Do not get engaged… he’s not the one you want… trust me… he’s talking to other women, you’re just a live in sex toy that cleans and cooks., get rid of him asap
No. Just no. Don’t be that girl. Tinder girl owes you nothing. Your man literally told you he wants to have conversations with other women lol HE IS THE PROBLEM.
Also, marriage would be a terrible idea.
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Move on. He is not ready for marriage. Please don’t waste another minute with this dude. He is full of shit and stringing you along.
First it’s not the girls fault. It’s your fiancés fault 100%. You confront him only and if he doesn’t want to stop it’s time for
You to walk. Do not sacrifice one more minute of your life on him. There’s plenty of good men that won’t ever treat you that way.
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Whoever he is talking to isn’t the problem. HE is the problem.
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Why would you message her? Lol She’s not the problem, he is. He’d just find someone new to talk to. Why would you want to marry someone who’s using a hookup app? Don’t be naive, he’s not on a hookup app just to chat with people. 
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This must be a joke.
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Yikes! Are you for real?
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No! Message him with a pic of his belongings outside the front door!
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Um… get a therapist or a friend! I’m not even sure what to make of this like why does he need to take to someone else about his interests like it don’t make sense
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That is a lot of words for “l dont love myself”
You deserve and should want better than this
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He literally told you he wasn’t happy and was messaging someone.
And you still want to know if you should write her and let him be mad?
No hun. You break up and move on. He’s been vocal to you about this.
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What the hell, nooo!
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Red flag get rid he wants her ok or he wouldnt have contacted her n makin up cock n bull stories 2 u 2 is company 3 is a crowd kick him 2 the kerb fast 
Don’t bother messaging her, oftentimes it’ll just make you look crazy. And some females get a kick out of it anyway. I know, I’ve been there. The issue is between you and him. It doesn’t seem as though he’s ready to settle down, or maybe he’s exploring for other options. Either way, you’re being disrespected and the issue deserves a real conversation.
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Get out now. Tinder to talk to someone? Sure! I’ll bet he also watches porn for the story line 
. If you marry this man, whatever bad things happen during the marriage is on you. These aren’t just red flags, they’re neon signs to get the hell out of this mess of a relationship. You don’t message the woman. It’s not her fault. It’s his.
You better get on the roll, he is looking somewhere else.
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?? If he wants to talk to someone tell him to get a therapist… tinder isn’t where you go to “find someone to talk to” stop wasting your time with him.
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Leave him. Find someone better suited. That’s what he’s doing and right in your face too.
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Why are you together?
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He has a tinder account, enough said, cut it off. 
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Ummm…bye bye mf? Thats what id say…
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If he wanted only you he wouldn’t be on tinder…smfh
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Omg she’s not the problem he is. The fact that you’re still with him is shocking to me. He’s still cheating in my eyes.
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Really? You want to be engaged and marry someone that makes a TINDER ACCOUNT that’s a dating app…for someone to talk to. If he can’t talk to you…the person who he supposibly wants to be his wife why the hell do you want to marry him. You don’t message this female…she didn’t do it. She has no loyalty to you…he is supposed to have the loyalty to you and clearly he doesnt…tell him since he needs a tinder to have other females to talk to he can use tinder to find his next female to be with. What in the hell!
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He can go talk to a therapist not another women on tinder . You are wasting your time
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That’s ridiculous… If he wants communication… He should be speaking with you, not her. That’s such a sorry excuse for bad behavior.
He can go find male friends lmao.
Messaging her might ruin things for you, however… Sometimes you have to voice yourself. I am assuming he hasn’t told her he’s getting engaged or been in a relationship for 4 years? Men never mention these things when their intentions aren’t pure.
There’s probably much more to it than he’s letting on.
What we’re the messages about, are they friendly? I get needing and wanting friends… However… This just sounds sketchy.
