Your wrong in my personal opinion, that’s not even 10 an hour considering she has kids of her own to take care as well and feed. She was going out of her way to take ur kid as well I would def not expect if I had babysitter to pay for my child’s food. I would pack them their own snacks and food for those 5 hours. Clearly you do not pay her enough to feed ur child as well. I would had sent her 10 dollars to feed your child. What u was paying her is not even minimum wage even tho it’s just for 5 hours. I wouldn’t babysit for less then 10 an hour and considering she has her own kids to take care of as well. Your cheap lol ur lucky she even watched your kid cause nobody I know would take less then 10 or 15 an hour.
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I pay $130 for two days a week at day car … $40 is a steal… give her the money sheesh
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Yes you are wrong.child care is expensive.the daycare i send my child to is 300 a week. You should also not feel so selfish as to say she should celebrate her childs birthday on a different day…you should feel lucky she still decided to watch your child on her own childs birthday, and she wanted your child to be a part of the celebration. And of course you should buy your child’s meal, you shouldve offered…
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If your agreement was $40 per day meals included then the sitter is in the wrong here… However it wouldn’t hurt to send a little extra on this special day… Ultimately she is doing you a favor by watching your child so that you can get work done at your house. Was losing her as a sitter worth it? Have a friendly discussion with her and explain your train of thought & listen to hers…
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You’re paying her $8 an hour to watch your son, I’d stop watching him too
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I pay my sitter $40 a day & she provides lunch & snacks. I provide breakfast if need be. But yeah, if she’s taking your son somewhere out to eat then she should have discussed with you ahead of time. It’s unprofessional to take your son somewhere that costs additional money & not discuss it with you first. I used to have an in-home daycare myself also charging $40 a day per kid & provided food. I never took the kids anywhere without permission. Especially not somewhere that costs additional money without discussing with the parents first. I don’t think you’re out of line at all. I see both sides & the sitter was definitely in the wrong.
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I’ve been a nanny for 15 years and never once did a parent not pay for their child’s food. I’d take them to get pizza, McDonald’s etc. the parent always reimbursed, I didn’t even have to ask. I feel like you should’ve definitely paid her. Especially bc she works for such a low wage. Maybe try taking to her and apologize and lay down some guidelines so it doesn’t happen again?
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40$ for 5 hours?? That’s less than 10$ a hour to babysit. You should be providing snacks and helping with food.
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She could have spoken with you in advance and made arrangements. However, I don’t think $40/Day (without good provided) is fair pay at all. After food she probably making under $100 for 15 hours. You’re wrong IMO.
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$40 for 5 hours and she’s been paying for his food isn’t fair. I’d stop too. Do I think she should’ve discussed this meal cost with you first… absolutely. Obviously she’s at this point in this business deal so find new childcare.
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Im a babysitter myself, my price include breakfast, lunch , dinner and snacks , If I take any of my kids anywhere like to eat I always pay for them , I will never ask a parent to pay me back for something I decided to do, if I do not have enough money I will go when I’m off , paying a sitter is hard for some parents but they have to get one , so you should not assume that they have money for extracurricular activities. And also I will never take any kid anywhere with out asking their parents first , you are supposed to be watching them at your place not taking them places with out permission ( not sure if this was the case )But that’s me , I treat all my kids as they are my own.
So , no I do not think that she is wrong , the sitter should have asked her first for extra money to pay for her son meal
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I pay $50/day for 2 kids for day care for a full 8 hours and $35 for half days
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Find someone else for care I wouldn’t trust an adult who behaves this way to watch my child.
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$40 for 5 hours not the whole day. Are y’all even reading?
If she agreed to provide meals and agreed on her pay then she should have paid or told you ahead of time that they had plans and would need money for his dinner since it was not an at home meal.
Communication goes a long way, I’m sure she has been wanting to stop watching him for awhile this just gave her a reason.
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Considering that FT daycare averages from $25-$70 a day, with food provided, maybe you should just find a new environment for your son where these disputes won’t be an issue 
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I mean how much is a kids meal out like $7-$9? You should have sent the money. If you were paying her a better daily rate then maybe she would have treated. Hopefully you can rectify this and pay her a little more to take care of your child.
