Sounds like this baby was meant to be and could
Be a blessing to someone who would LOVE that child. You would be a hero to a wonderful family who would LOVE and
cherish that child.
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Its your baby. Does his dna make a difference?
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It is completely up to you. No one else can make the decision. Honestly, I’m not sure I would want to grow up knowing that my mom hooked up with another guy, inbetween a break up and that random person is my dad. It’s about how you want to raise your daughter and if you are prepared to have that conversation at some point in the future with her.
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I have adopted siblings. It’s wonderful. But a sperm donar does NOT mean father. You can make it a wonderful thing!!! Only u can make that decision. Adoption is brave and selfless!!! Write everything down. Pros cons. Also think how she will feel when she’s older. How you will feel when not emotionally strung out. I wish u clarity
I can’t imagine that if you keep her you will EVER look at her and think “I wish I hadn’t kept you”. But if you give her up it’s likely you’ll regret it.
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If he loves u, he will love u baby, but a father is not bout who get u pregnany, its who s there to take care and provide for that child. I know cause i was marryed to man that had two kids, i love them as my own cause i loved my huband, but u could always bring that baby to me,
I honestly don’t know what to tell you. I mean it might have been a mistake but you get this beautiful baby girl from it. But then again if you feel like that then it’s up to you. Y’all might have been a mistake but no baby is.
So you ex wants to be in your life and be with you even though your pregnant with another mans daughter whom of which you have always wanted a girl? At this point, you did what you could and still the pregnancy continued. That baby is meant to be in your life. Best wishes to you
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A baby is a blessing from God no matter how they were conceived. Only you can make that decision. Can you live with your decision is the question you need to ask yourself. I will pray you make the right choice for you and your family. Good luck.
What a tough thing to decide. You have to decide which is better for you. Will you regret giving her up or request keeping her? Don’t keep her if you cannot love her unconditionally. Children know if they are wanted. I don’t envy you. Perhaps you need to talk to a counselor.
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I think its buck up time. Its not about you
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If you dont feel like you’d honestly love the baby as much as any other baby you have then give her a chance to be loved by another family. Point blank. You know deep down on what you want to do.
My ex bf and I have a daughter together. The relationship was in every way shape and form abusive controlling and toxic. We were together almost a year before it became that way. Even after I got pregnant the violence never stopped. I didn’t think about giving her up for adoption. She is part of me and who I am. Her dad and I are were very much a mistake, or rather, a lesson learned, but she didn’t pick that man…I did. She just turned 3 last month and has no idea who her dad is. He’s in jail right now for a&b domestic. Anyways, after getting a PO and such I talked to counselors and advocates abuse counselors and such to make a plan for my daughter. How I was going to raise her by myself and such. You have a partner who love you loves those kids and is willing to step up, why take that from him? Let him be the man he desires and wishes to be. Not many willing to do that anymore. He is involved, the kids are involved, have a family meeting and see what happens.
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Most posters here act as if adoption is wrong. I’m sorry, but if you feel as if you can’t do this, regardless of why, let another family love that baby! You are not wrong…we are for being judgemental. Our 4 year old son is adopted, but my 20 year old son isn’t. There is nothing more precious to me than a birth mother. You need to discuss with your significant other and the birth father since he knows…if you decide on adoption. Adoption isn’t loving someone less, it’s being strong enough to say “God, help me. I can’t do this. Let her know love and goodness.” There are many of us who can’t birth babies safely or at all. You are not alone, love!
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You are considering the baby a " mistake" … already, you will break your daughters heart, please don’t be so cruel, she didn’t ask to be here, sperm does not make a father, I’m surprised in this day and age that you have a " surprise" in you, I’ll take her and love her every second of every day, my 3 children were kidnappers and my beautiful son was savagely murdered, stabbed, beaten, kicked,
I’ll take her please, my heart is broken for your unappreciated gift,…no shame, the father was a mistake, not the baby…
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I believe everything happens for a reason. Perhaps there is no way you would have had a girl with your current BF so God or karma gave you this opportunity.
