If you are not allowed to interact with him, you have to keep your kids close. Let them know they can’t be alone with him, and keep them with you. Don’t give the little psycho any opportunities. We had this happen with one of my cousin’s kids and I kept my kids with me, they weren’t allowed to play with the other kids. Eventually the kid pulled his sadistic nonsense at school. Now he gets counseling at school and has really come a long way. Just be honest with your kids and never let the newborn out of your sight.
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Thats crazy… If you aren’t allowed to deal with the situation, I wouldn’t allow him near the kids… That kid needs parents, blood or not doesn’t matter!
When a child in my home I’m going to treat them the same as my children!
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Omg beeeeat his ass and then dumb ass daddy’s 
Na but seriously he sounds like he’s on the path to being a sociopath/serial killer, he deffs need to go and see someone. That would honestly be a deal breaker for me, my kids will ALWAYS come first and I would give a fuck what my hubby says if the idiot wasn’t disciplining properly.
Your first priority should be your children, not what your husband thinks. YOU are their protector! If your husband is ok with his kid hurting yours and gets mad when you bring it up, maybe it’s time for a better husband.
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get out of that situation. leave.
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Call cps & report anonymously that he abused other children and cats.
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I would sit down and figure out expectations… Starting with finding a form of disapline… If ur husband cannot accept and compromise on term. I would leave. The other kids should not be exposed to abuse by a sibling.
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Your children are not safe in this environment and if your husband does not want to seek help for the child or do anything about it I would leave him. You are far to kind because that shit wouldn’t fly with me . I don’t play with people messing with my kid.
I’d absolutely get up and go. Refuse to look after this child. I’d just go it’s not fair on the other children
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Sounds like he needs to see a Dr and ee whats going on. Soudns simulair to a child who may have Autism or another mental disorder. Your husband needs to undertand your children cant be scared to be in there own home. Thats not fair at all.
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Get a camera and tape him then show your husband he needs help
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Unless your husband can watch him CONSTANTLY- he needs to make childcare arrangements for him outside the home. Your pregnant and have other children to put first over this. Either your husband addresses this now or when he gets into the school system he’ll be dealing with DCF. Schools won’t tolerate his behavior.
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I wouldnt be 2ith anyone who didnt trust me to discipline their child. Hell no
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That little boy need help ASAP. Hurting animals is the first step of a killer. And if your husband isnt going to do anything about it then I would take my kids and leave. Tell him if he cant get him to stop then you are leaving because you have to put your children safety before your happiness. If they dont feel safe then he should be around them. And with a baby coming it will get worse if he doesnt do something about it. And also thats bullshit about you not being allowed to discipline him. You are his stepmother and should be allowed to if he isnt following your rules.
Refuse to watch him. Your husband will need to be the one to supervise him constantly if you are not allowed to step in when you need to.
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If you can try and talk to your husband if you are actually scared of your husband and that’s the answer take your kids and leave. If you’re not scared of your husband and he just gets upset and you don’t want to deal with the fight it’s time to stand up and stand your ground. there is no way whether he’s four or not that he should be doing that I have kids and the only time that my three-year-old starts terrorizing anybody is when his brothers and sisters start picking on him but for the most part kids are going to fight and kids are going to play in kids are going to get hurt but this does not sound like that this sounds like either the kid needs help because he is going through stuff that he can’t comprehend or there could be many different thingsall I know is you got to protect those babies and your husband has to get on board with trying to figure out why your son is doing this and you need to put your foot down and say that you know what I don’t care if he’s your child or not he is going to respect the rules in this house
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My 9 year old does this to his real brother and tries to do it to his real sister they are all mine. It’s a psychological issue my son feels as though I don’t love him bc I had another child. In a sense he feels abandoned jealous and everything in between but he also has ocd anxiety and bi polar he needs stress relief tell his dad that he needs to do just a day for daddy and son time w out another adult or child around
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Oh hell no. Absolutely not. If he is staying with you, around your children, you are absolutely allowed to discipline him. If his bio parents don’t want you to discipline him, they need to find someone else to watch him. This is 100% not okay, and 100% not fair to your children at all. Fuck being civil, this is coming down to the safety and health of your kids. How are you going to feel if he seriously injures or kills one of your children? I’d be a hell of a lot more worried about that than I would be able his mother or father being angry with me. Pull your big girl panties on and be an advocate for you kids, fuck.
Follow him n do same??
