Why would you message her instead of calling him out on his bs?! Since he wants communication give it to him in the form of “how dare you?!”
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Run. If you can’t communicate with him now it will get much worse if you get married. Run now.
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Sounds like you guys shouldn’t even be together, let alone get engaged! Communication is everything. Trust is everything. If you don’t have those, then what do you have ?
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You can to tell her he’s a jerk, and make sure you give him what he deserves…the boot! 
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Not a smart choice to get engaged. As a matter of fact, I’d leave. You will never change him.
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Why is he trying to find a female on tinder to talk to and not finding any male friends to talk to if its just about having someone talk about is interests with?? Definitely an excuse and a really bad one at that in my eyes
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Girl no drop that pick your crown up this is some shady ass shit
U need to be talking to him about being on tinder the girl doesn’t have a relationship with u he does. Stop blaming the other party when ur “bf” is on something he isn’t supposed to be on
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Seriously this has to be a joke post.
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I think I’m more shocked that your question is about sending her a message and not about if you should leave the relationship. Girrrlllll, that woman on Tinder knows NOTHING about you. It is not her responsibility to show you loyalty, it is your boyfriend’s! Yes, he is absolutely throwing red flags, but you have an incredibly childish mindset when it comes to approaching boundaries and self-respect in a relationship… do not get engaged to this man or anyone else for that matter until you truly find your worth. Otherwise, you will live a miserable life and continue allowing people to treat you just like THIS.
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Is this for real? Why does he even have tinder when he has a girlfriend? I hope this post isn’t real lol 
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Omg move on with your life
Um, leave him. Tinder is a dating app. If you’re engaged, and even if you’re not and are just dating, he’s on a dating app talking to others. That’s a nope for me:triangular_flag_on_post:
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He’s making up a stupid excuse hoping you’ll buy it and let it go so he can keep doing what he’s doing. Chances are that girl doesn’t even know about you. Leave. Don’t get engaged, don’t get married. Don’t believe the excuses. Just get the hell out.
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Be angry with the fiancé, and dump him.
That’s not what Tinder is for……
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I can see how you guys have communication issues. You wrote this whole thing when it could have been 2 sentences and you left out the most important part (WHAT THE MESSAGE SAID). So how can we advise you on how to proceed?!!
Second if you have to “sneak and go through his phone” that’s a problem. If you ask him for it and he say no…learn to respect his property.
A relationship without trust is unhealthy. Please don’t message the girl, it’s your fiancé you need to talk to
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You need to message him and say get the fuck out … lmao it takes two girl…
If he is looking at texts … DUMP HIM
He has a tinder account and is texting another woman and yet you’re worried he’ll be mad at you for messaging her?
What a shit show.
He wants to make friends tell him to go to a baseball game or church. Not tinder 
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Don’t wanna be rude but have some common sence he isn’t on tinder for “communication “ an second it’s not the girls fault it’s him that has a commitment to you 
No I wouldnt be engaged to him it’s a load of bull
Who’s gonna tell her 
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Just send her a FYI also he’s trying to have sex with her.
If he’s talking to some other woman instead of you that’s cheating
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Lmfao you aren’t the brightest my poor girl 
run
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Run while you can. He’s cheating IN your face… Boy bye!
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Well I wouldn’t be sticking around so give a warning on that for sure and knowing me I would message the girl as well to make sure she knows what’s going on with you and him.
For me that’s would never be a thing. Obviously he feels like you’re ok with it though or he wouldn’t have told you about it. But why are you getting engaged if you’re unhappy and he’s obviously unhappy too?
Ummm how bout you kick his ass out she probably doesn’t know so don’t go after her go after the stupid man who did it!!!
Made a tinder to talk to someone
Please.
Please.
This is a joke right?
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If you don’t have good communication with him then your with the wrong person. Talking to other people doesn’t fix a relationship. Time for you two to split.
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He is literally dating and you’re allowing it
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I’d message her to let her know that he’s involved in a long term relationship but that you don’t hold it against her bc she didn’t know….you’re just putting it out there.
THEN you dump him bc he literally is cheating on in front of your face lol
If he needed you guys to work on communication he could have said that…not said “we don’t have good communication I’m gonna go talk to other women”. He’s a pos.
