Yelp you were wrong for not feeding your son. Listen you need to understand that you’re paying her $8 an hour. Do you really think that somebody gone feed your child off of 8$ hr ? Get your own child and deal with the noise and responsibility of having to work and be a parent daily. You don’t pay enough for her to do all that.
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I babysit I wouldn’t even consider babysitting for you $25 a day for 5 hours no
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OK let me get this straight, you pay the sitter $8 an hour, which is $40 for the day for three days a week for five hours each day. She provides food for your kids during that time period which can be an estimate of $5. So that takes away a portion of what she’s being paid to provide for your child. I’m gonna be blunt, if you were to take your child to a daycare for the three days a week for five hours a day you’re gonna be paying more than $40 for the day, you were gonna have to provide food for your child or they provide it and you pay them for them providing it. So you’re getting a better deal and you want to complain about having to pay a few bucks for your kids meal. You feel she should be obligated to pay for your kids meal whatever they want to eat. She asked you politely. If I were her I would’ve asked you I would’ve told you this what you need to pay for your kids meal. Well I understand she was taking it out because it was her kids birthday so she was taking them out for something to eat she didn’t wanna be disrespectful to your kid and not get them something because you didn’t pay her for it but she think that she should be obligated to pay for your kids meal is really sad on your part. Now again read the comment where I stated about what the daycare does. You’ve got your self a nice little piece of the pie without actually having to pay for the real effort that goes into taking care of your child for that period of time. You get your kids meals for free which anywhere else would charge you for. So again you because she’s even providing your child a meal you are under paying her. You’re lucky she’s doing it for $40 for the day for five hours and not charging you more because if you go to someone else they’re going to charge more. Be glad and pay the woman some money for your kids meal.
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Baby $40? What the fck. MY FRIEND PAYS ME $50 TO WATCH HER CHILD FOR A FEW HOURS you should be LUCKY WOW this post lmao
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Totally in the wrong. 1. For only paying her $40 a day even it’s only for 5 hrs 2. For have her provide meals for little one especially sense your only paying hee $40.
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40 for 5 hours?! Shit, you getting a deal. You should be paying for food.
The child will literally eat $40 in groceries a week. That’s such an unfair pay, especially if she’s doing this for a living.
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The problem is this should’ve been decided on before she took him out, it seems wrong on both accounts and maybe she shouldn’t have watched your child that day because it was her child’s birthday and she wanted to go out.
She probably doesn’t mind providing his meals when it comes from the food she already has as what’s one more meal., but an outing and paying for added extras it mounts up. I wouldn’t let my mates take my kids for food and just expect them to food the whole bill… but I wouldn’t top up their cupboards at home if they cooked something…
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All the ppl talking about its her sons birthday… Well the sitter shouldve planned ahead to make other arrangements for the day of her kids birthday… Common sense… 
so no u are not wrong… And any good mother out thr would not ask for such as this and jt do it…
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You’re paying her less than $10 an hour. So you do not already pay her enough.
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You are not paying enough. Give her the money
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You could have easily made your sitter feel valued and said of course! And maybe sent a small gift…instead you made her feel unappreciated. I’d quit you too
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I don’t think it matters if you’re right or wrong now because she doesn’t want to babysit for you.
I do hope you can find someone else that will accept that amount per day…
I might have been annoyed that she asked me for money when I didn’t know she took my child somewhere. But I would’ve sent it to her because at the end of the day, my child had fun at their celebration and he still had to eat?? What if they fed him at home and didn’t let him get anything at the restaurant?? Then I would be angry.
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Should have sent money and a gift.
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I would have sent her the money. You’re paying her 8$ an hour, and that is way below minimum wage in my state. I was making 8$ an hour babysitting in high school in the 1980s. She shouldn’t have to pay for your child’s meal if they go out for a party. That’s your responsibility.
I say pay the woman.
EDIT: Minimum wage in my state is 15$/hour, for a couple years now. Gas in my town is $6.10/gallon, food is also going up as well. People can’t afford to feed and chauffeur your child around at 8$/hour.
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Childcare isn’t easy. It can definitely be expensive.
But you definitely should pay for your child’s meal if they go out.
However she should have told you in advance that she had plans to take them out.
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$40 for 5 hours is less than minimum wage.
