Leave and dont turn back
1 Like
Leopards dont change there spots but the grasses isnt always greener. Divorce is a last port of call. Your call.
Do whats best for you and follow your gut instinct.
I would say who ever your husband went off with after u split up dumped his sorry arse and realised the mistake she was making and sent him packing ( he came straight back to you)
Sometimes people get along better not living together… People don’t ever change… they are who they are… Single life is healthier for you.
1 Like
Cut em loose and don’t go back!! Remember this feeling
2 Likes
you already know the answer girl! take them babies and go live your best life!
2 Likes
I am glad you are done. Spend no more time on the foolishness. It will not change.
2 Likes
You just wrote my life story 
2 Likes
Run n do not return r u wl b in tbe same boaT all over again
He might continue to temporarily change time and time again, but will eventually return to his old ways when the comfort sets back in. Stop wasting your time and leave! There is so much more life has to offer, and your kids will be happier seeing you happy.
1 Like
RUN RUN RUN and be happy again
If you were truly happy when you were separated, I say yes.
1 Like
Yes, sounds like you’ve already decided in your heart as well and you know it needs to be done. If you need support, you’ll find it in all of us. The only advice I can give, is start the process now and do not look back.
4 Likes
Sounds like you have seen what you need to do. He will promise you everything and give you nothing. Run away from him
2 Likes
I was in a similar situation when I was in my 30’s. You’ve tried, but nothing has changed on his end. It’s time for you go and be happy. Create your own happiness without him. He sounds incredibly self centered. You’ve been doing it everything yourself so you might as well do it without him. If he’s not a help then he’s a hindrance. You deserve more.
2 Likes
It sounds like he wants to live the life , without having the responsibility of a wife and kids - so show him exactly that! He is a piece of shit who deserves a piece of shit! Seriously… I would NOT put up with any of that! And to be frank, i dont know of any woman who would??? What an utter disgrace of a man, husband and father… Ridiculous. Im so sorry you have had to endure this… Please take your kids and leave, they deserve a better life and so do you. He will NEVER change - unless he wants too… And he clearly doesnt want too… Your kids deserve a happy mom 
Good luck and be strong x
Do the sex with his dad or uncle. That will show him!
Your happiness and peace with your children must/has to come first. I’d happily kick him to the curb … a true loser as a human, husband and father.
2 Likes
Leave…he will never change
1 Like
You know what you need too do. You have done it before and felt the freeing feeling. I would do it again 
2 Likes
Why would you want your marriage to work? Hoping for the impossible, is just plain impossible and wrong. How do your children feel? Do they feel loved and cherished? I think not.
4 Likes
I’m so sorry, it’s so admirable that you tried again. You probably already know what you should do. Start a new account he doesn’t have access to and start moving things around and saving. Go talk to a lawyer. Make sure you file for Legal Separation it will keep him from opening new lines of credit that you’d also be responsible for. It will also ensure he’s responsible for providing for you and the children until a divorce is final. Since you’ve had to get a PPO in the past make sure you have Family and friends who can be available to be with you when you have to interact with him. Good luck 
5 Likes
Leave or kick him out
I did the same with my marriage. And honestly my heart wasnt fully in it the second time around. I ended up leaving too. Once a relationship gets to that point its hard to anything else.
2 Likes
Leave him …you can do bad all by your damn self… he’s toxic
He will never change. Choose your kids. Choose your mental health.
7 Likes
Get out and don’t look back.
2 Likes
Should have never married him
1 Like
get out and stay out or it will either stay the same or get worse you are wasting your time with him
2 Likes
If you have to ask people on here, then you already know the answer
I say leave. He is not going to change. Things will just continue to get worse. You deserve to be happy and so do your kids. We only get one life, why spend it in misery. Best wishes for a bright, happy future.
2 Likes
I’m sure ur children would rather come from a broken home than have to live in one!!! You already know hour answer
2 Likes
You’ve already found your answer. You were happy when y’all were separated. Free yourself.
