Should I confront him or ignore him?

My husband and I have been married for 18 years. We got married right out of high school. Anyway, after having 3 kids, my body changed a lot and I’ve had to work pretty hard to keep my weight in check. It also brought back some of my dark self hatred and eating disorder symptoms from my younger years. Anyway, my husband has been secretly mean to me lately. I haven’t worked out in a while bc I’ve been super busy homeschooling our special needs son and trying to keep up with everything that needs to be done I have to bring our son with me to workouts bc I have no help.. I have missed my workout friends and having something that’s just for me & I wanna go back. He keeps saying things like “you really need to work out again” and he pinches my skin on my arms and sides making sure I know he’s noticed I’m overweight. I lost 80lbs almost 10 years ago and I’ve gained about 10lbs back over Covid and I’m not too happy about it, but he knows how I obsess over this and I think he’s doing it to hurt me intentionally(he’s done that in the past) How do I deal with it? Should i confront him or ignore him? Would it even help to say anything? I mean I can’t make him care

I guess it depends on your personality… Personally I would ignore him. He shouldn’t care about that, and the fact that he does it on purpose to hurt your feelings is gross. If you’re more confrontational…Tell him he needs to help with your son so you can go to the gym or he can be quiet about it because you do everything yourself with no help.

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Should I confront him or ignore him?

If it makes you uncomfortable, say something. And if he continues, leave :woman_shrugging:t3: he should be your comfort and make you feel beautiful even when you don’t feel that way, not making you self concious about your looks or weight


You 100% say something. Then, remind him… He isn’t in an 18yr old body.


I’d confront him. Then be petty and start making the same comments back.


What a douche is he in perfect shape? Probably not tell him to help out more and give you a break so you can go to the gym or whatever by yourself. I’d give him a taste of his own medicine


Sounds like he’s a total dick! Don’t allow anyone to treat you like that

Put him in his place. Does he work out? Is he the same as he was when he was 18?

I mean honestly I’d leave :woman_shrugging: no way would I want to keep my weight in check to make a man happy​:woman_facepalming:


He should be grateful that you gave him children and love you and your body more!! Don’t ever let a man cut you down about your weight, throat punch him and leave his ass

Pinch his junk. Ask him what his excuse is


I’d tell him to screw. He has no reason to treat you this way. You absolutely should stand up for yourself.


Send him in front of a mirror and pick out all his imperfections … men like this need a reality check.


200% say something. This is borderline abusive behavior (if not already crossing the line). People change over time (especially after having kids).
My personal opinion: a loving a supportive husband should always make you feel beautiful and help to support you and your self confidence, not find ways to drag you down.


Im petty as hell. I would probably be doing the same thing back to him.:sweat_smile:


Don’t let him treat u like that. If u wanna work out do it. Don’t do it for him though do it for u. So what if u have gain weight. There is other men out there that love women with meat on there bones. I would leave the marriage. I went from being 110 lbs to 180 and I’m fine with it. My hubby loves my curves.

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Tell him his mouth seems to be gaining weight also, and he should shut the fat thing up :roll_eyes:


Umm I would just straight up leave his ass… he sounds controlling and mentally abusive. If have had kids and your not 18 anymore if he truly loved you he wouldn’t do that shit to you straight up…

Poke him in the head and say “You need to lose all that Asshole going on up there, you do that and I’ll lose the weight you claim I need to lose”.

ignore it!!! ha noooo girl that’s mental abuse leave! any true man would never never make u feel that way 9 yrs with my ex husband i felt this way i’m newly married now i’m plus size my husband makes me feel like a model!!!


What a mean man. Hard to know what to tell you as its an 18 year marriage. I hope u find a way without killing him :purple_heart:

So I’ve been thinking about this topic a lot lately I was under weight for a …well forever I’ve recently gained almost 40lbs for whatever reason age hormones eating to much idk but its here which fine I needed to gain some weight im working on being comfortable like this but everyone and there mothers feel the need to comment on it including my man…I understand it’s coming from a place of caring but f*** its sounds rude asf every flipping time I understand its ment to be a compliment but dude it’s just not …idk why people specially loved ones feel the need to comment on someones weight good or bad unless there some kind if medical issue that warrants the convo it’s not something people should be saying wtf is wrong with people!!!

That’s disgusting for him to do that to you. Im overweight myself and i have gained about 100 pounds over the last 18 months and i never had my husband do anything like that to me.

:rage:Tell him that for every 20 lbs a man loses, he gains an inch down below and you’d appreciate that.


Be like “could be a few more inches bigger” and pinch his dick

I’d tell him to kiss my ass !! Then be a bitch and say well you could grow a few inches down there so I could feel it .

