Should I Let My 13-Year-Old Trick-or-Treat on Her Own? When Did You Let Your Kids?

Motherhood
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QUESTION:

"At what age would you allow your child to go trick-or-treating on their own? My 13-year-old wants to go on her own, but it makes me so nervous.

We live in a nice neighborhood, and she will be with friends, but I still dislike the thought. Should I just let her go? Follow her without her knowing? I wanna give her a chance to hang out with friends, and I trust her. It’s this world I don’t trust. Help?"

RELATED QUESTION: I Don’t Know What to Do About Trick-or-Treating This Year Due to COVID-19: Advice?

TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):

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“Never. If they are old enough to go alone they are too old to trick or treat.”

“My 19-year-old took my 4-year-old last year and I followed far behind them the whole way!! It’s not that I don’t trust my oldest; I trust her with my life! It’s the rest of the world I don’t trust!”

“I always told my kids when you are too old for me to go along, you are too old to go.”

“My face when I read ‘follow her without her knowing…’ Cut the cord mama. You’ve gotta trust her to be safe and responsible on her own sometimes. If she feels she’s ready then she’s ready. You could have her call you every so often just to check in if she has a phone or a friend does. She’ll be okay.”

“There’s a lot of creeps out there rn, so I think at least one adult should go with them and don’t take her word for it that ‘Ashley’s mom is gonna come.’ No, you talk to Ashley’s mom yourself and make sure that she is indeed going to go supervise. Back when I was 13, I did go on my own but times are different.”

“Maybe try giving her ‘check-in times’ so you know she isn’t too far away. At 13 you can’t be to careful. I was never allowed to do anything as a child. Now, since I have 2 (very young right now) I would give them space and make them show me they are trustworthy. Every 30 mins to an hour home to say hi. Then go back out. Still come home by the designated time. And bring friends by to say hi as well! Don’t make it weird. Give them candy as well each time (probably only twice) but at least you will know everyone is safe and cared for.”

“Let that girl go with her friends. You have to let kids live a little. If you shelter them so much they won’t know how to function when they become adults.”

“She will be fine!!! She’s 13!! Keep her phone on, let her have a good time! Definitely old enough & will love the independence.”

“If you’re not comfortable with it don’t allow it. I know it’s hard for a 13-year-old to understand but try to explain to her that it’s not about what she might do but what someone might do to her.”

“I remember going alone when I was 11-12, but that was 15 years ago & the world didn’t seem so bad. Does she have a phone? Turn on the share location & keep track of her that way? Does she have the “noon” app? Pepper spray & a defense flashlight? I would not just trust the nice neighborhood, I would send her with some sort of way to protect herself & maybe show her how to fight & make sure she knows to run if she feels unsafe?”

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READ ALL ANSWERS BELOW:

15 Likes
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Once mine got to junior high I let them go with their friends.

3

The answer is NO! She’s not going by herself. Or alone with any other MINORS The mother is RIGHT about that… Even if you trust your children/teenagers whatever. There ARE mean evil & NASTY predators out there & you NEVER know who could be watching your child or following them. If you care about the SAFETY of your child then it will come before “fun” :speaking_head::speaking_head:anyday!!!:100:. Thats REAL parenting

10 Likes
4

Uh around 13 with freinds tho not by herself

1 Like
5

No way if she wants to go fine but only if you go.

6

I wouldn’t let my daughter go with friends with so many things going on in this world.

7

13 and in a group of friends should be fine that’s when I let my daughters go by themselves just around the neighborhood and they were to check in though

8

13 should be ok esp w friends. I let my kids play in our neighborhood. Cant baby them or they wont know what to do in the real world. And predators are usually family or close friends so the risk of a stranger doing something is slim.

9

It’s a tricky one, pardon the pun, but you have to go on your own instincts… you know you’re daughter better than anyone. It’s tough to let go and it’s a very difficult situation to be in as a parent and only you can make that decision. I personally wouldn’t just yet as said above, there are a lot of weirdos around and we have to protect our children at all costs.

10

you’ve obviously having a bad feeling about letting her go that evening so trust your gut and maternal instincts and dont let her go alone

1 Like
11

My mom let me go with friends when I was 13. We were in a good neighborhood. She had all my friends cell phone numbers and they had hers in case of emergency.
If you’re worried, maybe just trail behind her a little bit. Be with her, but from a little distance. That way she can “be on her own” with her friends but you’re also at easy because you can still keep an eye on her.

12

I trust my kids but I don’t trust strangers. It only takes once and your life can be changed forever. Ill always be a helicopter mom. Sorry, not sorry :slightly_smiling_face:

13

I personally will not allow my kids to wander off alone. Especially with how bad this world has been lately. I couldn’t live with the fact that if something happened I would be at fault for letting them go.

