You probably qualify for other government assistance- medical assistantance would aliviate bills for all that. Food stamps you probably even qualify for cash assistance in your current condition. As far as your partner goes I would highly recommend reconsidering him all together because my husband insisted on taking care of the household bills all 3 times I got pregnant with healthy pregnancy although I did choose to work with my last one the entire pregnancy. I stayed until the day before delivery but having said that your pregnancy sounds very high risk and scary knowing your virtually going it alone with no support from the one person your supposed to count on when times are hard. Thatās what your situation is a hard time sounds like heās more worried about himself.
If he wants you to pay half of the rent, then itās only fair to expect him to pay half of the expenses for your chikd(ren) - like food/formula, diapers, co-pays, wipes, medication, specialist co-pays, clothes, etc.
List out what you purchase versus what he buys, then if he still wants you to pay half - tell him what hours heāll be expected to be home to take care of kids, housework, etc. so you can find a job and then go to work. Right now, heās forgetting how easy he has it. He just needs a refresher, thatās all.
Caring for a child with these needs can cost more than regular daycare and other expenses. The only thing that makes sense at this point is work part time when he is off work if that is even possible. He needs to consider some serious budgeting right now instead of pressuring you to work though. Weāve went down to one income, and it took a lot of sacrifices at first.
I have to say that sometimes in relationships things change. For instance I used to work full time and and my husband stayed home while he was an alcoholic and then eventually went to a rehab. Then I had our first child and he started working 75 hours a week. When he lost his job I picked one up.
A year ago we had a second baby and it made more sense for him to be a stay at home dad because I normally have a better income. I am working 75 hours+ right now. But hez been diagnosed with agoraphobia and has a fear of leaving our home so we are trying to get him to apply for ssdi. But only because he wants to help so I can be home a little more. I feel like sometimes the roles switch in a relationship and both parties have to make changes to accommodate eachother. Its not easy but it happens. It turns out my husband loves his full time stay at home dad position haha. Because its a full time job too. Our son has autistic tendencies and our daughter was pretty sick for a while.
That manās first concern should be providing everyoneās needs so that his ill child can be taken care of. This is what happens when men arenāt the head of the household and arenāt the leaders God made them to be. The whole home is broken.
Does he realize this new baby will have to go into daycare and that anything you make will go to that alone. Does he have any idea how expensive that is especially a child with a disability.
What is wrong with relationships these days itās his kid too be a man and help. If you want her to pay some bills herself take your kid to his appointments and she can go to work.
Itās a TEAM effort. How do people still struggle with this?? If you are caring for all of the special needs things while the dad is able to make the money then they money should be going on the bills. Itās not about mine and yours itās our OURS. As a special needs mom who had to give up working to be there for the kids, and my husband is the only income provider I know first hand that what you are doing is so mental and emotional hell. Especially when you canāt work to take your mind off of it. Itās his job as the other parent to step up in any way he can, just as you are. You guys need to be able to work something out that is a compromise and equal, as a TEAM. That baby is both of you. Therefore he needs both of you in different ways to make sure his life has the most opportunity possible. It can be done on one income, and it will be hard. And people will have to go without things, but it can be done. We once had to do it on $9 an hour of one income and get to therapy in Indy multiple times a week, while also trying to work around my husbands job and night school. Thereās was very little sleep. No luxuries, no free time, and a lot of stress. But where one would fall the other would be there to pick them up. And we got through it. You guys can too. I hope the best for your son. I truly do.
Teamwork. No matter what the situation always have a plan to work together, so both know and feel the struggles together on what needs to get done. What does he suggest should happen? Asking to pay half does sound like she is a roommate, not a partner.
My husband has a shattered leg with no bone growth and he took care of me and my daughter for a year before we got married when we had no income, tell him to man the hell up. Iām so sorry society has deemed shit like this normal nobody deserves this 
Itās hard for only one person to work in this day and time. Maybe he stressed he canāt do it by himself. Sit and talk and figure it out. Idk if youāre together or not, if not then yes , you should be paying half as he should be for the child too if itās his. If together, you should be a team.
