Write down all the housework and then divide it.
You both work 40 hours. You both pay half the bills. If he wants everything split evenly he needs to pull his 50% of housework. You can mow every other week.
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Totally agree 100% from both
Get rid of him, this is not healthy
Thats how I think it needs to be men do more yard work since I have bad neck
So we try to do 50/50 on bills but when my husband made more than me he paid more. And he technically still pays more of our bills because he gets va pay. If he’s not pulling his weight you need to talk to him.
Make a chore chart! I just tell mine what to do and it works out well lol.
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So glad my marriage isn’t like this marriage is 100/100 fyi and im so happy I have an amazing husband I really hope you guys figure out a better way of doing things cause that is not healthy I wouldn’t think so any way
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I sure as hell hope you’re not taking on the extra chores for free because he would pay a lot of freaking money to have somebody else do those chores.
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I feel you should pay all the bills with all the money and then whatever is left you can split 50/50 as far as the house work in the kids that’s not supposed to be a paying job that’s something you have to work out with him separately
Where is the idea of a honey do list? I’m only 31 and if there’s a project my wife wants done she’ll tell me, I’ll admit I can’t stand cleaning bathrooms or surface cleaning but I’ll do the dishes and vacuum and steam clean the carpets, maybe not every day but often enough. I mow the lawn which is a couple acres do mower maintenance etc, other projects around the house to upkeep it but if his job is more physically demanding cleaning jobs may actually be difficult for him with all the leaning and bending to accomplish it, we have separate accounts, I pay most if not all the bills, and I make sure her electronics and computers and phone stuff is up to date you can’t expect the partner to be able to 50% on anything if you need help ask him for help, if he needs help he should ask you, it’s going to be a struggle every relationship is, but help him to be the best version of himself and encourage him to help you be the best version of yourself too
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We share. We put all the money together pay the bills get the kids things and food. Whatever is left we decide together what to do with it. 50/50 is a more a mental thing in our home. Some times its 80/20 on either side. When you love eachother you work together. When one just can’t the other steps in and vise versa. Thats team work.
Are you guys married or roommates? I mean…what 
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Honestly I had this EXACT same problem when my husband and I were dating and I asked myself before we were married- is this something I can live with for my whole life? Does this override all the good?
When we were dating we split things 50/50 and he was VERY nit picky on his 50 because he’s been taken advantage of with money before so it’s in his nature. Also he litterally did not do a chore when we moved in together. And we had some HUGEEE fights about it. Fast forward 5 years, we haven’t fought about these things in over 3 years because I changed my perspective which changed the whole situation. We did get a joint account and that did save a lot of money fights for us and we both still have personal accounts we use for little stuff.
This is what I learned about my husband- and u may find urs very similar- when my husband was growing up he wasn’t expected to clean house, he was barely expected to clean his room, the only chore he was expected to do was his turn on dishes. Whereas my parents expected me to do anything that needed done. U didn’t get a chore list- u saw what needed and u did it. And I think that women even if we are raised with chores we are taught more about housekeeping. This sounds like a piss poor excuse, and it is I agree (and believe me, my sons will know how to clean a house) buttt we don’t get to choose how our men are wired. We get to choose if we can live with their flaws and if their good traits our way their annoying ones to where we can live with it for our whole lives 
so now my husband does dishes every other turn (which turns into every third or 4th turn sometimes because I can’t stand them sitting in the sink for so long and just do them) but he also does anything I ask. This was hard for me to get to and even after I swallowed my pride and started asking it was hard for me to not be annoyed “u mean I gotta tell a grown man the floor needs swept?! What in the world?!” Haha but like I said before most men genuinely do not see the things that most women are hardwared to see. Also another thing is my husband neverrr complains about anything being dirty. He can walk into a tornado and he just keeps his blinders on, but on the other hand I swear he coukd come home to a disaster area and the table would be cleaned off and he would notice and say “thanks for cleaning the table babe it looks great.” Haha. Ur husband may not be like mine but I’m betting he’s got some good in there or u wouldn’t have married him 
u need to talk with him, be open with how u feel but do not be accusing or hateful that’s the quickest way to get a man to shut down- and then ultimately ask for help. Also something I do is try to always say thank you, even if it’s the smallest task. This isn’t always easy. Some days I slam dirty clothes around in my laundry room and try to count ten things I love about my husband cuz I’m sick of his laundry, but marriage is like that haha. Be open and better days will come
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Stop doing those things and see what his response is. I go on an unannounced strike here & there to see if he’ll be more grateful or pick up the slack. It’s an eye opener for him at times. I also say “Hey can you do so and so…since I’m busy doing this?”
