Why would you do that?
Wouldn’t it be better to talk to them and see if u can help them? Rather than possibly out the kids in a WORSE situation ? WTH is wrong with u people?
I mean make a effort to try and be a decent human being rather than rip a damn family apart…
Human race makes me sick.
Talk to them. Go clean it up and show them how it could be. Youre the parent. Take on the man, take on his kids and grandkids as your own. What would you do for your children? They are family. Support them.
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You wanna call cps but you go pick your own child up from there? Gtfoh, why is it ok for your child to be there but you wanna risk the other kids being taken from there? Pick a lane and stay in it lady, you sound like you might need a welfare check too if you think your above them. Seriously wtf
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I wouldn’t let my daughter be there
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I’d ask daughter some questions , then I’d talk to the ex first, and voice my opinion
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Maybe talking to the ex about the situation would be a better thing to do. Offer a helping hand with the house and offer to babysit the lil one. There are so many things that can be done besides being a cop caller
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4 year old outside untended.
That’s unacceptable.
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I’d be more worried about my own child than theirs. That’s coparenting-focusing on the child and not what the other parent has got going on-however if you TRULY think that child is in danger I’d start by calling the police next time he’s out there alone.
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They won’t do anything unless there is evidence of abuse.
My sons played outside alone at 4yo I could hear and see them from within. Deputy was called and he came and said the only reason why he came was because it was report my son was naked in the mud well he wasn’t he wasn’t in the mud at all and all 5 kids were in and out of the house. I asked if CPS would be coming and he said nope that they wouldn’t do anything.
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You have to do what’s right by the kids, they deserve better then that
Hmm I’d talk to them first honestly……
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Absolutely! a four year old should not be left ANYWHERE unattended!! the cleanliness of the house is a big issue that needs to be addressed as well. don’t waste your time trying to talk to them it will only fall on deaf ears. let CPS address the issues with them
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No I won’t call no one on them
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Why are you letting your own child go there if it is as dirty as you say? Tell your ex “while his place is a pigsty, your daughter is not going there” Hopefully he will tidy it up a bit for his daughter sake
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Yes!!! Abs call, that little one could be hit by a car or kidnapped
Can’t be that bad if you let your daughter go & stay there 
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I would talk to her first then get custody of your son the rest is up to her but cps is not your answer
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There is a lot not mentioned in this… first calling cps on them when you let your shared child be there is questionable. Kids wonder, they leave the kid out there or do they bring him back in, is the property gated also you know if you were to call cps you would also put your kid in the system if they where to get a case.
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Report it before its to late
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Oh look, yet another one trying to cause trouble for her ex because he’s moved on with his life.
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Ask him about your concerns first
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Not sure what CPS is like where you live. Here, unless the child is starving or injured, they won’t do anything as there are kids in more dire straits they have to deal with.
Will it cause resentment and bad behavior on your ex’s part if he gets mad you called on him?
I’d talk to the ex and his live-in family members about ways to have a cleaner house & how to prioritize what to clean. Can the ex afford a cleaning service?
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I have not been a CPS worker but have plenty of mandated reporter training. The first thing I always told my staff if you have an inkling of abuse it is your responsibility to report and CPS has the responsibility to investigate. That being said, they don’t usually investigate dirty homes and they will ask you about all the people in the household and your child will need to be included. The question then might be why do you allow your child there if it is unsafe?
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Maybe talk to them first see if everything ok xx
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Why not talk to them first ?
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I agree with Kasey because if you call cps first you will also be assessed because you are allowing your child to stay in what you class as poor conditions and therefore your capacity to protect would also be questioned. CPS have an incredibly scary amount of power so it’s best to try to talk to your ex and his partner, voice your concerns and see if you can all work together
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No I’d address the concerns with him first and give him a timeframe to get it under control. If he doesnt? Call.
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Yea I’d call, especially if you have a court order that makes your daughter have to live there.
