Honestly I’m not even sure why you married this man?? Was he always ashamed of you prior to your marriage?? Not only that, but this is an incredibly damaging example to set for your daughter as well. Forget the party, you need to leave completely. Your daughter needs to see you being respected by both yourself and other men, because that’s the expectations shes going to set for herself one day. Just get out while you can.
Dump him - right now! You deserve much more than this creep
Sounds like you are his side piece. He is still her father at end of the day so you need to let her go. I’m sure you are hurt but he seems like only thing he wants is sex and to see his daughter. It is time to cut him off from only yourself. Still let him be a father and coparent so you can move on. This sounds toxic and mentally unhealthy for you.
You gotta get out of that.
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I don’t think you shouldn’t let your child go to a party you aren’t invited to because your feelings are hurt. I don’t think you should let your child go to a party because you know none of those people that your child will be around. Not safe.
It’s simple LEAVE, take the things you need and leave.
Let her go with her dad & enjoy whatever he has planned for her, you plan something for her & have a separate celebration for her. When it comes to the dynamic of y’all’s relationship you need to set boundaries, stop having sex with him & simply co-parent…nothing more or less, just make it strictly about y’all’s child, don’t be petty by keeping your daughter from him b/c of y’all’s hiccups
Why are still sleeping with a man you know very well is seeing another woman. You have clearly shown this man you don’t have value for yourself and he is treating you as such. And stop saying You are petty ok! He can’t possibly be celebrating your child without you! Even if you weren’t sleeping together and just co-parenting, you will still need to be seen at certain occasions cos it concerns the child you have together and if he can’t understand that, then he will have to learn to deal with not having the privilege of such occasions.
Do not let your relationship with him hurt the relationship with his child. That is not fair to bring a child into or have them have to choose. He is making the effort to have her something for birthday, there’s plenty of men out there who don’t even know when their kids birthday is. And if he’s embarrassed to be seen with you why would you still sleep with him? Hold yourself on a higher pedestal. Good luck
This scenario is to lousy too be real.
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If you are separated then that would be the way forward . You do her party and he does his own one The winner is your daughter as she is having 2parties
as long as you both understand that you might not love each other but you both love your daughter equally in your own way
May be you need to get some support for yourself as you will also be a winner in this separation
Take care
He was never into you
all he wanted was a piece .now that he’s got another girl you’re out of his reality
File for a divorce take him to the cleaners with child support
you don’t need a man to be happy.find your happiness within yourself and kid thats all that matters God bless stay strong for you and cild the may the universe continue to bless you
Kick him to the curb. You deserve a man who thinks of you first.
I’m confused, she calls him her spouse… then she says “the women he’s seeing”. Then she says “she thought they were at least friends”. Ugh too much for me to try and figure out. If she has not bonded with his family, no loss . I’d be damn if I let anyone behind my door if he or she did not want to be seen out with me… NO WAY!!!
Sorry too say but your the side chick
Y’all clearly aren’t together and you know that. Keep your daughter out of this mess and let her go to her own party 
also you know he’s seeing someone so it’s kind of on u if u kept sleeping with him
He is your SPOUSE? Or boyfriend? I can’t believe you put up with this behavior. See a lawyer if needed and get out of such a toxic relationship.
You and your child are better off without him.
Just show up at the party!
Get a life that doesn’t include him
You are not in a relationship. I doubt he’s your spouse. Accept that fact and move on. Allow him to take care of your daughter because that’s what she deserves. Teach her life lessons to avoid such people when she gets older with scenarios and don’t mention names.
Well he’s not your spouse if he’s seeing someone else I’m
Assuming you live in two houses. I think it’s time to move on.
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Lol she is one she will not remember guaranteed
Time to call a lawyer
This is the saddest story I have read on this post. You need to be pissed off, NOT depressed! You need to leave him and stop sleeping with him. You need to get him for child support and live your life separately from him. Go join a church and see a psychiatrist for your low self esteem. You cannot let your daughter see you like this. She might become like you. This life of yours has to stop now. This is not normal or mentally healthy. Listen to some positive music to get your mind thinking good thoughts for you.
Go for consuming, if that don’t work kick him to the curb.
In any case, spouse or no spouse…time to move on!
Get some therapy and learn about your self value.
Your post is very confusing and I think it’s a reflection what it is in your mind…but there is hope, pray to God and make a truly effort to star learning to love your self and have some mind clearance.
