In my state, that’s far below minimum wage.
Every time my teenage daughter babysits, she makes anywhere from 10-15$ an hour and the parents provide food.
I would have paid for the meal, it wouldn’t have been worth the drama or losing dependable childcare
No your right find another sitter.
It was her child’s birthday. You expect her to wait to celebrate until the next day because she had your son??? NOPE! The kid is 5. How much could he have eaten. Pay her for your kids meal since you’re already ripping her off on pay anyway.
You’re wrong. Period.
Idk where you are but here that is far below even minimum wage(half actually).
You should be providing food, shit every day really for that price, especially with grocery prices right now.
Also, to say she should do her child’s birthday dinner a different day is extremely rude. Glad you aren’t my employer.
$40 a day is nothing. It should probably be double that
You are wrong and self entitled…are you serious…yeah Shes smart to not watch your kid anymore.
You pay her 8$ an hour n thats suppose to cover food? What? Noo. Maybe if you actually paid fairly and enough then sure but in this case no. And you can’t expect her to change her child’s birthday for you.
I’d just send the money. Good daycare is hard to find 
Not worth the argument or losing daycare over $10.
I mean you’re already underpaying her plus having her supply the food too? Even without inflation that’s a rip off & she should not have to wait to take her kid to eat just cause she’s babysitting besides it would have been $10 or so not a big deal
Honestly she should have just told you she was unavailable and made you find alternate child care for that day. I’m sure that would have been easier for you that just paying for your child. 
This seems silly on your part to hurt a friendship and lose cheap, safe, reliable childcare over the cost of a kids meal, but do you.
You are not wrong. I would take him somewhere else or let him stay home with you and save yourself $120 a week.
You pay her $8 an hour to watch and feed you child. You are lucky to have been able to even find someone willing to do it for so little. While I wouldn’t necessarily be happy about the last minute decision to take your child out. Bad planning on her part. In opinion you should have just sent her the money. I would have stopped taking care of your child too.
He’s your son ,pay for his extra activities. She should have gave you advance notice and given you options to not bring him that day in advance but ya you need to pay for your child . This from a mother of two grow kids , I always paid for them and others if need be . Plus if you knew it was her sons bday you could have brought a small gift for your son to give .
You pay her less then 10 a hr to care for your most precious treasure .
Ok first of all the sitter agreed to that amount & minimum wage for in home child care is appropriate. She apparently agreed that she would provide meals. I get that it’s her kid’s birthday. So she should have told this mom that she couldn’t keep her child that day & at the very least she should have mentioned it to the mom beforehand. If she worked outside her home, she would have had to work around her child’s birthday or ask for the day off. Mom u r NOT the a$$hole!
So you’re saying you pay your sitter 8$/hr and you expect her to feed YOUR child on her income?? That is half of minimum wage…
Please feed your own children (or send food with them) if you pay your sitter well below minimum wage. If you choose not to support the outings, then make arrangements that work for the both of you.
The key is communication (and for people to stop expecting everything in life to be free or given to them because they made a grown up decision to have children).
Much love 
Ehh, you were already getting a fantastic deal… Did you consider that maybe that was the only day she could take her kid out for their birthday and was nice enough to incorporate your child? The babysitters world should not revolve around when she has your child especially not for 40 dollars a day. I charged 10 a hour when I was 13… that was 15 years ago and I definitely wasn’t expected to feed the kid out of my own money. You really could have just paid for your kid’s food and kept ripping this woman off if you weren’t so petty 
I used to watch one of my coworkers kids (we worked alternate weekends) I never expected her to pay for his food above the money she paid me for the time I was watching him. If we went out that was my choice so was the takeout. She is just nickel and diming you. Find a new sitter.
