Have you tried cutting down her fluid intake at night time maybe she is embarrassed I know someone won’t say who who at 16 still does not all the time but does do it
Get the counseling for her
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Maybe she REALLY DOESN’T KNOW AND YOU ARE PUNISHING HER BECAUSE YOU THINK SHE IS LYING! Stop! She is ashamed and doesn’t know how to express it. Maybe you should stay out of it and let her dad and mom handle it.
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Put a trash can and a hamper in her room and teach her how to take out the trash and clean her own laundry… sounds like she’s ashamed of it and as much taking as you’re doing it might be having the opposite effect on her! The more you talk the more embarrassed she is! Imo just give her the means to handle it herself… also how old is she? Still 9? My daughter is 10 and she gets embarrassed about things so I just teach her how to handle herself and let her know that I’m here whenever she feels like she needs to talk
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She needs someone to talk with. Hope it works out.
There is obviously going on here and taking her door will do nothing and I find it shocking you are considering punishment. I understand she is lying but this child needs help. She is obviously embarrassed and doesn’t know what to do.
Something is going on either medically, sexually or abusively.
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There should be no “consequences” for this behavior. It’s not disobedience, and you sound cruel. You’re going to take her door when she’s clearly going through something? She already feels shamed, you’re only adding to it. She’s lying for a reason, you need to do some self reflection to figure out why. Not punish her more for it. And then going through her phone to read her private conversations? No wonder she doesn’t talk to you. Poor girl. She absolutely needs therapy.
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Ask her if anyone has abused her in any way. Tell her she’s safe with you. Tell dad that you will talk to her about it but don’t let him be there for it. Get her into therapy and please know it is not your fault.
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Is she being sexually abused?
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I would look into Reactive Attachment Disorder. I would also look into getting a therapist and/or behavior therapy.
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My step son did this until 15 WITH POOP! He ended up getting diagnosed with a few behavioral and developmental disabilities. It was finished by 15 with the help of a behaviorist and medications.
** Just a side note it could be something bigger. **
Um. I think she is a regressor. She may have experienced a trauma that brings it on. But from what you are saying, thats what it sounds like. Find a therapist that specializes in it and have her go see them. Punishment is not how it works. Dont be cruel.
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Bed wetting at this age is a HUGE red flag for sexual abuse
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Maybe all 3 of you sit down with her so your all on the same page.
I feel like she’s embarrassed…can you get her her own rubbish bin for her pads and show her how to chuck the sheets in the wash herself so nobody has to know? Maybe taking charge herself will empower her
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Give her her own hamper in her room for the soiled linen, a garbage pail for the pads. She could be embarrassed to bring you the soiled sheets.What you are saying are signs of sexual assault sad to say. Have her talk to a professional. Have her go to the bathroom before bed , wake her up to go when you go to bed and if either you or your husband wake up in the middle of the night wake her to go to the bathroom again.
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I had accidents until I was 17/ 18 and even some after that. My bladder would not “notify” my brain until it was to late. I even had some accidents while wide awake. And nothing was medically wrong
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This isn’t as abnormal as ppl think. Her body hasn’t quite caught up to her brain. Talking too a therapist can help her understand that she isn’t at fault. Work with them to help reinforce that she isn’t a freak or broken. It’s something that happens. Showing her the data may help. She really isn’t alone.
She isn’t trying to be deceitful, she’s embarrassed. My son was too.
So, you all must ask her, every morning. Ensure she puts the sheets, blankets, clothes in the washer and runs it. Ensure trash goes in the trash. If the washer is empty overnight, she can toss it in and let it runs then. My son knew how to address it so he never hid anything. We never made him feel bad nor did he gets in trouble. We used Goodnights and the bed pads. We also used plastic mattress covers. I’d put a new one on every week bc they can hold the smell.
She can get thru this but it has to be a family supported. No jokes or picking at her. That won’t help. Keep working together and loving her. She will make it thru this.
