You need counseling & to permanently & completely remove anyone from your life that doesn’t enhance it. It doesn’t matter that you are blood relatives, if they do not love, support & encourage you & yours unconditionally (which is what should be happening), then remove them. You don’t hurt the ones you love, you nurture, guide, mentor & assist them. Good luck.
Put so much distance between you and her. And quick. Your son doesn’t deserve to be treated that way by anyone. Grandparent or not!
My advice is to what you feel is best for you and your son, everyone else can get along without you.
I don’t really talk to my mom she called two days ago and talked to my toddler then told me off Idk what I did wrong my whole life has been that way no relationship just arguing with me and telling me negative things now she doesn’t want me near her anymore
So you eventually become the toxicity you surround yourself with. That includes family. If you see a better life for yourself you need to take care of yourself.
Not wrong! Protect your kids from any and all that would do them harm!
Snip snip, she handed you the scissors. X
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First im sorry that your sick mother has done that to you and has led you to make this choice but as I see it it your children (child) will unfortunately already have to deal with shit like that in the real world. FAMILY is supposed to be there for love and SUPPORT so any way my opinion would to be to stay away from oh mommy dearest you nor your child needs that and as far as the other family members go they will come around unless they are all also that ignorant good luck to you and your sweet boy 
Not wrong at all! Honestly this broke my heart because I felt like you were telling my story for a minute. And I had cut my mom off for 6 months as well. The only difference is she loves my daughter and anytime me and her argue it’s hard to keep her away because of that. So I just try to find it in myself to forgive her but it’s hard. I will always love her. She has put me through so much and in your case I would have definitely cut her off. There’s nothing wrong with putting yourself and especially your child above anyone else, even family. Having that kind of relationship takes an emotional and mental toll on you. Its exhausting. Sometimes you just need to know when enough is enough. So you are definitely NOT WRONG
If all that you have written was written with a honest viewpoint, then of course you know exactly what you must do. Again, if this is as balanced as possible, why would you even hesitate at completely eliminating her?
Everything else In life, including family turned against you, is a horrible thing to even weigh into the equation: child first. period. protect child first. period. protect special needs a million times more first. period.
There is nothing left to consider.
You’re not wrong, your feelings are always valid. I would distance myself from that kind of toxicity. It’s not okay for you or your children to be around that environment…even if it is your mom. You’re a grown woman and can set boundaries with anyone, period! I would say try to have a talk with her about your feelings but from the sound of things it probably will only make things worse. You have children and your own mental health to think of and put first. It’s okay to cut toxic people off, even if it is family. I wish you the best of luck and hey, if you ever need to vent….I’d be more than happy to be there for you. You got this! 
my mother suffered greatly due to mental health issues in turn we as children suffered with her. then we were all taken separated and i was raised w/o her. i was angry for how i was brought up unprotected by her and her choices. so my first child was raised not knowing her. my mothers illness allowed her to behave and speak very harshly and bluntly without concern for others feelings, the illness caused her to lack empathy she never understood why someone was angry or sad or mad and she either loved you or hated you sometimes in the same day. my other 3 children were allowed to get to know her with rules
- you will never raise your voice to my girls we will leave
- you will never raise a hand to my girls we will leave forever
- if you want to continue our visits you will behave accordingly
and if not we will leave
my younger children got to know a person i fid not know. im thankful. my kids got to smile and laugh and gave memories no one else could give them but her. yes she had an illness and we treated her with terms she could understand. my mother slowly and terribly suffered and sometimes i regret not having more time. now you mom has zero rights to put down or bash your children you are their sole protector you need to do what you feel is safe for them. i just miss my crazy ass scary ass moma sometimes. but you already know in your heart what needs to be done now.
No you are not wrong about staying away from your mother and family that believe everything she says. Ask yourself are you and your children happier not having nothing to do with your toxic family? If the answer is yes you are happier and less stressed you did the right thing. You and your kids come first. No one should call a kid a f*****g r****d whether they have a handicap or not. Children are all smart in their own way.
Regardless of it being your mum or dad or sister or brother. If someone is toxic and causing you more bad then good cut them out of your life. You do not need that type of toxicity in your life from anyone.
I couldn’t just cut my mom out my life no matter what but I would keep my distance. I would still want to know if she’s ok and how she’s doing.
I haven’t talked to my mom in 4 years. It’s the right decision.
If she reaches out to you, you could agree to see her but not your kids. If you decide to see her you can lay down that boundary and tell her I won’t see you anymore if you’re going to lie about me to the family and say abusive things. If you decide to lie and do that then you are chosing to leave me, because I won’t be subjected to that. So make this her choice, put it on her. If she can respect you, you could consider a second chance with your kids after she regains trust and proves herself. If she can’t, she knows and has decided her fate. Because she is family, it warrants extra consideration to try and save a modicum of the relationship. But If it can’t be saved, let her own the decision to leave you. Mental illness is horrible. Boundaries In that relationship is everything. You have to love her the way she needs to be loved not the way you want to. I’m terribly sorry you’re going through this . I wish you the very best.
