it seems they dont like you that much. And they showed that. Your daughter depending on her age, doesnt know she was left off the program. Seriously, now you know for sure how they feel about you.So you are using your 4 year old who doesnt even realize she was supposedly slighted . Its your feelings that were hurt…not the child. Besides you two arent legally married … anyway. what does your boyfriend think of this?
Maybe it was an oversight? Maybe speak to your boyfriend directly about this being doing anything rash. Also, you mention other ‘girlfriends’ were mentioned, but I wonder if they are just girlfriends or actually fiances, or otherwise offically engaged and weddings are in near future to those other men. And since you are not married or engaged to your boyfriend you are not technically family and normally only family is listed in obituaries.
You seem to indicate there gave been other issues in the past, but don’t mention anything really. So it is hard for anyone but yourself to know the real situation and give real opinions. But I’d suggest again, talk to your boyfriend and maybe other members of the family you have been close to these past 4 years.
Talk to you boyfriend about it tell him you are hurt by being excluded. If he doesn’t want to stand up for you I don’t see a good outcome. Does the family include you and your daughter? If not it is looking bad.
I agree with Kal. Cut your losses and move on whole your daughter is young. If the boyfriend is a real man he will know why you ate hurt and will come after you and will make it right. Of he does not show up there is your answer.
I say since your daughter is not your BF’s daughter than you actually aren’t family. I wouldn’t have expected to be in the obit.
I can totally understand how would be feeling,but if it were me I would just suck it up and move on,not worth the drama.
Since he’s just your boy friend, his family does NOT have to include your daughter’s name on anything. Your daughter is only 4-years of age…over time she will forget all about this. You need to move on.
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It is always a emotional time when someone dies unexpectedly and things get overlooked . Dont confront your BF unless he wrote the obit. Calmly bring it up when you find out who submitted the info to the author…it may have been penned years ago before you were a serious item. Either way this is not the time to confront the family. Once I’ll feelings are said you cant take them back.
Let it go. I’m sure there will be more important issues that may come up in the future. Will this matter in five years? I think not.
Could have been just a mistake, not done on purpose. I’d leave it alone.
Well heck I wasn’t even mentioned in my dad or my grandmas obituary.
I would suggest a long sit down with your boyfriend. First thing I would bring up is, after four years together…and your daughter being so close to the deceased and probably a few other family members as well…why has your boyfriend not made you his wife. 2nd, if they included all the other girlfriends/boyfriends of siblings, etc., and didn’t included you and your daughter, then whomever was in charge of the obit may have some resentment or downright dislike for you. You’ve invested four years…talk things over with your bf, then you and him need to go have a chat chat with the fam fam n find out the exact reason you and your daughter were left out. If he tells you it’s no big deal…he skeered of him mommy
Sometime people just dont think, maybe it was not intentional, dont make a big deal of it, just keep being you and dont worry about it, give people the benefit of dought
It might just be an oversight. If you have a good relationship I would not end it over this.
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Someone passed away and you’re focused on yourself??? Step back and think about that.
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Be the bigger and better person. Don’t stoop to their level. Being happy is the best revenge
It’s simple. If you’re unhappy, leave. If you don’t want to put up with the abuse that you feel like is happening, leave. Your child’s mental well-being as well as her health should be paramount. If you don’t feel like they are including you and your child and they are doing it out of spite, then leave. You just have to ask yourself, is seeing your names on an obituary that important? So what if they included everyone else. You and her know what your loved one meant to you both. Beyond that, nothing matters. If you can’t see past that, then pack your stuff and get out. Maybe you’ll find someone that is worthy of you and your child and that loves you like you both deserve. You gotta figure out what you want out of your relationship with your boyfriend and how you want to be treated, how you want your daughter to be treated. If you feel like you’re being jilted, get out while the getting is good.
I think you should talk to them about it, it may have just been a terrible oversight!
You need to talk to your boyfriend about your feelings and then let it go. Your child is 4 and doesn’t understand about obits etc. Knowing this ask yourself is the hurt really about your daughters feelings or yours? If you’re honest with yourself then perhaps you can admit it’s really about you not the child. Your child wouldn’t even know if you don’t bring it up.
I call bull crap
They didn’t added you guys on purpose - and the reason most likely is because you are “ just” the girlfriend and your daughter isn’t your boyfriend biological daughter
This is how messed up and mean people can be when it comes to step families blended families.
You mentioned it’s been obe thing after another.
Watch that whole family throw a toddler tantrum when you marry your boyfriend
They are probably the type of folks who think their son is too good to be a father of another mans child.
I’d stop talking to them if I was you
Concentrate on your side of the family
Obituary is also jot just something whatever but the official end of life document. Everyone who is family should have been on there ( married or not, especially if you guys live together ).