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your husband needs therapy on how to discipline a 4 year old…
If you dont take control now, ,it will soon be too late…
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I’d throw that boy outside and spray him down with a hose. Seriously. Those kinda kids turn into sadists and abusers. He needs a good spray down and he might switch up. Don’t be afraid to discipline a child even if it’s not yours. It takes a village. If it’s not you who disciplines him then it’ll be the police.
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Bust that ass that’s the only psychiatrist he needs
That kid needs help. Discipline, structure, stability are a must! This is your home and your children and you need to protect them. Start disciplining this out of control child immediately and consistently. If your husband doesn’t like it, take your kids and leave.
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Separate them. I know that sounds hard and I’m sure it will be, but the kids getting injured need you right now. If you can’t discipline the boy you can atleast remove the ability to misbehave for now until the boys father can see light. It will seem like discipline to the boy as he can’t do his thing now. He may even direct it all at your husband when he gets the chance as he’s lost other targets - and that may prompt him to do something? I hope you get some help soon.
BS you are indangering your daughter. Not safe for your daughter to be in environment. Children’s servicesnow that public aware could get involved and that would not be good.
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Your husband, his father needs to get his head out of the clouds and get this child some help he is seriously going to hurt someone really bad or hurt your newborn baby. And if he doesn’t you should leave with your children
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My step son used to take my other twos toys when no one was looking him and my son were only 2 months apart and my son is non verbal. I started paying attention when he would come out of the room with a toy I know my son had. Then I started watching and when I’d see it was happening I’d catch him red handed, make him give the toy back and put him in time out. I would never spank him, for one I’d never allow my ex’s girlfriend to touch my children but I was firm and stuck with the time outs. He was also into a hitting phase. I would catch him and if his dad was home I’d make him take care of the discipline and he would spark and put him in time out. Then me and him had our own child. He’s great with his little brother as well as being wayyyy better with my other two. I knew it was a phase and he was used to it just being his daddy and him so I was extremely patient and understanding of the jealousy. But as far as your step son goes it sounds like his dad needs, to be a bit harsher if that be a stern louder voice(especially if he’s never heard his dad get loud t should shock him a bit, maybe a spanking, or time out/things being taken away from him. Maybe making him sit down and watching the there play he will learn to stop and realize it’s not fun to be left out. I’m hoping for your sake it’s a phase like I went through with mine. But I don’t blame you as of now I wouldn’t leave him alone with the baby at all. Therapy might be helpful as well I’ve never went that route. Good luck and hope it works out but you really need to have a convo with dad and get on the same page.
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Also- that sounds a lot like learned behaviors. I’d pay closer attention to what he’s watching. He could be let’s just say… inspired
Keep his lil ass away i know what a belt across his ass feel like
Maybe I’ve watched too many serial killer documentaries but I’m fairly certain a BIG red flag when kids are little are abusing innocent animals… this kid needs to be seen by a professional. And you should be allowed to discipline him. Also Dad needs to speak to you IN PRIVATE about ANYTHING you do that he doesn’t agree with. If the 4 yr old knows you’re not allowed to discipline him then that means Dad has been correcting you in front of him and that has made him aware of how the 4 yr old is the boss not you.
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I’d press charges on this kid! Protect your own first!!
That is not rough behavior my 5yo son is rough but he doesnt ever intentionally hurt anyone else or animals… He like to jump off the couch and wrestle with his big sisters 11&13 but this kid im sorry to say sounds the he will grow up to be a sociopath… Your husband is in the wrong as well you should absolutely be able to discipline that boy especially if your home alone with him!!! Your husband might not be the man you should be raising a family with?
if your husband dont want you to corrct him tell him to take the child to a motel for his visits or maybe to his moms .but not at your house if you cannot correct him
Your husband cant be blind to certain behaviours just because it’s his son. He cant make excuses for his son. It’s only going to hurt the child worse in the end when he cant live a normal life. It’s up to us parents to notice these kinds of behaviours and get your child the help they need before they end up killing a person or an animal. Then, parents will feel guilt. If your husband doesnt want to get him help I would leave. You cant have your other smaller children getting hurt and threatened. It’s not fair to them. As far as you disciplining him, that’s bullshit! Especially if your husband is leaving you alone with him. Best of luck to you and your family. Especially the little boy. He is still innocent. He just needs help. ASAP!
Omg! If he is torturing animals and smalk children, it will get worse! If your husband can’t see this you have to leave to protect your children!! This is serious, thos isn’t a “rough personality” I’m scared for your children.