My late dad told me
If someone or something hurts you get it out of your life or them out of you life
And even though it’s hard to do these things sometimes it’s for the best,
I really don’t think there is any possitives in this relationship all it will do is destroy you and your child
And who knows what damage the name calling will do to him
I would get away move away if you can and don’t let them know where you are
Live your life look after number 1 and be happy with your baby
Best wishes xxxx
My Mother was like that too, I read in the Bible when I was struggling with honor they Mother and father, Parents do not provoke your children. i gave myself permission to Divorce my self and my children and husband from her abuse! I stayed away, I tired a few times through the years it never worked so I forgave her insanity and ended the relationship! I feel good even though she has passed away. No guilt!
Yes cut her off. Kids first honey. Maybe she will get some help in the meantime you raise them babies as you are an amazing mom and I know it’s hard not to have the support of a mother. Trust me I know. But your kids come before anyone and don’t leave them alone with her. Ever for any reason
As someone who has gone NC with my father, and after almost 2 years of NC I have to say that it has been an extremely healthy action to take.
Sometimes we can’t be there or involved with people even if they are blood - even if they are our parents.
My father has the perspective that he is god because he ‘made me’ - these were his words.
My father is a narcissist - I didn’t want to believe it - it’s taken many years for me to come to terms with the fact that he is a mentally unwell person and… even though he’s my dad, I can’t be involved with him because the love and respect I had for him shattered in my very early years.
There are situations like this we can’t solve. There are people we can’t heal or connect with because they won’t let us.
Your mother’s actions and words show a level or hurt and anger but also she is an adult - and as your mother she should act as your mother, not treat you and your lovely son like trash because she feels put out.
Unfortunately we can’t pick our family.
My advice is, if it has always been difficult it is likely to continue.
If contact upsets you and interferes with your mental health, I’d take the path of silence.
And big hugs to you and your son. He is perfect and you are too.
Your mother’s words and actions are not your fault and you don’t need to heal her xx
I say only let her visit with your child supervised by you or someone you trust deeply, and take notes what is said and review it with that person. If u decide to tell your parent what she needs to do to stay in the kids life. Give her boundaries like she gave you as you grew up. If she refuses tell her the cons she may change her way, if not kick her out of your life temporarily, I’m sure she’ll come back once she misses her grandchild enough and go with the agreement… if not then it’s probably for the best for now
I think that you need to distance yourself from your mom and her toxic ways. She’s horrible to your son and to you. Unfortunately, just because you have the same blood running through your veins does not make you family. Your family should be the people you allow in your life that support you and you them. Please don’t be afraid to reach out for the help you’ll need to deal with the past abuse directed at you so you can move forward with strength and determination. Sending you healing prayers.
OK for a start if your mother is telling lies about you then she is telling lies about everyone to everyone.She sounds like a compulsive lier that has no control over what she says or does it is a mental problem they truely believe what they say is true plus they feel by saying these things it will make them more important .IT DOESN’T as everyone knows that they lie .Do not be afraid to face family as you will find you all have the same in common .That mum has this illness about lieing and making up stories .Try you best to be happy and avoid her when you don’t have the time or patients to deal with this’
Due to mental illness l finally had to cut my mother from my life.
Sadly it happens.
Time to Take Care Of YOUR Self and your child.
Learning we can’t control or cure other people is an important step in life.
Good luck!
My mom died and l hadn’t seen her for a year. I was sad, but toxic is toxic. I don’t regret my actions.
I haven’t seen my daughter for 3 years. She works in the same suburb. She won’t go near me or my wife. Yet she talks to her sisters
She sounds very toxic it might be best to cut her off
You are entitled to do whatever you want. Those are hateful things to say and that behaviour is shocking. I’d be inclined to agree with you simply because she won’t get help.
All I will say is, be careful though that you don’t live to regret it. Someday she will pass away and though you feel the way you do now, you might miss the chance to make things better. If she has mental issues, she may not be in full control.
That’s heartbreaking. Your mother is likely a narcissist. I had a mother like that. Before she died she told family members crazy stories about me. It’s been hell. You can’t stop the hateful stories and you can only hope they don’t continue to do damage. People like your mother have a need to make up stories about their kids so they can have an explanation to why they are miserable. They want attention like toddlers and will destroy anyone even their kids to get it. Best to stay away and protect yourself and your child. No matter what you will always be the bad one who’s to blame.