14

I think if you don’t let her she won’t be happy about it, if she has a phone I would offer to track it while she is out and only around the block or give her a curfew to be home. Obviously you would feel better if you where are with her but she wants to feel trusted by you to go on her own. :woman_shrugging:t4: that’s my view on it. Or if you have smaller children go a little behind her and her group a few houses down so you can keep an eye on her without hovering

15

Things are different from when we were all kids. Human trafficking is at an all time high and these predators aren’t being picky over who they snatch. So no. I wouldn’t risk it. A parent or 2 should chaperone the group that wants to go.

2 Likes
16

Mine was 12 , he went with friends . I gave him a time to come back . And he did . He does not have a phone .

17

Alone? Never. A group of 13 year olds. Yes.

18

I didn’t. Up until they were 16 and stopped on their own. They didn’t complain, at least not to me. It’s not them I didn’t trust. It was the people where we went.

1 Like
19

With her friends I would say yes and put down a few common sense rules as well as a time to b home. By common sense rules i mean like y’all stay together and dont go off alone kind of thing

1 Like
20

13 lol go buy her candy she to old to be going

3 Likes
21

Now days I wouldn’t let my kid go anywhere by themselves.

22

Never until about 16 years of age with friends

23

In a good neighborhood, with friends, a curfew, and a cellphone. Yes, kids need to feel a bit of freedom, as long as it’s safe.

3 Likes
24

At 12 I let mine go with friends, a phone, an idea of where, and a time to be home. We were in a pretty secure neighborhood then.

1 Like
25

Lay out the rules, the area she can go in, NO MATTER WHAT, explain it as an adult would understand, be real with her of your fears. Grown women get yanked into doorways etc and are never found. She has to understand the danger.

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26

If she is with friends and in a good neighborhood and with a phone, I would say it would be good.

27

Fine with a group of friends.

28

And isnt 13 a lil bit old to be trick or treating

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29

Man… I was going out alone way younger than 13.

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30

Even during this whole covid thing you still doing this ? No wonder it’s spreading

1 Like
31

I wouldn’t be letting any child go trick or treating this year :microbe:

2 Likes
32

Don’t risk it it’s too much of a gamble

4 Likes
33

I would follow her😔 we don’t know… With all kidnapping cases we heard, nope… And also this covid-19… Unless she accepts that I’m following her or accompany them

34

Let her go but follow her

2 Likes
35

That’s such a hard one since everyone’s dressed up. I could go with a friend for sure at that age and my mom would give me her phone to carry

36

I remember going alone when I was 11-12, but that was 15 years ago & the world didn’t seem so bad. Does she have a phone? Turn on the share location & keep track of her that way? Does she have the “noon” app? Pepper spray & a defense flashlight?
I would not just trust the nice neighborhood, I would send her with some sort of way to protect herself & maybe show her how to fight & make sure she knows to run if she feels unsafe?

1 Like
37

If she’s with a large group of friends I wouldn’t be too worried. But definitely not all alone.

1 Like
38

These days I wouldn’t let any kids go buy themselves

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39

Noooooo … if you do, follow her from a distance… crazy world out there.

40

Get a Moochies watch and Track her.

41

There’s a lot of creeps out there rn so I think at least one adult should go with them and don’t take her word for it that “Ashley’s mom is gonna come “ no you talk to Ashley’s mom yourself and make sure that she is indeed going to go supervise back when I was 13 I did go on my own but times are different

2 Likes
42

Follow her for your own peace of mind. Let her have her fun but keep an eye on her. This world today is crazy.

43

Your allowed to trick or treat this year? Lol

44

Not for me. Its crazy out there, especially at night and we have to drive them into town anyway. Mine are 11 and 13.

45

At that age she should be able to go by herself.

1 Like
46

My son went with his friends last year and he was 11 years old there was an adult with them so I wasn’t worry

47

Not in this world anymore its so sad

48

I always told my kids when you are to old for me to go along, you are too old to go.

6 Likes
49

I wouldn’t trust it, but because my biggest fear is someone will take my kid and I won’t be able to protect her or find her… As much as I’d want to let her go, I wouldn’t be able to. I would offer to have a get together with all of her friends at my home though. Wanna have a costume party… sure tell me what you need/want and I’ll make it happen. Even with an adult people have become to ballsy on today’s world…

1 Like
50

If you’re not comfortable with it don’t allow it. I know it’s hard for a 13 year old to understand but try to explain to her that it’s not about what she might do but what someone might do to her.

