He is a cheater. Move on you deserve better
“she’s a vegan”? That was his excuse? Girl…
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That wouldn’t fly with me! His ass would be out the door lickety split
Yessssss… it does sound like a date, otherwise why not include his family.
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He’s planning on being late. That’s all I have to know. He clearly is having a date in my eyes. You’re better off confronting him when he gets home or the next day and telling him to pack his bags and leave. His excuse was so pathetic it’s laughable.
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This is one of the worst excuses I have ever heard. He is cheating. Be realistic. Move out.
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Do they have a business relationship? I would never invite myself, let alone my kid, to a business dinner.
If you don’t trust him, that’s a different conversation. A conversation for you two at home. Discuss it with him and tell him how you feel. What it makes you think… It’s completely inappropriate to invite yourself, or to expect him to invite you, to a dinner that he (I assume) didn’t plan.
Now if he planned it…
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It’s her or me baby. You choose because I don’t share
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So. For a relationship to be successful, there needs to be boundaries, open communication, and trust. You know your SO. We don’t. Lots of people on here are jumping to conclusions. The main question is this: do you feel uncomfortable with his behavior, and is he respecting your feelings? Can you talk with him to work this out between the two of you? Does he do this kind of thing often?
You need to set a firm boundary about what you are comfortable with in your relationship. If he’s not willing to respect your feelings then this isn’t a good relationship. You deserve someone who cares about your feelings and who is willing to negotiate with you to make sure you feel safe and comfortable.
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Ridiculous -Jerry Springer
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There is no way on earth I would allow my husband to meet another woman for dinner without me. Something is very wrong with this picture.
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Irs a date, never go for second to anyone.!
No no…if was me I’d leave his butt.to much hiding crap…best of luck
Sus as fuck. Leave him
Big no’cheater’.Red flag!!!
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What you ALLOW…Will CONTINUE 
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Sounds like a date to me!
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I would be insecure!!!
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Tell him you ran into an old friend and you’re going out to dinner with HIM and see what happens!
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Find out where they are going for dinner and front up to them that way you will no longer be a secret if that’s what you are. I did this once and my ex rocked up to see his wife & mistress having a coffee together
Did he tell you who what when where and why?
If he did then try not to dwell on it. Perhaps it’s because it was a late time and he doesn’t think it toddler appropriate.
If he lies or didn’t tell you everything then I would definitely think he’s being deceptive and shady. If there’s nothing to worry about then there is nothing to hide.
But I would definitely sit him down and talk about how you feel about that especially that he didn’t respect you enough to ask how you felt about him meeting a lady friend at 8 o clock at night for dinner.
If he’s upset by that. Then HUGE red flags. I mean he’s already flagging but yeah.
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It was one dinner. And it’s a friend he had before y’all met. Let alone one he might work with again as you say she’s an actress. It could be a work dinner night out as friends to discuss business. Why would you invite yourself. And a toddler at that. You don’t need to go to/be a part of every encounter he has. That is controlling. I don’t see the problem or how you think your a secret or ‘never included” you only mention this one time. And not anybody else he “refuses” to bring you around.
If you trust him it shouldn’t be an issue. And if you don’t trust him should you really be with him?
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I wouldn’t feel comfortable with it nor would my partner with me going to dinner with a guy at 8pm and him not being invited. If it’s not such a big deal I don’t see why you can’t go … seems very suss to me !!!
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Funny that he hasn’t introduced you to her… especially if it’s his friend…A family man would do business at appropriate hours so his wife doesn’t think anything else like this
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Well guess that means you can go out to dinner with male friends and he watches your kid. See how he likes that.
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I’m sorry 8pm does sound more like a date friend or not. And friends know ur partners and get to know ur family! It does sound more secretive!
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Dump him and then hit him for c.s… you must be young to believe that fool and you need to realize that men are always looking for the next best woman…
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The fact is he told you he made plans with her for dinner so he is not hiding that he is meeting up with his old friend… additionally it could be 8pm dinner because maybe she works late. And third, you have a toddler, you don’t bring them out to dinner with a colleague that is not appropriate. And 4th, he isn’t hiding you when he is meeting an old colleague for dinner make or female, doesn’t matter. Also you have a toddler, going out to dinner with them especially later in the evening is not fun or enjoyable or easy in any way, you will be miserable doing that.
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It’s dinner for 3, reservations have been changed because ima bout to show up and show out 
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Uhmmmm he sounds like a cheater.
Just follow them and join them at the table. Lol
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Shady as hell. No way would my husband be having other women on his phone. He proudly displays our wedding. I am so blessed.
8pm is definitely late to have dinner while your wife and child are at home. Sounds like you have some hard decisions to make.
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Yeah that’s a hard no.
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THIS IS SUS Like it’s with a women and he won’t let you come, annnddd it’s late at night? Why wouldn’t you be allowed to come unless there’s something to hide. Do guys think we’re stupid and don’t know what’s going on?