That’s a big read flag for sexual assault 
Second your child obviously is not ready nor responsible enough to have a phone !!! That’s very dangerous reel back on privileges that need adult supervision such as phone computer ect outside influences that could be effecting her negatively
Number one would be get a second Dr option. A GOOD DR, preferably a pediatric urologist not just a normal pediatrician. Secondly, she needs someone to talk to. With not just the bed wetting and lying, but also her parents not being together, being shipped back and forth, not feeling like she has her own place, which leads to not taking her door. She feels violated enough. Taking her door away would only cause more problems. She is hiding things cause she doesn’t feel like she has privacy to begin with, taking her door is taking away something she feels she already doesn’t have. Is there a garbage in her room for her to throw away souled things? Garbage in the bathroom? But she probably wouldn’t use that to begin with because then you see it and say “Oh L did you wet the bed again”, which she doesn’t want to be asked cause it’s embarrassing. Also who wants to have to carry that stuff through the house in front of everyone. It’s like not putting garbage cans in individual stalls in public restrooms, do you want to have to carry your tampon wrappers and dirty pads out in front of everyone to throw away, heck no!!! Also, when you want to talk to her, do not do it sitting across from her staring at her, that’s when you will get the “I don’t know”. Take her for a ride and talk when your sitting beside each other and do not have to look at each other. Or text her. I hate talking to people and am much better at writing things to get it out. Don’t make a big deal out of it. Show her where to put her wet things, not have to come up and give them directly to you. Put a garbage can in her room and let her empty it and take it out on garbage night. If you see her wet things don’t go and say “did you wet the bed again”, you obviously know she did. She is 9 yrs old, embarrassed as all hell, has no one to talk, she has no privacy left, her parents all got their own families going and she fits in no where. If there is nothing wrong physically then you know it’s an emotional/mental issue. Also like others had said I would ask if there is any sexual molestation going on as bed wetting can be a sign. Also you said about pads, not 100% if you meant she has her period already, which my daughter got hers at 9 yrs old so it doesn’t surprise me but also have that checked out. As woman all of that inside stuff effects each other, like bladder prolapse, UTIs, and stuff like that. Above all, I hope she finds someone she can truly trust to talk to. And I really really recommend the no eye contact when talking!! That’s why talking while driving and eating ice cream works very well. You don’t have to look at each other and the ice cream is so she has something else to concentrate on, much like a fidget toy.
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I feel.like.when u keep.bringing it up again and again…she is traumatized more and more…going to doctors time and again stresses her…no doctor can help in it. She just needs to be at peace and be calm… that’s it …just like sometimes ladies have problems and docs suggest a vacation …all to take the stress out…she actually needs to b given a break from being minutely scrutinized all the time
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Mama breathe…
Please don’t discipline her for this, it could actually get worse…
Our youngest son had issue into his teen years, we did all the steps n even tried medication. Bottom line was he slept hard n had an issue between brain n bladder (easy way to put) n a lot of kids do. Mostly if parents did as kids.
Every morning he’d put his stuff in a laundry hamper and garbage bin inside his room and take a shower. We made sure that everyone respected him n actually even his friends did (which was a big fear mostly for a boy teenager).
It did get better n in time he did outgrow. He still watches his diet n drinks before going to bed, mostly if extremely tired after sports or work.
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Tell her above all that you love her, let her kno that other ppl(of all ages) have the same issue and the doctor says she will be grow out of it. Then let her kno U have plenty of linen, clean clothes and personal supplies if she needs daily.
And let her kno that as a young lady you trust her to keep her room tidied up every morning so it doesn’t cause bugs and oders. Last let her kno U r always there if she needs to talk and U love her… This helped with someone I kno. 
’s
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You know this child who you haven’t said her age is probably EMBARRASSED by this medical/psychological problem. I’ll be honest, I read three quarters and felt suffocated so I quit reading.
Maybe everyone needs to back off some and she won’t feel the need to hide anything. Like maybe she can’t get to the trash can without being called out for something embarrassing her.
Taking her door off her bedroom is probably the cruelest thing I’ve read on here.
No consequences!!! Put a garbage can in her room… I’m just going to put this out there…I had accidents until I was 12.I was sexually abused for many years by a family member…It is one of the signs… I wouldn’t punish her Id try to get to the reason why it’s happening…
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What I’m seeing is you focusing on the wrong issue….
Instead of making a child feel like a bad person (‘lying’), how about getting to the deeper rooted issue of why the child doesn’t view you as a safe person to come to when in need.
Bed wetting is one of the main symptoms of early childhood trauma.
