foot the bill for your kid regardless of whether it’s out or at home.
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Definitely time for a new sitter. Don’t make him go back
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She’s expected to pay for your child out of her money for watching your child?
I would of Venmo her the money. I pay my sitters a minimum of $10/hour for one child. I always leave cash if they want to go out and do things. I provide food for both the sitters and my daughter.
Grocery’s are not cheap. And be thankful that she was willing to take your child places and do fun things.
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I must be the only one who thinks you are right lol. 
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You’re not wrong! She should have planned a different day or told u in advance and said could u pay for him to go, 40 is alot a day so…
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If your child was in school and went on a field trip you would pay for it… Same thing. I’m sure his meal wasn’t even more than ten dollars. This was a special meal not a normal meal provided at the daycare. I think you should have sent her the money
Oh ouch. To late now. I would have given the extra $. Choose your battles.
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You realize that’s only $8 an hour?
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I agree that she should have told you ahead of time and she could have picked a different time or day when your child wasn’t there. I think $40 a day for 5 hours is fair. I guess my only question would be is how much was she asking for? I mean he’s 5, how much could it have cost? Couldn’t be anymore than $10. I could see giving her an extra $5 towards his meal and it being paid at the end of the day. But again she should have let you know and gave you an option before hand. I think there was more to this story on the sitters part and you may be better off having someone else watch your child. I would be a little turned off by her actions.
No you are right !!!
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Tbh she still watched YOUR kid on her child’s birthday, the least you could’ve done was spare the extra 7$ for a meal?
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I think ur wrong and she’s done dealing with u, hurt u more
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$40 a day is so low. Venmo her for lunch …… do not make her mad bc you will never find childcare for this cost anywhere again….
Maybe she is feeling slighted & being passive aggressive & wants a raise but won’t ask. You need to talk to her about it .
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You’re paying $8 bucks an hour lmao just
Venmo a few bucks and move on. Not that big of a deal at all.
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as someone who had a day care center for over 30 years your sitter was way out of line
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No you’re not wrong she is. You didn’t ask her to take your son out, she chose to. What you pay her is reasonable for 5 hours (depending where you live ). Where I live I’d pay $20 per day per child for 8 hours at the daycare.
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In my state your barely paying her minimum wage I would pay more especially if they took good care of my child id of sent the money
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I mean she could have been rude AF and not let your baby eat when she took him out. $10 extra bucks for a nice dinner out doesn’t seem like that big of a deal
Where I am, licensed in-home daycare are only $30/day for 5hrs or more. So your $40/day seems fair from my perspective for a daycare. However, babysitters work under a different title ensuring them more money $/hr because they have less kids they are being paid for. I would suggest finding a daycare or if your babysitter wants you to pay for extra curricular activies,actives, she needs to make you aware atleast 2 days ahead of time so that you can decide if you want to pay for it or keep the child home
Wow I would never charge someone $40 for 5 hours to watch their kid… y’all are trying to rob these people when they’re just trying to make a living. 
what has this world come to. If I was already at home not working then so be pick up a babysitting gig to make a little extra money but you gotta LIKE to watch kids. Otherwise they’ll mistreat your kid because it’s a “job” 
Also if the mom makes $15/hr paying a babysitter $15+/hr is just ridiculous. Mom wouldn’t make crap!
If you knew her personally and thought of her as an associate/friend the babysitter is in the WRONG!!!
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What’s more important? Being right, or having a babysitter?
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Some of the comments here make me sick. She is not refusing to feed her child. She is clearly upset bc the person who was to be taking care of her child took it upon herself to take said child to the dinner. She should have planned the dinner at a time when she wouldn’t be “working” if she didn’t want to cover the cost herself.
If I want to go out to eat when I am on the clock am I going to send the bill to my boss?
Just because she has a babysitting job doesn’t mean she gets a free pass to expect/request money whenever she pleases. They obviously had the agreement of that pay prior to the meal so that was the babysitters choice.
Idk where you all live but childcare for 5 hours is less than that. But I live the country.
We aren’t all greedy here and we help each other out. Times are tough and not only that we don’t know how much this mom is making staying at home working plus if she’s a single mom. Yall are so quick to judge.
