See if there are grandparent rights in your state .then take her to court .they will have to get a DNA test also to prove you are the paternal grandmother.then it will be court ordered for your visits !
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Yes give up, sheâll come back around when she needs something
You DO have a right to see your grandchild , if she refuses, appeal to the county she lives in, file for visitation rights. Some states have grandparents rights âŚ
I wish you luck. I am so sorry you have to experience this
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see about granparent rights
Your son needs to man up and remind her that this is also his son and she will either allow his family to be a part of this childâs life or raise him by herself!!! And do it soon or it will only get worse!!!
Take her to court for grandparents rights
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It might not even be your sonâs baby unless he wants in the picture I donât think you weâll see the baby
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Go get your time in with your grandchild!
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With all that is going on i am guessing especially with a premature baby that she is being safe. So maybe talk to her and make sure thatâs it. And just breath a little.
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Depending on the state you have grandparent rights, see what rights you have as a grandparent in your state then move forward on that, you should be able to see your grandchild
Iâd see what the grandparent rights are in your state. Thatâs so sad that sheâs depriving her child of love because sheâs selfish. I canât stand women who do that! My brother has two baby moms and they are both soooo great about letting all of us see the kids regardless of any adult issues going on. Thatâs how it should be.
Donât listen to the ones that tell you to give up they themselves are obviously bitter baby mamaâs that think they have all the control, look up your states laws on grand parent rights, you can lead a horse to water but you canât make them drink just because your son chose a different path that was his choice not yours and that grandbaby is of your flesh and blood therefore go be a grandma and donât ever give upâŚ
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I have a grandson thatâs 8 years old, his mother has been toxic from day one, my son has court order papers for him to see his son, he pays child support. The mother got remarried and has made yes I know for a fact made the child call her husband daddy! I was seeing the child up until 2 years ago, she went around and told ppl we wouldnât have nothing to do with my grandson after I showed text after text where I tried to get my grandson attend different school functions, and where my son was paying child support, she got made to look stupid! She has with held the child, now the child and my 8 year old daughter are in the same class, after two years my grandson begs to come see me and his other brothers and sister. So for the ones telling this grandma that itâs the mothers choice and she has no rights and itâs the mother wishes! Let me tell you itâs not!!! Itâs the child! That child along with all the other child who used as a weapon toward the other parent or grandparents is child abuse! Ask a JUDGE! what does the child want! Isnât it suppose to be about the child not the adults, shouldnât a child know both sides of a family! That last whatâs wrong with today society! Ask your self whoâs really hurting when a child kept from his father or his father family! The child hurting thatâs who! My grandson mother told ppl we act like he didnât exist but my husband coach my grandson and daughter soccer team for two years! She rather lie the. Eat! But believe me karma will come back around! Iâm about to go right to see my grandson in court, he has brothers and sister who ask about him and my grandson ask my daughter everyday at school how is his brothers and sister doing, now tell me who suffering! Until you are put in that position you have no idea what itâs like not see your grandchild.
Leave them be. You donât have parental rights and have no right intruding where you arenât wanted. Sounds like you should have raised your son better.
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I would have my son man up and be a father. Maybe shes upset about that and rightfully so.
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Make sure your son is providing financially for his child if he doesnât want a personal relationship. Donât excuse his behavior. It might help her be more open to you having a relationship with the child. Keep trying.
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This lady is pissed because she has to call before she makes a visit lmaoooooooo Sophia Poulos
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She could be taking precautions because of having a baby with health issues and the pandemic. I would just keep contact and stay cool for now.
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I would be straight up with her and ask her if she has a problem with you or what it is. Tell her you would more than love to be in the childâs life and would love to spoil him 
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Pretend you donât have a grandchild? Thatâs a bit dramatic. Youâre off to a great startâŚsorry itâs not the experience you dreamed up but thatâs lifeâŚitâs not your child. Iâm sure they didnât dream of having a nicu baby either
They literally just had a baby. Itâs a major life changer, as you should know. And a NICU baby at that. Give them some space. Being pushy and not respecting boundaries is just going to make it worse
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I would wait until they come to you. Donât push it, as much as it hurts
Bring her to court and get grand parental rights
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Iâd never just turn up at someoneâs house without asking first, even if it was family/grandchild. Having a little one is hard. Iâd do whatever it takes to be able to see them, never stop trying.