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Hopefully she becomes his girlfriend before the marriage. It’s expensive to pay for a marriage and divorce back to back. Cause she’s gonna be his girlfriend. they’re “talkin” right now 
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Dump that man and wait for a real one. He’s trash
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Don’t even bother . Obvsly he’s not serious about only being with you and working on things with you. Him needing to go somewhere else and hide he fact that he’s emotionally cheating ,he’s a child. He’s looking to get that emotional connection with someone else . Fuck that
Don’t marry this guy. He should put that effort into fixing you guys communication.
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You’re angry at the person on Tinder more than him 
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Y’all are not about to be engaged. You are about to be history. You sneaking into his phone is a huge violation of trust. Him messaging a girl behind your back is also a huge violation of trust. Do not marry this man, It is currently as good as it is going to get and it’s not good.
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RUN!!! Run far, run fast, but run, RUN away!!!
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Red flags girl run fast as you can
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I would wish my man would go and have meaningless sex with another woman as opposed to having meaningful conversations and deep connections you’re not overreacting actually I believe you are under reacting
Why do you dumbass women think marrying these dudes is still an option? If you have to make these posts, you should know your answer. Geeze.
Tinder isn’t for talking.
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The problem is him, not random Tinder chick
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For one he’s not committed to you so you should not get engaged to him. If he cared about communication with you he would come to you and tell you there’s an issue and that you guys needed to work on it so he could communicate about that stuff with you and not another woman on a DATING app!!!
Does he not have family or friends that he already knows? I mean really he looks for someone to talk to on a dating site girl get the frick away from him You’ll just be disappointed in the end guaranteed screw messaging the girl she probably doesn’t even know you exist focus on talking to that man You were considering marrying hes lost his damn mind I’m sorry
No. She is not the one who is making a commitment to you. He is. Or, clearly he isn’t. You just can’t see it yet. That boy is trying to have your cake and eat hers too.
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Boundaries Sister!!! Set them NOW or you’ll forever be sorry…and sad. Tbh…why would you even wanna engaged a man who wants to be entertained by other women…not men…women?? Sounds like a setup for failure. Be smart.
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You sound young and this all sounds terribly childish in my opinion. My advice would be to end the relationship. Tinder isn’t the place to find people to chat to with similar interests, specific groups of his interests would be so I feel you are being super naive here. If the relationship isn’t great work on it before getting engaged also who plans hey we will be getting engaged soon let’s say next week 
And don’t message her…your issue is him. Not her. You’ll only look dumb.
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He may not be physically cheating but there is emotional cheating which can be worse. You two need to have a proper sit down and talk. My fiancé and I don’t have all the same interests but I listen and learn some bits and so does he. No one is exactly the same as their partner and nor should they be in my opinion as difference help you grow. If you can’t sit down and talk and work on your relationship then realistically the relationship is done. This girl has done nothing wrong for all she knows your might not exist.
If he wants to talk to people that share his interests then he should join hobby groups on FB or find a club not use it as an excuse to join a dating site and talk to another girl.
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Why would you get engaged and married to a dude you KNOW is cheating on you right now lmfao grow up
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First off, why is he on tinder?
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Please run, you both will end up better off.
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Girl huh??? You’re insane.
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Uhhh cancel the engagement.
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Uh it’s not the woman’s fault your mans a lying cheater.
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Not her problem that he’s texting people while he’s engaged to you. Sounds like you’re blaming her for him being a cheater. If it’s not her, it’ll be someone else. You could let her know he’s taken, because I’m sure she’d appreciate knowing he’s scum, but sounds like you’re going to stay regardless. 
No you don’t message her Looking like a fool. You pack your shit and leave his ass
Lmao if you gotta message another woman about your man than leave your stupid ass man.
Also there are clubs and groups for shared interests. Who the hell looks on tinder for people with shared interests unless they want to date them. This is absurd 
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Facebook groups are for specific interests. He’s gaslighting you while he’s shopping around… move on.
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Girl no. Leave him. This is cheating
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Confront your man not her!
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Know your worth and walk away. This fool is just stinging you on.
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Save your energy and don’t contact anyone. Your issue is your "fiancé ". If he’s ok with going outside of your relationship for any reason to get his needs met that is not ok. He can have friendships but most people don’t go to a dating site to start friendships. He sounds like a manipulative person and things have to be his way. What do you want? Try counseling before you g married.
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Do not message the girl. She probably doesn’t even know about you at all. It’s not her fault. Your issue is with him. If he’s messaging someone on tinder then kick his ass to the curb. Eventually it’s going to get physical between them.
Girl read what you just wrote…
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You already know the answer to your question. He’s done nothing but cause you heartache ever since you got “together”, you already KNOW that he will never change. You are signing up for a lifetime of misery with this one…
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drop him and don’t look back! you deserve someone that only needs you!
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Do not waist a moment of your time messaging her and not one more minute with him. A man who chooses to reach outside his relationship to have his needs met is not a man who is ready to propose. Marriage is sacred and requires one to put their spouse FIRST. I hope you find the strength to walk away now before he continues down the path he is on with that other woman and others to have his needs met.
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You’ve got to be stupid
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Pretty sure you have your own answer. Signs are there girl. Confront him, and move on.
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emotional affairs are still affairs 
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Really???
You already know the answer…my question is WHY ARE YOU WASTING YOUR TIME ON THIS JERK??
4 years??
TINDER???
Hope it works out for ya, but keep her #, you can contact her when he starts staying out all night cause he need to discuss his interests…
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His infidelity is his fault not hers…a relationship should not be this hard
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How is this even a thought let alone a whole entire post? If I ever caught my husband or soon to be fiance(lol) talking to someone on TINDER a dating site, it would all be over!
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Why does he have to join a dating site for someone to talk to? Can’t he join an interest group in your area for that?
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Why? She doesn’t owe you any loyalty. Focus the energy on yourself and your kids now. Leave him.
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I’d message her she can have him
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Yeah, huge red flag. Tinder is NOT the place to go to find friends to talk about your interests. Unless your interest is having hook ups with people you don’t know and cheating on your SO.
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I will never understand why women get mad with the woman but not their husband 
it’s ridiculous
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He Sought out a female to talk to off a dating app. That’s a hard pass for me. 
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he is just cheating with your permission.
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Tinder is for penpals sorry not sorry he’s without a doubt cheating
A marriage is based on trust, friendship, communication and common interests. Your relationship is missing some key elements for a successful and beautiful life together. Please move on and find these things.
How is this her fault ?she doesn’t own you anything he does !his the one who wants something more according to him in a relationship.don’t marry someone who obviously doesn’t feel complete with you
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It’s not the woman’s fault girl
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If you can’t communicate, it will not work. They communicate. Wish them well and step out of the picture
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Ughh why do so many women get mad at the “other” woman 
b mad at the man. He invited the said woman in so no don’t message the other woman
Is this real??? Nobody is this dumb right….
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He’s having an emotional affair, from what I hear from others,that’s worse,you think he’s gonna stop?
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Ummmm…leave. don’t marry this guy. He’s openly cheating on you and gaslighting you to make you be ok with it.
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If the man has tinder, he’s been looking for other women. Why msg her, she’s not the problem. He is.
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l get paid over $197 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $18234 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.
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You’re only talking about being engaged, not even engaged yet. If he needs to go outside of relationship to talk to women, then I wouldn’t even be discussing a possible engagement.
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l get paid over $197 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $18234 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.
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Sounds like he’s super toxic and probably gaslights you. 
Don’t marry him omg.
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Definitely don’t get engaged
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Tinder is a dating site hun,not a friends sight. And yes,yes he is cheating on you as someone else said with your permission. Move on plz he is toxic and making excuses for his actions. Why would he so called commicate w another woman n not with you…? You better wake up darling now!
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Message her then leave him.
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Why would he use a dating site to talk to people? that makes no sense at all
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am just curious, if you drink peroxide¿
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Ummm no. You can talk to me or your buddies, but other b!tches. Sorry
I feel like emotional bonds are worse than cheating because you’re connecting with them without even being intimate.
Nope nope nope
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If you found the need to invade his privacy by getting in his phone, you need to worry about fixing yourself first!!! If you don’t have trust, this relationship won’t last. You both can have different interest and different friends and have a great relationship/marriage.
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