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This isnt how marriage is supposed to be, you are supposed to work together. Are you doing all the yard work and house maintenance, taking trash…these are chores too?
You lost me at split the bills as long as im married I will not pay a dime from my own money and he would never take it from me either
Because hes not working rightnow we both do the house work together
When he works i do it all
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Ummm no.
We have 1 bank account, we don’t say who makes more money or who does more housework. It’s all our money. We of course talk before making large purchases, but that’s about it.
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Got to work together he is asshole
If yall are married and in the same household, how the bills get paid should not be you pay this i pay that, ot causes a lot of arguments and frustration. My husband and I had separate accounts for a while and it was always frustrating figuring out who was going to pay what and when. It got much easier once we shared an account and the bills just got paid.
As for hose work and child care, it should absolutely be 50/50 especially sine you both work. What I have found to be the most effective way of approaching this type of thing is to sit him down, talk to him and be direct. This is what i need from you, I am tired.
In my case once I started throwing in all the “extra” stuff I feel, I think ect. He started taking it as me complaining or bitching. Where as the more direct approach worked without any argument.
Just my experience though.
I’m not married. However I have my own bank account and I would be fine with splitting bills 50/50 if that’s what we decided. A lot of my friends husbands/boyfriends pay for the mortgage and major things and just ask them to purchase groceries, lights or oil etc. it really just depends. My version of clean is different from a guys version of clean so I do all the cleaning. He will help sometimes with dishes (loading the dishwasher etc) but I take care of everything else. I work roughly 85-95 hrs every 2 weeks and also have a toddler. I make it work
Why is money not looked at as joint. Why are you dividing. Marriage is a partnership. Division is for divorce.
My parents were always weird. Daddy got paid and he gave everything to mom because she managed the financial obligations. The fun money was always used for what they both wanted. Daddy needed a new truck. He got it next time mom needed scrapbook stuff. Marriage is about living together. If you are constantly dividing you will end up in divorce
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You could always hire a cleaning service and spilt the bill. Just a thought.
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Write down what you posted and give it to him. Does he do the things like fixing things changing bulbs , takin out the trash. Washing the cars mowing the lawn killing bugs ect if he does then 
My man and I split. He pays half the bills and I pay the other half. We both clean and we both make sure the kids have what they need. We’re a team. Unfortunately I do all the shopping 
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My husband and I split the utilities and he’s pays a little more towards rent. We take turns buying groceries and both clean. He does the yard work. I hate mowing !!!
Tell him he can pay ALLLL of the bills and you can take care of the house and kid on top of working. Use your extra money for spa days! See how he likes that arrangement.
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A man that helps HIMSELF his woman and his home and has the compassion to care for his own child is from the heart 
I am so blessed and greatful for you Baltazar Chavez
The conversation of splitting the house work and helping with the child should be just as easy as it was to talk about paying half the bills.
But good luck with that. Men don’t see housework/raising kids as being something they want to participate in. But are quick to have their woman do it ALL. FU*K THAT. If you work too, make sure it’s 50/50 on everything!!!
ALL the way around. Fair is fair
You have to think about what outdoor house work he does that you don’t do. I know I don’t mow the lawn or shovel the driveway also he usually takes out the garbage to the cans and the road as well as brings them back. He chips ice off my roof in the winter and paints the deck and fence. I don’t know what you do to keep it 50/50 but just try to think of everything that you both do and take it from there.
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Well that is something that it should be establish from the moment you decide to live together, is kind of like you let it slide for along time and now he got used to it and is normal to him, and he might get offended it all depends how mature he is into the subject he might agree with it and say yes just to avoid any argument but he might not fallow through and is not hes job to assure it its yours, you have to set boundaries i will start from not cooking for him , no sex, 
, ( thats a big punishment for mines and it works ) dont clean after him, stop doing things with him like going for a movie night, dinner, till he get it but you have to be strong dont let him manipulate you, and if that doesn’t work find something else that works if not then he has no considerations and if thats the case he probably doesn’t care about your feelings and there is no point on being together bc there’s no love .
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How about a conversation about you guys being a team and doing everything that needs to be done JUST TO GET IT DONE so you can spend time together as a family instead of constantly thinking about doing your half and making sure your significant other does theirs. Put your money together, pay your bills, do the dishes, laundry, take care of your kid, and everything else a grown up adult couple does TOGETHER without keeping score.