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I make people call/message me before they come to my house as well. As a mother of 3 premature babies I can tell you that we limit the contact others have with our children especially during a pandemic. My youngest was born on the day they declared the pandemic in the USA and she was a preemie. My bonus kiddos didnât meet their lil sister until 2 months after she came home due to her being premature and covid. Just talk to her and respect her decisions when it comes to her babies. Not everyone was happy about us not allowing anyone that didnât live in our home to come in, but it was our decision to make not everyone elseâs.
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So she had a premie, covid is going on and youâre upset because you canât just pop up whenever you want. It is her house her rules, itâs also her baby here rules.
All the people screaming take her to court for grandparent rights. She wouldnât get them. You have to already have a relationship with the child and that child will be badly effected off you no longer are in their life. Itâs not for grandparents that are made they have too call first. 
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Câmon make the damn call. Follow the rules of the mother. Dont be arrogant. Just follow her rules
File for visitation! Grandparents rights. You shouldnât have to miss out on watching your grandson grow up just because your son is making poor decisions. Seriously. Seek legal advice. You could probably get visitation with him.
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Thatâs exactly what I did was not kissing her behind over a baby if it depended on my son and her relationship I could see the baby if they were good but if not sheâs in her 30s now I love her but no relationship.
Sue for grandparents visits. You have rights as well.
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Never give up on a child or grandchild xxx
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Imagine thinking you can just show up when you want when thereâs a young couple whoâs already struggling and now have a new baby in the mix in the middle of a pandemic.
Lady, just call and ask if thereâs a time that works best for them. You are not entitled to any child, even one thatâs related to you.
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Sheâs not worth your time but when she wants something she will get in touch with you
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I dont think you should give up at all. Check into grandparent rights. Also Iâd ask your son to get a paternity test done, just to make sure everything is legit before going to far down this path.
Unfortunately it does come down to her as for how you get to visit and when, until you get something official in place. Im on her side as for drop by visits. Iâd get mad at my inlaws if they just stopped by whenever they wanted or without permission. Dont look at it as an appointment, she has other kids and a schedule just like you do. You have to be flexible to that, just like she does for you.
Have your son take her to court for visitation.
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Do not give up on ur grandbaby please! Personally,iâd light a fire under ur sons ass,doesnât sound like hes doing his part 
Check your state laws in some states they have grandparents rights and you can take her to court and get visitation
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It may not be the grandma experience you have dreamed of but think about how the world is right now. Youâre grand baby was born early and during a pandemicâŚmost mothers today take these same precautions and donât be offended that they arenât answering I get how it can be hard not too but they have a newborn to take care of and adjust to being home with along with three other children. Make a call and schedule a time. I know new babies are exciting especially your first grandchild but take into consideration that times are different now and they arenât out to get you they are going through changes as well. Good luck 
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My friend - seems thing are a little to crazy for them right now. Youâve made connection and demonstrated you are open to âgrandma â status. I suggest you write a letter to her - explaining you understand being a parent is tough - you know- also that you are a phone call away if she needs you - as friend, experienced parent to bounce ideas off of, and that the relationship youâd like to have with her and your Grand baby.
The way I was raised - your Auntie is your Auntie Always because she gave birth to your cousin and Grandma always called them her daughters.
Has a paternity test been done to ensure your son really is the father?
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There isnât enough details here for me to get the full picture but I absolutely do not want anyone showing up whenever they feel like it. Please make plans. Especially when it comes to children who are more than likely on schedules for naps etc.
