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No, people will hurt your kids just because they don’t like you. People are evil
This could never be me.
F***k them all! The grandma too!!
The end!
Absolutely not! If they are doing that to you to your face, I cannot imagine what they have done behind your back. You not your children should be subjected to that. How does your husband handle it? Does he stick up for you or stay quiet?
Wow I would have filed a tro, or something for communicating threats. That is not ok!
Yea no they do not see kids and husband better get balls and stand up for his wife or he can head down the road too
I wouldn’t, because if they’re abusive towards you, who’s to say they won’t take digs at your kids or put things in the kids heads about you, and people are so nutty they’ll mind f@$& your kids for things like looking like you, acting like you or just because theyre hateful mfs and want to flex their chest at you more by messing with your kids heads or worse. They’re obviously unstable and have shown you multiple times with their behaviors, I feel like if someone has no respect for me then they shouldn’t have access to my kids, especially alone or without my spouse present, because who knows what they’ll pull. If it’s not s problem with your husband keeping the kids away from them then keep doing what you’re doing, because i feel if he cared he’d have made time to take the kids himself over to spend time without you and doesn’t seem like the case.
Nope! If you cant respect me, then you cant see my kids. PERIOD!!!
Nope, hell no, you can’t respect me and your own son then you do not get the privilege of being in my child’s life!!! I am not letting my child see/spend time with anyone, relative or not, that I feel will physically harm my child or myself or that will hear any form of violence! Even as an adult if you were around someone that was speaking of harming someone you love you are going to be uncomfortable, scared, or nervous ect, can you imagine how scared a child would be if they heard their grandmother saying they were going to hurt their mom and dad and that they wished they were dead?!?!? The kid would be petrified!! No way I am putting my child through that for no one!! They couldn’t respect you and your husband while they were healthy they sure don’t deserve a free pass just because they are sick, old, dying etc!! They’ve been a jerk the entire time you’ve been together they are going to continue to be a jerk in their death. Do not subject your children to that nor yourself, they do not deserve it!
No, get a restraining order instead
If they are making threats and treating you ugly I wouldn’t put my kids through that fuck them all
I don’t believe you are wrong. They made their choices.
No. I wouldn’t want people like that around my kids.
No. People who don’t respect the mother shouldn’t be around the kids.
No, the are abusive and have not learned anything!
Your job and husband’s is to keep them safe and away from that kind of abuse…
Nope. Family doesn’t mean you have to allow the abuse! Stop the cycle. Don’t allow it!
Absolutely not. That’s not a healthy environment for your kids
Nope. You so t owe them anything.
Why don’t your husband say something just saying
Fuck no!!! Keep them away
Your family and happiness comes first. Protect your children
Why do they hate you? No I would keep up what you are doing. Tell them that as long as they treat you like they do they ca nt see your children after all you have feeling too
Nope. I wouldn’t care how much “health related” stuff was going on… If you can’t be supportive and caring when you are healthy, I won’t be when you are sick.
Keep your children protected. They don’t need to hear or see what that family does to you. You go alone to whomever is having health issures. Your kids will wonder why they talk to you like that , or maybe they might think you should be talked to like that. Don’t give them a chance to think the later part. As long as you and your husband have a great happiness then don’t worry about how they feel.
Always protect your kids no matter what
Death changes people.
That being said, how old your kids are plays a factor. If they’re younger I wouldn’t expose to them to the situation at all due to the past history with them.
If they’re older, let them decide for themselves.
No…don’t put your kids into a toxic situation x
No that’s not family I’d banned them and forget about them. Threats and cruelty should not be tolerated from anyone!
Hell to the no!!! Protect your children not adults bad behavior!
That’s something THEY should have thought of.
I have questions that don’t change my response to the actual question but probably raise other issues (at least in my mind).
Short answer-No, you do NOT change anything to allow your in-laws access to your kids simply because someone is sick/dying or because someone has died.
You cut access to the in-laws not as a punishment for their atrocious behavior but to protect your kids/family (I am assuming anyway). If that behavior hasn’t changed, there’s no reason to believe that you don’t need to continue to protect your kids/family.