Tell him to stay home so you can work to pay bills. Lol no you should not have to pay half. Iām shocked at the amount of people who deal with this bs in a relationship.
If he wants you to pay half the bills and be a stay-at-home mom and he needs to pay you for being a stay home mom since youāre not sending him to daycare
You donāt say if your sonās dad can afford to pay 100% ā¦ doubtful if you were paying half. Sounds like you need to find a way to reduce expenses or get income going from a home based job if you can
Even if the child wasnāt medically needy your ājobā is taking care of the kid and the house and him. And unfortunately you donāt get paid for it but no you should not be paying bills. Tell him to add up how much it would cost to get a maid, a cook, a baby sitter/day care, etc. Because thatās how much youāre saving him
If he is going to expect you to work then he would then be expected to heāll make that possible by taking on half of the tasks you do for your child. I. all honestly I feel a lot of time men donāt see the work that goes on in home.
Unfortunately, he probably should get a second job. Your son needs you. He canāt go to daycare with his health problems and that is extremely expensive anyway!
If he canāt man up while youāre down then heās no good to you, seeing as to u just had his child. 
itās not about half and half, itās about having each otherās back.
Yeah are together raising childrenā¦ Heās supposed to pick up the disco when needed just as you should tell him to man up
Thatās ridiculous that you are the only one responsible where are the grandparents that should.help with grandchild
Hit the baby daddy with child support then hand it back for your half of the bills. If he wants to be petty be petty right back.
Give him an invoice for a special circumstance babysitter (that includes running him to appointments. ) he will see how much you are "earning "/saving by not working. Also make a list of what you do, do. Then a list of what he does. See which is longer.
Get on top of the SSI. You need to call atleast once a week because they will take thier time if you donāt. If you applied when baby was still in the nicu it shouldnāt take to long. Unfortunately bills still have to get paid, however Iām not sure your husband realizes how expensive private nursing care is. If youāre on the verge of losing the roof over your head and your partner canāt afford the bills, then you need to work nights and he work days or vice versa. No daycare will take a baby with health issues like youāve stated. A relative who doesnāt have any knowledge of babyās health issues isnāt an option either (it wasnāt for me because they donāt get it). Unless one of you has a fmaily member who was in the medical field and can take care of your child as you would, you donāt really have a choice.
I know you have appts but have you considered finding remote work? What type of field do you currently work in? I understand things are difficult and the whole situation was unexpected but can you guys afford where you live right now just on his income? You need to both sit down and talk about how to move forward. Make a budget for the time being. Companies are working extra hard to find people to hire right now with included incentives. Find somewhere that works with you and your schedule for you sons appts. I understand you want to he there for your baby 100% but you also have to look at it from a financial perspective too. If youāre affording your lifestyle on 2 incomes itās probably why your SO is currently stressing if you canāt afford it on his alone.
If thatās what the agreement was from the start, then yes I believe you should still be paying your half. Let dad take baby to half the appointments and youāll be able to work as well.
Well, I would suggest, that he starts splitting the time off, so he can take at least half those appointment and needs, so that you can work to make him happy with contributing that way. This means his income will be reduced by 50%. Will that make the lightbulb go on for him? Hard to say. But he is responsible for his childās needs just as much as you are, however that is accomplished. Heās not responsible for your needs or your older child, however, the fact that you are full time caregiving that child, heās not having to pay some high skill level individual for the part heās responsible, plus taking the time off for those appointments, it more than makes up for the rent amount unless itās completely ridiculous. I imagine the caregiver level you would pay for someone capable and licensed to take care of your childās healthcare needs he would be paying between $30 to $50/ hr conservatively. For you, keep going after that SSI, and any Medicaid type help, with his needs you may be eligible for that. Talk to your childās specialists, they may know of resources. My take is your BF is having sour grapes over having a medically needy child which will require mire care for a long time, which also means his girlfriend ie you are less available to satisfy his wants. I donāt know if heās pushing you out in his way, or if heās just really immature, but Iād sit him down and make it clear the financial impact it will have in him personally if heās going to be unreasonable and demand you go back to work.
