Should I continue paying my sons bills?

This is a conversation you should be having with him as no one knows the full circumstances here. At 18, he’s still just a kid and there’s nothing wrong with helping out if you so wish. If he’s genuinely like, a rude, entitled and disrespectful person to you make him fend for himself. But I wouldn’t do anything without a long conversation with him first. Just cutting him off completely because he moved out seems like a spiteful retaliation to me. This really is a question super dependent on the circumstances.

2 Likes

I would, but only for a limited time. I would ask him if he needs some help and offer it for 3-6 months.

1 Like

His phone yes. That way he has a phone for work or call his mom, if he needs too

He is a legal adult, if he’s old enough to move out he’s old enough to pay his own bills

2 Likes

Nope. He’s stepped out to be his own man now. Let him be one. Stop payment.

Nope, if you can afford to move out at 18, you can pay your phone bill and car insurance :woman_shrugging:, moving out and becoming an " adult" comes with responsibilities you have to prioritize now. It’s called adulthood :sweat_smile: you live and you learn.

1 Like

No way! As soon as he decided to leave, he’s on his own.

Make sure your name isn’t on the insurance (which I would tell him he needs to get coverage and he’ll see how much it cost to pay) same with the cell and the car. Because If your name is on them your credit will be effected if he misses a payment or is late. But yes I would allow him to take on that responsibility we all had to do it at one point in our life.

Fuck that lol he’s an adult

1 Like

Nope as soon as they move out it is there responsibility just text them and tell them as of next month it’s yours

No he wanted the phone he should pay for it. Hes driving around in the car he wanted he should pay for it. The earlier he figures out hes responsible for these thing, he will better be able to manage himself. Hes a legal adult. Sink or Swim. Js

Give him some time, maybe for 60 days or something. We all know what’s it like to turn 18 and wanna move out and be on your own but we have no idea what that’s like until we actually do it. I think it will be a good experience for him to learn what it’s like living in the real world. Who knows maybe his attitude with change after that

1 Like

Nope he is 18 wants to be an adult let him cover his own bills

If it fits within your budget and isn’t causing you any struggle, in my opinion, it is ok to continue to support. This might aid him in successfully being on his own and becoming fully independent. Establish a time frame. Make it clear your support will be for another year so he is prepared to take over.

2 Likes

Nope, those are his bills.

It depends on how you want your relationship to go. Car insurance is necessary and something that could cause him a lot of grief if it lapses. A cell phone is communication. You don’t have to, but it would be nice. It may even go some distance to bridge the gap.

1 Like

At least warn him before you completely cut him off. Maybe tell him he has one more month. Cutting him off without warning would be very rude and would make things even more difficult on him.

I was 16 when I ran away and got married. “Because, nobody can tell me what to do I have a baby and I’m grown now!!”" DUMBEST thing I’ve ever Sayed in my life. I had 3 kids by the time I was 21. I’m STILL married to the same guy. I’m 43 now… and I truly believe it made me who I am today. I ended up taking care of my parents in the long run because they became disabled. Had I not became the person I did when I did…I wouldn’t have gotten the chance to take care of parents. But, truly…all in all I still think it was dumb of me to think I had to leave home to find my indepence. I just felt like the world was against me. But, in actuality my parents just wanted what they thought was best. Sometimes, we really do know the answer we’re truly seeking…we just need to ask it to make sure we’re confident in our choices. You really know the answer to the question you’re asking. You just want assurance you’re making the right choice. I say…let him find out what being an adult really is. By being an adult. He’ll either sink or swim. And if given the choice to bet… I’d say you’ll still be there if he started to sink. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be asking the question you already know the answer to

3 Likes

Well if he wants to move out and be a adult than tell him he’s has the rest of the month to figure it out on his own and stop paying for his stuff.

No hes 18 n moved out

If ya want to help him succeed, gradually give him each bill. Have the convo… in 3 months heres ya phone bill, in 6months here’s your insurance bill, so he has opportunity to prepare. He may be ready now and be glad to support himself.

2 Likes

No , his choice was to be an adult and move out so let him be an adult and pay his own Bill’s. My son made that decision too at 18 by the way of course when he needs help I help him but they chose to be adults treat them like adults

1 Like

Hell no he can pay his own shift

1 Like

I would say congrads on being an adult. I’m paying next month’s cell and insurance and my name will be off it after that. If you need me call me will do dinner.