It was a bit odd that you chose to point out that your daughter is the sole child of the coparent…. Are you feeling as if you have a 1-up somehow on parenting just because you procreated more times?
The intimidation tactic of having the child clean their room with you hovering/ ‘supervising’ is very very strange. The child’s room is their own space. Spying on and invading her conversations with her friends?! That is so inappropriate. You are invading every aspect of this child’s’ personal space, and it’s backfiring really severely onto you. As it should.
This kid needs therapy, everyone in the family does because this is a failing situation.
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You never discipline a child for peeing the bed.
Something is definitely going on that you’re not aware of. I hope a therapist can help.
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Just support her, I’m gonna be 1 in a thousand and say I was a bed wetter until mid 4th grade/partially at the end of 4th grade. I had bad sleep paralysis and terrors and it wasn’t until the next year I began to control my dreams normally and control my astral projection.
Sounds like sexual abuse somewhere
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1st of all she’s probably so embarrassed bout everything. The hiding of dirty pads & under wear etc or mabe feels like she can’t talk 2 u
There’s obvious trust issues. Mainly ¹on her end not punish her that’s the worst thing 2 do you’ll only make the situation worse
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No consequences at all. I agree with the garbage can for her soiled pads and the ability to wash her own linens with gentle reminders. The best bet would be counselling or a therapist I think.
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First off, I know it has nothing to do with the situation, but I’m honestly glad you guys have the pleasant parenting situation that you do, that makes it a lot easier to do anything if you guys are united. Second, you think it may seem unpopular but I agree with the door thing. It seems as if you’re trying everything you can. I think she sounds embarrassed, which is understandable, but she just has to be honest and open with you. I don’t think there’s anything you can do other than what you have. I’m sorry
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Someone in her past when she was younger has shamed her and punished her for bed wetting. She is afraid
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No consequence at all. This is mental health related at this point, and my daughter went thru this, it’s anxiety based. I have bad anxiety and panic disorder and she does as well. She needs to talk to a psychiatrist asap and in mean time,
Stop talking about it in front of anyone , make sure it’s always a private convo between you and her , put trash can with lid in her room,
Keep wipes and clean stuff in there and give her privacy. Negative Consequences are going to reinforce the behavior not help it. Most important thing is to jsut focus on helping her and getting her into someone to talk to asap.
Reactive Attachment Disorder. Research this because a lot of what she is doing sounds exactly like what children with this do.
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She’s clearly very embarassed. Please don’t remove her door.
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This girl needs counseling to find out what’s going on.
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Please don’t remove her door. A girl her age needs privacy. Just get her into counseling and let the counselor guide you, NOT Facebook.
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Put a trash can with a lid in her closet. Not a big one. So she can change in private and throw them away in private. You may not be shaming her but she may be ashamed herself. Ask her if that would help. It may be she doesn’t want to parade to the bathroom or out the door. I wouldn’t remove her door as this could cause further privacy embarrassment issues
If this started since you have been with her dad, I would say, you unfortunately just might be the problem. I am not saying you aren’t being good to her, but somewhere she is having a problem with that. Then you bring another child in her dad’s life, then add her dad & you also had a child together !! Then add, it’s still continuing. Don’t remove her door. I would think that is only going to add to the problem. I do believe maybe getting some help for her.
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My step son was 11yrs he was still bed wetting his mother had taken him to many Drs to no avail I said there is definitely something being missed thank goodness a specialist found the problem urethra tube was only half as long as it was supposed to be so no matter what when he was sleeping he would be soaked because with this defect his bladder didn’t ever empty correctly once surgery was done to correct it problem solved don’t you think this is hard enough on her as it is my step son didn’t want to disappoint us so he tried to hide wet bedding from us not all Drs are good Drs so please take her to someone until problem is found don’t you dare punish her she needs love & understanding for something happening beyond her control I agree also with comment about her possibly being abuse
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Get her a couple locking garbage pales. 1 for soiled hygiene products-2nd for soiled laundry . She needs to recognize that what is happening is natural for some , but her responsibility to clean it . She will appreciate the clean room , sheets , clothing etc… if she does it herself . I imagine the smell is putrid hence her cleaning that herself she may take more care as she is clearly being coddled with this matter . Have the pales stored in a closet in her room where no one can see it .
