Listen. Theres no “right” or “wrong” way to feel here. We feel/belive what we do…and its all valid. But you placed boundaries in the beginning of this (which is amazing btw. That’s not always easy to do with family). And he knew/agreed. So he’s made this choice. Just like it’s on him to (hopefully) get the help he may need for whatever issue he may be having. And to actively participate in that help/program so he can meet his goals and work twords becoming healthy etc. This doesn’t mean you don’t love him, or don’t want the best for him. Your needs are important as well, and we are only in control of our own words/actions. That goes for all of us…including him.
Yes, yes you should feel bad. Your son has called on you for some help getting back on his feet. As a good parent there are things that just need to be done, your son should’ve had you as a safe place and now he doesn’t have it. Yes, it was a longer period of time that he was with you but taking it as far as an eviction takes that safe place away. If he did get back on the drugs, confront him, get him some help and go from there. BE THERE FOR YOUR CHILDREN NO MATTER WHAT!!! Yes there are certain issues where you don’t need to but this is not one of them. There are plenty of ways to help someone who is addicted to something.
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31?? Heck no, especially if it’s just him maybe if he had children living with him, but nope, enabling will not help him in life.
So let me get this straight, you knew he was a addict, you let him come home too, do what exactly?!! And you never mentioned any kind of A.o.d.a classes or counseling, just thought if he did enough house chores everything would go away??? So soon as he stops and get a girlfriend, mind you go to work and the gym!! It’s a problem… he’s acting strange?!!! You tell him he’s back using and to get out!!! Try family counseling as well!! Somethings not right!
No matter what age they’re still my kids, I will always have a place for them. 3 months is not that long to save up anything, and if you have no proof he’s using, yeah I think it’s kind of a dick move to kick your child out, thru the courts no less; thus putting an eviction on his record, making it THAT much harder for him to get housing now… I wouldn’t resort to that until I’d exhausted every resource trying to help, and I would give it longer than a couple months of effort too, but that’s just me. You parent how you want.
No you shouldn’t feel bad. I’m sure he doesn’t feel bad for what he told your husband.
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Nope. He’s gotta go. He had enough time to get money together. He chose not to bc he probably thought you’d let him stay with you with no end date in sight. Don’t feel bad.
Absolutely no, You should NOT feel bad… He knew the terms when he moved in and HE broke the rules, then he LIED on you with no remorse on how it would affect your life… He is a grown man, he can either straighten up & get his life together or live in a box under a bridge. You have done everything you can, It’s up to him now. You cannot help someone that doesn’t want to be helped… To not insist on him leaving you are being an enabler
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No. He’s selfish and hateful.
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Honestly, FTK!!! That’s why I don’t have any
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No you shouldn’t feel bad… he took advantage and abused the agreement. He didn’t keep his part you did.
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No. Please don’t feel bad, tough love is needed!
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You never truly know the mental state someone is in and why they choose pills, sometimes the way you raise ya kids is the reason they choose these lifestyles because they know their is no such safe place… I couldn’t evict my son,I would be his help if he is willing…
Praying for him! I Know to many people dead because of this 
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Hell yea you should feel guilty! Obviously, your son asked for help, its barely been 3 months, and hes been working even less than that. You say all he does is sleep when home and hes been acting strange…
So lets cut the BS! Your son caught you messing around on your husband, hence the reason He’s been acting strange and likely the reason he does nothing but sleep at home. He obviously didn’t know how to react or handle the situation of his mother’s unfaithfulness. Cuz let me make one thing very clear. I, myself, am a recovering pill addict, and working out at the gym wasn’t really a priority while I was in active addiction. And I can read between the lines pretty well on this one…
When you were caught cheating on your husband by your son, you became worried he would say something. You may have even talked about to your son about it, asking his silence. Either way, your son became extremely uncomfortable at home when the husband was at home. Making him appear to be acting “strange”. I’m guessing you tried playing off his strange behavior as ‘he must be using’ to your husband. Your husband likely said he doesn’t want to be enabling your son and will need to go. And your son, who had uncomfortably kept his mouth shut about his cheating mother, figured if he’s being evicted for a false accusation and he knows its because he knows his mothers dirty secret, that he no longer has anything to lose, so went ahead and put you on blast. Now, out of desperation, because your husband now has suspicion, you create this ridiculous post hoping it will clear things up with your husband. 