Yoy pay her 8 dollars an hour… pay for your son’s meals
40$/day
5hrs/day
That is $8.00/hour:thinking:
I mean…. You are underpaying her to begin with…. You could have kept him home that day 
For what’s best for you if there was an agreement of what amount of funds then non of any ones business sometimes just going the extra Mile can be win win for all yes money important yes we all need it but it doesn’t make us happy I been stigmatized over the last 5 years when I have had sitters cause I am a single mom pay full rent and only work pt therefore I don’t have extra cash to give but what I do is offer a ride in my car or offer other trades if I were to spend 15 an hour I would be I worse shape now then even. Maybe sit down with ur sitter and review whats going make changes if required hope you get this resolved
Wow. Minimum wage is up $15 in most places. You’re paying her $8 and expecting her to provide food as well. How is she expected to do that AND make a profit? I’d never work for so low in my life.
Well it looks like you will have to put your child in daycare. FYI, MOST daycares charge a weekly rate even if you only send your kids a couple days a week. Also, most times field trips would be an additional expense. Yes she should’ve let you know ahead of time what her plans were but if it was me, I would’ve sent her the money. 
Your kid got a chance to go out and celebrate a birthday. TBH, I would’ve quit too.
You think you pay too much??? Lmao go get daycare!!
$8 an hour untaxed isn’t bad. You’re not paying for a nany, or daycare, it’s a babysitter.
You’re not even paying her 10 dollars an hour to watch your child… that’s not enough money and honestly I’d be telling you I need to more pay everyday I have your child and you’re now paying for meals if you refused to help me pay for your child’s food at my child’s birthday… you made me take care of your child on my son’s birthday where we already had plans?.. You’re paying for your kids food, if you don’t then my prices just went up to 80 a day and you paying for food. Or you can go find somewhere that will charge you only 40 a day in daycare and provides food.
You’re a joke 
Wrong, you’re asking your sitter to pay for your child out of money she worked for. Not just the one time either, but all the days she has him… You’re technically ripping her off.
I would have paid the money, it was over & beyond a normal meal. And $8 an hour to watch a child is a steal. You’d be paying a lot more than $40 at a daycare
40$ a day?? Lmao it’s like 600+ for daycare now. It’s insane on top of 40$ a day ain’t squat
Yup u wrong $10 wouldn’t have gutted u . Now you’ve lost a baby sitter and u definitely will pay more than $40 with meals provided
Omg $40 a day? That’s not even enough. Plus you want her to pay for the food? I would’ve told you to get bent
You pay $8 hr for her to take care of your child. That’s crazy to begin with. Pay for the meal!! I don’t blame her for not wanting to watch your child anymore.
I see it as she’s doing you a favor. Child care generally is about $20 an hour. You’re paying her less than half of that. It should be a problem to give her a bit of money to take your child out to eat considering she could have told you she was unavailable because they are celebrating her child’s birthday.
What is up with everyone thinking they don’t have to even pay minimum wage to the people who watch your children, provide food, and everything else you do to care for a child. This is starting to make me extremely livid. I’d laugh in someone face if they offered me 40 a day to watch their child and wanted me to cover food. Like wtf. Minimum wage in my state is 13.50 an hour!
You should be willing to pay over minimum wage to someone you’re allowing to have control your child’s welling being, they should be worth more then minimum wage. Because they are doing everything. Usually including teaching your child new stuff, feeding, playing with your child, sometimes potty training.
If going to a day Care Center there is extra to pay for every little thing. Trips picnics outside the center extra. You should have just paid for the child’s meal.
For everyone saying the girl is underpaid, this kind of agreement is usually discussed between parent and sitter beforehand. The sitter didn’t have to agree to any of it. She was probably sitting home doing nothing and decided to take in a child to make some extra $$. So what’s being paid is not the issue. Mom might also be underpaid and is paying what she can afford. If paying for this extra meal is a big deal then likely mom can’t afford it. Stop assuming people in the service industry are the only ones with empty pockets. 2nd, sitter should have given mom advance notice that they were going to lunch that day and that if the child would be joining them mom would need to send some extra $$. This should’ve been discussed before the event, not after. So I’m gonna side with mom here
40 a day is nothing. My sons day care was 800 a week !! I worked 2 jobs to pay for it. Why should she spend her money on your son when the pay is Pennies. 10 bucks to send her for his meal is perfect. You are very wrong and cheap
If you’re providing all means I’d say 50/day if you want her to provide all the meals I’d say 75 a day
Paying someone for child care is honestly so double standard if you have your own kids you get paid nothing to take care of them (of course your responsibility completely understandable) but if your a minimum wage worker yourself and you pay a babysitter minimum wage to watch your kids your virtually never really making a pay check because it all goes to child care for you to work to in the end not make any money anyways 
. I know cause I have done it until it got to the point where I was like what’s the point all my income goes to someone else to watch my kids when I can just do it and not have income since it’s the same outcome lol the struggles of a single mom that most people what to ignore. 
