I’m not sure where you live but in my small town daycare is $100 a week and she provides breakfast, lunch, and snacks.
I agree with you. I would be offended that she asked when she is the one that made that decision to take your son out and it was agreed that she would provide food while in her care.
$40 for 5 hours!? Hell I use to get paid $1 an hour & fed the kid & everything. Your not wrong.
Daycare is ruffly $140 a week in Florida some a tad bit more and some less
That equals out to $28 a day
Parents provide lunch and that’s 8-12 hours of care
Private sitters here are $40-50 for the entire day doing in home child care
“Babysitting” for like date night etc is $8-$10 an hour but that’s completely different
Don’t allow others to make you feel as if you are underpaying or doing anything wrong
I do see your point about meals are provided
But honestly … your child went and had fun … it was prob $5-15 bucks
Just pay it and be thankful for the outing and memories he/she was able to make
I would of offered to send extra cash with my child in case they wanted anything special or etc
It was an outing , it’s not unreasonable she’s asking for that
Just pay it with a happy heart and be thankful he/she got out of the house and had a great day 
Honestly $40 is not a lot for a babysitter plus having to pay for his meals. You should pay $40 and provide his food and necessities for during the time she watches him
You are very much in the wrong. I wouldn’t watch your kid either. First of all how are you only paying her $8/hr when she is providing food while he is in her care? And then to say she could have taken her son out the next day…. It’s his birthday? How entitled are you? Gross! You need to reevaluate some things
$40 a day isn’t crap especially if she has to provide meals?! That’s $8 an hr! Idk why anyone would agree to that little.
Girrrrrll you are tripping!!!
You’re paying her the most measly wage, to watch your son! You better get used to a noisy house while you work, bc the pay that you’re offering, is LAUGHABLE!
eh I’d say you were wrong based off the info given 
she’s not making really anything and all she asked for was a little help. you won’t find help like that again I can tell you that…sorry. I hope you get it figured out. I would apologize and offer to pay her more.
8 dollars an hour isn’t even min wage fyi
Yes! You are paying her barly over minimum wage. That really does not pay for her time and his food. And then she included your child in a bday lunch and you don’t want to pay for his lunch? Yea i wouldn’t watch your child anymore either.
No your not wrong at all she can make food at your house for him to eat she can make plans snacks I’m not trying to hear none of that I deal with kids all my life and work in daycares and went to parenting class a child needs to eat healthy food from home and pay rate is fine
She provided a fun day for your child. I would have venmoed her the money amd a little extra foenher child’s birthday. Not too much to ask at all
It’s her child’s birthday. Your sounding a bit selfish. She is not obligated to settle for what she is while babysitting your child and also feeding him. Food is not cheap. Especially if she’s going out to eat. The least you could do is pay for your child to eat or keep him at home. 
You should definitely be paying for your child’s food, most people actually supply lunch boxes or pre-made meals. She is also giving you a really good rate for the cost of childcare these days. Most meals cost at least $5, unless she’s making it from scratch, but still…she’s paying out a lot of her pay for your kids food. It wouldn’t be worth my time, either
You’re paying her like 8 dollars an hour. I think that you are very wrong for expecting her to take her child out for her child’s birthday a different day. She should have told you that she was taking her child out so you can either make other arrangements or give her extra money. 40 dollars for 5 hours is good if you’re a teenager but not as an adult who has their own children and household bills to pay for. I am glad that she said she can’t take your child anymore bc she deserves better.
No you aren’t wrong. But if someone doesn’t want to keep my child, I wouldn’t want them to. Time to find a new sitter.
For everyone saying she’s not paying enough, please remember it absolutely depends where you live. Minimum wage is $11 in my state. Full-time is like $400/wk.(before taxes come out) So no one is paying $250+ for babysitting part-time 
I think Alabama minimum wage is still $7/hr. So do the math.
People are missing the point here! The Woman had an agreement with this babysitter,the babysitter is Wrong!
you should just go ahead and pay for it as appreciation than losing a babysitter for few bucks.
Uh yeah…you are COMPLETELY in the wrong.
No, when I babysit in the summer. I charge 30$ a kid per day. If I wanted to go and do something with them I always paid if it was my idea. Now the parents if THEY wanted me to do something with their kids they pay for that said thing.
As a childcare provider, I get paid $25 an hour and THEY support their OWN kids food. If it’s her sons birthday you can’t expect her to just plan around it because of your kid. Honestly you’re really lucky that she was willing to do it at all for that price. I would’ve stopped babysitting for you before this even happened.