Nope your should not feel bad. He isn’t a child anymore if he needs to fall on his face to get his life together then let him. My brother has the same issue with his step son but with him he refuses to work and every time they threaten with kicking him out he suddenly has a job lined up that just never happens I just think we did our job raising them now it’s time to move on and live your life comfortably without drama
Shit about to go and serve eviction to all my grown kids. Not going to school or having a job. Been telling them to get it together for a couple of years and and their situation hasn’t changed because they are to comfortable and think our threats of them getting out are just out of anger, but I’m so over them not doing shit
No. You can’t hold the guilt anymore. I strongly ask that you please seek a support group for family members of users. It will seriously help you in so many ways and they should be talked about and used more. You are enabling him by allowing him to live like this.
That is a grown ass man making lies up about his mum because he can’t get his shit together you did the right thing
No he’s grown he knew the rules from the start
he is still a child!! No don’t feel bad at all!! He can’t just put it all on you and then acting like a B**** and making up lies about his own mother!? He didn’t feel bad about that so why should you!? You told him from the beginning to save money so that is his own problem now. He could of saved a bit from each check but he didn’t so ooh well.
Shit my boyfriend’s son is 50 and still living at home mooching
Though this was a nail page not a life advice page…
Wow take a inch he took more then a yard.
Kick his ass to the curb!!! ,Let him grown some you know what …Sounds like he’s very manipulated too I bet…
No. At some point parents should not enable their adult children. Sometimes you gotta hit rock bottom to learn and appreciate!
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Unless there’s proof he’s back on pills, I wouldn’t of evicted him… I would of had a talk with him about helping out more around the house.
Hell no and you should have beat the snot out of him…he better be glad…for the parents he has cuz he would be in ICU…smh
Hell no. Especially if he told your HUSBAND you were cheating? He doesn’t care about disrupting your household so you def should have him living under it!!
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Not even a little but as a mom I get your questioning. Especially is he is back on pills. Staying with you will just enable him in that situation. Tough love and self respect needs to be present here. Good job mom now if only I will follow my own comments. 
I’m getting there sooner than later
Oh HELL NO! Honestly though, if he is abusing pills, allowing him to stay in your home only makes it easier for him. It’s time for him to go
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No you shouldn’t feel guilty.
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Bruhhh. 31 year old baby should have been cut off the tit a long time ago. I understand helping when your kids are in a tight spot. But not having any real life responsibility (addiction or not) is just asking to be ran over. He’s a grown ass man.
You told him to get a job save money so he’s prepared to leave. That’s his fault that he’s chosen to be irresponsible.
He’s 31. Live yo life baby, it sounds like you done did everything you could do , it’s time for him to help himself & actually Want to help himself. You did right.
No if he’s using drugs he is violating ur home.
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Don’t feel bad. He’s a big boy and you gave him a chance to be a man and he chose not to grow up. That’s on him now and he will figure it out.
Nope … he is a grown man do not enable. you help him out and he did not take advantage. Now he wants to take advantage of you and your husband.
Yes! 100% worst thing you could have done!! You had absolutely no proof! And you said it yourself! All you asked of him was to get a job! He OFFERED to help around the house! He went and got a job & started going to the gym to get himself healthy, and maybe instead of spending his money on drugs he used the gym as a coping mechanism! And for you to just turn your back on your own son! Your a horrible mother! I would have asked for a drug test instead of jumping to conclusions! I pitty your son and your other children if you have any! (I TRULY hope you dont) but if you do I pitty them! Maybe you shouldnt of had kids if your just going to abandon them when they need you the most! Congrats on making your son homeless & now possibly making him relapse due to his own so called mother abandoning him!
SMH!!! 