Get her an assortment of feminine cleaning products. Wipes , body wash , her own personal towels … something to make it fun and want to keep her physical hygiene up along with her private space .
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She need to talk with a psychologist. Her bedwetting has an emotional foundation.
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Be honest I don’t think your whole post is true, someone has made her feel like she needs to hide them, Why would she be hiding them if it’s all rainbows and butterflies like you’re saying
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Counseling will help her and you. Please do not remove her door. A friend of mine did that to her son. Counselor said that is so wrong.
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I would give her a special basket for just the soiled linen so she wouldn’t have to hide them. Let her know this basket is for the soiled linen so we can wash it accordingly. This would be to avoid hiding them, but also so she doesn’t have to say it all the time. And make sure she has a trash can for spoiled pads. Forcing her to tell you every time she has an accident sounds like she’s embarrassed and getting overwhelmed with this whole situation. Y’all already know she’s having accidents and who knows how anyone is making her feel about it. So I would treat her like a little adult, and show her how to clean it up. Open door policy for when she’s ready to talk, but you know, also checking in and making it known that you’re there 100%. But of course, having her talk to a therapist who specializes with children should be beneficial!
Shes probably super embarrassed. Put a laundry basket and a trash can in her room so she can discreetly dispose of her soiled items. Would you want to parade your accidents around the hose for everyone to see? Neither does she- especially if she is naturally a private person. Your understanding of the situation does not lessen her embarrassment of it. 9 year Olds don’t understand emotions the way adults do- she may not even realize what she’s feeling is embarrassment. Taking her door off and giving her less privacy is going to make things worse, instead make clean up easy and discreet for her.
It sounds like you have tried all you know to do. The only other thing I could recommend is a child or adolescent Psychologist. If you feel that taking her door will stop her from hiding the soiled linens and pads, then try it, but if it doesn’t work you should be willing to put the door back and in the meantime maybe discuss putting a curtain up so she has some level of privacy but not as much as with a door.
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I’d hold off on punishment, and definitely dont take the girls door. You said shes going to talk with someone. Let her get through some of that and see what might be going on and if you gain any insight.
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Her parents whoever medically deals with her needs to be more pushy with doctors. There’s an underlying issue. Idk I’m sorry I’m the parent when I know something is up I don’t take the generic “they’ll grow out of it” answer.
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Don’t remove the door, cys would call that a hazard in case of a fire. Coming from personal experience, I pray she wasn’t abused or touched in some inappropriate way. That caused my brother and I these kinds of issues. You’re also describing her as being severely anxious and is afraid of you coming across the real reason why.
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Ummm similar situation with urologist, you might want them to check her Kidney Reflux, sometimes it seems minor or they over look it. There’s therapy available for kids to help them with their reflux and also several noninvasive procedures, avoiding bed wetting and normally it’s because (something I learn) us as women we never use the restroom correctly and that’s why women are prone to UTI’s because we never release the urine all the way and it cause bacteria in our urine glands.
Anywho back to urologist, I would follow up again and have them check her reflux and they do an iodine scan and it’ll show if her tubes are leaking when leaving the kidney or if the tubes are retracting back up to the kidneys due to her not using the restroom properly.
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Was she ever sexually abused I know for others and of all ages bed wetting without a medical issue can be do to sexual abuse just wanted to throw it out there but good luck I think her talking to someone will help with whatever it is
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There’s an underlying reason why she’s wetting the bed.
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Have her checked for asburgers or High functioning Autism or ADHD or ADD there has to be a reason
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It sounds like she is very embarrassed about it. I mean if I was her age and had that happening I would be absolutely humiliated. I remember how I felt about anything like that when I was that age. I started my period at 10 and was mortified. Didn’t even tell anyone for months.
Do not remove her door. I 100% believe it will make it worse. There are a few things that can cause bed wetting outside of health issues, usually it’s mental health concerns. Anxiety, R.A.D, depression, abuse, etc. In my opinion a therapist/counselor is absolutely the next step.
And until you can get her into the counselor I would suggest that her mom speaks to her at the mom’s house, and that you or her father speaks to her at your house (whichever one you think she would feel more comfortable talking to- sometimes girls don’t feel comfortable talking to their dad’s about stuff like this). Remind her that she won’t get in trouble, it’s not her fault, she doesn’t have to be embarrassed around you guys, you all understand she doesn’t chose this and that you know she’s upset about it and that you all just want to help her get through this.
