Baby daddy needs to man up and care for his child and his child’s mother or baby daddy needs to hit the road. Relationships and parenting (assuming both parents are involved) are reliant on teamwork. Pulling your weight doesn’t always look like contributing to half the finances, especially not right after having a baby…and a baby with significant medical needs on top of that! Baby daddy needs to step up or step out.
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Not fair at all. My spouse works a full time job and gets off at 1am and he still watched our boys through the night if they wake up so I can get sleep. He also helps throughout the day and pays all bills. I take care of the boys, do the shopping and go to all appointments alone so he can work.
This young immature man isn’t used to the responsibility of caring for others. Providing sole financial ( or the majority ) support is probably overwhelming. It may have not been a planned pregnancy, so he probably feels like a deer in headlights. Sit down and talk about money & resources. You may need to work part time on the weekends, while he cares for the baby. Maybe even a WFH position. You’re both going to have to stretch yourselves & work together to move forward.
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To me it doesn’t sound like you should be with this boyfriend because he doesn’t have your or your children’s best interest at heart. Just my opinion
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I am really surprise that due to your son’s disability the social worker didn’t steer you in the right direction to get him on SSI. Plus as a M/B RN we had to inform the state when a baby has a disability so the parents can collect on the baby & the baby receives all the care they need. In you case that would be NICU;s doing. Now with the POS man you are living with, Rethink this, this is his son & he should be supportive to you as you are to him over your baby’s problems.
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No. Your soul purpose right now is the babies health. You should not even have to worry about money
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No you should not ’ you have a full time job’ caring for his child’ he shoul support his family
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He needs to step it up. Even if you were to get a job it’s going to be hard if not impossible to find daycare for a special needs baby. You’re still taking on more then half of the responsibilities with all the medical needs of the baby, I’m sure baby daddy isn’t taking time off to deal with it. And for the person saying you still have a responsibility because of your almost 5 yr old, that person has obviously never dated a person with kids from a previous relationship. When you date someone with kids you are signing up to be a parent to that child as well, including all responsibilities. If you don’t want that role in that child’s life then you have no business dating and living with a single parent.
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Honestly I would look in straight in the eye and say ok if you want me to pay the rent then you quit your job and make sure your son gets to every doctors appointment. Gets all his everyday needs as well as all meds and medical supplies he needs.
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That’s not fair. If that’s something that he truly needs, then he needs to contribute to groceries/baby needs and going to his sons appointments even if that means taking off work. Plus, he’ll have to help cover costs of someone to care for his son while you both work. 
you’re supposed to be a family unit. Not your fault the baby has had some serious health issues that weren’t shown early on. And what would he do if you split and go after him for child support on said child?
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Are you in a relationship, or roommates?
Cuz if my other half treated me like that, I’d assume we wernt in this together and we were roommates.
Witch, then fine, makes sence.
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No, that’s not right at all 
he needs to wake up to all the needs his son has and baby needs you to be by his side. Children ideally should be with a primary caregiver for the first 3 years of their life 
Your job right now is the health and safety of your child.
I know a lot of people may not but me and my husband had a chat about “what would happen, bills, rent, what would you expect of me etc” if we had a child. I was happy with his responses as they aligned with mine, and so when I fell pregnant and gave birth I knew he was happy with the arrangement of me staying at home. My son is nearly 4 years old and I’m still a full time mummy. We love our time together.
Hope it all works out for you
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You need to go to Family Court and get advice on where you stand. If you have proof as to what that guy is expecting from you!, take it. It’s best you get legal opinion
If you have no income how do “you” buy all the groceries!? Buy everything the baby needs!?
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Maybe you should kick this baby daddy to the curb…then you will be able to get assistance ! Better yet go cross the border come back illegally and you’ll get all the help you need.
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I kinda see it both ways. He needs to step up for his kid for sure but…Your baby daddy is not responsible for other children you have. They are yours to provide for. Why not work out 50/50 as that is what he wants. He gets 50% of the appointments and groceries and baby products and living expenses. Living off of someone like that is not only toxic, but unhealthy. Somehow you both need to get on the same page about what is expected out of each of you and how to make it happen. For your kid’s sake if nothing else.
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I’d be telling him sure, I’ll pay half the bills when he pays for half the groceries and half of the bay stuff costs. Technically it should all be the same pot and if you’re home raising your kids and doing the house stuff, your man should be paying the rent and be understanding that you’re trying to find income and take care of it until you figure something out. Seems unfair to expect you to do everything and pay rent. Relationships are supposed to be teamwork!
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Thats not a man…smdh 
If you live together no. He is very selfish. Who’s house is it and who’s name is the house in? You all need to work together.
