Ok so “interests” on tinder ?? Yeah ok, what kind of interests? Lol definitely sexual interests. Experiencing this when u 1st decide to get married isn’t normal. This should’ve happened before y’all became a relationship. This kind of business u do when you’re single but it seems to me he thinks he’s allowed to do this because you might’ve let some things go before?? Men treat you by what you’re ok with and id definitely make it known u ain’t ok with this by punching his balls lol He’s texting another woman & was caught. He’s a cheater. If he isn’t fully committed to your relationship, dump him. Why pay for a divorce later? Who the hell allows their man talk to other women about his interests? Not me or he’ll be bleeding somewhere. I wouldn’t bother messaging her unless u wanted to ask some questions about her which is a no. The problem here is him.
I’m sorry….but He’s lying! The only reason you go on tinder is for hooking up not “talking” he wants to talk to someone go talk to your buddies or family. Make a guy friend you don’t talk to other women. He wants to mess around before he settles down it’s obvious. There’s no point in messaging her because if he’s on tinder then to everyone else he’s fair games especially if he have his phone number out. I’d let her know he’s engaged and leave it at that. Some women will open up to you.:: let you know he’s a snake and telling her he’s single and wants to meet up so yeah fish for info. Don’t get engaged it’s obvious he’s not ready to give the single life up.
He still wants to get engaged ? No you don’t message her you leave his ass what the hell
I’m speechless I would literally say. This is what it requires to be apart of my life. An to marry me is … blank… if you can not provide that for me by whatever date. Than we are just waisting time on me marrying mr right. If this is what you need I completely understand enjoy. However what I need is something totally different so I will find that. Goodbye
So you’re engaged?
…Or about to be engaged:woman_facepalming:sorry I’m not following 
This red flag is as subtle as a brick to the face. If hes so worried about the communication between the two of you he should be trying to improve it between the two of you, not talking to randoms on a hookup app. Run don’t walk away from this guy.
Is this fake? I mean like… Wth did i just read? Are you special??? LEAVE HIM GIRL!! why on gods green earth would you even be asking this? Know your worth and tell him to kick rocks… just because he aint been with her physically dont mean he isnt cheating. He is cheating emotionally!
Ummmm, the woman he is communicating with has done nothing wrong.
Your “fiancé” is totally at fault here.
Why are you worried about her? Just get rid of your man.
He is gaslighting you. My ex husband said he wanted companionship while we were married that’s why he was entertaining others. Honey he wants your permission to cheat make your own account where you say your just looking for emotional support and then tell him about it and make sure you also write a long bio about not being understood. Just watch him change his tune🤣 you deserve better don’t get married just to end up stuck and miserable… Good luck honey.
He’s on a dating site & you’re worried about HIM getting angry?! Leave him! You’re not even married yet & he’s doing this ? Red flags, this is an obvious sign that you probably shouldn’t spend the rest of your life with him or else have to deal with cheating and turmoil.
Oh my lawdy you seriously dont believe him to you? she made the tinder profile she’s on it for a reason don’t be chasing her. Your so called partner is in a relationship with you and went made this profile 
I’d be cutting ties with him sorry 
Leave him! He’s not trustworthy!
Maybe try reading what you’ve written down again - as someone else has written it. Would you honestly comment under the post and say yeah go message the person. No - because most people would have told the bloke to get lost. I mean - come on 
Nah run away now that’s not ok
You throw him in the garbage. It’s disrespectful. Nobody in their right mind talks about getting engaged and then tells you you’re lacking in an area in the relationship so they MUST fulfill it through creating an account on and messaging someone through A DATING APP. You can’t really think that’s the fault or problem of the random girl hes talking to? This isn’t a healthy relationship and if he’s playing you like this now it’s only going to lead to a much shadier marriage once there’s legalities involved
this red flag is more like a brick to the face… messaging her isn’t going to stop anything, he’s just gonna go on to the next one. PLEASE KNOW YOUR WORTH!
Have some self respect and dignity and leave him. I hope this post isn’t serious because ots all fucked up.
Tinder? Like, he can go to a library or even here on fb and make new friends to talk to about his interests.
This cannot be genuine
Are you kidding me. This is absolutely not acceptable. Why can’t he talk to one of his guy friends.
Shouldn’t he be trying to talk to you ! and sorting things out if this woman is showing him attention he won’t be cutting ties with her doesn’t he have male mates why advertise on tinder ?? red flags there girl he could have talked to a male friend he obviously enjoying the attention from this woman tell him to stop this or kick him to the curb he is cheating on you by confiding in this other woman has he shown you the messages ???time you moved on it maybe hard but better sooner than later good luck
Everybody knows Tinder is a hook up site. If he really wants to talk to people and make new friends why doesn’t he go and join one of those ‘Mens Shed’ community groups?
