Seems such a petty problem...but how do you handle being unfriended on social media?

I have a great friend of over 30 years. Our children grew up with each other and are now adults 25-30yo.

I/we have always thought of us all being close. They call me Aunty, as do mine to my friend. We have continued contact despite them moving around the world, but now back in our home town. Always warm reunions and visits.
Recently one of my friend’s daughters deleted/blocked me on social media, and today my daughter found she too has been unfriended/blocked.
I have always lived by the thought that if someone doesn’t want to be a part of your life, then hold the door open for them…but still it’s hurtful. And confusing. Nothing has happened. No arguments. No harsh words.
So what happens for future get togethers? It seems so petty but also confusing and hurtful. I’m hopeless at this stuff.
What do others do?

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Seems such a petty problem...but how do you handle being unfriended on social media?

Are you sure that they blocked you? Could they have had their account disabled or temporarily deactivated?

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I have a classmate,50 yr friendship.Shes a snob and full of herself.We dont speak now.Shes a big fake.Im better without her put downs.Were done.I refuse to engage shes viscous.

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I definitely would not have her back as a friend on Facebook. Make sure it was not a mistake first. I would ask my friend to make sure. If it was not a mistake, then I would no longer be her friend on Facebook. I definitely would not beg or ask her to take me back. I know it’s very hurtful because it has happened to me. Hang in there. Maybe it’s just a mistake. You got this girl!!

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I guess it depends on what you post. Are you always posting about politics , negative things such as the battle between vaxxed and unvaxxed? I know I cut out people from my life for those reasons because it gets way too exhausting seeing that stuff everywhere.

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If there your friends surly you would have there phone number?
Give them a call and bring it up
They might have deactivated there accounts for a while to take time off from it

How did u communicate with each other before the likes of social media

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I’m so used to it now, it doesnt bother me. Ill hold the door open for anyone including family. I do think its petty when people cannot simply agree to disagree and move on. Like others, there could be a simple explanation like deactivated accounts. Maybe ask them straight out in real life and if it gets awkward, then you have your answer. At least then you will have some sort of closure.

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People have the right to delete and block you whenever they want, just coz you’re friends doesn’t mean you own them. They’ve the right to do what ever they want without explanation, and it doesn’t always have to be hate. Accept and respect their decision

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I deactivated my account for a social media break. In that time I was messaged numerous times to find our why I had unfriended and blocked them. Chances are, the account is not active!

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Don’t base friendship based on social media got good friends who barely use social media and actually dislike it they deactivate their accounts or delete them every single day even better rarely respond messages on here …

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Bye. Garbage took itself out.

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Maybe she deleted her account ?

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I think a lot people are being very political on FB and many don’t like the politics over FB. And I have one person became more public about her life due to her business so she ended actual friends on FB who actually knows her. And there are some odd ones just want to eliminate who doesn’t like/comment of her post and delete the friendship who don’t respond.

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I go through my fb and delete people i havnt spoken to or seen in ages. It’s not that I don’t like them i just know I won’t see them again so delete them

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Sometimes people deactivate their accounts.

People have said I did the same to them & I’ve never deleted or blocked anyone. No one else has access to my account. I assumed they deleted/blocked me, the times I noticed it. If they hadn’t mentioned it to me, I would have never known the true issue.

Communication is so important for any and every kind of relationship.

I just deleted a ton of people simply because I’m going through a rough time. Every time I see a happy post-it triggers me. Your friend could have a mental illness. Maybe you made one sideways comment (maybe not) when she was having a horrible day & she is still upset about it. By unfriending you -she does not have to keep thinking about it her head. It’s just her way of healing without having to confront you. She could be having depression right now, your happy posts make her feel jealous. This is her coping mechanism-called avoidance/borderline denial. Do not swear it. You have way bigger fish to fry. Join a church & make new friends ! I belong to 4 churches-I have great friends everywhere & they rescue me when I’m in a tight spot ! I love these people ! Cut your friend loose-God will send her back only if he wants her to be your friend ! :purple_heart::blush::two_hearts:

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They probably deleted their account?

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Everyone can offer their advice/opinions but the best thing to do is go to the source. It will prevent further confusion or misunderstanding.