3 Likes

Yes help him out hes trying isnt he, u know life Is hard

None of us can answer that for you…if you WANT to pay it then pay it. If you dont want to then dont.

1 Like

Do not pay for anything. He needs to grow up. Those are his Bill’s and you are absolutely not obligated to pay them whatsoever

1 Like

Heck no when you leave home you’re on your own :woman_shrugging: mom and dad are here to help if needed but we ain’t paying their bills.

2 Likes

Nope, both are technically luxuries.
The cellphone is it easy to live without, not so much but you can do it, and the car, well theres public transportation. Neither are super easy to live without, but lots of people do. Id give him a month notice and cut both off. If hes grown to leave home, hes grown to pay ALL his bills…thats what an adult does, you want to be an adult? There you go. And enjoy the extra money youve saved having your son out of the house.

Car insurance i would give him some time like a months or 2… cell phone nope…cell phone is for pleasure car insurance is a necessity

2 Likes

This was me at 17. I paid all my own bills. Give him a heads up you will not be covering his cellphone and insurance bills. Especially if it’s something you no longer want to do anyway.

No way. But give him a reasonable cut off date.

No he needs to learn self efficiency if he believes he is at the age to move out.

Give him notice that at the end of this month i am no longer paying for your phone or insurance and he needs to get a job. He made the decision to leave so he needs to start being responsible for his own bills

No… Give him a deadline for each and tell him after that date he must cover it. Do the car insurance 1 month then 1 or months later do the phone

If he’s a good respectful kid yes It will help him out so much a car insurance payment is grocery and gas money for a month for an 18year old a phone bill is the wifi payment or water bill i get the whole “prepare your kids for the real world” “teach responsibility” paying rent on the 1st and water electric wifi gas grocery why load more bills on your son if he’s already taking on responsibility?

Honestly as soon as he got a job he should have been taking those over

Well do you want to have access to keep in touch. And hes not legally an adult in some states til 21. So if hes in an accident no insurance then in some states you’d be responsible. I mean I know your upset at him. But I’d find out if Im legally still responsible for him at 18. Different states have different laws. Here where I live even at 18 they have to get emancipated to be considered a legal responsible adult or I’m responsible for them until they are 21.

None of us can really answer that. Give him notice that you are dropping him and he needs his own insurance maybe when this policy is over. His phone bill should be his. He wants to be an adult let him be an adult

When I moved out my parents still covered my car insurance and cell phone. I didnt expect it, and was always grateful for it. When I got my first car on my own I took over the insurance, but they kept me on their phone plan (it was cheaper all the way around since it was like a multi phone deal), I started giving them money every month to cover my portion of the phone bill once I got settled in. But I also left on good terms and they did it to help me out. Now if I’m able to and my kids leave on good terms, I’d be more than happy to do the same. But if it’s more of “I’m grown I can do what I want” then that’s on them…

1 Like

It depends on how comfortable you feel about paying it.
My mom made me move out at 18. But even before then I had to have a job and pay from my extra stuff. I didn’t have a cellphone until I was 18 and out my moms house and could afford it. I learned the hard way how to grow up. Been homeless a couple times but always got helped back up by my aunts.
My sons dad on the other had is 26 and quits every job because he knows his dad will pay his bills instead of letting him learn some responsibility.

In my opinion personally I would cut the cord. He made his choice to move out so let him learn he now has to take care of everything on his own. Teach him responsibility.
But at the same time if he falls on hard times I would be there to help him back up. Especially if it was a situation that was out of his control.
I see too many of my friends homeless because their parents don’t care if they fall on hard times. They refuse to even provide a roof over their heads even if they are supporting themselves and going to help with the household responsibilities.

No he’s 18 out of your place, he should pay his own damn business not u, he’s just a free loading off of u, put your foot down and tell him that he made the call when he moved out so it’s his responsibility to pay for his bills not yours, stick to your guns and don’t let him walk over u

Not at all. Give him notice that next payment is his to handle.

Absolutely not…time for him to grow up, be responsible & independent.

Why not at least give him a chance to get financially stable and on his feet better? Give him a deadline and then he can start paying.

2 Likes

I would say pay the cell because you want him to still be able to calm you and keep in contact because trust me he will- they all call and need or move home. Insurance well I would think like this if he pays it he can stay on if not he can get his own

No lol. My parents stopped paying for that even before I was 18.