I can’t get over how some women’s husbands treat them!! And here I am annoyed that I can hear my husband swallow when he gets a drink :joy: I guess some men are lessons and some are blessings!!


Start pinching all of the areas on his body that are “imperfect”, he’s an ass

Does he have a six pack? Because unless he doesn’t tell him to shut up

On one hand - I understand what everyone has already replied to - on the other hand - I have had many friends lose their marriage because the attraction and spark has been lost.

So if I was you - see if there is a bigger issue- and see if the weight is a symptom. If so - work on your connection.

Oh girl confront Him. He is being cruel not loving like a spouse should be. I’ve gained 70 pounds in the past 3 years. My sweetie doesnt care, He isn’t a jerk. Congrats on losing the weight, dont beat yourself up over gaining a few back.

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Tell him how you feel

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Be petty. Start showing him pics of shredded younger men and say that he needs to lose weight and hit the gym. Pinch him and remind him that he isn’t perfect. If he doesn’t change then walk away from the marriage. In fact do that now and work out for yourself and not for someone who doesn’t appreciate that people age and that you literally birthed 3 kids.


Do unto others as they do to you

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If he’s hurt you in the past make him your ex husband - seriously why keep trying for him? He’s not worth it if he devalues you

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The appropriate response to that is: “You’re absolutely right!”And walk out the door to the gym. Go put a workout outfit and your sneakers in the car right now so you’ll be ready.

Also, I had workout dvds and weights in my minivan and I would park in a corner somewhere while my kids were at an activity and work out behind my minivan watching the dvd through the back hatch.

Warning; after you get back to yourself you will have a take no shit attitude and he’s not going to like it.

Honey you get mad not glad put him in a glad bag on the curb (they stretch)


It’s you he should love after all this time . Age happens to us all . Complain his balks are lowering if not sorted he can go :woman_shrugging:t3: men :face_with_symbols_over_mouth:

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I’m petty. Id be patting his belly his bum or his bits saying…hmmm .
Hes not perfect so make him feel just as bad …

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Go get him a gym membership and tell him let’s go together because I carried 3 babies in my body baby and I still look damn good now what’s your excuse for the weight you have gained and all your imperfections let’s hear that then calmly tell him he either stops this mental abuse or you will period I have been with my husband 19 years married 17 I was small when we met I gained over 140 pounds and guess what he asked me to marry him still and I had 0 babies to blame he still loved and told me daily I was beautiful never has he done this now after having a baby at 36 iam now 124 pounds not by choice cancer got me down im struggling to gain any weight now but not once has he said oh my God you need to go to the gym and tighten everything up nope he days baby I live you always no matter how small or how big he actually prefers more meat on me and my curves and when I get down on myself he is the one who lifts me up so you need to set his ass straight and tell him to act like a decent human

No man should ever say something like that. EVER. That is just totally disrespectful


Homeschooling and Specal need child and more kids .tell him to take your place so you will have time to do what you you need to do. It took you both to have these kids. Team work .

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Definitely confront him. Your husband is the last person that should be making you feel more self conscious than you already are. You gave him 3 beautiful children.


I’m super petty so I’d probably be passive aggressive to him for a while until he notices and when he asks what my problem is I’d say something mean like “you always point out I’m overweight so I just thought I’d point out the crap I don’t like about you either. Ya know, since you wanna play that game I thought it would get boring if you always play by yourself. Now you have a partner.”


Start doing it back to him


Tell him it’s more of you to love. Joke back with him and say hmmm. I see a little pinch here and there on you too. Maybe he will stop doing it if you give it right back.

Girl…Id be pinching him right back and I would talk to him about watching your son so you can workout.

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Leave that Ass behind!

Rude comments are bad enough, but pinching and poking visual gains as a mode of showing you. That’s a huge red flag crossed.
Leave him ! You deserve better

He might not know how to encourage you the best way so that’s his way. I would talk to him about it.

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Girl you can drop that 200lbs of weight that calls itself your husband and you will feel so much better


Pardon my French but FUCK THAT!!

I hope your husband is extremely fit, lean, and offering to homeschool while you go to the gym. A lot of the men making fun of woman should hit the gym themselves. Don’t change for a man who isn’t supporting and loving who you are in the moment.


Confront him honestly and tell him if he continues to be a jacka** you’ll divorce him because you refuse to be treated like this anymore and deserve someone way better than him.

Just turn around when he does it and say that reallt hurts my feelings, see if u get a response

Be he’s not a skinny as he was when you met him…

Has he taken that into consideration?

