My sons stepmom got mad that I gave him an apple watch: Advice?

In all honesty it’s none of her business what you do for or buy for your son and that’s exactly what I would have told her.

That’s pretty ballsy to tell a mother what she should be doing for their own child.

If it’s not a safety issue she should keep her opinions to herself and I would tell my ex that as well.

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You are his mother and you have every right to give him a gift if you want to and you sure as hell don’t need the step mom’s permission!!!

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Well honestly that’s between you and his dad. If you think it’s fine for him to have it then so be it. You are his mother, not her.

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Unless she’s his legal guardian, it’s none of her business what you give to your son.

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Yes. You’re missing something. The stepmom is a controller.

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Step mom needs to stay in her lane

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Wow jealous much .just keep being a great mom .if she thinks that way she must pick favorites then.

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Sounds like step mom is trying to undermine you. Maybe a little jealous of your relationship with your child. It bothers me that she came to you directly instead of the child’s father. It’s not her place. Shes crossing a boundary IMO

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Sounds like she is jealous.

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Sounds like step mom is overstepping. And is also a control freak. I’d tell her to kiss my butt. He’s your child not hers.

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Yes yuh missing something she wanted it for herself

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I was a stepmother and she is way out of line.

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It is none of her business what YOU buy YOUR child.

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None of her business what gifts you give your son. Unless, it is something you and ex specifically talked about and together decided against.

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I know there is a nice fuzzy answer to this somewhere but I don’t have it. Tell her to KMA and move on. You don’t answer to her.

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From my own personal experience, I’m a step mom, she’s now 23. Her mom got her a cell phone when she was 8, which was her right and none of my business. With her having 2 homes I respected the decision. The only time it became my business was when she was at our house, during dinner time it was not allowed on the dinner table or during special circumstances (if we attended formal dinners, funerals).

As step parents we must respect the biological mother/father, parents too need to understand, in most circumstances, we only want the best for them as well.

I learned as a step mom, "damned if you & damned if you don’t":woman_shrugging:

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Tell her to mind her business. Of course step parents are important but the decisions are made by mother and father only. If he had an issue he should of text you himself but in the end your his mother and if you want to give your boy a gift then go a head he came out of your who Haa :joy::sparkling_heart:

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It is sad when “some” step-parents feel its their place to lecture their spouses ex. The sadder part is the ex in these cases encourage these actions. I have witnessed a couple of cases like this and it is always the kids who suffer. You are the Mom, it is your ex who should ask if he has concerns.

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Why are you answering to the stepmom… it’s none of her business what you give to your children. Next time she calls you refuse to speak with her. Tell her from now on, you’ll only speak to their father.

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Nothing to do with her. She’s a stepmother not his mother

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As a step mother…
That stepmother has NO RIGHT to complain.
You are his mother you gifted it to your son rather than waste it or like you say rot in a drawer.
My advice tell her since you dont get given the opportunity to have imput over gifts she and her husband give your son. Then fair is fair.

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Why are you letting her opinion bother you.

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Is she jealous or feeling left out.?

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First off, it was a hand-me-down… she’s throwing a fit over an old apple watch… second, he is YOUR CHILD. You dont need to consult her or get her permission to do things for your son. If it were me, I would talk to your son’s father about this before she tries this mess again, otherwise next time will be worse and THEN you will go off.

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Whose kid is this? You do whatever you want whenever you want and thank her to keep her opinion to herself. I am a very calm, sweet natured person, but if my kids’ step mom oversteps, I’m all over it.

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I think step mom should keep her noise out of it
She has no right to say anything about a gift that was given by his mother
If the father had issues he himself should speak to the mother

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You’re mom. She’s stepmom. You don’t need permission from her to give your child a gift

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She needs chill pills! Maybe jealous that she could not afford one or even thought of giving him one!

Excuse me what business is it of hers what you provide for your child? She needs to back off. She is the step parent not the parent.

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Wait, so YOUR son’s stepmother is upset that you gave YOUR SON an Apple Watch?! Like, what?!? I’m confused, I mean I understand communicating but did you need her permission?! I have an Apple Watch personally and there are a lot of benefits to having one….the phone call feature, the text feature, the location capabilities…not just for telling time. I think that if this is an issue, your ex should talk to you about it…not have the stepmom step in.