I pay my son’s insurance cuz it’s a lot for his age then being on my account and same with the phone help out there is nothing wrong with it don’t push him away even more your still his mom don’t be a enemy

2 Likes

Nope. My 16yr old pays for all that stuff now. That’s my rule. If you want it, work for it. And he lives at home. But if any of my kids feel like packing and going when they’re 18, they’ll be taking their bills with them lol

He now is on his own. He needs to grow up. Let him pay his own bills. It’s not easy but he needs to learn on his own.

He’s off age so you don’t have to…but you are the parent so only you can make that decision!

Help him get on his feet and transition

1 Like

I payed my phone bill when I moved out but my dad payed for my car insurance until I was financially stable to pay for it plus all my other bills. I just had a kid though so he was pretty reasonable

Hell No! Take him off all bills… not your problem anymore… just make sure you tell him you’re canceling his insurance and make sure he gets his own within 30 days… some states require it and can put a warrant out for arrest if you don’t have it…and you have to pay a fine to get it back… my state does this it happened to my ex when i canceled him off my plan

Hell no he can pay his own bills

You should sit down with him and help him think about his finances. Personally, I don’t see anything wrong with you continuing to help him with some bills, if you can afford it. But you should be very clear that these are his expenses. Your assistance is to help him get control of his finances and is not a free ticket for him to blow money on other crap. I think establishing a budget and timeline with him is a good idea. If he is paying rent, utilities, handling groceries, etc, and working full time, he should learn how to support himself and budget for the expenses that eventually, you will no longer take on for him. If he’s unwilling to sit and go through all of that, then I’d just let him know he’s on his own if he’s not going to be smart and grateful for your assistance. It should never just be a handout. Kids can’t learn responsibility that way.

5 Likes

No, hes moved out hes 18… if he asks for help I would but not until then

I would make a plan. I would say something along the lines of you have 30/60/90 days and then I am removing you from such and such Bill so get your financial plan/budget in order

2 Likes

I’m torn on the advice to give but the best I have to offer is:
Despite your personalities clashing, if your proud of his efforts in being independent and he’s trying to make it on his own… Perhaps helping with the bills mentioned, may be a way of securing the small bridge between you two. Whether he jumps up an down for joy, I’d hope it’s appreciated on some level. And when he is financially stable, you can then give him a heads up that he will have to take on those bills.
If the worst case scenario happens and he resents you for pulling the money strings- you can feel better about yourself and comforted with knowing you did more than what was expected of you as a parent to your adult son.

2 Likes

If it doesn’t hurt you financially what’s the point in making it tougher for him than life already is. My kid studies great and therefore does not have to wait to inherit.

1 Like

No he wants to be grown let him

I would give him time to get a job if not one already and be prepared it is coming. My 18 yr old i just took to college. I pay his and my 20 and 15 yr olds phone. I want to always be able to get in contact with them qnd them a way to call for help if needed. My 20 ur old has aspergers and lives at home. Helps to pay some household bills here… So he helps. Im disabled and if I need help from them they ALL are happy to pitch in. Oldest doesnt drive so i drive him. I hqbe a nice phone plan for 4 lines anyways. My 18 yr old his grandma had him on her car insirance since he went back and forth from our houses. I think its a personal choice depending on individual circumstances. If my kids were acting like entitled spoiled brats… I may think differently. But mine are very responsible and come together for each other here.

Y did he leave? Was it “im grown” type of exit? I would only pay if left my home on a good note.

No, he wanted to move out and have the responsibility of being an adult and being independent. So, now its his turn. That’s part of being an adult, paying for your bills and expenses.

2 Likes

Depends. We pay our daughters car insurance and phone bill and will continue to do so until she finishes college. If he just moved out to work then let him pay them.

2 Likes

I’m half and half. If he left in a huff with the “I’m an adult” attitude, then I say make him take responsiblity.

3 Likes

That’s why I didn’t move out til I was 20 :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

1 Like

You shouldnt have to cover any of his bills. Anything you do once they are 18 is a gift. But, i would give him advance warning and perhaps a deadline to take over cell and insurance.

1 Like

I’d give him a month or 2 in advance to get his finances in order so he’s not left high and dry. You never know when he’ll need the phone for work or emergencies and you don’t want to be reason he doesn’t have it and lapses in insurance can make it spike and he doesn’t need that added stress when he’s just trying to navigate life.
If he doesn’t have the means to pay his own bills by the timeline you’ve given him then that’s on him at that point.