Let’s just be a decent human and think about this for a second. The woman gets paid $120 a week. It was also her child’s birthday. Maybe she spent her lousy $120 on gifts for her child and literally didn’t have the extra cash to provide for your sons meal. Maybe she had bills due that week and had to pay bills.
Just Venmo her back, and maybe appreciate that you have a wonderful babysitter who is willing to take your child to family events. 
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You screwed up. Child care isn’t cheap.
You were paying her $8 an hour.
Majority of the time people pay minimum $10 and that’s with you providing food, and drinks you’ve been pretty lucky to get by with not giving her something for providing meals.
But some pay up to $20 an hour for a sitter
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If she offered I’d tell her just that unless there was already arrangements for handling that sort of thing
I feel like she should have discussed it beforehand.
But for me $40 for 5hrs or even the day is too expensive
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You’re under paying the baby sitter as is, you are in the wrong! I don’t blame her for quitting. Get it together.
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Lol would you take that to watch someone’s 5 year old 
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You pay her next to nothing.
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It’s her responsibility bottom line!
As a home daycare owner- I charge 20.00 a day for full timers and 30.00 for part timers. I don’t charge extra when we go out to get happy meals for the littles nor do I charge when I take them out on fundays. I’ve told all my parents if there comes a time when they need to help cover their child’s admission fees they will be giving at least a two week notice…
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Ok, she volunteered to take the child and asked for money after the fact, than yes she should pay, with that being said, $40 a day! you are taking advantage of this woman and should feel guilty for paying so little, you should have offered to give her extra money and pay for hers. You better rethink this whole situation.
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She could take her child out the next day for her birthday lunch??? Oh honey, you sound awful entitled for someone only paying this poor girl $8 an hour when his meal would cost an hour of her wages. Good luck to you, you’re gonna need it!
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8 dollars an hour??? Are we living in 1990???
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This sounds like a simple lack of communication situation. While she should have expressed to you their plans to go to dinner and given you the option to let your child go and pay for his portion or don’t watch your child that day, it sounds like she attempted to find a way to make it work for everyone. I would pay her the money and politely let her know going forward you would like to know in advance if there will be additional costs involved so you can properly plan. It also sounds like having a trusted babysitter is critical for you to focus on your job so I would come across as grateful and keep those waters smooth or you may be finding another babysitter, which isn’t easy.
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Ummm 40 for 5 hours? Seriously??? Second she should have talked to you about it ahead of time… and YES you should pay for it he’s your kid and this is a special moment for her kid. I would have sent extra money as a birthday gift for her kid as well… but since you work at home keep your kid and figure it out yourself
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I would’ve sent her the money…the deal is to provide food at home. Not take him out to dinner. Send her the money. $40 for 5 hours is not very much…you’re lucky she does it for that.
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With the right Communication this could have been avoided. She could have told you about going out beforehand giving them option for you to keep your child so they can do whatever. Not knowing the situation but I wouldn’t have passed a few more bucks for a decision she made because I’m barely making it as is and her pay is what is being upheld with the agreement made between you two.
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I’m going to say yes you’re wrong here. It’s clear she was already feeling something about the situation and the abrupt quitting makes me think that sent her over the edge. You do already get a good deal on her services.
Think of it like a little field trip. If someone had taken my kid out to eat, or to the zoo etc once in a while as an extra activity I would happily pay for the little extra excursions a sitter took my kid on.
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I feel like you’re not paying her much at all and you should be more considerate
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So 120 a week for 3 days isn’t a lot for everyone. Daycare here is 120-150 a week for 8 hours a day, 5 days a week…please put things in perspective
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You should have paid for your son to eat. And 8 dollars an hour. Is way below minimum wage. I would have quit to.
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Yikes. You had a shockingly great price for a sitter. I would’ve sent some and more. Now you’ll have to pay at least 15-20+ an hour for someone else.
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I wouldn’t have time for $40 a day either.
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I’d of fired my employER LONG BEFORE this day:us:
maybe its cuz of the rising food cost 
Honestly I wouldn’t want her even watching my child after that! I understand the need to be paid but if any child is with me they will be treated as my own, if my child(ren) get something they will as well, and I wouldn’t expect anything in return. I wouldn’t want anyone around mine that cares more about the money than my child! $40 is a decent amount and I agree she didn’t have to take your child out. I mean honestly how much would a 5 year olds meal be anyway, a few bucks so making a fuss over a few bucks is crazy!
