Maybe an eye opener should be something that your brother knows that you appreciate him! Taking care of a sick parent is one of the hardest but most gratifying things! My mom did it with my grandma and family just sended her money but in reality my grandma just wanted my aunts and uncles to be there with her! When grandma died my aunt felt into a deep depression because she was not with grandma her last moments and to this day that is her biggest regret! I would speak up for your brother even if they donāt see how much he has sacrifice for them to just sweep under rug! It is a big job because the not sleeping the waking up all night! The being tired all the time is exhausting!
3 Likes
If dad is still alive he should have done straightened them out. Since he did not I would ask the preacher to mention a thank you for all the brothers help and love of mom.
1 Like
No I wouldnāt do it. Instead praise your brother in front if your sister and maybe she will see it for herself
1 Like
Tell your brother you are proud of him and grateful for all he gave up to take care of your mom. Maybe thatās all that counts. That someone understands how it was for him.
4 Likes
What would be the point of calling out your sister now? Itās too late for that. She may already be living with guilt that will haunt her the rest of her life.
Just thank your brother for all he did and tell him to be proud of what he has done and let your sister live with her guilt of not being there for her mom
I think your other siblings are really feeling terrible that they were not there themselves. Now she is gone so instead of being upset with themselves they taking it out on the youngest who did spend every minute with her. It is easier to blame someone else then to look at there own relationship with their mother. Your brother needs to be Congratulated for giving up his whole life to care for her. He is a hero to me. Now he will need to start his own life sometimes that harder then it sound. He was used to caring for your mother that was his purpose now heās a little lost keep eye on him. For your sister she needs to be address. She wasnāt willing to drop her everyday life to care for your Mom she should be thanking him.
2 Likes
Would your mom want you to open up a can of worms? Let her Rest In Peace & keep supporting your brother. If he needs to be defended, make sure the time is right. Good luck 
1 Like
Donāt dim what your brother did to call out your sister
Just thank your brother and tell him how you appreciated everything he did for your mother .
Your sister may grieve differently and has to be angry at someone to make her feel better for maybe she feels she didnāt do enough ā¦. No excuse but celebrate your mother .
No need to cause any more hurt or drama in the trying time .
What a great man he is to have put his life a side to take care of his mother!!! Wow , he is a rare breed . He will have the peace later on knowing he did the right thing , your siblings not so much!!!
Nothing like a momma and her boy!!! Great job young man!!! The world could use more people like you!!! 
24 Likes
Support the brother and let the others have it. Seriously. Noone ever realizes how hard taking care of a loved one is. If he wont standup for himself thatās what big sisters are for
20 Likes
So sorry for your loss! I would have a family meeting afterwards to let your brother know how grateful you are for giving up a big part of his life to let you all have more time with your mother. I myself would let the others know that if it werenāt for his sacrifice they wouldnāt have had the memories or time with her! That they should be thanking him for his selflessness! If they choose not to that is on them to live with! Itās off your chest and the one it matters most to hears your words!!! Hugs and prayers
17 Likes
Your brother did a very selfless act taking care of your Mom and I am sure she appreciated him being there for her. I am so sorry for your familyās loss. You really do owe it to him to stand up for him to your siblings. It takes a special person to make that kind of sacrifice. Hopefully, he can go on and build a life that will make him happy and start his own family. Blessings being sent to you all and there is a special place in heaven for selfless people like your brother.
18 Likes
Wait until after she is laid to rest. Continue to give him positive words of support and thank him for helping when nobody else did.
16 Likes
Call them out. Put them in their places! My oldest son did not work because he helped with my mama. Ironically, the day she passed, he got his job. If he had not helped, I could not have taken care of her by myself.
10 Likes
Your mother would want you to try to heal the rift not further split the family apart. If there is a Wake I would publicly thank your brother for all his love and care of your mom and they extra years he gave all of you.
8 Likes
If it is said directly to you then take a stand on how you feel. They have their opinion and if they are so closed minded that they couldnāt see what was going on then thereās nothing you can say to change things. Mean while you could maybe tell your brother how much you appreciated his efforts right in front of them.