So dont let the child go through life thinking you didnt want her or him because their father was a mistake !!! NO MAM you raise that baby and you teach that child that no matter what life throws at you your children are first …You teach her or him that a single parent can do what both parents can do …You love YOUR BABY Unconditionally…The rest is just a mistake WE ALL MAKE THEM IN one form or another …Think about how the child would feel in the long run when they found out the reason there momma gave them up was because the father wasnt gonna be in the their life so momma gave up on them too …I’d kill to have another child .Just cost to much in lawyer fees and adoption…I’m not lucky enought for someone to just hand me a baby girl and say I’m turning all my rights over to me .Just to save me thousands …Dont ditch what you have been blessed with .You say 2 plan bs and baby is still with you HONEY it was MENT to be regardless who the daddy is …Be blessed …We just buried a baby 8 months in womb .He died October 4 in womb …He was wanted by both parents .His little heart just stopped …She delivered a 7lb 3 oz deceased baby boy .That has just about killed her .Please think what’s best at the moment may not be in the long run …May god be by you through this
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Only you can make this decision…it’s not the child fault…yes you made a mistake… but hey you are getting a beautiful gift that you have created within yourself after the little one is born he/ she will grow into a super person if you love them … never mind what others think and if your partner truly loves you he will accept the little one as his also… and the ex will only appear if he wants to upset you so make sure you get full custody of baby before it’s born …
I honestly don’t even know what to put. I don’t want you to do something your going to regret but then again I don’t want this little girl to grow up with your conflicted feelings😔
Sis, you do you! You might be dead set one way and then the moment you see her change your mind. Baby girls are precious. But if you feel like you can’t love her like you do you boys then let another family love her. I would love to have another daughter. And one through adoption would make her that much more special. There is lots of loving family out there so you just do what you feel in your heart is right.
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No baby is a mistake even if it was made from a diff person… whe u made her …u love the other person…and she was given to you bcoz she has a purpose in your life let that be alone enough for you to keep, love and protect her …plus ur SO sounds like an amazing guy…willing to step up and be a dad to this angel … pls keep her … my prayers will be with you and this exciting journey ahead! 
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Give your partner a chance he loves you and your baby so by the sounds of it he is her daddy.
You will never forgive yourself, keep the baby and enjoy her.
I find it crazy that you feel you cant love her because of your mistakes… so say you guys were together for 8 years and she was 2 yrs old when you split would u stop loving her because something didnt work out? She is still YOUR daughter she still has you in her. As for your current man if he is willing to step up to the plate and raise her and love her as his own why cant you?
That’s a decision that you cant undo and she will grow up wondering why she wasnt good enough for you, dont put that on her. She didnt ask to be here either step up and be a loving mom to her.
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Just want to start off with it’s your choice no matter what…but I feel like that baby is here for a reason. Failed BC and two plan b’s and you still became pregnant. Your boyfriend is willing to take over and care for her like his own. You’ve always wanted a girl and now she’s coming. She’s meant to be yours mama 
you’re still providing love and warmth and from what it sounds like a good father to her. Family isn’t always blood. It’s easy to doubt and blame yourself and that just means you want what’s best for your children, that means you’re a good mama. It will be tough to explain one day that your boyfriend isn’t her real father but that’s so far in the future that you don’t know how that’s going to turn out. That’s a road to worry about when it comes time to travel it, not now though. You’re being given support by your boyfriend and that makes a huge difference. She’s yours my dear, she’s being giving to you for a reason no matter who the real dad is. I hope things turn out well for you no matter your decision. You’re a good mama by deciding what’s best for her already, remember that for yourself
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I went through feelings like this with ny oldest i was abused by his dad and was worried that i couldnt love him because of that it all changed the day he was born. Dont make you disscsion yet just carry on and wait and see what happens if you still think after you baby is born then yes find her a good family
Really? You’d do that to her because she has another father? Your longterm bf is willing to step up and care for that child as his own, your other children obviously know or will know your having their sibling and you will tear that away from them because of this? Don’t let this little girl go somewhere where anything can happen to her. Don’t make her feel like a mistake or unloved because if she ever finds out you didn’t want her simply for YOUR mistake it will cause a lot of problems for her. Step up like your BF and take care of this child and be her mother.