I’d like to know where you all live that you’re giving this mom the 3rd degree on ONLY paying $40 for 5 hrs? If she lives in a small town, like I do, then that’s a fair rate as I see it. And why tell the mom she’s in the wrong, if this is what the sitter agreed to then it’s not mom’s fault. Isn’t it the provider who sets the rates? That’s what I did. I didn’t let my parents decide what to pay. If the child was only there for 5 hrs, maybe sitter could have gone after child left.
Wooooooooooooow.
That was cute. There’s no way. You’re dead wrong. Goodbye.
$40 a day. $120 for 3 days. divide by 5 hours. $8 a hour. your loss on this one. maybe send her half and she’ll forgive yoy
I would of pay then discussed, cause I want my child caregiver and I to communicate
You’re not wrong! $40 a day where I’m at is great for home care.
Yeah you’re definitely in the wrong. $40 a day is an absolute steal. And you refused to pay your your own kids meal while she was going out with him?
Wow
$40 a day for 5 hours including meals is a slap in the face for a babysitter, as other people have said good luck finding someone else who will be willing to be paid peanuts like that
I bet u wish u hadn’t posted this hey zz
Uhhh I wouldn’t want her to watch him anymore. That was her choice to take him… I’d pick him up, give her $5 and tell her F off. A 5 year old barely eats anyway.
Omg if I’m gonna pay someone way over minimum wage to watch my child, then I’m definitely dictating what she will and won’t be doing with my child… just like any other job then…m
You should have paid for the meal. She’s taking good care of your child with just 40/day…see it as gratitude for taking good care of a precious life. Eventho, sitter agreed to provide meals… Too bad you didnt think of it this way, good luck finding another sitter.
I had an at home daycare in 2016-2018 . I charge 30 a day (went up towards the end to 35) and I provided the food/snacks . If I ordered pizza or something, the kids always got some too . No extra charge, if they missed days I didn’t charge either . I had more kids and decided to take a break from all that so I closed . But gave everyone enough time to find another daycare
I have my diploma for early childhood education
You’re taking the biscuit!
Yes you are in the wrong. The babysitter is only making 8 dollars an hour for watching your child. She also provides her own groceries to feed him. I don’t blame her for quitting. It sounds like you are using her. Not only that, but it was for HER child’s birthday. You can’t expect her not to celebrate her child’s birthday. “She could have taken her kid out the next day, as she wouldn’t have your son”? Are you serious? You seem very rude. I would quit working for you too.
Everyone in these comments is wrong sorry yall. The babysitter AGREED to provide food. They didn’t discuss with mom going about going out so babysitter is wrong. Babysitter could’ve waited til the child was picked up or gone before the child was in her care instead of just assuming mom would pay for a meal she wasn’t expecting to pay for. Lack of communication and lack of respect from babysitter cause what if mom didnt have the extra money? How can you expect someone to just fork over money? I certainly cant just do that whenever. Yall bashing her like there wasnt an agreement the babysitter said yes to by choice!
$40 a day?!? Just pay the money and get over it. Tell her to discuss it with you ahead of time next time.
Girl no! I would never ask for$ for a child’s food that I’m watching when I decided to take that child out. No she’s in the wrong you need a better baby sitter anyway
Maybe it’s just me, well no, I doubt it is, but I would NEVER have a problem sending my child’s babysitter money for food or anything else. Especially if my child is out having fun with her and her kids. I find it odd that you even refused to do it to be honest 
Just pay for the meal, it isn’t a big deal. I pay $30/day to a fantastic daycare. I also pay her holidays (she didn’t ask) and 50% if I take vacation and 10% if she takes vacation (a little more if I can afford it). Also, I send a little extra food now and then. She watches daughter full time and my son when he isn’t in school 7:30am-6pm Monday-Friday. And also does really nice things for the children. I try to keep a good thing going.