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When people go thru a death they are not themselves. They can’t remember everything! It was probably just overlooked. Give them a break.
oh for god sakes life is too short
just love your child
she will have those memories no matter what the future holds
for u or her
give her a hug
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I think an obituary is only for blood relatives or ones legally bonded, I think.
Could it have possibly been overlooked? Have a private calm conversation with his dad or mom and tell them that you noticed it because of how upset your daughter got and that it broke your heart. They should explain it to you and apologize.
Ask the one who wrote the Obituary why yall were left out. Point blank. Get your answer, then make your decision.
At 4 your daughter isn’t concerned with her name being on anything… serious business, that’s all about you.
Let it go!
It’s the boyfriends side of family, he should have stood up for her and the child. Better late than never, meaning the funeral has passed but if that family doesn’t include the child, then why bother forcing yourself upon this family. Nothing good will come from the repeated exclusions. Your child is the innocent, and is in this situation due to adults, not of her own accord. Dealing with one’s death is hard on those who loved them and they may not be thinking clearly and may not have meant no hard-feelings. You have to know the clearity of this relationship if it brings joy and happiness or friction. A child doesn’t need the hardships brought upon them by the actions of adults. If your man shows no respect towards you and your child, cut ties, there is someone out there for everyone, someone who will love you and your child. If your man loves you and your child, then just let the ignorance of his family pass you by and move forward with your life which includes this man…for it doesn’t have to include his family if they want no relationship with you or your child. You are not in bed with his family, you are not in their Will to be left millions, you are not to satisfy there wants and expectations, but it’s your happiness and that of your child. Do not bow down to anyone, even your man if he disrespects you and your child. You are worthy, that child is worthy and you deserve the respect. People will disappoint you but don’t let their decisions in life bring you down.
No. I think people are never sure what to put in obituaries & it was probably not an intentional snub. Let it go.
Obituaries are formal and expensive, don’t dwell, it’s not about you , move on . Put a ring on it or get over it. I don’t allow “ boyfriends/ girlfriends in my family portrait. That’s just me . I require married
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Move on - let this go. This is not the time to bring up not being in the obit. Let it blow over and be nice. Show character…Always be bigger than they are. For now - over look this issue you have.
It would be a big deal for me. I wouldn’t have to say anything, my husband would’ve.
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If there’s a chance it’s not personal, put it behind you and focus on the love you’ve both been given.
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This is your boyfriend’s job. He needs to deal with his family. If you cut them off you might just as well get rid of him
I was going to say Let It Go but then you ended with it’s been one thing after another so that makes me think this was just the icing on the cake. If you are going to wash your hands of the family you have to be prepared for the boyfriend to be included in that.
If this is the biggest thing you have to worry about consider yourself lucky! Get some counseling and get over yourself!
There may well be a memorial on a free website called “FindaGrave”. If there is, you may request it be transferred to you, or at least send the (corrected) obit to the manager. (do this under Edits–Other Edits), Also, you can add (with captions) person photos to the memorial, whether or not you manage it. To do this, you must be a member of https://www.findagrave.com --but that is free as well.
Back off let people morn and be forgiving if u don’t forgive u will not be forgiven
Put yourself in her place. Would this not hurt your feelings also?
I would cut ties with the boyfriends family,But I would have a dicussion with my boyfriend and how it hurt you and go for there and his takeaway
Obituaries can be used for legal paperwork according to seniority of who is listed.
Do you know why you weren’t added?? What does the boyfriend say??
Don’t let their “Cheezy” behavior ‘hurt’ you! Consider the source and don’t attend anymore of their “functions”!
Pick your battles. This isn’t one
Not enough information to make an informed response.
Grow up and let things more important than that bother you!
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Making a mountain out of a mole hill. Drop it!
Only a boyfriend. So no
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If your boy friend would marry you then you would be family you are not family now
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It depends who wrote it … Just mention it in passing… Maybe an oversite…
The family is grieving and you’re not married to him.
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If you want to be single… ya.
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If this happened to me I would nicely talk to my partner about it after the grieving stages pass.
I technically would be upset too but it could have been an over sight or out of vengeance but never assume unless u know the truth.
My husband and me have the best communication so I can talk to him about anything and everything even if it’s about his family.
To ease your mind I suggest ask you BF about it. Cause if it was an oversight and you cut all ties it will cause an issue that may not have been there in the first place. Just my opinion.
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Don’t let his family make you feel like crap!!! You have him!
Been there done that. Move on with your life. 
Get over it, he’s just a boy friend!
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Just learn this lesson and move on.
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No, just let it go and continue on.
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No, you aren’t married. So legal you aren’t part of family.
Don’t make someone’s death about you.
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SMH no. Y’all deserve better from them and if they can’t give it then forget them.