He’s disrespecting you. The girl isn’t the problem, your man is. I’m sorry a taken man doesn’t go on a date site. You talk to friends not strangers and why does it have to be a female plenty of sites to make friends. Your man is playing you like a fool. Get out don’t marry a man like that he’ll think he can do as he pleases as he basically is now and you’re allowing it and blaming the other person.
He’s on tinder? Walk away!!
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Call off the engagement instead. Don’t even waste your time messaging her.
Why would you wanna msg someone else becoz of your boyfriend. You and him are getting engaged, you’re not getting engaged to the person he’s talking to. The problem is your boyfriend.
While having friendships with other women isn’t inherently a problem, my partner has female friends, although most are in relationships with his male friends. If he doesn’t simply want 100% male friends, that’s fine too. However where he has gone to find ‘someone to talk to’ is concerning. He could join a sporting team, take up a hobby, or even go on bumble-BFF at a stretch, to form organic friendships, but he’s specifically chosen a dating/hook up site. Whether you trust him to physically cheat or not isn’t necessarily relevant, he is straying away from your relationship for intimacy, even if it isn’t physical. Also in a setting like tinder, it is assumed people are single, so the other party cannot be expected to maintain boundaries they normally would with someone in a relationship, or even check if they are (like they might if they met organically), which puts 100% of the onus on him to set and maintain boundaries, which it doesn’t sound as though he is likely doing. If he wants more social connection with others, that can be fine, but he’s gone about it in an extremely dodgy way. I wouldn’t be continuing this relationship without some serious introspection and heavy discussions with him about values. But that’s just my opinion
There are professionals for that ! You go and talk your feelings out with friends even . He is not the one …. Move on! He is snowing you !
She doesn’t owe you loyalty. He does. She’s just doing what people on tinder do. It’s kinda what it’s for. Same as your soon to be hubby is doing. Your problem lies with him. Now is the time to figure out if you’re willing to share him and if not… walk away… because that’s what your marriage is gonna consist of.
You need to get rid of him is what you need to do
I’d leave him. He’s emotionally cheating. There’s ways to find someone to talk about interests and it isn’t tinder. Tinders a way to hook up and meet people for relationships. The women is clearly not on the same page
Are you engaged or not? Clear up this fantasy land and come to your senses.
Wow get rid!! He is obviously wanting his cake and he wants to eat it all!! If he truly loved you he wouldn’t be on tinder? He also would be telling other girls he’s engaged !! X
Honey if he has a tinder he is cheating !
The problem is your boyfriend not the other person
You don’t go on tinder to find a friend. We all know what tinder is. He could talk to a Professional or therapist. Sounds to me like your man is truly committed to you. I don’t blame the woman blame him. Don’t be engaged to the guy and don’t get married to him he’s completely lying to you
You don’t go on tinder to “find a friend” it’s not the person who’s messaging hims fault it’s his he shouldn’t be on it if talking about getting engaged he should be wanting to work on any problems with you if you are both going to be together forever
I’d leave… but I would let her know so she doesn’t waste her time too. Don’t be hateful. She is probably a good person who has dealt with it at some point. He has to go. She could be warned. If you cannot control yourself then don’t bother messaging her. She isn’t the problem
tinder isnt for friendship site
Leave her alone and dump that lying ass of a man
Message her to let her know he had a girlfriend, but be nice, she likely has no idea, then run.
You’re his friend . If he can’t talk to you there’s a problem . Why is he seeking someone on tinder of all places? Seek out someone you can both go to talk to like a a professional if need be . You have to decide if this is what you want before committing to him . Good luck
Babe, you don’t need tinder to talk to someone 
I’d be putting that man in the bin tbh. Tinder is a dating app, more in particular for hookups. He’s cheating on you right infront of your face and you still want to marry this man?
You need to get rid of him. Never mind messaging the girl on tinder she doesn’t know about you.
This is just BS- he is a liar- move on now
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When a woman messaged my fiancé and asked him how he was. I messaged her off his Facebook Messenger and said the following “I’m great thanks, just got engaged and have a baby on the way”.
Last time the skank was heard of.
