Do not get engaged to him.
What a poor excuse to set up a tinder & talk with other women. Because your communication is poor? Yeah that will surely help! Is he punishing you for that? Don’t answer those questions & don’t ask him or her any. Pick up your pride & leave or don’t cry when you are faced with more proof he’s cheating.
Tinder is for hooking up NOT just for friends. He is bs’ing you. Know your self worth and dump him. DO NOT MARRY HIM unless you want to be married to a cheater, because thats what he is…
There is something so fishy there you might as well become a scuba instructor. I know your heart wants to move forward with him, but there is something so very off about wanting someone else from TINDER to talk to. Hang in there baby girl, and I recommend making the hard choice to cut that one loose. It will never change. I learned long ago that if they don’t want to change their bad habits for the ones they claim to love, they’ll never change and neither will your dynamic. Sounds like a lot of future heartbreak.
Cheating isn’t always physical
I’m but did you say your fiancé & man you’ve been with for 4 years is on a dating app? Whole ass red flag right there… respect yourself & leave asap
So do you think it’s a good idea to get engaged right now.
- He is talking to another girl.
- He feels like he can’t talk to you about everything cause y’all share different interest.
- He just tells you he is gonna do this without thinking of your feels.
I could keep on but the signs are right in front of you. Move on with your life and let him go.
I’d message this girl only because she’s an innocent in this situation. She has no idea about you. I know you didn’t ask but you need to find someone that thinks you’re enough. Your boyfriend doesn’t. 
Let him have his Tinder conversations! Move on !
First of all, there is no “about to be engaged”. He is your boyfriend. If he wanted to be engaged, you would be. Secondly, he downloaded TINDER. No one downloads Tinder to “talk to someone”. You are much more intelligent than this. Move on.
Tinder is a dating website. Nothing more nothing less. HUGE red flag here. If you and he can’t communicate like normal people then you have no business in a relationship let alone getting “engaged”. Lol.
Leave him now! He has no intentions of being faithful to you. NO ONE goes on Tinder to have conversations about things their partner isn’t interested in. Come on!! Plus things have always been rocky between you. There are plenty of other people out there.
There’s Facebook for that. Whatever his interests are, there’s a Facebook group for that. Leave him.
Girl, run! No man in a committed relationship has any business being on Tinder.
You need to end this relationship now!!! He is the one on the relationship. He is the one crossing boundaries. Why would you message the girl? If it’s not here it’s gonna be someone else. If he is talking to the opposite sex and communicating with her HE IS CHEATINF
No, it up to him to close that account. If he doesn’t do it, you have no future! That’s a red flag!
RUN. He’s wanting to marry you and have someone on the side too. We all know what Tinder is used for and it’s not for building friendships. If he wanted friendships he could find that with other men that have the same interests as him. All he has to do is go on Facebook and join groups based on his interests. Not sure why you would buy that he just wants someone to talk to on Tinder when it’s a dating app.
And he may not be physically, but he is emotionally cheating on you chick , treat him as a dog would treat a sh!t , kick some dirt on it , hold your head high …and prance off like the queen you are …run …he’s getting his cake and eating it too
Honestly please dont be stupid hes cheating on u girl
Don’t message the Tinder person. Message yourself and see that he’s not in a relationship with you. Find someone that wants to be with you. And DO NOT marry him
Sorry, he isnt the one for you. Someone that is committed would not consider a dating app for someone to talk to. You got something he wants, but not everything he needs, move on…dont get engaged, dont explain why, just cut him loose.
Red flags. Run girl!
Yikes. Thats messsyyyyy. no you don’t message the stranger and ask them why they are messaging him. You don’t know that person. You go to the person that you’re with, the one that owes you respect and loyalty.
No way this is not acceptable if it starts like this where will it end ?
“I know he isnt cheating”
No way. Definitely not your place to message her. I’d definitely exit the relationship and call of the future engagement. Tinder is not for anyone in a relationship unless it’s an open one or you guys are looking for a 3rd.
What is tinder? Lmfao
Most men who are planning a future with a woman are not on tinder or any other dating app in my opinion. Pretty black and white right there
The moment I read those last few words “then have him be angry”, I knew he was an emotionally abusive and narcissistic person, who has somehow convinced you it’s normal for him to be angry at you for things he shouldn’t be doing. And he knows this. Run girl.
Dump his ass. If things are this bad now, if you make it down the isle it will be a living nightmare.
He should not have Tinder while even dating. Let alone engaged. Have a serious convo about his intentions. N ask what you can do together to make him feel like youre interested in the same things ?
If you marry him, you are doomed. The writing is all over the wall. It’s large and red.
A group where we all tell you to leave them
If he’s your fiance and still on tinder, you need to message him…GOODBYE
Nope let her and him go.