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All I know is that none of that is going to change unless it is addressed. Continuing to allow that behavior with virtually zero consequences is not going to be good for your other children. It will take a toll on your marriage. I’ve been there. You both need to agree on a solution or eventually you’ll be forced to protect your children from your step child at all costs.
Im sorry but i wouldn’t watch a child I could not displine for a minute. Im not talking about whipping the kid, but you should be able to put him in time out, withhold treats, take the electronics away what ever it takes. Him physically hurting your children is not okay. The child obviously resents you and knows you have no power. I would lay down the damn law, if your husband does not respect you or your children, it’s only a matter of time until your husband treats you like shit to. If a kid put his hands on my daughter I would make sure he got the message that it’s not acceptable and will not happen again.
If I can’t correct him when he’s wrong then I wouldn’t be watching him He wouldn’t be coming to my house unless my husband was home and can watch his child and make sure he acts correctly
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Also if that doesn’t work. I’d end the relationship all together. If your husband is THAT dumb and unreasonable to those actions then he doesn’t sound like a fit parent.
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He’s 4? Sounds like he has some issues that need looking into before they get worse.
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Im gonna be a mumma in a few months and have a similar situation with some of my siblings. But they are just rough (tho i think one of them may be a killer in the making). Once bubba arrives i wont let him out of my sight. My SO is agreeing with me too. My siblings can be too rough and wont take know for an answer. The government is involved and wont let my mum or step dad discipline them. So id be careful and leave if you can. Ill tell my mum and step dad every time im over, “if they get too rough or upset me too much, im leaving with my baby!”.
You need to get out of there. He needs help. If the state gets alerted they not only will take him but will take others because of endangerment and look to you both for not rectifying the situation. Tell your husband your leaving and why. Don’t give in, it’s time to protect your children…something he isn’t doing
Not making any excuse for his behavior but it’s obvious he has issues, one being attention craving, and maybe a touch of ADHD!! My advice would be is to discipline him!! The longer you allow this the bigger be will get and so will his issues!! Make an appointment with a Nuero-psychologist with therapy!! If your husband gets upset you break it down to him as you did it his way and now y’all will do it your way or he isn’t allowed to stay unless he is present 24/7!! I’m sure the idea of being stuck with his kid who’s like this will trigger him to go along!! When disciplining him don’t tell or hit but be firm and get down to his height level so you can look him in his eyes and hold strong on the punishment, no TV, outside, etc. You never know he might be seeing this behavior at his mom’s house or being treated badly!! Definitely get him to the doctor though!!
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No way that kid would be allowed to be around my children. Especially with a newborn on the way.
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when u want high house u have to abide with step so dont complain is yr choise
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Girl that’s your house you discipline that child… Separate him from everyone Everytime he does this, it attention seeking behavior so take the attention away as consequence.
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You absolutely need to do something. A rough personality doesn’t physically hurt others. The kid needs help. It would be better if your husband does it BEFORE the school system does or some one reports his behaviors. You can’t pretend it isn’t happening because you don’t like what you see and your husband needs to open his eyes before we have a future serial out there. I’m sorry you all have to deal with him but he needs next level care.
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I think if that child is in ur house and under your care you should be able to discipline him. That’s crap. It’s your home. Your children’s safety is being compromised. Your husband is part
Of the problem. Smdh
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That’s not normal behaviour and it will get worse without some discipline and a psychologist. Also if he’s terrorised a cat that’s how most killers and offender start out. My boy may rough house but, he never goes that far and shows remorse/guilt when he does accidentally hurt someone. He doesn’t follow people around to hurt them.
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Nip this in the bud now ,child needs to see doctor and find out why he is being so agressive . Something is up . Is he verbal? If not he is communicating something .
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That boy needs a belt took him now. If that was my kid he was doing this to and his dad wont do anything or let me do anything they would both be gone.
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Nothing about that is normal. A healthy child who has had to deal with issues at home and acts negatively for attention doesn’t go around harming animals or hurting people to that extent. If you aren’t allowed to address these very real problems I’d take my kids and leave until they are seriously dealt with. I understand that’s drastic for some people but if my kids aren’t safe I do whatever it takes to make them safe and your husband isn’t doing anything about it so any other option isn’t viable.