Get out of it and start living your life again.Stop being a second fiddle to him If you tried to hold on and it gets tougher every day that goes by it’s telling you it’s all done good luck on your journey
1 Like
Think you know the answer…. You did it once you can do it again….
I’d leave and file for divorce
I am so sorry you are experiencing this. I think you already know what the answer is, but its so hard isnt it?
I acknowledge the practical things that make it so difficult like finances, a house, company and wanting to stay together so kids have Mum and Dad together.
It actually sounds like he has an element of narcissism (sorry about my spelling), will never change because he dosent have capacity to realise he is one.
1 Like
I spent ten years with a man like this but he was also abusive physically and mentally. I tried leaving the first time in 2012 when he first assaulted me. While he was holding our three month old son. He always made promises of being a better man. Partner. Friend. Father. He would cry. I was so brainwashed I had cut off friends and family. Some days were really good. But the cycle always continued. He talked to other women our entire relationship. Towards the end I put so much focus into the kids to block it out. He won’t change. And you will spend years unhappy. I spent ten. I wish I had packed up the first time and never went back. And then I left and took kids again in 2018. With the help of my best friend at the time I got a second protection order and I was able to get me and the kids out, but it wasn’t long before he talked us back. Begged. Cried. Showed up to my friends house. My work. My ex about destroyed my life and me and my children all have PTSD. If a man wants to change, he will. The first time. If you and your children are not happy, leave. Life is to short to waist it. You deserve to be happy.
3 Likes
I wouldn’t waste anymore time with him.
Clearly the decision isnt made off of one day since hes been like that since the beginning hes a narcissist get the divorce and be happy cause by the sounds of it he doesn’t care
2 Likes
Sugar my question is if u didn’t get along since day 1, why start having children? I’m sure u are happy wth your children but u should have known it would b hard. God bless u n your children.
4 Likes
I went through the exact same thing with my now ex husband of 9 years. My kids and I are much happier on our own, we’ve been divorced going on 3 years… I should’ve done it years earlier!!!
2 Likes
Get rid of it! No respect for you whatsoever ! He’s never going to change.
1 Like
Def a divorce…move on get happy again
1 Like
I was in a relationship like that… I finally thought to myself “if my son grew up to be just like this man, I’d have failed as a parent… If my daughter grew up and married a guy like this, I would be heartbroken”
That was enough for me to know MY KID AND I DESERVED BETTER!!!
I’m now married, have 3 more kids (4 total) with an absolutely amazing, wonderful man who literally does everything for his family. No fighting. I don’t have to beg for help, attention, love, to be acknowledged… nothing.
It’s absolutely amazing. And I would have what i have now, without letting that piece of trash ex go
Divorce him cause he want ever change i know this from experience
1 Like
Run as fast as you can
I think you already know the answer…wishing you all the best 
3 Likes
You already know the answer take care yourself and your children
1 Like
Leave him you’ve already wasted too much time on him he’ll never change
3 Likes
Don’t let him tell you what to feel.You have every right to feel like you do.He just wants his cake and eat it to.DONT ALLOW IT.DIVORCE HIM AND BE HAPPY
I think you know. I really think he does too or he wouldn’t have just changed for the better then reverted to back to being your oldest teenager. If you want to save the relationship and if he does too the counseling and btw ughhh I can’t believe he did that frat boy d-bag crap while you were sick and had 3 sick kiddos too ewwww
1 Like
Follow your feelings for YOU and Your KIDS!
End the marriage. You need to be respected, loved and most importantly, you need a father for your children. You don’t have any of that right now.
2 Likes
From the way it sounds you’re doing everything anyway. If your trial separation made you feel good imagine what it could be to have that freedom!
It wasn’t wasn’t one day. It was everything before and then him immediately falling back into his old habits when you needed him; and while he was supposed to be rebuilding your trust.
It was a huge violation of that trust and your ability to count on him
3 Likes
That’s a narcissist girl. Run!!!
2 Likes
I believe you should leave and stay gone.
