He had to go. And never come back.
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I’m in the minority, but popping your kids a little isn’t a crime. Especially on the outer thigh? You overreacted it’s not like he beat your kid with a spatula.
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I have 3 sons. 6 year old twins & a 2 year old. 6 year olds will lie. My 2 year wouldn’t know how to yet
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I think you were a bit hasty there. I’d give him a second chance. Your son doesn’t want him to go and you may be losing a great guy. My 4 year old grandson and I are very close. His mother and I were with him in the kitchen, her sitting beside him and me across from him. He slightly fell of the chair and hurt himself. He burst into tears and told his mother that I knocked him off the chair. We were surprised because we were both there and I couldn’t even reach him and I also just brought him a muffin and chocolate milk as a treat. He kept sobbing and told me to get out of his house and insisting I pushed him. It was bizarre and a few minutes later he was back to normal.
Really have no idea why he said or thought that.
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So you’re telling me you KNOW your kid is annoying n your boyfriend of TWO YEARS can’t punish the child? Yeaaaa, no. Fuck that
Always take your child’s word unless proven otherwise. That’s how I parent.
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If the boyfriend was told he wouldn’t be a disciplinarian and he warned kiddo with a spank that is enough for me. After 2 years of someone being in my child’s life if they can’t discipline them then why are you with him? (Discipline as you do).
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and now you know your man will lie to your face to save his ass from you.
Just from my experience with two toddlers especially the one I’m dealing with now … they lie. My daughter will lie in my face while I’m sitting in the room with her & come to me & say someone hit her while I’m watching what’s goin on & know she didn’t get hit just because she wants me to tell the person to stop … she gets something from that. I’m not saying it didn’t happen but I’m not gonna be serious with a man who can’t discipline my kids. If you didn’t trust him to make good decisions when doing so then why be with the guy?
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If he isn’t allowed to discipline why are you resting in a different room. 
I understand u need to rest but then maybe someone u trust with your children should be watching them while u rest.
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He smacked your child and lied about doing so. You have no reason to feel bad.
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A smack on the leg shouldn’t warrant kicking your bf of two years out. Yes he should have admitted it if he actually did it but how is he not allowed to discipline the child that he’s helped care for for 2 years? If more parents would discipline their children instead of letting them run around like a bunch of hoodlums, there wouldn’t be so much violence going on with kids these days! JMO
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Uhh my 3 year old tells me all kinds of stuff I know are lies. Like once he slipped and fell and then told me dady (my bf) hit him… He wasn’t even home at the time… The point is kids tell lies even serious ones they may not know is serious. But if he looked surprised he probably didn’t do it. He probably got onto the kid and said he would smack him and the kid didn’t like getting in trouble so he came running to you to say he hit him since I’m sure you’ve gotten onto your kid for hitting before so he knows it’s not good or he threatened to hit him he could have been trying to tell you that cause my son loves to tattle
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So my concern isn’t whether your bf should or shouldn’t be allowed to discipline… My concern is that your child said one thing and your bf denied it. If he had owned up to it that would be a totally different situation because perhaps the child deserved to have his leg popped. Maybe the child didn’t deserve it? Who knows? But at the end of the day you’ve got to be able to trust your bf with your child and it’s hard to trust when you’re getting two different stories. Today it’s a leg pop next month it could be a bruise, who knows? I totally commend you for standing up for your child.
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If you don’t trust him (bf) to tell you the truth, why allow him around your child in the first place? Jeez common sense ain’t so damn common.
If your baby is being specific enough to point to where he was smacked, then it’s probably the truth. Especially since he was able to tell you and show you each time that you asked him about it. From my experience, when kids make things up the story tends to change a bit each time they are asked about it. But also, what are your boundaries for things like this? Because that matters as well. Are you against it completely no matter how hard or light the smack was? I think you need to, if you haven’t already, explain what you are and aren’t okay with as far as punishment goes. If he wasn’t communicated with about it before this happened, then maybe giving him a second chance is something you should consider. But no matter what you do, go with your gut instincts. If something feels wrong believe it. And above all else, listen to your babies. 
Your kids always come first, you’re a good mom!