Praying and proclaiming God’s Abundant Provision and Healing over you and your family. 
You / and your son deserve to be taken care of. Get rid of him
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Throw the whole man out.
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No, you have to take care of your baby and he needs to be a man, this is not right.
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He needs to get a grip he ain’t no man how about you charge him for the care you give his son then absolutely ridiculous he needs to be a man n step up I’d show him this thread xxx
Am I missing something? Where does it imply she has 2 children?
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Would you expect him to pay half of the bills if rolls were reversed …
Prayers for both kids and you.
Kick his nohood ass out…an you’ll win the case
Punch him in the throat. MEN $UCK
He is not a real man. Selfish basttard
He sounds like a selfish ass.
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You shouldn’t have to pay bills, you have enough on your plate
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Nope. He needs to grow up
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The hospital should help you with SSDI talk with the social worker there…and to point out the obvious you are with this man and still go half sorry just trying to wrap my head around that well you went half on a baby that count as more then any bill 
as far as your 5 year old he comes with you and be should not be treated as a child and should not even be a subject in an argument or he is a horrible human, it doesn’t seem he is a good support system for you and with what you lil warrior is going thru you need a support system find groups on fb they help even if you don’t comment you can read the posts/ comments and realize your not alone but anyways talk with a social worker, my son was in NICU and the social worker did it all for me, you definitely qualify. good luck:purple_heart: Congratulations on your lil warrior one.
What a douche bag!!!
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If u need to stay home with ur son there r few at home jobs I know of. If ur areas around u does door dash u can take ur kids with u during that job. Or start in care child care. When I wasn’t working and my fiance was I babysat extra 3 to 4 kids every day on top of my own 6 kids. My house was always full but I was bring in some income to get stuff r house needed.
However my opinion on ur SO he’s no man if he can’t stand up for his family when it’s needed.
and after awhile and u get a routine down ud be better off with just u and ur babies.
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Keep an open mind to jobs you can do from home. Yes, life is difficult, however, you CAN do this. Pm me if you’d like. 
hang in there
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Get rid of him. He should be supporting you mentaly not giving you this kind of crap at this time
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So wait, you’re taking care of his child and he wants you to pay half the bills? What does he do to contribute to taking care of his child? I say run now while you can. Push for the SSI and apply for welfare so you can stay home and take care of that baby.
For anyone who has health issues or caring for someone with health issues and trying to juggle with a job, apply for FMLA-Family Medical Leave Act. You cannot be fired for taking off work to take care of business pertaining to who you filed for.
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Is there a parent CNA program in your area? Reach out to your local special needs community and ask what resources are available that you may not have been notified about. My child cannot be sent to a daycare etc because of his diagnosis finding care for him would be impossible financially. Basically the state paid for me to become a CNA, and hired me for so many hours of specialized care that he would get through home care anyways.
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He sounds ridiculous.
Stop having babies by these sorry low life men
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In a perfect world the father of your child and boyfriend would be saying “don’t worry baby, I got this. You take care of what our son needs.” But unfortunately that’s not the reality of things. If he’s asking you to pay for half the rent, is he taking half responsibility of your son? Does he take off work to take him to the doctors, pay for health insurance, ect. To allow you to seek and gain employment? Have you tried looking into warehouse jobs that have an overnight shift that you can work while he stays he with your kids?
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Kick his butt to the curb, file for child support for both children, and talk to social services at hospital etc. They have programs that can help you. I’d also get WIC for child, job and family is a resource, call 211 for resources. Get rid of the headache (I mean “man”) you’ll be better off with out the baggage!
So she wants a free ticket in life? Well adults deal with cancer deal with tons of doctor appointments and still have to pay bills. It’s called provide for your children! Can’t provide for your children you shouldn’t have them!
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I mean honestly it depends on if he can pay the full rent himself? Does he make enough to pay all the rent on his own? If you guys are really struggling super bad, you guys may need to look into section 8 housing, and/or government vouchers for housing. There is help out there. If he makes plenty of money, and if money is not an issue you need to leave because he’s a dick.
Maybe Part time server shift for breakfast hours on the weekend? Get a little cash in your pocket, get out around 2, 2 -3 days a week? Could your Mom or boyfriend or neighbor watch your kids for just a little bit? It’s tough, but you got this! If not, refer to your DHS worker maybe you could get cash assistance for temporary relief.
If you was living by yourself. You’d still need to pay rent. Your landlord won’t let you slide. Life isn’t always easy.
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Tell your sons father “sure, but please start looking around for a nanny with medical experience and let me know how much it’ll be.” He’ll realize quickly it wouldn’t make sense to go back to work bc of childcare costs
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He needs to man up and take care of his family but if he’s saying that he can’t afford all of it on his own then maybe you could do something part time on a different shift as him. Also a sitter will take all your money so that would be pointless to work in the first place. Good luck mama.