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I can’t deal with this post like for real…at first I was like wow I would have paid for my nanny kid… but then I kept reading… you pay her $8.00 an hr and she feeds your child food from HER HOME …like are you kidding lady… send the money… And good luck finding anyone else to do that for you because it’s not gonna happen
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My thoughts are that’s YOUR kid and you didn’t send her the money so he could eat? You aren’t paying her much anyways especially if what your child eats comes outta her money. Just weird to me that you didn’t make sure he ate but she did.
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Thats only 8 bucks an hour. Id be asking too lmaoo
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Not a good babysitter in my opinion
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Not in the slightest bit in the wrong. The sitter is the one that violated the agreement.
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Modern day slave labor. $8 per hour? Plus you have the audacity to complain about her needing reimbursement for a meal that took place outside the home for a celebration (which sounds like an exception from the norm of eating meals at home)? You are the prime example as to why domestic employees (nannies, babysitters, housekeepers, etc.) are some of the most marginalized employees in the United States.
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since you’re cheap af & ungrateful, what’s the venmo? you lucky she only asking $40 a day.
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I pay 800$ a month for daycare and if my daycare provider asked me to pay for something else I wouldn’t even question it. I’d be happy too. That person is not just your “babysitter” hard as it is to believe, but that woman is raising your child for those 5 hours 3x a week.
You also don’t know her financial situation. She willingly took your child out to eat when she could have easily told you to come pick the child up early.
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No you are not wrong.
It’s only about 35.00 a day for daycare 5 days for a 2 year old in Maine. I have babysat for 20.00 a day and currently over a year sitting for free a min of 3 days a week and feed as well. Guess I’m to nice…
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Since she decided to take the kid out, she should pay. But you are definitely under paying her, especially if she’s providing food.
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Wow. That’s Hella underpaid
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If 40 is what you guys agreed on and her feeding him while there and never asked for you to help out with food then no your not in the wrong she could have told you ahead of time that she was gonna be taking him out to eat so you could have game her the money instead of after the fact she also could have went out like you said the day she didn’t have him. So no your not in the wrong
You’re in the wrong here. She gave your son her time for a low pay($14.25 minimum wage in my state) You were very lucky to have a sitter that hands on and willing to treat your child to a fun day. $10 extra bucks would’ve saved you the loss of a babysitter. End of the day with that pay, she’s not the one benefiting from this, you were. Hope this humbles you a bit more
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Yes, I feel like you’re wrong for that. You’re being selfish saying that she should have waited until the next day to celebrate Her child’s birthday. And she’s been feeding your child every other day for only $40 a day. Yes she should have discussed her plans with you beforehand but come on…
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Wow. Maybe pause to think about how expensive it is to feed a child, and how expensive everything else is these days. She makes $8 an hour with what you’re paying her. But with feeding your child while he is in her care, she actually makes less. So yes, you are wrong. You should be covering food expenses for him without question.
If you don’t want to pay extra to cover the cost of feeding him, then you’re in for a rude awakening when he starts school because guess what? Children usually have to be sent with a snack or two. I mean, what if he doesn’t like the school lunch? Are you going to tell the lunch ladies that it is their responsibility to feed him? Are you going to tell the teacher it’s their responsibility to provide him with a snack? You’re sorely taking advantage of the arrangement with her. Even I wouldn’t babysit for you.
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$40 for 5 hours and no spending money? I’m surprised she lasted as long as she did. Wow😱
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I’m on your side here. This is something that should have been discussed beforehand and by the sitter. 40 a day for 5 hours is perfectly reasonable (assuming it’s under the table and you can’t claim childcare on your taxes). To blindside you the day and time of is crazy. THAT SAID I would have just given her the money to save peace. My sitter wouldn’t ask but she also wouldn’t have to ask because I’d offer.
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I would have offered the money before she even asked honeslty
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I would’ve provided the money THAT time, and kindly tell her to inform me of such plans ahead of time so I can either arrange another sitter or be prepared to pay for his meal. She should have told you they were planning on going out to eat. But, I also have to say $40/5 hour days is less than $10 an hour, depending on your state, that’s under minimum wage.