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My own dad deleted and blocked me. After he said I deserved what my extremely abusive ex did to me (for being too “stupid” to leave).
Honestly I don’t care.
They might of deleted their accounts, they might be posting stuff they are worried will get back to their mother. They might not agree with things youv shared. Iv unfollowed people because seeing their constant negativity just emotionally drained me. It’s awful. And it was an easier option.
If it’s upsetting you, you have the option to ask her. But it might not be something you like and might cause drama between both families.
Or you can carry on like you didn’t realise which is the option I personally would go for

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Make a phone call and find out

Were you blocked or did she just deactivate her social media

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The person could have deactivated their Facebook page

She may have wanted a social media break and deactivated her account. :woman_shrugging:t3:

Maybe she has friends she doesn’t want you to know about??

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Maybe they don’t like what u post. It happens. You’ll be ok.

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I delete people all the time from my Facebook.
A lot of people from my town, that I went to school with, family etc. we don’t agree politically, religiously, basically anything, I don’t want to scroll and see the comments and the hate so I remove them. It’s nothing against them because I do still care about them/like them despite our differing views. I just don’t want it on my newsfeed anymore.
This could be the type of situation.

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I have deleted many people recently, (No not political or pandemic related), but they were fake, fake nice and despite living in a small town, I am so over fake friends.
To old (41), for that. Sometimes awkward when I now have to interact, however I literally owe them nothing. :woman_shrugging:t3:

If only we didn’t rely on f***book!

So does social media friendship mean friendship in real life?, No it doesn’t, pick up the phone and call or message this person. My best friend and I aren’t friends on here and have never even thought about ending our friendship because it’s not fb official… :woman_facepalming:

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It’s Facebook not the real world so I don’t understand where it would be awkward. I have friends IRL that I don’t have on my social media. The two worlds are separate. If it is a big thing for you though, it’s simple, ask her.

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I block my own husband during political season because he gets super annoying.
It’s just social media, they’re allowed to control who is on their feed just like they’re allowed to control who is in their lives irl. If you’re curious, ask them about it.

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Y’all don’t have to be rude. I would text or call this person asking what’s going on but first check on different Facebook and search their name if it shows up your blocked if not they deleted Facebook.

Melissa

My ex best friend did this to me randomly so I text her to ask her why but she didn’t have a proper answer one minute she didn’t know know it happened, then someone hacked her, then she didn’t know what I was talking about and she could still see my page ect. It hurt more the fact she couldn’t and still hasn’t told me the truth. Just a bunch of stupid lies. Personally if I was you I would text her or call her xx

She could have deleted her account. Just ask her or her mom. It never hurts to ask.

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Are you sure you have been blocked as sometimes people deactivate their account and it wont come up. If someone has seen shes still on facebook then yes you have been unfriended

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It depends on why she felt the need to delete & block you I personally do this even with people I love or care about and avoid in person if I’m having a bit of a blip with my bpd my thoughts can vary day to day so in order for me not to get on bad terms with people ill avoid them completely until I feel ready to be around them and when I can trust myself to be social but it can also create it’s own issues an fill the gaps on there side on why I’m acting " off " but in reality I can’t help it and don’t want others to punish me for making selfcare a higher need than being a friend sometimes i need to take care of myself first even If that means I need to isolate myself

I’m retired & have time for Facebook. When I was working I just didn’t have the time, so read & reacted very little. Maybe she deleted all but family. Or she just doesn’t have time for it right now. I wonder about some people who friend me if they really enjoy my posts about what I did over the weekend, pictures of my daughters’ cats, other posts I share that are interesting to me. :grinning_face_with_smiling_eyes: I think a lot friend me because I always go to reunions & events and take pictures, and they like to have access to the pix & skip the rest.

If your friends for over 30 years message her or text her and ask her why she unfriended you as you have no idea what you did… if your daughter feels comfortable asking what happened she should also message her friend… unless something happened behind your back that you don’t know about and someone has talked bad about you both.

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Are you sure they didn’t just deactivate their account?

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Did she unfriend/block or just delete fb? Because my brother deleted it or put it on hold and to others checking, it looked like he blocked them. Why not ask her about it?

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Maybe she doesnt agree with some things you post and would rather not see it or maybe she posts things she doesnt want u all to see ?