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Girllll you better get dressed find a sitter and get ready to rumbleee 
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Yep, nope. This would not be okay with me
Oh no that’s his whole other woman hun
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If you’re this worried about it, get a babysitter and go on the dinner. If he continues to resist you coming then find a babysitter anyways and go spy on him. Record the interaction between the two of them and keep your calm. Go home calmly and pack your stuff if any weird stuff goes on and leave. When he asks you why you left then you can just send him the photographic evidence of him cheating and tell him to speak to your lawyer. If it turns out to be just a dinner between friends then maybe you can be a little more secure knowing he’s not cheating…?
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I meet or you don’t go point blank
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Show up to the date with the kid and one of your friends
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Lots of people eat later… If It becomes a habit then start making plans
Open up your eyes.This is a date.And god only knows what else.
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Why is he telling her no in the first place she should come before any other woman if he Is with her. It just makes it seem like he is up to something if he is telling her no
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Uhhh ya that would be a hell no from me and I wouldn’t be asking him shit lol, like I’m going k thanks
I’m sorry, but if my man was going ANYWHERE with another woman, and I am not allowed to go, then neither is he…He will never even put another woman on the back of our bike…Everyone knows, that is MY seat…There are some things that are just not ok when in a relationship, snd going out to dinner with anyone of opposite sex is one of them
No! , you already know why turn a blind eye! Trust your gut! show up instead then be ready with the confrontation!!
I’d put my foot down… this is fishy and as a married man he needs to respect your feelings in the matter
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THIS.IS.A.DATE. Put your foot down, he’s walking all over you, and crossing boundaries you clearly aren’t ok with. YOU and your child together come first. If not, show him the door. No one deserves to be a doormat.
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I’d say there’s a couple of different approaches based on the knowledge you have shared with us. Since she’s an old colleague, then the dinner most likely isn’t about business.
Here’s what I’d suggest:
He did tell you the place and you can tell him that you are going. You are going to hire a babysitter or you’re going to bring your toddler and that’s that. See his reaction.
2.) Based on his reaction/you’re comfort level, you can just go without him knowing. Hire a babysitter or just bring your toddler and maybe a friend.
3.) Don’t do either and when he’s home one of those days, tell him you’re going to leave and go do something since he was out. Or that you’re going to go meet up with someone. He isn’t the only one allowed out/meet up with friends. You’re toddler isn’t 100% just YOUR responsibility, it’s his too.
4.) You can just tell him how you feel and that you want to meet his friends/old colleagues/go out with him and if he can’t respect that, then maybe it won’t work out between you too.
I wish you luck! It sounds like he could be cheating. Either way, you deserve respect!
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Everything is gonna be ok…. I take time with my friends alone at time without my SO and he knows me well enough and trust me… I understand your concern but sometimes our SO just needs a little space …. Wishing you the best
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If you decide to go please get a babysitter. If you can. Baby doesn’t need to see it if drama starts. But I would get a baby sitter and go or I would put his stuff outside and tell him since he can’t involve you then yall are no longer together. Or just point blank tell him before he leaves if he has this dinner he better be prepared to come back to his stuff outside and a new place to live cause you aint no side peice. You are the mother to his child and deserve respect and deserve to be shown off or deserve someone who what’s to do them things with you.
I wish you luck momma
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Weird.id be following
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Omg…
I just don’t understand how some men and even woman GO THERE!
Taking advantage of YOUR kindness and TRUST my dear, that’s what he is doing. That’s a big NO NO…
We all warned you.
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Shit I’d do a pop up you and baby got to eat too
Don’t be a fool!! A man doesn’t meet with another woman for dinner when he has a SO and a toddler!! No & No either I could go or I’d find out what kind of dinner date it really is!!! If I spied and caught him cheating I’d go home pack him a bag put it outside the door. Lock the doors put a chair under the knob till you can change the locks! Don’t let him back in call the cops have him removed if need be!!! Don’t be stupid he does it once he’ll do it again!! If he is not cheating 
you still should come first! When was the last time he took you out to dinner? Just the two of you?? Photos on his phone wouldn’t be happening only enough room in a true relationship for one woman!!! Good luck!
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Go stalk him at the restaurant if you see them being lovely at least you no what’s going on
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I would give him a choice me or Dinner with her,if he chooses her,there is your answer.
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Better call a lifeline friend for last minute sitter. I’m coming to dinner! Who has to ask?! Why would a husband not want his wife there to show off. I totally get the toddler, but nah, wife should be expected.
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I’d call him for a babysitter to arrive and I’d show up do a little window shopping at the restaurant there at
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Say what now???
… Girrrlllllllll 
I would get a babysitter n not tell him n follow him to see what he’s doing then wait till he’s get to the place confront him in front of her… Sounds like a date to me…I wouldn’t allow it…
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My husband and I have opposite sex friends and sometimes do lunch alone or daytime outings but have never done an 8pm dinner with them
That would be a Big Hell No !!! I would put him and her in their place and his A** wouldn’t be going no where with another woman. Girl don’t let them treat you like a fool because that’s what they are doing.