If you were that concerned you would stop your daughter from going over if the living conditions were that disgusting 
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I wouldn’t even allow my kids to go there!!
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Should I call CPS on my ex? - Mamas Uncut
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I would talk to your ex first. Keep the government out of it as long as you can. Do they have mental health issues?
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Definitely try a conversation first. Then, if that doesn’t help at all, call. You guys, she may have a court order. And if her daughter is older then just bc a 4 year old is in danger doesn’t exactly mean her daughter is. There’s things my 10 year old can do that my 4 year old obviously can’t alone
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I had that happen to my ex house, unfortunately they were going through hard times. I stepped in, and talk to both adults. You know what i did? , I helped them clean and leave the house nice. You never know what they are going through, a little help could always change someone’s day. We all have bad days. I would say talk to them first and see whats going on. If that continues then definitely do not let your daughter go over.
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Sounds like it’s a full house so messy seems normal. I always think communication is best unless of course abuse is suspected I would try to handle it with him. Calling cps will just hurt your daughter and may cause resentment.
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If you believe your child is endangered… Y would you allow it to continue
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I would address the issue to them directly.
It’s sad and weird to me that people would be okay with living in such dirty conditions with a bunch of animals but that doesn’t mean they don’t take care of their kids? We’ve went through something similar with my step daughters mom and I would never in a million years do that to her or her kids. But we have made her aware it bothered us and it did get better!
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It’s life its happens talk to them about your concerns before calling cps on them I’ve deal with cps and it will break that family apart and cause problems that aren’t even there! Now I raised 3 kids on my own ! your no better then them you still go and send your kid there knowing damn well on how it looks and why not offer to help with cleaning and etc if it bothers you that much
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If you are concerned due to the cleanliness of the home Id recommend offering to help first. I recently went threw something similar with my brother, i told both he and his gf that there house is unhealth and it breaks my heart knowing that my neice as well as both of them are living in it. I went over there and deep cleaned the kitchen while my brother tackled the other main living area. I supported them through it and offered help to prevent it getting worse. I then also informed the girlfriends family of the situation also (this didnt go over well but i didnt care the families needed to know) we all helped. They are doing much better now and keeping up on it. But i did let them know if it was a continuing problem i would have to go more drastic routes. Sometime messes are overwhelming and i let my house go at times when im depressed. Doesnt make me a bad parent, doesnt make them one either. So before calling cps ask yourself what would you want done if the roles were reversed?
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Some of y’all haven’t had an experience in foster care and it shows 
I wish the worst of my life was a dirty house, playing outside alone and lots of animals
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I kept my daughter from my ex for months because I was not comfortable with him having her, ended up with full custody. He was not fit to be a father. If you don’t feel like your baby is safe there, keep her with you & report it to CPS!! Edit to add im a law student and I’m here to tell you, as long as you’re acting in the best interest of the child, they won’t hold it against you.
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All these ppl talking about CPS … God forbid someone calls on you… I’m a single mother of 5 and that’s not an excuse to be living such filth. My house is cleaner than folks with no kids but fact the matter is. This exactly why I stay to myself and I don’t let anyone’s around my personal space and/or children. I would punch someone in their cocksucking mouth ever try something like that… I don’t play about my kids FUCK CPS. They are the REAL child traffickers. And exactly why we stay out of other people’s homes as well … people don’t appreciate a BIG FAMILY
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I would confront it with the parents. Also ask yourself would the child really be better off in a foster home? Some people arent the cleanest doesnt mean the child isnt loved or taken care of. CPS really shouldnt be called unless a child is being abused or neglected.
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I would address your concerns with your child’s father.
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Yep! 100% I would even if it ends up being nothing or a way to give them resources to help.
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TALK TO THEM!!! ONCE CPS IS IN YOUR LIFE THEY NEVER LEAVE! Don’t put the children through more than needed. Why don’t you offer to help them?
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she was asking a question because she’s a concerned mom who doesn’t know what to do. she wasn’t looking for bashful comments. y’all seriously need to be more respectful like it was a damn question.