Too bad your son hasn’t reached up and slapped her in the face! By accident? Or not? That would shut her up? I have a niece who is going through the same thing with my older sister. The names they call each other are sad to hear and watch. So, our place is the neutral spot to hang out each Christmas or when she decides to visit. That is all you can do is reach out to someone in the family who knows you and sees this play out. Just remember it’s not your fault. Just stay away for 4 months. To see how you feel. Work on yourself. But no gifts, no phone calls, no visits.
Sometime you need to cut out people from you life that are toxic. Sorry to hear she is like that.
Calling a child names is my cut off point.
I did, twice. Once when I was 7 and then again in my 30s. She deserves it. I’d befriend her and do it all over again if it meant she’d learn a damn thing. My daughter is actually friends with her on Facebook, just so she can block her later to teach her a lesson (and to let me know if she’s posting anything I should be worried about - long story). I don’t really approve of that but if you knew my mother you wouldn’t think it’s that bad, kinda hilarious actually but that’s just my opinion.
No you are being a good parent. You didn’t pick your mom.
Your mother was obligated to raise you until you’re 18…After 18 you’re on your own don’t feel bad just go on with your life all the other family will realize it is her not you
Remove your child/children from your toxic mother-it’s your first responsibility to protect them from her abuse -if you don’t do it now you’ll live to regret it 
I have an Autistic child and that would have warranted a good boot to the butt! No one talks to my kid like that, no matter who you are.
She is hurting the ones you love so it can hurt you that’s her way to get back at you
Cut from the root .what good brings this person to your life? That ain’t a mum!!!
Tell her that you need her in your life…to guide you in the challenges you are facing. You love your child…and you should. Your child should not be a victim of unsuredness. In the end you will realize what life is…to help others grow. Especially those who do not deserve the unwanted challenges in life.
Just because they are family doesn’t mean you can’t remove toxic people from your life
You have every right to drop anyone out of your life that is toxic to you and your family.
Set boundries for sure. You are an adult now. I had to with mine or she wouodve stayed abusive.
Tell her if she does not change her attitude about your son and correct her lies she can stay away. Period.
Cut her off and do not spend one single second more thinking of her. 
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Vent, pray and forgive, for your peace. You and your family deserve peace. The best repay is happiness and peace. Stay close to the Lord.
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Aww god bless you. Heartbreaking.
Only you can decide but my decision would be is to stay clear of them and continue to devote your time to your beautiful son. X
Toxic. Stay away from your mom & pray for her. Don’t let her mistreat your son.
So sorry to hear about your mother. Even tho I know it’s hard I think you are doing the right thing. I pray some day your mother will get some help
She doesn’t love herself, therefore she can’t love you or your children. She doesn’t deserve to know your sweet boy!
leave her behind and move on. you dont need that in your life to exist. best thing i ever did!
Your wrong to even let her still be involved in his life. She’s made her intent and feelings well known
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If she gets help otherwise protect yourself and your son.
and never apologize for your feelings!
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You said you believe she has mental health issues, i wouldn’t hold those things against her, but i would remove her away from the kids permanently. If you see her around, treat her as you would any mentally unstable person (small talk, escape plan). It takes a lot to dismiss her prior behavior but if you’re acknowledging shes mentally hindered then you gotta let that shit go and say goodbye to the mother you knew and accept the stranger shes become. Treat her accordingly but also keep her at a distance.
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She’s a mean person. I wouldn’t look back. Walk away.
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her off completely. She sounds toxic asf.
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Walk away for your own survival
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Damn. I’m autistic and that’s fucked up of her to say about your kid.
No one like that deserves space in your life!
Keep yourself and child safe that’s all that counts
Trust me you will feel 1000x better cutting her out
Remember… Autism is genetic… your mum is a carrier… as are we all…
As sad and hard it is, sometimes you have to walk away from, family. I stopped talking to my dad almost 7 years ago. I needed too for my own sanity and know in my heart, that I made the right decision.
Dump her you would be better off and if you can move make it a long distance for a new start
Just be the strong woman that you are even if you doubt it and you do what you need to do
Don’t let guilt or family ties stop you from cutting out a toxic person 
My own father clearly has mental issues after years of heavy drug abuse. He was a domestic abuser and still is a master manipulator and somehow now years later manages to make me feel guilty for cutting him out of my life. I’ve given him many chances but sometimes the only thing you can do is cut them out. Your children are more important as is your own mental health. Don’t beat yourself up over what you probably know is the right thing to do x
Toxic people (regardless of your connection to them) have to be removed… Life just is too short…
Nope . .keep toxic away from you and your babes …your doing right. Keep your mental straight…
Tell your mom piss off and walk away, tell your family believe what you know not what you hear
I was so ready to come on here and try to preach understanding. That people with mental health issues, though they need patience, are responsible for getting help. But then I read what she did to your son. CUT. HER. OUT! That kind of behavior towards a child is inexcusable, with or without mental illness.