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I’d set up a camera, so your husband can see it, or start treating you husband the same way and see if he likes it
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If I can’t discipline a child even more so to protect other children…I won’t watch them. Point fkink blank. So if hubby isn’t home he would need to find a sitter or other places for his to stay. He needs helps. Sounds like everone would benefit from some counseling. Are you saying your husband wont let you make his give back a toy, say hes sorry for hitting, put him in time out, and treat his like you do all the rest? If so there is more problems then just a mentality unhealthy child.
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Lots of comments and I didn’t read through them all So someone may have already suggested but I highly suggest looking into occupational therapy
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I would tell your pos of a husband that his kid is not welcome unless he is there with him at all times!! Don’t cook clean or do shit for this kid make his pos father do it! And please warn the neighbors about what this ( soon to be serial killer) is doing to their cat!
It’s normal for kids to hit each other, I have 4 kids they constantly fight and I discipline them. That’s pretty normal. Torturing animals is not. In fact, most serial killers torture animals as children. Get him some help before it’s too late, something is going on.
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I probably shouldnt give any advice here. Ive seen to many crime shows and what your describing sounds like a child psychopath😬 like to a tee… The animal torture is especially disturbing. Its normal to an extent for siblings to go thru phases like that. Maybe not to that extent but all that with your kids and animal torture. HUGE RED FLAGS. and I would NEVER trust a newborn baby around a child like that. I know plenty of ppl whos kids fight amd are rough ECT but nothing as bad as your describing good luck…
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I wouldn’t be with a man who doesn’t protect our children. Even if it is from another one of his children. That kid wouldn’t be allowed around my kids💁 if daddy didn’t like it he can leave too
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A kid like him is the cause of my friends current separation/divorce status. His bio parents need to get him help asap
I’m afraid you have a choice to make. Do you love this man enough to put up with the crap ? If it was me I’d hit the dusty trail. Just sayin !
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No way. You need to be able to discipline him or he’ll never respect you. Shame on your husband for not enforcing that. Your children’s safety is your number one priority and you need to keep them safe. He can’t close his eyes to something so scary. The torturing of animals is when it begins. Soon it will be humans. He’s already there. He needs therapy ASAP. If he can even be helped at this point. Some people are just horn with evil in them. Protect your babies!
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He needs to see specialist. Before he kills a animal or one of your kids.Your baby is coming . You don’t want him to kill your new born. He really needs help. You need protect your children. Your husband needs to take this seriously .He has some kind of condition.That all he wants to do is hurt and cause pain. This is not normal. I would hate for something to happen with your new born. Well you sleep he will go after your baby.
Get cameras. If hubby still doesn’t listen you need to pack your babies up and leave
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I would discipline the shit out of my husband first!!! Hell take ur kid and be gone if u can’t see what’s happening and come back when u both behave!!
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You must stop this and your husband even if it means divorce.
Dad needs to get his head out of the sand and realize this child needs help now. The schools will not put up with that behaviour when he starts and you have every right to worry about his actions. Your husband should respect what your say and do more to protect the other children in the house.
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Personally husbands feeling be damned. If snatch him up and tan that backside. And I my husband had an issue, him and his demon crotch goblin can leave, and not come back ever.
You need to be able to communicate with your husband and be on the same page and a team with discipline. Everyone should go to counseling, they do kids and family counseling. Because you and your husband have to approach this together or this will kill your marriage if it hasn’t already. Your other children’s safety, as well as this child’s mental health and well being are what come first. Obviously there is some trauma that happened and he is not internalizing it in a healthy way. There needs to be intervention now before a worse destructive cycle emerges and one of the other children gets seriously hurt.
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I would tell your husband that the issues need to be fixed or they can both leave. I understand that hes a 4yr old child and possibly acting out because pf psychological issues, but you CANNOT continie to endanger the other children because his fathwe isnt addressing his behavior. Your babies need to feel safe in THEIR home
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I have been in this same situation and we tried everything to include my step daughter, counseling, cheerleading, after school help. Nothing worked. We ended up raising her son and he has the exact behavioral issues. It is a vicious cycle. Good luck to you. I hope it works out better for than it did for us!
Can you talk to the mom? Sounds like he just needs discipline.
I’m sorry but I’d have a major issue if i was parenting in every other way to this child except discipline.
That’s bs.
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I would not put up with that. Either he controls his kid or I’d leave. No way I’d let my kids would live in fear like that.
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Youre husband and ypur stepson need help. Honestly, its probably going to go one of 2 ways:
-
He hurts or kills one of your children because dad is too stupid to listen and doesn’t think of you as a PARTNER, or
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You have to leave with your kids for their safety
I’m sorry, your spouse is an idiot.