Here’s where I have questions… you said that they “wished WE were dead…”. Who is the “we” in that? It’s bad enough to wish YOU were dead, but if they’re wishing death on the kids too- that’s a very definite cut all ties situation.
Where is your husband in this? If my husband’s family ever expressed that they wished me dead- HE would have cut all contact. If that extended to our kids- I can promise you, they would be dead to us and they wouldn’t even have the ABILITY to tell us someone was sick/dying/dead.
I’m assuming that your kids are young. That almost makes it easier because you can break away without them experiencing too much drama. But if his family is making threats against you (and the kids?) then you ALL need to cut all contact- I’m sorry but even your husband. If he continues contact with the people threatening his family, it comes across as condoning it (to them).
If it’s me- and EITHER of our families “joked about jumping” anyone or wished ANY of my family dead- they would 100% be dead to me and I know my husband feels the same way. Not everyone will like everyone. But if someone we love marries someone we don’t like- we owe it to our loved one to be respectful. We DEFINITELY owe it to our loved one NOT to threaten them!
 no they would be dead to me!
Nope. Stay away from that situation.
absolutely not. I see them using that to their advantage somehow.
It’s their choice they made it by being disrespectful id not allow my kids around what so ever
Toxic toxic toxic. Stick your ground mama! If they can’t respect you, your rules, and your family’s boundaries. They DO NOT get the privilege of knowing your kids. Period.
Someone hear who has walked in ur shoes I say NO!it wont change anything and you will still be u happy while everyone else is.i would tell my husband its ur family if u choose to be there thats on you but when things dont go as planned thats on you if kids are young u gotta make decision for them that best fits the situations funerals a different story pay respects no matter what you cant get that back at that point it about supporting ur spouse as far as parties it depends as spouse how they feel and Co from there weddings baby shower et. Important events I always invite all to be the bigger person cause often kids are victim to the issues miss our on cousin time but ultimately its up to u to do whats best for ur family at first it wasnt like this married for 27years now and I. Changed it up to whats suits myself and my household but under no reason should anyone talk bad about u to kids if they do i keep away hope this helps good luck
Nope. Do NOT change your mind! Your reasons are very valid. Cruelty and threats should not be tolerated. I’m thinking your husband stands behind you and agrees with you, because I would think you would say otherwise, so no worries there. Stick to your guns and trust yourself
No. Protect you and your family. That’s all that matters. You’re not married to his family.
No I keep my kids from my ex’s family they are so toxic trust me you are doing them a favor
Wow, all the drama. How can people live like this.
No you don’t have to. You don’t have to tolerate that and neither should your kids have to listen to it
Nope, they are toxic af and do you really want them around your kids?
Hell no. I’d forget they exist all together.
 you already know exactly how everyone’s going to answer just by the way you wrote this post…
My question is why even ask for advice if you’re not gonna tell the whole story?
Because what I’m reading is you don’t let them around his family because they don’t like you… they’re disrespectful to you, but it’s all about you.
What about your kids? Do you not care that they don’t get to know their dad side of the family? so what if they don’t like you, Who really cares what their opinion is, The fact is that’s family and they don’t treat the kids wrong. You’re the one who’s putting the kids in the middle. By using them as pawns, you don’t like me so I’m not bringing my kids around. 
But we only know your side so… 🤷🏻♀️
You don’t owe them anything. If they want to see the kids more then they need to behave right.
KEEP THEM AWAY! period!
No, absolutely not! They are toxic and sound dangerous. I would keep them apart and I would even go as far a protection order if they make any further threats. Protect yourself and your children.
Nope. That’s on them.
Hell no, my babies would only be able to be around them if you were with them! Some families are just so toxic and your kiddos do not need to have them in their lives!!
You and your husband are their parents, you make the rules! They need to look themselves in the mirror and realize they are the issue!! Good luck girl, stay strong 
Does your husband interact with them? I should hope he doesn’t. He shouldn’t tolerate his family’s treatment of you. Take those letters and other messages to the police - they are threats and harassment. Do not let your kids around such foul people as they could corrupt them. Move away if at all possible. They have legal hold over you and have no legal rights to see your kids. Why would you want your kids around people who have no respect for you and wish you dead. Even if they say “only joking”, there’s always some truth in the joking.
