Should I ask my daughters father to help cover tuition?

My current husband pays child support, the healthcare, and half of extra curricular activities and we have them half of the time. After that he doesn’t have much left over. So if she would want a private school she would have to take it from what she already gets.

Yes its something good for her he should want her to get everything she can to make her a better person my ex always help with the extras things

Yes I would ask, if he doesn’t then ask court to have him pay half.

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Look into financial aid from the school. See if you qualify. You don’t want dad to offer to pay and then not do it. Talk to the principal about reduced tuition. My son pays all medical, dental, tuition and child support. His daughter is worth it. She’s a good kid.

No, the courts deem this as voluntary. You are choosing this not him. If he requested it then he would be responsible for the tuition. You can request he help pay, or even go to court to request he pay, however more than likely it will not be granted and your responsibility.

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You could ask but if it’s not in the paperwork he doesnt have to.

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Yes yes it’s his responsibility not just child support but all financial care for his daughter he needs to be a man

There is absolutely nothing wrong with asking him as long as you realize he has every right to say no. Especially if he wasn’t part of the decision to send her. Should he help, absolutely…if he’s able. Every situation is different and you know your situation best, so no judgement on either side. I’ve just seen both sides of the situation.

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You can have that reach out to your resources but I’m quite sure the court would require him to pay

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Privates schools can be a way better education than public. I would ask, be prepared to validate your reasons and hear what he thinks. Education is important. If he is not financially able that is one thing, if it comes down to get just doesn’t want to you might want to take it back to court and have a judge decide.

If he’s a good dad to his child he would help out. After all he helped make her. Just cuz he pays support doesn’t mean it covers everything. So yeah I’d expect him to help.

If father agrees great however there are other considerations. It may be more of just a convenience to mom if the child goes to private school rather than a necessity. She could take him back to court and depending on the child support agreement, she could pay lawyers for no change to support, very little increase to support or like a person I know who got a little greedy. She took him to court and because financial circumstances had changed, his child support was not only reduced significantly but she had to pay a ton of lawyer fees

This is kindergarten, this is on you not him. Now I can see if she’s in middle school and to continue the education then you would have that in the divorce decree. If it was me I’d tell you no

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Aside from child support the extra expenses like sitter, school and activities should be split. But also consider the guys situation. If he is earning a lot then maybe you can demand for private school but if not then be considerate. There’s more options.

What does it say about monetary obligations in your paperwork?
If YOU are the only one choosing this school, and you have sole legal ability to choose school it should be on you. You can ask but he may not have to pay. But if you cant afford it he may have to help pay child care for a different school.

If legally you both pay half each for medical, child care, education, then he should have the right to veto the school.

If you are choosing it, then its really on you

the dad has to have a place for his daughter to go for Weekends, Food, toys , clothes and activities money , maybe child support is all he has… private education is very expensive and pre k level is it really necessary. I was a single parent of 4 without any financial help and I had to choice private on grammer school level or high school. the local public schools are very good, not so in all communities. ask if he can help but understand if he can not

Ask the school if they offer scholarships. And yes present it as a great experience for the daughter you share to attend this school

Child support is him helping now you must decide where you want that money to go, however if he is really making a good salary you can always ask, but if he is just barely making it from paycheck to paycheck after paying his child support I suggest you decide where you want it to go

Does your decree not have stipulations laid out for other costs I know a lot of people have extra curricular and school costs written in how they will be divided etc.

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Private school expenses should be shared by both parents. I never had help but I think it’s fair.

My kids get child support and their father is expected to pay 74% of other expenses if we mutually agree to them such as private school and sports costs. Since we both want what is best for our kids I feel this is reasonable. For medical and dental needs it is not negotiable and he has to pay even if we don’t agree because a medical professional decided what the kids need. I have never forced him to pay and he has never offered but all these responses saying child support covers it? I wanna know how much ya’ll are getting because my kids don’t even get enough to buy them groceries much less pay for much of anything they need. Using any of it for any household expenses is a pipe dream. I do it 90% on my own.