If the guy pay child support, let him to be in your daughter’s life, but be careful it’s better to discuss terms of custody in court… because he obviously doesn’t love you or care about you and he is very capable to take your child.
Thing is, he had every opportunity lije a man to tell her his plans instead of sidestepping it like a little boy hiding the truth. Its called respect w/boundaries. P.s. she does need to cut the strings on this relationship…it is obviously one sided with him proving he is not a decent man if he is still sleeping with her and deceiving her about being involved with someone e else!
Well for one thing I would not be putting it on Facebook , and for another fuck him off . Moron.
Sorry he is treating you like that but you can not with hold your daughter from her father. Grow up and get over it. Why does he have to be seen with you when you are only a booty call for him ??? Time to move on.
Don’t let your daughter grow up watching her father disrespecting her mother. Have your own party. He has no right to plan a party with out you.
Leave him now it will only get worse.Save you and your daughter alot of unnecessary pain.
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Your husband is having an affair with another woman and you are still sleeping with him and you think you are being petty when he plans birthday parties that doesn’t include you and he doesn’t want to be seen with you? The man needs do not have contact with his daughter because he is committing adultery which is illegal in some states and I’m sure is very confusing to your daughter. He needs to get help not be enabled by you thinking you are Petty? I’m just trying to figure this out in my brain.
Why have you allowed yourself to be relegated to his shameful secret? Why are you still sleeping with him? Cut that shit out. Get your groove back and find someone who loves you for being you and who loves you for who you are and stop being the doormat. Sorry for being harsh, but you need to value yourself a lot more
Wait- what?!
I don’t even understand this post.
So- you and your daughters father are NOT together? Just sleeping together? And the woman he is seeing and him are throwing a party together? For your daughter? That you share with him?
IF I read this right - I don’t think it’s that he is ASHAMED of you, I think it’s that y’all aren’t together and he’s being unfaithful or not committed to his new chick.
I see some folk saying some nasty things here firstly I’d like to point out it takes 2 to tango 
he could be telling her no he won’t sleep with her too ya know guys 
. As for letting your daughter go I agree with that , no matter how hurt you are feeling it will be nothing compared to how she will feel if you stop her seeing her dad . Sometimes as women we have to be the stronger ones and despite how much our hearts are breaking we do what’s right for our kids 
. So unless he is a danger to her he has every right to throw her a birthday party as I have a feeling he won’t be seen in public with you because he’s cheating on his current gf . You deserve better than second best we all do .
Spouse but recently separated?
I have too many questions about the post to actually even answer. Like you found out he is cheating on you and planned a party with the other woman?
Because that’s not cool at all, was he/is he a good father to the children? Sounds like he left the siblings out of everything just to be with the GF. On that alone, I would say I wouldn’t trust the safety of the daughter at a party you knew nothing about. What other plans did he make behind your back? This seems more like narcissistic mental abuse. I hope you don’t think so little of yourself that he lives with you. I read comments saying father has rights, but this doesn’t seem to be about his daughter or time with her, more like time with the GF.
Get rid of him and take your daughter and go somewhere where else shame on him
Kick him to the curb! He’s obviously cheating on you…great reasons for a divorce.
Honey that may sound harsh but dump him. He is not worth your hurt!
Find a decent guy who is not “ashamed” of you.
So make your own plans for your daughters birthday and get over yourself and him, for shit sakes.
I’d tell him my daughter goes so do I! You bring her to the party. Get your hair and makeup done put on a nice outfit and strut in there with your daughter, head held high with a beautiful smile on your face. Enjoy the time with your daughter and after it’s over, hire the best divorce lawyer you can find and take the prick for all he’s got!! Good luck, you got this!
pack and leave never will change
Quit sleeping with your ex
Could have a side woman his lying to.
Let’s start with your husband’s girlfriend…!? Why are you married still when he is clearly having an affair? A court order would take care a lot of your issues. I personally don’t think you’re being petty - granted, I don’t have all the information. But what message is being sent to your daughter if she is going to a party with her married fathers girlfriend, in exclusion of her mother? I wouldn’t let her go, either. That being said, I wouldn’t have allowed myself to be in that predicament in the first place. Get a lawyer, get a divorce, get a parenting agreement, and move on.
Have separate party’s not your kids fault
Please don’t think that he doesn’t want to be seen with you because of some “fault” that you think you have, he’s the one who should be embarrassed for being such a jerk. The reason is because he doesn’t want his girlfriend to know that he’s cheating on her. Sometimes we can’t let go until we’re ready, but i6 hope this is the push you need to get over him and stop being used by this jerk, and move on, I wish you good luck.