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That should tell you a lot about him! You deserve better!
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You need to work nights. It’s your responsibility to support your kids as well. The 5 year old isn’t his ans isn’t his responsibility. You must get child support? If not file. It’s not up to a man to take care of everything. And If you can’t take care of this baby then give him to the state to be placed in a group home.
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File for child support. Oh look it’s a bunch of red flags sewn into the shape of a person
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Find a job that works with his hours he can tend to his child find childcare for the oldest every day he comes home to you jobless is going to be a problem so u decide if u want to keep him ontop of those problems
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Sounds like you need to leave the boyfriend all together
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some of the toxicity on this comment thread is not the vibe 
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Girl don’t listen to these asshats. I completely understand why it would be hard to work right now. Grubhub, door dash, etc. You can take your children with you! And make your own schedule. (Don’t leave the kids in the car tho obviously). However, your child’s father definitely needs to step up. If he wants you to work to pay half the bills and EVERYTHING for the children, ALL the food, then he needs to step up and be a FATHER and take time off work for these appointments. You’re not asking for a free ride, you’re asking for him to help and pay the bills so you can deal with your children who have medical issues that need addressing on a constant basis. I have been lucky to be a stay at home mom for the last 10 years. I’m going back to work because I want to, not because my husband asked me to. He paid the bills, I took care of the children 
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You need a better man. This one is defective.
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Are you and your sons Dad together? It can be really tough when one person is expected to provide but is having trouble doing so. I realize you’re in quite the pickle. If it were me I would pick up a night job (when Dad can be with the kids) or do some Doordash/Instacart work and make a contribution to your families bills. Plus that will get you out of the house for a bit.
hes probably asking because he can’t afford it people!!! If they were paying half before and she’s not thats 100% on HIM! Hes not a low life or a dick he probably just can’t afford it. God the way some of you hate men is so goddamn toxic
Find a part time job for when your husband gets off of work. There’s split shift jobs part time jobs temporary jobs night shift jobs theres jobs for any and every schedule especially now. The baby is 3months old thats usually when maternity leave ends so if everyone else with a 3month old can figure it out im sorry but so can you. I worked with a lady who also had a baby with almost daily medical appointments so she worked part time night shift. Its totally doable to work
Get rid of the guy. You’ll be better off.
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Apply for disability for him and you
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Is finances an issue or he just thinks u should be out working ?
These comments are garbage. Clearly most these people are lucky enough to have healthy babies. And have no idea the energy and time it takes into raising a child with medical issues.
You are in a partnership. You are supposed to be able to lean on each other in tough times. Right now your baby needs you home. And your partner should understand that. People are making it seem like you want him to pay all the bills while you stay home all day and do nothing. While forgetting being a stay at home mom is a 24/7 job. And for the ones saying your 5 year old isn’t his responsibility, he went into the relationship knowing she had another child. That’s taking responsibility right there. Even if his biological father is still in his life. If you are in a serious relationship with someone who has kids. You are accepting some of the responsibility.
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What a stressful situation for your family 
I think your bf is just complaining about something he can control (the bills). Does he know that once the baby gets approved for disability Social Security will issue back pay from the date you applied for it? So if he can manage to keep tgw rent paid and pay enough to keep the utilities on (there’s even places that will help with utilities once in a while that you will be able to qualify for) when the back pay comes, you’ll be able to catch everything up. And I know you want to be home to care for and protect the baby and that is as it should be, but, it could benefit you emotionally to pick up a part time job. Maybe a few hours in the evening or weekends when the dad is home. It would give you a little break and allow you to be around other adults.
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The problem is hes a boyfriend, son’s father, not a husband! Sounds like 6 mo from now with this child’s medical extensive medical issues the father will be gone, might as well get use to doing it alone. Create your own support system because he’s not it
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A real man would be proud that you are caring for your baby the best you can. And would be taking care of your your older child liike his own… for those bashing you… karma will come back on them… hope your baby gets well.
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The baby’s dad is a POS !!!
Some people really just don’t understand how time consuming and difficult it is to be a sahm to a typical kiddo let alone Everything that comes with a medically complex kiddo…
Nobody considered the cost of childcare for 2 kids in order for you to “work”… personally if it was me I’d look into foodstamps and if you two can do split shifts so you don’t have to do daycare that would be what is best… it might also help your partner realize how difficult it is to care for the baby and 5 year old… he either needs to step up his work game so you can stay home or he needs to step up and help with the kids so you can go work outside the home like he wants…
I think this is ridiculous behavior overall… you two had a child together it should be balanced out… write down everything you do in a work week… so he can see just how much work you are doing at home… maybe it’ll change his perspective.