Yes ask. He probably won’t help but it never hurts to ask. Maybe you can ask the court to increase his child support

For everyone out there saying dad should cover this cost you are making a LOT of assumptions … First, you assume the public school option is somehow lacking as opposed to school mom wants. Just because its private and expensive doesn’t mean its better or the child will have better extracurriculars. Second, you assume mom can just take dad to court and force him to pay for this. Not sure where you live but where I live judges don’t tend to favor sending kids to private school just because the custodial parent WANTS it. Third, you assume dad has deep pockets and can afford it. Just because he is a man, right? He MUST make more so he should pay just because its convenient to mom? Why? Why doesn’t she move to a new/different/better school district or get a different job closer to the nearest public school? What gives her the right to his wallet for her convenience? As is so common these days, it’s just easier to want what you want and expect someone else to subsidize our choices instead of living with the consequences of our choices. Unreal entitlement here!

There no harm in discussing your daughters education with her dad just be aware that since he already pays child support he is not obligated to also contribute to her education as well but he might appreciate being kept in the loop

You can ask, but don’t be surprised if he says no. Public school is free so he is not obligated to pay for private school so it is convenient for you. Most public schools offer before and after care programs for students too you to be home alone. If the school doesn’t offer it many child care providers are usually around.

If he is paying court ordered child support I doubt that he will volunteer to pay extra. It would be nice if he agrees to help but I sincerely doubt that he will.

I have joint custody with my exhusband, he pays child support and we split all medical, dental, school sports, ect. 50/50.

For those of you who say to take him to court if he says no is actually pretty sad. What if he provides for his kid in different ways besides child support ??? A lot of men live from pay check to pay check and increasing child support is just rude if he’s there for his kid and does the best he can on his part. Plus it was her choice not his. She wants to put her in there then that’s her deal. He probably didn’t say anything because he’s respecting her choices and or she never really asked him. So why increase child support ? I get it he’s the dad but he’s not obligated to pay for it if he isn’t the one who made that choice.

Ur child support goes up when they r older and growing and things r more expensive for them. I would ask the school if they have a help program for people like u…

That’s what child support is for. If it’s convenient or you then you pay or make the child support work for school as well. You can’t expect him to give more money just because it’s convenient for you. What if it’s not in his budget? You can find many decent and really good public schools, you just have to devote the time to researching.

Child support really only covers expenses for the child. Some states do include private schools but not all states. But if you are deciding on the private school then it should be your responsibility not his. The child support should help you some to pay for the school.

My husband didn’t believe in private schools. So I got a part-time job to pay tuition. He then became my ex- husband I used child support to pay tuition.

Child support is usually just enough to help keep a roof over their heads and food in their bellies. Rent, utilities, groceries, gas to get them to and from school takes up the rest. Dad should contribute to sports activities, refinement (music or dance), summer camp, better education, insurance, etc. Child support doesn’t cover all that.

Talk it over with him like an adult, give your reasons why you want her there how much it will be, anything he OFFERS will be considered a gift. (according to C.S.) We mothers always think it should always be 50/50 with up bringing after the split. But the laws and men see it as a money grab that they can not afford. Children are exspensive, if he wants to contribute to her education(which he should after all) then lucky you! Good Luck!

It is an issue you both need to agree on. What is affordable as well as convenient…

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My ex-husband paid child support and was courtrooms ordered to pay half of private school and extra curricular activities…you can’t give a blanket answer in this question. It’s different with each state and situation. Consult an attorney and they can give you the best answer

Certainly you can ask and if he does that’s wonderful. With that said if you cant afford it on your own. I wouldn’t choose that as an option.

Talk to him. Maybe he is willing to help and maybe not. If he is already paying max child support allotment and doesn’t want to pay it will either be all you or public school for your child. It would be nice for your child to go to a nice school that is convenient for you but if there are more cost efficient options and he doesn’t want to pay there is not much you can do about it.

How do u get along most judges would award child support plus half the tuition just like they would medical and daycare

If you told him then he had the chance to respond and offer. She’s still his responsibility too and should help pay.

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This should be solely about what is most beneficial for the child. What are the pros and cons of this school vs other school? Private school isn’t cheap and not everyone can afford it even if it’s only half the cost.

Here is the key word in the whole thing…convenient… how many parents have to do the inconvenient thing because it is right or the only thing they can do? No one said parenting was going to be easy, simple or convenient. If you want a private school that is on you. If you can afford it, go for it, but do not expect the other parent to pay extra for your convenience.

