CPS doesn’t just take kids away. That’s not their intent. They work on helping families and reunifying. Calling might be just what this mama needs. They can get her into parenting classes or even addiction classes if need be. They can get her a car seat. She may be worried about not having insurance which they can assist her in the steps for that as well. All while not losing custody of her child if she follows the steps. You have tried speaking with her and now the safety of the child is in question especially if it is a medical issue. Too many people saying “oh I smoke and my kid is fine” or “it’s RSV”… none of these people would feel responsible if anything were to happen to this child like you would.
Good luck love.
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If you are certain it’s a serious issue. I would carefully navigate this. I would express the desire to help her. Let her know that it’s no problem for you to take the baby to the doctor. Have her write a note and sign something giving you permission to take the baby to the doctor. Take him to the ER and explain the symptoms and your concerns. Let them make any reports if necessary. Taking you out of that quandary. They will know what to do. However when you start pushing issues that can impact someone as a parent it can be a serious issue. She may not be deliberately doing anything that causes harm to him, however negligence is not acceptable either. If she can’t see her neglect don’t be surprised if she doesn’t have the maturity to not lash out at you for interfering if it turns negative for her. So be very careful. Mindful of this child, but also mindful of her and gently help her get to a better mindset.
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I definitely think they need help, but I’d start with a heart to heart with mom. What if you do report and it doesn’t get the attention it deserves and she knows you reported and puts that baby in a worse situation. Just try and show her the ropes, friend her and go from there
I smoke
(not around my kids at all!) That doesn’t make someone a bad parent gosh
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As a childcare provider…it’s your responsibility to put that child first…parent second. I would call DCS. She may need extra help that they can assist her on.
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It’s about him not her. You can take him like that lady said to your first responders and have them check him. But don’t hesitate anymore because the more you do the worse he can get. God Bless you and I will say a prayer for you and this whole situation that God will give you the peace and the answers you need and guide you .
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You need to report it.
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Do not call DCS
As a survivor of foster care and I say survivor because kids are not better off in the system some of the foster homes are worse then the actual homes they are raised in and come from … the best chance for a baby to find a new good home unfortunately is private adoption or being adopted out the gate as an infant … and even then the choices aren’t great … so what you feel you gotta do both choices suck … leave baby with mom or tear him away from his blood and hope he has good odds at finding a decent family. It’s a gamble for sure. 9/10 homes I was in were all sick demented and abusive and I was a little child. Sit down with this child’s mother offer to help her and the baby if you truly care as much as you say … she said she has no clue what she’s doing so show her help her… if the baby is having breathing problems on your watch definitely take him to the hospital …let the mother know you have an emergency and are taking him …
Report it. If anything maybe they can guide the mom. I would call that’s a innocent baby with no voice.
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Call the police next time he is there. They have the authority to take him to the hospital and will contact the relevant agencies
I think you should take the child to the ER to be checked and definitely tell them what you have seen and tell the mum you are there to help her ( if that’s something you want to do)
Child’s safety comes first no matter mums situation baby always comes first please be that child’s advocate
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Before anyone calls cps you really need to talk to her about your concerns. If she’s a first time mom and doesn’t have any help or support, maybe what she needs is to know that someone is there to help and not to throw the book at her for what you think is wrong! You can’t tell her what to do around her own child! If your that against what she’s doing in her spare time, simply stop watching the child. But you really don’t have a reason to call cps and it’s not your business to take another woman’s baby to the dr. Smh this is why daycares and in home providers get such back lash bc of ones like you! Don’t be so quick to jump the gun just bc she’s not raising her child to your standards. She’s a first time mom, maybe she just got this job and is doing her best to make ends meet while doing the best she can for her child. Only God can judge, and you aren’t God!
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Mind your own dam business!!!
Everything isnt always what it seems.
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I’d call if it was me. Maybe they’ll be able to get the mom help with clothing, food and medical care. A child’s safety comes first above all else!