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I call BS… everyone knows what tinder is for 
. He can talk to a therapist . Wtf girl No!
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I wouldn’t message her. He likely told her he was single.
One word for you…
TINDER
Think that says enough
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Sweetheart you need to move on. This is not the way to be treated by a man who supposedly loves and wants to marry you. Don’t blame the other woman it’s not her fault it’s your bfs! If he genuinely wanted just a friend to talk to he would never have gone on tinder rather go talk to his friends!
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If he’s on tinder you need to call it off and move on
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I’d message her and tell her to come pick his ass up as she can have him 
why you would settle for that behavior is beyond me
Why are you wasting your life?
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How about you leave him
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Girl please. He’s cheating on you. It’s called an emotional affair. Why are you ok with him being on Tinder? Grow up and end the relationship. Neither one of you are ready. You need to find someone who will be your everything and you theirs. He’s not it.
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Do you not know what tinder is??
You litteraly just gave him permissions to have a side chick.
He’s cheating babe. And while he might not be physical with her I bet he is with someone else. Move on. Find your happiness.
Move on he is cheating on you
Don’t stay it will get worse .
He wants his cake and to eat it to . He can’t have both .
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Lol he legit went out of his way to message her not vice versa yet u wanna message her I don’t understand why . He is clearly the issue if it wasn’t her it be someone else . The fact he made all that effort and a dating profile just to talk to her is a huge red flag get out now before you get engaged/married. Best of luck
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How about you make a profile, and find your own “friend”
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Tell him Facebook has lots of ppl
Leave. If he wants friends he should seek out male friends with similar interest. Not females on a dating app.
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Why would you want someone that you are not enough for? Don’t answer it with I love him we been together 4 years he still wants to be engaged!! That’s all good, but you see good isn’t good enough he still wants others??? You need to find a man that respects you someone that you are enough for, this joker says he’s not trying to replace you, well every minute he’s talking (lol) with her is a minute of his time your not getting, Good Luck!!
I’m sorry honey, he’s manipulating you into thinking what he’s doing is innocent. It’s tinder. He’s dating. And that leads to all the other parts of an affair.
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Umm he’s on tinder, he’s cheating/going to be cheating on you if he didn’t already lol. Unless y’all decided to have an open relationship and you knew he was on tinder why else would he be on there ?
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Msg her and tell her she is more than welcome to him. Ask her how quick you can get his shit out of your place and into hers. Let her know your willing to put his stuff in her truck for him. Wave goodbye and call your girlfriends over for a
Thank fuck i dodged that bullet party…
Ummm they are not your problem, he is. Leave that person alone.
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Ah yes the old I need to talk to someone that can relate!
That’s the beginning of gaslighting.
Set you boundaries, be clear. Does he mind if you did the same?
Or save yourself time and drama, find someone that protects your relationship with them rather than bring in who knows what to your family.
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It’s obvious you don’t trust your partner. Instead of sneaking in his phone just ask him to show you and if he says no that should tell you a lot right there. You can not be with someone let alone marry them and spend the rest of your life with them if you don’t have communication and trust. Just because he has interests you don’t like doesn’t mean you can’t learn about them so he can also talk to you about them as well. Or ask him about those interests, in that sense he would be teaching you. But don’t just make it seem like he’s the only one doing something wrong. He’s still a human, just like you. If you’re feeling he’s disrespecting you tell him how you feel not the internet.
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You don’t go on a dating/ hook up app to “talk” when you’re in a relationship
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You pack your things and move on…emotional cheating is still cheating.
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He put himself on Tinder and is talking to women. Don’t even think of marrying this guy. You don’t know what he is doing.
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If he is on Tinder; he is not ready to be in a serious relationship. Nevermind engaged.
You deserve to be with someone that is going to value your relationship and this man does not.
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If communication is your guys issue that should be worked between the two of you not someone he found on tinder 
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Wake up and smell the coffee. He’s no prize. Let her have him.
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No. You don’t attack some random woman ffs. How tf did you even land on that?
Next time pick someone you trust to date. Leave that poor woman alone.
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Tinder = dating app
Dump him = he’s a loser
He won’t stop = You are allowing it
Message yourself and say what a jerk this guy is and ask why you’d want to stay with that.
