The conversation of splitting the house work and helping with the child should be just as easy as it was to talk about paying half the bills.
But good luck with that. Men don’t see housework/raising kids as being something they want to participate in. But are quick to have their woman do it ALL. FU*K THAT. If you work too, make sure it’s 50/50 on everything!!!
ALL the way around. Fair is fair
You have to think about what outdoor house work he does that you don’t do. I know I don’t mow the lawn or shovel the driveway also he usually takes out the garbage to the cans and the road as well as brings them back. He chips ice off my roof in the winter and paints the deck and fence. I don’t know what you do to keep it 50/50 but just try to think of everything that you both do and take it from there.
1 Like
Well that is something that it should be establish from the moment you decide to live together, is kind of like you let it slide for along time and now he got used to it and is normal to him, and he might get offended it all depends how mature he is into the subject he might agree with it and say yes just to avoid any argument but he might not fallow through and is not hes job to assure it its yours, you have to set boundaries i will start from not cooking for him , no sex, 
, ( thats a big punishment for mines and it works ) dont clean after him, stop doing things with him like going for a movie night, dinner, till he get it but you have to be strong dont let him manipulate you, and if that doesn’t work find something else that works if not then he has no considerations and if thats the case he probably doesn’t care about your feelings and there is no point on being together bc there’s no love .
1 Like
How about a conversation about you guys being a team and doing everything that needs to be done JUST TO GET IT DONE so you can spend time together as a family instead of constantly thinking about doing your half and making sure your significant other does theirs. Put your money together, pay your bills, do the dishes, laundry, take care of your kid, and everything else a grown up adult couple does TOGETHER without keeping score.
There’s no my money and his money it’s our money. There’s only one checking account.
Men work from sun up to sun set , a woman’s work is never done
I doubt it will ever be 50/50. But if you don’t push the issue it will always remain this way. Time to cut husband off of fixing his dinner, doing his laundry, or anything else until he gets the picture. Shouldn’t take to long. When he has to wear dirty underwear maybe he’ll catch on.
1 Like
If you’re doing half the bills he should be doing half the work but… Didn’t work for me. Good luck.
My husband and I have more of an old-school relationship I don’t make even close to what he does so he pays for almost all of the bills and I take care of the house and the kids. But we both still work 40 hours a week (whenever I do get to go back to work). But since I’ve been off work cuz of the covid-19 i care of everything at home
My husband and I have this argument a lot. So he pays more bills and I do more cleaning. If he doesn’t wanna clean, tell him to pull his wallet out more often. 
it’s not fair but it’s a start.
1 Like
Split? Lol 
y’all are a team
My husband and I have been married for forty years, and we never did the 50/50 nonsense. We always had joint accounts, and what’s mine is his, and vice versa. We always had each other’s back, and who made more money never mattered…still doesn’t. And we never had assigned chores! We just, together, did what needed to be done, and that’s still the same today as it was 40 years ago. When you marry, you are supposed to be as one, financially as well as well as physically and emotionally, etc. All of this mine and yours stuff is just a recipe for disaster, and will one day tear a couple apart. I’ve seen it happen before to others. Its never too late to change, and my advice is to do it sooner rather than later, before the wounds are too deep to heal. Good luck.
8 Likes
Yeah I think 50/50 is right bills household chores etc…
My husband and I have joint accounts. His money is mine and my money is his. We’re 100% together on keeping the house clean, taking care of the kids and never making anything a competition- which is the key in my opinion. We’ve been together 13 years (since 17 yrs old). Team work makes the dream work!
2 Likes
Bills need to come out of a joint account. If you each want a separate account for play money then have at it, but the money you both make is legally both yours. Period. It should all be put into one big pot, you pay all your monthly bills from that. Whatever is left should be split between saving and you both. The chores are a completely separate matter. If you need more help then speak up and demand it. You both have legal responsibilities to your child. Both should be giving 100% in that area. The housework isnt a you or him thing, its a together thing. You both need to really evaluate if you are roommates where 50/50 split is necessary OR married partners where you act like a team.
2 Likes
I told my husband im happy to play the housewife if he does the “manly” duties like paying bills, mowing the lawn, repair work, putting together furniture, bins… if he wants to have a traditional sexist view he better remember when housewife’s were a thing, men were usually the sole income earners.
A relationship is a partnership, however it works out for you it should be a joint effort. Yes somedays one will put in more effort like if the others sick or pay more money if the others incomes lower but that’s how a relationship should work. I told my husband when we moved in together I refuse to do 50/50 in bills, we aren’t room-mates. Who ever gets the bill pays it. Now were married and he just gives me money each week and I put it in with my money then pay the bills 
Hire a housecleaner to come over weekly and split the bill 50/50
7 Likes
Fairs fair. He should do half of it😂
1 Like
I tried to read all the comments but I didnt find one that said “relationships are 110% from both, all the time”. Playing the 50/50 game is treating it more like siblings than partners. Sounds like you see there needs to be change.