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Im surprised by some of these comments… Ive ran my own daycare for 18 years id love $40 for only 5 hours!! I dont know if most of you even pay childcare, but we do not make the prices your throwing out🤔.
With the question shes asking i myself wouldve never asked her for extra money especially after the fact. If theres an extra cost im worried about id talk to the parents before hand, not after the fact.
I do little extras all the time with the kids i watch on my own dime. If i was worried about the extra cost i wouldve done it on a day when i only had my bio munchkin…
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You have an agreement about meals which in included in her fee. She chose to take her child out to eat while your child was with her. Unless it was agreed upon that you covered your child’s meal ahead of time then no your not in the wrong for not sending her more money. She made the choice to include your child on her own.
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In Virginia, that’s not even minimum wage. Your $40 for 5 hours is equal to $8/hr. I would give a pay increase as well as venmo the $ for the food
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Unless she asked prior to taking him out for you to pay, it’s on the sitter, esp since she provides the food. She must have a schedule of days she babysits so could have gone out a different time or after your child was picked up. $40 for 5 hours of having a playmate for your own child is an excellent deal.
That’s barely even 10 bucks an hour and taking care of a child isn’t always a walk in the park. I see nothing wrong with her asking for food. She deserves that because if you had to bring your child to an actual daycare it would be far more expensive. You’re paying her for her time and if she has to pay for his food too that’s cutting her pay even more. Less than 10 bucks an hour isn’t always enough
Shit where you live!? I’ll watch your baby for $8/hour for a few hours a day! Lol. Daycares only charge about $100-150/week for “older” kids from open to close do about 11 hrs per day, 5 days per week availability. That’s last I checked, mine are teens now. With at home daycares/childcare…they usually don’t charge min wage or more per child. Most charge 3-5/kid per hour (to my knowledge & here where I live) At least your son will be starting school this year. I feel like that’s one of those…you’re better of w/o them kinda things!
You only paid 40 a day? That’s less than minimum wage. I make 105 a day and can still barley afford preschool supplies.
I think you should just pay for it. $40 for 5 hours isn’t much when your child’s life is in her hands during those hours. She should have definitely told you about it for sure. But I think it’s fair to just pay for the meal.
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I would have paid her. She asked for half of the cost of the meal plus she was not providing a homemade meal they were eating out. She didn’t have to watch him on a day like that either and she did to help you. Here in San Diego CA it cost $180 a day to take care of 1 child in a daycare for 10 hours that’s $18 an hour. People think they’re doing baby sitters a favor by paying when in reality they’re the ones doing the favor by watching your child. You need babysitting right, then just pay.
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You should be paying her more but she also shouldn’t randomly take your kid out and expect you to pay for something she wanted to do while your child was in her care
Sorry but you are wrong. $40 for 5 hours is not even minimum wage. I understand some of us can’t afford to pay a babysitter a decent wage but to expect her to also provide meals, it’s insane. You should be happy your son was taken out to have fun, half of a meal isn’t even the full amount (seems she was trying to be fair to you) and half of a child’s meal shouldn’t be that much money either. What you showed was a lack of appreciation towards her and the care she provides your son.
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Pay for your kids lunch - $40 for 5 hours is $8 per hour 
she’s generous enough to watch your child on her child’s birthday- you could’ve paid for his meal. 
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40 dollars a day ?!? Omg. I have never found anyone for less than 80.00. Up to 150 a day -
Your paying her 8$ dollars an hour that’s not even minimum wage - which is now 15 …
And she cares for your son
Jesus pay her the money.
That’s horrible. -
Totally unfair, I’m sorry. But she has every right to ask for more money.
Sorry but Your not paying her enough …
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Yes. 8 dollars an hour?? Seriously?? That’s cheap as hell. The very LEAST you could to is pay for your kids food! Congratulations on losing a babysitter because you’re a cheapskate
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Just to let you know at my last babysitting job I made $22 an hour and they fed their own child and me and my child if I had her with me
Yeah… you’re the asshole forsure.
I pay $415 a week for someone to watch my 2 kids and they’re watched in my home, all food provided by me.