I find it comical that you just didn’t send the money. He’s 5 so what $10 your the one that needs a sitter for 3 days to have complete silence. Yes your already paying her enough as you say BUT your child is being cared for and you have no worries, know you have no one. Ijs was it worth it! She wanted to take her child out on his bday not the next day and she could have told you not to bring your child but she continued with her obligation to you. So I’m my opinion yes your wrong.
If we get a sitter just to go out for 3 hour ton4 hour hours I give them 50 bucks plus being them back a meal even though they can make what ever is in the house and pay a cab home cause we come home at 2am
You should be happy child’s included and got out at that rate of pay you should gladly support your child on a meal and the babysitter
You pay $40 a day for 5 hours?! And she has to provide food for your child on a daily basis? She asked you to pay for half of your child’s food, not half of the entire bill. I bet you’d be offended if only gave your kid goldfish crackers while they were out and they ate an actual meal. I think SHE dodged a bullet by stopping to help you out.
I would have paid for my child and her child and wished him a happy birthday.
She shouldn’t have to ask you to pay. I don’t think she’s making enough to pay for your child’s good each day either but that’s just my opinion. If your child is safe, happy and well taken care of, I’d try and get back in her good graces.
I honestly think you are in the wrong I don’t know what the rates for daycare is in the US but in the uk $40 is £32 so for 5 hours she’s getting $8 or £6 an hr that’s below minimum wage even in UK and over here you’d provide lunchbox absolutely or you’d be paying a lot more for lunch expenses included, they went out for a nice treat meal surely you’d want to pay for your child to be involved in that because it sounds to me like you’ve got a very good deal going on with that childminder in the first place… just my opinion
I don’t think her wanting money for his portion of a meal out is unreasonable at all. In my opinion, you are underpaying her to begin with, AND she provides his meals?! What?! The only thing I think wrong on her part is, she should have let you know ahead of time that she planned on going out. But for you to flat out refuse to pay for your own kids meal, wowwwww.
Don’t know where you are from, but where I live day rates are $30 (that’s for 9 hr days) and we provide food. When I take the kid out I watch, I pay her food too. Here it’s day rate, not hourly. But when parents go out on a date, my teenagers go babysit and they get $10 hr. But in my eyes, you are not wrong. $40 for 5 hrs is good and a kid that age won’t eat much.
Don’t be greedy I think $40 is plenty a five-year-old isn’t going to eat that much I watch my great-granddaughter everyday for nothing so $40 is plenty get real people
If you’re only paying her $40 a day you should be providing the kids food just saying.
Don’t feel attacked by the negative comments. 40 is plenty for 5 hours and if it was already established then no you shouldn’t feel wrong. I feel you both were helping each other out and she got a bit greedy maybe is having financial trouble Don’t take it to personal and just move on these things happen.
I would of Venmoed her money and not thought anything of it. I pay my night sitters $12 an hour and give them a credit card to get food for them and my son and gas for taking him out to eat .
You pay $40 a day for 5 hours?! And she has to provide food for your child on a daily basis? She asked you to pay for half of your child’s food, not half of the entire bill. I bet you’d be offended if only gave your kid goldfish crackers while they were out and they ate an actual meal. I think SHE dodged a bullet by stopping to help you out.
40 for 5 hours? You’re lucky to have her
Hahaha until you have been a care provider you have no idea all that it goes into giving care to children even if you have 5 of your own. Not only the food. But it’s the time and educational activities you do. I don’t think the child sits in front of the TV for those 5 hrs. It’s draining and tiresome for 40 buck/5 hrs she is actually doing you a grand favor! If you agreed that your son would be taken to a place for her sons birthday (care providers don’t just decide to take kids places it’s a liability) the nicest thing to have done is to send a gift and a little extra cash for his meal.
At this point I wouldn’t trust her to watch my child
I would of been grateful my kid was included and Venmo money
Not wrong but get someone else to watch your child. Someone who cares more for your child than the money.
No. Your deal was to include meals. Was petty of her to ask
Hahaha until you have been a care provider you have no idea all that it goes into giving care to children even if you have 5 of your own. Not only the food. But it’s the time and educational activities you do. I don’t think the child sits in front of the TV for those 5 hrs. It’s draining and tiresome for 40 buck/5 hrs she is actually doing you a grand favor! If you agreed that your son would be taken to a place for her sons birthday (care providers don’t just decide to take kids places it’s a liability) the nicest thing to have done is to send a gift and a little extra cash for his meal.
Well, that isn’t a livable wage but it is part time. I think since you guys had an agreement and she didn’t talk to you in advance could have put you in a bad spot if you had a lot of bills that week. She made an assumption. She should have paid
In school you’ll have to pay for field trips and sometimes there is an added food cost and no availability to pack your kid a lunch. Have you seen the rising cost of food prices in the stores? She’s feeding your kid for like five bucks or more a day and that comes out of HER pocket.