Hokd on what? Are youās still together?
If yes, why on earth is he asking you to go halves? Youāre his partner and the mother of his child! Wtf
Tell him to grow up. My husband took on 3 jobs before we were married to be able to buy a house for us. He made sure I only worked one so I could be home with our daughter. Thatās a real man.
And whatās HE paying for the child?! Howās HE caring for his child?! Sorry but Iād be leaving, move with your family if you can.
Keep trying for the SSI they usually will turn you down the first and second time but donāt give up youāll get it then as for unemployment keep trying for that too cuz they do the same thing. Theyāll send you off hoping you just give up thatās what they do best oh, but donāt give up as for your babyās daddy, he needs to grow some balls and man up and take care of his responsibilities to you and the children it doesnāt matter if your other child is not his blood. When he chose you he chose your child to. And if he does want to man up and take responsibility then kick him to the curb. Without him you could get a lot more help for your baby and yourself through the government benefits until you are able to go back to school or go back to work or whatever. But right now that baby needs you
Um NO! Iām sorry to say but Iād seriously be questioning my marriage if my husband was this insensitive. With all do respect a lot of women donāt leave because they think they canāt do it on their own. However once your on your own you will qualify for all the public assistance you need to get stable that you canāt qualify for together, youāll get help with housing, medical appointments, and child support to help with your bills. The initial step is scary but the relief youāll feel once all the cards fall in place will all be worth it. If he cares that little let him see them when he wants and worry about you and your kids first. No one wants to do all that alone nor should they have to but it sounds like your alone already.
He should step up and regardless take care of his family and not ask you for shit for the moment , maybe when things get going and settled baby on a schedule to where you can start working etc , but father should help while you run baby everywhere and stay up and do all the grunt work to care for the child.
Yes. You should go to work when heās at hone watching the baby.
That is so sad other people get in unemployment donāt deserve it not fair
My manās would never make me workā¦ especially if we had a baby with life threatening complications, however if it was a matter of āwere gonna be homeless if I donāt get a jobā then I absolutely would work.
Alot of the responses on this explain why we have the abusive, non empathetic, irresponsible men we have now.
imma be blunt and honest Its a handful and hard on both parents but it wont hurt you to get a part time job. I went back to work at 3 weeks post partum full time factory due to us needing money to provide for our son so all the stress wasnāt just on my spouse and I still made the time to care for my child
Start with WIC. Also apply for the baby to get SSI. Food stamps. Your husband will have to step it up. Budget wisely. Work as a team. Remind him of this.
All the comments he should take all financial responsibilities? Itās his son also so Iām sure heās just as stressed in regards to the medical issues but is it fair he takes all the financial burden on top of it? Thatās a lot to ask of someone especially if he wasnāt planning for this situation. You both need to find a happy medium to distribute responsibility and finances that works for your family. Just because heās the dad yāall feel entitled to bash him to āhold down his familyā, this isnāt 1940 anymore.
Compromise. I wait tables and work around my husbands work schedule to avoid daycare cost.
Get rid of the boyfriend. He should be supporting you not treating you like this. Itās financial abuse. Contact womenās aid for support and advice. Or Tell him that maybe he should be the one taking care of the baby while you go back to works mad he can do all that you currently do AND pay half the rent, the bills, AND buy all the groceries!
Itās financial abuse. Donāt let him abuse you
If you call the office for SSI there is a way to apply for emergency funds which should get you some kind of income.
The baby should get his own SSIā¦for disability
Ask him how ? How do you take your son to all the apt and work?