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Sounds like he wants your child support from the previous relationship child.
He doesn’t sound like a good man. Having a child needing lots of medical attention is very hard on everyone, especially the mother.
I hope you get the child tax credit monthly payments for both of your children. I would sign up for section 8, food stamps, Medicaid. Maybe the hospital social worker can help with some resources.
I would get out of the relationship. 
I pray for your strength. Pray for your baby health.
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Just here to say your man aint sh*t
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He’s a jerk. Go to work. Let him stay home and ask him to pay half the bills
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He’s not your boyfriend, he’s your roommate. You have no income, put him on child support, have him take his baby to some of the appointments since we splitting everything 50/50
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My last pregnancy I was in and out of the hospital and then my son was in the NICU for 86 days. My man would never have dreamt about saying that. He supported us like he is supposed to.
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Oh no what a blaggard. Putting that much stress on you like you haven’t enough worries.send him back to the factory, he’s defected, sounds like you’re doing everything alone as it is. Stay strong 
.
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I don’t agree with you having to pay half but if he is going to request half of the bills then he needs to take on half of the care and Dr appointments for the child. Expecting one person to play both roles is not fair.
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Sounds like dad doesn’t want to deal with you or the baby and he’s just being an ass. Any good man would pick up the slack so you could help your baby get through this. Sorry you’re dealing with this.
With ssi they’ll deny you the first time sometimes the second but don’t give up n get a disability lawyer they’ll get you approved n they’ll take some of the back pay for helping but remember they also do reviews so if your child gets better they can take the ssi away.
Get you and your baby away from this loser!
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Have you put him on child support? Since he wants to keep finances separate and you to pay for all the baby stuff?
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His first concern should be that baby’s health. That’s more important then any kind of money. He should be happy he has someone willing to drop everything for his child.
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Ahhh no he should pay for what you can’t. You are looking after his kid, raising his kid, and also you are still recovering from giving birth and also going through a lot with the baby. Tell him to grow some balls. And pay for all the bills! What a cunt! He ain’t a man if he can’t even look after his own family.
He’s not a real man If he can’t provide for you. What a loser.
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Go on your own, get him for child support, and get help with community programs, then slowly get a job and get back into school, or learn a trade.
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Girl no! U deserve better then him! Especially if his main concern isnt that baby!!
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This is not a man! His concern should be your son not who pays what. If that’s what he wants get a job and tell him he is responsible for appointments and care while you go out to make the 50% he so desperately needs.
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This is a big red flag. You should have someone that’s willing and wants to take care of you when you aren’t at your 100%. Someone that doesn’t pick apart the petty shit. Sounds like you need to lose the whole guy and move on
Wow cant believe what i reading
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Try putting baby on medicaid they can help u with ssi for baby and u. The social worker at hospital got it all done for my daughters son
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Wait a min… are you guys together or are you just living with him cuz you dont have anywhere else to go?
Ummmmm … Speaking from experience . . Take your baby n run … that ain’t shit …
Groceries, your kid’s necessities, and travel expenses for your son’s appointments is still paying your part. It’s still a bill! If you’re the one going to all the appointments, caring for a newborn and stressing over the health of your children, you’re doing your part!! He needs to tough it out without complaining because while he may feel all his money is being sacrificed, you’re giving so much more for HIS child than he’s appreciating you for. Get public assistance. If your combined income falls between their guidelines for a family of 4, they will help you with rent, food stamps, and Medicaid.
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Put him on child support then give him half of the money you take from him.
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Do you have family you & children can stay with. This man is no man!! The baby should come first!!! You need to get out ASAP!!! Stick him for child support! Right now there is no way you can leave your baby & work.
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I don’t know where your ladies find these sorry ass men but I would get rid of his butt just as soon as I could.He has no compassion and does not deserve to be around children.
No you shouldnt so here is what you do mama throw away the whole loser and go for child support hes worthless and cruel being a parent is hard when there are no health issues i cannot imagine being in your shoes .hugs to you
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Your kids dad sounds like an absolute idiot and you should just leave him
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Are you together? Married? If married it blows my mind how many post I am seeing lately about splitting bills. Maybe my husband and I are the weird ones. Who knows. All of our money goes in to one account and that pays the bills. If there is anything left over it goes to whoever. His money is mine and my money is his. Period. Has always been that way. I couldn’t imagine it being any other way. If you are unable to have a job to take care of your child then he picks up the slack until you can go back to work. No questions asked.
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I’m sorry he’s pressuring you into this. Wow just wow. I would put him on child support and expect him to take him to half the Dr appointments.
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