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I think that should be last resort try everything you can before you resort to that. Tell them you heard someone’s thinking of calling and maybe they’ll do better
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If their is not animal feces everywhere if the animals are not mean if the kids are still being treated like a kid should be no way in hell. Coming from a foster kid from the age 12 to 18 yrs old who just wanted to be with her mother bc the foster homes were 10x worse and terrifying. Dealing with abuse & neglect when I had a mother who loved me… you don’t just call cps unless a child is actually in danger or being harmed.
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But yet you send your child there
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As a mother whose had CPS called when absolutely nothing was wrong in our household… I’d say talk to them first. If you don’t see a change, then yes. But definitely give them the opportunity to fix what needs to be done before handing control of their family over to the courts.
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No I would not. If the children had food, clothes, a bed, running water, heat/a.c. and not being abused then i would not want to ruin those childrens lives by involving cps into their lives causing them lifelong trauma. Obviously these things aren’t an issue if you are letting your child be there as well. And if it is happening and your letting your child go there in those conditions then someone should call cps on you for allowing your child to be there knowing that’s the case.
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So if the house looks like this and you notice this every time… why do you let the child you have together continue to go?
If it’s in the agreement for custody you could voice your concerns that way.
Because it’s going to be a case reflecting the child you have together unless that’s what you want so your child doesn’t have to go over there anymore
Because I’m not sure what age had to do with this
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If it is that bad why are you allowing your child to go?
Is it a real endangerment issue or just you being petty…? 
Being generally “messy” and having animals doesn’t equal abuse or neglect.
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Cps more than half the time dont do shit!!! And WHY?? DO YOU LET YOUR CHILD OVER THERE IF YOUR THINKING OF CALLING CPS? communicate like a normal adult let your worries be known and if nothing changes STOP SENDING YOUR CHILD OVER THERE! and he wont be seeing her until shit changes!
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I’d sit down with them. Tell them your worried and if continues your child will not be going back till things are fixed. And If things don’t turn around then involve the service. More or less your turning yourself in as well for sending your own kid too.
But commend ya for being co-parents and all but your also in the hot seat as well. Guys need to be on the same page
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I would consider having an adult conversation with them about your concerns before involving anyone outside. If that doesn’t improve the situation, and you feel that strongly about their living conditions and the safety of the small children, then yes, make a report.
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Cps does not care about filth. As long as there is food and a place for them to sleep. CPS will never do anything.
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I wouldnt necessarily call cps, I’d call local law enforcement and request a welfare check
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Sounds bad but not your kid not your problem as long as they have food, a place to sleep in a warm bed and no abuse is happening let it be.
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No, if you’re civil with eachother, offer them help or just see if you can speak to your ex without sounding judgmental. You never know what they’re going through, do what you can to make sure your child can have a relationship with their dad and help where you can xx
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If they look like they are being neglected then yes I would. There is no sense in a house being nasty like that and a 4 year old has no business outside alone especially these days!
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I’m a big fan of mind your own business. The world would be a better place if people minded their own business and quit poking bears and adding salt to wounds
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Your not too concerned if your still dropping yours off. Are the other kids fed are they injured. Some people are just junkie by nature as long as the kids aren’t nasty. Have you ever said anything about the four year old being outside alone.
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Why do you send your child somewhere you’re worried about another child? Why not just ask…?
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Why do you send your daughter to a place like that? If you call, you should be calling on yourself as well!
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If you said your concerned than what’s the question here? Just call. Your daughter is there as well mama no questions asked call.
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If you fear your daughter is being mistreated or neglected in any way while she is there, then yes I would. But PLEASE keep in mind, if CPS does get involved, he will not be the only one they look into so prepare to have yourself, your home & your daughters well-being while in your care checked into as well.
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I cannot believe some of these comments here. 1, why does she continue to send her kid there? It isn’t easy because it could make her look bad and she could lose custody.
