My mom used to work in group homes with kids like this. He sounds like he has some mental health issues for sure either organically or from abuse most likely. Its time to make sure you get your other kids out of harm’s way, he needs a psych hold to get him evaluated. Dont walk, run to get that done!
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If his dad and mom do not get him help then this is neglect. Obviously the child has some issues and it’s best deal with them at 4 rather than 14. This will only escalate.
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Hes looking for attention even if it is misplaced .
He also seem to know you are not " allowed "to discipline-speak to him about it . Imo that needs to stop !
Also imo this little boy needs help with his emotions and how to deal and use words rather than resort to physical violence, hes an anger little boy.
I’d be telling hubby that this needs to be dealt with with him and as a family.
Also not saying you do BUT if you hold any resentment toward your bonus child … he feels that , let it do and understand that it’s not the child … good luck momma
If your not allowed to discipline him maybe he should not be staying with you. Your husband needs to understand you can not put your children in danger because he doesn’t want to him his own son in line. Children crave discipline and attention. His father better start realizing his responsibility to his son. Might be worth it to also see a child physiologist
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Holy fuck that boy needs therapy
Theses are warning signs of a sociopath. This boy needs to be evaluated by a child psychologist and psychiatrist. For him to be exhibiting such violent behaviors against other people and animals this young is not normal. Tell your husband you don’t feel safe around him and are scared for your children as well. Then insist he get evaluated by a professional. Also I was have a conversation with the child’s mother.
You have a responsibility to your own children. And you have to keep them safe physically mentally and emotionally
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Hell no he would get his ass beat you people are raising a night mare who is going to be a bully killing animals and who knows what else .
Fuck that. I’d be gone.
I didn’t even read this post. But I would beat his ass and he wouldn’t come near my child until he could keep his hands to his self … BOTTOM LINE. NO ONE WILL BULLY AND CHILDREN NEAR ME, ESPECIALLY MINE. GET HIS ASS
Send him home. Your responsibility is your children. Make your husband man up.
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If he is also torturing the cat , and with a new baby coming please get him help
Sounds like it really could be an underlying psychological issue.
I agree this child needs help. Hurting animals always leads to worst things. I also would be afraid about the new baby. Being your home i don’t understand why you can’t express your opinions. Counseling may help or I would seriously consider other options to keep my children and baby safe. Good Luck and may God Bless
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So sorry sweetie. No one deserves this. But if it was me and I know it’s not, I’d be gone and the marriage would be over. Your kids are suffering. Enough said.
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I’d discipline him anyway if hes that bad! He needs it and he isnt getting it anywhere, NOBODY mistreats my baby!!
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These are all really bad signs like red flags he needs to be seen by a professional. I’d leave, asap especially if you aren’t getting any support from your husband. Take the kids and go stay with family until he gets his son help. Torturing animals is like huge red flags.
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he needs help and hopefully can get it! those are red flags for the making of a serial killer
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First. Let me say I am so sorry you are going through this.
Second, as a mother of 5. Never!!! Just never would I allow a child on a normal basis in my home that was going to hurt any of my children.
I understand the delicacy of the situation. But don’t think your husband gets the seriousness of it.
I’m sure admitting your child needs mental help
Is hard for some adults. Maybe thinking it’s his fault.
But this is more important than his feelings. And you are right, he is going to truly hurt your newborn.
I am by no means a doctor, but have studied phycology for years. (It’s interesting to me)
And children that hurt others children, secretly. As well as animals. Do need help.
Please leave when he is in your home, for the safety of your other children as well as your unborn child.
This will continue to get worse, aggression left untreated grows. It doesn’t go away on its own.
If you, as a parent, are allowing your children to be abused, regardless of who’s doing it, you are a bad parent! I know I’m gonna have the unpopular opinion and I don’t care. This is a child. He’s doing what he’s allowed. But if his parents won’t put him in his place, and you allow this to continue, you are responsible when you’re children get hurt. Leave until he’s made do differently.
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Consequences be damned.
So hibby is putting his first child ahead of his others. Hurting animals is often first symptom of a psychotic person. Tell him ok 1st child has a rough personality is he ok with the other kids being hurt. If he is run dont walk to the door and leave. If he days no then tell him to step up and do something.
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Oh no. I would be taking video of him lashing out and pictures if any makes are left behind. An telling your husband that yes that is his child but put your damn foot down that is beyond unacceptable. Also if you can talk to his mother? Idk this is just crazy that they are turning a blind eye to this
Two card time. Either husband makes the child go to therapy or you file for divorce. Give him two cards. One for a child therapist and one for an attorney. Speak to the attorney ahead of time. A kid like that is a danger and needs to be managed, not tolerated.
