You should have the final say who is in the delivery room.
Nope, he could wait in the waiting room if he wanted but he wouldn’t be in the room.
Screw him. I wouldnt even let him know the c section date
Are you certain he is the father? If so, and he agrees to behave properly, I wouldn’t deny him the experience of his child’s birth. It might change his attitude in ways you wouldn’t expect. If nothing, it shows that you are the bigger person and want your child to enter the world with both parents.
I know this will be an unpopular opinion, but since your relationship is over with him, it doesn’t mean your child should never have a relationship with him. Despite what he has said to drive you apart, if he’s expressing interest in being there for the birth, perhaps you should let him. It may turn him around and help him bond with his child. Being a parent is hard… being a single parent is harder… and having to do things you don’t want to do for the sake and well being of your child is the hardest of all. Do what’s best for your baby, not what’s best for you personally.
My child’s father and I are divorced, and I personally can’t stand him, but I’ve bent over backwards to make sure my kid has a relationship with him, despite how irresponsible he is. My kid needs their dad, and they have a relationship due to my efforts, which is what’s best for my child even though it sucks for me.
Unless he has been physically abusive toward you and you fear for your life or your baby’s life, then put your feelings aside, don’t be vindictive, and try to foster a relationship between your baby and his/her father. If he doesn’t make the effort, at least your child will know you did your part, and he will have to take responsibility for his own choices.
If you think it will add stress NO.
Same here. 23 years ago. His family accused me of sleeping around, baby wasn’t his, yada yada. I called him anyway and he showed up. I did not put his name on birth certificate however. My daughter was his twin…so funny. A friend advised to leave him off after his crappy behaviour…I couldn’t win. He ended up leaving town. Most recently he’s connected with our daughter, but the whole thing was a mess. I tried to be cordial to his family after the birth. It was their first grandchild…but it was a shit show. I advise leaving him out.
That would be a hard no. If he is already that toxic, he can ask for a DNA test and visitation. Stay away from the hospital dude. You are not welcome
No! You need support not stress!
Your choice, always. Docs and security will back you up. If it’s going to stress you out, then don’t.
I had the same situation and I let him be in the room because I was 1 million percent positive. And I wanted him to see her first and and feel like a jackass for denying that beautiful baby. And I requested a DNA test before he signed the birth certificate he declined and apologized.
Hell no. That’s your peace dont let him ruin any aspect of it for you. I went thru this 11yrs ago with my 1st daughter. The nurses ended up kicking him out while I had to deliver my baby at 5 months. He called me names, told me it’s my fault, I wasn’t pretty enough, etc. And still to this day hasn’t changed. I cant get back the moment he ruined for me and it hurts. Keep your peace.
if its toxic… than regardless if its theirs, why would you want that person there? You want someone in the room to support you… find someone else.
Another reason to say no is because he might bring stupid people with him to see the baby just to see what the baby look like…since he’s saying the baby is not his…taking pictures and being messy! Nope 🙅
Well if you put it that way… no fucking way
He should be allowed to be at the hospital and see his baby immediately but as for the labor and birth that’s whatever makes you the most comfortable.
Why on Earth would he want to be in there if he claims the baby is not his? He’s just going to add stress. I say a big fat no. Who needs that? Don’t bring that poor baby into a toxic situation on the first day of his life. Your baby is your number one priority! Tell that guy to go fuck off
Very sad question! My advice is have someone to whom you love and loves you in the OR with you! You’re bringing a life into this word! I life that needs protection, guidance , and love!
Why would you do that to your baby, and yourself?
That’s your personal choice
Toxic is enough to say No!
When I gave birth 23 years ago, we were no longer together due to DV & it was a very toxic relationship after the birth (stillbirth) of our first & he was seeing someone else. I moved back home & he still went to Lamaze with me. He was in the room, his mother, however was not. All the hurtful things she was saying about me before giving birth was a breaking point. But do whatever will make you most comfortable. It is your day, no one else’s
Anyone who has the possibility of causing stress to the mother should be nowhere near the birth room. No one has a ‘right’ to be present in the room. It may be the birth of a baby, but it is a major medical event first and the comfort of the mother is paramount.
I know how hard and hurtful it is when a man treats you this way. However the relationship between the 2 of you has no bearing on the relationship between him and his child. I’ve been down this road it was hard but the relationship my son and his father have is amazing and I would never deny my child a parent. I know how hard it is but it was the best choice I’ve ever made.
If the relationship was toxic that’s definitely a NO!!!
I went through the same thing and I told them when I went in to deliver told them his name and said he is not allowed in this room if he showed up.
If you know its his baby then why not ? Yes its your day but you didnt make that baby alone. Id suggest you let him be thete because thats his baby too but immediately after ask him to leave so you can heal and bond with your baby and not feel any kind of negativity. Later on in the years your child will ask why their dad wasnt there when they were born and it isnt worth it to tell them drama got in the way.
If you aren’t comfortable don’t do it. You decide who is there especially if he is denying that it is his.