3 Likes
Well in my situation, we have been together 13 years. We do not share the same bank account but we both have access to each other’s accounts. I use what I need from his account and I pitch in a lot with many purchases. We just do things as a team. We don’t have assigned bills or chores. We tackle them as we need them done. He helps out with the kids a lot. I take on more of the kids school and doc appointments and he handles the haircuts and shoes etc. one way or another it evens out. We are each others balance and we have each others back 100 percent. I cook more because he’s not much of a cook, but he pitches in for groceries and he buys take out or takes us out on weekends.
Having to split bills and chores down to the last cent is basically a roommates Contract. At that rate do you split who’s on top during sex too? Having assigned money, chores or responsibilities is a set up for a failed relationship. It shows lack of trust.
3 Likes
My Husband gets up with the babies on his days off and does his hunny do list around the house it took a few years to get this way. I was sick and has to go to the hospital for a week and he saw how much I really did . We sometime bet on silly things and loser has to clean the kitchen or something like that . Maybe try to find a creative way to get him to help out . Wish I had an answer for you .
1 Like
It’s both of yoyre home. Everything should be 50/50.if he wants bills 50/50. Tell him you want housework 50/50… He will shut up or do it
2 Likes
50\50 means 50/50. So he can help clean. Yall can alternate nights to help with your child’s sleep. Yup. Don’t let him slack if he wants it 50/50.
2 Likes
My husband works and I’m a stay at home mom of two girls, age 2 years and 10 months. He pays all the bills, gives me cash if I need it, and always makes sure we have everything we need. I cook, clean, wash laundry and manage the household, however, if there’s something that needs doing, he does it without being asked. We’re a team. Some days 50/50, some 80/20, and some 100/0. Bad day at work, I jump in a little more, rough day with the kids, he takes over so I can get a little breather. It’s about working together
9 Likes
You can always tell him to be the man of the house as it should be and you be home maker?? My husband works and pay for everything and I stay home and be wife
1 Like
Co account?? Who splits bills?
3 Likes
Get divorced! There is no splitting bills when your married wtf! My fiancé and I have a pretty good system he pays the mortgage, us cellular bill etc out of his account and I pay other bills out of our account. If I need money he gives it to me! I don’t understand your relationship or marriage!
6 Likes
Well seeing as both y’all are grown then yes he should be doing housework too. Not saying he has to do them when you do them but he should help.
1 Like
It’s not about 50/50 its about always equaling to 100
1 Like
How about telling him what you just wrote?
4 Likes
Higher f****** Nanny and split half the bill
7 Likes
Splitting bills when you’re married?? I just don’t understand this world anymore!
3 Likes
Splitting 50/50 that don’t sound like a relationship you doing most all the responsibility. He would care more for you as his child’s mother above the relationship. Duces
2 Likes
I would just sit with him and talk. My boyfriend and I split everything. Or we do like the I pay this time you pay next time deal. For us, we have it to where we pay almost an even amount on the bills. I usually pay a little more due to the fact I’m the only one with a car payment. We have 2 kids as well from my previous marriage, so I usually pay for their things. BUT if I need money he will not hesitate to help me.
Nowadays people sit here and say “my man needs to take care of me” but I was raised a way that’s different. When it comes to housework, I absolutely believe that both man and woman should do their due diligence in helping the house stay cleaned. I usually do most of it at mine because my boyfriend will work 60 hours or more a week.
Find balance in your relationship
1 Like
Yes me and mine do 50/50 and every other night even switch the 2 am feeding. And switch cooking and who cleans every other night it’s how it works.
1 Like
50/50 doesn’t work when your spouse is military and deployed so no … we never did 50/50. 13 years apart and 4 kids. He sacrificed so much for us. I was lucky to be a stay at home mom. I budgeted and made things work. Now we both work , but we don’t split bills 50/50 and we each clean. Sometimes he does the dishes , trash and vacuuming . Then other times I do it.
Yes it should be. Tell him to get off his ass.
I wouldn’t approach it has “you need to step it up” I feel like if you just explained to him your overwhelmed and could use an extra hand on a few things he’d be more prone to not be offended. Your wording is everything!
4 Likes
Nothing is split. Everything is shared. It is OUR bills, OUR home, and OUR child.
1 Like
Yes if he expects things like bills to be 50/50 so is the house he definitely need to helping around the house with chores and more with your child if he’s not a very involved parent sit him down and have a calm conversation about how your running on empty around the house and he needs to step it up in the house work figure out a chore routine that works for you guys so it’s not all on you
I’m not sure about the money thing. But for the household stuff both should be contributing. Especially if both work. It doesn’t have to be exactly 50/50 but yes he should definitely be helping out. Tell him he needs to step up more. It’s his house and his kid also.
See money wise my partner pays the rent I pay the Bills and shopping! I do all the housework but thats my choice as I like it done a certain way so my partner does all the cooking on his days off plus he does all the gardening! With our son it’s pretty much a team effort! Apart from I do all the night stuff just as that’s routine for our son if his dad goes into him on the night he thinks its play time 
… I think you just need to sit down and ask the question if he thinks the household stuff should be 50/50 too its whatever works for you guys!