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Several questions. What was alleged smack FOR? WOULD YOU have smacked him for it? Have there been incidents with BF losing temper before with child OR YOU or anyone else? Have police been called on him by you, previous girlfriends or family members? Have you ever discussed him disciplining your child?
If your child is naughty, then he deserves a smack. That’s one thing you’re wrong about. That’s why kids are becoming little assholes and growing into worse adults… No discipline
Sounds ridiculous to me. Shouldn’t have made him leave in front of the children if you wanted him gone, for whatever reason. Young children act out when angry, nobody’s fault, now he thinks what happened is his fault . Sounds like you also need to grow up a little also.
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Personally no one should ever put their hands on a child period. But in my opinion I personally think you over reacted and never gave the guy you have been with for two years the Benifit of doubt. You have to understand some kids (sorry most kids) say things to get attention especially in split families. Honestly judging by your sons reaction of him leaving says it all, he said that out of spite and he doesn’t understand now why your boyfriend has to leave. If you jump the gun every time your kid says something you are going to be one lost, and lonely person because most people will not put up with that and be accused of something they didn’t do. You asked he said no, either you trust him or you don’t. If he had a big red mark I could understand, if had been abusive before I’d understand but do me this guy seems like a good guy to stick around and help you raise your kids as his own. It’s takes a real man to put up with someone else’s kids. I think he deserves a real conversation to explain himself before being accused and gets kicked out of his place of living.
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Amen i agree now don’t let him back into your lives
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I’m sorry but that is why so many kids are out of control. Good luck raising him with no discipline.
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I think you overreacted a bit. Kids lie. If he had really done those things there would be other signs. Also if he’s begging for him not to go or leave it’s clear it never happened that way. My cousin who is 6 and I spend a lot of time together but is very attached to her mom and everytime she leaves when she comes back tells her mom how mean I am but in reality I’ve just told her no or ask for respect.
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I think you did the right thing, better to be safe then sorry.
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You did the right thing don’t ever think didn’t you have the right to protect your child,kids lie yes but you have to believe them when it comes to someone hitting them.
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Y’all trust the daycare and schools but you don’t want them hitting your kids!
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If you’ve been together for 2 years, then you should trust him to correct your children. If not, why are you in a relationship and where is it going? Little kids lie all the time.
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You wanted to protect your child, that was the right thing to do IF IT WAS TRUE. You can’t 100% say it was a lie or not especially coming from a toddler. They tend to make up stories. You’re definitely in a tough spot but ending a two year relationship over a tap on the leg? Number one, the boyfriend should be allowed to help discipline to an extent. Number two you say your kid can get on people’s nerves and is hyper so you’re condoning his actions. Kids will be kids, I know that, but sometimes they act too much out of line bc you allow it and don’t discipline when necessary.
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Listen to yr child you did the right thing
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I have heard plenty of kids lie. Mine lie all the time but usually when they’re telling specifics it’s the truth. But if i had been with someone two years I think they would get some disciplining so it’s not all on momma. A smack on the leg isn’t enough to make someone leave in my opinion. A talk and apology to the child and set your discipline boundaries and then saying maybe if you do it again and I find out then have problems but I don’t think i would have kicked him out over that
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My 2.5 year old told me the other day she was mad at her Gigi cause she hit her. That was a lie, (I was there the whole time) I was astonished because she’d never said something like that before. But when her Gigi left she told me “I no like Gigi, she hit me”…I called my mother In law and she heard my daughter say it again. It broke her heart. I don’t know why she said that, but I can assure you she was not hit.
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You did the right thing. I would also talk to your son and explained why he had to leave. Example: Mummy and (bf name), agreed that he wouldn’t smack you and if he did and it hurt you then he can’t stay here because he didn’t do the right thing’. Make it a conversation and also discuss that your son can always tell you if someone hurt him.
