She’s living with you instead of her husband, so I’m assuming she’s in the process of getting divorced. If that’s the case, what’s the harm in her seeing someone else? If you don’t want her living with you, help her find her own place. If your husband likes fussing about your kids, and you think that’s ok, I don’t think you get to judge her choice of men. Js.
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Pick your battles.
She’s an adult and technically can do what she wants with her personal life. Married or not. She’s separated/divorcing for a reason. Divorces can take months and months. Would u go that long without wanting to try to be happy again, wanting to have intimacy with her boyfriend, I’m kinda blown away from this post… if she’s been there 2 weeks and 2 weeks following “ur house rules” why would kicking her out even be a thought JUST because she has a boyfriend and still legally married, but separated?!
One thing I can for sure say is… My 5 kids over ANY body!
Their little lives were created inside of me! They heard my heartbeat as I heard all of theirs.
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My son has moved out got a lovely partner and a beautiful baby. But if they had to fall on hard times my door would always be open for them. They are my world and I would do anything for them. If you keep interfering she will leave and you will never see her or your grandchildren if there is any again. Sorry but that would break my heart.
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Ma’am she’s 23 she can do what she wants 
you sound toxic wanting to kick your daughter out because you can’t control her
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Your daughter is a grown woman and it is none of your business. That’s the only reason? She isn’t causing trouble? She should be working toward getting her own place but stay out of her personal affairs and do not critize her life like she is a kid. Don’t be that person. She doesn’t have to live her life according to you. It is her life.
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First off she’s a tenant now. So her personal life isn’t for you to add as an addendum to her “lease”. Whether her marriage is over is her and her spouses decision and you have no place in it. She can do what she wants as long as follows the previously agreed upon renting rules. But sure kick her out and watch as her life continues on and she has nothing to do with you. And you’ll be showing all of your kids that your love is conditional based on their life choices.
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Well she is an adult and if she wants to date, you can’t really stop her.
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Whether she continues to live under your roof is your choice, who she sees romantically IS NOT! be supportive and mind yo bidness
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Communicate communicate communicate
You can raise your children right and at the end of the day, they’re still gonna do what they wanna do. I wouldn’t kick her out simply because I didn’t like her choice in men, he’d just not be allowed in my house. As they seem to keep reminding you, she’s a grown woman. So set rules and she’s grown enough to follow them or not. You still have 2 more young children to raise, so if she’s setting bad examples for them or you don’t want them around that mess, sit her down and have a talk about it. She can either act like an adult and get her shit together or get out. It sounds like there’s a lot more to the story. And yes you should have a talk with your husband as well.
Are u her Real Mother cause u dont sound like one feels like u picked her from the street
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Damn lots of ugly comments! When you see your daughter going down a rough path that’s making things harder for herself her children and even your own house and marriage. I would be upset as well. I agree that the marriage should be fully ended before she hops into another situation. I’m not sure why so many people are disagreeing on this post with that. She needs that time for self love and working on herself and what she truly wants out of life and a partner. Just because she is your daughter doesn’t mean she gets a free pass to go out and live hot girl summer. It sounds like some serious sit downs are in order. Hang in there Momma! That sounds very stressful. I hope all works out the way it should.
Yesss! Make your child live on the streets homeless! It’s perfectly safe!
I hate mother’s who choose men over their kids no matter the age.
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Are you asking for advice or a cult following? Seems the simple answer here is obvious and unanimous so she will be staying. Or you were seeking validation and will only be paying attention to select comments. Hopefully it was the first one.
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Sit them both down, set some rules as it’s under your roof, maybe give her a time limit to find somewhere else, if she doesn’t follow the rules then your within your right to tell her to find somewhere else as you gave her a chance, she’s an adult and should take responsibility for her actions, we all had to learn the hard way and our own way, I’m sure there’s ways she can afford to love by herself, if there’s kids involved it’s a different story completely the kids safety come first and therefore I’d tell your husband that she’d have to stay until she can find somewhere. Oh to add as she’s an adult she can have her own choice of partner
I don’t think you should kick your daughter out. You may not agree with her life choices but that’s no reason to side with your husband and choose a man’s opinions or worry about what’s gonna happen with him over your own child. Yes you can tell her you don’t like what she’s doing but the reality is she’s old enough to make her own choice as far as that.
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Well the way you have written this and said if you should kick her out you already made up ur mind ……
Shes ur child till end of time
Does she do drugs
Does she sell her body
She’s dating
Clearly she was not in a happy marriage and chosen her happiness then being stuck with a man !
She those her self then a. Man !
But u in the hand u chosen men over ur child great role model !
She’s ur tendent she pays u rent u can’t tel her when she came come home and who she can see she s a adult ! Some of y’all really cut from a diffrent cloth
My kids nunber 1 I birthed them. Not my husband ! I rather be single then make my kids be homeless bc I’m worried it will
Make problems with my
Huband !
That’s why woman and kids have so much trauma growing up there mom chosen men over their own kids !
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23 and you’re giving her rules. SMH. She’s an adult. Her personal life is just that. Kick her out. When you’re old and your husband is gone….
She can do whatever she wants. She’s a grown woman. However, that doesn’t mean. It’s not without consequence. I don’t think you should throw her out. You’re her mother. Clearly she still needs your guidance and support…
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Tbh don’t because she’s already going through a divorce with two kids. You’re husband needs to understand he’s chose to be in you’re life your daughter didn’t have a choice.
( Can’t choose who your born too) so I’d just say pick you’re battles on this one
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Sound like your husband has the biggest problem with it & you just wanna control some things …. You birthed her so I mean idk about you but my love & care goes way beyond adulthood, they could be 50 & if they still needed momma they better walk thru my front door . My house will alway be open for my children, whether they’ve made choices I don’t agree with those are my babies for life, I gave them life because I wanted them, they didn’t ask me for life.
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You are not the gatekeeper of her vagina…
If she is paying rent and cleaning up after herself you have no room to complain
I wouldn’t care if my husband didn’t like my daughter living in the house I’d tell my husband to leave my children will always come first to me. If she is single but still married she can date whoever she likes you should be more supportive I think and give her a chance x
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At 23 years old, and paying rent, you and your husband need to realize that she is a contributing adult in the household. Rules that you set should only relate to respect towards others who live in the home, (not coming in late and being super loud, taking care of your messes and your share of the chores etc) not police her morals like she was still a teenager. She may still be married legally, but it appears that the relationship itself is over. If she wants to date and make her own mistakes, they are HER mistakes. She’ll learn from them, or she won’t, but they’re still her mistakes.
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Your house your rules…
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This is hard and painful , child outside marriage always brings a problem in the house , before you lose your husband talk to your daughter to have her own place , peace between you and your husband and her.
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Tough love mama I went to live with mt parents thru a divorce but I was respectful
This is coming from someone that was involved in a divorce and got with someone in the midst of it at a young age (around 20- honestly could have been younger bc I block that s**t out). It’s important to take time to figure out who you are without dating someone, what you want in life, and the things that make you happy.
I suggest talking things out without any accusations. Don’t invade any safe spaces and let communication remain open.
It could be time for her to find her own place if she doesn’t agree but there needs to be compromises and understanding that times and people change. I wouldn’t hold what she did as a teenager against her if she has shown change.
It is understandable to not allow her new guy in the house.
I agree with the previous comment that the children’s safety is more important.
Best of luck and try to take a step back and see it from other people’s view (including you daughter’s)
Bro, she’s a grown ass adult she doesn’t need you to make her life choices for her. If her marriage is over why can’t she date? You’re controlling asf.
You tell your kid not to do something and they gunna do it more. She’s 23 not a teenager, her marriage is her problem not your husband’s. Support her she’s obviously going through some shit. To the person above whom stated “child outside marriage always brings problems in the house” daughter was there before husband and will still be there if their marriage breaks 
folk always throwing kids away for a man. Sit down and talk to your daughter as an adult she’s being treated like a teen by the sounds of it.
So because she doesn’t follow your “rule” of whom she dates and when she dates them, you’re going to kick her out? And the fact that your holding behaviour against her from when she was a teenager is absolutely disgusting🤢 Ummmmm that is SO messed up. last time I checked, she is an ADULT and is able to make her OWN decisions when it comes to relationships, her body and what she does with her time. I think you are way out of line and honestly you seem quite hateful in your post. Like you don’t want her there and are just looking for a reason to get her out
That is your child regardless of age and you should be there to support her. My kids are number one at ALL times no matter their age! That’s literally your job as a parent, to teach guide and help them be productive healthy happy citizens of the world.
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She is grown, you can’t make rules for her now or tell her who she can date. I’m assuming the two small children you mentioned are yours and not hers so if she isn’t going out and leaving her children with you, let her be the adult she is. I would never pick anyone over my children even if he is the biological father. My children are my children from conception to death.
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She can do whatever she wants outside of your house. You can try to control her and say you’ll kick her out if you disagree, that’s your choice. But you’re also being too controlling and dont be surprised when your relationship with her declines. Kick her out if she isn’t holding a job or if she’s being a bad influence to your kids in the house, things like that. Stop telling that woman what she cqn and can’t do outside of the walls of your house.
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If you don’t like who she is dating, then asking her to not bring him to your home would be reasonable. But as an adult, she’s allowed to have a personal life. If your finances allow, maybe you could take some of the money she contributes and set it aside until there’s enough for her to start out in her own place.
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Also if she is paying rent, I’m not sure you get to tell her what she cqn do or with whom inside of the room she is renting anyways 
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No rude commons It’s hard picking a husband over your own daughter. Hope things work out.
OP, not even Nationwide is on your side.
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OP is getting dragged harder than Joe Exotic in a tiger cage
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Are the young kids hers? Does she just dump them on Mom and Dad so she can go out and have fun? Or are they Mom and Dad’s kids? So is she working? Where is her money coming from? Does she expect Mom and Dad to support her and her kids - too many questions unanswered. It isn’t just that she is renting a room from them - - sounds like she is taking advantage of Mom and Dad. Help her get an apartment - then she can do as she pleases - - -.
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Adult children are hard to rear - finding their way in their own with tough love and letting them suffer the consequences of their actions is the best teacher. It’s hard, but needed, bittersweet.
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Get her and your family to a good church in your area. You might lead her and yourselves to an eternity in Heaven!
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I’m sorry but YOUR daughter is for life…shes 23…did you never make any mistakes?. I dont care if my kid needs a place.to live come home…men are a dime a dozen…kids are for life
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She’s an adult. Stay out of it.
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Guess what?!! Your still a parent when your kids turn 18!! My oldest will be 29 this year & believe me, there’s nothing I wouldn’t do to help her if she needed it. Family is everything (IMO) if your so willing to kick her out instead of helping her move forward because your current husband/newer kids are more important, then she’s probably better off on her own/without you.
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I’d be kicking the husband out. No one comes between my children and me.
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Like my mom always said “you can always get a new husband… you can never get a new daughter” be there for your daughter
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This is the most selfish thing I ever read. She’s 23. get some help and grow up
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She can do whatever she wants and it’s still your home. Whatever she does outside of the home is her business as long as she isn’t bring it back home. Once, she breaks those rules, assuming the two children are your husbands. She is then putting them in danger by bringing in random men. Her courtesy stay is out the window. She can go to a woman’s shelter. You already raised her and if she cannot take advice or have the patience to respect your rules. There isn’t much you can do but let her learn hard lessons.
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You ask for no rude comments, but with that post it sounds pretty controlling. You cant control what your daughter does weather she lives in your home or not. To use what she did 10 plus yrs ago is ridiculous shes not a teenager anymore. You need to cut the cord and let her live her life, help her to save money and get her out asap. Dont over control her life or you will alienate your relationship with her if you haven’t already. Build her up right now not put her down and cause more emotional damage.
You’re her MOTHER! Shame on you for posting this! She needs you now more than anyone! I’m assuming your husband is not her father or this would not be an issue!!!
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Let her date who she wants. As long as she pays you rent and the children are cared for (not always by YOU), there should not be a problem. If you and your husband have already given her rules, she shouldn’t break them. Don’t change the rules to fit your own feelings about things.
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So you want to kick her out because she’s still legally married ? Wow is all I got to say
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I’m so glad you’re not my mother 
your poor daughter
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You sound like terrible parents. A parents job is to rehabilitate their children in their times of trouble show them ways that are positive and turn them in the directions they should go. Why have kids if you’re going to treat them like they are a burden to you?
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She was your daughter before he was your husband
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If the only issue is that she’s seeing another guy then it’s not fair that you kick her out. She and her husband are separated and she’s lonely…I get it. Stop minding her personal business. It’s like your reaching hard for a reason for her to have to go. Why?
If she’s abiding by the “house” rules then why put her out?
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If I was your child… the moment you kicked me out would be the moment you no longer had me or my children in your life. Period. It is none of your concern who I date, or screw when I am getting a divorce. And a mom is a mom for a reason. To mother her, to support her, to help her, to encourage her to be strong, not knock her even further down when she is already going through probably the worst time in her life. This coming from a mother at 16, 18, 19, and 22. A mom whose own mom has picked her up when she failed to reach the expectations the life set for her. I raised those four kids to know That Momma will always be here to come home to if needed. Divorce, fire, injury, death, I dont care. Your job as a mother is to be there and be supportive, not to think you know whats best. You are supposed to be the pillow when she falls, not another bump on the way down. Ugh…
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What kind mother are you? To even and ask a question like this? You sure are no grand mother lol You’d pick your husband over your DAUGHTER AND TWO YOUNG CHILDREN. Right there something is mentally wrong with you. That’s so so sad to even come and ask such a question when it’s your own family that needs help.She’s your daughter and they are your grandchildren that your helping out. I think you need to get rid of your husband for EVEN putting such hatred in you. And please go seek some therapy
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Firstly she is a adult so instead of trying to treat her like a teenager try treating her like a grown up! Be a mum who talks with her not at her, if you kick her out you’ll lose her completely she needs you now more than ever so be there for her!
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Well first thing is she is grown so she can do what ever she would like. You can only offer her advice as far as anything goes. But she is your child and always will be and you should be there to help for during a hard time. But I also understand if she isnt doing what she needs to to get back on her own feet.
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This is a joke right? She’s your daughter & as long as she is doing her business outside of the house & paying rent like you asked you & your husband should mind your business. I would be more concerned as of why he doesn’t want her there? What’s his true issue. Sweep around your own front door before sweeping someone’s else
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Tell her to pull her own weight in the house. If she is seeing a married man, she could tear another family apart.
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I bet you allowed him to cause problems with her when she was a teenager. You can’t even see it and you are doing it again.
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You’re a vile person if you think it’s okay to kick your daughter- who is clearly going through a bad time- out.
- You birthed her and by doing so you committed to being her mother for life- not just until you get bired of her.
- Have you tried talking to her about said marriage problems?
- If she is separated from her husband you have no right to tell her who she can and can’t spend time with.
Your daughter should come before your husband. If your daughter causes problems with him he’s trash anyway.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Should I kick my daughter out if I think she will cause problems with my husband and I?
She’s your child at the end of the day, and you should always put that first. Her behaviour may be a cry for help, and at that age to be in the situation she’s in isn’t ideal. In the nicest way possible, whoever she dates and what goes on in her private life isn’t for you to judge or belittle her for just because it’s not what you’d choose for her. Sit down with her, ask if she’s actually okay, listen to her and go from there. Don’t argue, just discuss and listen to her.
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Oh my god…she is your DAUGHTER! Id take my child over my husband any day despite her difficult behaviour. She is young still and will make mistakes, but she will learn from them in her own time
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She’s so young. Have a conversation with her, take her to lunch, talk.
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Your husband and you both need to be talking to her, because her being there is affecting both of you, she’s grown and can date who she wants, as long as no trouble comes to your home, let her know she can not be there forever, and to make some arrangements for her and the children
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Shes your child and you should put her first regardless
She is 23 and can do whatever she wants as long as trouble doesn’t come to your house.
Stop pleasing your husband all the time,talk to your daughter and spend time with her as much as you can she is probably going through a tough time
This girl needs help she must go and see a psychiatric DOCTER before she does some thing that will affect her small children it must be very hard for parent’s to kick her out of your home
She obviously needs help right now not judgement or to be thrown out. That said she’s in your home. Give her some rules and expectations but do it with love and kindness. Her relationships are her business and it’s likely to be a rebound after her marriage! Give her the space to see this for herself as long as it doesn’t affect your home?
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Personally as long as she pays rent, cleans up and doesn’t bring this other guy round, she can do what she wants with other guys, married or not she’s a grown adult let her make her own decisions with that. But make sure she’s paying rent and living by your rules.
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You want to help her or control her? Seems like you’re just looking for a reason to kick her out. Her personal life is her business.
Absolutely not she’s your daughter no matter what her age when we produce children it’s a life long thing to b there for them clearly she needs support atm as a parent your house should always b open to your children just make sure u set house rules as it’s still your home as for who she’s seeing that isn’t anyone else’s business but hers xxxx
It’s your daughter! Having been on the receiving end of this with a stepmother. You dont do this to your own flesh and blood for a new partner. Its damaging. So no. Teens are unruly dont tidy up and follow rules it’s pretty normal. Cant believe you are considering.
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Take away the label daughter… would you let anyone else behave like that in your house? Would you tell them who they can have sex with? Just because your family it doesn’t mean anyone had the right to treat people how they like
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I’m sorry but coming from someone who was kicked out whilst pregnant at 22, by my own parents it’s absolutely awful that your thinking of doing this to your daughter. I’ve never had a good relationship with my parents and I feel the same about your daughter.
I have a daughter of my own now and NEVER in a million years would I ever consider kicking her out under any circumstance! She should come before your husband and anyone else for that matter because she’s your child.
If you think your husband is more important than your child then you don’t deserve your child. There I said it. You should be supporting her and being someone she can run to when things get bad! I wish I had a home to go back to if I ever needed to. And that’s what I plan to give my daughter. A home she can come back to with her kids if she needs to. Your door should always be open!!
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Honestly if she can afford to give y’all what you are asking and does everything else y’all want, then NO you have absolutely NO SAY in who she decides to spend time with but other than that YOUR HOUSE, YOUR RULES,… My parents are INCREDIBLY GENEROUS and allow my husband, me and my children to stay with them and contribute what we can since my husband lost his good job, but we aren’t doing alot outside of what they want, we help pay bills and are trying to get our own place again asap but they don’t interfere even with stuff they don’t agree with because they know this is temporary and out of our control and we are doing everything we can to help them out as well even though we feel like the burden
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Get your husband to talk to your daughter
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Kick her out as hard as it maybe she needs to learn a lesson
23 yes kick her out no back storie needed other then her husband beat hear she came here
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I would make up a rental agreement… put in there what she can and can’t do in your house. If she doesn’t follow the agreement give her a 30 day notice
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Your house your rules meaning if you want her to pay rent, then thats what she must do, if you want her to do chores then she must do chores, if you want her home by a certain time then thats your rules (but remember she’s 23 and a grown adult and how would you feel about having a curfew?) What she does outside of your house and who she decides to date has nothing to do with you or your husband and you should support her as much as you can. If she’s going through a divorce and wants to make herself feel better by dating a new guy then good on her! We all were teenagers and all acted like it with no cleaning and coming home late but she’s 23 now and personally if you kick her out I think it says more about you as a person that of her because from what you have wrote she hasn’t done anything wrong or anything for you to even be thinking about that.
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No matter what her age is she is your daughter and instead of judging her on what man she getting under to get over the marriage why don’t you give her the support because every one knows what it’s like to brake up with someone you loved everyone deals with things in different ways fuck what your husband says he should be supportive and not going back to the past when she was a teen trust me from experience listening to your husband or worried that it will cause an issue is less greater than losing your daughter
Not cool momma. The reason you are asking is because you already know this is wrong.
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Id choose my little girl ….no matter how old she gets. Instead of judging her pray for her, and talk to her. Maybe the boyfriend is the only place shes finding support and kindness at this time instead of judgement? Try being there for her instead of criticizing it may get you further. And kick your husband out if someone doesn’t like my children there’s the door.
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If you kick her out, the new guy will move her in. What a nightmare then for you and possibly her kids.
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As long as she’s respecting you home and paying as agreed and caring for her kids? You get no say.
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Her husband doesn’t want them there and this “mother” is trying to justify her husband’s actions . And the fact that she’s choosing her man over her flesh and blood. Plus the no rude comments ,that’s laughable!!
No don’t kick her out just tell Dont bring that man to your house
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She’s an adult! She’s 23… yes you can have “rules” cause it’s your home. But it’s more about respecting you and your husband and your home. Not what she is doing in her personal life
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I would choose my kid over anyone or anything at anytime … whether she’s 18 or 48 
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She a grown woman if she don’t follow rules out she goes. No need to mess up what you and your husband got. It’s also teaching her there are rules in life you have to follow or the is repercussions. So I feel if she breaks the rules out. And ahe should be looking for a place to live
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You do not get to dictate whom your adult children date. You do have the right to insist she not bring him to your house. But that’s all you got.
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This mother is stuck between her husband and her child. It is not a good place to be. The answer seems so simple to so many of you. Her child is obviously not making good decisions. Her husband is obviously trying to do one of two things- 1. Just be control freak or 2. Help Mom see where the daughter is doing things incorrectly and try to help her steer her in the right direction. Everyone was raised differently. Maybe her husband was kicked out and he thinks that’s the correct course of action. I’m not saying that’s the correct course of action. A lot of you are really giving this mom a hard time. Very few people here are giving her the benefit of the doubt.
If I had a child that was a teenager which I do, that was sneaking in at different hours of the night and not cleaning up after themselves and it caused problems in my marriage… And that has happened. My husband and I came up with solutions for these problems. Now I’m going to fast forward to my children being adults. If they had to move back in with me there would be strict ground rules to them living with me they would have to follow those rules. I love my children more than anything in this world and they have a place to go as long as I’m breathing. I am not here for them to run over me and use me.
This woman is letting her daughter live with her, with her children, probably for very little money. Her daughter needs to get her life together and make sure that if she is dating someone that her mom doesn’t even know about it. So then it doesn’t have to be Mom and stepdad’s business. Mom and stepdad probably only know about it because Mom and stepdad are probably watching her children. They don’t have to agree with her life choices, but she already knows how they feel about these type of things before she decides to go back and live under their roof.
There is something wrong with our world right now. We are not supposed to run over our parents. And expect them to take care of our kids and pick up our pieces when we decide to ruin our lives. And then tell them that nothing is any of their business. There is a thing called tough love.
I would never want to see her kick her daughter out. I can’t say that I could do that to my children easily. It would have to be a really bad situation.
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Seems you have made your choice. Can’t wait to see the post in a few month on how your child won’t talk to you anymore. Js
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The majority of the comments are completely against you and admonishing you… but… you already know you are wrong bc you end your odd post with “Please, no rude comments”
You and your husband need more help than her… you’ve already done damage to her for years…and just don’t realize it… your mindset did not just come about recently… is this her biological father…or stepdad… you sound so desperate to make sure he is happy… sense a bit of co dependency too… you’re looking more out for you and your relationship with your husband over anything… are the two young children hers or yours … you treat her like some sort of stranger… you’re actually letting us know how many issues you have
She is 23 who she sleeps with and when is none of your business. If her choices cause issues with you and your husband you should look at your own marriage.
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