Could they have wanted to know about it because they were going to gift him the same thing?! That would be the only thing I could see as to why she’d like a little communication…that’s just odd.

She prob has her chold that wants one, tell her to stay out of your business! That’s why she’s a stepmom…Not Mom, period.

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Not up to the step parent to handle this, this is between mom, dad and the child! I’m a stepmom and I would never tell their mother what she can or cannot buy for her kids. Parenting is still between biological mom and dad unless stepmom is raising the kids.

Does she have children around the same age? Maybe her concern isn’t what you got your child but if there is going to be an expectation from her children that they will get the same thing from her. Just as a thought. Or maybe they have gotten him one and haven’t give it to him yet.
As a blended family here, us adults communicate with each other about the big ticket items so there’s no accidental double up.

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I’m a step mom. 3 bonus kids and 3 with my husband. I would never tell bio mom what she could and couldnt buy/ gift her own child. Sometime I feel bad because I cant afford the things for my boys that my bonus gets get from their mom or family but that’s on me and I wouldnt ever tell her she couldnt because of my own inability to do the same for my own. My bonus kids all have phones and did at an age I didnt really agree with and think they needed them then but wasnt my place to say anything. Now my husband and I would take them if they were disobeying but mom agreed and does the same.

Sounds like a hand me down. Not a gift. Plus Kids that age need to learn as much technology as possible.

Tell her to mind her own business and if there is a problem talk to child’s father. Maybe she’s jealous

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First of all she sounds like she is looking for a problem and she needs to look elsewhere and not at you and your children…. With that being said call her back and simply ask her to NEVER in her life again text you if she has a PROBLEM with anything your doing….please call you and refrain from texting… secondly how she feels is her problem and considering the situation she has a problem with … she can talk to her husband about it… that’s who she married and she can complain to him all day long … until the cows come home if she likes… that’s between them….now that’s out of the way….she needs to mind the business that minds her and call you if there is or she has a real problem concerning you ……And that’s how you handle that H$&….

Hope this helps​:roll_eyes::stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

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Who the heck is she to tell you what to do when it comes to your children.

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Any gifts from you to your children is your business and not hers. She is definitely over stepping her bounds and needs to cross back over into her own lane.

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Your sons stepmother has ZERO say-so in what YOU give to YOUR son!!! If your son’s DAD wants to talk to you about what the two of you decide is best for YALLS son, that’s one thing. But she has NO leg to stand on regarding ANY decision regarding your son. Period.

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I guess the way I look at that is she’s the step mother not the bio mom she can have an opinion about it but at the end of the day she’s the step parent not that bio parent

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Im a step mom n i wouldnt dare question any gift my step kids mothers gives then… Its called boundaries! She is defenitely out of line…

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It sounds like she wears the pants in that family and the father is a wimp to allow her to call you about something so trivial. I think mothers and stepmothers should be able to discuss the children, but she crossed the line, and if her husband was a man, he would tell her that.

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As a step mom myself I never voiced my concerns to my stepdaughter mom. I never ever spoke an unfavorable thing about her mom in front of the child. I would in private talk to my husband and any decision was up to him. Children need a sense of belonging especially when the parents are divorced and remarried. Stepparents need to step back and let the parents coparent their child(ren). If step mom claiming favoritism maybe she’s the one doing it and trying to deflect…

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Stepmom needs to stay out of it. This is between you and the Dad. You need to tell her that. I’ve been a stepmom and knew my place as far as the kids were concerned. Be a positive role model, no matter what, get along with Dad and Mom for the sake of the kids. Nothing wrong with stepmom asking questions of you as far as parenting so everyone is on the same page, but she does not get to chew you out over something that has nothing to do with her. My stepdad and mom have not been married since the 1980’s but he is still my Dad. I’m almost 57. He remarried 4/23/1993, my sons 8th birthday. My mother has a long time boyfriend. My mom and stepdad still talk.

Gifts are from the heart the only heart you need to worry about here is yours and your sons I certainly hope that this things were not said to your son which would cause a wedge which might be the agenda who knows it’s just not worth it

Stepmom needs to step back!!! He is your child and it is none of her business!!