Damn girl, just give her the money lol
Would of been nice if she had told you in advance but at the end of the day she’s looking after your child and took him out for a nice meal with her family to celebrate her childs birthday! ( Assuming both kids get on aswell)
It’s a once off
Just send some money through
And be done with it,
$40 a day plus food and snacks is really really cheap to be honest
My son eats so much food😂
No wonder she’s pulled the pin and doesn’t want to look after your child anymore
I mean,l this with zero disrespect. My sitter (my mom), does not get minimum wage watching my kids. I couldn’t work if she did. But, she doesn’t complain and takes the little bit of spending me and helps me in the process, for which I’m grateful.
I buy (or try to) groceries (or send money/food). I have multiple kids and groceries are expensive. Cost of living is going up.
I would be embarrassed I was questioning why she wanted money if they went out. Its not like a meal that’s likley $2 or $3 to share amongst everyone is the same as a $9 meal for a child going out to eat. I would give her the money and ask her to talk to you about that in the future, since you budget carefully.
It was very sweet she included your child in their celebration. It’s hard to find someone you can trust, and someone that’s willing to step into the “parent role” for cheap pay (and no judgement, $40 is $40, I get that). I wouldn’t want to mess that up.
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Your paying her below minimum wage to care for your son and provide all meals and mad she asked for extra one time because it was her kids birthday and you think she should’ve just taken her kid on your schedule so you didn’t have to pay? I’d quit too honestly.
I can’t believe you’re being petty about $10? She being underpaid anyways 
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Should have just paid her … you’re not going to find childcare for cheaper. Also if it was her child’s birthday that day maybe that’s why. Also providing food in house is different that taking someone out.
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So you wanted her to postpone her child’s birthday and do it the following day because she had your child ? Maybe you should just keep your child home if you don’t think you should have to pay for your child’s food.
You should’ve just paid her for your child’s meal. $8 an hour for a baby sit is super low. You should apologize to her.
$40 is really cheap to watch for 5 hours and expect meals, meals should be packed if that fee was agreed on. I’d have given her the money and been grateful he had a good time and meal. That’s honestly ridiculous to expect her to feed your child on top of a poor reimbursement.
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Would you watch her kid for $8 an hour and bring hers out to eat? Probably not. Try to go find a sitter somewhere else for that price.
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She is underpaid, but she should have told you they were going out before hand. If you didn’t want him to go, i would have told you I couldn’t watch him that day.
My husbands ex whom he has a child with watches my son for me so I can work. And she doesn’t take advantage of me and I don’t take advantage of her. If she were to be nice enough not to say hey I can’t watch him today and take your son out you should have been nice enough to say ok girl how much do I owe you? Just simple kindness and not taking advantage of a special outing your son was a part of that he didn’t need to be and you could have had him at home or stress about finding a different sitter that you now have to do. I would apologize and see if you could fix what you ruined.
Yes you are wrong.
You are paying her $8 an hour & expecting her to feed your child out of that?
NOPE.
& she took your kid out to have done fun with other kids, while you got free time to work.
PAY YOUR SITTER 
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you said she shouldn’t take her kid for her birthday to take her the next day.wow … 40 bucks to watch a kid i would of been happy to send extra for my kid to go out and eat… she feeds him from her home. you should of sent the money now your out a baby sitter to…
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8$ an hour ?? That’s horrible 
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What?! You feel like $40 is ok for 5 hours AND to provide meals?? Wtf is wrong with you. Most people are $15-$20 an HOUR. Stop being cheap or take care of your own child.
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You’re definitely wrong. It was her kids birthday and wasn’t a typical meal and tbh 40$ for 5hrs sounds like a great deal. I would apologize, give her the cash and just ask for a heads up on any extras or see if she is willing to rain check. Just my opinion though.
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You pay her $8/hr and Think that’s enough? 
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Being paid that much (little) a day is generous, for one. As for throwing a fit for sending money because she asked for money going out, yea, you’re wrong for that. Not only you are wrong for throwing a fit over that but you are also wrong for making her provide meals for your child in her care. I would’ve quit, too, but long ago. Hell, I wouldn’t have even agreed to watch him if I was in the babysitter’s position!