Move on and don’t put the kids in the middle of it.
Drop his ass like a rotten sack of dirty diapers. Then again I’m not married (won’t stand being cheated on) and I don’t share. D-I-V-O-R-C-E.
I’m lost. Who is he actually with?
I believe EVERYONE will cheat if the need is great enough!!! Make sure there’s no need!!! Or stay out of the relationship game!!!
Your spouse is seeing a woman and having a birthday party for your daughter with her and not you? Hmm. Throw the whole spouse out, why don’t you?
Leave the man. Period. 
Ditch the bitch… There’s NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU!!!
He’s not embarassed to keep sleeping with you while he’s banging some other chick! He’s a deadbeat… I’m sorry but it’s true… You deserve better you deserve Love until you have that don’t give a guy anything!
That will be hurtful to your daughter! Don’t do that!
Why are you still there?
He sounds like a narcissist to me! Do some research on narcissism.
Ditch his ass!!! That he doesn’t want to be seen with you speaks volumes
Sounds like you need a new spouse homie. That’s pretty fucked.
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Yeah it’s time to leave and start your own life babe.
Omg that’s awful… u need to
Go!!!
don’t talk to him or question, just take the baby and run.
He’s already left you so…
The solution is very simple kick him to the curb!
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You are not in the wrong
Dudes trash. Move on. Let him do his own party you do yours. A few friends/family is all you need.
Do you have a brain?
If yes - then please USE IT !!!
Wait, this is your spouse?
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Opinion pollz, thiz iz not real
Kick that SOB to the curb and get on with your life
Go on a diet, start lookin good a d dump his ass!
Cheater what jerk. It is your Daughter and you do whatever you want it not just his daughter. You should know when the sneak around he feeling guilty because he cheating on you and the women he dateing he is married but they don’t care for a piece of Butt and probably younger then you. Dump him you will be better off and your child
Stop being a shrinking violet, put on your big girl panties and fix what is causing the problem between you and hubby! Do you need to lose baby fat, do it! Are there interest problems? Go to school for a course in something that interests you and ask him to watch his daughter on those nights. Start demanding your place in the relationship. Men don’t respect those that don’t respect themselves! Kick his ass! If he’s worth it to you!!! DO YOUR WORK FIRST!
Need to kick him to the curb
This started off sounding like your partner was ashamed of you, and ended up with, you two aren’t even together and therefore don’t need to be seen together. I know you’re probably hurting but you have to do your own party and let him do his. And stop sleeping with him.
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- Spouse. Means common law or married.
- He is blatantly cheating.
- He is a chronic liar as he cheated AND planned a separate party without you to attend
- Call a lawyer. Now. You need one
- You ARE entitled to HALF of EVERYTHING- that means his locked in RRSPs, his GIFs, RIFs, his pension, his hidden money
AND you ARE entitled to spousal AND child support. - His neglect towards you IS ABUSIVE BEHAVIOUR
- Get counselling to help get you through this
7…the most important. YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN.
Do NOT let ANYONE tell you otherwise
Why are you still with him? Hes obviously already moved on
Pick up those kids and leave
It seems like you two aren’t together and he’s using you for sex.
Since shes so little now is a good time to cut ties with him.
If he pays child support let him see his daughter accordingly. If not do what you got to do. I’d move with the kid make his life a tad harder lol.
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unfriggin believable - that is disgusting. You should go, look fabulous, keep your daughter close. Talk loudly about what a great friendship you have and how you are still having sex. That you are waiting for him to dump this gal like the other girls. Look around the room and ask if Julia is there “you’re still involved with her right?” “and what about Brandy? Really I don’t know where you find the time to work. You can’t be paying for all these women, some of them must be paying for you. Who is helping you the child support? Which hoe?” You could have fun with this. Expose him in front of all his friends. Maybe hire a hoe to come along and pretend she is also sleeping with him. Have her make up some stories about the two of them. You go girl - don’t let anything stop you - the world is a stage. There are very few times in life when one can make a scene and have it make a lasting impression. you are making memories. Be your own hero.
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He’s not your spouse if he’s seeing someone else.
Plan your own party for her. Let the rest of nonsense lay to rest because only thing that matter is that baby.
If he planned a party for her let her enjoy it.
You arent a side dish, quit letting people treat you as such.
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Just let him go. A man that behaves this way is not worth it. A situation like this is not worth the pain and heartache. He has moved on and it’s time for you to find happiness.