Explain what the plan is to help her (counseling, etc). I would also suggest that you guys suggest she doesn’t drink anything after a certain time at night. Remind her to use the bathroom before bed. And then this may suck but set an alarm on your phone for halfway through the night. When that alarm goes off, gently wake her up and tell her it’s time to try going to the bathroom, after she comes back tell her that you appreciate her getting up in the middle of the night. Then tell her to sleep well and everyone goes back to bed. It should help prevent some of the nighttime accidents. Obviously don’t withhold drinks after a certain time, you don’t want her to get dehydrated or feel like a necessity is being limited. But just privately and quietly suggest to her to not drink much after say 6pm at night so that she doesn’t have to pee as much during the night.
There is probably a reason for the bed wetting. And if you can’t find a physical medical reason for it then it’s probably psychological. That’s why the therapist/counselor is so important. Often that’s how people find out their child is bed wetting due to some sort of assault or mental health concerns. It can be something serious like assault or it can be something as simple as anxiety or feeling shame about this issue. But it’s very important to try to not make a huge deal about it for her sake. Quiet private conversation can help this young girl who is prepubescent or around puberty age, and becoming aware of bodily changes and what’s considered normal and not normal for kids her age. For a kid of this age to be wetting the bed it will affect her friendships, her self worth and self esteem and her general mood.
You guys are definitely making her feel bad even if you feel like you aren’t.
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Please don’t punish her. She is going through some type of trauma. Does bio mom have a boyfriend or sig other? Get this poor baby some psych help, it sounds as if she’s being abused
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I wouldn’t do to much til she sees a therapist. And Def stick to it. Something g is going on somewhere and I hope the therapist will be able to figure it out and help you guys. I feel for her and you all too but just go easy with everything. She’s still young and unable to tell you how she feels she’s not sure what words to use if that makes any sense and that’s why she keeps saying idk.
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Therapist/psychologist is the solution.
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Bed wetting and hiding stuff like that points to sexual abuse. I would look at anyone she’s been left alone with or talk to her about it or take her to a psychologist.
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Lay off on the poor child …ur probably the cause of her bed wetting 
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Stephanie Danley So true. Even check out the ones when she was younger.It becomes a pattern.
I agree with others who say a therapist is the solution. There must be some underlying issue, if it isn’t physical. Perhaps adhd, high functioning autism, etc? My bonus daughter was also wetting the bed and lying/hiding it last year (she was 10). I too, was worried about sexual abuse or something happening, but she was adamant that she wasn’t. And her counselor said she didn’t think it was abuse either. She was super embarrassed and ashamed, which is why she was hiding and lying about it. The reason she was bed wetting was due to her adhd. Once we started giving her medicine for it, she stopped bed wetting. I personally wouldn’t give her a consequence other than making her clean up her room right now. I think it’s important that the three of you talk to her and make sure she knows that if she continues to LIE TO YOU, she will be in trouble for lying. NOT for messing the bed. Offer her a garbage bag, maybe a black one?? And tell her that she can put her used pads in there. And maybe her own laundry hamper for her to discreetly discard her soiled linens. Then you can wash them and we will say no more about it other than what the therapist advises you to do.
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Put plastic in her bed so the bed doesn’t soak it up anymore. It will wake her up and she can’t just ignore it.
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I wouldn’t take the door off her room. I doubt she is telling her friends anything… she’s probably humiliated beyond belief. I would say if there’s not a physical reason behind the incontinence, there’s a psychological one. Therapy is the best move you can make on this. I would also switch her over from sanitary pads to incontinence underwear. Pads aren’t good enough. They don’t hold enough fluid. I would ask her to limit how much liquid she drinks after 6pm. Keep popsicles for her to have if she’s thirsty after 6pm. Let her wear the adult incontinence underwear. Ask her to tell you if she feels any burning when she goes. If she notices any bad smell, anything to indicate an infection that might have a chance to clear some before a doctor’s appointment. Ask her, when she goes to the bathroom, to be sure she empties her bladder all the way every time. Maybe she doesn’t without realizing it. Those are the things I can think of. Keep working with her and keep the lines of communication open.