8 Likes
Tell ur sibling they didnāt step up so they should be simply grateful he did
6 Likes
I believe you should stand up to them and say something because taking care of someone ill is more than a full time job also if you are able can you please show your brother how much you appreciate everything he has done for her
4 Likes
Without directly calling the others out and causing more damage, at your motherās funeral or in the obituary add in the fact that due to the wonderful care your brother provided you were able to enjoy more years with mom. Keep in mind that dad being a workaholic may have been his way of coping and he knew she was in good hands with your brother. I hope they recover soon. Sorry for your loss.
5 Likes
Yes they need to apologize for dogging him out and they need to thank him for being there to love and look after her. Itās not easy being the one in his position. And as much as you all might love your mom he was probably closer and saw more of her pain and listened to more of her thoughts during that time than other siblings. Itās not easy being a caretaker to someone but itās even more difficult when itās your mom(or any loved one)
Step up and let the others know that you appreciate your brother and he made sacrifices they either couldnāt or didnāt want to make.
5 Likes
I would really let them have it! They should be thanking & bowing to him!! Hope he comes to realize he shouldnāt care what they think! He was there when they were not! Bless him & you! This makes me so mad, Iād like to tell em all
Tell them like it is and make sure praise your brother in front of them! Also keep checking in on the brother, right now may be extremely hard on him if you think hes not mentally doing well then he may not be and could use all the positive vibes to get through this!
Support your brother and have his back. There is NOTHING harder than caring for an ailing parent or grandparent. It is physical and emotionally exhausting. It is time- consuming. It is selfless. And it eats away at your own health and well-being. Your brother deserves support, acknowledgement and appreciation for the parts of himself he has given to do this. And your siblings have no idea how much he really has gone through to do this, nor how much grief, pain and sheer hard work he has gone through so they didnāt have to.
So sorry for your lossā¦
It seem like your sister does not even know how hard is to take care a person that is illā¦ She should be gratefulā¦ Sadly it sounds like she is a little selfish and will never understandā¦ Yes, you should tell her to stopā¦ That is just not niceā¦
Call them out. Where were they while your brother took care of their mother. Why didn t they take turns so that he could have had a life. He is the one that they should be grateful for giving them more time with their mother. Shelfish jerks now need to help their brother instead of making him feel like crap. I know you don t know me but I am extremely proud of your brother. Please let him know that there are people out here that respects what he did and all the sacrifices he made. Good Bless this good man.
Give a eulogy and mention how thankful and proud your mom was of him and the selfless sacrifices he made just for her, so no one had to ā¦ and how amazing she thought he was for doing this when he could have been elsewhere.
Then, when itās all said and doneā¦ let them have it!!!
1 Like
I would say something! If it wasnt for your brother she wouldnāt had been here as long as she was. there probably just jealous they didnt get to spend the time with her like he did and dont have those special memories like he does it takes a very special, caring,loving person like your brother to take care of a sick parent you give your brother lots of credit that is a full time job you tell him not to worry about them hes more of a man than they ever will be and they have alot of growing up to do and maybe one day they will realize it and that he has you and your dad and thatās all he needs! sorry for your loss hope your brother can get through this and will be ok
I would call all of them out individually. Not in a mean way but more of a curiousity. One on one. Ask them if they could go back in time would they take the same route or help your younger brother in the sacrifices he made for your mother? This is a time for you all to heal together and not turn against each other. Show them how grateful you are for the younger one. Everyone could have taken turns at helping out but they chose to leave it up to him to care for her.
You seem like an amazing sister, keep it up. Just keep lifting his spirits, he needs you. Iām sorry for your loss. Maybe you can help him find himself again after everything settles down. Sounds like your sister isnāt worth the energy. She sounds narcissistic and if thatās the case nothing you say will change her mind about how she feels. You saying anything will only fuel her fire.
I think those nay sayers should knock if off. They didnāt take care or mom like you two did.