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Not her job to clean her ex’s house. She has her own house. And her ex is a grown man. Theres compassion and then there’s boundaries. He’s responsible for providing a sanitary house.
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Not appropriate for a 4 yr old to be wandering alone.
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Depends on cleanliness. I don’t get the impression it means things out of place or a full house. If animal feces are not cleaned up or certain messes are not cleaned up, it can be unsanitary and unsafe.
I sense a lot of judgmental attitudes. My advice is to first have a talk with the ex about her concerns. Calling cps is the last resort. But find out what’s going on. Don’t ignore instincts.
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I would first ask the other parent and express your concerns. If no action is taken I would document everything you see when you go. If it continues and nothing is done then Welfare check, and if they ask you provide your documentation.
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Myself I would talk with them firstly instead of straight away calling that’s my opinion because some people will take your advice and words on board if they don’t then yes
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Do they have food? Yes. Do they have clothes? Yes. Do they have shelter? Yes. Are they being physically, sexually, or emotionally abused? No. Then mind your own business. Everyone needs to stop threatening CPS just cuz someone else’s parenting styles are different than their own. Good grief!
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Absolutely not. It was done to me and im a great mom. That house is alarming, but dont do that yet. U may not know all the details
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If you are truly concerned than yes call but maybe talk to him first 
homes are usually lived in so mess I could see as long as it’s not filth but the kids being outside alone I would be more concerned about especially with that many adults in the home 
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Depends… is it actually dirty, unsanitary, unhealthy to live in or is it just messy? Also I dont know about CPS but in Canada our children service is FACS and if u report to them it’s not anonymous and they will tell the person who called.
Now, if you feel like your child is unsafe there then you should deal with that seperately…verbally, in court…or whichever way is better for your situation.
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You should talk to him about the child. You never know what they are going through! That child may have a disability like autism that makes him need to be outside and in his own space! My autistic child plays outside most days alone Bc that is what he needs!
I would If living conditions are horrible pet fences and dirt can cause illness I would if I where you I never says yess to call but if you feel daughter and the other little ones aren’t save your duty as a momma to. Call
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Treat others the way you want to be treated. Both your Ex. And the children. Kids have no voice sometimes - but… are they better off with strangers in a group/foster home (might be… but something to think about).
Talk to them. Voice concerns. If you think kids are in danger you have no choice. Kids are priority.
Yes I would. It’s better to know they’re safe than God forbid something bad happen and you know you could have called. It’s just about the kids safety
I work in child welfare-
If you feel that child is being neglected or abused, call in a hotline. Let investigators make the decision!
I can tell you environmental neglect and no supervision for a child that is 4 is a big deal! That is neglect.
Obviously, you feel it’s a problem because you made this post! 
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Your MAIN CONCERN SHOUD BE YOUR CHILD. Quit exposing her to environments that are unhealthy.
There is always TWO SIDES …it looks yucky looking in but she prolly has a good enough excuse…for the pig stye environment. Also, If you must seek the authorities for help, then go ahead and ask for them to do a “welfare check”. NOT CPS.
I cant stand when the first thing someone thinks of is cps. Please realize unless they are in immediate danger CPS can do more damage than good. Try talking to them like a grown woman. So many children get removed for reasons that are not even close to legit and end up in a foster home, where bad things have happened. If you are that concerned, first I wouldnt allow my child to go there, then I would tell them how you feel and that you are worried. Cps in my opinion are just child traffickers whom dont really care about what’s best for the child!
I’d voice concerns with the dad and if nothing is done then yes turn them in. In most cases, if CPS gets involved and kids are taken away, they are usually placed with family first (at least in my state in most cases). If someone else calls cps and you don’t call, your just as guilty for letting it happen. I lived in filth for 12 yrs of my life growing up and I wish I would’ve been taken away and placed with my aunt. It was like a hoarder situation.