1 Like
51

Don’t let her go alone. Too much going on in this world. Be with your baby.

2 Likes
52

I trust my kids 100% but if my 13 or 16 yr old wanted to go trick or treating id be like what are you really doing?!?! :woman_shrugging:t3:

1 Like
53

Let that girl go with her friends.
You have to let kids live a little. If you shelter them so much they won’t know how to function when they become adults.

4 Likes
54

Nope. Go with your child. Crazy people out there!!!

1 Like
55

I think 13 is a good age as long as she’s mature and with a group of mature peers.

3 Likes
56

I can 100% understand your hesitation. I think at 13 if she’s with a group of friends and has a phone-you should let her go. Set clear boundaries around what is expected (curfew, where she’s allowed to go) and make her understand that this is an exercise of trust…if she breeches that trust, it will be a LONG time before she is given an opportunity of some independence and freedom again. If she follows your rules and proves she can be trusted…then it opens the door for more opportunities for her in the future. Set her phone up with a tracking app. Talk about contingency plans (nearby safe houses etc). Good luck

11 Likes
57

Never. If they are old enough to go alone they are too old to trick or treat

20 Likes
58

Let her go around the neighborhood with a tracking device on her phone

2 Likes
59

let her go she needs you to trust her its hard letting go

4 Likes
60

My 19 year old took my 4 year old last year and I followed far behind them the whole way!! Its not that I don’t trust my oldest, I trust her with my life! Its the rest of the world I don’t trust!

13 Likes
61

I went trick or treating at 13, but I wasn’t alone… I always had to have a friend with me and we had to stay semi close to our houses. Especially if she’s able to contact you

62

Follow her without knowing

63

I never went by myself trick or treating that’s when there are crazies out the worst Halloween night

64

I felt the same about my daughter going out with friends. I didn’t mind her going it’s just the crazy world we in but I was referred to Life 360, I checked it out and I love it!!! It shows the location and how far you are from it. It’s for a piece of mind.

65

I would not let my daughter go by herself that’s me tho

1 Like
66

Dress up as a ghost :ghost: & go lol no one will know :rofl::rofl:

1 Like
67

Give her an hour or so maybe to go w friends and make sure she doesn’t go far. Shes 13 and deserves trust. If she blows it then u know.

68

If she has a phone, check out life 360 app.
My daughter is 10, we have it. Granted it’s very rare for her to ever be alone, but she does like to play outside with friends and go to their homes, and of course if she’s at a friends house I trust their parent to keep an eye on where they go, but shit happens and you never know. She knows to always keep her phone on her. I installed it on her phone and it shows me exactly where she is at all times… i told her what it was for, not because I didn’t trust her, but because I didn’t trust other people. And she knows to always keep her phone on her if she’s not home. It also allows me to see her battery level. That way if it’s running low and we are not together, I can ask her to charge up her phone. It has an SOS button, if she’s in trouble, all she has to do is open the app and hit it, and it will quietly alert me right away of her location. God for bid it’s over something really serious She or I can immediately Alert the authorities and let them know her exact location

69

A group of 5 is good enough, if they are staying in your neighborhood.
Go with her and walk a route, talk about check in checkpoints.
Have a plan for just in case scenarios.

70

13 with friends, however must stay with them entire time. an a phone incase of emergency
Set boundaries an rules.
Or dress up yourself an tag along without them knowing lol.
But todays world is also unsafe so do what you see is best, put a tracker on phone if u give her one itll run in background!

1 Like
71

Maybe try giving her “check in times” so you know she isn’t to far away. At 13 you can’t be to careful. I was never allowed to do anything as a child. Now, since I have 2 (very young right now) I would give them space and make them show me they are trust worthy. Every 30 mins to an hour home to say hi. Then go back out. Still come home by designated time. And bring friends by to say hi as well! Don’t make it weird. Give them candy as well each time (probably only twice) but at least you will know everyone is safe and cared for.

1 Like
72

She will be fine!!! She’s 13!! Keep her phone on, let her have a good time! Definitely old enough & will love the independence.

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73

I was 4 yrs old but it was the 60s

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74

Try Walkie talkies, or theres a great app I use on my phone with my family members life360. It allows you to connect with their location at any time and also will give you updates on her phone as well such as battery life. I believe that building trust is important but this day and age where we have to be extra cautious with our children because of trafficking, kidnapping, etc, I find that having this sort of solid reassurance makes it a little easier to give them the freedom and trust that our young children need to learn and have.

1 Like
75

I say let her go. If she has a phone ask her to check in ever so often.