2 Likes

NOPE! If he’s set on being independent, Paying your bills is part of it! Just make sure he knows before he leaves

Sit down with him and set a date that he needs to take over the bills or have them cancelled…part of being an adult

Tell him, to pay them himself, he no longer lives under your roof, therefore no longer your financial responsibility. Now, if he asks for help, that is up to you to do so without him guilting you to do it.

If it’s not a burden for you I would pay them for a while. You decide how long you will help him out, let him know time frame and stick to it.

Car insurance I would still pay because most insurance companies still require adults on it

Nope! Even if he lived with you, you shouldn’t be paying

1 Like

Id give him 1 month to get himself stabilized and cut it off after that. Life is hard. :woman_shrugging:

2 Likes

nope… he wants to be on his own… well then let him be on his own. But let him know that he’s cut off from everything.

1 Like

This ones easy. No. And I have a son that was like yours. He wanted us to give him 1,000 to move out. Lol. Not. Dad gave him another option, he could go to college or join the military. He went in the navy as a intelligence specialist. Has been all over the world. Loves his job, been in for 8 years now. Still hates us for trying to make him take responsibility for himself, but maybe one day he will see that we only wanted him to use his talents instead of wasting them

2 Likes

Having a car and cell phone are luxuries so if he wants them he pays for the bills.

Eh it depends. I didnt switch off my parents cell plan until I was like 27 lol. Even though I was married in my own home. I still had a great relationship with my parents and still do but I’d have been fine paying for it. Do what you think is right :woman_shrugging:t2:

Nope… he moved out hes a big boy. Time to pay his own bills in the real world

3 Likes

Nope, time for him to take on his adult responsibilities.

2 Likes

Nope! Time for tough love. He wants to move out and do his own thing, make his own rules etc…he needs to pay for his things.

2 Likes

Nope 18 is grown if moving he can pay All his bills!!! No reason he wasnt before now!!!

2 Likes

I would give him a month to get situated and then its time to pay his own bills. Being an adult, moving out, doesnt make your parents obligated to pay HIS BILLS😳
He doesnt get it yet😂
you know why you dont get along. Dont let him take you for granted…
Good luck mom

2 Likes

Some of y’all sound bitter towards your own children. He just turned 18. He wants to explore life & be on his own BUT 18 year olds don’t have a clue about life. Help your kid out if you can! It’s hard enough in this life with everything else that a little help never killed anyone. If he’s TRYING then throw him some help. Some kids don’t even try to move out or do anything with themselves. At least while he figures out everything about life for the next few months.

7 Likes

He wants to move out and be an adult well let him be an adult and pay his own bills.

No! Once we left our parents home, we understood that extra support ended. Plus, I paid my own car payment, car insurance, and cell phone bill from day one! Not once did my parents pay that!

If it was his choice to move out ASAP …

If making him pay for those two things causes him to not be able to stay on his own and possibly have to move back home I would keep paying them . That way until he can financially afford them let it be . That way he can grow as a young adult and hopefully learn .

2 Likes

Always pay for his car insurance , God forbid he gets in an accident. He can pay his own phone bill, unless he promises to always call you everyday. Because once he moves out you will worry about him every night.

1 Like

No. He’s an adult. He moved out. No need to pay his bills any longer

I’ll bet you Parents didn’t pay yours…If he wants to be grown…Let him pay it…If you pay his bills he won’t learn much about life…And life ain’t EASY

1 Like

I can’t imagine ever saying, “we have never really gotten along” about my own child.
No you shouldn’t pay his bills, but you should definitely put some effort into y’alls relationship.

5 Likes

It’s really up to you but I wouldn’t personally, may cause more tension and could ruin a future relationship with him

Im the kind of person who wont keep paying for them, but im not going to stop without letting him know I am and when. Im going to do my part and let him know that he will have two new expenses to prepare for on this day so they dont blindside him because in the end i do want him to succeed.

Basically Mom wont pay for you, but I have hopefully prepared you in life to be ready for the new payments I let him know he is going to be making.

3 Likes

Until he is on his feet. I did this for all three of mine. And would do it again.

3 Likes

yes pay them so he has them or you may never hear from him

When you’re old enough to play you’re old enough to pay !

1 Like

Until he gets a better footing. Because those bills could be the reason he’d get evicted and coming back to your house