He’s not ready take time apart
Run i went through this and he tried giving me that same excuse and said he thought I was talking to other people and tried to make it my fault gave him another chance bc we just had our 2nd child BIGGEST mistake i made don’t do it
Why are you not just leaving? Girl you got to have more self-respect for yourself. You’ve been together for 4years and he doesn’t want to talk to you but wants to talk to a complete stranger? Bullshit
Don’t be dumb, you’re on a social media app right now reading this, talking to strangers. Why does he need Tinder? He could be on Facebook making new friends too. You know why. He’s cheating and you’re going along with it. Don’t let him treat you like an idiot for another moment.
Absolutely not, it’s not her place to respect you, it’s YOUR man’s. You need to reality check yourself real quick and realize he thinks you’re not smart enough to know what’s going on or knows he can get by with it so oh well. Reality check his ass and find someone who values you.
This is what they call gaslighting.
Ditch him and run away with me
And by the way… The girl he’s messaging on tinder, it’s not her fault. If you’re trying to message her to talk about it , it should be him your talking to, not her. If he has a tinder account, he’s cheating or planning on it.
Ummmm I think you are cruising for a lot of trouble if you think it’s ok for your almost fiancé to talk to other women on tinder!
What you need to leave is him.
It’s time to leave, honey. Don’t stay in the relationship. Don’t get engaged. Don’t marry him.
Bahahaha, seriously?? How dumb are you? Not husband material.
It’s just the beginning it will not get better
It’s not the fault of the person that he’s talking to. He’s the problem and he’ll just keep doing it. You don’t have to go on Tinder to find people with similar interest. It’s a hookup site. You’re just going to end up broken hearted in the long run.
He approached her not the other way around?correct? Has he told her hes gonna be engaged? Or told her hes in a 4yr relationship?
If no then Why would you text her and ask why she’s texting him?
Hes lying to both of you
I’d leave, you don’t go to tinder for friendship, you go to tinder to set up sneaky links
Y’all dumb as fuck lol
I swear I count my blessings everyday to have the man I have
If I were you I would run & never look back ! Nothing comes good from what you just explained
He sounds narcissistic as F***
Save yourself, I know it’ll be hard but LEAVE.
You DON’T deserve that, Nobody does.
Tinder is a dating site…you shouldn’t be messaging any “her” and neither should he!!! Wtf
Don’t be naive if he’s on Tinder whilst being engaged, he would cheat. Period. He can make guy friends by going out and doing normal guy activities. Nobody in a relationship should be on tinder looking for “friends” to “talk” to. If he has them on snap just consider it happened already. You’d never find the evidence. This is not acceptable. Good luck
Oh wow. You need to go. If a person goes looking outside their relationship to get some other needs met they feel they’re not getting at home, that’s disrespectful. He could have talked to a guy friend about his interests, parents, other family what have you. That is manipulative, and you need to leave. That’s not okay.
This is by far, one of the saddest posts I’ve read…… please girl, please open your eyes! Wake up, walk away with some dignity, you are being played so hard.
Def don’t message but def reevaluate the engagement.
If y’all are already at the point of him talking to another person you are looking at disaster later.
I would have a big talk with him. Id let him know I am leaving. He can talk to whoever he wants. But I’m going to go and make my life. I refuse to let someone I’m not married to yet talk to other women and than make a way for him to cheat later.
Message and leave so fast. He is not it sis.
Um you don’t accept your partner having tinder or accounts on any other like sites. Respect yourself because he sure as hell doesn’t respect you.
Tell him you’re making a tinder so you can make more guy friends. Make a tinder and leave
……… were u in any smaller classes growing up, designed for certain students? Honestly
You wanna come front the wrong person instead of going after her, go after him!!! He’s the one in the relationship l, he owes you loyalty and respect NOT her
Wow you need to wake up and smell the roses get out !! wow !! This is not the guy for you 100 percent
Sneak into his tinder and ask him why he’s messaging people when he’s about to be engaged. He’s complicit too! Start with him! If he didn’t have tinder she couldn’t message him (back). How is it the girl’s fault here lol come on!
You don’t message her, you leave and don’t look back.
All I have to say is Your relationship sounds messy.
He made a tinder to find a chick friend to talk to?? Sounds to me like your “man” is playing you
He’s the one in the wrong not her lol leave him. He downloaded the app. Stayed messaging people. And now keeps it… so yeah, it is his fault. He is reciprocating to this other female who probably might not evergreen know she’s a second woman so to speak. My ex used to talk to chicks so thy time behind my back. Every time, they were told by him that he was single and this and that…
4 years is better to let go of than 12 because you held on too long waiting for a boy to become a man.
Move on with your life. Yall ain’t right for each other.
Shes had nothing to do with it lol. You’re not with her you’re with him.
Ohhh haha
He is playing you. He has no business on tinder whatsoever. This is her problem it’s his
No message.
No engagement.