You need to be putting the child support toward that expense of its something you’re done for your own “convenience”. If he chooses to help, great. If not, you don’t have a right to be mad.

Yes, if he says no take it back to court. In your parenting plan it should say something about covering school costs, and extra curricular activities.

Of course. He may not agree, but asking with conversation is the best way to start.

Yes it is ok to ask but be prepared for him to say no and court to agree. I depends on how much child support

Yes, you should ask him. He is her father, and should feel responsible to provide her with the best education he can. I think women nowadays let their exes get away with too much.
I would sit down, calmly, and ask him if he doesn’t want his daughter to be well educated, and do better than the both of you have done.
Of course, if he really thought of her, he would have tried to get along with you, and make an intact
family. But that’s not the way nowadays, either.

No matter what anyone says…but in how the state sees it , child support is to cover only the basic needs the child, such as food, shelter and clothing. School and medical are supposed the be split by both parents. If you choose to send your child to private school and the other parent doesn’t help with education expenses you can ( if you want to ) take then to court to pay expenses.

Thought that is what (in part) the “support” is for. And YES I finally got my support when my son was in jr high. It was “court ordered” when he was 5.

If he is paying Child support then I don’t see how you can ask him to pay for tuition when there is public school thats free. Don’t get me wrong I think it’s great you want to give her the best education you can but Im not so sure it’s fair to expect him to pay out more. Ask him if he can for sure but to expect I personally think it would be unfair

Here my thought is yes the father should have to help my very close friend pay child support on her son but any other expensive like work related daycare expenses school are supposed to be spilt in half so not only does she pay child support she has to cover like 1/2the co pay for doctor visits 1/2 the daycare cost etc all that on top of child support so why shouldn’t he have pay at least half the cost of tuition the public school system isnt that great anymore she trying make she her child get the best education all school are not equal

I would ask him. The worst that could happen is he says no. You could also file to change the child support. Technically it goes off of both your incomes as well as the child expenses so if the expenses go up and the he is making enough money to help with that increase than the support owed should go up as well. However, if this is something you cannot afford on your own than dont do it! Anything can happen and even if he does agree or its affordable because of child support he may lose his job or have a financial issue that causes that child support to end. Just because its owed to you does not mean you will recieve it.

I would have that conversation with him before even enrolling the child. Allow him do be a part of the decision and explain your reasoning when you ask.

The question was, would it be okay to ask him to help with tuition if he already pays child support? Not was he obligated to do it, which is what a lot of people are commenting about. Yes, you can ask him to help out. You guys have a child. You both want the best for her. If he doesn’t want to help pay for it and you can’t afford it without help see if there is a compromise, if he’s willing to help pick up or drop off from a different school, etc. It is completely reasonable for you to ask for help with your daughters tuition. Public school is also expensive, asking the other parent of your child to do something for said child is reasonable. And for some people commenting rudely, it seems from this post that her daughter mainly stays with her. That she is the full time parent. Which means she needs to be able to go to work to make money to provide for her daughter. Private schools are open later for pick up times. If she’s the only one dropping off and picking up, then she needs for it to align with her work schedule. Personally, my parents weren’t together but my dad and mom went back and forth helping each other pay for things to support me. Even the non necessity items. It was never unreasonable because it was good for me. Just ask, you got this

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Use some of the child support towards the tuition. It would still be him paying for it.

Depends in the parental agreement both parents pay 50%. How ever it would have to be brought before the courts and the courts would take in consideration since this is your choice and not really his. There is more questions to be awnsered like visitations with dad are they 50 50 would he be dropping her off at this school. Dads have a say as well if they have 50 50.

If you guys have joint custody and it says all obligations are joint then he should have to pay half of tuition. Even if he pays child support

Yes. Child support does not cover extras but on the other hand, he should not be required to help. But hopefully he will

You can ask, dont think he HAS too considering private schools can cost quite a bit. If it really is the only convenient school be sure to ask for a percentage and go through the court. The court can deny the proposal bc it is a private school.

Situations like this make me so grateful my son’s father and I are on excellent terms and he pays childsupport a week early.