There’s no my money and his money it’s our money. There’s only one checking account.
Men work from sun up to sun set , a woman’s work is never done
I doubt it will ever be 50/50. But if you don’t push the issue it will always remain this way. Time to cut husband off of fixing his dinner, doing his laundry, or anything else until he gets the picture. Shouldn’t take to long. When he has to wear dirty underwear maybe he’ll catch on.
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If you’re doing half the bills he should be doing half the work but… Didn’t work for me. Good luck.
My husband and I have more of an old-school relationship I don’t make even close to what he does so he pays for almost all of the bills and I take care of the house and the kids. But we both still work 40 hours a week (whenever I do get to go back to work). But since I’ve been off work cuz of the covid-19 i care of everything at home
My husband and I have this argument a lot. So he pays more bills and I do more cleaning. If he doesn’t wanna clean, tell him to pull his wallet out more often. 
it’s not fair but it’s a start.
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Split? Lol y’all are a team
My husband and I have been married for forty years, and we never did the 50/50 nonsense. We always had joint accounts, and what’s mine is his, and vice versa. We always had each other’s back, and who made more money never mattered…still doesn’t. And we never had assigned chores! We just, together, did what needed to be done, and that’s still the same today as it was 40 years ago. When you marry, you are supposed to be as one, financially as well as well as physically and emotionally, etc. All of this mine and yours stuff is just a recipe for disaster, and will one day tear a couple apart. I’ve seen it happen before to others. Its never too late to change, and my advice is to do it sooner rather than later, before the wounds are too deep to heal. Good luck.
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Yeah I think 50/50 is right bills household chores etc…
My husband and I have joint accounts. His money is mine and my money is his. We’re 100% together on keeping the house clean, taking care of the kids and never making anything a competition- which is the key in my opinion. We’ve been together 13 years (since 17 yrs old). Team work makes the dream work!
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Bills need to come out of a joint account. If you each want a separate account for play money then have at it, but the money you both make is legally both yours. Period. It should all be put into one big pot, you pay all your monthly bills from that. Whatever is left should be split between saving and you both. The chores are a completely separate matter. If you need more help then speak up and demand it. You both have legal responsibilities to your child. Both should be giving 100% in that area. The housework isnt a you or him thing, its a together thing. You both need to really evaluate if you are roommates where 50/50 split is necessary OR married partners where you act like a team.
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I told my husband im happy to play the housewife if he does the “manly” duties like paying bills, mowing the lawn, repair work, putting together furniture, bins… if he wants to have a traditional sexist view he better remember when housewife’s were a thing, men were usually the sole income earners.
A relationship is a partnership, however it works out for you it should be a joint effort. Yes somedays one will put in more effort like if the others sick or pay more money if the others incomes lower but that’s how a relationship should work. I told my husband when we moved in together I refuse to do 50/50 in bills, we aren’t room-mates. Who ever gets the bill pays it. Now were married and he just gives me money each week and I put it in with my money then pay the bills 
Hire a housecleaner to come over weekly and split the bill 50/50
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Fairs fair. He should do half of it😂
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I tried to read all the comments but I didnt find one that said “relationships are 110% from both, all the time”. Playing the 50/50 game is treating it more like siblings than partners. Sounds like you see there needs to be change.
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Well in my situation, we have been together 13 years. We do not share the same bank account but we both have access to each other’s accounts. I use what I need from his account and I pitch in a lot with many purchases. We just do things as a team. We don’t have assigned bills or chores. We tackle them as we need them done. He helps out with the kids a lot. I take on more of the kids school and doc appointments and he handles the haircuts and shoes etc. one way or another it evens out. We are each others balance and we have each others back 100 percent. I cook more because he’s not much of a cook, but he pitches in for groceries and he buys take out or takes us out on weekends.
Having to split bills and chores down to the last cent is basically a roommates Contract. At that rate do you split who’s on top during sex too? Having assigned money, chores or responsibilities is a set up for a failed relationship. It shows lack of trust.
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My Husband gets up with the babies on his days off and does his hunny do list around the house it took a few years to get this way. I was sick and has to go to the hospital for a week and he saw how much I really did . We sometime bet on silly things and loser has to clean the kitchen or something like that . Maybe try to find a creative way to get him to help out . Wish I had an answer for you .
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It’s both of yoyre home. Everything should be 50/50.if he wants bills 50/50. Tell him you want housework 50/50… He will shut up or do it
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50\50 means 50/50. So he can help clean. Yall can alternate nights to help with your child’s sleep. Yup. Don’t let him slack if he wants it 50/50.