Smoking is not a reason to call CPS on someone. You said she just moved there, she’s a single mom so maybe she can’t afford those things right now n is doing the best she can. I grew in foster care, just because u go into the system doesn’t mean his life is going to be any better, doesn’t mean he’s going to live this great life with a loving family etc. Its extremely traumatic for a child to be ripped away from a parent and sent to live with strangers, esp at that age when the child is most vulnerable. The mom can get a free care seat from the baby’s pediatrician or a fire station. Mention it to her, or go grab one for her if u can. As far the smoke goes, she’s a grown ass women, it’s not illegal to smoke marijuana. And while I wouldn’t advise smoking cigarettes around children, people do, and even if she did stop like she says around him that stench is gonna be there for a long ass time. It’s not just magically gonna be clean, all her things n the babies is gonna reek until she cleans/washes it all down real good. At the end of the day she’s the Mom, n if she doesn’t wanna bring him to the doctor then she doesn’t have to. Unless he is being beaten, or the wheezing is to the point he literally can’t breathe then I’m sure it will pass. I don’t bring my kids to the doctor for every little cough or stomach bug etc, kids get sick, and get colds etc. Keep an eye on it, if it last for more than a couple weeks or effects his breathing then tell Mim that u don’t feel comfortable watching him until he’s been seen by a doctor. Please do not call CPS n take resources away from children who are really in need of help though. If you don’t agree with her parenting etc then just tell her u can’t baby sit anymore.
Just threaten to call and she will stop
You’re totally judging her. Either help her or remove yourself from their lives. DON’T make things worse for someone who is obviously struggling.
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As an adult… especially if you have children of your own… it is our job to be protectors of all children whether ours or not… children do not have a voice… and if you have already done the first steps… trying to tell the mom… giving her time to get the child help and she hasnt… then its our responsibility to get that child help…no they won’t let you take the child to the doctor… you need to call child protect services so that baby can get the help it needs. It is a tough and hard situation…but its our job.
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Unfortunately you cant take him to a doctor or urgent care. Maybe urgent care. Just be like, this kid I’m babysitting for can’t breathe so if it’s an emergency then maybe the ER? I really don’t know.
Keep watching the kid, just express to her that the kid needs to be seen asap. Do not stop watching the kid. In fact, try to watch the kid even more lol. I mean he’s safe with you. Until you feel you need to call dfs. Because I wouldnt just yet. The system is complete shit. Seriously he probably wouldn’t be better off.
In some states you can take a child to the dr even if hes not yours they will call the legal parent for consent
Not your business!!! Let someone else make the call!! How would you like it if ppl called cps on you!!
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If that baby can’t breathe take them to the ER. State that your just the babysitter but the baby is having trouble breathing. I don’t think they will turn you away. I’ve had asthma all my life and it’s horrible when you can’t breathe!!!
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Yup definitely call it in
Why don’t u say to her what ur saying about her! Maybe you can get somewhere.
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Next time the baby comes wheezing call 911, you should not ever make yourself medically responsible for a child you know is medically unwell, I would call CPS also, as a licensed day care provider you are a mandated reporter
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Ask her if you can take the baby to the doctor and don’t tell her but get a home drug test and try to do it to check the baby to see if the drugs in it’s system
Be stern with the mom, offer to keep him if you can. Ect
Some of you saying “mind your own business” “don’t call cps and get that child taken away” are the exact reason why we have children constantly dying in the hands of their parents because they were being severely neglected. SMH. Cps is NOT as bad as people make them out to be.
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If a baby in my care was wheezing I’d be calling 911
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So personally yea call cps. They will make sure the kid gets Healthcare. They won’t take the kid. They will put her on a schedule and give her expectations to meet. She needs to care more about her kid. And this comes from a mom who’s hubby smokes cigs
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Emergency room for a check up
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Although u think calling CPS is the responsible thing to do, I would first think about your own love for that child. If your were to call. Its almost guaranteed the mom will get pissef off and not allow u to babysit anymore. Therefore u wouldn’t see him to know he’s ok. If u can deal with that then go ahead and call. If u can’t call 911 report the wheezing and distressed breathing. They will come n take him to get looked at. Or talk to the mother.
I would make sure you half soild proof of child neglect before wrecking someone life maybe try speaking to her about your concerns and see if she need some help herself! instead of judging and jumping to conclusions there people that smoke for medical reasons which isn’t actually your business if she does. And if your that worried about the baby breathing sorry but I wouldn’t be posting on here instincts tell you take the baby to ER. Sorry just sick people who jump to cps before trying help the family and judging.We all make mistakes and it isn’t easy being single mother either, the poor mum could be struggling with postnatal depression and your sat here telling the world how crap she is 
You should be more concerned about the cigarettes instead of the pot. Cigs cause cancer and breathing problems.