Is this for real??? Lmao you’re in the wrong! Your sitter could’ve easily refused to even take care of your kid that day!
Dude, just pay her. Finding a reliable and trustworthy babysitter is worth its weight in gold. Minimum wage is $15/hr and you’re paying her $8/hr. Also, it’s not like he ate steak & lobster. The meal couldn’t have been THAT much.
She should have discussed with u ahead of time. If someone expects me to miracle cash on the spot, they better play the lotto. Better odds. I have a tight budget so every cent is accounted for. Why did she do something like that while she was working?
Just pointing out an observation: Almost every single person on this comment section that supports the mom is older in age. Most seem to be 50+. The problem is that there is a very real and damaging disconnect between the generations. $40/day isn’t anything. Especially when you consider that you’re paying someone else to raise your child for you 3 days a week. I honestly can’t even begin to understand how some people think $40/day is adequate pay for ANY job, much less child care. Rent is around $1000/month pretty much anywhere you live, if not more. Even if they babysat your child every day in the month they’d only make around $1,100/month. How can you expect someone to pay for your child’s food when you don’t even pay them enough to live?
I’m at babysitter as well and I don’t charge extra when going out places cause their food is included in what I charge so rather if they eat at my house or eat out its all the same they have to eat regardless
You’re cheap!!! Wowww. 40$ for 4 hours is so cheap. I wish I had someone like that. Here it’s 25 per hour! More per child added.
You really act as if she should put her child on hold just because she has hers? Expeiclaly as it a a birthday dinner. And only $40 a day isn’t much at all expecially if it ends up being expensive for birthdays if she decides to do a party or something on the day she doesn’t have your child. Pay up for the meal and be done. It would be maybe $10 for your child’s meal while she pays for her her child and whoever she may be with plus presents and birthday party etc.
Yes. Yes you are wrong. She’s doing you a favor because she is watching your child for 8 dollars an hour. This was one time, you could have thrown her 10-15 bucks.
I see several people on here saying that they used to babysit for $15/day or some craziness like that. If that’s the case then you were being taken advantage of. That’s no reason to expect others to take the same abuse and neglect that you suffered through.
Find a high school kid wanting to make some summer cash and pay them less for those times… at your own home away from your work area! My children (12 & 5) are home while I work from home and while it took a few days for the 5 year old to understand he has to be quiet and not interrupt, it’s been the BEST to have my kids home where they’re comfortable while I work
I agree with mom on this. I think childcare is ridiculous to begin with especially at home childcare. If that’s was the agreement she probably was just sitting home with her children anyways and offered and agreed to the agreement for extra cash not as a job. If she wanted a job than go out and get one. If she didn’t have the money to take them child out age should have discussed this with the mother before hand or made arrangements with her for that day obviously she had the money or she wouldn’t have gone out. She just wanted extra for having to spend money and shared her child’s b day meal with another child other than hers.
I’d pay it. How much could a 5 year olds meal possibly be?
Yea, cause $8/hour is plenty I bet your job pays you alot more than that!
You’re definitely wrong. Sorry.
40 dollars will not get you professional care. ?
Sounds like she is a douchebag.
Pick your battle. Childcare or chicken fingers?
My daughter gets $20-$25 per hour. I’m not sure $40 per day actually cuts it
When your child starts school there is a school registration fee…sports fee, and lunch meal fee…When you buy new glasses you have a fee for the doctor, the frame and the Leans…
She is taking care of your baby for waaaaaay cheap so I would definitely pay for his food.
You are wrong. How much was it? $10? You barley pay minimum wage to have some one care for your child and you don’t want to spend that tiny bit more? It’s just rude.
This has got to b a joke! If not glad she dumped you. Ur offended someone asked you to buy your child food 
, ridiculous.