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My dad died before his mom. So when my grandmother passed away we weren’t told till the day before the funeral. All that matters is that you guys loved him and he loved you the rest of the family forget and move on. If they don’t contact you out of sight out of mind.
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Wtf 
ye weren’t married …the grandpa is old school…the boyfriend needs to run tbh…get therapy
Get a life and quit whining. You are not a family member…
Let it go and try to be the family that they do not want to loose!
Can I suggest that you see this from another angle?? No one knows the love Grandpa had for your child. You are convinced he did love her, so he must have. A mother knows. What the family thinks, does not matter. Your child knows her Grandpa loved her. The obit should not be a concern of hers. Honor him by helping her remember that love and acceptance that he gave to her. THAT’S what matters❤️
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A serious talk with him and see what he sees in the future!
I would speak to your boyfriend about this
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Your with him not his family ignore them
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Usually a wife gets wife privileges
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They must not like you.
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No don’t say a thing
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Either you are married or you are not. If you are not married you are not related to the deceased.
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Your boyfriend’s other daughters? Was he married to the mothers? Sounds a little chaotic to me. Technically you aren’t in the family. This is not the time to make a big deal about it. Wait for awhile and move on. But if you can’t do that, then maybe move out.
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This is about a grieving family not you !
We went through this with wife’s family only are 3 daughters are their blood and they turned their backs after interjecting themselves in my children’s lives for quite a long time to make a story short they hurt my kids at one of the worst times in their lives so we cut ties better to do it now then let your daughter get older and get very hurt like my Daughters were
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Tell him to make you his wife .
I believe what matters is the man in your life standing by you. Did he tell family members how hurt your daughter feels and how much she loved her grandfather. Is the family that ignorant that they treat a child like that as she understands to some point. Let your boyfriends know how you really feel. You may need walk away from this family. Your child is too important to you you need to protect from being hurt
Let it go. Maybe it was a mistake, an oversight.
Ask them why y’all weren’t included, it may have just been oversite. I would imagine it was a long list of names at a very sad time in their life.
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His action speaks for his feelings not an obituary.
Why would you still be with someone who after 4 years hasn’t made a commitment? So many women do this and are wasting their lives. Just my opinion!
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How do they treat you and your daughter otherwise? If it has been a good and loving relationship just take the high road and move on. In times of grief things can happen ,different family me can weigh in and things can get confusing and complicated. You have lived with a man for 4 years and aren’t married no judgment but if you are planning on living with him for the rest of your life married or not you will be dealing with them for a lifetime. The choices you make now will set the stage for the rest of your life together. So take your time and talk to your bf and get his thoughts. But again don’t act in haste.
Let it go and continue on with your life and your BF.
Can you say drama queen. Really???
Does it mean that much for you names be on a card? Or your daughter having a dad that loves her,? Don’t let his family ruin your life
If it bothers you that much just ask why your daughter was left out. It may have just been an oversight. If it was intentional, thank them for letting you know how they felt about your daughter. Also, they may have felt that since you weren’t married and she wasn’t a bio or adopted grandchild, it was inappropriate to add her name.
At 4, seems a bit young for crying and carrying on over a grandfather’s death. Also you mention every other gf, child of other grandkids etc, sounds like a loosely tied family with not many legal relationships so who knows then who should and shouldn’t make an obit??
No. You are not his wife.
Ask him to take care of it!!
Don’t know if this applies but when my mothers boyfriend died, his biological family left us out of the obituary. Not real sure if it was their idea or the funeral homes,but they said if anybody was doing like a family tree thing, they would check obits for family members. Because we were not family that’s why they left us out,even though they had been together 15- 20 years.
This may have been an innocent oversight.
You are thinking of breaking up over this?
The 4 year old would never known her name was not in it unless you told her move pass it were other grandkid blood can be reason sad u been with this man 4 yrs I hope they treat you and the kid well I do not understand ppl saying step kids or g kids if there you with someone then you all should be accepted it a package a parent and kids who decide to be with someone new
I see obituary’s all the time with non blood non-family members are listed…
I don’t think it is worth cutting off an entire family. Mention that it was hurtful to whomever you think did the obituary, and find out if it was an oversight. If it was intentional, maybe that person is not as close to you as you thought, but the rest of the family should not be blamed.
I think this is a petty issue to bring up when people are in grief over the death of a loved one. Funerals are expensive. They have to pay for obituaries. Have mercy. This is not that big an issue.
Write your own OB and put in paper .
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Being peti oh well.your still a family just a over sight
Can you still attend the funeral? If so then that should be enough. Yes you are hurt and sometimes surviving family members who make funeral arrangements can be forgetful or just petty or mean in the process.
Cut them off if you wish… you’re decision.