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A living being is NEVER a mistake.
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Ur a mistake and toxic by the sounds no offence u opend ur legs if u couldnt handle ut then maybe u shoukd yave kept em shut it takes 2 to tango he wants u but u dint want him or this kid go get urself sum help in the right place instead if playing this game of attention
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First of all you need to stop saying she was a mistake. She is a precious beautiful God gift bestowed upon you. Whatever your decision, make sure you do it out of love for her. She will be that one little girl that will love you unconditionally when all the men in your life is gone. Your job is to love and protect her with your life and put her needs before yours. If you can’t do that for her, then you know what the answer is.
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She’s half you. Not her fault who the other half ended up being.
I dont see it so much as a mistake, you broke up with your long term boyfriend and moved on and that’s ok. If hes willing to take on the father role of her and knows the background of it all then I think this little girl will be an extremely loved part of your family
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I had your EXACT situation. My daughter just had her 10th birthday and nobody cared about a bloodline!! Family is who raised you. My husband is her dad no matter what.
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Why is it that the worst moms are the most fertile? Smh
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Tough situation. But maybe don’t dwell on who her father is/ or isn’t. But maybe focus on you, being her mother. Sounds like your partner of many years shared, is willing to accept the situation. Maybe embrace your daughter 
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That’s your mistake not that baby,s so treat her with love 
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Don’t let anyone pressure/guilt you into keeping the baby. If you know that you can’t give her all of you as you do your others then find a loving couple to give her to. Especially a couple that are unable to have any. You will be loved forever by that couple because you gave them someone that they couldn’t have themselves. Yes you will forgive yourself because you know she will be loved completely like she should be. Weigh your options. You know where your boyfriend stands, he’s leaving the decision to you because he knows he is not the biological father but he is willing to be the Dad she needs. I don’t know you but I am proud of you for not choosing the alternative of ending her life. You’ve made one smart choice in your situation so it’s up to you to make the next also.
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You are the mistake and a toxic person yes give that baby up for adoption as a matter of fact give all your kids up as you are one shitty sad excuse for a parent
I completely understand your feelings. That’s a really tough spot to be in. Follow your heart and make the decision you can live with.
This is still a baby, your baby, you will love it the same as your other two, this baby didn’t ask to be born, this is your responsibility. Also family is not always about blood. My son’s father and I split, and I started dating someone else he was in my son’s life for 5-6 yrs, when him and I split, him and his family are still very much involved in my son’s life even though there is no biology there. They love him as if it was their own. If the biological father doesn’t want any part at least you have someone who loves you that wants to be a dad to this little girl. Remember she is the innocent one in this. It’s not her fault so dont punish her for it.
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I say she’s your daughter and if your partner is willing to raise her as his own then you should go for it.
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Don’t give her up for adoption if you are able to care for her because who knows if someone else will. It’s ok. It will get better after you have her. Good for him for wanting to try again and be a father figure. Wish you the best.
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Been there,done that…Exactly the same story…Said baby is now 11 years old and loved beyond measure by all families…
He sees his biological dad every 2nd weekend and has an amazing relationship with his other dad (my husband).
Was it always easy? No.
Is it worth it? Yes!
I could not imagine not having him!
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This is your baby. Why would you want to put her up or adoption just because of a man?
They are both willing to step up. But you don’t want to put it on his shoulders?
You should have a mindset that says if any man can’t love you and everything that comes with you. Then they aren’t worth your effort. But he seems to be willing. So move forward . Best of luck
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I will take your baby.