Very simple, No. They made there bed.
Absolutely not. Sad shit happens, people die, that does not excuse that kind of behavior and is no reason to jeopardize you and your children’s safety.
You shouldn’t trust them with your children . If they treat you like that , they will just spew evil in to your kids and your kids should never hear someone talk about their mom like that . And if you do give them visits make sure it’s supervised by a 3rd party and your self .
You are a parent. Your job is to PROTECT your children from negative and toxic people. Sorry there is a health issue now, but you do not need the drama! Take care of yourself and your children.
A simple answer here, F*CK NO to them. Keep your babies away from those miserable weirdos.
No way; keep that toxicity way the hell over there; it’s their own fault you pulled away & pulled your kids away as well; shame on them; sending love♥️
Cut them out!! You don’t need to take the abuse. And your husband is wrong if he thinks you should tolerate it. Do not let them see those kids. They are toxic and hard telling what they’d try to do to those kids mind.
If it was me, I would continue doing what you are doing. I would let the kids send cards though. You need to protect your self and your family
They are horrible, toxic people. Why would you even consider allowing them around your children? NEVER!
No because if they’ll do that behind your back, then they’ll do that in front of your kids. You don’t need people disrespecting you behind your back or in front of your kids.
Their clearly bullying you to try n get you to bend to their will thru any means necessary inc guilt abuse etc Do NOT give in to their BS they clearly are NOT worthy & would only be detrimental to you & your kids bcuz ill bet any $$ 1 of 1st things theyll do is bad mouth & try to turn kids against you!
No they have right to see there grandparents don’t begrudge your kids of knowing there grandparents
Just because they’re “related” doesn’t make them family and it especially doesn’t make them entitled to anything. I would file harassment complaints and get their asses in trouble. And just because health issues arise doesn’t mean anything, that’s just karma working her magic. They decided to treat you like shit and take things way too far, life is just finally giving them what they deserve, let them have it. All alone. Respect yourselves and your kids. They are narcissistic, all of them. If anyone, not even family, has a problem with a boundary you set, that’s a THEM problem. They don’t like to see someone they view as a door mat standing their grounds, they want to tear everything away from you, that’s how those kind of people are. They did all these awful things under the impression “well if she didn’t do yadayada than we wouldn’t have to do this, so it’s your fault you brought this upon yourself”, that mentality is so toxic and overwhelmingly draining, being a mom is tough on its own you don’t need people like that making life even more stressful for you AND your kids, because people like that will do it to anyone they want, kids as well and your babies deserve better than that. I hope everything turns out for the best for you all🖤
Once a snake always a snake
Nope. Toxic people don’t deserve to be around you or your kids even if they are “family”. You teach others how to treat you so you are right in not subjecting yourself or your children to the abuse. They need to know it’s abuse and not ok or they may normalize it and think that’s what they deserve too.
Keep those that care about you in your life and forget the others. I’m speaking from experience.
I cut out all of my own family minues my brother and sisters. After my mom passed they treated me like I was the shittiest person alive. Almost lost my second pregnancy because of them. It’s been two almost 3 years of not talking to them and WHEW that initial feeling of missing them is gone, and I just feel so much better. No negativity or drama from them ! To be honest, I’m not the only one that’s cut them out either. I was adopted into their family (been with them since I was 4, my sisters were 13 months and 2 and my brother was 8 days) but some of their BIOLOGICAL family members did the same! Trust me, keep them out. You aren’t a avillian. You have boundaries that they have crossed and until they apologize and change that behavior they don’t deserve to know you or them precious children
If they’re acting like that they don’t deserve visits
NOPE! You’re doing the right thing by keeping them away. Blood does NOT equal family.
Your kids will be so much better off in the long run. Without them. Sounds toxic asf. Your there mother and your married whether they like it or not. If they can’t except that and respect you as there mother and his wife. Then there really not worth it. life is too short for people like that in your life. So don’t waste no sleep over it. Xx
If you accept the abuse now you will regret it later. Your children will get impacted from their disrespect. Don’t allow it. Your guts are guiding you on the right path. Just listen to it and you will be fine. What others say…. Does it really matters in a hundred years? 
I wouldn’t allow them to be around if they were threatening you joking or not.