24 years ago I had a similar situation. He was at the hospital just not allowed in the delivery room. Once our son was born he came in, but every time he was near me, my blood pressure would rise. So just be aware of your health as well before and after
He is toxic. You should have charged him for sex if he denies baby from get go. Do DNA immediately. He stepped up to the plate for sex, let him now step up to the plate for ownership of baby. Bad start for this child and you…he is guilty of something.
No he dont need to be there you got this
This will sound petty but sounds like you’ve been through the past 9 months. He has taken some of the beauty of being pregnant take his part of seeing that baby before you sounds fair. Especially because of his denial.
You want who will be the most supportive during delivery and it sounds like it’s not him so that would be a BIG NO. You will already be nervous and stressed no need to add to it.
You have no obligation to say yes to him under any circumstances. It’s your body and it’s your baby. Damn, he’s not even claiming the baby and trying to separate himself from the responsibility. Good for you knowing your worth. Keep knowing that because you need to have tough love as a mother to do right by yourself and your child. I wouldn’t even invite him to the hospital. Giving birth is such a beautiful and emotional experience. You only do it the one time with this child. Don’t allow anyone to rain on your parade. Keep the peace!
I would say no a toxic relationship adds to the stress of birthing…have your mom go in or another close person
Make him do dna testing! Prove hi wrong.
Why would he want to be there then? If he doesn’t 100% believe you then why?
Not for a minute. If he thinks it’s not his child he should not be in the hospital.
Why would you still want him there?
Hell no. End of topic
If its toxic then dont do it
You tell me it’s not your kid you won’t even know my due date brite him brite all communication would a cut off.
I wouldn’t allow it. That’s a very vulnerable time for you and I would ask your hospital or to allow anyone into the nursery until you are able to see baby first. Tell them you are not comfortable with the possibly alleged father seeing the child until notice from you
I agree with most of the comments here. This will be one of the most important days of your life and giving birth is a very serious time. You should not add extra stress to the equation for any reason. Do only what will make you most comfortable and happy. Many years ago even dads were not allowed in the delivery room.
No don’t let that man in there he will mess up your happy moment fck that no do paternity and handle it like business since he wanna be dumb. He gonna feel stupid when he find out the child is his
I would say yes you should let him in the hospital to see his child be born, a Mother is born when she finds out she is pregnant. A Father is born when he lays eyes on his baby for the first time. Wether you are together or not, that’s going to be his child too. I would say yes and lay ground rules. Let him know not to stress you whatsoever or you will have security show him the door.
Nope. You need to be concerned for you and that baby only.
No. But docs can say no for you to save drama
Everyone here seems so bitter. I would never deprive my child of anything in this life no matter how I felt. I’m gonna let my girls have everyone who loves them in their life. Together or NOT. My babies deserve everything. The quicker you get on board with co parenting and healthy boundaries the better for your child.
You’re only allowed to have 1 person in the room with a C-section. So I would pick a person who is comforting to you.
Having a cesarean can be extremely stressful/emotional. (I just had my 4th and was discharged from the hospital today.) You can only have one person in the OR with you. My advice would be to have someone there that will give u the support you need. For me, that was my fiance. Knowing he was there and holding/squeezing his hand the whole time was comforting to me. You are having a major surgery. Do what is best for you and your child. The father can always see the baby as soon as surgery is over… Prayers for you and your little one.
Don’t let him in… he’s questioning whether he’s the father ??? It’s your baby. Your way. Don’t even consider him
If he wants to say that he is not the father of the child, then why should he be in the OR during the birth?
If he doesn’t think he’s the father, he shouldnt be present. I wouldn’t allow anyone negative into my environment when giving birth. It’s a stressful and if he doesn’t want to 100% support you, why bother? At least have people in there who are supportive
Ummmm… absolutely not is this even a real question
Do ypu really need ask yes or no its no simple
Having a csection is a very stressful thing as it is. Theres alot going on down there. You need someone in that room with you that is going to be there for you. You will be pretty emotional, he can be in the room that they bring the baby into after the OR. If he is questioning whether or not hes the father then he can wait his ass outside. Dont let him ruin a very special moment for you and your baby. Remember your the one having the baby. What you say goes as to who is there and who isnt and dont let a single person make you feel like shit for the choice you make. Good luck
I didn’t let my ex in the room when he tried saying the same dumb stuff, I had my mom there, and I do not regret it, I didn’t want my Sons birth tainted with his negativity and a toxic environment when I was already scared and wanted to be comforted
He is 11 now and I have never regretted it for a moment
You’ll have enough to do giving birth. Ask him to not come and give him the DNA results from the newborn, if he’s the father.
Why does he want to be there if he thinks the baby isn’t his? If he thinks you’re just doing it for child support I’d be concerned for the baby. In today’s world you never know.
Do not let him in.
C sections are high stress, you don’t need him irritating you.
Nah. He can miss out. He thinks not his so after paternity test proves the baby is- he can live with the regret. Sorry not sorry
Hell fuck no…use your brain baby girl…thats a special moment dont let no i aint the father mfer ruin it
Absolutely not! Both you and the baby need people that LOVE you to be in that room. He can visit after the first 24.