Just start patting his belly when he gets home for the day, no hugs, just pats lol. And ask if he wants DIET (coke) or water to help with those extra calories. :roll_eyes: asssssssssss! My petty butt over here thinking tit for tat :rofl:

Does he work out everyday? Does he take care of himself? If he doesn’t fck him. Stand up for your self.

He’s being abusive and you don’t deserve it!


Start commenting that his penis seems smaller

Yeah feck the weight drop the man and you be happy your body changed to give him children he would have caught a black eye off me :woman_shrugging:

Thats gross behavior. 1st: its hard to maintain weight after having kids/ taking care of family.
2. he already knows this bugs you and instead of helping you make time for yourself he’s being emotionally abusive.
3. No-one looks like they did when they were 18 or 25. Especially after having children.
4. Id tell him this behavior needs to stop. 2. He needs to help out with the kids- if he refuses literally just grab your keys leave the kids with him and go workout.

Honestly divorce is not a word to be thrown around lightly especially after so many years and kids . If you still love this man just talk to him about it, if he still loves you he will correct him self.

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“Are you going to help make going to the gym happen for me? Are you going to take some of the responsiblities off of my plate and be supportive? Because this, this isn’t supportive. This isn’t okay. My weight and fitness is not open for discussion for ANYONE but me.”


If it bothers you, say something.

I mean how petty do you wanna be about it… his dick don’t work the same after 18yrs either🤷‍♀️

Flick his winky and tell him it’s small. See how he likes it :joy:


Do it back to him get right at his weakness

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I would tell him to shove it right then and there. Tell him to stop being such an ass and that he isn’t perfect but you don’t point out all of his issues. That if he doesn’t love you the way you are then why is he even here. And say if you really cared you would take your son a few times a week so you could go and workout.

Tell him this… you can love my fat ass or you can leave my fat ass :v:t2:

I am in no way shape or form calling you fat. I don’t care if you’re 100lbs or 500lbs, your weight does not need to be addressed by ANYONE, let alone your spouse.

I dropped 125lbs a few years ago, I have loose skin EVERYWHERE. I shake my “bingo” arms and my “bingo” legs at my husband all the time. He tells me to shut up, smacks my butt and kisses me.

As we age, our bodies change. After having children, our bodies change. Unless your husband looks like Jason Mamoa, tell him to suck a dick until he hiccups!

Sorry, but not sorry. I know people have preferences and appearances are what initially attract people, but if you love someone, you love all of them. If you wanna work out and eat right, kudos to you, but do it for YOU, not him. I promise you, there is a man out there that will worship the ground you walk on weather you’re decked out head to toe or just waking up with your hair a mess and last nights makeup still on your face! Find that man and tell this one to kick rocks!

The reality is that even if you lose the pounds that take you back to “acceptable” in his eyes, he will not have lost the 200 lb’s of A-hole that he has become, once someone starts pinching your skin and verbally abusing to demonstrate their dissatisfaction then you’ve already lost everything


Attempt to communicate with him about your feelings. Maybe he doesn’t truly understand it’s upsetting you. Consider counseling.

If this doesn’t work, find someone who appreciates you and accepts you as you are.

Love is unconditional. This doesn’t sound like love. :disappointed:

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That’s not okay. I have gained 90 pounds, lost 90 pounds, gained 90 pounds and mine has never treated me any different because of it. It’s one thing if he offers help and support as well as doing these healthy changes with you, but not by fat shaming you. I’m sorry, you don’t deserve that.

You can lose a real quick 180-220 lbs (just a guess), by kicking his ass to the curb

One of my best friends is overweight and she makes it look sexy!
I am 102 pounds and trying to gain.
I dropped my son’s father for saying that I have no meat on my bones!
To heck with him!

Next time he pinches you and talks about your weight, pinch him really hard right back. If he can’t understand that Covid hit, you were taking care of your special needs son with homeschooling and that you don’t have somebody to watch him so you can go and work out to get those pinches off, pinch him really hard right back. Say how about this how about when you’re home, I got when I work out so that way there you can take care of the kids while I go when I worked out since my pinches are too much for you to handle.


You deal with it by tell him to stop physically abusing you not ignoring it

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Lose ton of weight by showing him the door


Confront, you’ll lose about 200lbs!


I have a solution.

I mean. It’s a felony, but it’s a solution.


Start telling him things you dislike about his body…and his attitude!!
They’res not a soul on this earth that’s perfect…tell him to step up to the plate and help so you can have the time to work out( if that’s what you want to do)… Men thinks womens bodies needs to be magazine perfect…give it back to him…Tell him when his body is perfect maybe that would give you the inspiration to work on yours…


Does he like it maybe ?