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Taking smoking out of the equation completely because some of you people in the comments are taking it as a direct slight to you. The child is exhibiting symptoms of a breathing problem. The mother is not addressing it. That is the main issue here. It’s extremely hard to have a child taken away from a parent if there’s no substance abuse going on. I would give the mother a chance to perhaps get on government assistance for insurance for the child and have her take him in. If she isn’t doing anything about it you are obligated to report it.
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How about you worry about yourself and keep you 
out of things that doesn’t concern you!!!
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Honestly just talk to her with more force. Let her know you feel obligated to help her child. That you can do it with her or with the state.
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Sounds like the child might have some type of URI or could be RSV. The child should be seen by his pediatrician. If you speak with her again that you want her to have him seen, and if she can’t reiterate to her you can take him. If she refuses than I’d contact your local CPS. I’m inclined to say go ahead and contact them just for the mere fact of what you saw in her vehicle.
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I’d call in a report. You tried to offer help and she refused. I feel badly for her knowing that she’s overwhelmed as a single parent BUT being a parent means over coming obstacles and doing what’s best for your child.
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I’d leave children services out of it they do more damage than good
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That’s a tough call. Put yourself in her shoes. What would you want to happen? 
Report it or take him to emergency room when you have him
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I would definitely report her to CPS. I’m not against moms smoking weed but the fact she’s doing it around her child is completely unacceptable and is causing harm to her babies health.
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Take him to the ER and tell them ur the babysitter and the baby is having troubles breathing. They can’t turn him away. They will take him right in and will call mom to get info.
You should be straight with the mother. Tell her your concerns, and tell her straight out that if she doesn’t take the baby for a doctors visit that you will in good conscience have to report it. Explain.to her that you would hope someone.would do the.same if it were you. If you want offer to go with her. If she doesn’t change behavior then for the child’s sake Report it!
Call get the baby help or take him to the kids emergency room before he dies:raised_hands:
Talk to her again, ask her for his insurance info and a letter stating that you can take the baby to the dr. As far as CPS goes, I wouldn’t. It destroys families. I’ve seen them take kids who shouldn’t have been taken and I’ve seen them leave kids with obvious signs of abuse.
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tell her u are wanting to take him to the doctor and if she doesn’t let you tell her u have no choice but to get child protection involved
If something happens to that baby you will have to live with the guilt. I would make the phone call and hopefully cps will be able to help her more then hurt the family. Also as a daycare provider you are a mandatory reporter in my opinion.
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My all means do report this !! They will help the mom if she needs anything you won’t hurt either of them you will do them both a favor ! Cps it’s all about trying to help this moms who are lost !! You could do this confidential but call soon !
Maybe take him into the ER and voice your concerns. You said you’ve tried to talk to the mother about this but she hasn’t done anything. You said she doesn’t know what she’s doing per her…if you take the baby to the ER they are mandated reporters and they will call it in
I fear if you call CPS and they just show up at her house that she may try to run and then the child is in more danger.
Maybe I’m way off base on this, but i would go to the ER and go that route myself.
Call! The only thing that matter is the baby. Not moms reaction or how other people feel about it.
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Seriously kids have no voices and if you mind your business about neglect and things like that, the kid always suffers the most. I’d report her
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Small comment if she takes him to the doctor herself and the doctor finds out what’s going on cps will be called anyway
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Call please. This is so sad.
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I’d take him to the ER. They will alert CPS from there once you tell them the info you have stated here. I hope the baby gets better soon! Thank you for stepping in & being a voice for that baby!!
Get essential oils…dol terra breath wonderful. Im in same situation. Mom is young and doesn’t know much at all…CPS aren’t any better for the child. I say do what you can and talk to her repeatedly. You should not ho behind her back. Thats low down of you…
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I would lay out the concerns to the mom and let her know you’re not trying to attack her…just trying to help since she stated she doesn’t know what she’s doing. If she doesn’t take the baby to the doctor before bringing it back to your house, then I’d get involved. If you say it in a way that she feels attacked she might just quit going to you and bring baby elsewhere and they won’t get the help they might need then. But I’d give her a chance to address the concerns since she might not realize how serious you feel about them if you just mentioned them in passing
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Not everyone is educated on things like smoke. I grew up in smoke, took me years to realize that I didn’t need to smoke around my kids and that I shouldn’t smoke in the car or house. I didn’t belive my kids smelled like smoke until I quit smoking. I am a recovering addict as well. Even when I got clean and didn’t smoke in the house, I still smoked in the car because I believed the smoke was going out the window. 