Your experience your choice.
No take your sister mum or bestie anyone but that snake
Why would you want him there if he says it isn’t his kid? The answer would be NO!
I have and having him in the delivery room not a good idea
Do what makes you most comfortable… You don’t owe anyone anything
the real question is… do YOU want him there?? thats all that matters… that is your answer…
Why have him there if he denies this baby. To me I see no point in having him there
I would say no even though he is the child’s father he can see the child father if you can see it after it is going and you are feeling better another question I asked him if the baby isn’t his why does he want to be there and if he wants a DNA test I’d make him pay for it
1- your sure he’s the father
2- you can’t separate a father from his child your drama with the dad has nothing to do with the child having a dad in his life
3- dna will prove he’s the father there’s nothing to worry about.
So many women here getting revenge on the dad just because of personal problems between the couple, this is embarrassing.
Nope… I’d not even let him in the wing of the hospital. Cuz you can tell nurses you don’t want anyone to be let in to see you… He dosent think it’s his he doesn’t need to be there. Enjoy your birth relax then have paternity test done.
We don’t have the whole story so commenting no is a bit rude. We don’t know the actual circumstances around their relationship or around their pregnancy. If she is saying that the relationship was toxic because you BOTH argued with each other that’s not a very good reason to prevent him from being there. If there was DV I wouldn’t let him in. If he is the child’s father and she knows that for sure then the child has the right to have both parents there. I’m sure that he isn’t going to argue while your in the hospital and having surgery. Set some rules in place to make sure everything will be calm. I don’t like it when woman think that because they are the mothers that they have more rights then the father. You wouldn’t be pregnant without him and frankly you chose him for your babies father. If he is the father and you don’t have him in the room and your relationship improves then you will regret taking this special occasion away from him. We don’t know if she had cheated on him or not so he might have good reason to have doubts and question whether he is the father or not. Unless you know the whole truthful story then you can’t give a correct answer. But either way I believe we have 50/50 rights when it comes to children.
No way he can stay at home
No what are you thinking
No, ur baby or u do not need that added stress
Sounds to me a female thats not responsible
What ever you feel is ok for you.
Bugger him. He can stay the heck out.
Nope! Too toxic and stressful during such a beautiful occasion…focus on your baby only, and have a person in there with you that SUPPORTS you.
Only think of yourself and baby!
No, the memory of you bringing a child into the world should not be clouded by his negative energy.
Make this about you and the baby. Be blissful and happy.
I didn’t have mine for two csections and he was there for the last one. It was toxic… but I was happy he wasn’t there the first two times. We were on better terms the last time so it wasn’t bad, but I had my mom in the OR every time!
Nope. He can see that baby in the nursery after they’re born. But YOU are the one who decides who is in the room with you.
If you only want the medical staff in there with you; that is your call, and your right.
I’d say let him know when and have him in the waiting room when the baby is born he can come in after you are sorted. If he stresses you out you need to be calm and relaxed. Whatever you are comfortable with but I wouldnt deny him being there to see his baby. Dads need bonding too.
Thinks the baby isn’t his? I’m worried you are even considering letting him anywhere near you! Keep him away. As far as possible.
Ani Ma Ma has the tight answer!!
No, the Drs are there for you and your child’s care, trust them
You just answered your own question.
If he’s willing to be the bigger person and not stress you out, I’d say yes let him be in the room and acknowledge that to him that you’re willing to allow him in the room as long as there’s no confrontation
I let my kids father in and after delivery he called me multiple names and actually started yelling and the nurses had to ask him to leave. If theres any chance it would happen this way, I’d say no
I was in the same situation just it was a premature delivery, and yes, i let him stay during the delivery because i knew it was his child, no regrets, we have an amazing relationship as parents and after all the hard time that we spend together now we are best friends…
Why are you even asking the question? You have the answer yourself… tell him to fk off
Why would you want someone there that says it’s not theirs? Let him go without so you and the baby can feel at ease.
Honestly. No. Don’t do it to yourself momma! (Trans dad speaking)
I carried both of my children. And their father and myself had a VERY toxic relationship.
Out of guilt. I let him there when our son was born. It costed me extra time in the hospital, and a hemorrhage.
For our daughter, it was specifically said by the doctor herself that he was not even so much as allowed on the birthing floor for the entirety of the time we were in the hospital. And after my 6 week check, he met her. Which sounds mean, but, for your health, you have to do what you have to do. Because your baby has nothing without their momma and primary caregiver at their best!
I wouldn’t if he’s accusing you of it being someone else’s. This is the happiest time of your life. I would probably have someone whose close to me and not stressing me out be there. Good luck with the delivery. I’ve had 5 c-sections. You’ve got this! You don’t need that toxic man.
Why would you even consider letting him in ??? Jane doe , sounds good.
Why is this a question? Toxic said it all!
No. Don’t . I made that mistake. This time is for you and that baby. There is time after if needed. He doesn’t deserve or need that time. You go momma. You got this.