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It sounds like depression and anxiety. I would get her appointments with a counsellor and let her know that it’s not for punishment but, to help her through all her feelings as they are professionals that are qualified to help all youths.
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Play counseling would maybe help her and does her mom have boyfriends over? Has she been messed with? Has her mother beat her? There is so many reasons why that she could be doing this like I said try play counseling she would play or paint and feel at ease to talk to the counselor about why she is wetting the bed!!! Please remember it takes a lil bit to get use to a counselor. My son was raped and it was his father’s COUSIN my son was 6 had not went the bed since he was 2 I found out after he spent 2 weeks with his dad I couldn’t figure out why he was peeing the bed took him to doctor because he said he couldn’t poop. I thought it may be the reason for wetting the bed. I found out from doctor he was raped 5 times in 2 weeks. I called his dad and told him what doctor said and DFS was called. Charged pressed against his father’s COUSIN but still left my son not talking to me about it. So put him in PLAY THERAPY!!! He Has not seen his dad since this happened he walked out of his life. He is 13 and doing great now so proud of him!!! Good luck I will pray for ya!!!
First she should have been in therapy a long time ago. Second when she went to the dr did they do actual testing?? Did they ultrasound her bladder?? What about fluid intake? Is she being told to use the bathroom before bed?? I’d show her you’re more upset about the lying than the wetting the bed. And she absolutely should have consequences for lying. It’s a huge deal. Lies can ruin lives and thats something that needs to be instilled from a young age. It wasnt just dirty diapers it was food and trash too. Accidents happen, lies dont accidentally happen. And once a child starts being sneaky and hiding stuff it becomes a really hard habit to break them of. And soon enough it wont be just about wetting the food and hiding trash, itll become more and more serious. I’d also definitely limit her fluid intake before bed and make sure the 3/4 hours before bed shes emptying her bladder as much as she can.
She is extremely embarrassed. She also needs her privacy. Just check her room when she is a away and pick up her pads and toss them. She will outgrow it.
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She has a right to privacy. You can’t just take off her door. Your teaching her that her privacy is not respected. And that’s not okay.
See how things go with the therapist, and I would be going through her phone checking pictures, texts, any social media etc.
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She hides them because she’s embarrassed.
Give her a trash bin in her bedroom and let her know it’s her responsibility to take it out daily.Get her bed pads if she’s wetting the bed… that way she doesn’t have to hide the linens. Also, teach her how to do laundry, specifically bed linens and remind her to wash them every two to three days… put a bed protector under her mattress cover…
Why don’t you just put a bin in her room and a laundry basket so she can clean up after herself without it being a discussion?? She obviously doesn’t want to talk about it so why force her?? You (parents) know there’s a problem, if she was 9 when you met her I’m assuming she’s a few years older now. Rather than punishing her for lying to you I think you should respect that she doesn’t want to talk about it, she’s probably embarrassed
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Back off a little please… she probably really doesn’t know, and cant figure it out with you like a hawk on her shoulder
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Who had the talk with her about menstruating?
Seems like she’s frightened about bleeding.
Perhaps she don’t really understand what’s going on. Please be gentle.
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She doesn’t deserve any punishment for this. You can’t punish a child for doing something she can’t help and she’s probably so embarrassed to discuss it with you especially if you’re talking about it so openly with everyone.
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Try putting pull ups on & plenty of praise on the times she has a dry night "I did this to my last daughter & it worked a treat 
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She needs a therapist. I would say what’s going on is psychological in nature.
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Sounds like she may have some psychological issues that a psychiatrist should evaluate. Remember, you are not her parent. Her mom and dad should sit down and discuss things. You should sit it out.
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You could try backing off. She needs her privacy and you are making her uncomfortable. She should be with her own mother, someone who loves her enough to understand her.
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Man you suck 
can’t believe you wanna 1) go through her private conversations because you think you have some god given right to her personal and private information because she’s under your roof and 2) remove all privacy by removing her door
Sheesh I’d lie through my teeth too to you, you seem like half the issue not gonna lie love. She’s lying for a reason and it’s probably because you’re the step mother from hell.
How can you not know about all these soiled pads and underwear? There has to be an odor from all that urine and who is buying the pads and doing the laundry? It sounds like she’s embarrassed, regardless of getting in trouble or not and that’s why she’s being dishonest about it. It sounds like you have already ruled out anything medical so I would definitely get her into counseling. You said she’s been doing this since she was 9, how old is she now?