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My husband works and I’m a stay at home mom of two girls, age 2 years and 10 months. He pays all the bills, gives me cash if I need it, and always makes sure we have everything we need. I cook, clean, wash laundry and manage the household, however, if there’s something that needs doing, he does it without being asked. We’re a team. Some days 50/50, some 80/20, and some 100/0. Bad day at work, I jump in a little more, rough day with the kids, he takes over so I can get a little breather. It’s about working together
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You can always tell him to be the man of the house as it should be and you be home maker?? My husband works and pay for everything and I stay home and be wife
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Co account?? Who splits bills?
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Get divorced! There is no splitting bills when your married wtf! My fiancé and I have a pretty good system he pays the mortgage, us cellular bill etc out of his account and I pay other bills out of our account. If I need money he gives it to me! I don’t understand your relationship or marriage!
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Well seeing as both y’all are grown then yes he should be doing housework too. Not saying he has to do them when you do them but he should help.
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It’s not about 50/50 its about always equaling to 100
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How about telling him what you just wrote?
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Higher f****** Nanny and split half the bill
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Splitting bills when you’re married?? I just don’t understand this world anymore!
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Splitting 50/50 that don’t sound like a relationship you doing most all the responsibility. He would care more for you as his child’s mother above the relationship. Duces
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I would just sit with him and talk. My boyfriend and I split everything. Or we do like the I pay this time you pay next time deal. For us, we have it to where we pay almost an even amount on the bills. I usually pay a little more due to the fact I’m the only one with a car payment. We have 2 kids as well from my previous marriage, so I usually pay for their things. BUT if I need money he will not hesitate to help me.
Nowadays people sit here and say “my man needs to take care of me” but I was raised a way that’s different. When it comes to housework, I absolutely believe that both man and woman should do their due diligence in helping the house stay cleaned. I usually do most of it at mine because my boyfriend will work 60 hours or more a week.
Find balance in your relationship
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Yes me and mine do 50/50 and every other night even switch the 2 am feeding. And switch cooking and who cleans every other night it’s how it works.
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50/50 doesn’t work when your spouse is military and deployed so no … we never did 50/50. 13 years apart and 4 kids. He sacrificed so much for us. I was lucky to be a stay at home mom. I budgeted and made things work. Now we both work , but we don’t split bills 50/50 and we each clean. Sometimes he does the dishes , trash and vacuuming . Then other times I do it.
Yes it should be. Tell him to get off his ass.
I wouldn’t approach it has “you need to step it up” I feel like if you just explained to him your overwhelmed and could use an extra hand on a few things he’d be more prone to not be offended. Your wording is everything!
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Nothing is split. Everything is shared. It is OUR bills, OUR home, and OUR child.
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Yes if he expects things like bills to be 50/50 so is the house he definitely need to helping around the house with chores and more with your child if he’s not a very involved parent sit him down and have a calm conversation about how your running on empty around the house and he needs to step it up in the house work figure out a chore routine that works for you guys so it’s not all on you
I’m not sure about the money thing. But for the household stuff both should be contributing. Especially if both work. It doesn’t have to be exactly 50/50 but yes he should definitely be helping out. Tell him he needs to step up more. It’s his house and his kid also.
See money wise my partner pays the rent I pay the Bills and shopping! I do all the housework but thats my choice as I like it done a certain way so my partner does all the cooking on his days off plus he does all the gardening! With our son it’s pretty much a team effort! Apart from I do all the night stuff just as that’s routine for our son if his dad goes into him on the night he thinks its play time 
… I think you just need to sit down and ask the question if he thinks the household stuff should be 50/50 too its whatever works for you guys!
All I can say is good luck with that one. In a perfect world things would be 50/50. But we don’t live in a perfect world
Absolutely he should help otherwise call around find out what cleaning services change and change half
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I take care of inside house but hubby does all outside work(yard 3+ ac, snow anything) and I’m ocd with cleaning so it works… good luck
If you split the bill then split everything then including household chores and parenting.
Set boundaries and express to him that you both work and pay bills so you both should equally be helping with household duties as well. You deserve self care just like he does. He gets days off and so should you. Household duties would include cleaning of the house, cooking, helping with said child and even making and going to appointments. Good luck!
Yes team work is the answer 100% from everyone in the family.
Things shouldn’t be split it’s both your money and both your chores
He DEFINITELY needs to be helping!!! That’s BS. You can’t do 99% of the house/children while all his time is free.