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He may not be physically cheating but he is emotionally cheating,which is just as bad or worse. I would give him an ultimatum and if he doesn’t take you seriously then it’s time to move on. I wish you all the best
It’s not her fault, he was on a dating/hookup app and now they’re talking. You need to talk to him, not her. And like everyone here agrees, he’s not there for just conversation. He’s a gaslighting, manipulative cheater, my dear. You deserve better.
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I’m confused here. You wanna message the person he’s talking to and not talk to him. The other is innocent unless he told them he was in a relationship which i don’t think he did. Your issue is with the man not them. Talk to him. Tell him find friends not on dating apps
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Sounds like you’re holding on to a toxic relationship, he clearly isn’t interested in hitting married. I’d break it off you’d be better off
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No, don’t message them. You talk to the boyfriend!!! If communication is the issue, why would he go on a dating app? Why not counselor for both of you, a support group, his friends, etc… dating app is just that, he’s Looking for side piece!
He’s not only one in the wrong here though… if you don’t trust him, don’t date/get engaged/marry him! In my opinion, neither of you are ready for marriage. It would be good for either of you!!
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Excuse me…? No way in hell I’d be okay with that. That’s him chosing to find someone else rather than work on his current relationship. It’s not the person on tinders fault. No need to get mad at them. It’s him that’s the problem you two have to figure out a way you can communicate where he doesn’t feel the need to reach out to another woman or it will never work. If this were my husband his shit would be thrown in the yard if the tinder app was even on his phone.
You need to open your eyes and find your own self worth. You are allowing him to manipulate you. Hes playing you for a fool and you’re wanting to attack the girl he’s talking to. She’s not the problem. He is…and you’re allowing it.
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Tinder=single…easy peasy
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Walk away!!! Don’t ever second guess your like this.
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Your issue is with him. I never understand why women get more upset at the other woman instead of dealing with the main issue, your man
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That wouldn’t be okay with me! Unless it is fine with you, maybe you could find a friend to talk to as well if that’s how he wants it to be? Suggest that to him, if he thinks it’s outrageous if you do it then he needs to stop doing it himself
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Uhhh … He went to tinder …to “talk” to someone. That says enough right there, he’s not serious about it, and he wants to explore other options.
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No you talk to your fiancé who is cheating not the random girls on tinder who don’t know you exist
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You don’t make a TINDER for friends.
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I think he got therapist confused with tinder 
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It’s his fault not hers. She owes you nothing. He does
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Girl. He met someone else on a DATING APP. Not a friends app. And most likely it’s another female. He is manipulating you hardcore. Do you honestly want to marry into that?!
He has revealed himself - girl - don’t listen to words - watch his actions !!!
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You walk away and find a real man, stop playing with a dumb little boy.
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His interests lay in him having sex
He’s emotionally cheating on you and that’s not ok. He didn’t need tinder to find a friend.
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No, you message the fiancé that it’s over WTF 
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Tinder Accounts Are For Folks Looking For Dates / Sex. With Others
Here’s what you do: walk away.
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YOURE fiance downloaded TINDER. You’re fiance messaged someone else. So please tell me how messaging the girl, who has zero obligations to you or knows you even exist, is going to make it stop? If she stops replying to him, he will just find someone else to talk to.
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Do not, and I repeat, do not message the other girl. Leave him, because he’s a problem and he’s not worth marrying. He will do this time and time again and then you’ll be stuck in an unhappy marriage. If you don’t communicate well you work on that with each other not for to someone else.
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Hes telling you what you wanna hear so he can do what he wants. You. Can. Do. Better.
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First off… it’s not the girls fault your man is cheating. You say he wants to get engaged? While making a tinder. You have a man problem not a random chick on tinder problem 
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No u break up cause ur dodging a bullet there…
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I’m so sorry to say this but why message the girl? She definitely doesn’t even know about u. U need to confront him he’s in the wrong! Why is he on tinder if u guys are engaged??? That’s just wrong . U need to dump him now before u marry this jerk . He’s obviously looking for other female attention besides urs and this is a major red flag!! Get out now before u get married and have kids with this guy.
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He’s absolutely, without a doubt, cheating on you. And by ‘allowing’ this, he will only begin treating you worse. Ditch the goofy guy and don’t worry about the woman who probably doesn’t even know you exist.
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