He’s the problem, not her!!! Tinder is for dating, like a lot of others have said above. Why in the world would you want to get engaged to a man who is talking to other woman😂. You must be young. Lol. Bless your heart. Time to face reality and realize he’s using and doesn’t really love you, especially if he is talking to other woman.
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The person on tinder isn’t your problem. She could be anyone… he can replace her easily, he may be talking to multiples, etc.
your concern should be your boyfriend who is expressing mixed signals, a person who is ready to be engaged to be married isn’t openly seeking what is lacking in their partner and actively exploring that.
Take a step back and tell him you should take more time to decide if you want to marry him because you do not feel he is ready to commit to you.
You shouldn’t be with him if he is expecting that you will accept this behavior.
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You’re seriously blaming the person on tinder instead of your fiancé? 
you buy that b.s story from him?? Oh lord…
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Are you Insane? He isn’t into you. Time to move on!
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Why are you not talking to him about this matter???
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It’s tinder a dating site not a find a friend. You accept this know he knows he can get away with so much more once your married. He wants a friend why doesn’t he have buddies? Shoot every guy I’ve been with has had a friend or two before I met him or made a friend at work while we were together. And not communicating, why isn’t he communicating with you. Sounds like if he’s looking for this in someone else trying to gaslight you that you don’t do it seems like he won’t do it himself. And don’t message the other person. It’s not her fault your awful fiance is messaging her. He’s the problem. If he sat down and talked to you what would his excuse be then oh yeah you don’t have his same interests… what a joke.
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No. You need to leave him. No man who is being faithful has a dating app and uses it to “help with communication with his spouse”…it’s a dating app, not a friendship app
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Red flags everywhere run before it’s too late. You don’t trust him and marriage won’t fix that and he has no intention of marrying you if he’s on tinder
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Leave it. Do not get engaged!!
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Quit sneaking into his phone. Quit violating his privacy. No relationship will work when it’s full of mistrust and suspicion…
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He would find himself single so fast 
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Tinder isn’t the place for that. Meetup groups, Facebook groups, etc are.
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Run don’t even think about it
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run and if you have a ring, it’s yours to sell!
Poor girl you’re a whole doormat. That’s cheating hun and it’s not ok. Everything he should need and want should be within you and if it’s not and he has to go elsewhere for it than you should cut him loose. Also you make getting engaged sound like something to check off of a chore chart. No romance behind it. Dump him, seek counseling and realize you’re worth much more than this little boy gives you.
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WhT would he do if the shoe was on the other foot?
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This entire situation isn’t going to end well. 
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For what? Why explain to someone else what your man shouldn’t be doing in the first place? Too many red flags 
here, honey. She’s not the problem, you’re not the problem, your ‘man’ is the problem. Do yourself a favor and find someone who adores you for the wonderful person you are, don’t settle for this garbage of a being blaming his crappy behavior on you.
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You gather your thoughts and emotions and get it all together so you can leave him. You don’t entertain any of that.
Don’t message her. Don’t say nothing to her. Not her issue. You are with him not her.
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Or OR you could leave this dude because he doesn’t want to be committed to you.
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I personally wouldn’t put up with that. You need to move on without him
l get paid over $197 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $18234 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.
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Do the same to him and see how he reacts.
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Your fooling yourself, he is the one that is pursuing her, she is not your problem he is lying to you and Tinder is a hookup site…you need to end your relationship or be ok being lied to and cheated on.
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DUMP him. No need to contact her. He’s the problem. Not her. Not you. Been through the same bullshit. Run before you marry him and have to get a divorce. He is cheating on you. Only going to get worse if you get married. Listen to what everyone is telling you.
No you dump him how can you not see how crazy this is and you will be hurt by this man time after time…. This is not what love looks like
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There’s not sense in messaging her. It’s time time walk away mama. It’s not the other woman’s responsibility it is his to be loyal to you. He doesn’t respect you at all and you don’t want to marry someone like that it’s time to throw in the towel and walk away
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It’s still cheating even if it’s not physical.
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Nobody joins tinder to talk about their interests…
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Leave now! Save you yourself from heatache.headache. it will not change!
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Your on your way out run don’t walk
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You may feel like this isn’t big enough a reason to leave him but chances are this will continue and have a ripple effect and then it will all be a lot more complicated too .
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He’s manipulating you and guilt tripping you trying to make it sound so innocent but it’s just the first step congratulations honey you found yourself a narcissist time to pack it up and walk away engagement or marriage is not worth your sanity cuz it will get worse
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I would absolutely write her and let her know what she’s getting into. Would I be disrespectful? No. There is no reason to be…she probably doesn’t even know you exist.
But, the real problem is your man. He’s out here actively seeking out other women. Is this the kind of behaviour you really want to put up with the rest of your life? Feeling like you’re not good enough, wondering why? The damage that’ll do to your confidence…your self worth…
Nobody is worth all that.
If it was just about being able to talk to people and have things on common…he wouldn’t be in tinder, he’d go hang out with the boys. Like…that’s what friends are for.
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move on girl!!! he’s not committed to you and only you!
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You don’t join dating sites to just talk to someone.
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Why would he even make a tender account if yall in a serious relationship? If he’s already looking for something “more”, then he’s always gonna be looking for me. The trust is broken… drop his ass!!!
Focus on your boy. Why message the woman? She doesn’t know you. She doesn’t owe you. Get rid of the boy and go love yourself. You know damn well no one is joining tinder to have someone to talk to.