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Sounds like drama to me. If the others aren’t even old enough for one, who cares? She needs to stay in her own lane. Signed, a Nana

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Seems to me there’s a method to her Madness is more to this than meets the eye she is a s*** starter by saying you’re picking favorite she’s trying to put a wedge between you and your children for some reason maybe so she comes out looking like the nice guy or she’s got day is for you son and doesn’t think he deserves you are his biological mother you do what you know is not a hair business and tell her she feels it is such a favorite favoritism game that you were doing to feel free to buy your other kids if I can watch and a cell phone and I see that she should pay the AC bill for your house so that I can be comfy and cozy

You are his mother. No one should question when you buy your son a gift. Good luck.

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So if it were me I’d go buy him something else super cool just to put her in her place! You birthed the child, it’s none of her business what you buy him!!

She sounds irrational so don’t try to make her understand something that everyone with a rational mind already knows. She may take it out on your child while in her care. I always think of personality disorders when it’s this crazy sounding. Just be careful.

You aren’t missing anything, you didn’t do anything wrong. I would say “I’ll be the judge of that. I gave an advanced gift to my oldest child who could use it. I’ll revisit this with my younger children when they are of age. There are more important things you can do with your time. Have a nice day” Maybe leave out that part about more important things to do, but I’d give her a straightforward response not taking any of her crap and then ignore her.

You are not missing anything. YOU are the mom. You owe her no explanation at all. Coming from someone who also has to deal with stuff like this, you owe her nothing in the way of an explanation. Nothing.

You shouldn’t have to explain yourself to stepmom,dad yes. It’s a used gift for your son. Sounds like she is going to start a competition. Personally.she should be minding her own business and keep it between parents of kids.

Unless her name magically appeared on his/ her birthcertificate its not her business what You give your kid to take on a visitation weekend
Unless its a gun knife bow arrow type something. If there is an issue it should be delt with between you and dad. Step parents need to Step back when both parents are alive and well and are doing well with their parent jobs. She needs to be reminded she married dad and not you. You birthed them and someone felt you are safe. So unless she has a 13yr old and they cant give an apple watch to the kid and might have an issue she is should sit still.

Step mom needs to keep her nose out of other people’s business it was a gift from a mother to her son if step mom doesn’t like it oh well its none of her business the mother of the boy should tell step mom to keep her nose where it belongs mom and dad are the only ones who can say anything about gifts given to their children

Well, just be cautious and try to play it her way, after all your son is staying with her. Be friendly as much as possible, be gentle with her or maybe just take home your son

It’s none of the stepmom business what you get your son you had him not her, pay her no mind

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You are not in the wrong. Sounds like she is trying to stir up trouble

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I’m a stepmom… I just got to say… your sons stepmom passed an opportunity to have a good relationship with you. I have to say that was a little ballsy…my stepchildrens mom and I are very respectful and honestly like each other. You do not owe her an explanation, nor your ex’s permission. Stepmom burned some bridges instead of building one…stepmom needs to find her place and stay in it… saying I DO did not give her control.

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The dad can talk to you but the stepmom can stay out of it. It’s your child.

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First of all she needs to mind her Fucking business. You can do what you wamt to do for your kids. I would have cussed her ass out.

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Sorry what you buy your son isn’t her business… I’m sure you buy all the kids treats and gifts from time to time (if you didn’t then I would be ok yeah sounds like playing favorites. I mean does she expect her kid to get a gift on the other child’s birthday as well.

Depending … are you coparenting? Or it’s just the wife of your ex?
Coparenting it’s teamwork not only when it’s all cool but when differences comes up. Talk to her, I don’t think you are wrong, just let her know… In healthy ways

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You can ask your son to leave the watch at home and use his phone when he goes to see his dad. Otherwise it was a gift to your son there’s no reason why he can not have it.

I’m beyond shocked a step mother would have the gall to call the biological mother and attempt to dictate what she can and cannot gift her own child…it is best I am not the biological mother, I have a great vocabulary to share with step mommy dearest.

This should’ve been a discussion between you and the boys father the step mom needs to back off that is not her child and she should’ve discussed her feelings with you and left the kids out of it

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You need to give her a friendly reminder that YOU are his mom and will give him anything you damn well please! How dare her! Give her one of these while you’re at it. :fu: :rofl:

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What you buy your child is none of her business. If it had been your ex it might be open to discussion but certainly not her business. Push her nose firmly out of your business

You’re their mom you should be able to buy what you want for and my stepmom she needs to grow up she’s just jealous

Is your son living with the step mom? If yes then a bit of correlation is needed as it can affect house rules and dynamics, buying your son a gift should never be a problem but if you are not living out the day to day challenges it will not hurt to keep communication open between the two homes

I may be a bit cranky but I think you should tell stepmom to go to hell and be done with it.