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Your husband needs to man up. That’s horrible that he will allow his other children to be tortured. Can you image what issues he is causing for them internally. Sad. Hopefully your husband will realize he is hurting his sons development more than he is helping by enabling him to do whatever he wants with no punishment.
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Yes an beat his ass for old an new sorry but I want have a child I can’t tap you better keep them home cause I’m gonna get that ass/o yes you need to come to my house I will show you.
My first impulse is: was he actually torturing the cat, or was he trying to pet the cat and it was attempting to get away? It sounds like he is screaming for attention, and four is still a baby. Hardly developed at all.
I am getting the impression this child is not being given any attention, is put beneath the other children in your home, and has not been given any idea about how to behave either with people or animals.
The husband is not acting right, the child needs positive feedback and attention when he is not acting out. He also needs therapy.
This sounds like he is being neglected and everyone else is favoured over him, (so his parents are letting him do whatever) which is reinforcing his negative actions because it is the only way that he is getting any attention at all.
He is four, he is very small and far from developed. He’s dealing with a broken home and shuffling from one home to the other - that’s traumatic for children that do not have any abnormalit,ies.
It sounds like mediation needs to happen between parents and a consistent form of discipline as well as therapy needs to be applied.
If it were me, I would leave with the stipulation that if this child is not correctly cared for, and I am forced to live in fear, I will simply live somewhere else. Not only is this behaviour a direct consequence of the situation he is in, and the parents not dealing with him correctly… but the husband sounds abusive, and that is no way to live, in a home with someone who reinforces instability and poor behaviour that can become much worse than it already has. Children do not come up with these ideas on their own. He has either seen abuse in person or via television/internet.
Something should be done, because the situation can be turned around at his age.
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Leave. I’m not saying to leave the relationship. But I am saying you need to be staying with your children somewhere that they are safe until you and your husband can agree on a plan that benefits the entire family.
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Your husband needs to see there is a problem before he seriously hurts your other children. I recommend a therapist
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Beat that boys ass!!!
My little sister attacked us in front of a therapist and was sent away to a facility and got a LOT better after that. She’s now 16 and doing fantastic
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Rough is playing and hurting by accident. He is intentionally hurting others and animals. He needs help.
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Your husband should sit the fuck down ! If he ain’t parenting then wtf is he doing ! Lock that kid in his bedroom the fuck he thinks he is acting like that secondly ur married wft u doing married to
Someone with a child that crazy . I’m sure you feel like u have tried everything . But nothing’s worked . Tel dad to sort his kid out or kick the kid out the fuck . If ur married then his child is yours so discipline ur child he obvs don’t know right from wrong so teach him . If he refuses then give the dad an ultimatum . How dare ur husband get mad at you ,sounds like his to lazy to parent PROPERLY. It won’t get easy so create some structure . I’d be pinching that little fucker right back (fuck you husband) 
Start rewarding your kids more than him. When they get hurt by him, give them a snack and not him or at the store buy your kids toys and not him(secretly buy him one but dont give it to him until hes good). Maybe once he sees how hes acting is getting him nothing, he’ll knock it off. Definitely say aloud how good your kid was for not hitting back or being brave and not crying even though it really did hurt. Kids watch and learn so try a different approach. He didnt say you couldn’t spoil your own kids, just not to punish his.
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If your not allowed to parent him I would refuse to be alone with him! That’s not fair to you or your kids!
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Stuff like that is learned behavior.
Any chance he’s being abused at the other home?
Wow, I would tell my husband if you don’t take care of this I will !!!
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sounds like that kid should come live with me for 6 months, he’d sing a different tune …
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The rule for kids in our family has always been, don’t hit unless u wanna be hit back harder. It works.
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Hes jealous. My own 4yr old acted this way with her sister (not quite that bad but bad enough)
You need to have time for just you him and his dad alone. He needs his time then family time. It will make a big difference
Even start by his dad just taking him somewhere alone and i bet youll notice a happier boy who feels more loved. He needs the one on ones from you two.
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Get some help
Sound like he might b looking 4 attention. Gets it when he is bad. Children need discipline from all ppl who r in charge of their care. Unless ur husband is there 2 do it. U should b allowed. All ppl involved in his care need to 2 b on board & nip this in the butt before it s too late. Yes professional help.is needed
If that child wants to be in our home around our kids he is going to behave or suffer their consequences! Idc what my husband says!! That boy need help
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1st get his behavior on film/tv security camera. Maybe his father doesn’t see it but he will, if not u can always take the film to a child psych for advice
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Your husband is the real problem here in my opinion. He needs to disopline his kid and you need to have some authority when it comes to them too. If you’re watching them, they need to listen and respect you. I know this all too well. My step son does this too my daughter (hes 12 and she’s 7) and over the last year i have put my foot down and have really put him in his place at times.
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Your husband needs a wake up call!!!
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Either make your husband parent his own child or he can find someone else to look after his child you have kids that are getting bullied your kids safety comes first hun
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Please have your husband look up the name Kevin Duck he had these same behaviors.God bless you. You and your children are in my prayers
Nooooo he needs to see someone. I have a friend who’s son did the same thing when he was 4 and he was diagnosed with schizophrenia and bipolar after he went after the family’s dog. He also started to say things 4 year olds never say.
Well ma’am you do know if you don’t take it upon yourself to discipline his child and something happens to one of your kids you will be at fault as well as your husband would be and your children will be taken away from you , so if I was you I would get me some video cameras and place them in these rooms whenever that little boy is around your children and record him and then take it to CPS and let them watch it so that way you have proof that you are not the one harming your children and that you are not aloud to discipline him because your husband says not to… so that way you don’t lose your children, but if it was me right after I reported it to CPS I would be leaving my husband until he can see that you are not lying about the situation and he get his son some help…
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Man… I’d fuck that kid up
I’d have to leave. Your husband isn’t a very good dad if he won’t bother taking care of his kid or protecting the other ones.
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He has to learn not to hit the people he loves
In my house my rules…any child hit would get one chance, we don’t do that…next time a cuff back…if your husband is allowing this behaviour I would definitely take matters into my on hands and on that child’s bottom…
I truely believe that if this doesn’t work get him into a psychologist fast
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Torturing animals and terrorizing your kids…he has serious issues. There’s no way I could stand and watch him hit my kids.
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I find it interesting that he doesn’t trey you like he treats his mom and dad. Why?? Because you don’t allow it!!! He needs some tough no-nonsense rules and repercussions
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Get a nanny cam and show your husband as well as the child that this is not acceptable behavior
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Sounds like you have a sociopath in the making
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hes only gonna get worse. dad must feel guilty cause he only has him so often so he doesn’t want to discipline him into having respect for others.
Give your husband an ultimatum, or video the children. If you have to call CPS to protect your children. But have proof if you do.
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I’d take my kid’s and leave!!
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There is something wrong with the stepson. He needs immediate intervention or he could grow up to harm people and animals. Your husband and the child would need to stay elsewhere until he gets a handle on that situation. I’d tell your husband flat out to get control or divorce is coming because you are not having anymore of it. You are not waiting until he seriously harms your kids or someone’s animal.
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Whoooaa. Abuse of animals coming from a child is definitely a red flag. He definitely needs mental help starting young.
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Your right tell your husband to get him to the dr befor some one or thing gets hurt
Your responsible for your childrens safety, even if the boy causing harm was your own, you are still responsible for the others safety… w that being said… you need to leave him… sorry… id be damned if someone elses child was beating.on mine daily…
These are YOUR children he’s hurting. You have every right to protect them. I’d be damned if my husband would tell me that I couldn’t discipline him.
Get your kids out of there. That is dangerous.
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Sounds like a psychopath…torturing animals is a characteristic of serial murderers. You need to get away ASAP!!
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I get a baby yard or gates to separate the kids ,give him a tv and such in a dif room or your kids , if your husband wont do something then say is cant be around your kids .
Future psychopath. He needs serious help before something awful happens. My kids welfare would come before all else.
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The boy needs help and so does your husband!
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I have 2 step children a girl and a boy and I have 3 boys of my own. My son has actually started seeing a counselor due to his anger issues and his dislike for his stepsister. I would suggest taking the stepson to a dr and trying counseling. He may be feeling some type of way due to the fact that he’s only there a few days at a time and tour other children are in a more stable environment on a daily basis.
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He needs help for sure and if he doesn’t get help as he gets older it will be worse. I would take my kids and leave
Just FYI, torturing animals and defenseless people smaller than him is a sign of a budding serial killer. Get him help!
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My nephew used to be like this he constantly attacks all the kids he’s the only boy out of 5 of them now I’m having a son but he’s thrown stuff at my daughters head at 2 weeks old
This child definitely needs counciling. The violence and threatening behavior and physical abuse of those more vulnerable than he is (smaller children and animals) are major red flags of a sociopath. Does he wet the bed? Does he ever show remorse for anything he does? Does he display great pleasure/joy in hurting others? Those are other markers of sociopathy. I understand that he is still little, but it’s worth your husband looking into counseling. He will never forgive himself if his son hurts the other children…and you will never forgive yourself for not defending your babies. Good luck, mama! I wish you and your babies peace and safety💜
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Find a family member or friend who has a child that’s bigger and older. What’s good for the goose is good for the gander.
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Sounds like psychopath. 
Protect yourself and your babies.
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You should be allowed to discipline. It doesnt matter if hes your step child. This kid seriously needs to see someone. I would not have my kids go through that. Obviously being respectful isnt working. Tell him either he gets the kid help or you’re taking your babies and leaving so that they are safe.
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I would bust his butt and keep him in timeout until he learned some manners. No way would I allow any child to act in such a way in my house. Your husband needs to get control of him before he gets to much older and if he wont correct it or work with you to I would say divorce is on the table!
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Personally if the kid is hurting mine he’s getting disciplined… don’t like it that’s too bad! Tell your husband to Stop showing favoritism and step the hell up! He’s got sociopathic tendencies if he’s harming animals! What does his mother say about his behavior?? Does she agree you can’t discipline him?
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That child will absolutely be a serial killer if he doesn’t get help. These are all early signs.
If I were you I would lay down the law and say he can’t come to your house or alternatively find somewhere for you and your kids to go every time he’s there.
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I’d whoop his butt. That’s just me tho.
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When he vomrd to visit pack some stuff and go stay with familey or friends or in a hotel. Tell your husbamd the boy need counseling znd he needs to leave the other kids alone. Yell your kids to fight back. They have to learn not to allow any one to bully them.
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I’d move myself and my kids out until dad decided to handle his son.
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That boy needs an ass whooping, rules and boundaries!! He also needs psychological help! And hubby man needs to step up, correct his child, and protect the other children! If he won’t, maybe a call or sit down with the boys mom. After that, I’d have to tell him until he gets a handle on his boy, the boy is not to come back to your home. If he’s not ok with that, I’d start thinking seriously about taking my kids and leaving! First and foremost, protect those babies!!
There’s a serious problem between you and your husbands relationship if he doesn’t allow to to protect your children and discipline his son. So he doesnt sound like he gives a fuck that his son is hurting his other kids? Or are they not his? Sounds like you need a new husband
I’d whoop his butt and tell your husband if he isn’t going to do it then you will!!! I would NOT stand for any of that!!
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Fuck that shit. That kid needs serious help you make sure you keep that baby safe I’ve known kids like this before. The boy I know and love I know I can’t trust him around animals or children. He broke a bunny and a half just trying to see if it’s head would touch his butt. Be very careful
And you also say something to your husband before one of your children gets hurt.
Beat the shit out of your husband in front of his kid, blaming the little one the whole time. It’s not HIS kid, but both of yours. Wreck his ass until he understands that it’s not acceptable from you nor his turd.
I see all these people saying leave. And it’s not that I don’t want to automatically agree… but if you have mutual children with your husband and he could get visitation you wouldn’t be able to protect your children if you aren’t there… not saying don’t, I’m saying the custody system isn’t up to par and tread carefully. Sounds like the kid needs help and everyone who has the power to do something is in denial. I’ve seen that happen with family members. Those children generally grow up to be low-functioning and violent people. It doesn’t magically get better.
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I would not be ok with this at all. I would say clearly if he is in the house he is beside dad at all times.
The child needs some help and support for sure. A lot going on for him but this ain’t normal child development. This is beginning of a psychopath.
Ok maybe a little harsh but there is no empathy and truly pleasure in how he hurts others. There needs to be professional intervention and you need to keep your babies safe!
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Sounds like a good ass whoopin is in order.Your kid will get away with what he is allowed to get away with .that simple !!!
Sounds like you’ve got a serial killer in the making
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Id leave. You must protect your children and your husband must take that seriously
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Was in a similar situation it almost cost us a divorce . I felt un safe i would sleep with my door locked . My advice get marriage counseling and talk how to work with blending family.
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You need a parent support worker or something call boys and girls club, mental health whayever resources you can find. Discipline does mean punishment
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Maybe he hasnt been shown what good behaviour looks like
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That child would not be in my house around the other kids. I dont care if it is my husband’s kid. If he cant deal with it he can leave, too.
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Far out. Sounds like the child is showing all the right traits to grow into a psychopath.
And if Dad allows this behaviour and doesn’t allow you to protect your own children from his son or defends his sons behaviour in any way… I WOULD BE RUNNING AND NOT LOOKING BACK!
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