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Get away it’s not fair or right for that guy to let you and your children be abused you won’t though you’ll be on here in a few months crying your babies dead and you don’t know why
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Something needs done about that,asap. How would he feel if it was the other way around. His son should absolutely not be acting like that towards your kids. And torturing cats? Sounds like there’s some deeper issues that need taken care of.
Not allowed to discipline him? That’s bullshit. Any adult that is in a position to supervise my child had best be saying something to her if she’s being a jerk.
I would just tell your husband he can only come when he will be there to supervise him personally. He needs more supervision then you can give and since you do not have the ability to correct or discipline him you cant do it anymore. His son definitely needs help and his dad is going to be sorry if he doesn’t do something now.
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Sounds like a sociopath in the making… He needs help now… And honestly I would not allow the child in my home… Hes a danger to every member of the household
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& a rough personality? What even is that? No, its not normal 4 year old behaviour to be mean & abusive for no reason. I’d be questioning on he’s being treated at his mom’s house.
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If it was me in your shoes… I would tell hubby. Get the child in to see someone because he is harming your children. If he doesn’t i would leave your babies are more imkportant then yo ur husband kids safety always comes first
Time to stop being nice and sweet and tell your hubby ungentle like that this behavior is going to stop now .he is seriously going to hurt your other children …if you can’t punish him than he has to stay in the kitchen away from the other kids the whole time he is there .if hubby don’t like it than hubby has to stay by his side the whole time he is there .there is a difference between being rough and being a mean bully that likes to hurt other people an animals
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My oldest was like this too. He has anxiety and sensory processing and was behind in emotional development. Behavioural therapy, proper and consistent discipline at home. Your husband needs to either get on board and get the ball rolling on therapy and working with you instead of against you or hit the road.
Has he always been this way? Even when his parents were together. Does he have any speech problems or cognitive issues? He may need occupational therapy or someone to talk too. He could be very angry about something and doesn’t know how to release that anger in a responsible manner. Your husband should really get some help for him and the rest of the family. Hopefully everything gets better.
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Definitely get cameras! He needs punished
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Your husband needs to understand this is seriously not okay at all, it starts young but escalates with age, I would explain that all of the kids needs the same rules and boundaries plus you are an adult in his home too you should be able to discipline if not pack your other Little’s and leave
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You are letting him abuse your children. You need to get them away from him before he seriously hurts one of them and they are taken away from you.
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Bust his ass I would be damn if he did that to my daughter and his father let it happen without disciplining him that’s what’s wrong with kids today. Also a psychological evaluation
I would not be gentle and respectful of your husband’s feelings, you are the only voice your kids have and you need to use it, tell your husband in no uncertain terms that he needs to discipline his son and get him help or you will leave to protect your children, this is unacceptable and horrible, tell your husband to grow up and be the parent not his son’s friend, I would not hang around to watch this child turn into a serial killer and risk me kids becoming his victims
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Get him into video games to keep him occupied
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If husband and bio mom are not responding to getting him help, I would find out who to report them to 
. Keep track of every single incident and leave if nothing changes.
Uhhhh this kid has issues… esp if he’s torturing animals… cause I wouldn’t allow my kids around that helll no esp with a new baby it’ll be helpless around him 
At this point it’s not about your relationship with your husband, it’s about the safety of your children. Make ultimatums. Talk to the mother. Threaten to call social services - your babies do not deserve to live in a world of fear. He is a bully with psychotic tendencies.
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That boy needs a good ole serving of some belt gravy.
You have a kid with issues on your hands. The problem here are his parents aren’t addressing it and you arent allowed to either. Personally if it were me, I’d take my pregnant behind and my kids and stay elsewhere
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that kid clearly has problems I wouldnt let him around my kids until they get him evaluated he sounds dangerous
He does need help. And just my opinion but you asked. You can leave. You are an adult with babies looking to you for protection. If your husband won’t protect them and take care of his other children behavior, I would leave. Period. The end. Sorry you have to keep your family safe, even if it’s safety from another family member, age 4 or 40, doesn’t matter.
Set your cell phone on Video and put where he won’t see it, get photos1 GOD Bless you.
Yeah thts a hard nope and I would say to ur husband that if he can’t love your children the same and protect them and love his son enough to teach him respect etc that u will step up and handle it urself regardless of how angry he gets. He can either help out and step up to being a good parent or get no say. My mom had to do the same thing with my step dad.