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$40 for 5 hours? Psh you wouldn’t tell no one. Sounds like you are expecting this women to parent your child for peanuts smh
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$40 a day for 5 hours might be enough to pay a teenager babysitting, but nowhere near enough to cover meals/snacks, too.
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Damn good babysitter I’ll gladly double her salary… can I have her number 
and pay for her whole child’s dinner for there birthdays
I watched my friends daughter, $20 a day. She would also bring snacks over for ALL the kids, bring all them breakfast, bring them activities, bring me a coffee/energy drink, and pay me extra when she could afford it. I appreciated her so much for the little things. Maybe you should appreciate your sitter a little more if you’re fussing over having to pay for your child’s meal🙂
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How dare she decide to go out and treat her child on her child’s birthday. Yes you’re right, she should’ve waited until the next day and put her own child second to your needs … 
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Yes. The nerve you have. You pay her $40 a day for 5 hours?? What kind of babysitter would babysit for so little? A teenager? Since you’re paying so little, you should be providing everything. Shame on you! Seriously.
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Big difference between food prepared at home and convenience food purchased elsewhere.
When the babysitter has an activity like this most people send extra and pay for any extra expenses incurred.
I help hundreds of people a week find babysitters and this is what usually happens
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so you pay her 8 am hour and want her to supply the meal. that is below minimum wage you screwed up I would of just paid it.
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What… she should have taken her child out the next day for his birthday? Who are you ? It’s her child’s birthday, just reading that tells me what kind of person you are. Sure you wouldn’t do that to your kid. Most sitters get paid and the parent supplies food and snacks.
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You aren’t paying her fairly as it is. You definitely need to pay for your kids food.
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$40/ day And she supplies meals. You got lucky with that one as most charge more. I would have just venmod her.
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Time to find a new sitter. Clearly resentment is now there.
You’re not even paying her $10 an hour for childcare and she is providing meals? Maybe she should’ve said something before taking your child but you should’ve also just sent her the money. You could’ve even told her that next time you’d like to know ahead of time if that would keep it from being a bunch of drama but it sounds like this is probably not the first problem between the two of you since she now doesn’t want to watch your kid anymore.
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You should pay her for the food. $40 for 5 hours is not a lot.
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$40 a day for 5 hours and your worried about paying for half a meal? Wow.
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You don’t even pay her $10 an hour….
Most childcare is $17-$20 an hour, consider yourself lucky and pay her for the food
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Sounds like you would be better off with a more kind sitter.
You are wrong. But she shoulda talked to you first. Pay ur kids way. Period!!
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You should’ve payed for his meal. You were lucky to have her for $8 an hour. Good luck finding that anywhere Else.
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Shes underpaid, but she also decided to do both the job and the meal. Id just move on, but expect to pay more
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Yes you should of paid for it because it was an extra “ outing “ … like a field trip at day care … it is an extra expense … you should really be paying more for a sitter … my friend is a nanny a few days a week and goes to the home , they provide food , and gets 600 week ! Good luck with a new sitter
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I do home daycare, I provide meals and charge 40.00 a day (part time) (32.00 a day full time)for 8.5 hours a day… seems like I’m doing something wrong here lol 
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You pay 40.00 a day that would be 200.00 a week, who are these people commenting a daycare for all day everyday is cheaper than that.
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Sounds like you just lost a good thing…
Psh. I pay about 250 for roughly 15 hours a week. You have it so easy. For 40 bucks a day maybe she doesn’t have the extra money to pay for your sons meal out. He probably enjoyed it is it that much of an issue to give her an extra ten to take him out with them? Now instead you have all this tension and I really hope your son isn’t having to deal with any of it cause that is so unfair. If you can’t afford more than 8/hr no food provided or the occasional little kids meal outing then maybe you should just stay home and save that 120$. Your poor baby and that poor sitter. I was babysitting at 5-8/hr when I was a pre teen and teen. Now I’m 30 with two kids and one kid cost me roughly 16/hr for daycare. Inflation. Get with it.
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But personally I would have sent the money.