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Kick his butt to the curb. He has another woman, isn’t that enough reason to spare yourself the heartache? This is hard, but let your daughter have her party with Dad, then you can throw her a party too. But dump that jerk, you do not need someone who doesn’t respect you!
You need to stop sleeping with the guy. I get the fact that you obviously still have feelings for him, but you need to love yourself first before anything else. You also cant stop your kid to celebrate their own birthday. Its unfortunate that you’re in that situation, and hes a total ass for even sleeping with you while hes with someone else… but again, self love first. Find something that you love doing and learn to respect yourself first.
If she doesnt show up at the party people will want to know why…Good…He wouldnt be hiding me and he derserves it.At one yr old she wont even know whats going on, its just his show.Dont let him disrespect you anymore…take back the power and set your guidlines. Men dont like a weak woman. Hes disgusting and your daughter will grow up thinking she should settle for his kind!
So you’re married? And he is seeing someone else behind you’re back, and all you can think it’s because he’s ashamed of you? maybe you need to reprioritize where your emotions should be at.
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Get rid of the louse!! You deserve better than that loser. Don’t let him make you feel that way! You are a child of God which makes you beautiful.
Dump the jerk & wake up to having boundaries & self respect! Please start seeing therapist!
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Learn to love your self with out him , then things will fall into place. It will teach your daughter to do the same and in return she will pick better for her self when it comes to picking boyfriends and then husband’s
Forgive your self don’t hold grudges .don’t involve your daughter in your adult grevinences , don’t put down father . Remember Carma . Is a bitch …
And if he Is a cheater . He will always be one … he is not happy in his own skin … u be happy in yours
…respect your self and make boundaries and don’t waver from them . Make new friends , step away from your normal. Be strong, your daughter will be watching don’t forget that
He’s the father let him be one… don’t take the love away from your daughter he’s her dad and they need to bond too , with out you… yes it’s tough but don’t make her dad look bad in your daughters eyes that’s terrible… let her go he clearly loves her and wants to be part of her life… I say move on and forget him keep it strictly friendly for your daughter and for your self … go love you and learn how to be happy with out him… you got this focus on u stay busy … don’t worry you can’t find or let your true soulmate in if you’re focused on the negative …
Sounds to me like you need to move on. I mean it kinda sounds like you guys are not together and you were just having sex with him still. But either way, you should just move on with your life. And be happy for you and your child.
Do not be an a$$hole who turns your child into a weapon. You two are not a couple, just using each other as a better than nothing booty call. Seriously.
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F him! That’s bs! That’s one of the rudest things I ever heard! If he has joint custody then let him have his party and you do yours without him. Petty? What’s petty his him excluding you. Maybe it’s the gf or maybe he’s an ass. Either way a sit down needs to be had about co-parenting. Keep that baby in your mind and do what’s best for her!
You guys arent together. He doesnt have to do family things with you anymore nor does he have to introduce you to anyone in his life. Stop sleeping with him he is using you. No wonder you feel like shit.
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Honestly I wouldn’t take her either unless you have designated court ordered dates for visitation. That’s BS that he knew you were trying to do it as a family. If you’re good enough to create the family youre good enough to celebrate the baby’s life together. It’s not like your asking him to pretend y’all are really together. Nip it in the butt now or he will do this to you all the time and this WILL effect your daughter and how she is taught how to be treated
No no stop sleeping with him what are you fucking stupid. …Plan your own birthday party!!!Stop put on Your big girl panties and start being a mom that your girl would be proud of. Unless you’ve had a major accident there’s nothing wrong with your face. Use makeup lose weight whatever it takes Take back your life and STOP being a doormat!!!
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embarrass him in public every chance you get with cheek kisses & loving light shoulder touches. if he gets angry, tell him to lighten up. above all, have a sense of humor about it!
My daughter would not be allowed to go. Meanwhile I would start divorce proceedings. I would not stay with a man who is keeping another woman on the side. If you have family or friends to stay with till you get on your feet would be a good thing. Get yourself a devotee lawyer and start proceedings.
Leave his punk ass its goin to be a rough ride but u got this mama u have a beutiful child and that childcis all you neex right now she is ur world and if he dose not want to be a part of that then screw him/her and dont let ur daughter go let him have all this planning for nothing if he cant even do it with you… hes not worth your time she is again its going to be rough but with him acting like that if he dose not care nither should you!!! So eff the loser let him have his whore but dont let him have the satifacton of destroying you or teari g you down like that