Our mom didnāt raise us. When she got dementia now of us wanted to care for her that fell to my niece. She was raised by our mom. Sorry not sorry but we who Did not help need to shut up. I admire what you and your brother did for her. Tell him to ignore what they say, if he can and move on with his head held high. Good luckā¦
Call her out. He clearly did the right thing. I have siblings that do the same thing and act like they did all the work when it came to our dad. He should feel proud of what he did. As long as your there to build him up that is all he needs.
At some point and time you should let them know how you feel about they action not helping take care of they mother. And let your brother know he did a great job when he made the choice to take of he mother. Tell him he made a real man choice. So tell him to keep he head up mom would be proud of him. Because yall was there when she needed him most. Be blessed
Write his story for him and share it with your siblings
Sometimes people get so caught up in their own lives they donāt recognise what others give up or do to support sick parents
1 Like
Yes, you should defend his choice to help your mother when everyone else kept living their lives , his choice to help is commendable, I was in same situation & very hurt when others accused me of doing nothing with my life, it was my choice, & never regret it
Thank God he was there for her , siblings are fighting their own deacons for not spending time with her.
Have a talk with your dad and have him tell them if they would have stepped up a little more they might not feel the need to run their brother down cause thatās not love.
What a great son ur mother had to put his life on hold to take care of her. Do what u feel is right and cherish ur little brother for all he did. Send good vibes 
When you do finally have a service or memorial during the eulogy speak about how he unselfishly gave so much to take care of your mom when no one else could or would.
Maybe now your brother can get a job in the health field,or private,that someone needs help with their love one.What a great manā¦
I applaud him! It takes a special kind of person to do what he did. I think he would be a great caregiver or even CNA! Lots of employers train and help you get your CNA!!!
He needs to know his sacrifice was wonderful and greatly appreciated even if only you. You need to tell him. Shame on those who speak against him in addition they did nothing to help. Decide on time and express your opinion and concerns. Please get him counseling. He should not feel guilty for his great sacrifice for his mother.
Be there for him. Call your siblings out ! This speak more to their own guilt and has nothing to do with your little brother.
Honesty is the best ,sometimes we have to be reminded of sacrifices made by one that effect everyone
Yes call them out ive actually been him and I no longer talk to my siblings except 1 because they see no wrong in what theyāve said and done
Be there for your brother. But go after your siblings. After your mom is laid to rest. Show him or at least tell him about some of these comments. He should be proud for putting his life on hold and taking care of his mom. From what you said he was able to save her and gave her a longer life. Later when things settle down he will have no regrets and neither will you but the other siblings will.
Call them out, they have no right to say anything about him when he was there 24/7 that is a full time job. Stand up for him, they should be ashamed of themselves
I would definitely call them out. Taking care of a sick family member especially your mom is tougher than any job. Where were they when she needed someone to help her? He deserves gratitude for what he did not to c th irixsized
Back him up NOW!! Tell him how valuable he is now and in the past.sound like your other siblings have a terrible sense of value and maybe even feeling a little guilty. That make people act out you know.
After the funeral, if you can wait! But a definite conversation on respect !
I would speak up have a family gathering of siblings and your father. Are even helping with arrangements for her funeral?
I tell you what after all this is over and done with everything settled Iād let him have it with both barrels I wouldnāt hold nothing back either
Where is your dad in all this ? maybe he could talk to them and put a stop to it all
Your siblings are judgmental and unappreciative. Did they offer to be there in His place.
God bless you for recognizing the love and care youāre brother gave to your Mother- and yes he sacrificed his life for your Mom and Dad, he wonāt need recognition-he knows and thatās something know one can take away from him, the siblings should be grateful- and will have to deal with any negative feelings about guilt etc on their own. I would keep the peace and focus on honoring your Motherās memoryš
Call them out! If he was caring for yāallās mom, you call them out! He WASNāT being lazy or useless, he was taking care of yāallās sick mom! He deserves some credit!! Now, with your mom goneā¦ yāall need to make amends bc that is what she wanted! Now, for a vent sessionā¦ Get everyone together. Sit in a circle around a campfire or around the dinner table. But air that shit out and get it over and out of your systems bc hanging onto that kinda stuff is not good! Trust me I know! And since you cared for yāallās mom, let someone else care for yāallās dad! They will probably apologize to you after all is said and done when they find out it aināt so easy. 