Hello former drug addict here (5years clean now) I know this heartache all too well but I was on the other side of it and I know it’s hard but evict him and then get him help. He can say all day he can do it on his own it’s not that bad and everything else but trust me when I say he needs the help and put him in a 90 day rehab
I would be the person to say take a drug test but have him do it in front of a drug screening Agency and if not get the f*** out and change the locks take his stuff throw it out, and say hopefully you understand the full reason why this is being done! But that is just me
His a grown ass man. U have every right to evict him.
No … if he can’t go buy the rules then he has to move. It didn’t have to be an eviction if he would have moved. It’s called tuff love!
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No
I had to kick out my 19yo daughter due to beating me (2nd time) police was called and she had support from her bf and her father! Suspected drug taking!
2 years now and she’s not talking to me still but I had to bc I couldn’t cope, walking on eggshells all the time, get called all abusive names and getting bashed, I had to kick her out
Sometimes your health, mentally and emotionally is just as important
I believe you’ve done the right thing
Live in peace 
In my opinion…no… He’s 31 . I personally think you sound a great parent … Don’t doubt yourself and seek approval…your his mum…you know best 
virtual hug for you
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Why are you assuming though? Ask questions. Assuming kills relationships
Dont feel guilty …cant help those who dont want to be helped
Yeah you should the day he dies your gonna regret getting him evicted that’s your son and he clearly not well. Don’t be crying when his dead or his in hospital people like you are ignorant to mental health you should be getting him all help u can not abandoning him to fend for himself so he ends on street shame on u for signing the eviction that disgusting as a parent I’m sorry but Asians we look after our own families but people like you put own family in homes or throw them on the street and don’t give shit then cry on thier funeral
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Should I feel bad for having my son evicted? - Mamas Uncut
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Yes sometimes it takes tough love with our children it sucks
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Toug love needs to be done here
Absolutely not! Especially if there’s a Substance Use Issue! Sometimes you need to show them tough love!
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You are enabling ur son . Walk away and don’t look back. When he gets his life straight he will come to you
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Nope…get him out of the house and dont take him back.
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Of course you’re gonna feel bad he’s your son but sometimes tough love is best. Maybe it’ll make him realize he needs to get his life together
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Hell no! You and your husband were very gracious with your hospitality, he abused it, he’s grown, he can go live with his girlfriend or out on the street. He made his bed and burned his Bridges!
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Don’t baby the addict.
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The answer to your question is…
Cause of addiction is trauma, just like addiction to work, shopping, eating. May I suggest Gabor Mate’s book and youtube videos on addiction?
Absolutely you’re doing what’s right for all involved 
Tough love ,and your son will come back as a better man
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Hell no. He’s an adult. You guys were kind enough to let him stay with you guys. Time to go out and be an adult. I know that being his mother makes it hard for you but sounds like he needs tough love. Your doing the right thing. Big hugs to you mama!
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Nope you shouldn’t feel bad
No he needs to stand on his own 2 feet
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Don’t feel bad. A 31 year old is an adult that is capable of making his own decisions. Although those decisions may not be the best, he needs to be held accountable for his actions and decisions.
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All the yes’s are just another nail in his coffin w the game he’s playing. Coming from an opiate addict of 20 years, clean for 8… he needs more NO. I got sober bc my sister started saying NO.
No! He’s a grown man. Don’t enable him.
No, make him learn how to man up the hard way.
No. It’s not helping him by providing him with the means. He needs to hit his bottom and stand on his own two feet, no other at to learn. Evicting him does not mean you can’t still help him in other ways
I read the first sentence and said nope!!! Tough love needed there’s help then there’s enabling and now it’s not helping. But kicking that ass out is help. He will forgive you and be glad you did when he gets back right 
wishing you strength!!!
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No he needs to hit to rock bottom before he can help himself. You are doing what you need to. This is the best help you can give him. It is hard but keep going.
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Have you actually spoke to him about these pills? Sounds more like an addiction. I wouldn’t shut him out but offer support and get him some help
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Nope. Tough love. He needs to man up. Give him his rock bottom.