Teamwork (however that works for BOTH of you) is what makes the world go round.
Maybe you don’t need him for 50% if household stuff. But need him to help with some things. If he can’t be man enough to see and do it, make that man a list until he catches on. If he doesn’t catch on and still refuses, throw the man away 
My husband pays all the bills. My $$ is for whatever I need or help with. I do 99% of inside work. And probably 50% of outside work. But I work from home. With 3 kids at home too.
He comes home after 15hr days and will help finish up dinner messes, get kids ready for bed, put his laundry away, take trash out etc.
Splitting everything 50/50 sounds like something roommates say. Usually, one partner tends to do more than the other. If he won’t help with the chores, tell him you will hire a cleaning company and can split that bill 50/50.
I would approach him the same way he approached you with splitting the bills etc… If he wants everything split then split everything. It won’t change until you change it. Speak up! A closed mouth doesn’t get fed. But this is only my opinion.
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I don’t think splitting money in a marriage is a good idea,your supposed to be a team and work together as one. If you both work it’s fair for him to help you with the house chores too.
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So your HUSBAND says you need to split bills 50 50 that makes no sense at now my husband and I haven’t always had a joint account but when we didn’t we still just each covered whatever bills we could both of our money was OUR money. And yes if he wants to split bills he should be helping with the chores stop doing his dishes and laundry he will bring it up.
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Absolutely you can’t put everything on one person it’s not fair to either one of you trust and believe
There is no right answer, so this is just my opinion…be your child’s champion. By keeping a nice home and being there for him is priceless. There is no way to approach the subject without argument…believe me, I tried. Because hubby’s job is physical and yours not, he believes he works harder. So, maybe less focus on a tidy house. Let things be a little messy (not dirty, that is gross). If he comments kindly state that you had to choose for your health and you chose your child. Hopefully he will either step up in one area. It is hard, but always put your child and you first. As for the money…if you are not financially stressed by the arrangement let it be. Again, you are assuring the comfort of your child.
Just tell him straight lv 50/50 means everything. Me and my hubby are both in our 60s and we have an agreement he does most of the cooking and hoovering and i do the shopping and look after the garden, and i must say is looking beautiful,so just be straight xx👍
Marriage is not 50/50! It’s whoever needs help at that moment
I believe anyone who is married should have a joint checking account. The woman does majority of the house cleaning and the man does the outside yard work and anything that needs to be fixed. As for cooking, we both do it.
Yes!! wtf is with men who think they don’t need to help around the house? Even children should do age appropriate chores! Get him off his ass
Send him a bill for his half of chores and child care
I personally don’t understand married couples splitting bills. My husband and I have a joint account where all of our money goes and we pay all of our bills out of it. As far as helping with chores, if he isn’t helping as much as you’d like I would definitely talk to him. He might not realize it. My husband always helps but sometimes I need to ask or remind him to do something because he probably doesn’t see it as needing to be done like I do.
50/50 on bills may work for you both but I’m not exactly a fan. However, you may need to let him know you need help with your child & chores. If you’re going to 50/50 it, then take it all the way I guess.
I went through this … divorced now. I made all the money and was also doing a lot of the housework. I asked hubby to help out with the kids and he accused me of not wanting to spend time with them. Marriage is a partnership and both need to contribute their fair share.
His work is more physically draining on the body. Me and my man both work. I do more of the house work, because his more physical and taxing. I love him and want him take care. I do not complain at all and have kids. We are very happy, no complaining.
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It’s 100/100. And if it’s not that then get out and don’t look back
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You both should be striving to keep the household afloat, chores and children,
Marriage is not 50/50, 100/100, both giving all they can to be supportive of the marriage
Periodt…
FYI - with this being a public post anyone can see these responses - future employers - anyone - why is this not a private group?
50/50 means 50/50 … not just when he sees fit.
You shouldn’t have to ask a grown man to help keep the house clean that’s ridiculous!
Absolutely 50/50 for everything! Or 50/50 for a maid.
WHEN U SAID I DO IT DIDN’T ? 50 50 IT WAS LOVE.
so you both work it is a pleasure to help each other .
When it comes to the checks they both should go to same account.and take time for her to pay what needs to be paid and balance to savings.
ATM and $,20.00 in his wallet is more then he needs. More money will cost agruements no thrust .
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Married people put their money all in one pot and pay bills my husband worked long hours still managed to do the outside work I did the inside work no wonder marriages don’t last