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Your making your decision on wether to keep your child or not based on what is convenient for the men that are in your life… you made a decision to sleep with someone and after birth control and 2 failed plan b’s don’t you think she might be what you need in your life…the man you have children with is willing to step up now that doesn’t mean it won’t come with challenges but you both have to be completely honest if you guys are ready for this if your relationship is ready for this huge change. And if not then give your daughter the chance to grow up in a home where she will be 100% loved no questions no limitations.
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whether or not you are “with” or “love” a man your child is your child and to the day you die your hear will always love and grieve that child. Be very careful when you choose ANY man over your child.
Maybe the “father” was a mistake, but the baby wasn’t. I believe the only reason that man came into your life was to have that baby.
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It’s a decision only you can make 
spend some time thinking of life with or without the baby.
I know it’s a tough decision. But I can tell you one thing that if you choose to keep the baby you’ll never regret it.
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Sounds like this little one has a great father waiting for her. Forget about the sperm donor.
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I would have terminated pregnancy
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Regardless of the father situation, you are that baby’s mother. If you can live with thinking about her everyday for the rest of your life without having her in your life, more power to you but as a fellow mom my babies are what make my life worth living. Please remember that any man can leave at any time, but your kids are for life. Again, good luck and stay strong
Adoption: if a baby is not a blessing for you right now, let them be a blessing to someone else. Adoption is another word for love.
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If you can provide her a safe, healthy home and life, have that baby girl and love her. If not, there are thousands of families that will. If you decide to give her up, message me. I will drop everything, come get her, take care of her and love her forever with no questions asked. Whether or not you keep a baby, should be based on what you are capable of providing for it, not a relationship or guilt. Praise God you chose life rather than abortion, God has a plan for the baby. It’s up to you to decide whether you want to be part of that plan or not. But please, don’t be half way in. Kids, more now than ever, need full time love and Godly examples of love and life.
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Poor child. Maybe the man was a mistake but not the baby. Hell I’ll take the baby.
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I know people who would raise that baby in a heart beat. If you decide to give up baby, let me know, I would introduce you. So many people would love that baby.
Sounds like you’re punishing your daughter for allowing yourself to get pregnant. From what you say you tried not to get pregnant and buy any time that you have sex with anybody you run the risk of getting pregnant and if this other person was so toxic to you I don’t understand why you were even being intimate with said person to begin with. You can’t look at your daughter as a mistake a baby is never a mistake your mistake would be giving her up for adoption because you think she is a mistake. If you think of that you can’t love your daughter the way she deserves to be loved and cared for her because of who her father is then the motherly thing that you could do is give her up for adoption. Even if you give her up for adoption she will never be too far from your mind or your heart if you love her so awesome Italy you need to decide if you are okay with that and if you’re strong enough to deal with that. Don’t count on the bio dad being around if he’s not around during your pregnancy or trying to be.
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Same exact story except I was split from my husband of 9 years, got pregnant by a messed up relationship and had a son. The ex wanted an abortion, I refused, my husband and I got back together and took responsibility of my son. Now we have 3 beautiful boys and are completely happy
I personally wouldn’t give up the child regardless of how you feel about the bio dad. If your having these thoughts about the baby it seems like you’ll end up resenting and mistreating her as she gets older, do your research and find a family that will appreciate and love her regardless of her genetics.
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My daughter is the only good thing to come from my horrible 4 year long marriage to an extremely abusive meth head. I love her more than life itself and i never think about him when I look at her even though she has the same eyes and hair and certain features. She is her own person. I still have to deal with him because we have a child together but I’d rather fight him every day to keep her than to give her up. I promise you wont be thinking about that sorry excuse of a sperm donor when you rock her to sleep or watch her take her first steps or see her graduate from high school.
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Yes you probably should give the baby up. She doesn’t deserve to be a “mistake”. If this is YOUR thought process then give her up so she will be given the love she deserves because you’re not going to give it to her.
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A child is a child. Innocent and sweet. Don’t let your failures as a woman decide the fate of that child
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If your boyfriend wants to step in let him. It takes more than a sperm to be a father
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Your baby is a blessing not a mistake
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So give your child up over your mistake? No, pull your big girl panties up and take care of what you created.