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You aren’t wrong. She shouldn’t have taken him. Better to find someone else.
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She shouldn’t ask you for the money she should’ve waited for your son to leave or do it a different day if she didn’t want to pay for him, however you don’t even pay her a liveable wage so she should’ve quit a long time ago!
$40 ÷ 5 is only $8 freaking bucks an hour… dude, DO BETTER and PAY FAIRLY… if I were your sitter I would’ve walked awhile ago…
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She was totally in the wrong You pay her to take care of your child during that time. IF she taeks him with her out to eat she is gettiing paid for that day irregardless if its at home, your home, her home at a restaurant at a store whereever. No special priveleges just because she took her son out at that opportune time. She could have waited until she was off work to do that if she didn’t want to pay for his meal as if he eats a lot geez what the heck was wrong with her.
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She definitely should have discussed her plans with you previously
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You’re 100% wrong, and you weren’t paying her enough to make it worth her while anyway.
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As a sitter I pay for the kids food if I take them out.
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Not even $10 an hour? You’re definitely in the wrong.
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Ok, most commenting must have never babysat out of their home. One person does not cover the whole hourly pay for a babysitter. When I babysat I charged $20 per day per child and I would have 5 children in my home from multiple people. So yeah the pay still sucked but $40 for only 5 hours is actually quite a bit around here especially if you have 5 kids you’re watching and if the babysitter said she would cover food and didn’t address this ahead of time then it’s on her. 
Sounds to me like it would be best to find someone new anyway since she’s going to be like that over what $7
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You give her $40 a day for 5 hrs that’s not even minimum wage and she covers his meals wow !!! Talk about taking advantage of people you should be ashamed to admit this is what you offer to pay the person who cares for your son and you don’t even provide his food what kind of parents doenst provide their child’s meals specially at $40 a day
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Ok, why aren’t we talking about you ONLY paying her $40 for 5 hours? $8 an hour? You are wrong, Venmo her the money.
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You pay her for the meal and you should also provide your child with food and snacks while he’s away from home. Also pay her a bit more. She’s watching your son. I’m sure she’d wouldn’t have quit on you if you weren’t so greedy.
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That’s $8 an hour & she feeds him while he’s there normally. You should be paying her more anyways. I would have walked away as well. & maybe she thought it would be fun/nice for your son to have an outing with other kids. I would have just sent the money.
At less than 10 dollars an hour. I would also quit. There is a difference between hotdogs, and mac n cheese at my house and a 15 dollar kidsmeal at chuckee cheese.
Id say pay her more or cut your loss and find a daycare you can pay that much.
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You’re in the wrong… she was basically doing you a favor bc u weren’t paying enough for it to be worth her while.
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Emily A Campbell read some of these
Girl good babysitters are like $15 an hour and up what are you doing I’m sorry that’s hard
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Absolutely not I wouldn’t
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Ummm $40 is not a lot of money…I’ll leave it at that because you obviously don’t know how much work it is.
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Obviously your sons best interest is not a priority for her and her not wanting to watch him sounds like a blessing in disguise.
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It is definitely over federal minimum wage and all of you saying she wasn’t paying her enough are crazy because whether or not you agree, It was what they agreed upon! Sheesh.
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I got $40 a day for like 8 hours a day when I was 15 and I was cool with that. As an adult now $40/5hrs wouldn’t be worth my time.
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Wtf that’s the cheapest childcare. Pay her! Geez!! She’s taking your son out too… 
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All of you are sitting here saying you aren’t paying her enough… Have you ladies even thought about the babysitter AGREEING TO THAT AMOUNT???
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I agree with both sides here… she shouldn’t have taken him out for food if you were expected to pay without asking if you even had the extra funds… but if you do have the money, it shouldn’t have been an issue whatsoever. Communication and comprehension are key in all types of relationships.
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She’s way underpaid and food money should be provided. If you don’t want to provide food money then provide the meals and snacks while he’s in her care and tell her you don’t want her taking him out to eat. She is way underpaid to begin with and to expect her to be providing his meals is ridiculous. I feel bad for this girl.
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Wait, you pay $40 a day??? That’s not even minimum wage. Shit I pay 165 for 3 half days.