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Definitely go see a lawyer! Grandparents rights
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Give her time she might be overwhelmed with everything going on. Why not write her a letter saying you would love a relationship with her and your grandchild and wait. She will want that too.but remember she is after having a baby and with no help maybe wrecked from lack of sleep
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That really sucksâŚKeep tryingđ
You will always be grandma but different than most. My oldest grandchild is now 23, havenât seen her since she was 2. When she is ready if ever, she will find me and I will love her the same as I do now. If not, we will meet on Heavenâs shores some day. I miss her, I love her but I will let her make her own choices. I know it hurts but love and let God handle it the best way for the child. There are millions of children out there who need a standin grandma, be where you are wanted and needed. Prayers of comfort for you.
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Go to court you have grandparent rights
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I agree with Helena but I would still go see a lawyer you have grandparents rights and you might have to see your grandchild by court order only
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It seems like grandma already has an opinion about girlfriend which may make her feel uncomfortable. Regardless of relationship, the world is in a pandemic right now. If she wants you to make an appointment then you need to. Iâm sure they have a million people wanting to come visit and it can be overwhelming especially with a newborn with a deadly virus. Seems youâre taking things a bit too personal. Iâve had a baby and am about to have another baby both born in pandemic. Itâs scary because there is no treatment or vaccinations for babies. None the less Iâm sure sheâs adjusting to having 3 kids well now 4. It takes a toll on you. You should know this being a mom yourself. I say chill out, and stop making it about you. Take the high road and ask when they would like you over.
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No. Donât give up. Jump through her hoops and try to be there as much as possible. Build the relationship with you and the baby. You may need to be there for them one day when mom and dad arenât.
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Go to court to see if you can get grandparents rights.
Imagine having a bad on and off relationship. You get pregnant and know the guy isnât ready or doesnât want to be a dad. And now the on and off again guys mom (who refers to you as the kind of woman who has 3 kids with 2 different guys) wants to be around for her grandson. She has a problem with understanding that premature babies are medically fragile and canât take visitors (during a fucking pandemic) and the grandma canât fathom why you should schedule visits?
Its only polite to call before visiting since you arent close to her. I hate visitors turning up when i have a small child to put to nap time and chores to do.
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This really sucks. And sheâs being a little extreme about it which isnât right. But also try to understand her point of view. Thereâs a pandemic. Croup and rsv have been bad this year etc. do not give up. Just kiss ass and tell her you understand her point of view. And just tell her to let you know when she thinks itâd be okay for you to come see your grandchild. If this persists for a long time though you should take it to court
I would either try talking with her or even more so write to her either a letter or email. I would let her know that the relionship between you and your son is completely different and separate of your relionship with your grandchild. Let her know that your relationship with the baby does not need to include your son. The new mom may not want to have a relationship with your son/the childs father and she may feel that letting you see your grandchild has to include the dad/your son. Let her know that you are willing to abide by her rules of calling before coming and setting up visits in advance. I can completely understand her wanting visits set up in advance and not just popping in. It would be different if she were your daughter but she isnât. As far as gifts, everyoneâs taste is different, what you may love and think is adorable the mom may not, especially with difference in generations. Also, some people are just more high maintenance and have to have name brand high end cloths and items. I wouldnât just give up on your grandbaby. It may take time for the mom to get to know you, get to know your intentions, take time for her to know you being involved isnât going to start drama with the father. I would write to her and take it slow and one step at a time. And try to keep your options to a minimum also, especially when it comes to your son!
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Donât give up completely. Maybe just give her some space but send birthday and Christmas presents for your child. Once in a while, try to get in touch with the mom and see if thereâs anyone she needs. She might not be as grateful as you would like her to be, but it may just open the door for you to see your grandson.
Whatever you do, donât write him off completely because he may need or want to know you one day. Always think of him and leave that door open.
They just had a nicu baby during a pandemic. I know you want to see the child but the first few weeks is all about parents and baby bonding and adjusting. Being pushy and bugging them about the baby will make them not want you around as often because youâre not respecting their personal time with their newborn. Not trying to be rude but you need to give them space. I know I needed it after having my last.