I would’ve appreciated her taking my son out and sent the money, no problem. 40/ day is not alot especially if your child is younger than 5. That was definitely a reasonable request on her part.
Lol, what gets me is you said it’s the child’s birthday yet you said she should have waited until the next day to celebrate HER CHILD’S birthday. Lol. I mean, I would have just paid for it. She’s babysitting, though. No one really likes babysitting so maybe she’s hurting for cash. I wonder if she let your son starve? 
I really don’t think it’s ever an occurrence where she takes your child out to eat like that, either. She probably makes food at her place. Which is probably something along the lines of Mac n cheese and some kinda fruit. That they already have there. I would have paid for my son, no problem. Daycares are more expensive, and you provide e v e r y t h i n g.
$8/hour and you complaining about sending some money for food. Good luck finding anywhere for that amount of pennies. AND she feeds him. You messed up.
I babysit a hand full of kids. If I chose to get food or take the kids out, that’s on me. I pay for their food, end of story. The kids nor the parents asked for them to be taken out. Plus you pay her very well enough for her to afford one freaking meal for your child. It’d ditch the sitter and find a new one. She’ll regret it.
Caring for your child is her job. she agreed to said job. She should have asked you in advance if it was okay.
$40?!? She needs more $ and YES pay for your child’s food! Heck, maybe a birthday card/gift for her kiddo even! Sheesh!
Lordy Mercy. You should count your lucky stars that she was being responsible and inviting your child to an intimate family outing but you are being petty. Too bad you didn’t tell us how much she asked for so we could make a more educated decision in how to respond to your " situation"
So if she asked you for $100 I would say she was crazy. If she asked you for $10 which I’m assuming is the normal nationwide rate for a Kid Menu plate then you should have sent the money!
Do you know how hard it is to find child care right now? How expensive child care is? Yeah, you’re in the wrong. And YOU made it so she doesn’t have time. If she can’t take your child with her for special moments with her own kids, then yep. She doesn’t have time to watch your child anymore.
I don’t know why you guys think this pricing isn’t right. I pay 35/day for a state daycare for 5 days a week. That is pretty typical.
She’s already doing you a favor babysitting at the rate she is, otherwise you’d pay those daycare fees which you seem to know is more, and with the rising costs of groceries, even providing meals for your child is taking from what you’re paying her so you’re really really getting over. Pay for your child to attend the party and be grateful she has your back.
Yup you’re in the wrong completely. Good luck trying to find a sitter now too. You’re a selfish person especially if you think she should’ve waited to take HER son the day after his birthday 
you could’ve just venmo her money for your sons meal. Do u not realize how much food is and she’s feeding your kid along with her kids 
gotta be kidding me
Making a kid a PB&J at their house while they are in your care is fine. But if she took him out, I don’t see why you wouldn’t venmo her the money to pay for his meal. Treat your child care providers like the gold rock stars they are because the good ones are irreplaceable.
Wth is wrong with you
She is making $8 an hour if you send him to daycare it’s a $50 minimum a day. If she worked at a daycare she’d make $11/12 an hr.
Wow… She took him for his birthday… Wouldn’t that be considered a bday gift?
That’s only $8 an hour! You definitely should have sent her the money! It was her child’s birthday dinner. You should be grateful she included your son instead of leaving you with out a sitter for the day!
I would have just asked her to pay and reimbursed her for it during her pay period
That’s exactly the reason she doesn’t want to keep your son anymore! Find another sitter.
I watch a 3yr old from 530am-4pm for $50! Your trippin good luck finding another sitter lol
I always send extra money for my kids to do extra things! She is making your son feel included and making sure he has a good time!
Also your paying her to little. Send food for your kid!!!
I would’ve venmoed the money. Going out to eat is expensive these days. If someone is willing to take my crazy kids with them to eat, I’ll absolutely pay for it.
When good help is so hard to find, things like this shouldn’t even be an issue. Pay people who work hard and take care of your loved ones. You were basically paying her $10/hr which isn’t much at all. I’m not sure where you live but in Connecticut, babysitters are paid at least $15/hr.
I don’t find her rate to be out there. It’s money under the table & mist licensed in home daycares are $60 for a full day so $40 for 5 hours is absolutely reasonable.
With regard to the restaurant I think it was tacky she asked for it but I think it’s ignorant that you refused to under the premise she didn’t have to take him. I’m a mom of 3 - anytime my kids go out with someone I ALWAYS offer to cover them. It’s respectful. Regardless if I knew they were going or not when we made original plans, if someone treats my child I absolutely think it’s the mature action to at least offer to pickup your kids tab. This is also the case when my kids were in daycare. If the ice cream truck came and the owner treated every parent would contribute.