76

I definitely wouldn’t let her go this world is not safe too much going on in this world :earth_americas: I’d go with your gut if you don’t feel comfortable don’t do it don’t let decisions of others discourage whatever you feel is right your momma you know best me I’m speaking on my own beliefs my daughter is 12 almost 13 no way in hell I’ll let her go because of this world :earth_americas: it’s barely safe kids being with there parents let alone being alone

77

Never. Too many disgusting people out there.

78

I think I was 13 at the time. My parents stayed in the car behind us a few houses so we could go to multiple streets while still being safe.

79

It’s not really a different world. Thing’s are just more talked about these day’s then it was back then. It’s more open and warned about these day’s then it was back then. I am 34 and everyone ones says back in my day we didn’t have to worry we was safe there wasn’t creeps back then. Well seeing as I am a victim of sexual assault from when I was younger I can tell you it wasn’t any safer then either… with that being said make sure she is with a group of friends. Give her pepper spray or something to defend herself with. And make sure there is a parent or you following just in case.

1 Like
80

Does she have an iPhone maybe you could do find my iPhone and share location so you know she’s safe and where she is my girls are 6 and 3 and I’m dreading what the world is going to be like when they are that age but I’d be very hesitant at them going out

81

Not at any age in this day and age!

82

Noo Follow them. no way would any of mine be going by themselves in this world.

83

By the time mine were old enough to go on their own I was driving them around. We live on a hill and the closest streets to us are also hills, plus I used to take them to our old neighborhood so it just made sense.

84

My son started going with his friends without me in our neighborhood two years ago, when he was 12. There was a group of them and our neighborhood is a hotspot for it, so there were many, many kids & parents and we felt comfortable with it. Plus my son had a cell phone with him with location service so I knew where he was all the time, too.

2 Likes
85

There are so many factors involved. My kids went out with friends at 12, but we lived in a very safe town and everyone knew each other. The police and fire department were out and I felt very comfortable. I passed out candy sitting with neighbors and every other person that came by told me where they had just seen my kids. Different setting and I’m not sure I would have allowed it at that age.

3 Likes
86

In youre neighborhood at 13 with kids you know are good kids and arent going to try to pressure her into doing anything she isnt comfortable why not? Put a tracking app on her phome and the phone needs to be on. You need to show you can give her an inch now otherwise in the next year or two she’ll take that mile behind your back. Been there gone through that. Or she will be 20 years old still living at home and too scared to leave and unable to manage.

87

My 12 and 14 year olds went by themselves last year. My grandma lives in one of those family friendly neighborhoods where Halloween is a community event. There are parents and kids out in force. They were not allowed to leave the subdivision. But I allowed them the space to hang out with their friends. They have cellphones and we have family link so I can track their phones. I went out with a group of friends at the age of 11. But that was the 90s. Different era.

2 Likes
88

Hard to say as mine never did. We live in a rural area & would get with a group & had a truck with a trailer like a hay ride. The parents would go & the big kids went door to door with the younger ones. Fun for all ages - we would visit with other parents along the way

89

Such a hard decision! I would say more around the age of 15. If your gut says no then don’t allow her to go at this age.

8 Likes
90

I was 14 and it had to be a group of 5 or more they all had to come to my house in order for me to go lol I had a curfew and was to check in every 30 minutes.

91

I was allowed around on my own at 11 or 12. My cousin and I (we are the same age) had to stay together and the parents walked with our younger siblings.

92

I didn’t go trick or treating alone until I was 15 lol and I don’t plan on letting my kid either.

93

I was 11 but there was a group of at least 10 of us! We all went back on one house and called our parents to get us from there, so no one walked alone.

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94

My oldest is only 10. I wouldn’t be comfortable with him going alone at 13, at least not in my area.

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95

My mom would park at the end of each street and I would have to acknowledge her before we could move on.

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96

11 with friends around our neighborhood I also have life 360 on my sons phone so I could see where he was.

97

I was definitely trick or treating with friends alone at 13. Make sure they have phone and have to check up

98

In groups of TRUSTED kids ages 12-14 with no less than 4 kids who you KNOW will stick together & have a tracted cell phone in a neighborhood you know very well…I’d say, yes.

1 Like
99

I don’t recall our son ever going alone. Our daughter is 13 and I wouldn’t consider letting her go alone. There is way too much danger for a young girl, even with friends, for something to happen. I’ll admit, I’m over-protective since my hubby use to be a crimes against children detective, but I think a parent needs to be around. Let them go in a gaggle of girls, but hang back and let them know you have their back.

6 Likes
100

My son started going with his friends in 6th grade. He was just shy of 12.