Please donât give up!! Itâs not her fault her mom acts this way. My relationship with my grandma was the best thing I ever had, I hate the thought of people missing out on that. 
One day she will see that you tried without giving up and it will mean the world to her.
You wonder why she doesnât want you seeing her son? You literally just started your post with the fact that she has multiple children with different men. That is enough to show how you feel toward her. That shouldnât matter. If your son loves her, then you support him. Also, itâs a pandemic. If this child was born premature, there could be serious risk involved if the baby catches COVID. All I hear is judgement and selfishness hidden in your words.
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Donât give up but Mayb she needs some space
At the end of the day thts her baby she gave birth too. Maybe once the baby is a lil older. Mayb shes overwhelmed⌠Yes you will always be the grandparent but thatâs the babies mother. I could see a problem if she wasnât takin care of him. But honestly We all donât like pull ups. We like to kno when ppl come. I donât like when ppl see my house a mess or Mayb we are napping. Just keep tryin.
Sayin she has kids with different dads already shows you hav some kinda feelings towards her. Mayb thatâs why she doesnât want you around so much. Iâm sorry but honestly i wouldnât want my kid around anyone who canât except me. No matter what sheâs the mother.
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To all of you telling her to file for granparents right, yall wild! The courts would not do that if she is a stable mom and not abusive and if her son (the father) is not deceased. A granparent is NOT OBLIGATED TO A CHILD!!! 
it sounds like you might be in the wrong her, shes rhe mother, not you. Some of you need to learn to respect your daughterâs in law and the parents of your Grandchildren without taking it so personally!
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You can go to court and get grand parent visitationâŚâŚitâs a thing
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Sounds like you dont know how to respect boundaries and you have an issue with needing praise and recognition for any deeds you do. Try doing things without amd expectation and respect peoples right to set boundries. Youll get alot further with the mother of.your grandchild. 
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Grandparents also have right through the courts âŚ
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I mean at the end of the day it is HER child no matter how bizarre, crazy, rude she may be. If your son isnât bothering with it then thatâs all it is to it.
Always contact before a visit. Always. Make sure she hasnât already been swamped rhst day with visitors. Follow the rules put in place for her son. Itâs her baby. No one elseâs. Donât give advice unless asked. She gets enough Iâm sure. Donât over stay. 1 hour is plenty. No need to stay 3 or 4. Sheâs tired and wants bonding time with the baby.
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Donât give . . Make the appointment to call she has other children and with different ages it can be hard and hectic. We all have different crosses to carry and have different lifeâs you donât know what she has been true in the past with families if her older children. U think for me as a single parent you start the post of really showing your thoughts on the girl when you said other kids different dadâs.
Iâm not agreeing with her but she has a new baby plus she is bound to be emotional and hurting the way the father of the baby has just walked awayâŚplease donât take offence to what Iâve said itâs hand in my heart not ment that way
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I think pretending you dont have a grand child is abit extreme and rude. It isnt the grand childs fault! And honestly i wouldnt want people showing up unannounced either. I do like people calling or messaging me asking if im not and if its okay that they pop by for a visit, sure and i do the same to others⌠its unfortunate for sure that u cannot spend as much time with your grandson as youd like. And i understand your disappointment. U can always message them telling them ud like ro be able to spend more time with the child⌠but that ur okay with giving them some distance⌠and honestly at that point its not on you⌠you made the effort. A relationship is a two way street
This worries me just because of all the child abuse in the world. Sometimes family members are shut out and then they later find out why, the child is being mistreated. Not saying itâs the case for your little one but I wouldnât absolutely not give up and go to court like others have said.