You can take him back to court and the judge can reconsider if you add tuition into your finances. In most states you can take your ex back to adjust child support. Be sure to add in any sports fees or daycare also. He doesn’t have a choice whether you do this or not. Seek legal advice and ask to do an adjustment to your child support.

Doesn’t hurt to ask. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind bc it’s for the best for his daughter and if he truly loves his daughter he’ll do whatever it takes to give his daughter the best.

You should both try to do what’s best for your child.:two_hearts:

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Depends how much he pays already and they don’t make the father pay half sports mass or schooling they consider those choices . But maybe he’s willing

You can ask him, of course. But without a court order, he is not obligated to do anything. Just because it’s convenient for YOU doesn’t mean he should have to pay.

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And, I really don’t like the attitude that this is only convenient to the mother. Anything that is convenient to the mother, when it involves the child, is convenient for the child, as well. Child’s school. Without child, mom would not have to worry about work and school being convenient. She’s the one who has her during these hours, I assume. He should help. I bet most of u commenting on the other side are the new wives and don’t like the child support going out the door to the previous family.

Yes ask if he declines you can have your child support reviewed due to cost of school

You can certainly ask him. He may say no because he is paying child support. Dont make it a battle. Cut a few corners to put her in the school you want.

Maybe you can use half of the child support for school and half for what she needs

You’re lucky a lot of men don’t pay child support but if he has it and can afford it I’m sure he wants the best for his child

if he has another family and more kids he wont be able to help, if hes paying child support its all you are entitled to

The most important thing you can do is talk to the other parent. Private School is not a necessity it is a want.
Both parents should have a say so on what the future entails for them financially and with their child’s education. If you both agree that private school is the best choice, then both of you have a financial responsibility to make that happen. If one disagrees with the other parent on what is best, then the parent who insist on having the child in Private School assumes financial responsibility. If that is you, then you have to make sure that you can financially handle that on your own. You will then need to ask yourself… With the help of the child support that you receive and your income will you be able to afford it on your own? If you can then go for it! If not then set a goal for yourself to make it happen! Good Luck momma! :hugs:

Dont count on help. You will hear “thsts what the child support is for”. You need to ask the school if they have any scholarships available. Sounds crazy for pre school but it is a thing they just dont advertise it. The same goes for other extra activities like dance and sports and gymnastics also church camps and other summer or any camps.

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If you had only thought ahead to your child’s education when settling the child support there would be no question…so first I would come right out and ask him…if he refuses, probably your only re-course would be to go back to court…however, that could be touchy if presently you are on good terms…actually that to me would be more important than additional support to
help on tuition…the main thing is to keep peace for the sake of the child…

not being able to afford a private education doesn’t make a bad parent.

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Me being the man in the situation and if i can afford it or make a way and still support what i have going on on my end i would because say this woman knows your income after you and her have parted ways and wants to ask but who is to say in the near future she finds someone and isnt being truthful. I dont know. I want my children to get an education so they can support themselves.

Maybe check out a great public school in your area. Schools are what your child puts into it.

Before enrolling her in a private school you and her father should discuss it and make a decision together. If you do not want to include him in this decision, then you should pay for it yourself.

Depends how much child support he pays.

There are so many Different circumstances for single moms. But I will tell you, it drives me crazy when I see women say oh he pays child support, spend it out of that. The amount of child support I get from my daughters dad Wouldn’t even pay for her food monthly. He makes double what I do. I used to beg him to see her. I used to make so many excuses for him. Any time i asked for anything extra for so much as a pair of shoes because child support covers next to nothing he wants sex. He had never wanted anything to do with her but would always want something from me if i needed something for her. I have next to no help. If it weren’t for the few people in my life that helped, I have no idea what I’d do. I get up at 5 am and get my girls ready for school and sometimes don’t get home until 9 at night. I don’t date, i don’t go out, i work and spend time with my girls. That’s it. He spends his money on alcohol, and video games. All if it. He also never sees her. So i feel like if I need to put her in private school so she gets a good education. He can pay half. Or he can kick out a few extra dollars every now and then for something she needs without me having to exchange it for sex. It took me six months of having to give into his demands when we split to go to court and have a meeting of minds for child support without having to give him everything he wanted. I’m sorry but this just hit a nerve with me. My kids are my life and 400 dollars a month is NOTHING CLOSE to what it takes to raise a child as a single mom. And i get alot more than some moms do. I just feel like if he contributes in absolutely no way than the child support monthly, it’s his child too. He wanted her then did something extremely stupid to lose her and I. So it shouldn’t be a problem for him to help a little more. Mind you I have not taken him back to court either since he got almost double his salary.