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Yes there sounds like insecurity but I believe reasons to be insecure. No getting toddler involved. Three options,
- Trust him that it’s just a catch up with old friend.
- Get a babysitter and find out for yourself what’s going on.
- Have friends go and they can spy for you.
They’re your options. To me it doesn’t sound right that a man entertains another woman when he had a toddler and SO. I think that’s wrong. But you have to decide best cause of action for yourself. Best to know than not that’s my thoughts.
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I sure wouldn’t have brought a toddler, even if he said yes.
I’d have said heck no you’re not going unless I can go. He should have enough respect for u to say hey I’m going to bring my SO or “say 8 is little late. Lunch would be better”. it just doesn’t sound right. Trust or no trust it just sounds funny.
All this is inappropriate for someone who’s married.
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Work stays at work .
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Absolutely NOT!! My husband wouldn’t ever dare do this to me. HUGE RED FLAG GIRL!!
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I work late. If im meeting friends its around 7 to 8 pm. Sometimes I dont want tagalongs - its not because im fucking your man, im probably just burnt out and want specific friends in my space. Grab some food, catch up, go home.
I dont really see anything wrong with this other than the way he told OP she couldnt go. Some more explanation would have been nice but its not necessarily needed. Partners can have lives outside of their relationships 
. That includes having pictures of people of other genders on your phone. Ex coworker/mentor? Whats wrong with that? I have an entire folder with old photots on my phone, hell im sure some of my exes are even in there. Nothing inappropriate. Im really not seeing much wrong here. Side note - some of yalls knee jerk reactions are alarming with such little context. This is ALL conjecture.
C’mon, you already know what it is
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Girl either find out what is up.
Leave
Or be your own private eye and investigate.
Do not let the child be used as a reason for you not to go with him
Or comfront him and tell him what you think and feel.
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No not right since you all are married & being vegan is a bs excuse. Married people don’t do that. Drop your child off early so when he leaves you follow are you go get in car & tell him straight up your coming that your his wife & this so called friend should wonder why he’s doing this
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That would be a HELL NO
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You already know, peaches.
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Girl he went out on a date
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RED FLAGS ALL AROUND!!! If I was you I would just show up over there or tomorrow do the same thing he did to you.Tell him hey I’m going out to dinner with an old friend who’s male DONT WAIT UP IL BE LATE…That’s not ok for a man to do when he’s got a woman and child at home.He should have invited you at least and it’s your choice to go but to not invite you and act like he don’t want you there is very wrong.Theres a very bad reason you can’t be there.I would be asking questions and demanding honest answers and why does he have that many photos of another woman.Its all wrong
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Trust ur instincts. He is cheating.
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You should have said bring her here and I will make her a carrot salad.
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I’d be showing up to that dinner with our child.
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You need to ask. Use your gut instinct
I’d say a red flag because he was suspicious, it does seem like a date…however we also need to normalize men having women friends. Not all men are pigs.
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Call up your BFF, send her to the “restaurant” to confirm he ain’t even there then ditch him:bangbang:
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Think you already know what’s going on
Find a baby sitter and show up, or spy at least… i would want to know
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get a sitter and show up at the dinner with a friend
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Imma be the odd one out but like… his plan was to go out as a party of 2 and then u wanted to go and bring the kid and it probably defeats the purpose of going out. I go out with my guy friend and i would prefer my hubby doesnt go. The conversations are just different, and if your partner is there you cant rant if you need to. And maybe the other person would feel like a 3rd wheel?
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Girl, just go.
He ain’t just having dinner
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Ask what restaurant and show up anyway 
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The day my husband goes out to dinner alone “late” with an attractive woman who he saves pictures of on his phone will be the last day he’s married to me.
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I would of just said oh that’s ok I’ll have a late lunch and went on that date with him. If they are just mates then there should be no issue with you going and meeting and getting to know his friend.
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Ehhhhh no bueno my friend
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Come on, you know what’s really going on. It don’t take a rocket scientist to figure this out. He is messing around with her. Duh
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Why are you even allowing him to go??? I’m sorry but that totally is a date. You should show up with your kid in tow and walk up to the table and be like “sorry we are late babe are you going to introduce me to your friend?” Buahahaha see how he likes that.
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It’s a red flag. And I’d ask him was there anything I needed to know, because this sh&t don’t fly with me. I’m sorry, buts it’s disrespectful
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This seems like a date plus the fact he knows she’s vegan… weird. Tell him he can’t go that night cus you have a date with a friend at 7 lol
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If you aren’t welcome, there’s more going on.
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I wish my man would tell me he’s going to meet a friend that’s a girl at 8 o’clock at night for dinner. You better sit him down and tell him your feelings about what he’s doing. If he doesn’t change leave.
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listen to your brain not your heart … you already know
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Why couldn’t they have dinner at your home? If she’s such a good friend she should be happy to meet the family. If she’s such a good friend though why haven’t you all been introduced!? Seems suspect to me. Let him go then tell him you’d like to meet with her sometime maybe a introduction lunch since she’s such a good friend…
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