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Just want to reiterate that you are actually a joke and it’s so obvious to see you have the im big and your small attitude, do what I say or I’ll remove your door and go through your phone type attitude. Take a long hard look at yourself and the father because that’s where it started mate 
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She is mostly like embarrassed about it and does not understand why she doing it I had the same issues when I was a kid i out grow it for the most part it may be as simple as limited her drinking until a certain time and than she done with drinks until next morning have her go to the bathroom right before bed and see how that works also they are the best advice anyone gave my parents and it help me good luck
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I agree to a lot of things you guys are saying but on another note as a step parent myself how dare some of you say things like she needs her real mom and to sit out the conversation bs! She obviously cares about her step daughter and while she may not be doing everything right I’d love to know who tf in here is perfect. At least she’s freaking here asking for help from other got damn parents Jesus!!
You are aware of what is happening…
So each morning go into her room and change the sheets…
Its that simple isnt it 
Also place a bin in her room.
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Stop giving her anything to drink past 8:00
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Therapy. I know someone who did this, but they also would pee on the pile of clothes instead of actually going to the bathroom. She was on meds but would hide the medication and not take it. She was a compulsive liar when it came to that as well.
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I think you’re the problem. Look at the way you speak of her and what she’s going thru. Maybe she hiding it knowing you will speak about her somewhere. You might have that munch house proxy cause you’re over doing it.
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It’s a trauma reaction. She has to be having deep dreams and she is so deep into them that she doesn’t realize it. I’d make sure to be having her pee before bed, no drinks or food in her room past an hour before she goes to bed, and try some melatonin just one night here and there to help her get better sleep. I had the same issue of bed wetting that I even occasionally do it as an adult. I’ve noticed it happened more frequently with the harder days as a child. My parents yelled a lot, my siblings and I were abused, etc so the rough days made for rough nights. It made me feel so embarrassed that I wouldn’t wanna talk to my mom about, I’d be too scared to get out of bed in the mornings and one of my parents find out I peed that I would hide my dirty sheets in my closet. Don’t make her feel embarrassed. You obviously aren’t forming a healthy relationship with her and YOU SHOULD BE considering she’s your daughter, step or not. She’s your daughter and you support her and care for her as your own. If that’s too hard to do, you’re going to hurt her more than anything.
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Give her a wash bin of her own for dirty bedding etc and a clean set to put on her bed along with night wear and then a bin for wet pads used. Everything of her own in her room with her door so she has her space and privacy and then say no more beyond please use these instead of hiding it all to stink the room. Then make sure she knows she can come to you when she wants to and you’ll not speak about it anymore. She’ll probably grow out of it once you’ve backed off a bit and quit putting so much focus on it. Also cut drinks before bed. If she continues maybe something is happening to her and this is her way of crying out so a professional to talk to but I’d definitely try taking the focus off it all
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I would take her shopping get her a new bin for her bathroom and get her to pick some new sheets make a big deal about getting some nice stuff she likes, this helped my daughter out alot cause she liked them it also give u time to bond with thr shopping spree, maybe try modibody undies these can be used for urine and period if she is old enough to have her period I wouldn’t bother with nappies this would be embarrassing,
I would be checking her room every day and cleaning it up without saying anything to her not making a big deal out of it eventually she will see it isn’t a big deal and start doing it herself.
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DO NOT take her door.
Don’t punish her !
Good grief 
She is not trying to be mean or hurt you…
She may need some therapy or a psychiatrist. Give her love and an ear to listen. Don’t judge her. Her hiding things seems like she is feeling shame. Don’t make her feel worse 
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Get her a therapist that she has is comfortable with. Try more than one if you have to. There are psychological issues that need to be cared for by a professional.
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You aren’t her mother, you have no right to make the decision to take her door off. She may have been abused and has psychological issues.
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A few things… Maybe for the pads get her a trash can that she can put them in so she don’t feel the need to hide them. And for the linen maybe a hamper only for soiled linen and a little 2 sided card to hang on the outside of her door that she can flip when she needs soiled linen cleaned? That way she don’t have to physically come to you and tell you she soiled it? Or something along the lines of that