You need to confront them both , put them both in their place and be done. Been there done that , I called the Girls husband now they’re both out the door
This dude ain’t it, sis. The other girl isn’t the problem, your guy is. Don’t be naive, you’re blaming the other person who probably doesn’t even know about you and who’s fault is that? Your boyfriends. Taken men don’t seek “friendships” on dating apps.
Get better communication it’s the key to a long lasting marriage
You’re really going to believe he joined a dating site just to talk to someone? Come on girl… He’s probably thinking he hit the Jack pot with someone so gullible and he can cheat right in your face
Lol… you need to have the conversation with your fiance about him being on tinder to talk to women about common interests… usually interests that youd have with …oh i dont know?? Their friends?
Sorry to break it to you giiiirl, but she aint the problem. He is.
Welcome to your future garden of red flags if you marry him
Is tinder for friendships!! I always thort is was for friends with benefits 
not to sure but had a look at a few friends tinder accounts had a few laughs on how it works. Never actually seen friendship come out of it more of a physical friendship 
be worried ladie cause this sounds weird
You should not be the one telling that person AND explain why she should stop. Your bf should be doing that. Red flags dont mean carnival 
…
Uh no you talk to him about it and if he’s not willing to stop you leave. It will just be another girl another time. If you think going to the woman will help your wrong.
Baha… why would you even get engaged to someone like that he’s just stringing you along having his cake and eating it to. 
You don’t use tinder to find Friends. I’m honestly shocked he is able to manipulate you like this, like I know love is blinding but girllllll
No. The problem is your fiancé not the other people!!
He try in to bang anyone and everyone leave his sorry ass
He is using you as a doormat, honey. Leave him. He sounds like he isn’t ready for commitment. You’ll unfortunately wake up one day and he will just end up leaving you. Saying he has more in common with this other woman and he would like to explore their relationship more. Don’t let yourself be the back up. Don’t be a door mat. Tell him the relationship isn’t working. That you have doubts and insecurities. That maybe it’s better for you to figure out these on your own.
Oh my god and you still want to get engaged to him?!?! Why?? You dont need to check her you need to check him. If he “needs” to talk to someone, go to therapy, not Tinder, Tinder is for, well we know, but you want to believe he went there for help, ok you special special
If he wanted to look for friendships, there’s the local bar and activity clubs for adults, like hiking, camping, etc. Tinder is a dating side. It seems like he wants to eat a cake and have two. It sounds very surreal to have a friendship with someone that he met in a dating side. If the communication is not there, you shouldn’t get married. You should have a stable and open relationship before that.
Why would you message that person? Why is your partner on tinder in the first place? Makes no sense to attack someone who is clearly being led on by your man. Now you want to confront them and say what? Stop messaging my man? Mean time it’s your partner leading them on
Nope,that’s his decision 
What exactly are his interests that he cannot talk to you about? I reckon he has different sexual needs than you as he is on Tinder. This is a classic move by someone who is a love rat. If you let this go, you are leaving yourself open to a lifetime of him cheating. Don’t listen to any cr*p he spews from his mouth about he will change, it isn’t going to happen. He’s just not into you enough to stay in a ‘relationship’ with you. Run as fast as you can and choose a MAN who is a ‘relationships’ person.
You shouldn’t message her when he made the account. She’s probably on the account for the right reason while your “soon to be fiance” is not. She got dragged into your drama so no reason to message her anything. He shouldn’t have the account. You have to make the decision on whether you want to stay in a messy relationship. If your “man” is wanting to be with you then tinder would be the farthest from his mind.
Be angry with him. He probably isn’t the ONE to marry.
Runnnnn while you can. The other person is not the issue it’s him
Why message the other person? Their not the problem. This may sound harsh but honey your the problem (said with care) if you have no boundaries on what you want and how you want to be treated in a relationship. It’s no point expecting him to know what’s acceptable when u don’t communicate.
My x used to tell me he had to call 900 numbers to talk about our realionship. The sad reality is if he didn’t cheat its because noone wanted him.
Why message her? She has no loyalty to you, he does. It’ll just make you look stupid, he’s at fault here…not her… Talk to him and honestly I would not get engaged. He BSing you it’s ime to move on…
If a man is on Tinder he doesn’t need to be engaged period. Grow a back bone where your wish bone is and put your foot down or they’ll be doing more than messaging
Firstly, you don’t go on Tinder to make friends. It’s a dating app…he could just choose to talk to someone he knows 
Second, you should definitely talk to him about the problems instead of the girl because like everyone else is saying, she’s not the problem. It would your “boyfriend” who decided to talk to her. Honestly, it does sound like you should leave him…he’s manipulating you to be okay with a situation you shouldn’t be. Regardless of the problems…you should talk to each other about it. Not a random girl or guy on a dating app.