Sorry as that’s probably not the answer you wanted, but you are in the wrong here.
Honestly. 40$ for five hours isn’t all that much to watch a child to me anyway. If they go out should give a little xtra.
Yeah your wrong… I wouldn’t babysit for you
Also want to add you’re lucky she was even willing to babysit on her kids birthday, as well as including him and taking him out with them.
Its only a few bucks I’d just pay it so you don’t lose the sitter and move on. Not worth looking for new childcare over. I do agree tho that she willingly took your kid out she should pay it. She could have waited til your kid was picked up.
Sounds like you screwed that one up over a happy meal. Child care is hard to find especially cheap child care good luck with that
You are wrong $8 an hour is very cheap day care and what parent wouldn’t pay for a meal out once in a while? I’m sure ur child had a blast!
If you have a good relationship with the sitter, your child likes her, and she takes good care of your child (which is hard to come by) why not just once say sure I’ll venmo you a little extra? It’s not like she was asking for $100. You aren’t even paying her minimum wage. You could’ve chosen to be a good “employer” and taken the high road here. Ridiculous on your part. And now you’ve lost your sitter.
I dont know why people just dont go straight to daycare, if you are going to be paying for a service, especially for your most precious child, wouldnt you want the best…I mean you pay for what you get. Plus, $40 isnt much and I think she is wrong for asking you for money, because honestly how much is a meal for a 5 year old? Any kid with me eats if we are out eating, I dont know why people make such a fuss over freaking food.
Your wrong sorry. That’s pretty cheap anyways
No you are absolutely correct
Oh yea, definitely send her the money! She’s only making $8 an hour.
So sick of people paying folks change to what he their children. $40 isn’t a fair price.
You’re paying for less than minimum wage, by like a lot… I think you can handle a meal, when she is supplying every other one… You have gotten really lucky with this arrangement.
You have to be joking??? How greedy and inconsiderate of you!!!
She’s not only working for long hours for pennies, giving you AND your son mental/emotional/physical labor, AND she was nice enough to want to include your son in a FUN activity!!! Yet… you can’t toss her a few more bucks so he can have a good time???
Im.glad the sitter bailed on you and I feel sorry for the kid smh
Ehh … I feel like she should have told you beforehand and all of this could have been avoided but I also feel like you could have just gave her the money because it was her kids birthday and she did not have to watch your kid on said day but she did and I also feel like you’re balsy and entitled for saying she could have taken her kid out on another day instead of the kids birthday
Yes you are wrong - I would have sent her the money
40.00 for 5 hours to watch ur child a d still provide meals… and she asked u to help out cuz she was treating her child to a birthday meal and needed u to pay half for urs and u vex. Wow… Advantageous ppl is all over… u still being rude by saying she could’ve taken her child the next day . She shouod have told u it’s her child birthday and she isn’t available let’s see who you’d get to pay 40.00… you were wrong…
Gosh where I live its 20+ an hour!!
I would not have asked you to pay for his meal. Kids meals are cheap.
You’re definitely wrong. You expect this woman to not take her son out on his birthday because your son is there and you don’t want to pay for his food?? Plus, $40 a day is a DEAL! Put him in daycare and you’ll be paying double that AND have to provide every meal/snack and drink he has.
The meals you claim she is supposed to provide is probably from her home. Taking your child out to eat is a different story. Why would you not just send her the money? It was probably fun for your son to be included in her child’s celebration. She should have told you she couldn’t babysit because she was celebrating her child’s bday. Would you have preferred that? Now you lost a good babysitter, was it worth the $10-$15 bucks it might have costed?
$40 for 5 hours, plus providing food? Dude that’s cheap and you should 100% help provide food if she asks.
Underpayment in the first place, pay what she deserves
At the rate you’re paying her, you should have paid for all of their meals as a birthday gift.
That’s $8/hour 
that can’t include his food
You pay $40 a day and she doesn’t supply food?! Holy moly.
No you’re not wrong. Especially if you guys have an agreement that she provides food for your child. Weather that be food she makes or food she buys.
$40 is really cheap for babysitting
You’re paying her $8 an hour… If anything you’re underpaying her. Good luck finding someone else to watch your kid for that cheap.
I mean you aren’t paying her much of anything so I don’t see a problem lmao. McDonald’s is expensive and you pay her just above minimum wage. Like seriously?
Venmo the money to her she’s only getting 8 an hour from you. That’s not good at all.
Your not going to find a sitter for less you also aren’t going to find a stranger or someone your not very close with to watch your child for more then just money seeing as that’s why people work is to make money.
Wow, your lucky to be paying that price. Child care where I am is around $35 an HOUR. If you appreciate the worker youd be willing to pay in my opinion.