Leave him 
hes not gonna get better hun and hes adding unnecessary stress you to you when your kiddo is needing your full attention
Sound like your already doing it alone 
Dump him. Get a man who will be empathetic to your situation.
Throw him out , file for child support and health insurance ,get a roommate .
Man, people need to stop having kids with someone you havenāt planning a decent life with.
People having babies with someone they are dating and wondering why thereās so many problems.
Anyway, im going to tell you right now this relationship isnāt going to work. The man has zero interest in having you as his little woman at home. He doesnāt love you and is making it clear he isnāt going to be providing. The financial abuse will soon set in.
Figure a way to get out if he wonāt budge on this matter.
This is what happens when kids are born into situations that arenāt planned for, wanted and thought out.
This is what happens when you make babies with a BOY and play house. Damn shame
Everything isnāt being told in this story. What were you doing before you got pregnant? Were yāall splitting half the bills then? Having children shouldnāt change how you provide and run your household. Iām assuming itās his child. Something needs to be worked out where he helps and takes the baby to appointments. So you can have a job. I didnāt even see where you mentioned this is your husband. This is a team effort. Yes itās new and will take some adjustments. However all of this shouldnāt fall on him. Just like itās not just your responsibility to take care of the kids alone. A serious conversation needs to be had. You donāt feel itās fair to you to have to pay for having a roof over you and your childrenās head. Yet itās fair to him that heās supposed to take on all this financial responsibility by himself. You need a plan that works for both of you. Find something to do from home. You have to make it work.
The fact my comment got reported, is ridiculous. I hurt someoneās feeling for being truthful 
Wow, really disappointed in this dad.
Imo, if you have a child with someone, itās all about figuring out what works to provide for the children. The āwe each pay halfā or āwe each pay the equivalent percentage of out paychecksā thing should be for the start of a relationship when youāre not sure if you will be staying together long term. Once youāre at the having a baby stage, it should be āpool all of our money together and make it workā.
My g/f and I have 3 kids, and a similar but long term situation. We decided that since babysitting/daycare would be so expensive, it made sense for her to be a stay at home mom and I go to work and pay all the bills. Honestly, 3kids us a true full time job by itself. Thatās what works for us. If she found a good paying job in her field, we would switch and I would stay at home. Itās all about whatās best for the kids though.
What in the actualā¦ So heās basically saying he doesnāt care what his child needs, youāre his roommate and need to get shit done. He definitely doesnāt have the mental, emotional or financial means to take care of hisā¦
Have you applied for DORS jobs? They pay you to care for a sick family member. Dept of rehab services
Call human arc. They got my son approved for SSI in less than a month. You may have to pay a small fee if youāre approved. I was forced to quit my job when my son was born. My FMLA was up 3 weeks before I even had a doctor note. Plus my son was in the NICU for 3 monthsā¦ I didnāt go back to work for a year and a half. We struggled. It was tight. It only worked because of the SSI. If he wants you to work he will have to be flexible in his work schedule. Having a child with disabilities or special needs is a different kind of experience. Personally I would never have a baby sitter or day care for my special needs child no way. Maybe nursing. Not all insurance pays for that. Is dad prepared to step up and help take full time care of your child? Is the real question.
I would leave him 
make him pay full rent
He sounds like a loser 
This is what happens when you play house.
Honey, lose that whole man and start overā¦ PERIOD
The dude is really trying to make you pay the bills when youāre caring for his sick child ? Throw the whole dude away.
This is Financial Abuse!! 
Heās using the shit out of you
Youāre sons dad is old fashion thatās allā¦ new generationā¦ make your own rules and way of living. Stop worrying about others
You picked the wrong guy
Sounds like sheās needs a new man, not a new jobā¦
I think you may be in big trouble with this guy. Making pay child support
I have no answers but hello from another medically complex parent 
Umm no u are taking care of a child thatās his too
Foodstsmps also heād treating you like a roomate
Tell him to pay a maid and babysitter then
He selfish needs to grow up and take one for the family that is his job as a father both roles are hard tell him
Heās being extremely unfair. Would he be saying the same thing if you were married?? Like, I do t understand what his end game isā¦? To piss you off?