Quit complaining and give her more money altogether
I’d stop babysitting your kid too Barely over federal minimum wage to protect and watch your child and then refuse to cover your childs meal out. Yuck all around.
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I think everyone is missing the point here. Wether you think she’s paying the sitter enough or not this is the AGREED upon rate between the two of them with meals included. I don’t know where some of you live but 40$ a day for daycare is the going rate around here WITH meals included. If the sitter wanted Mom to pay she should have brought it up to her beforehand and not just randomly asked her to Venmo her money so her kid could eat lunch. Would I have paid the sitter for the lunch? Probably because I’m not going to waste my breathe arguing with someone over a kids meal that might be what 8$? My opinion cut ties with her and send your kid to a reputable daycare so you don’t have to deal with petty stuff like this.
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The issue I see here is that you had an agreement and she decided to break it.
And now that she’s pulled out, you can move on. Because what else will you do? Chase her down? Then she’ll run over you because she knows you want her back. And it’s feel sus with her now anyway.
You stuck to your agreement and that’s that.
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You don’t know how good you had it! $40 a day and she provides the meals. What a deal!!! I would have venmoed her double my child’s meal. You have to take care of someone giving you such a good deal on childcare.
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It should’ve been discussed with you beforehand, in my eyes just for the simple fact she took your child out of the house, without you knowing prior. Even if it was for a sweet gesture she should’ve at least said “hey I’m taking him out? Ok?” Me personally id want to know if my son was going out for the day & where.
The people bitching that you don’t pay enough… well that’s what you two gals agreed upon right? So she must’ve been fine working for those $8 an hour/$40 a day. I mean, venmo’ing her some money for your kid isn’t that big of a deal either, you shouldn’t be stressing too hard about that. Literally like what? A few fucking bucks? As broke as I am, I still would’ve just shut my mouth and Venmo’d her the extra money.
But in the end, it probably should’ve been discussed about her taking your son out of said house for the day. Not over money though, it should be because ya’ll communicate about where and what your kid is doing. Don’t stress over it, if you guys don’t see eye to eye anymore go find a new babysitter and make sure you discuss everything you want with the new one.
If your child were in a daycare and they were going on a field trip you would pay extra, I would have even sent the kid a birthday gift. Now you are out a sitter over what a happy meal cost?
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I think sometimes you need to learn how to choose your battles and finding a good trustable sitter is hard. You lost a sitter your trusted over what? $10?
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Girl u underpaying this girl and then have the nerve to not wanna pay ur child’s portion for dinner. I am soooo happy u declined the money request and she finally stood up for herself and told u to hit the road. Everything happens for a reason and she literally needed to wake up and see ur little money wasn’t worth it at all
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Assuming she has your son for 8 hours, a typical work day, that is $5/hour. She is underpaid.
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Lol you’re wrong sis. $8/hr is extremely cheap when she’s providing everything for the child. It was her kids birthday, did you get her kid a card, a present, anything? Good luck finding another sitter, I would’ve bailed on you too. You should’ve offered to pay for his food from the start. “She could’ve taken him out the next day” ok so you tell your child on his next bday he can’t celebrate it until the day after bc you’re watching another persons kid. To me this sounds selfish and ridiculous
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You should be paying at least $100 a day for 4 hours of care and providing food. You are ripping your babysitter off
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$40 for 5 hours is super cheap. But if it includes meals, yes they should have paid for his meal.
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You’re kind of an a$@. It’s a kid. How much would you possibly have had to venmo? Less than 10? And youre already shortchanging her pay, 40 for 5 hours that’s 8$ an hour AND she provides the food?
Seems like she realized that you’re giving her crumbs and she doesn’t need the hassle.
Wow that’s more than I pay our daycare lady! My daughter goes all 5 days a week and she’s there from 7:30am - 5:00pm and all food & snacks provided and it’s $130/week which breaks down to $26/day. We love her too because she treats her like she’s her own.
Sitter should have asked first and given you the chance to keep him home.
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I would have sent the money because it was a special occasion.