Sounds like she is just young and dumb. It takes awhile for some of us to grow up. I was about 28 
. I’m thankful for cups because I was on meth when they took my kids. We have a great life now with normal life struggles. If this was me I would approach her in a kind gentle way and offer advice and help before I resorted to cps. good luck and God bless.
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If you are concerned, yes report it.
Take him to the emergency room so he gets seen and tell them the situation with the mother and give them the mother’s information
100% report!
I mind my own business unless it’s safety concerns!
Like 100% could care less what’s she smokes. But outside. Wash hands before touching baby ( hospital even recommends changing clothes )
In Canada it’s illegal to smoke anything in front of minors
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Call child protective services
I would have a conversation with her about your concerns and ask how you can help. Are there local resources to get her a new car seat? Can you talk to her about how bad second hand smoke is? Maybe offer a ride to the doctors, or for her to give permission for you to take baby. If she is responsive and reactive, that’s good. If she is defensive or doesn’t care/respond, that’s when I would go to outside resources like CPS. It is everyone’s responsibility in the community to keep children safe, especially when they can’t speak for themselves. This mom seems to be struggling so offering help or local resources first might be good. If she doesn’t take the help, then it has to be escalated.
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Take to er and explain everything. The doctor is obligated to call cps and if you believe it’s bad then the doctor will definitely agree and call them because they have to.
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This child literally has issues breathing and people are telling you to mind your business and not judge her? Unreal.
Your instincts and gut are right. This child needs your help and you helping is probably going to save his life one way or another. Next time you witness troubled breathing bring him in immediately. It’s not fair she has put you in this position.
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You need your ass kicked.
Everyone has a moral mandate to call cps if suspected child abuse. Neglect is classified as child abuse. Their job is to investigate and make decisions. If you’re concerned, and it sounds like you’re very concerned for this child’s well-being, then you need to make the call and give the information you have. The rest is up to cps. This baby does not have a voice and cannot ask for help. If you’re uncomfortable imagine how baby must feel.
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If you call the child will get taken away from the Mom and you won’t have to babysit again. The little one will be taken care of in a Foster home. Case closed
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Don’t stop watching him you might be his only hope. First try to offer and get info to take him yourself. If she says no and still doesn’t, then call cps
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I’d talk to the mom again. If nothing changes, either take him to the hospital or call someone. Atleast if you take him to the hospital they can make the decision if he’s being neglected or harmed and they can call CPS if they feel it’s needed. Takes the blame off you a little.
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CPS has actually been very helpful to mothers like this. When I worked closely with CPS at my last job my clients who had CPS calls for variety of reasons got a lot of assistance with parenting skills and getting new clothes and a bunch of good things for the family. A lot of people assume CPS is just going to do something terrible but most frequently they are very helpful and they want to keep the kid in the home.
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Take him to the eR for a check up. Then it will be them that will involve a social worker if the baby has problems. It won’t be on you.
Protect him! I would call the non emergency line at the police station and speak with someone and then go from there
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Very tough situation. Do what you think is best for the child
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I would say call. But don’t necessarily go straight in to making a report. See if you can just talk to them anonymously for advice first
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If she refuses to take him or allow you to take him to the doctors, than go to the ER. They can report it
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Definitely dont not do anything… That baby needs someone on his side. And his mom obviously doesnt care. But cos would be the very last thing u dont want to oiss mom off cuz then u may never see the baby again and wont be able to helo him at all… Trying tslking to her again and stress ur concern for the child. And if it doesnt stop i would take him to the dr without her knowing and let him be seen if they allow u.
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He could just be sick unrelated to anything mom has been smoking.
But as far as action you can take, this is my opinion….
It isn’t illegal for mom to smoke (cigarettes or weed(I live in MA it’s legal here and should beeverywhere) in the car by herself.
But it is federally illegal to smoke with a child in the car.
Also, if the baby is sick I’d take him to urgent care when he’s with you, that’s your duty as the sitter in my opinion. Just get him checked out.
As far as calling services, I would leave that to the doctor you take him to see. They are mandated reporters and trained to see signs of abuse and neglect and calling yourself based on your opinion could be detrimental to his life and moms if she’s not doing anything actually illegal.
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A trip to the ER to get him checked out, especially if he is wheezing, and they will involve CPS.