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Man how can people be so entitled!
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Yeah you’re taking advantage of her and good for her she can’t watch him you sound entitled good luck with peace and quiet now lol restaurant money for a 5 year old you should be grateful she even wanted to take your child
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McDonald’s pays $14 hr starting where I live just to give you an idea. Do with that what you will. I think that’s insanely underpaid for someone in charge of my child. I would have paid no problem but ask that it’s run by me prior going forward.
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Yeah you’re in the wrong entirely
It’s her son’s birthday. Pay her extra for his food. 40$ for 5 hours is peanuts. Don’t take her for granted. Appreciate what you have before you don’t have it.
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I paid my babysitter $100 for 8 hrs and like 4 of those hours My kids were sleeping.
I feel like meals should of been sent along with your child or weekly set amount for sitter to buy a stash of food for just your child.
My sister in law sends groceries to our mother in laws house for her Kids weekly and they are only there 3ish hours a day due to being in school.
But the way the sitter went about it was wrong. I would of politely had a conversation with you in person to try and work out something, but after that I wouldn’t want that sitter to watch my child bc of how she acted.
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I pay 20-35 an hour depending on how long the day is and if one or both kids go. For 40 bucks a day I’d bring all food and give her whatever else she is asking!
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When I had a small daycare I took my kids I was watching to McDonald’s for happy meals and never charged Moms for them
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You think less than $10 an hour is ok?
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You are completely wrong you should have just given her the money
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I think she should have given you the heads up the day before or even that morning.
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Holy cow! Is she walking to you? The gas alone would take half that “pay”.
I was babysitting per diem like that for a house appraiser, so only when he had work. I was getting $65 at his home, his food, his baby eating his food. I was grateful for the money but seriously, was still at the low end of pay for babysitting.
You need to seriously consider what you are paying someone to do and that is care for your child. Actually care! Care about who you hire. Care about the quality of what your child gets.
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You’re paying her $8 per hour.
Jesus. Pay her more before you expect more from her
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You so selfish to say her son must wait next day to enjoy his birthday plus with the cost of living you don’t know her situation maybe she couldn’t afford to pay for your son you could have given the money
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I would be upset about her not asking about taking my child out in the first place. Not knowing where they could be or if they got into an accident while riding around puts me on edge hard. And it’s not a tax paying job so being paid about $8/hr for 5hr seems like a good deal but you should consider providing food for your kid or to pay more to compensate because feeding a kid even once in those 5hrs takes half of the $40 you already paid her so she loses money. But for her to just quit on you makes her look bad because she should have asked you before just going out if you would be willing to payback for the food because if not she could have just not gone out with your kid or dropped him off before even going out so she wouldn’t have to worry.
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Yikes. Glad she got away from you.
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Honestly, $40/day for 5 hours breaks down to $8 per hour. If the money to provide your son with meals, snacks, and drinks while there, she truthfully isn’t making much by watching your son. Most people would charge you more than that to be paid at least minimum wage per hour. I do think that if she is completely transparent and okay with the amount you pay her than okay. Do I think she should’ve given you a heads up that she was taking her son out and would appreciate if you sent some extra money to pay for your sons meal? Yes. Could she have waited until you picked your son up? Possibly depending on when you get over there to get him. However to expect her to celebrate her child’s birthday a different day makes it sound like aren’t very appreciative and expect her to put your needs first. If she did anything else for work, she might’ve taken the day off - however did not with watching your child. It sounds like numerous things as to why she doesn’t want to watch your child anymore - she’s getting paid less than minimum wage, you seem like you take advantage of her, and it seems you expect her to change things to different days.
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$40 a day for 5 hours is less than $10 an hour 
you think that’s overpaying someone to care for your child?!?
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You’re paying her 8$ an hour AND she provides the food? I’m confused as to how YOURE offended in this situation? If anyone should be offended, it’s her! I’d quit if I was her also!
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I have kept kids for 20 years . I’ve been licensed and not licensed . Currently have two here at home bc I closed my daycare . We go on outings a lot . Never once have I asked for lunch money . It’s my choice to take them out . Now if we do something like a museum I might ask for field trip money to get in. Not for lunch though .
Also for you saying it’s not much . I get roughly $20 to $30 a day from 7-5pm where I live .
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