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Depends how dirty. There’s a difference between dirty and messy and sometimes a dirty house is NOT an appropriate place for a child. Is there any neglect going on? Does he wander out for a second then they go get him or do they just leave him out there without caring?? Kids do things all the time and it’s no uncommon for a toddler to wander out sometimes. It really depends on the situation. You let your daughter go there so I’m assuming it’s not awful to the point where you won’t let her there… if your truly concerned maybe try talking to them about it if you have an okay relationship with them. And if it is bad enough for you to think you need to call cps then stop letting your daughter go there for her own safety.
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Do what you feel is right … as long as you’re not doing it out of spite
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I’d sit down and have a talk first and express your concern for all of the children. If after that nothing changes, then yes I absolutely would.
If it were me I would watch the house a few times and talk to my child about the situation. If I felt any child was in danger I would not allow my child to go and would go to court with proof of why and call CPS. If the house is filthy and they are neglected but not in danger I would try to educate them and ask the court for visitation to be outside the home at a safe place. Good luck
Cps is for children IN DANGER not because someones house is a mess or any other thing that requires a adult conversation and maybe a little empathy
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I’m going to try and go through this bit by bit . There’s so many reason for that house to be unclean is it messy or dirty?
Are you sure the 4 year old is outside by herself all the time or does it just seem long period of time by what a kid dete3mines a long time? Is this a gated backyard?
Lastly… I wouldnt ever call CPS unless that was the last option.
Try talking to them first.
Who cares if the house is messy. Even if there is an infestation , houses can get cleaned and etc. Just be a human being and talk to him. You have no idea what battles have to go through in daily basis. Being a messy person doesn’t make someone a crappy parent 
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I think I commented on this but I do have something to add. I know someone who got reported and the authorities came, told her that everyone with kids has a dirty house and there was no problem. Then she proceeded to tell who was the one who reported it. So the best you can do is keep your own child home but even then, he is her father and can get a visitation ruling in the courts. It’s hard to beat the system and we all see things that are not right but legally you need a lot of proof of a child being in danger before you can get anything done.
Everyone questioning why her child still goes over there… have you ever dealt with court ordered visitation??? If mom defies the court order & ends up in jail for contempt of court, then the child literally has to LIVE in that filth with the ex. She needs proof & a judge’s permission first before the courts will call of the visitations. 
Yes. If you can document the last several times that you dropped your daughter off and saw the 4 yo unsupervised outside, I think that would give CPS a starting place.
I would talk to him about it first kindly and let him know how you feel and let him know you won’t allow your daughter to not longer go over there if the house is like that. But I don’t agree with the others about you stepping up and help clean the house when he has his other two kids there who are old enough to be helping out, and one of them that has kids of their own, they should be the ones helping out, not you, so I would mention to your ex not only should he be the one to start changing things and keeping the house a much cleaner and safer environment, but them other two can help too. If it comes down to where the house is still in poor condition, stop letting her go over there and then maybe check into calling the police for a welfare check and then go from there. Don’t get CPS involved if you don’t need too.
They won’t do shit. Never do. Then next thing you know your ex will be all pissed off at you and it’ll just complicate your life. I wouldn’t unless the kid is truly in danger and they will see it when cps goes to visit.
Maybe call for a welfare check…
cps wont do anything unless they see a child by themselves. They dont care if a house is dirty. They just have to have food, and beds.
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- I’d have a conversation with the dad about the 4 year old escaping. See if they have safeguards in place to prevent it. Offer to help to get some arranged…I mean. You ARE sending your kid over there too.
- Define pig-sty. Is it cluttered because they just lack organizational skills, or is it legit trash/anim waste that could cause illness or harm? Again, offer to help out since you’re also sending your kiddo over there.
Girl mind your business and don’t send your kid there. Let him take you to court and then it would be more appropriate to answer truthfully why you don’t allow your child to go there. Calling CPS can appear vindictive. As a Guardian ad Litem that could result in those kids being removed because one kid likes being outdoors more than the others. 
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