I’m sorry he’s being this way to you. I would say something to him, hes not helping by being a ass about it. Don’t let him get away with speaking to you disrespectfully. He should be ok with the kids so you can work out and have some you time. He sounds very selfish and insensitive hopefully by telling him he will stop this behaivor.

Uhm. Tell him to get a grip, or show him the door. That’s ridiculous.

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I’m sure he ain’t the same as when you married I’d confront him and I’m sorry if it didn’t change I’d start pointing out his flaws just to remind him he ain’t perfect no more either he ain’t 18…22…24 even 30 no longer I have gained a lot of weight over covid and even the year before because I stopped working to take care of my mom with cancer and homeschool my kids… And my husband would never not even for a minute make me feel bad about my weight granted he says something like where in overweight and a smoker I struggle with being as active as I once was and he will say babe… When your ready to lose this weight I support you… I outweighs him by I’m sure 100 lbs I’m also taller then he is but if he loves you he should never make you feel bad about your self men should relise encouraging us goes slot further…I’m sorry your going through this… this bothers me so bad my kids daddy would call me a fat ass and stuff and it got to the point My son would say hey fat ass… And I never relise how much it hurt me until years later after I left the relationship and now my son would never think to speak to me that way… My first Instinct is to jump to you defense sorry if anyone finds this offensive about calling him out

Communicate with him. Can’t believe the amount of “adults” commenting telling you to do immature stuff here to get back at him. Sure, what he’s doing is nasty & incredibly rude but biting back in a way to get down to his level is not the way. Definitely tell him it makes you feel uncomfortable, hurt & ugly & if he doesn’t genuinely understand that & apologise & stop his nasty behaviour then you need to show him how strong, incredible & beautiful of a woman & Mum you are & that you know you deserve better treatment.

You hang in there. Take care of yourself.

Punch him in the face


Tell him he really needs to take penis size enhancers again. Then kick him in the nads.

Omg leave tht nasty thing

How about “You are a jerk and I’m leaving you”. I bet that would be effective.

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Sorry but any man that says to me that I need to work out more… is getting a swift kick to the :peanuts: and I’d leave him.
If he actually loves you, he loves ALL of you and would never ever make comments like that.


Pinch his penis, and tell him he really needs to work on that. Make a sad face and walk away.
And then keep on walking away with your kiddo. And don’t look back

Explain to him that you miss going to the gym to work out and maybe he can find two hours, three days a week in which he can spend with your special needs child so you can go to the gym and work out. If he has no time to accommodate you with gym time, then the next time he is mean about you not working out remind him how cruel he is and can not watch your child and let you have them few hours a week dont let him guilt you. Hang in there and keep doing what you can to stay healthy


Ugh he’s a dick…that is NOT ok for him to do this shit to you. You should definitely confront him on it…never just take it…if need be hurt his feelings with telling him things that suck about his dumb ass…smh…you definitely deserve better Queen!

You can lose some quick weight by leaving his ungrateful ass :100::joy::muscle:t2::heart::heart:

My partner has been making comments about how much I eat or how my body is after my 4th kid (losing weight hasn’t been easy) and I ended up breaking down crying after the last comment he made to which he’s clearly taken a step back in regards of how his words make me feel. I would suggest confronting him about it because you should be able to have an open conversation with him about it.


Tell him his dick seams to be shrinking :purple_heart: you are beautifull fuck his shit eat more in front of him and when he says somthing throw ur plate in his face :joy:

I have been 130kg and currently 61kg.
Skinny isint “happy” it doesnt make you more beautifull .i actually miss having boobs lol now i have a flat chest i bang my hips on the counter or even the car door somehow its sore .woman need love handles im tryna put on weight because i got called skinny or my mum said i looked sick.i actually loved myself bigger i loved my boobs :joy: people started saying i was getting pretty big so i changed for the opinion of others not myself .now i still get called names because i lost weight …fuck everyone do what makes YOU feel good.

I went from a size 4/6 to a size 14 and my husband still tells me that he loves my body . Your husband is a jerk , pinch him back & point out all his flaws .


I’m fat and my husband has never said a mean thing about my body or the way I look or my 9 inch leg hairs. He tells me I’m beautiful and sexy and I am SO SORRY that you are dealing with that. I would literally make him cry….give it back to him, if he knows you struggle with it, then tell him you wish his dick was bigger or something. See how it makes him feel, and hopefully when you open his eyes to how hurtful words are, he will stop that bullshit.

Next time he says/ does that pinch/demeaning thing… reply OMG !! You’re right!!! Bye, I’m going now to work out!! Have fun with the kids. Don’t forget to clean the house !! Love ya BYE