It will always be that way. It works great for him, he gets to do what he wants without any concern or consideration for you. Of course he’s going to beg you to stay. He’s happy as a clam. He is selfish.
You were just fine without him, even happy. Sounds like he brings nothing to the table. It’s time to close this Chapter. He will always come back to you and beg you to be with him, he had his perfect little set up with you. You deserve someone who loves and appreciates you.
2 Likes
A good lawyer will help
If you leave for good he will have to get a job n pay child support it’s cheaper for him to sucker you back in to staying with him . Girl divorce him you don’t need another child you need a real man
You gave him a second chance and he waste it so I believed is time for you to move on
4 Likes
You know the answer. It’s okay to leave, it’s okay to choose to be happy without him
1 Like
Leave, divorce him, don’t look back. You have wasted enough time and given enough chances.
Sounds like you know what’s best for your situation!
2 Likes
People don’t change…we just change how we react to them. Move on and leave him for you and your children’s sake!
2 Likes
Run!! He will never change !
1 Like
You know the answer to this question sweetie! You deserve to be happy and you know that won’t happen as long as you are with him. Marriage is hard as it is let alone when the other partner won’t give their 100% to make it work too.
Get rid of him. You and your kids deserve a better life
4 Likes
U already know ur answer…happy mum equals happy children…do you and ur babies…and enjoy life and be happy…
2 Likes
You should divorce. You have gave it your all and gave your marriage multiple chances to work . Life is to short to not be happy. Goodluck.
Sounds like you know what you want. So stay true to yourself.
1 Like
Def divorce. He’s shown you from the beginning the way he intended to treat you and now the kids. Let him be a weekend parent since the kids aren’t his priority.
1 Like
Love bombing at its finest. My advice. Run, run as fast as you can do not waste any more of your time, your mental or physical health on this man. He was that way once, he has proven to be the same again. You do not have to put up with bullshit.
Leave you sound like your happy without him.
He won’t change
I think you already know the answer to this already you have said you were happier before… Be happy again for you and the kids sakes!! You have tried to work it out so time to cut your losses and start again you and the kids. Back to happier days just you and the kids and make him take his turn some weekends give you a bit of adult time. You have the strength you just need to bite the bullet and get the ball rolling.
1 Like
He will never change. Divorce and be happy single and alone to get that me time which sounds like is happening anyway. 1 day you will meet that someone special who will cherish you and look after you and your kids 
1 Like
Run he will never change.
It sounds like you’ve tried your absolute best. You and your children’s happiness and overall well being is what matters first though.
I’m sure you know what to do. You have been there before don’t make the same mistake twice, your happiness and mental health is what is most important. If your happy your kids will be happy, if you have daughters don’t let them think that this is the norm and the same with sons, I hope you and your kids will be ok
U should not have taken him back. He has no respect for or love u
3 Likes
OMG please get rid of this man he will nit change you are so much better than this you will be so much happier he will nit change so why put yourself through more heartache a marriage without respect is not worth fighting for I truly wish you the best
Do you mama this man is running you dry… if you can’t fully be happy your kids will suffer most especially if you stay for them.
Do you want your kids in a relationship like this? It’s time to show them a healthy relationship. It sounds like after a few months of separation, you had a good co-parenting relationship. Make sure you contact an atty to see what needs to be done before one of you leaves. Make sure you get everything you deserve. Come back when you are ready to put your divorce and child support needs in writing. I’m sure there are many women that can tell you the do’s and don’t.
2 Likes
I stayed with my ex-husband for my kids and even tried working it out 3 times after we separated. I didn’t believe in divorce because of the covenant we made but he was cheating on me. After we divorced my kids asked why I didn’t do it sooner. He has traumatized my kids will all the things he did to me and them. They definitely were resilient, knew who took care of them and knew what was going on no matter what you try to hid. It was hard being single but we were all happier. He didn’t have much of a relationship with them growing up because he was selfish but now that they are over 18 he has more of a relationship with him. It took me a long time to find the right person. He is the love of my life. Give yourself the chance to be happy.