$40 a day really isn’t a lot………… My thing is if 1 time you have a problem with the sitter asking for a little extra to make sure your child can be included in the celebration (and NO her child shouldn’t have to wait to celebrate bc of yours) then you need to ask yourself why?
Nope not wrong, her loss.
Just saying you’re taking advantage of that poor lady and you really should put your kid in actual daycare so you can see how entitled you sound
Venmo her the full amount plus some for dealing with this 
She takes care so you can work, I woulda paid for my child it’s the right thing to do a little extra here and there most sitters charge you for the whole week these days whether your child attends or not. Now you didn’t pay so now you have to find another sitter. I wouldn’t be too stuck on the subject it’s done and over with so find a new one and move on life’s to short to be upset about something you can’t change
I’m betting that for this mom, a) money might be tight and most importantly b) the sitter didn’t discuss this with her ahead of time. And the sitter is NOT raising that child for 5 hrs a day, she’s simply watching him. She could be paying 10$ or 2$ an hr and still if that sitter didn’t discuss this ahead of time, the sitter is in the wrong. I’m a sitter as well, with a very rambunctious Lil guy, this is something I’d not ever do, I would always discuss this ahead of time, if money was that important to me.
If I had the money to spare, I’d have just paid it. If not, I would have explained I didn’t have the money and if she had told me of her plans, I’d have told her I didn’t have the money.
You lack ALL the proper home training 
$40 for 5 hours AND has to provide meals… 
yikes girl… yikes. You are getting deal of the century an need to pay her for any restaurant meals or outings. Cause when she quits on you because she realizes she’s worth at least double or triple what you give her its gonna cost you.
Does it matter who’s right or wrong? She asked for money to feed your child, and because of your reaction you lost a babysitter. Was it worth it?
If you need a sitter I have my bestfriend does babysitting we are in Washington state? I mean we all have job sometimes they don’t pay much
Yes you are wrong ! Minimun wage is more then $8.00 an hour your paying this lady . Then to feed your child takes away from that too . So your paying her like $7.00 an hour then complain about paying for your childs food out to eat …
Yeah you’re wrong… As a mom now and previous nanny… I never would have agreed to that low of pay… Goodness. She’s smart to drop you if you are pitching a fit over something so simple. And it’s not fair to ask her to postpone her child’s birthday 
like that seems selfish tbh…
I would have asked earlier on with more notice and then just “called out” that day, Or told you to find alternative arrangements so I wouldn’t be taking an extra kid with me… it’s one thing to pay for food at my home where I buy bulk and the meals are miniscule in cost and another to pay when we’re going out.
So you’re paying her less than minimum wage and expecting her to buy your kid food? Nah.
So you pay her $8/ hr to watch your son and he gets to go to a bday party with this package and she still needs to pay for your son’s food. Girl, you lost her. Yo should be grateful to her asking so little to watch and be thankful your son gets to go to a Party to have some fun and offer to pay the whole amount for the meal ! Omg……
Whoa, um no. You pay her $50 per day for 5 hours, 3 times a week. It wasn’t unfair of her to ask. And it certainly isn’t fair that you expect her to put her child off for yours. I think it was awesome she still watched your child on her child’s day and thought to include yours. What’s another 10 to 20 bucks when you obviously trust this person to watch your kid? I don’t blame her for telling you she won’t watch your son anymore. Offended? I feel like you should be a bit ashamed for being offended.
What is it worth it? I’m sure the next sitter that you hire is going to charge more than she did
Nah. You’re barely paying her enough. For 5 hours when I was a nanny I made 100$ and ALWAYS used my money to cover their food or toys
She was CHEAP COULD. NOT BUY A LITTLE BOY LUNCH AT $ 4 an HOUR WOW. MONEY MONEY IS ALL GREEDY PEOPLE THINKS ABOUT NO COMPASSION ANYMORE
Your wrong. 8.00 is nothing
If she is feeding your child her pay should be alot more. Daycare is expensive.
You’re ripping that poor lady off.
You’re wrong and lost a sitter over $10