He knows what youāve been doing and going through and he chooses to be an absolute asshole about it?
I would straight up ask him āand where would you like me to get this fantasy cash youāre expecting? And if I do in fact go to work, who will be taking him to his appointments? Are you taking time off of work to do this?ā Pause for an answerā¦
He wonāt have one. Iām sure.
Tell him to suck it the fuck up and either be a man, a father and a partner or fuck off.
This is maddening!
I hope your son gets all of the treatments he needs to get better and live as normal of a life as he possibly can. 
Heās a POS, thatās his child that youāre caring for. Iād be looking to move elsewhere, heās gonna always be pissed if you canāt bring in income. Tell him youāll work and he can take care of the kids 100%. His ass needs to get a second jobā¦. You do everything for that child!
Has he expressed any ideas on how he expects you to magically pull the money out of your ass?
It sounds like he isnāt really involved in this relationship, and doesnāt wish to support you or the children. You better get a back up plan because I doubt itās going to get any better.
If this guy is still your husband then I say absolutely not. This is his child & you obviously canāt work. He needs to get off his lazy butt & work 2 or more jobs to support his family
1.Make a stiff drink
2.dump the idiot
3.get a lawyer for Ssdi (thatās what I did) SSI you have to pay that money back if I am not mistaken
What you need to do is leave his low-life, weak, loser @$$ . Where did the MEN go? Literally. 
My husband takes care of of all the bills and rent since our second baby , so no you should have too
Tell him youāll hire a nurse so you can go back to work but heās responsible for paying the nurse. What a jerk.
What would you have to pay if baby daddy wasnāt there?
You need a new, not so self absorbed BOYfriend !! A real MAN takes care of things. Best of luck to you and your children 
Well, heās an ass for wanting you to do that since your taking care of his babies needs
Arsehole bin him concentrate of yourself and you kids . What a twanker for taking that attitude ewwww just eewwwe
Heās a selfish man needs to grow up and take one for the family
If he isnāt helping with food n baby things then that is half
Sorry about your baby. Wish you all the best. Your husband can go to h-e-double hockey sticks.
Sounds like itās tone for you to ask daddy for child support 
Sounds like your babies father is a literal garbage!
Absolutely not. He is a horrible person.
Heās obviously irresponsible idiot, why are you wasting another minute on this person does he care about his child?
If the lifestyle your family is living canāt be maintained without your income and you want to continue living that lifestyle then YES!!! You guys have an unwell childā¦ medical bills and gas for appointments alone are huge drains financially!! You guys need to sit down and figure out whatās most important to both of you. If you guys canāt work out a palatable plan for you to go back to work, you could look for ways to downgrade your lifestyle (smaller house, cheaper neighborhood, cheaper vehicle that gets better gas mileage, etc). Starting a gofundme to possibly help with medical expenses wouldnāt be a bad idea either. Good luck mama! Iām sorry youāre baby is unwellš I cannot imagine how much you are suffering!! I donāt know how you manage to formulate thoughts atpš stay strong mama!! #sendinglove
Wow this is terrible 
Kick his ass to the curb
Apply for SSI for your child
He needs to man up!!!
Man some guys just aināt men 
im sorry no you shouldnt have to work or pay the bills,homie can get a second job but a man would know that so it sounds like you are working with a kid 
I would start applying for section 8 all over the country and go to the first place that calls. You apply with your income day of arrival. 0. Thats how i peft my pos kids dad who sounds rather similar to this douche canoe https://affordablehousingonline.com/
I would go to the state and tell whats up and see ir you can get any cash assistance
Sounds like you need a new baby daddyā:woman_shrugging:t3: