Should I invite my ex to our childs party?

I am freinds really great freinds with my sons dad even though he has grilfreind were no longer togther we still do things togther birthdays party is for the child not ex

Don’t invite the boyfriend then. Wtf.

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Well said Lisa Thompson.

Tell the current boyfriend to get over his issue and either get on board with you co-parenting your child with your ex, or make him another ex.

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Children come first. I would invite your child’s father.

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It’s about your child, not your boyfriend. I think you should absolutely invite your child’s father to their birthday party. It’s not fair to your child to have be allowed to have their daddy there.

Do what’s best for your child. He can get over it. You need to put your child first.

Whose feelings matter more to you, your bf’s or your kids?

It’s not about them they can act like grown ass adults for one afternoon and put whatever issues they have for the sake of a child and making HIM happy on his birthday!
That’s his dad.

I live in a very odd family. My girls father left me to try to work things out with his wife that he hadn’t been with in 18 years. But we all lived in the same house together. The girls have both parents plus a bonus mom even after their dad and bonus mom didn’t work out and are now getting a divorce. She and I are still close even though he and I are back on track to get married. I. We all co-parent together well with love and respect. The girls know they are loved and lucky to have bonus parents if and when their bonus mom decides she finds she has found someone special enough to join in our family

You should want to invite him, if your boyfriend has an issue with it too bad. Tell him that’s not how co parenting works!

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We all co parent we attend all of her things as a family

You get rid of the new guy or he needs to grow up and realize thats the kids dad. I split with my ex when I was 4 months pregnant our daughter will be 2 in May. I will always invite him no matter what but its up to him to come.

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Maybe its to soon. Each have your own party ,and keep it a goal to have your parties together in the future.

I always invited my kids dad to their parties. Even his parents. It’s about the kid and my current husband understands this and never took issue with it.

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Me and my ex split in 2016 hes married to someone else and so am I weve been getting along and I’ve shared birthdays with him for 2 years now to make it easier instead of birthdays split up and invite his family my family and my husband’s family it’s the childs day if they cant get along for a couple hrs for a child there is some issues honestly my husband doesnt like my ex but there is good reasoning behind it but he was able to get along with him for the sake of my daughter for a couple hrs so that she could see her whole family together in one place for her special day if your bf has an issue maybe talk to him and ask questions to see why he feels the way he does it can happen but if someone is going to get in the way and cause unneeded tension then maybe he shouldnt be there

Well cause my kids dad has such an issue with my bf for no reason
 my bf can’t come to my kids bdays. My kids see their dad on weekends and it’s their dad so he comes ofcourse. But it’s an all around crap situation. All cause someone can’t suck it up and be an adult. My bf is there for my kids and loves them too. So don’t know what to tell ya. Depends how everyone gets along.

Your new dude is already telling you how to parent YOUR child and is uncomfortable around an ex. He needs to GO. You already know this is F’d up or you wouldn’t be on here asking total strangers. Listen to your gut.

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He’s always gonna have a issue with him as long your with your bf it’s always gonna be like that

#kidsFirst invite him. Its not about your ex seeing you happy, it’s about your son and having his parents be mature enough to make him the priority.

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My kids dad and I split a year ago and he’s got a new fiancĂ© and happy and I invite them both over. I was the bigger person and realized we all need to get along for the kids and we’re not best of friends but we get along for the kids. I invited him to our kids party and he brought his girlfriend. Just depends how you feel I don’t see an issue with it

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The bf might not be comfortable with him as a person but he surely can be adult enough to be civil for your sons happiness? Something wrong there if he can’t be.

You should invite him. If ur current man has a problem with that them he most likely is not the one for you

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Invite ur ex/kid father and un-invite ur current boyfriend. Ur current boyfriend seems to be lacking some maturity and need to man up and realize it’s about the child not his ego

You had the baby when he met you. Assuming he had the intelligence to know you didn’t have the child yourself and there was a dad involved. He’s gonna have to get over it.

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#byefelicia
 that guy is so rude

Try to get him to meet the ex they might get along
 explain to him that it would mean the world to your child, also that your happy with him you don’t want your ex back you just want everyone to get along :heart:

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My parents always both came to my birthday until my dad got remarried and his new wife wasn’t comfortable with it. It broke my heart. I would invite him. He will always be the dad and your boyfriend might not always be the boyfriend. Its not like your gone hanging out alone. And even then. It’s for your child not eachother.

Reading some of these posts got me thinking about human life. I think that’s the nicest way of putting it. đŸ€Š

Ummmm yes, it’s his kid. If it wasn’t his kid then I wouldn’t but it’s not about YOU or HIM or your NEW MAN, but it’s about YALLS kid! Your kid needs the memories.

in 5he your ex if your new boyfriend has a problem with your ex being at your son’s birthday party tell him to go suck on a nap when shut up it is your son’s birthday party is not about the parents it is about the children so you do that what you said invite the baby daddy as long as he’s a decent man and is therefore her son kind of thing.

It really depends on the situation. If he’s uncomfortable, you might want to have this conversation with him and find out why and reassure him first / just have some respect because his feelings do matter, especially if he’s helping out with the child etc
 maybe come with some guidelines or ground rules that can keep things calm, it’s a tough situation to be in for the bf and for you. Good to establish these types of boundaries now though rather than cause issues later on !

Or do what I do with my daughter I personally (for reasons I don’t need to explain to anyone) can’t get along with my daughter’s father so I will have half her bday he the other half or vise versa she’s knows we don’t live together Christmas and birthdays she just gets double and she doesn’t mind. My family is huge my ex’s is pretty big too so it gives her the chance to spend time with everyone. Makes it a little more difficult but it’s nessasary. My current partner is amazing with my daughter and he hates my ex but for the sake of my daughter is completely civil towards my ex and that is how it should be

He will have to deal for next 15 years. Definitely for child’s sake invite. New guy gotta grow up

Your boyfriend is just that a boyfriend. Your childs father will always be there as her father. He should be 100% in clueded

It’s so much better for the kiddos when everyone is there and involved and getting along! My kids love when we all do dinner together or share birthday parties!

My kiddos father and step mother and me and their step dad!! All under one roof enjoying each other’s company

My ex has come to our kids parties. However with both don’t have new partners. Kids don’t usually mind having 2 parties - one with Mum and one with dad in my experience

The new by needs to get use to it your child is 3. There are going to be years of important dates for your child, birthdays, school functions, engagement wedding etc
 if he can’t handle it then he is the one that needs to stay away.

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Your current boyfriend is going to have to accept the fact that you and your ex have a child together. It’s very important that you and your co-parent on a healthy level for your child. It’s Important for your child to see that you two can be happy and civil and not together and if your current boyfriend is already giving you problems about it then clearly he’s not the one.

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Put your child happiness FIRST. Co parenting is a rare thing and you two have accomplished that. Your new boyfriend is insecure and that is jot good terms for a relationship.

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The Big “Children” need to learn to get along. Dad should have the opportunity to enjoy his child’s special day
 its about the child. If your new man has an issue, politely remind him its not HIS day, and ask him to make arrangements to spend his day elsewhere
 and tell him to grow up!!

My ex and i do holidays bdays etc and sometimes just chill because it’s what’s best for our kids
 ur new guy better get used to it cuz he will be apart of your life for the rest of iit cuz u share a child together
 it’s not about ur boyfriend it’s about your child

Who cares about what current bf says. That’s your child’s father and he has a right to be at the party.

Invite the dad. It’s your sons party not your current boyfriends. Would your son WANT his dad there? That’s your answer

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New guy needs to grow tf up. It’s for the child not him. If he is planning to stay around then he needs to get used to this like this. Parties, ball games, dancing, school programs. Don’t leave the bio dad out of your child’s life.

If you get along with him, the the bf needs to respect that and learn to get along also. Its better that the kids see adults parenting together than the constant bickering that tends to happen

I co parent and there is no way on this earth I would invite my ex to my daughters birthday party he can do something with her when he see her that’s my point view

I think it’s an important lesson for your daughter to learn that there are going to be people in life that you may not like or get along well with, but you can still act courteously and always with the utmost respect towards them.

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And think about the years to come. Not only birthdays, but other special occasions. Her first dance, prom, graduation, her own wedding, the grandchildren you will share. Her daddy should be there for all of them.

Coming from a split family you should invite the parent. Having two of everything was hard on me and can be very hard on kids. I wish my parents would have just got over there differences and done stuff like this because it was very exhausting!!

My ex comes to our childrens parties and brings along his partner. We all get along and it’s shows our children that parents who separate can get along and co parent

Invite him. If he says no its on him

Just like everyone said. His gonna have to put on his man pants and accept it. You made the decision. Invite him to the party. I am sure your kid would’ve love that

He has a right to be at his kids birthday how wpuld ur new partner like it if the tables were turned

Your bf needs to grow up. Geesh.

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I invited my husbands ex. It’s not my birthday party it’s their birthday party so they should have all the people there that are important to them. Point blank.

Welll
 it’s really not about your current bf
 it’s about your child and what is best for her/him.

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Remember, he’s just a bf. He can whine like a little bitch all he wants. What matters is your child.

Ask yourself
why not. You DO NOT need opinions.

Set boundaries. There are lines that you just dont cross. He got with you knowing you had a child with someone else so he gotta accept everything and anything that you and your childs father does as a team that involves your child. Simple as that.

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Not being rude but forget him ! It’s not his party. What if he had a son and wasn’t invited to his own sons party ? He would feel like butt. Co parent. If he can’t co parent when your baby’s 3 at a birthday party then what do you think he’s gonna do about graduation, weddings, baby’s ???

I did this. Best move we ever made. It’s about the kids not the adults in the situation. I even have a picture of me, bonus mom and our kiddo

It’s the kid’s Bday
 tell your BF to grow up. If he wants to be your man
 he needs to learn how to deal with it. You don’t want to take away things from your daughter’s life for the comfort of a Boyfriend
 its not even your husband. Listen to yourself


Tell the BF to man up and grow some balls or leave.

Tell the current bf to deal or he doesnt have to go to the party. The party isnt about him or bis feelings. If he cant man up and see that having both parents there would be best for your child then he can kick rocks imo

If your boyfriend has an issue then too bad your child should alway be first in mind no matter what .

Me and my ex have shared birthday parties. We usually let his mom plan them and our families come together. I wouldn’t date a man who had an issue with it or our friendship. My ex wouldn’t be a priority but our kid is. Anyone trying to get between that is an issue for me personally. I broke things off with a guy because he was ignoring me due to my ex wanting to see his child for the first time since he was in a different country when I had her. I don’t have room for ANYTHING childish in or out of a relationship. Takes up too much precious time and energy. I want my ex and new love, whoever he is, to be able to drink beers together and be cool when at family functions or visits at each other’s houses. My ex doesn’t have custody since he travels a lot so we have to make plans with each other. If someone has issues with baby daddy, they shouldn’t be around or should come to an understanding. It’s about the child.

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Honestly if you can all be in the same room that is great. It makes things flow so much easier for everyone. When my ex had custody we used to all just do outings with all the kiddos. It made everyone feel comfortable. It will probably take your bf a while to understand the importance of the bonds between both family’s. My husband wasn’t exactly thrilled at first but I as the parent knew how important it was for our son and how it would help in the future. I don’t think your boyfriend is a bad person, I just don’t think he understands bcuz he doesn’t have a kid in that situation. If he had a kid I’m sure he would want to be at the kids bday party. But also keep in mind that every outing does not need your ex. Having things with just your family is fine too. But bringing both families together will benefit in the long run

When I lived in the same state as my ex we (my hubs and i) invited him to all the things. It’s about the child not the adults. You, your ex and if you and your bf plan to stay together will have to learn to co parent and understand each other for the sake of your child. Adult’s feelings and opinions aside.

I have always held to the belief that as long as I did everything to not stand in the way of a relationship between my son and his dad that one day whether near or far off he would open his eyes and see what kind of person his dad truly is. If my kid wanted to drive 1300 miles one way to spend summer with dad after we moved then I drove him bc his dad only did it once. It took 15 years but my son finally saw it. And almost 3 years later he called his dad and cut ties with him. My son told me thank you and hugged me, because I didnt push my views and opinions of his dad onto him and I would not allow anyone else kn my family to do that either.

It’s all u

Invite him!!! Trust me you and your child are blessed beyond words! my ex continuously hurts my daughter always has!!! It is more important for your child to be happy than your bf! Always put your child before your bf if hes right for your family he’ll understand! My parents have been divorced for 38 years my mom and dad both come to all our parties we even threw a birthday party for my mom and my dad came! Means a lot to us even now!

I would take into consideration WHY you BF has an issue w your ex being invited to HIS child’s Bday party
 is there an actual legitimate reason why your BF has a problem w your ex & w your ex being around?? Was he abusive to you and/or the child, is he a good dad
?? But once you answer those questions honestly, you might need to sit down and have a convo w your BF :woman_shrugging: If the boyfriend just doesn’t like your ex or is jealous/insecure, you’re gonna hafta put your foot down here and let him know, in no uncertain terms, that like it or not, you ex is Daddy & he has every right to be included & involved. It sounds like you & dad are trying to keep it friendly for the sake of co-parenting 
 and that is absolutely fantastic!!! Keep it up because that is the best case scenario for your child(ren). Sounds like your boyfriend might just hafta grow up a lil bit here. Good luck lady, as it’s not the easiest of situations.

Your son deserves to have his father there on his birthday, and your ex should be able to share the childs birthday. If your boyfriend doesn’t understand the son and his father will always be together then think about this long and hard.

Invite the ex. He will always be a part of the child’s life. The new boyfriend needs to get over it and realize that it is just the way life is going to be if he is going to stick around.

My husband and I have been together for 5 years and 4 months. We started dating in October 2014, my daughter turned 5 years old December 2014. My BF (now husband) cleaned my back yard, trimmed all the grass and pulled all the weeds. Raking everything up getting the yard bounce house and party ready. My ex and his family were all invited. My BF talked and hung out with all of them. Showing my daughter how much she meant to him and how he would always respect her father. I’m grateful for the man I married!! He’s always shown me that what truly matters is our children. I tried having the same type of respect for my bonus daughter’s mother. I’ve always shown love and respect. The beginning was very difficult because she had so much hate and anger towards the fact that my BF and I were together. So we were never able to do the same with her. However I Pray for the Day that we can all celebrate our 7 year old together as a family!! Remember it’s the kids that matter at the end of it all!!

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I have been in this situation. If all parties are okay with it, it’s a great thing. If not, it just creates tension. Nobody, including the child, benefits from that. Kids pick up on it fast, and they remember . Being polite in passing is easy. A whole party just pushes that and there are a lot of people’s emotions at stake
most importantly your child’s. They didn’t ask for the divorce, and there is obviously a reason you separated. It can be okay
but most often I think inclusion after separation just causes confusion, no matter how good the intention seems.

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Your current boyfriend needs to put his feelings aside for the sake of the child. It’s their special day and I’m sure he would like to be able to celebrate his birthday with his Mom and Dad. Your current boyfriend has to understand that you are always going to be tied to the father of your child but that doesn’t mean you want to get back together with him. I’m sensing a bit of jealousy here

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Dump the boyfriend. Or get him to grow up. My husband (Black suit)was the only man I dated who didn’t have a problem with me and my ex husband (grey suit) being friends. That’s when you know you have a keeper.

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YES! If he wants to see his child and celebrate their birthday, then absolutely! I always made that option available. Sadly, they weren’t so great at taking advantage of it. This is very old, I used to have it hung in my office, where I worked for lawyers for children. It’s the words of a judge to divorcing parents (appeared in Ann Landers): ""Your children have come into this world because of the two of you. Perhaps you two made lousy choices as to whom you decided to be the other parent. If so, that is your problem and your fault.

"No matter what you think of the other party, or what your family thinks of the other party, these children are one half of each of you.

"Remember that, because every time you tell your child what an ‘idiot’ his father is, or what a ‘fool’ his mother is, or how bad the absent parent is, or what terrible things that person has done, you are telling the child that half of him is bad.

"That is an unforgivable thing to do to a child.

“I sincerely hope that you do not do that to your children. Think more about your children and less about yourselves. And make yours a selfless kind of love, not foolish or selfish, or your children will suffer.”

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If your current bf can’t get along with the father of your child then your new bf needs to go. He needs to respect the fact that that man is your kids father and deserves to be in his kids life regardless of the things he did to you. If he’s a good dad he deserves to be there. The new BF doesn’t.

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Put your child first always!!! It’s so good for a child to see their parents getting along. They boyfriend sounds a little insecure. Sit down and talk to him. It’s the best way for the child and that’s what everyone needs to keep in mind. I’m not saying it’s easy, buy I’d do just about anything for my kids. You are and always will be family, the divorce will never change that.