14 Likes
Definitely speak up !
2 Likes
Hell yes call them out! Your brother took on the job of full time caregiver and deserves their respect and admiration.
Call them out before u bury her and air it out if they stop talking to u and then let it be!!
Of course you need to set them straight.
Id wait until after the funeral. But they do need to be called out.
I agree ā¦call them out. Stand up for him.
You and your siblings feelings are valid. However, I would wait maybe a month or so to start that conversation. Let this time be about celebrating her life and remembering and honoring her. There is time for you to take your grievances up with them a little down the road.
I would tell them like it is
If they are as selfish as you say, which they probably are. They wonāt care even if you say something. They already have their opinions about the youngest brother and confronting them wonāt change their minds. You can try to say something if you want, but do it without the expectation that youāll change their minds.
As long as your father knows what he has done for the family, inform your siblings to stfu. They should be thanking him.
Being a caregiver is hard work and emotionally draining. They should of been PAYING HIM. Bad mouthing is adding insult to injury.n
May God bless you and your family and heal them from hurtingā¦
Tell your sister to stfu. Bless you and your brother 
Be graciousā¦God knows the truth!!
Yea theyāre assholes for sure
Stand up for your brother. Be the big sister that supports him. Donāt let your other siblings bully him.
25 Likes
Iām sorry for your loss.
What a wonderful person your brother is. Caring for an ailing parent is one of the hardest things Iāve ever done. Kudos to you both.
At this time I wouldnāt bring it up but if another sibling starts on him I would step in and set the record straight.
Lean on each other and love each other. What heās done is more important than any job heāll ever do.
18 Likes
Sorry for your loss. Some people are just that way. You could say something, just think about what you say and do not do it in an argumentative way and be prepared to lose touch with them. But more importantly you need to talk to your little brother and tell him how great he did and praise him and let him know facts that even though he hasnāt been working a āmoney paying jobā he was working as a care taker for the most important person in his life. You could also plant a seed of him going back to school to be a care taker
17 Likes
No! Not right now, just let your brother know you love him and you know the truth and you truly appreciate his sacrifices he made for yāallās mother.
This is absolutely not the time emotions are heightened
11 Likes
As the youngest of 4 that quit work so I could take care of my dad. Yes say something to her. Also make sure your brother knows he did the right thing. Your oldest sister is probably just mad at her self because she wasnāt there and has regrets
10 Likes
So sorry for your loss. If it was me, Iād take her aside and let her know how you feel. After that, if she tries to have a go at your brother, then let rip. Remember, everyone grieves differently, so be gentle if you need to be <3
8 Likes
Knowing he was there for your mom should be enough. You cannot change their minds. You could make a post on social media about how grateful you are for your brother since you had your mom much longer had he not been there for her. Thankful you didnāt need a full time home care nurse and knew that she was in good hands when other family could not be there. Donāt worry about what others say. Yes it sucks, but they will answer for their own flaws one day. You and your brother do you right now. Your brother has nothing to feel bad about. He was with her more and may be missing his time with, his routine. He needs love and understanding not being bullied. It takes a lot to take care for your own family at the end. God Bless you all.
8 Likes
It,s a shame that they,ve chosen to ignore everything your brother did for his mum. I think all you can do is show your brother that you love and care for him as much as he loved and cared for your mum,be there when he needs someone to talk to and lean upon.
4 Likes
Condolences on your loss. Itās always the ones who never do anything who has the most to say.
Please please please tell them whatās on your mind. Your brother will be happy someone stood up for him.