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Because of a botched relationship you are thinking of adopting the baby out?? Baby is part you too. I would keep my daughter.
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Keep your head up an raise that babygirl with ur man of 6 years! Maybe you both needed that for ur relationship. No baby is a mistake
Better to give her up to adoption rather than abort. I respect your decision… Though I have my own personal opinion I’m not here to bash you either. Who am I to judge? Just really anaylze everything and do whats best for your little girl. And remember, if you tried that hard to prevent and nothing hapened, its because God has the last word. He has a purpise for your baby girl. God bless you!
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If he is willing to raise that baby you have nothing to worry about! Baby didn’t ask to be born don’t let her grow up in foster care feeling unloved
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But if you feel like you want to please everyone around you have the baby and give her up to adoption even hospitals and fire stations will take ur baby with no questions asked! Don’t hurt the baby let someone else have a blessing
you aren’t just gonna go on with life either way tho it super selfish to not take responsibility for your child if you give her up you always want her and not let go if dont you have deal with relationship sistuation that will not be easy in the beginning but at end of day either way this gone haunt you unless your the mother you want to be no man fears can you live with your choices??? when you have that baby your heart will only know she is yours remember that before you make any permanent decisions best to luck adoptions are a blessing that baby be a gift to one lucky family but really think fact you even wrote this means you know you cant deal with giving her up you wanting support and advice but truth is only you can make that choice and only you has to love with it
Girl no bashing 
have u met these ppl. God Bless and u will figure it out. Pray about it. U r truly blessed tho. Some ppl can’t have children. Be positive. I couldn’t imagine how you are truly feeling. Much
A “father” is the person that loves, supports and its there for your childs life/milestone… anyone can be a sperm donor 
… you mentioned that you always wanted a daughter and youve been blessed with one, a baby is a victim of the parents choices and shouldnt be punished for them… forget who the sperm donor is/was and move fw in life, see it as a learned lesson and a blessing in disguise… good luck 
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Sooo… women can’t have abortions because they should choose adoption… but also women aren’t allowed to give their babies up for adoption? Pick a side:roll_eyes:
make whatever decision is best for YOU
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No one should bash you for doing the right thing for your children…do you know how many people want kids and can’t have them??? If you keep your baby great!!! If you don’t, ok!!! There’s so many people with so much love to give!!! Try to look at your life in 5 years…do you see the baby in it???
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Nobody can make this decision for you… listen to your heart, girl.
You have to think of the long run the future…your baby didn’t get a choice in this matter to her you are her Mommy her safe haven her Nurturer her saving Grace take one day at a time it shouldn’t matter who the Father is this baby is a Miracle…I highly doubt you will ever look at her and feel regret…I believe when she’s born you are going to experience a Love like you’ve never known a bond that will never be broken. Good Luck to you
The child is blessing. Everything happens for a reason and despite birth control you got pregnant. I believe there is a reason for that. U have a chance to have your daughter and your partner is willing to raise your child. I would embrace this happy accident and add a baby girl to your family xxx
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I feel that if you have her up you would regret it later… as long as the man that you’re currently with understands the whole situation and STILL wants to be there, should give you your answer. Keep the baby.
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There are people out their who can’t have babies who would love to have babies (I’m one of those people) you do what’s best for you! Don’t let anyone say anything negative about it!
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Every baby is a blessing. Keep her. You and her are worth it
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In my opinion your bf of 6 years is the real MVP for standing up and wanting to be a daddy to her let him THOUSANDS of men and women do it every day
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I’m so glad I decided to keep my baby, I was in a similar situation
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No matter who the dad is that’s your baby that didn’t ask for any of this
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Chose what ever feels right for you. My husband and I desperately want another baby but are unable to have one. We can never adopt from an agency because it cost way to much to do that. , that being said , If you do give the baby up you will be giving some lucky family the most amazing gift ever. That makes you an incredible person in my book. Adoption is an extremely unselfish choice to make… just do what you feel is right… sending prayers for confidence and love your way .