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Step-mom sounds jealous :grimacing:
Childish behaviour that she should’ve grown out of; 𝗲𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗰𝗶𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 now she’s in this child’s life as a mother figure.

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Sounds like she is jealous and trying to bring u down Cause she aint happy. I would tell her to loae ur number til she can act like an adult. Jealous of a child she needs help!

Does she have any children with your ex?
Maybe her kids are jealous they dont have one as well .
But in reality it is YOUR son not hers

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Am I missing the part where the Dad said something… if he didn’t have a conversation with you or if they didn’t do it together then she can get all the way out of my business. Now if they approached as a couple then great we can converse but her just coming at me. It’s a no. If we all need to be on the same page then we all need to sit down together not just her telling me what she thinks.

I believe that what you give to (YOUR)son is between you and his father not the stepmother if the father is genuinely ok with it and not upset just because the stepmother is then it should be fine

I am not even reading to the end… he is your son and she has absolutely 0 right to tell you anything about your child. She can say what she thinks to dad and he can mention it if he feels it’s inappropriate but she has no right to tell you what you can and can’t give your son. Simple as that

Your son? She can get angry but… you can give YOUR son a gift and she should stay quiet

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Not her business she over stepped you buy for yours what you went you don’t need her permission… I do hope you checked her…

I think the key here is you’re his mother, and ultimately if you’d like to give a gift, you should be able to

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The step-mom?!? Knee-jerk reaction but no way would that go over with me. Where does she get off? Ignore her.

You give your child whatever you feel is appropriate and it’s none of their business unless it jeopardizes his or somebody else’s safety

I’m sorry you’re the mother not her you can get your son anything you want and in a damn thing she can say about it

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She’s being ridiculous! He’s your son. Buy him a damn car when he’s ready. Buy your kids anything you want.

I can see thinking favouritism, but obviously if the other kids are not old enough for phones & the mom wants to give an old smartwatch to her son when she isn’t included in decisions for gifts from the dad & step-mom then she shouldn’t have to ask permission from the step-mother.

Tricky because she’s looking for you to say something she can tell . Thank her for her input and procede with your life. By the time the others are old enough for phones things may have changed. You did the logical thing and it’s just talk that in no way affects you.

Uhhhh her title is STEPmom not mom. She needs to mind her own. Sounds like she’s jealous. Tell her to suck it up it’s YOUR son not hers. If his DAD has an issue he can bring it up. Not her place. Period.

Blow it off , tell her to mind her own business, you don’t owe her any explanation… sounds like she wants to control what he has

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He’ll NO!!! You are the one that gave birth to your son. You don’t have to ask her permission for anything. She needs to control her actions.

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Your missing putting her back in her place. The nerve of some people!!

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Time to tell step mom that all communication needs to be between the actual parents and not her.

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Yea your mom hes dad. She is the stepmother. Its none of her business what u do in your home.

Does she ask you every time she gives your son a gift? Probably not. So, why would she expect you, the biological parent, to run every gift you get your child, by her for approval?

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As a stepmom myself i would never say anything about a gift from his own mother. Shes over stepping.

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Not her business. Welcome to blended families …it’s a shit fight! Good luck

Your son’s stepmom, meaning he is your biological son? If that’s the case she has absolutely NO RIGHT to be upset. Even if you were the step parent she shouldn’t complain but I would understand (I’ve unfortunately lived it) about a step parent giving something to their biological child. But that could be anything from I don’t want you to give my child nice things to jealousy because they can’t give them things that you can…

Not her business… She’s her son after all, she can give her anything as long as it doesn’t harm ‘her’ or anyone in the household. Jealousy is in the air…

As a step mom myself I have this same problem but in reverse I can’t give my bonus daughter anything without her mom saying something and God forbid my parents give her anything. She says they aren’t related to her they don’t matter. As a step child of my father if he would have told my dad he couldn’t give me anything without his permission I probably wouldn’t have a step dad anymore.