Kindof sounds like my mil 
. Yeah it is my house my rules, I donât even want my own family popping by so yes making a plan for it is a must, if you canât have simple respect then you wonât be around which sounds like it, like its not appointment to make sure its a good time to just pop up. And you get one sides stories, so there might be reasons she donât wanna meet up or let you take the child without her or the father who canât even be bothered to care. Not saying your all in the wrong but I know my mil loves to disrespect me and call me crazy and all types of things THEN expects me to let her see or take my kids 2 out of 3 of my kids arenât biologically hers, yes I love she loves em but has NO entitlement
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Having same problem only a great granddaughter. They live 10 minutes away but have only seen baby when 10 days old now 5 months next week. She rules my Grandson!!!
Depending on how early the child was born he could have been in the NICU. If that is the case many NICUs are only allowing the parents in. Once the baby comes home he is leaving an extremely sterile environment and germs are very big to baby. When we brought our twins home from then NICU we did not have any visitors for the first month and nothing that wasnât first agreed upon. Iâm sorry but the baby could not be sleeping well and she is not wanting any visitors at this time. I think you need to check yourself this is not about you, it is about the mother and baby and what is most comfortable for them both right now. You can have your feelings hurt but give the mother time to adjust to have a baby that was born early.
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Iâd hate for a woman my son gets pregnant do that to me, I love my mother in law and sheâs been a huge help when number 6 was born, this woman obviously is very selfish keeping the baby boy from you, but donât give up
Start slow , mum is most probably not to keen to trust. Do it on her terms, gain her trust. Goodluck. And make sure your son steps up x
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You say he wasnât ready for that stepâŚ
Thatâs BS.
He was sleeping with her.
On the other part of your question, check into your state. You might have grandparents rights. Youâd have to take her to court.
Are you sure itâs his child? If not, that MAY be why she wonât let you guys into the babyâs life. 
It happens.
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First of all donât try and reason with her because itâs probably coming across as disrespectful and that you want things your way or the highway. Bub was born early which comes with a bunch of health risks plus weâre in the middle of a pandemic. Not only that she has other children that deserve attention too and by the way youâre talking in your post Iâm going to assume that you more than likely have no time for them and just go over and fawn all over the baby which isnât fair. Not only that but theyâre probably all tired and overwhelmed and you might just be a bit much for them right now given the fact youâre posting this on social media and being super dramatic and rude about the Mum. Give them time, respect and help when needed/wanted. And at the end of the day itâs their baby, their rules which trumps your ego.
Give her time she is overwhelmed with the children she had already now has a 4 th child that from what it sounds like with yet another father who has abandon his child sheâs overwhelmed do not get the courts involved unless itâs a matter of the welfare of the child being neglected or harmed The courts are in our business too much the way it is be patient grandma tomorrowâs another day and hopefully things will get better concerning this baby keep doing what you know is right you be proud of your grandbabyForget what other people think most people respond because I have unsettled business concerning their own and speak advise that is a lot not always good congrats to you grandma I doing the right things concerning the baby I believe things will turn out well blessings and prayers for you
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I donât think sheâs asking too much just asking to see the baby but maybe thereâs a reason why she saying no right now she might be going through something emotional and doesnât want a bunch of people around her right now donât take it personally but for the record I do not believe that you asking to see your grandchild is wrong just have a little bit of understanding
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If the baby was early then it makes sense she didnât let you see them early onâŚ
Also Parents donât always like being just stoped in on, especially with kids. Why are you complaining about having to make an appointment, itâs not your choice you canât just walk into their house, she is correct her house her rules.
But something must be missing from the story if theyâre ignoring you or not letting you see the baby.
She could probably go about it a different way, but sound like the 3 of you need a sit down.
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Donât give up. Just do what she asks you to do. Just get your foot in the door so u can see the baby. Buy her things she needs and have a conversation w her about how much you want to be involved with the baby. Just do whatever you have to do to make her trust you.
Sheâs being a nasty , petty, immature beotch. Your son is also being a wimpy beotch. Cut them off. Donât do anything for them. Let them do it on their own. Can stand people like this.
I didnt get to see my first grandchild untik she was 2 bc of differences with her father. It was heartbreakingâŚplug in there grandparents do have rights i would be asking about them.