All I can say is good luck with that one. In a perfect world things would be 50/50. But we don’t live in a perfect world
Absolutely he should help otherwise call around find out what cleaning services change and change half
1 Like
I take care of inside house but hubby does all outside work(yard 3+ ac, snow anything) and I’m ocd with cleaning so it works… good luck
If you split the bill then split everything then including household chores and parenting.
Set boundaries and express to him that you both work and pay bills so you both should equally be helping with household duties as well. You deserve self care just like he does. He gets days off and so should you. Household duties would include cleaning of the house, cooking, helping with said child and even making and going to appointments. Good luck!
Yes team work is the answer 100% from everyone in the family.
Things shouldn’t be split it’s both your money and both your chores
He DEFINITELY needs to be helping!!! That’s BS. You can’t do 99% of the house/children while all his time is free.
Teamwork (however that works for BOTH of you) is what makes the world go round.
Maybe you don’t need him for 50% if household stuff. But need him to help with some things. If he can’t be man enough to see and do it, make that man a list until he catches on. If he doesn’t catch on and still refuses, throw the man away 
My husband pays all the bills. My $$ is for whatever I need or help with. I do 99% of inside work. And probably 50% of outside work. But I work from home. With 3 kids at home too.
He comes home after 15hr days and will help finish up dinner messes, get kids ready for bed, put his laundry away, take trash out etc.
Splitting everything 50/50 sounds like something roommates say. Usually, one partner tends to do more than the other. If he won’t help with the chores, tell him you will hire a cleaning company and can split that bill 50/50.
I would approach him the same way he approached you with splitting the bills etc… If he wants everything split then split everything. It won’t change until you change it. Speak up! A closed mouth doesn’t get fed. But this is only my opinion.
2 Likes
I don’t think splitting money in a marriage is a good idea,your supposed to be a team and work together as one. If you both work it’s fair for him to help you with the house chores too.
1 Like
So your HUSBAND says you need to split bills 50 50 that makes no sense at now my husband and I haven’t always had a joint account but when we didn’t we still just each covered whatever bills we could both of our money was OUR money. And yes if he wants to split bills he should be helping with the chores stop doing his dishes and laundry he will bring it up.
2 Likes
Absolutely you can’t put everything on one person it’s not fair to either one of you trust and believe
There is no right answer, so this is just my opinion…be your child’s champion. By keeping a nice home and being there for him is priceless. There is no way to approach the subject without argument…believe me, I tried. Because hubby’s job is physical and yours not, he believes he works harder. So, maybe less focus on a tidy house. Let things be a little messy (not dirty, that is gross). If he comments kindly state that you had to choose for your health and you chose your child. Hopefully he will either step up in one area. It is hard, but always put your child and you first. As for the money…if you are not financially stressed by the arrangement let it be. Again, you are assuring the comfort of your child.
Just tell him straight lv 50/50 means everything. Me and my hubby are both in our 60s and we have an agreement he does most of the cooking and hoovering and i do the shopping and look after the garden, and i must say is looking beautiful,so just be straight xx👍
Marriage is not 50/50! It’s whoever needs help at that moment
I believe anyone who is married should have a joint checking account. The woman does majority of the house cleaning and the man does the outside yard work and anything that needs to be fixed. As for cooking, we both do it.
Yes!! wtf is with men who think they don’t need to help around the house? Even children should do age appropriate chores! Get him off his ass
Send him a bill for his half of chores and child care
I personally don’t understand married couples splitting bills. My husband and I have a joint account where all of our money goes and we pay all of our bills out of it. As far as helping with chores, if he isn’t helping as much as you’d like I would definitely talk to him. He might not realize it. My husband always helps but sometimes I need to ask or remind him to do something because he probably doesn’t see it as needing to be done like I do.
50/50 on bills may work for you both but I’m not exactly a fan. However, you may need to let him know you need help with your child & chores. If you’re going to 50/50 it, then take it all the way I guess.
I went through this … divorced now. I made all the money and was also doing a lot of the housework. I asked hubby to help out with the kids and he accused me of not wanting to spend time with them. Marriage is a partnership and both need to contribute their fair share.
His work is more physically draining on the body. Me and my man both work. I do more of the house work, because his more physical and taxing. I love him and want him take care. I do not complain at all and have kids. We are very happy, no complaining.
2 Likes
It’s 100/100. And if it’s not that then get out and don’t look back
6 Likes
You both should be striving to keep the household afloat, chores and children,
Marriage is not 50/50, 100/100, both giving all they can to be supportive of the marriage
Periodt…
FYI - with this being a public post anyone can see these responses - future employers - anyone - why is this not a private group?
50/50 means 50/50 … not just when he sees fit.
You shouldn’t have to ask a grown man to help keep the house clean that’s ridiculous!
Absolutely 50/50 for everything! Or 50/50 for a maid.
WHEN U SAID I DO IT DIDN’T ? 50 50 IT WAS LOVE.
so you both work it is a pleasure to help each other .
When it comes to the checks they both should go to same account.and take time for her to pay what needs to be paid and balance to savings.
ATM and $,20.00 in his wallet is more then he needs. More money will cost agruements no thrust .
00
Married people put their money all in one pot and pay bills my husband worked long hours still managed to do the outside work I did the inside work no wonder marriages don’t last