You should pay it. My god
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$40 for 5 hours is nothing! You should pay for the meal and be grateful you have such a cheap babysitter…
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8$ an hour plus meals? Yikes minimum wage for looking after your child? I would want my babysitter to have a little more incentive than 8$ an hour.
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She is sooo wrong. I also pay $50 a day and my sitter is open 730a-530 p and provides food. So I think she was completely out of line to ask you for that.
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If I took the Joshua and Jasmine to lunch are dinner I’d pay for it and I did not ask for the money back I was there Nanny for years hell I’d made enough money with them
$40.00 is a steal! You screwed up. Good luck trying to find someone who will do it for that price now !
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If she’s providing everything she should get paid more.
I pay my sister 20 per kid, but I provide everything, pick her up she stays at my home and I take her home. If she was providing meals and at her home I’d pay her way more.
You should have sent her the money. I mean I would have personally paid for the kid…because I mean how much does it cost to feed a small child. …but some people are just not that way
You’re paying her $8 an hour and you’re complaining she wants money for an outing? Give her the money and give the kid a gift FFS.
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That’s not even 10 dollars an hour now is that fair?
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You should def pay that is some cheap babysitting
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Pick your battles. When it comes to someone I trust with my kid I would have just paid her for the meal then just told her to give you a heads up when going or discuss other options
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I wouldn’t. It was her idea to go out and especially if the agreement is she provides food, paying for his food wether it’s groceries or out to eat both are providing food.
If she had such an issue she should have mentioned it BEFORE the dinner
Heck my going rate is 20-25$ a day for 1 child
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You are Getting an amazing deal for someone to watch your child and provide meals. I would of definitely paid- I’m sure we are talking about $10 or less too…
I’d provide the meals if someone is watching my kid. It’s only common sense. Or I’d leave them money for my child if they were going out.
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You are getting out cheap . You pay 8 dollars a hour. Food included. You would be paying 80 a day no food at a day care.
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You’re wrong asf and then you have the audacity 
I wouldn’t watch your kid either Goodluck
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$60 daily is more like it. I wouldn’t do it for $40 a day that’s not even $10 a hr
It’s probably unreported income cash under the table and doesn’t have any taxes taken out of it yes $40 a day for that situation is completely appropriate. If this is a licensed facility with a license childcare provider that you are paying and she is reporting as income and putting it on the books and paying state and federal taxes on it then okay yes it should be increased. If she’s not paying state or federal income tax on it no she should not be getting more money than what she is now because that is a babysitter not a child care provider there is a difference. Also when I was a nanny I got $20 a day and it did plenty to help pay the bills, I would have never dreamed of asking for 50% of the other person’s wages just to watch their child especially when I was already home with mine.
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Just be a decent human being and refund her for child’s meal, be glad your child had a chance to go out and have fun with other kids! Meals provided are at home not out if she decides its a good day for your child to go have fun at the park , be a decent human being n pay for the icecream! Be thankful there’s someone whatching your child properly! Good nannies are hard to find! But goodluck with getting your child used to a new nanny who probably wont go out of their way to watch your kid and not inconvenience your ‘quiet time’.
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You’re wrong and cheap. $8/hr. Wow. Even as a 12 year old, I got paid more than that. That was 20 years ago.
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Yall are missing the point. You don’t go outside of an agreement and expect the other person to make up for extra costs you caused without prior agreement.
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First of all $40 a day is not enough!!Minimum wage is more than double that! You are entrusting your most prized possession, your son , with someone for that meager sum!!! And she has to feed him on her own dime??? I wouldn’t watch your kid, ever, Mr.Scrooge!!
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40 is about 32quid here. Making it around £6ph, not even min wage. Yes pay for his food!
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Yes you’re wrong 40/day is nothing. Providing food at home is not the same as going out to eat.
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No. And forty dollars a day is more than enough. Just my opinion.
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And BTW people I don’t care if it’s a baby sitting job or something else, you’re working during those hours. You schedule leasure things after or before work time. I can’t just go out with my family during work hours. Again, if she was asking for like $20 or more extra that would be insane. He’s 5, I have 2 kids, I can guarantee her feeding the child she watches isn’t breaking the bank and they had an agreement that she would feed this child during those sitting hours, if she had a problem with how much she was getting paid and food costs at home she should have said something herself at the beginning of the agreement.
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