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Right or wrong, she has the rights too her own decisions. While you feel the way you do, she probably feels the same
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Um ya. That’s your child. If she needs some extra money for YOUR child you give it to her regardless of your agreement…
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You both are in the wrong here. You are paying 8$ an hour to watch your kid. (That doesn’t even cover a meal served in your home plus snacks plus your time). She’s in the wrong because she should have prearranged taking your child out and asking you to pay. This could have all been avoided if a phone call was made, Babysitter: “I am planning on taking the kids out to lunch/dinner today. We are going to insert place do you mind paying for his portion of the meal?” Mom: “I didn’t really have that in my budget, can you just drop him off back at home on your way and I can make other arrangements?” Communication and respect is key and both of you dropped the ball. At the end of the day, I’d have been upset that they took my child out to eat and surprised me with the bill instead of giving me a heads up. I’d have paid it because it is my kid after all. You can’t be mad at her for not wanting to watch your kid anymore and she doesn’t have to explain to you her reasonings for not wanting to either. Her reasons are her own and maybe she finds it’s not worth the 8$ dollars an hour you pay her to deal with you. I’ve been in that position before. It had nothing to do with the kid or money, the mom was a bear and it wasn’t worth my time nor what little money she paid me to have her kid on top of my own. You both need to work on your communication.
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Nah. I’d definitely drop you as a client.
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I charge 20 a day for babysitting and that’s considered cheap…so if I was your babysitter I’d done same. You don’t pay enough and your not providing snacks or food so that’s out of her pocket. Really can’t blame babysitter.
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Are you really upset over paying for one meal? She could have just not taken him and where would you be? Shit, give up the $20 and say thank you.
$40 a day??? Damn I need her # 
I was asked for $120
So you lost a trusted sitter over maybe $10 … ridiculous in my opinion but hey to each their own . Good luck finding another sitter that will provide meals and care for $40 … I would have dropped you too .
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I’d say you’re probably right. Once you refused to venmo the money, she thought, I don’t get paid enough for this.
I will also say, she should have given you a heads up, so you could decide whether you were going to keep him home that day or pay for his meal.
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depending on where live - like i know in toronto babysitting is only $10.00 a day ! if i where to babysit i would only charge $15.00 a day why because money does not grow on tree’s ,but i would ask the mom if she could give snacks for child . that’s all i would ask for !if u live in the states well u got a lot of greedy people out there and half of them only want the money they really don’t care about the kid! babysitting they feel is a big job , mainly ones whom aren’t moms or don’t want to be moms. some people say kids are just a hassle ,no fun at all! me i love kids and have always,if i had 10 kids to babysit from each parent i’d only ask is that u pay up front the @15.00 .why because than this way i would have enough money to spend money on kids and no kid would be left ith nothing! so i feel no u should not give her the money ,cause she agreed to your terms from the start
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Multiple thoughts:
1.) She decided on own. Should not have asked.
2.) $8 an hour? That is not much. That is less than min wage in most states
3.) You still should have offered to pay half or some.
I would have quit too.
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Different states different rates! Quit bashing about they’re agreed amount!
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That’s $8 per hour ummm lucky she even watched the kid and at her home your responsibility most def to pay for your child’s meals not just that one either you should be sending good with the kid period
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She’s right and if you think you are then find another babysitter at that super low rate. you can’t force her to work and at this point she’s not making money. she definitely should of gave you a heads up etc but care is expensive so make your decision and live with the choice.
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In a butt shell. Yes. I’m not sure where you guys live I mean nobody would probably work for 8/ dollar an hour by where I live but regardless it certainly cover the cost of extras.
If your child went to school and they had a field trip it would cost you extra. It will cost you extra in the future. I know everyone’s struggling right now but as someone who professionally takes care of other people’s children, we put a lot of effort and kindness and love and attention into your child all day long. And it’s hard to do that to the best of our ability no other parents don’t respect or appreciate us. There’s a high demand for quality child care right now so she will probably feel his spot but you might have a hard time finding someone.
She should definitely be fair but you also can’t be cheap or passive aggressive. If it were me I would tell her that I rethought things and I would be happy to pay for the meal as well as an extra $20 for the misunderstanding.
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