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No you should not feel bad fo this grown man and even more so after that jab he took at you…ingrate! Nothing is ver enough for the individual when they are in the wrong. Breathe and carryon
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No he needs to leave have the police come get him out then have your son prove it your cheating he is on them or at least acts like it move him out soon or he will get violent
I should know I lived with someone that was I got out quick
Don’t enable him tough love. Let him see what it’s like on his own , paying for everything
Do not feel bad, tough love. If you don’t you become a enabler, he’ll get use to the fact “mom will help and be there” therefore he’ll never help himself .
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you did the right thing he will be back when he get’s his life together!!
Perhaps you could have asked him to take a drug test before evicting him without proof. Maybe you wouldn’t feel guilty if you had known for sure.
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He needs rehab not just an eviction
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You absolutely did the right thing. If he is using again you are just enabling him by letting him stay in your house for free
No. He needs to be gone.
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Tough love is the best way in situations like this. Your son will still love you but, be mad for awhile.
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You did the right thing
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I didn’t read this whole thing , but I have been there . Drug addiction is real and very scary , I had this problem with my daughter maybe not same hers was a different maybe worse drug addiction so I really got taken advantage of . I kicked her to the curb , did it break my heart yes, would I cry every night, would I pray to God she would wake up and see another day yes, would I pray she comes back to us yes , would I pray to not get the worse phone call in the world yes. But I had to one day , I have two younger boys , no matter how much they convince you that they won’t use under your roof they will. And you find yourself in those whole supporting there addiction . No matter how hard how sad how broken it makes you . You have to put your foot down , protect you , your other kids in the house, your husband even cause believe me they will bring there friends to try shady shit with your man to get rid of him so they can keep using you . Reality is they won’t get help till they are ready , no matter what , close the door if they don’t follow your rules, your goals, your wantings for your house. Then yep shut that door , Close it. Get help , get them help or no . Have to have respect and follow your rules. I’m sorry I am praying and yes your heart will hut it gets better , keep faith the Lord helped me. And prayers .
Out! What he told your husband was wrong! He’s a troublemaker!!! 
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Do you know for certain he was abusing pills again? Do you have proof? You told him he needed to get a job, work and save money. So…he has a job, “all he wants to do is work” and goes to the gym. He has a girlfriend he sees on the weekend. From what you wrote, it doesn’t sound like he brings her to your house or disrespects you. I think you were wrong. He’s doing what you asked him to do. Again, are you certain he’s using or just guessing? I think you overreacted without knowing the whole truth.
Nope! Sometimes it takes tough love!
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Not at all u did what I would of done
What an ungrateful lite sh-t ur son is! Why feel bad about having to evict him? He told u to do it and u called him on it. He didn’t save any money. So if he’s acting strange, then it’s obvious where his money has been going to. And for him to tell a whopper of a lie to try and break u and ur husband up is cruel and immature! Let the kid fall flat on his face! And DO NOT feel bad about it!
You are doing the right thing, as long as you let him stay you are being an enabler. I get it that it has to be hard to kick him out. Prayers to you Mom
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Tell him we love you but you’ve been raised already…
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Reading these comments, oh my God! Humanity is really lost. If he had a problem, it’s an addiction. You should be trying to help him. Evicting him will not help. Have you tried to talk to him about rehab and counseling? I love my children and I don’t care how old they are if they need me, I’m there! He needs professional help not tough love. Smh
Nope. He is a grown man
Don’t doubt you intuition if you think he is you are prob 
correct. Tough love.
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Hell No , He is a grown man !!!
Sometimes it takes them hitting rock bottom to turn their life around. You did your best and tried to help and he messed it up, now it’s on him … don’t enable him.
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No, tough love is so tough mainly on you… I can only imagine what all has happened to get you to this point… Prayers your way!!!
“When you seek help, I’ll be your biggest cheerleader. I love you, but until then, I wish you luck.” Addicts are very resourceful they will find a couch to crash on until THEY are ready to seek help. Praying for you Momma, but you did the right thing.
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Maybe require random drug testing and tell him he has to pass every test or he is out
Tough love will make him grow up
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