I personally wouldn’t. I don’t care if you have any kind of health problems if you don’t except my family you don’t get access to them.
No don’t let anyone disrespect you especially in front of your children! Keep the no contact relationship going!
They are the evil ones, not you. yes, stay away from that.
dont let any one treat you bad, its your family, your husband you married and had children with, not the in laws, and extended famoily, keep your children, from the negitive and love them,
I have a few questions
How old are your children? How mature are they for their age? Can they/will they stand up for themselves?
You are your children’s voice, protector, hero. However if they are at the age/maturity level where you can present the facts to them and let them have a voice.
This sounds like a sick bunch
Steer clear and stay happy
Don’t take your kids around toxic people whether they’re alive and well or dying and in the grave.
Really won’t make a difference what’s the point In bring them around sick miserable they are better off not knowing them at all
Get a restraining order…
Just because of their title does not mean they are entitled to your kids. Hurting you hurts your kids, protect your kids and yourself!
The greatest lessons sometimes appear questionable but trust me your children will come to appreciate the firewall you reinforced around them to protect them from malignant psychology (family or not), stand your ground-protect your kids
Absolutely not! I’d cut them off for good, block them, whatever I had to do. Those kids deserve better than to hear their momma threatened and disrespected.
Keep them away!!! They are the true meaning of toxic!
You have NO NEED to have TOXIC people in your life or your children’s lives. PERIOD!
Toxic! Keep them kids away. They that crazy Then you don’t know what they may do to the kids
Hell NO!! If they hate you that much, keep your kids away and safe from them. It is not your problem what goes on in their family as far as health issues or deaths and your kids don’t need to be exposed to hatred and negativity coming from that family. If it’s been 6 years already it sure isn’t going to change besides it would be hypocritical of you to give in just because someone is sick when you really don’t want to. It would be like going to a funeral and crying for someone you hate just to pacify other people and look good. Besides all that you don’t want all those haters whispering bad things about you to your children. I’d erase them from my life completely. 
Prayers they turn around no room for hate:pray:
They are not family. Family doesn’t act like that. So no.
Absolutely not!!! If they were that worried about it then they should have been cordial to you before they got sick and had limited time left…their loss…never have your children around someone that doesn’t respect you or treats you bad… what would be the point of letting them be around them for a limited time?? So that’s all they’ll remember? They should have been around for good times so they could have those memories…let that go…
Your husband should have put a stop to it. The kids didn’t need to see it , hold your ground! Been there!
Not at all don’t be quilted into forcing a relationship that could be toxic to your children .they don’t respect you they won’t respect your children.
That’s a hard no for me they’d be cut off forever…. not family just blood related
Heck no. They can stay TF away. Don’t put up with their 
. Health issues or not, their disgusting behavior is the result of not seeing the children, totally on them.
Protect your kids from this evil and yourself. I would keep a log of every time they say something or do something that seems evil. Threats even jokingly. Beware.
Keep them toxic, disgusting, abusive people out of you and your children’s lives, if your husband wishes to still communicate with them after they have threatened physical violence against you and have caused emotional and mental abuse, that’s his choice (not that I’d be happy with it) you only owe continued support, love and understanding to your children. Do not engage, keep your peace, boundaries and health. They do not get access to you or your children because they are related by dna, that’s something abusers love to hold against the ones they abuse “we’re family, so you have to” no one HAS to put up with any type of abuse
Who ever comes in contact with your children will either plant seeds of life or death. Protect your kids from them because even if they say it as a joke it can have a negative affect on them. Do not apologize for being your children’s mother,protecter, defender, or voice. Do what is right for you family and do it unapologetically
I think the grief of your loss could be changing your mindset. It usually makes people more forgiving and reach out to people they usually wouldn’t. That being said, if these people are talking bad about you to your children that could be harmful to their development. This is your decision, but please try to step back and look at the situation. Grief could be clouding your judgement. Sometimes it can bring people closer together, which is great, but it needs to be mutual. There needs to be a change of heart on both sides
It’s not good for people to disrespect you in front of your children. That teaches them bad habits and could make them disrespect you, too.
I certainly wouldn’t. You’re kids don’t need to be around any hateful people