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Grandparents have rights you can take her to court and get a weekend or 2
month
Thatâs awful. Iâm sorry sheâs doing this to you. For me family is always welcome. My door is always open. I know sometimes grandmas canât be annoying by trying to tell new moms what to do (not saying you do this) my mom and mother in law annoyed me by doing that sometimes. Even though I know theyâre trying to help it still frustrating. Anyways even when annoyed with them Iâd never keep their grandchildren away from them. They can come visit or we can visit them anytime.
Are you just showing up at her house? Because I would want someone to âmake an appointmentâ before coming over to see my newborn baby. Youâre right⌠it is her house, her rules. You need to stay in the grandma lane and let these grown folks handle their business.
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I would get a DNA test and explain to her that you would like to be involved and just let her know youâll be there for her and the baby no matter what. Donât push it too much but also take into consideration that sheâs going at it alone especially if your son isnât being helpful.
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Their child. Their rules. Doesnât matter who you are.
This entire post and half the comments are absolutely ridiculous. Parents have the right to set boundaries and decide who can and canât visit their children.
If your attitude is âIâm going to whinge on Social Media and go as far as to pretend I donât have a Grandchild because I canât get my own wayâ then itâs no wonder she doesnât want you around their child.
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If he was a NICU baby. .i can understand. AlsoâŚi can understand with not wanting people just stopping by whenever. I need a 24 hour notice bc these kids tear the house apart,so it takes a whole day to clean for guestsâŚWith my daughterâŚwe didnt let her have vistors until after had first shots at 2 monthsâŚmainly family with kids though bc they always brought them over even if sick and got us sick so no friends or family were allowed over unless older and only 1 visit with no kissing involved. Plus
.pandemic going onâŚ
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Pretending you donât have a grandchild makes it worse for not only the child but personally makes the mother feel like crap. Two you canât please everyone with your gifts Three you canât not just turn up randomly at someoneâs house and demand to see a baby who was a premature. She has boundaries set for a reason and might be because lowkey you donât like. So now you are arenât getting your way so you are acting immature. Know your place.
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Sounds like my husbands ex, requires 48 hours notice so that she can clean the place and throw out all the skip the dishes bags
Is there any question of paternity? Seems that if she has multiple baby daddies already & the baby âwas earlyâ i would want confirmation or the dad (your son) should too.
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Yes her house her rules.
That baby was born early darn Skippy you should go by what she wants, plus with Covid she 100 percent right to limit visit.
Also I canât stand an unexpected visitor, so call and see if itâs OK to come by or set up a time perfectly OK.
Yeah if youâre one of those grandmas that expect everything to be your way all the time because your grandma yes pretend away.
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We go through alot the same except the dad is trying, finally heading to court soon. However there is such a thing as grandparents rights. Look into it
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Not trying to be rude, but is the reason because you didnât want to comply with making an âappointment?â I can understand that, honestly, I couldnât stand when people just showed up at my house, Iâve had my in-laws stop when we were heading out and ruined our plans because my husband would want to stay home since they came over. When I had my first though, my daughterâs grandmother showed up at 11 pm 3 days after she was born. You might be grandma, but it doesnât give you the right to show up whenever you want⌠It needs to work for her, and from what you say, she wanted an appointment, that means she wants to know if when you will be there, and she can plan for it, thatâs not unreasonable.
Go to court there is grandparents rights.
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Get a DNA test. Most states have grandparents rights.
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No. With a mother like that this child needs you. Bend over backwards. Follow her rules. Donât fight her. What matters is that the child knows you and has a safe place to land.
As far as your son goesâŚ.please drop kick him for me.
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i insest on DNA then get attorney
Sounds kinda like she is trying to hide something to be honest. Maybe your son isnât the father. 
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See if you can have a gentle chat. Explain that what happens between her and your son has nothing to do with you. That you would love to help support her and get to know your grandson. Sometimes itâs hard to separate your ex from his parents
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Take dna when she is not looking then get some also from son do not tell him get results if tours go to court for grandma rts
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