So. You go on tinder and find someone you can text and pour your heart out to. Then when he gets mad, you tell him if he is actively doing the same, what’s the problem?
This entire situation has stupid written all over it. The conversations he’s wanting to have is creating emotional intimacy… if that’s with anyone but you he’s one foot out the door. This is so wrong on so many levels. If he’s supposed to be building a life with you as a soon to be fiance, he should be putting that energy into building your relationship. Not on tinder texting some rando about his interests. His excuse is bullshit. He’s looking for a side chick or he’s lining one up and playing the field to see what he can get away with. Do not marry this, don’t even bother getting engaged. Until he can be monogamous and put his effort into only your relationship, do not do this. If he wants to chase and chat up other women, he’s not yours to begin with.
Kick him to the kerb
He is the problem not the other girl. He is the one that is getting engaged to you. I personally wouldn’t even bother with the relationship anymore since he has stated you’re not enough but if you want to continue it … You should tell him you aren’t comfortable with him having tinder it’s a dating site or talking to other girls. Ask him to talk to you about “these interests” and try to be engaged in the convo. … But sorry to say I don’t think he made tinder just for friendship and his interests are probably other girls but keeping you conveniently waiting by
You can not be serious about getting engaged or calling another person over him!
I just want to say I’d never message the person. It literally has nothing to do with them. It’s between you and your almost fiancé?
Tinder is a dating site is it not? That alone answers your question if he is on a dating site obviously he is doing more than talking he wants to marry you but needs someone else to speak to about his interests? That makes sense to you? Girl I would definitely hit the girl up but not on no drama if for nothing more than to inform her of the type of person he is maybe she doesn’t know he has a girlfriend and if she does remember she owes you no loyalty he does than I’d let him know that he’s more than welcome to be on tinder and/or whatever other dating site his little heart desires because you will be as well as you are newly single let him know if it’s good for the goose it’s good for the gander
No
You need to drop him
And never look back
The girl on tinder isn’t the problem,your boyfriend is. He is the one you should be talking to. If you can’t talk to him now before you are even married to him you are going to have a painful marriage. Trust me on that.
He his a damn liar. You don’t go on a dating website to just make friends while you guys are talking marriage. Lol wtf. And tell him to get a damn therapist if he wants someone to vent to
Time to move on!!! Show him the door!!!
No. Don’t talk to her. Talk to your man
You have a boyfriend problem, he’s showing you how much you mean to him, which is apparently not much, if you message this one then there will be others, he’ll just get better at hiding them.
Yo what?! your man wants to message other females on a DATING/HOOKUP app and you wanna be asking the girl what she’s doing talking to him?! Honey what is YOUR MAN doing talking to HER?! He doesn’t love or value you. Him giving the excuse to “talk to other people about his interests” is him trying to manipulate you so that he can’t get “caught” having tinder because he told you about it. He wants other people. You don’t need a dating site to talk to people about common interests. He has no friends? Girl bye he needs to go!
No, you cut him loose! Find someone that’s willing to talk to YOU instead of some other woman. It’s not her fault, it’s his! Move on and quit wasting your time.
While planning your wedding, you might wanna go ahead and find a good divorce lawyer, because if you two get married, that’s where you’re headed… unless of course you’re okay with him having affairs.
I’d love to know how old you are, young (and naive) I’m hoping. This man isn’t on Tinder for conversation. He’s on Tinder looking for someone to stick his donger in!
There are a million FB pages alone where people gather to talk about their interests. Go ahead and message this girl he’s talking to. Make yourself look stupid. SHE didn’t go looking for him. HE went looking for her.
No woman should ever have to message someone to leave her man alone. He should have enough respect to set boundaries for other women and stay away from dating apps.
I am not even sure if this can even be serious. If it is…… you are getting played. Cut off all communications with said stb fiancé. He wants his cake and eat it too and you are allowing it. He is disrespecting you
Leave. Do not get married. He doesn’t respect you or your relationship. Tinder is for hook ups. He can get a therapist if he wants someone to talk to. Run.
Nope!!! Would walk away. So wrong.
We are about to be engaged? This is a big sign, don’t miss it. Run.
If ur man don’t care he’s engaged why would anyone else ??!! Lol nope don’t bother.
Tinder isn’t for chatting about interests. Girl wake up. The girl isn’t the problem. Them man is the problem. He isn’t the one for you!
Seriously? He’s using Tinder to " Talk " hun, that’s not what Tinder is for.
There are many places to discuss his interests. Why would that have to be with random tinder women? We all know tinder is not the place to talk about golf or stamp collecting. His “interest” is having sex with someone else…
As for the girl or girls he’s messaging - they made no promises to you. They owe you nothing. This is between you and him.
The universe gave you a gift. You were shown who he is before you made the choice to marry him. Don’t waste this gift. Walk away. Don’t look back.