If your mom has mental issues that’s the problem. And you being her child there should be some way you could get her help. If her mind is not right. She needs help. Just like your son can not help he is autistic. She has no control either. And as far as her family. Instead of yall be in g at odds on all this. Yall need to join forces. Get this lady help. And as far.as her saying you are on drugs. If you are o. HEROIN everyone will know it sooner or later. Dont worry about it. The truth always comes out either way. Dont waste time on worrying about things said of you that are lies. You will worry your life away.
That’s entirely up to you. Sounds like she needs help.
She is toxic. My brother is like that and I finally cut all ties 4 years ago. Best decision I ever made. Don’t be afraid to do the same.
Stay far away. I’ve done this with my mother many times
Yes keep yourself distance from her because only 10% the child will get from parents and thd remaining percentage will be with environment so part of your environment and childs environment is important to have good mental state. Anyway she still ur mother watever happen but keeping away for your own good and child is outmost important.
Get rid of ‘grandma’ 
You are 100% correct. Cut her off.
You are to protect your child from people like this even if it’s your mom so just stay away you both will survive
Could be the health condition causing this or get reading done from holy person
Stay far away, and keep ur family away
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Just cos theyre blood, or even a parent dont mean they can’t be cut off. Period.
Cut ties and never look back 
I did like 15 yrs ago and life improved dramatically for me 
Drop her!!! I would’ve done the minute she called my child a f…g r…d. And not looked back.
She would be dead to me for calling my child a name like that!!! F her
Get those toxic people out of your life. ASAP
This will sound harsh….I felt relieved when my mother passed away. She was mean, hateful, toxic and vindictive. So glad I’m free of her. Do what’s best for you. Family we don’t get to choose……we can cut them out like cancer if they’re harmful.
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I would think that anyone that knows her, knows she’s a liar and if they believe her, you don’t need them in your life
Youre mum is toxic,take you’re power back and cut her out of you’re life,you’re child does not need that person in their life,she doesn’t think twice to have a go at you and now she’s starting on you’re child,definitely better off without her in you’re life
People believe that just because they’re blood we have to force a relationship. Toxic people are just that whether family or not but we feel guilt if we cut a family member out especially a parent. As your children’s parent you are their biggest advocate and cheerleader. I don’t give a flying fuck who you are if you’re going to say such terrible things to a child then bye bitch don’t let the door hit your arse om the way out. Think back to when you were a child did you go through something similar and your mum just let it go? Also, about her mental illness, I have severe depression, anxiety and ptsd. I would never do anything like that. People like to think that it’s mental illness when in fact some people are just mean horrid beings. You be your kids champion and tell your morher to fuck off.
The answer is yes. Cut off ANYONEEEE who disrespects you or your family. Even loved ones can be hateful and toxic to your life. Cut off anybody who threatens your happiness or peace. Send a text once in a while, do your part and wish them well but that’s it. You shouldn’t have to handle any kind of disrespect or belittling
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Your mom is a toxic person, run away and don’t look back. Pray for her. She’s probably a narcissist.
When you treat a child that way, all bets are off. She crossed the line. Enjoy the peace you’ll have.
She is toxic!
For your sanity and to protect your son, stay away from her!
Hey she gave birth to you. I loved my Mother even with human faults. She worked hard, sewed all my clothes. Fed us, kept a nice home, loved my Daddy so much. Go easy, you may not be so perfect. Quit the bad talk. Go get a hobby, get one good friend, go to Church. Forgive yourself. Be kind and understanding. I am old. I love all my imperfect relatives.
I suggest counselling not sure if your mother behaved like this when you were growing up if so she sounds like a narcissistic human being if not it might be her mental issues sounds pretty bad that rest of the family support her you must set boundaries if she can fathom that n work on your self esteem too hon. Good luck
Nope. That is totally unacceptable and I’d be kicking her to the curb asap!! She is toxic and u don’t need someone like that in his life who will speak like that about her own grandson!! She doesn’t deserve a relationship with him, and he doesn’t deserve to have such a nasty toxic b^#ch making him feel bad!! 
CUT HER OUT. Nobody should ever be able to be that way towards your child, do not allow it, protect your child.
You dnt have to stay in touch with family just because of that
What you need to make sure your happy with your life and only have people around you that love you and make you happy dnt need to be bloody family …your only got your self to be happy take care hugs
Leave her and never look back!! It’s ever okay to say the things that she has said, about ANY CHILD. I’d cut anyone out of my life who spoke of any child that way. It’s just terrible. But you have already faced not having a great relationship with her which is very hard to go through with a parent. You got this. Either educate her ass or drop her