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The only way to really know is to ask her
Assumptions will kill you

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Maybe she deleted/deactivated her profile

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If I haven’t heard from you in 6 months I remove you

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Maybe the girl is doing something, or has a man, or lady, she doesn’t want her mum to find out about, so she block ppl she knows are close enough? It might not even be a bad reason… the blocker might have some secrets… you should call YOUR friend, and make sure there’s no actual problem, so if there is you can try to rectify it… if not, you called an old friend to have a chat/laugh…

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Its social media id let it go.

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They may have closed their account…

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ignore and move on. Some people arent interested in what you are interested in. Dont take it too personal.

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Once I asked someone why they deleted me and I found out they deleted their whole profile. It was awkward. The kid could also have blocked everyone that knows her mom. You know what they say about assuming, makes an ass of u and me

Some just get tired of social media and either deactive or keep it open for just a few family or friends to keep in touch. Many times its just that simple.

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It’s not like it was your actual friend…maybe the daughter is saying or posting things she doesn’t think her mother would approve of and doesn’t want it to get back to her via you or your daughter…maybe she deactivated her account and it just looks like she deleted you…id guess she deactivated her fb and she’ll reappear when she’s ready to use it again…

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Seems such a petty problem...but how do you handle being unfriended on social media?

It is hurtful! I thought my sister deleted and blocked me, so I called her and asked her what happened to Facebook. And she said she deleted it!
I hope that’s what happened to you, just a deleted Facebook! Just call and ask if everything’s okay! :slightly_smiling_face:

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Yea,I mean if you are such good friends then you have other ways of contacting them,right? ie: phone?
So I would just call n ask??

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It’s social media. Now in days we rather live through social media then real life. I think I would be hurtful if I ran across them at the store or the park and they would be avoiding me. Don’t let it get to you. I’ve been deleted from social media before and continued on. You should do the same and not dwell on it.

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Maybe she didn’t block you and just deleted social media??

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I wouldn’t think twice about it. Its social media.

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I’d just ask your friend if they deleted their accounts. Because they could’ve just deleted their Facebook …

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Its possible she deleted her facebook profile for a short while and did not actually block you

It’s called communication
Go ask her

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Just ask her about it

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Maybe they post stuff you’d consider inappropriate and don’t want you to see. When was the last time you talked to your friends daughter? Maybe you aren’t as close to the kids as you think. Just ask because we have no clue.

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Ask your friend about it?

Ummm… ask them? If you’re that good of friends you’d have their phone number? Just pick up the phone! :woman_facepalming:t2:

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Seems such a petty problem...but how do you handle being unfriended on social media?

Maybe she just wants privacy on social media and wishes to share things with selective people. Nothing wrong in doing so imo.

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Yeah im guessing either shes deactivated her account or just wants privacy on her social media maybe she posts things she doesn’t want those close with her parents telling them?

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Could she have just deleted her account instead?

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Chances are she deleted or deactivated her account.

You move on and don’t care about it lmao

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Seems such a petty problem...but how do you handle being unfriended on social media?

Maybe they just want privacy from the life they are expected to live by the people they grew up with

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Social media isn’t real life don’t worry about it unless she unfriends you in real life

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I wouldn’t worry 2 much, i have close friends & don’t have their kids on my fb. I always delete my mum off my fb because I know some things i post she won’t like lol Like someone else said, unless she deletes you from her life then I would carry on as normal & not take it to heart. Fb isn’t real life :blush:

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well, i would have understand if the children would have unfriended the older ones…like social media is something you don’t want so share with older relatives or family friends, but it’s strange she also blocked your daughter :thinking:
are you sure she didn’t delete her account at all, so it’s nothing personal but a generell thing?
but why not talk to your friend? just ask her if she knows something or has an explaination, or maybe she will talk to her kid to figure it out…
i understand it’s an awkward situation, but you don’t need your friends kids, it’s not like your friend blocked you…

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The kids might be doing something they don’t want you to tell their parents about. And maybe something withe the daughter. She might tell you what they are doing. And you might tell the parents. Maybe your daughter said something they didn’t like. Or visa versa. Whatever happened I would let it go. Hopefully your still friends with the mom. She might need someone to listen and not judge. Or it could be nothing and kids are being kids. What’s new.