Stay safe
7 Likes
Your brother is a warrior of Christ he did the right thing heāll be heāll be he will be well taken care of from a woman I love him the same he took care of his mother with his heart and heāll be taken care of by another woman too that has a hard for him too the way he is God bless heāll move on his life
1 Like
Funny how the ones who donāt take care bash on the one who didā¦I would definitely call her out, but in private firstš Your brother sounds like a wonderful, caring person and the world needs more of that!!!
1 Like
Just telling h how you appreciate all he did and how you feel that he gave mom many more years would go a long ways, and if your older siblings were in ear shot it wouldnāt hurt. So sorry for your loss.
1 Like
Iām so sorry for your loss. You should stand up for your brother and say something. It sounds like he was a blessing to your family - to be able to care for your mom while you guys couldnāt. I hope he knows how important his role in your moms life was.
1 Like
That happens a lot!! Kids that couldnāt or wouldnāt help out feel the need to criticize those that have taken on the heavy load!!! Build your brother up, stand up for him against the do nothing criticizers! Point out how they have not helped and stand your ground!!
1 Like
I would say something. Shame on them for making him feel bad. Honestly death brings out the ugly in people. Why didnāt they ever say something before. Definitely say something.
So sorry for your loss.
I want to say Iām so sorry for your familyās loss. I canāt imagine the death of a parent, Iām sure itās very difficult. 
Your brother sounds like a very amazing person for choosing to care for his sick mother - Iām sure it wasnāt easy. I personally would wait to solve any kind of problems you have, any drama you have within the family. Bury your mother first and grieve. Be there for your brother and console him the most as it sounds like you & him may have been the closest to her. He certainly is not worthless and make sure he knows that. Shame on the other siblings for being so stuck up. I hope yāall find the peace & healing you need in this tragic time. 
Coming from someone similar but not entirely the same situation to yours and your brothers in my experience I just needed to grieve myself and to know that someone understood what I was going through and someone was there to listen when I was finally able to talk. Every family dynamic is different go with your instincts and do what you feel is best. Best thing anyone ever did for me was just sit there when I had nothing to say and just listen when I was finally at the point I could let it out.
Sorry for your loss. Give your brother a big hug. Iām probably in no place of advising since I cannot imagine the pain yall are going through 
I could say āno donāt call her out, ever! Is not worth your energy.ā But at the same time itās not fair for your older siblings to try to make your younger brother feel like his life is worthless!
Hope things work out for the best. Sometimes no response is the best answer 
I feel for your concern. Of course you donāt want any antagonisn at the funeral or memorial service! So when IS the best teachable moment, when you can gently set sister straight about brotherās valuable contribution? Itās a delicate matter. Think about how and when you can say something simple and earnest, such as, "Johnny made a loving sacrifice of his time and energy, by helping mom in her fading days. Letās always respect him for that.ā Then leave it alone. You need to be sort of forgiving yourself, if you are to keep both in your life. Thatās probably what your mom would be happy with. And if Sis canāt leave it alone, you could try changing the subject a few times. Maybe she ll reali,e you donāt wish to gossip about family.
Take your sister aside and gently talk to her about her behavior towards your brother let her know heās hurting and feeling lost and you all need to pull together as a family
I would definitely say somethingā¦ and not wait for anything. What if tomorrow was too lateā¦ or 1 more remark from them pushed him over the edgeā¦ and he killed himself before your mother was buriedā¦
He clearly cared more for her than they didā¦ they deserve no sympathy āwaitingā. Iād call them out asap
1 Like
Yes sorry for your loss but if she mentions it again! She needs to know what he did
I think he should be told how great his sacrifices were. If it was my family id defend himā¦
Tell them how proud you are of him and all he did to care for your momā¦sacrificing time, social life and career.
Your brother is a jewel, an angel, respect him as a saint; no body can do what he did for your mother, just b with him, do not expect anything from other siblings, they live in their own lives, u live life in your own way, caring and loving way
Stand up for your little brother! He took on the heavier load!
Iām sorry for your loss. I would definitely say some to her.