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Ok inam speaking from EXPIERENCE your hormones are all over the place…now if u can deal with and accept the guilt…shame…and being haunted by the decision u made go thru with it…bit if u want to feel guilt free have the baby and trust me EVWRYTHING will fall in place also the real man u r with showed up in yall life for a reason…lean on the support u do have…my prayers are with you🤗
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Have your baby and raise it with your other two kids and when the baby’s old enough sit her down and explain it but for now if your boyfriend is willing to be a father I don’t see the questions here… that baby is still part you will regardless of who its father is so if your boyfriend loves you he will love your daughter just as much… but you’re not married so you don’t have to put his name on the birth certificate that way there is something does happen he’s not legally responsible for the baby! That’s what I would do
Well I ain’t going to bash you. But u have a gift that some women don’t have. U can have babies!!! Some women can’t and I’m sure they wish day and night to get pregnant with a child of their own. This is your flesh and blood too. It doesn’t matter about the dad. Karma has a way of rebounding on others. Dont let that happen to u. Give that little spirit a chance to become someone. Your responsibility. Step up
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Hey keep the baby trust me you will enjoy every minute and the boyfriend you are with now accepts the responsibilities of that child even if that baby is not his that’s true love right there and a man keep the baby if you put the baby up for adoption it’s going to put you into a depression this is my opinion keep that baby and let your boyfriend help you raise her
Fuck the sperm donor he doesnt make a fuk anyways…YOU HAVE A RESPONSIBILITY TO THIS CHILD TO BE A LOVING CARING MOTHER TO HER …If u got a man that wants step up let him im a father th o three that arent biologicaly mine but they wont ever be able to tell no one else will either cause i made a decision to be there father not a influence not a guide a FATHER TO THESE CHILDREN AND NOTHING CAN CHANGE RHAT PERIOD… STEP UP MARRY THIS GUY THAT WANTS TO STEP UP BE A DAD BECAUSE THERE FEW AND FAR BETWEEN …AND LIVE A HAPPY LIFE WITH YOUR FAMILY AS OUR HIGHER POWER INTENDED TO DO…
My two oldest kids fathers and I were a clear mistake but that doesn’t make my children a mistake. God had a plan for me. He has one for you too. Besides, your man doesn’t have to be the bio daddy to be a daddy to this baby. He’ll be there from the very beginning and they will bond.
your daughter needs her mother
Can you give this child the life they deserve? If not than maybe you should place the baby. That may be the best and most loving thing you can do for them.
If you are financially able to, and emotioningly able to give this child the life they deserve then keep the baby.
Sometimes the most selfless thing you can do as a mother is look past what you want and look at what the baby deserves
A dad is the one who is there to help raise, wipe tears, give hugs and kisses, to give advice, etc. Keep the baby. God gave this child to you for a reason.
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I’ll take your baby !!
She is your baby…no matter who the father is. The question is…do YOU want to be a mom to her? Are you ready to make the necessary sacrifices that it takes to be a mom? The baby should be the focus. She is the innocent…she will have to live with your decision, too. Many people want to adopt newborns. Many adoptions will keep in touch with the birth mom, every few months, so she can see how the baby is doing. And, so the baby will know her origin. Good luck and God bless you both.
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Oh fcuk sake u open ur bloody legs now pay moaning bitch
No matter who her father is you are her mother!!!
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That man willing to step in is a blessing. And your not putting a burden on him. Anyone can make a baby but it takes a special kind of man to be a daddy to someone elses child. My brother raised his syep daughter from age 5 and they are so close. When she is born nothing else will matter. Let him adoot her then she will be his dayghter. Either way you are very blessed to have such a man that little girl will need him. Either way she wins because if you keep her im sure she will be loved. If you give her up theres a family that will love her too. Remember tho they always go looking for you when they find out they are adopted. Follow your heart.
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Dont make any decisions …wait till you see her…
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