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Maybe it means nothing. Heck they may have deleted Facebook and other platforms like I’ve been swearing I’m going to do. Social media gave us this delusion that just because someone don’t like what We post or share. Means we can’t be friends in real life like we have been for years. I’ve deleted friends and family on Facebook, not Bc I don’t like them. Just because I got tired of seeing their negativity or constant bitching or constant political posts that I don’t agree with. I’m not saying If I saw them in Walmart I wouldn’t have a half hour conversation with them about the family or work. I just don’t like the stuff they post. Heck I have a friend I talk to every day sometimes for hours we drive tractor trailers and I deleted him on Facebook Bc of the things he shares. It could mean nothing. And since you said daughters of your friend….you never know they could just be going through a faze of some kind I’m 27 and still have them. Hold the door open, but I suggest to use a door stop, if they come around, they come a round. If not, we’ll the doors still unlocked

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I recently quit a job I loved. I felt supported until every single "friend’ started unfriending and blocking me. It sucks but people seem to have an easy time abandoning others.

Take it as a sign that 30 years are done. If she did it she had her reasons. Don’t beg.

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I deleted all my mom friends and family etc, I just don’t want them on here, probably didn’t even block you for malicious reasons

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It’s your friends daughter that’s blocked you, not your friend. Unfortunately you don’t have any rights over the daughters friendship. Just move on and carry on with your friend.

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They changed there account or deleted it or the boyfriend. Girlfriend asked them to delete it… Or you can just ask them y as your so close or ask one of the family to ask them you add ound mentally immerturer to ask the question so maybe that’s why you were blocked :thinking::thinking::thinking:

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Maybe they’ve decided to come off social media altogether or taking a break from it so nobody can see their account. Don’t take it so personally.

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This young person may just want to make sure nothing they do gets back to the parents …

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I don’t know about the details in your situation, but I have a friend/coworker I love to pieces, and I had to block him on fb because he was blowing up my feed with constant photos of fancy semi rigs, classic muscle cars, trains etc “which do you prefer” to the point it was choking out everyone else. It wasn’t one bit personal or because I was mad.
And there’s a possibility they got hacked and their account was manipulated. People do like to cause others problems.
Don’t overreact; it’s still just fb.

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Could it have anything to do with politics? I’m having difficulty staying friends with those that are Trumpsters.

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If you rely your relationship with a friend based on social media then you guys were never close to begin with.

True friendships don’t need to be seen or even heard of but always there. Idk why the heck people think social media is the go to source for whether a person is being like or not. Maybe your friend deleting you has nothing to do with you and that goes to say you were never really her friend :woman_shrugging:t2: because if you were then you would have known why she deleted you instead of being the unknown

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I did this to my entire family and anyone who associated with them until I was almost 20 :sweat_smile:
I didn’t want them to see me swear with my friends or relay anything to my mum about what I shared or posted- I understand now it probably upset people but at the time I genuinely didn’t think they would notice :sweat_smile:

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This isn’t petty this is literally overthinking- I literally blocked/in friended my grandmother when I was 12 all the way up until after I was 18 because she sent me tooooo many game requests lmao. That was it didn’t love her any less

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That kind of happened to me. I unfriended my great neice because I didn’t like her additude. But I still get along with my neice. We just don’t discuss it

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Easy, you grow up. They probably blocked you because they don’t want certain parts of their online life to become known to people who are familiar with them offline.

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I think you should invest this time and energy into therapy.

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It’s probably nothing personal. My daughter blocked all our family on Facebook simply because she didn’t want them seeing what she was posting. It was quite inappropriate. :woman_shrugging:t2: It wasn’t personal.

My experience has been that conflicting political views has resulted in being blocked by friends and family. It’s out of my control. I move on.

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WELL, what I would do is communicate with my friend and make sure the two of us are OK, and if not, why not? and do I need to do something to fix OUR relationship. If you and your adult friend are OK, maybe you and your daughter can move past this, maybe friend’s dtr going thrru some upheaval, and yur family catching some of the debris from it.

i think you and your daughter need to not care about this until when they are ready to take then you should ask her why she did that i hope you get some answers but if not just go with your life specialty now

The issue will be if she deletes you too, otherwise it’s no issue. They obviously want privacy (from you and maybe others your age group).

I blocked my family. I love them dearly but I don’t want them in my business. It may not be personal. Ask them and you will find out all the answers to your questions.

What’s her partner like? Controlling? Might not be her that’s blocked you. Write to her, ring her, check in on her. X