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I smoke but not in the vehicle I put my kids in, or in my house… I smoke outside away from my kids. Please report her, it’s a baby who needs help. She needs a class or help .
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Depending where you are…don’t know if you are in the USA or not, but there is something called “acting in loco parentis”, which means as a caregiver you can act as a parent to get the child medical help. Schools and other caregivers act in this capacity for students. Take the baby to the er, and report the concerns to the medical staff. You can also call CPS as well, if you feel that concerns may not be taken seriously. As a caregiver, you do have a responsibility to report. It doesn’t necessarily need to be to law enforcement, unless there is a potential for other abuse/neglect is present.
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I think the child should be taken to the ER and the mom should go with the child. She seems lazy and doesn’t want to waste her time in the ER.
She needs to learn to do that and maybe needs to hold someone’s hand to learn. A child’s organs are small and airway is still developing. So it can be very fatal for a child to have difficulty breathing.
Some people are just oblivious to the responsibilities of a child. They need a wake up call. Hopefully, this child does not lose his life in the process.
Did she say she never took the child to the doctor? My sons 2 and always coughs, and has a runny from seasonal allergies and that took months for the doctors to find out because we had to go throw more than 2 medications & they won’t give medications untill they’ve been doing this for 14 days+ .
If she smokes cigarettes around her child that is not illegal and not your place to tell her what she can and can not do. If she smoke weed so tf what, that doesn’t harm a child as long as it’s not around them.
Where would you seen cps needing called?? She just moved there as you said, so does she even have a new PCP for her child? She’s all alone, and clearly just started her job since you just started to babysit , so she probably can’t afford a new car seat , let alone knows it’s expired most first time mothers don’t, I didn’t until my daughter was like 4. People like you are the reason we say no matter what happens you get judged for anything when it comes to being a mother. Let this single mother live wtf she’s clearly trying
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Instead of trying to get her kid taken from her why don’t you offer to help her and a lot of police departments will help her get a car seat especially if hers is out of date all she has to do is tell him she didn’t know that it was
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Take him to the emergency room.
They’ll have the mom come there and she’ll have no choice, or they’ll call DCS themselves on her.
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If you take him to the ER, the nurses and doctors there will call CPS and not let him leave if they feel there’s a concern. Just so you know, it’s very very tough these days to get CPS to do anything.
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I’d just tell her next time she brings him to bring his insurance card and your gonna take him to a prompt care to get his breathing checked out … be nice about it n make it seem like u understand she is busy. Calling dcfs on people is not the answer. I can’t stand people who jump to that as a solution. Only time that should be ok is if it’s major neglect. Also weed is not a drug and isn’t harmful to that child … try to help her
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So what you feel is right for the child. Be their advocate
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Try to get the info from mom she clearly needs some support
What did you decide to do? I’m praying for that poor baby 
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Not sure where your at but if your caring for him and he’s having breathing issues you could always call an ambulance and they have to take care of him regardless… I don’t know what to say other than that.
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I’d report it. Be the voice for that little boy that needs medical attention. 
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Leave child services out of it. See if you have some mom’s groups and ask if anyone is looking to get rid of baby items. Try to get her a hand up. Sounds like she is alone, struggling, and doesn’t want or doesn’t know how to ask for help. See if you have any services or churches that can help. Cps is a horrible organization. Give her a list of places that can help her. Show her that she has support and see if anything changes.
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Be that baby’s voice and help him. Take him to the ER and see what they can do for the poor child
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Don’t stop watching him. That’s the worst thing you could do! I would take him to the doctor and explain the situation. Guarantee they will handle it from there
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She needs to go to the family doctor and if she doesn’t have one call cps because she needs to be held responsible for being neglectful
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Child Protection Services
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I would try talking to the mom again. Just say you’re very worried about his breathing as you have asthma and you know how uncomfortable and potentially dangerous this can be. Ask for insurance cards, doctor info, and ask her to contact the doctor and have you listed as someone authorized. Tell her you’ll handle the rest. You’ll make the appointment, take the baby, pick up any medications etc. How old is mom? She may need some guidance here. I’ve just seen CPS fail children so many times and that would worry me.
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Hey my lovely if your real that worried get social involved and tell them your concerns at the end of the day is anything happens to that little boy you I will never forgive yourself so do the right thing there no harm in trying to protect a child your putting his safety first x.
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