Why did he have to go on a dating site to talk to someone about his interests? Isn’t that what dudes friends are for? Sorry but he’s dumb. Why would you want to get engaged to someone who makes a tinder account and actually talks to chick’s on it regardless of what they actually talk about? The point of a significant other is to be your one and only, and to talk to said person about your interests whether you have the same interests or not. Ppl are allowed to disagree without one of them needing to run off and chat up other ppl.
Run Away as fast as you can. He’s is playing you big time.
You just leave him and move on. That’s bs.
Message her and then leave him! Let him be her problem! Then hopefully she turns out to be a he
I know it’s easier said than done but you need to leave him. Tinder is not a friendship app lol. We all know what people use Tinder for. And who knows if he keeps communicating with this person they are likely to meet up in person & then the physical cheating begins. I would just cut him off now. You deserve so much better. Know your worth and stand up for it/yourself!
You are operating on a sunk cost fallacy. You’ve spent 4 years with this man, and are now “engaged” but to him it’s just a word to keep you on the line while he seeks out a better option. That other girl doesn’t know about you, you have no business treating her like the problem. You have a disrespectful, untrustworthy man problem. Don’t waste any more of your precious life on him. If you confront him about it, he will pay you lip service and gas light you into feeling crazy for 1. Snooping, & 2. Not believing in him. He will act self-righteous, he will make you question your own instincts and your own eyes that have seen his BS. If you are weak, you will believe his lies &question your own judgement. You already are doing it by asking on this thread, so I have doubts about your ability to be strong and walk away. That’s exactly what you should be doing.
Wow he’s treating you like you are an idiot. He basically is telling you he wants to cheat but still wants you around. Girl dump him you could do so much better. Seriously look in mirror and know your worth. You can’t let him treat you like crap. He won’t change find better as you deserve better.
How long does it take to block someone? Idk, but why are you wasting time on a up and down with rocks and commitment issues…are you addicted to disappointment?
He’s definitely not being honest with you, he should be talking to you if he isn’t happy not some stranger he met online especially tinder which is more of a dating/hook up site, something ain’t right
Do not marry this person. I’m telling you from experience that it will not be a happy life if this sort of stuff is happening already. I promise there is someone for YOU and not someone for you + whoever he decides to talk to next. Don’t do it.
If you felt that someone was the one you wanted to marry you should be able to share everything and anything with that person. Tinder is not a place for “friends”
Confiding in someone else would honestly make me uncomfortable personally , like why can’t he talk to you about these things?
Obviously if you found no conversation of his interests he isn’t going to be just talking to them for the sake of talking. We all know where confiding in someone else will lead.
Honestly girl take your rose coloured glasses off and have a look at what’s really going on here.
Um what?
This is what his friends are for. To talk about interests. Absolutely no reason whatsoever to be on a hookup site talking to some girl.
What? Please leave him and do not get engaged.
I hate to say things to hurt ppl but please leave this guy
Tinder is for casual sex hook ups
Don’t marry him… it will be a very unhappy marriage
You deserve a better person I’m your life
What the hell did I just read??
Hes looking for your replacement.
sure, believe him, OMG girl, read what you wrote & run
Well that was a artful excuse but it’s just an excuse. Why didn’t he talk to another man about his interests?
1st tinder is for dating, 2nd its not that females fault for conversing its your BLOKES, hes the one in the wrong, if this is happening now id suggest do not get engaged etc etc as he cant be trusted.
If he dosnt feel he can tell you anything and you the same don’t bother getting engaged it will not last.
I wouldn’t debate on whether or not to message this girl. It isn’t worth your time and this man is playing you the fool. He is texting and talking to this girl while keeping you on the back burner if something doesn’t go right. You are better than that! I would get out before you have a child by him, because very rarely does a kid make them stop their cheating. If he wanted someone to talk to he should have been talking to you, his fiancé. At this point you need to decide whether or not you are willing to share this guy with the rest of the world because he doesn’t care enough about you to even try to communicate his wants or needs just runs. Please reconsider marrying him.
Umm he’s full of crap and you’re buying it hook line and sinker and you need to ditch him
Well it’s never the woman’s fault especially if they have no idea. It’s your man to blame. Remember that.
Honey, get out now. He’s in your way of something great
Hes on Tinder, its a dating site. Its not a looking for a friend site.
Both of u need someone else.
Him for going on tinder messaging another person and for u going on his phone.