It doesn’t hurt to ask.
Prayers it all works out.
Maybe he would want to pay his part directly to the school if he chooses to help.

If Dad is remarried or living with someone else it would be hard for him. A private school is not always best.

Don’t know how your court system works, but in some cases, even though child support is being paid, a court will also have both parents split tuition and daycare cost. You can ask him, but if he refuses can see if the courts can order it, or in some cases there are Angel funds to help with it.

Doesn’t hurt to ask and explain to him why you want her to go to that particular school how she will benefit from it.

:thinking::thinking::thinking: you could talk to him and ask, but if he think his support should cover that, don’t get bent out of shape at him. I’ve never had to deal with anything remotely close to this. If you have a good relation ship with him , you don’t want to mess that up. But again I’ve never had to deal with it

Talk to your laser first then ask for him to assist with her tuition if he says no and his earnings are sufficient take him back to court and have the judge order it above child support

It all depends on your parenting plan. Mine allowed me to make those decisions, he just had to cover half the cost. Most of the time private school would have to be agreed on and the court would figure out who owes what. But be sure you can cover it bc you dont want your daughter kicked out for failure to pay

I think you should start by asking him to help for the first couple of years like to 1st grade. Maybe once he sees what a great school it is, he will be more willing to help longer, and put her needs first.

Some of you act like she’s asking for a million bucks. All she wants is to make sure her daughter gets a good education. Child support helps but I assure you what she makes for wages goes a long way to pay for her daughters upkeep. Clothes. Shoes, school supplies, food, roof over her head, transportation, I know been there done that with only support when he filed his taxes. So yes ask nicely and explain you want her to go to a good school maybe he will help I hope so.

I was always told that child support is to put a roof over their head, food on the table, and clothes and shoes on them. All the extras like school, extra activities, things they have to purchase if they do extra activities, College, and things like that are all extra and should be split by both parents. Mine never gave me any extra money for all that kind of stuff I had to pay for all that myself. And that’s why he’s living a better life than I am right now. Because he was always selfish and about himself

U should include him in the entire process if u would hope for him to help pay for anything. Just bring up the idea that u would like to put her in pre-k and ask him to help u find some and go look at them either together or separately. Then u guys can come up with the place that works best. If he is included in the entire process he will get the prices from them, not u, and more likely to help pay. If he is not willing to pay for anything then u put her where u want her to go, whatever is convenient for u.

I would talk to him about it and see what he says. He maybe all for it but he also may not be able to afford it.

Hunny your choice for private school, your choice your dime,he’s paying child support (court ordered at that) good luck. Been there done that!

Technically the child support covers that. But if it’s not enough there’s no reason not to ask. My brother pays child support and pays more for music dance sports etc. child support doesn’t pay enough to really support a child

Depends on whether the court ordered him to pay half of medical bills, schooling, etc. Good luck!

Support is supposed to as judge orders cover 1/2 of the child’s things, activities, cloths, ect.

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Since you mention close to your work and your home you made that decision. However, I would have included him in the discussion before making the decision if you are unable to afford solely in your own which apparently you are since you decided to do it without first speaking to him. What he can afford to do is another matter and consideration

The fun fact about court ordered child support is, child care costs are not party to… even if he denies he is still required to pay half the expense of child care. That is not what child support is for. Child support is for housing and bills that need to be paid to keep a roof over the child’s head and keep the power on plus extras like birthday parties etc. childcare does not fall in that category. If he refuses, you just submit those receipts for tuition paid to the courts and you will get it returned to you through child support

I would ask, but respect what ever decision he makes.

Check your court order it may say he has to pay half of any other expenses such as schooling and medical costs. I know mine has a part towards the end about it. Good luck :blush:

U didn’t have her by yourself ,he should go half on EVERYTHING for her , that’s what real fathers do .