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If he is involved in your child’s life then yes but if it’s a involved when he wants then maybe depending on ur situation with him if it’s a great child father relationship ur bf needs to learn that it isn’t for your benefit it’s for ur child and if he can’t understand then maybe ur bf needs to find someone else cuz it will most likely get worse

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Your going to be connected forever due to your child. You and your ex are the parents and this should be a celebration not drama. Invite him to celebrate this special day. He deserves to be included. As for the boyfriend, tell him he has a choice put on his big boy pants and be an adult or make other plans for the day. Your child should come first .

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Absolutely! My ex husband (father of my daughter) has lived with us for nearly 5 years now
 Along with my husband. If your boyfriend can’t accept your babys father
 Just means he has trust issues. My daughter’s father is just that
 HER father. He’s not in my life to be with me. He’s in my life to be with her.

I have invited mine he never showed but atleast i tried! But we did agree to do something together just me my fiance his girlfriend and him and our kids! But its his kid if he can be there do it! Not for you or him but your 3 year old that should see his mommy and daddy getting along even if its just as friends!

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Really depends on maturity and respect that ex will show at party. If he could make a scene then dont. Ask your bf if it would make him more comfortable if he was tge one that offered the invitation. Respect feelings but in the end put what is best for child first—after carefully weighing your decision!

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Hes your child father. You guys seem to still have a friendly relationship. Invite him
tell your boyfriend he has nothing to be worried about. It’s good for your child to see all of you getting along. In fact, if your ex is in a new relationship, tell him to bring her along


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I would invite the father, the child should see you can get along. New boyfriend needs to accept that you are going to have to communicate for a very long time.

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if you and your ex can co-parent with no issues then deff keep them involved and coming to parties. The more the child can see his parents getting along the healthier he will be and his relationships will be in the future

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Wait. That is your child’s father always. If he is in her life then he needs to be there. He cheated on you, not her. It is great that you all still communicate. It is all about her. If you new man has a problem with this, you and he need to talk

Sounds like your bf has insecurity issues, which is a red flag. Your ex is your child’s father, a man that you chose to have a child with, a man that you will have to deal with until your child is an adult and even after because he will always be your child’s father no matter how old your child is! You stated you’re friends with your ex, and obviously he hasn’t started any problems for you and your current bf or you would have said, so there should be no problem of why you can’t invite him! Your child deserves to have both his parents at his birthday, showing him that y’all can be civil and mature adults and most importantly that you both love him and are there to celebrate him!!! I bet if you ask your son, if he wants his daddy there he will!

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He shouldn’t have an issue with it. I was in the same situation. My ex and his now wife and kids come to all of our sons bday. My fiance and my ex work together to be there for our son.

I also have a boyfriend like that but i let him know this is my baby father he aint going no where and my children deserve a drama free life and yes my ex comes to our daughter’s birthday and my boyfriend and its 7 years now and all good

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Honor your significant other. If the baby’s Dad hasn’t been in the picture, and your current significant other isn’t ok w how you want to progress w the bd, honor that until they’re ready.

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if you give in to the newby
you have basically asked him to control yours and your childs life and shut out real dad
he only played around on you
it is very tough but the fact that you still remained friends with the ex means you totally got why he betrayed you
seems you might need to stay single until you understand what makes you really tick
becahse it never anyone else but yourself who can do that


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I say yes, the ex is the child’s father and you need to show your child that you can get along. Any new boyfriend shouldn’t be afraid of that and has to realize that you will be tied to the ex for the rest of your life since you share a child

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Tell your new friend that you are inviting the ex because of the child. If he doesn’t understand then he will be an unhappy man. You might look for someone else that is more compatible with you.

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Yes, why would you consider not inviting your child’s father ?? The party is for the child, not you, your new boyfriend, or the child’s father!!!

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He’s always going to be there for birthdays graduations weddings etc. get used to it. Make it work.

I would invite the ex. You don’t have to be overly friendly. Any pics take. If you and the ex should include the kid and the new bf and his new gf if he has one.

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The hell with new boyfriend that is you child father and he has the right to be their and it is for your son not your BF and if he has a issue with he can stay home he has no blood with the child put child first bf last

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