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Toddlers are famous for lying. My stepdaughter told her mom that I spank her real hard when I don’t even touch her lol she also says my daughter (her sister) hit her, n she’s not even over or when she is, they aren’t even in the same room when she says so. I get being protective, but toddlers most definitely lie lol
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Well if you have kids and you want a boyfriend but not to react to your kid when he being bad don’t bring them into both of your life just meet him other places because one sided relationship don’t bwork
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So my 3 year old lies about the dumbest shit all day. She tells me i scratched her everytime I change her diaper. You should have told your son that he’s leaving because he hit him and that’s not acceptable. If your son was lying he would have admitted it then. He may have lied because he didn’t get his way.
I think it doesn’t Matter if people think you should or shouldn’t discipline your child. I think what matters in the situation is you had an agreement that he was not allowed to discipline your child and he did not listen. If you would’ve have allowed him to stay he would know he could always just say your kids are lying to get out of something. Maybe in the future don’t let someone in your child’s life that you don’t trust to be alone with your kid. Either way it’s a very tough situation. 
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It was dead wrong getting your toddler involved in accusing him to his face and then ending it as a result of what he said.
Can you image the guilt you just put him through?
He’ll always blame what happened on coming to you when something bad happens!
I bet he wont do that again.
Keep your kids out of your adult issues.
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The fact that he admitted to threatening him with a smack is enough to show that he finds that method of discipline acceptable. Big nope for me…
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Ask him why he smacked you?
I would say he probably didn’t hit him hard , but he may have lied and that’s the issue however your reaction may have scared him a bit . I would have a vary real conversation with him and give him the grace to be honest then if you decide to move forward decide abt discipline and play parameters. If I watch other children I never spank even if the parents do , I do however need some way that’s meaningful to discipline a child in my care . If mom is around then tell mom and she can handle it but kids need boundaries with everyone living in the home .
Well I didn’t read if the child had a hand print it red mark on his leg, kids at that age would day that just because your boyfriend told him that’s what he would do. So if he had the mark you did the right thing, if not you need to talk further with child to make sure he understands the difference between saying it and physically doing the hitting.
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Were they playing?
Was your son actually in trouble?
Was the area red?
My daughter told me once that her brother hit her head… She meant the time they were racing her walker and it flipped over.
At his age, he doesnt know what’s what. He could be talking abt a pillow fight they had.
Now. He’s been “daddy” for 2 yrs but can’t discipline the child?
Stay single until he’s 18 bc while I agree some men are crazy, that man didn’t deserve what you did.
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You did the right thing, don’t take any chances!
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Did you see a mark on your child’s thigh? Sounds like a bit of overreaction to me.
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Sounds like you were looking for a excuse to make him leave after 2 years yes there’s more to the storie!!
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I guess you have to really understand that 1) toddlers lie. And 2) if you are that quick for the kick out, maybe you really don’t trust the person you’ve been with for 2 years. Did you check for a red mark, was your boyfriends reaction legit? Did you read his body language? Does your toddler have a history of lying to you? I understand taking your kids word, but you should’ve at least taken the time to talk to the person that was supposed to be you S/O.
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u did the right thing, dont look back. no one, especially someone who isnt related to ur child has the right to lay a hand on him. even worst that he wont admit it. dont listen to all these ppl saying its ok bcz its not! especially if both if u agreed he wouldnt discipline him. threatning is enough to raise a red flag bcz no child should live under that fear ever! he is not worth it! if u dont believe ur child u are putting this man before him and u are showing ur child he is not important. trust me, u mess up now u may regret it later when he’s dead
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I am so impressed with you. You give me back my faith in people.
You strengthened your child, and your relationship with him so much!
I hope that good karma comes back to you tenfold! WTG as a mom & a woman!
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Are people seriously condoning hitting a toddler?! Wtf is wrong with people 
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I would have turned mama bear too and done the same.
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Has your toddler lie before if not then he didn’t make it up I think your boyfriend was the lying if you let this slide he will do it again and tell your son it wasn’t his fault why he left
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You’ve been with this man two years. If you can’t trust his word then its better that u ended it. Kids do tell lies abt stuff but then again you’ve got to know your kid. My eight yr old bites her lip when shes lying and my seven yr old gets a shocked kinda look on her face when she’s lying. For now i know when they’re lying. If you think your son is lying you should sit him down and gently have a talk with him and try to coax the truth out of him while letting him know lying hurts ppl. And if u think your bf lied he’s better out the Door because it could be the beginning of a bad stage but plz note he may not be bio daddy but if he was daddy in every other way i don’t see why he cant discipline the child once its not abuse. Its wrong to want a man to love your child. Work and take care of your child. Babysit your child. But when it comes to discipline al of a sudden the child is just yours. After two yrs i think u would know if he is abusive and if he is that way then why keep him around for so long? Just saying
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If this is someone you were expecting to spend your life with I don’t understand how you can say that he is NEVER allowed to discipline your kids. You have to allow him and trust him to be able to discipline the children too or he’ll just end up being walked over. Saying that I commend you for what you did, it takes strength. I too have heard lots of stories about children lying but is that in your son’s character? It doesn’t sound like your son expected this to happen as a result of telling you what ‘happened’, he might be wary to do so in the future. I personally would have given your partner the benefit of the doubt as like I said if he was to be your life partner you need to let him discipline the children too but I guess only time will tell if you find out the truth either way x
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I would get him back to the house and talk to him and your child. I think you are over reacting. I may get slammed for this but you dont know the full story and just reacting out of anger and also making him go in front of the child is messed up
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I wouldn’t be concerned about the slap on the leg - I would be concerned that he denied it.
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Hes just her boyfriend! Boyfriends dont discipline until you know they are permanent in your kids life.
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Always listen to your childand belive them yes your kid will be sad but that’s okay and abuse is not
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Let’s see your boyfriend may or may not have popped your child on the thigh. He didn’t come screaming and crying so it was probably a little tap. He may have even been playing. You’ve been with this man 2 years so your son was probably a baby when you got together. Now as he started leaving this same toddler that you’ve accused him of abusing ran after him. Then when he left your toddler started crying. It appears that your kid REALLY loves this man and you putting him out hurt your child more than a slap on the thigh. In my opinion, “Matt” should probably move on and you putting him out was the best thing for HIM. You really need to be ALONE raising your kid. Just know this Matt being gone will probably traumatize your kid more than a tap on the thigh.
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Your kid is feeling sorry for telling on him don’t let him feel like that . He did nothing wrong In telling on him . You are doing the right thing . Tel your baby you will always have he’s back
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If you can’t handle someone disciplining your toddler that you’re obviously in a relationship with, it might be wise to stay single until your kids are raised.
If your gutt is saying don’t trust something then that is one thing, but if your kid was being a toddler he prob did something that maybe merited a swat,
not sure if the whole story is out there but seems weird you kicked him out for that, unless there’s been other concerning incidences that you haven’t stated. If you have children discipline them, and if you are expecting someone else to look after them, some discipline might be needed. Your kid is going to learn real fast how to control things, let me state to be clear if you have any indicators someone could become abusive, has been or seems edgy or impatient maybe don’t leave them in charge and definitely no boyfriend status. Just my opinion
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Rhea Christiansen no if you’d read you can see they are disagreeing without any marks or actual proof, no one is stating that that toddler lied just stating that yes toddlers and children can get confused and say something different than what they mean or that at times they can lie, she never knew whether he did it or not so maybe he wasn’t "denying " it maybe he truly didn’t do it!
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You did the right thing! If that happened to me, i will also kick him out of my house and my life… My child comes first… Period!
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You can’t ask someone to be in a relationship with you and they don’t get to parent the child. I’m a step parent and I would be furious if had absolutely no say at my house cause he isn’t mine. Your extremely selfish, and any relationship you have from here on out will suffer because you have that opinion. He’s not there to be a parent when it’s convenient for you.
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Though my boyfriend does not hit my children I dont either he does discipline them actually any adult watching my children has that right to put them in time out or take an item away it’s about teaching the child to respect authority. So yes dont allow hitting but saying that your boyfriend cannot do any of the disciplining will just have your child walking all over him
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Lol annnnnd this is why we have entitled little shits now a days. You can be my man but if my child is being obnoxiously annoying and misbehaving just deal with is hahaha, any man would be smart to leave in that situation.
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your un disciplined obnoxious kid will ruin any relationship …no one wants a brat
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You did the right thing because you’ll never know the truth if you don’t trust the boyfriend.
Secondly, don’t ever call your child in to be confrontational to someone he said smacked him then allow him to be in the room and aware of the boyfriend being kicked out.
Bean adult and do adult things without your toddler playing a role in it.
Any adult that I trust to leave my child with is allowed to discipline said child. Discuss what sort of discipline is acceptable but anyone watching said child is the authority figure at the time.
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So the bf is the possible liar but it’s just not possible the kid lied? Wow. She said herself when she asked the kid in front of bf, the bf looked surprised. So, if the bf lied, why would he looked so surprised the kid would say such a thing? Why admit to saying he would smack him and not admit to actually doing it? The fact the bf left without incident says he cares and respects you enough not to argue with you. If he was guilty, he would have been hella defensive, IMO.
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After 2 years you don’t trust him? I personally would have asked my kid wtf they did wrong… if my man popped my kid on the bum or leg they clearly deserved it… and the fact that you clearly don’t love your boyfriend or trust him enough to even care about the truth and whole story makes the break up for the best
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Most kids need a little smack on the butt every now and then when they are not minding. If I leave someone to watch my children I trust them to discipline them lightly to make them mind. Let’s face it children will try you. Don’t leave your children with someone you don’t trust. If you trust them then don’t get mad when they need to discipline. 
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My almost 4 year old says she gets smacked/kicked/hit all the time by the person she’s upset with; a dog, a cat, someone that is in a different town, her sisters, her brother, myself, her step mother, her fathers, her friends at school, etc.
Normally I would be concerned, except I watch her get upset and come running screaming about being hit even though I literally watched it not happen 
If there isn’t a red mark, I wouldnt worry too mucu
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I wouldn’t be concerned at all if he is disciplining him. HOWEVER. Why lie about it? If you’ve been living with someone for two years and he takes care of your child in other ways he should be able to discipline your child as he sees fit (not saying he can beat and degrade your child). There must be more to this story. I’ve been with my husband for 15 years, he’s only had to spank my daughter one time in the 15 years, but I want her to know she has to respect him PERIOD. We also have a child together and he has a son from a previous marriage. All of our kids get treated equally.
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You expect to spend your life with someone that can’t discipline your child? And you’ve been with him 2 years but you can’t trust his word at all? You can’t want him to help out with your child but not want him to discipline him either. If he’s gonna be a part of his life and help raise him
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Believe your child. A 2 year old hasn’t figured out lying yet. You did the right thing.
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Unpopular opinion you dont need to be dating him if you aren’t even going to let him discipline him at all. You are 2 years in I can see if he is someone new but that’s not fair to him if you are leaving him to watch and care for him y’all are suppose to be family. A smack on the leg if he deserved it I dont see it as a big deal now if it was in the face or actual abuse then yes I’d see your point
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Stay single until they are out of your house if you are not going to let them discipline your child. I just hope at least you discipline them.
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Sorry I agree with you breaking up with him was the best . I have three children who are grown now but I always gave them the benefit of doubt. Always believe your children
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Dicipline does not equate to physical assualt. Period. Weird that people are putting the two synonymously
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If you are comparing him to crazies on the news than that’s a bad sign. After 2 yrs you should be pretty damn sure he isn’t going to murder one of you. Good call move on if that thought crossed your mind.
A two year old won’t lie!!! And I wouldn’t let know man lay a finger on my children especially so young good on you girl u done the right thing xx
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Honestly, no judgment it’s your kids and your relationship so everything is up to you but if there will ever be a time your bf watches your son without you then he should have the right to discipline him. Maybe not smack him but if you’re in bed sick and he has to watch your son he needs to be allowed to tell him no or put him in time out. If not then you need to be there at all times to control your kid
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Do not get in a relationship of you cannot allow him to discipline the kids. That’s absolutely bullshit. Spanking can be effective when used properly. Stay single.
And to everyone telling you that because you choose to have an adult relationship, means that person can lay hands on your child… 
not a chance in hell! They arent married & that is her child to protect. Discipline is done as a couple, with him knowing his place & boundaries. It’s pretty obvious she took it to this extent of kicking his ass out because she doesn’t put her hands on her kids or he had not been given permission to do so. Hes lucky it was her just kicking him out because any man that put his hands on my kids would be currently buried in my backyard.
I don’t think you should have broke up with him so quickly but asking him to leave for a few days while you sort things out with your child could have been a way to go. Probably for the best because he won’t trust your child for a while after that incident.
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You did the right thing. I’ve been married to my husband for 5 years and he has never and will never lay a hand on my children ( his step children). I believe you shouldn’t second guess yourself.
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Your child isn’t going to lie. However, as a parent my significant other has my support to discipline my oldest son as long as its not abuse
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If you allow an adult around your children and have trusted them enough to live them in with the cold you need to trust them to discipline the child. You two need to show a united front or that kid will take advantage of you and you’ll end up alone forever. If he’s never showed aggressive behavior toward you or your child in the past then you need to call and apologize immediately. Lay out the boundaries on how you want the child to be disciplined and then once that’s crossed or you gets signs that may be crossed THEN you react the way you did.
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First he showed you his leg if he smacked him it would have been red. If you’re child did lie he would be smart man not to take you back because toddlers do lie
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If YOU trust your boyfriend enough to let him move in and live in your childrens home you should be comfortable with bf punishing your children when called for but if you think he smacked kid n he’s lying about it and your asking strangers online for input maybe you should be re evaluating your situation
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I don’t get how you expect to have a long lasting relationship or even a marriage if you tell your significant other that they can’t discipline your child. So they can help raise your kid but can’t discipline when it’s needed ? Sounds soo one sided and your kid will know he can get away with anything because the other person can’t discipline them. It’s probably better that he’s gone now.
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I dare someone (even his father) to smack my child! U did the right thing
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Some people start out simply smacking a child and it becomes
progressive especially if they are sneaky about it. I think you did right, better to error on the side of safety for your child. Let your child know it is not his fault and that your boyfriend left because he did something you didn’t like. Keep it simple. Mothers must always oay attention to what their children say.
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If a child is being abused in any form it’s best to believe them over the adult. He/she will lie because the child is too small… plus if he legit threatened the child then it’s not worth it… in my opinion you did what was best
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Ignore the haters. But this isn’t black and white. Yes children are at a SIGNIFICANT higher risk of abuse with mothers that live with non biological male partners. But a toddlers language isn’t very developed and understanding of “smack” can wildly vary. If it was agreed upon he wouldn’t discipline your child it would’ve been a good time to have a family meeting about it and discuss in front of your child the child appropriate parts and then in private with your partner. Blowing up and kicking him out in front of your child is hot headed and horrible to put on his shoulders. It’s not fair to anyone involved. What he did was wrong but this was an opportunity to grow not be a child yourself and throw a tantrum. You’re in this together raising a child especially a man with none of his own trying to figure it out. Reinforcing your expectations would’ve been the right call.
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Actually you should have asked the child why the boyfriend had to hit him. Depending on what he says talk to him about his behavior. Nothing wrong with questioning the boyfriend he probably lied because he knew you would freak which is no excuse. He obviously didn’t hurt your son because he wasn’t crying. You should have laid down in the same room.
Yall need to learn to discipline without hitting
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I’m not for smacking a child, but to say this man who has been on your child’s life isn’t allowed to discipline or correct your son is wrong. He deserves to be a father figure to your child. Children need discipline and no not smacking but being told no and how to behave.
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I think you did the right thing momma, you first a toddler isnt just going to make stuff up like that. All these people who say you dont trust your boyfriend after 2 years are the ones who end up having boyfriends hurt their kids and they bat their eyes and" it could never happen to them"
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It’s crazy how people are saying she’s wrong for kicking him out, and that the kid probably deserved it.
I’m glad you believed your child. You’re being a good mother. Please stick with your decision. No boyfriend has the right to physically discipline YOUR child. Plus, he’s a toddler, seriously, people who hit their toddlers should be ashamed of themselves. And the mothers who think it’s okay for their little boyfriends to hit their children, you are an embarrassment.
This is why you hear these horrible stories of children being beat to death, because of love struck, blinded women like yourselves. Stupid asses.