4 Likes
You need to leave, put out an order or protection, if it’s your house change the locks while his gone. I can understand you separate things change, after a while it’s gone back to how it was before the separation, one day one week, people dont always change and it sounds like he hasnt changed.
4 Likes
It’s not selfish to be happy. Get the divorce and live how you want to. Your kids will be better off with a happy mom
10 Likes
You’ve tried your best to make it work now he’s back to his old ways, leave and tell him to quit pestering you with his little life since he’s no help or family fun. Close that chapter and move on.
10 Likes
I don’t normally say much on these but this is my 2 cents on it being married 28 years it’s not always easy but worth it if things will change and it can happen if both are willing to make changes not saying you’re doing anything wrong to be treated this way you’re not but we all have things we can work on and i learned that in counseling.
- Counseling is a must if things are going to change, Gateway church has the best free counseling
- if he’s not willing to go to counseling then it’s a bye
4 Likes
Sounds like you’ve made up your mind and for the better. Marriage is a partnership and if he’s not being a good partner to you and disrespecting your marriage by talking to other women, not being there for your kids. It sounds like you’ve tried everything to save it and he hasn’t.
2 Likes
Well it wasn’t just the ONE day, it’s been years for you. And if it takes you leaving/separating for months for him to be involved then that’s not really him, and it’ll be a cycle of this behavior. I think you already know what way your intuition is telling you to go and that’s why you’re here to ask. Weigh your options and what you think would be best for the kids… but please keep in the for front of your mind what life was like in 2019 without him, a healthy happier you is what your kids deserve.
4 Likes
It will never change. Get the divorce and be happy! A happy momma is better for the kids in the end…I lived this and best decision for my kids and I to get out 
3 Likes
You pretty much answered your own question. You want things to change…you have to be the one to make it…easier said than done but at this point it’s just going to continue bc it’s been put up with so long and so many times
2 Likes
You’re doing it on your own anyway so why not do it on your own and be happy. Without him.
5 Likes
When someone shows you who they are believe them…
Of course when you break up and get back together its going to be good for a while because he wants to win you over but once thats done its back to the old ways he gets comfortable again … A relationship is a 24 hour job you have to constantly work at it … But alot of men think oh ill be good to her for a few months and get her back she aint goin no where … Seems to me like you have a narssasit on your hands. Ill be praying for you dear. Follow your gut feelings you have instincts for a reason 
5 Likes
It sounds like you already know what you really want. You don’t need validation or permission from anyone else. You know where you’re happiest.
Let me ask you this: If things keep going the way they are and never change, could you put up with it for another 10, 20, or 30 years?
It sounds like you’re the only one still married. He’s living the single life.
Be happy again. Trust your gut. It’s that simple. 
3 Likes
You separated from him and found freedom not being with him. Sounds like you answered your question already.
1 Like
Its clearly not a decision made off one thing.
Its a buildup of more and more of the SAME things for years and years.
Jesus woman, get tf away from this soul sucker and be FREE AND HAPPY.
Dont let HIM decide when you can ask for a divorce.
Get it filed and get a lawyer asap. Oh and file for custody while youre there
15 Likes
If you allow it, it will continue. One night out turns into 2, turns into 4, etc. If you continue to do all the chores and be the sole provider for the kids, it will continue. If that’s not the life you want to live, stop allowing it to happen. If he doesn’t understand, respect and choose you, let him go and DO NOT go back. He wanted the marriage to work because he didn’t want to have to have the kids alone, didn’t want to care for them himself, didn’t want to do his own housework. If he had to do those things, time for his friends and affairs would be less. It’s better to keep you around so he can continue to do nothing. Walk away. Leave him. Don’t go back. He isn’t worth your time or energy.
6 Likes
To him it was one day but you gave him lots of “one days” and he hasn’t changed. You nor the children are a priority to him. He’s made that clear through his choices and what he says… you all deserve better. Sigh, hugs mama.
5 Likes