If you believe his story, then I have a plot of land to sell you on Mars. In all seriousness, if he really wanted to talk to someone about his interests, it wouldn’t be on Tinder. There are literally tons of group online in other platforms to discuss honest hobbies and interests. Unless his interest is Kamasutra 
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He means he is keeping his options open & still looking in the event he wants to hook up with someone else. If you feel like you need to message her to confirm go right on ahead. It’s a dating app, don’t fall for his excuse.
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Girl don’t marry him… run the other direction as fast as you can
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If it were me I would have already messaged her but after writing all of this why do u want to marry him or even be with him? What taken person makes a tinder
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If your not enough for him and he needs other woman, why would you want to marry him. Leave and find a man who only wants you
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She’s not the problem, he is. Dump his aşş. He’s not worth your time.
Dont marry this man… u are going to have massive problems in your marriage this is just the preview 
… don’t ignore the red flags
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“About to be engaged” is not a thing. He’s manipulating you. Write her and leave him.
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You leave him and not message her!!! 
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So you want to message his side check? That you gave him permission to have???
I’m sorry when you give your husband permission to have a relationship no matter what it is with another woman that you have no clue who she is, and he met on tinder a dating site???
Nah girl get your head straight, decide what you want and do it… you gave him permission to be on a dating site and you don’t expect him to cheat on you? 

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Are you kidding me?? People don’t use TINDER to try to find friends and make platonic friendships. Wake up. It would be like saying you found your boyfriend on Grindr, but when confronted, he said he’s not into dudes or looking for a same sex hookup, but only wants to make some new guy friends to hang out with. NEITHER are the appropriate venue for that, especially for someone claiming they want to get married.
He should be on some damn FB groups or something if he wants to talk to people with common interests, not a meet-to-screw app. Unless THAT is the common interest he’s looking for, of course. Also, ‘about to be engaged’? Either you are engaged or you’re not, there’s no ‘about to be’ 
He’s lying to you.
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He went to TINDER to find someone. That’s not allowed. Your def getting cheated on, emotionally for sure, bc it probably just hasn’t hit the physical way yet.
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Why does he have tinder tho?
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I’ve never Ever heard of a Man or Couple say:
I want to get Engaged , so Let me join Tinder so I can talk to other Women …
What?!?!?
It doesn’t work like that…
He is a piece…
…
Manipulative 
And probably
gaslighting you
Already…
Run:running_woman: RUN 
RUNNNN
Your in for a Life of Misery
And betrayal…
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Theres so many red flags here.He’s keeping his options open.I wouldnt marry him.
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What kind of backwards ass thought process is this?
No you message him to stop it 
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Is he grooming you in order to have multiple partners? I think so.
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You don’t know what to do? Leave him or accept his bad behavior. More like leave him.
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If you want someone to talk to about your interests there are multiple online groups pages and communities. You don’t join a hook up site 
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I’d bounce personally. If he’s already going elsewhere to find certain areas to be fulfilled then it’s only the beginning.
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Wait… you’re seriously questioning this? Girl leave
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That’s called an emotional affair and it’s 1000% cheating. If this is for you guys, cool. If not, he’s gaslighting and manipulating you. Run, run, run.
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Leave him…do not message her!
No. You don’t message them. You break up with him now.
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Please do not marry this man.
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Just download tinder yourself
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Tinder is a hook up site. Honestly you need to pack up and leave. Divorce is much harder. He will always go behind your back and lie. Let her have him.
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It’s an emotional affair and it’s no different from a physical affair. End it before you invest anymore time or emotion.
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Throw out the whole man
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Leave it and leave him. U found just a tip of information. Imagine what u HAVEN’T found out yet. Message her and ask if they’ve been sexually active then immediately go get tested. There’s def more u haven’t found out yet. U are worth more than how you’re being treated.
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Emotional cheating is almost worse than physical
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You leave this “man” is what you do!
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Get rid of his cheating ass before he causes you any more heartache, that’s where this is leading.
He is having an emotional affair with another person, I’m sure you know what the next step will be. There will be a bull crap excuse for that too.
Do not marry him get ride of him
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Oh honey… Run fast!!
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Why message her …shes not the problem he is …tell him too shut it down or leave his ass
Girl, throw the entire man away and start from scratch. everywhere. The question shouldn’t be, “why are you messaging him?” You should ask your boyfriend, “why are you messaging this person?” Your boyfriend is in a relationship with you, not the person he’s talking to. The person he’s talking to might not even know he’s in a relationship.
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Talk about a bouquet of red flags:triangular_flag_on_post:
The way you start a relationship sets the tone for the rest of your relationship.
Getting married is not the answer.
I mean, It kinda appears like your relationship is already on the rocks & could be knocked over with a feather.
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She is messaging him because HE is allowing it. HE is at fault. HE owes you faithfullness emotionally and physically. HE is the one allowing her in. HE is evidently not ready for marriage. Messaging her will do no good, because it’s HIM that owes you something, not her. If it’s not her, it will be the next female he is interested in. Hold HIM accountable…not her
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Go looking for red flags, and now you’ve found the biggest one and you out here questioning what you should do ?
Girl respect yourself already and leave. A real man wouldn’t make you question anything.
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Sis that girl owes you nothing. Don’t message her. Its him you need to get in check.
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Also, go get tested just in case. You never know if his fish has already been in another river.
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People don’t get on tinder to just “talk”
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Don’t worry about the woman. She has no loyalty to you. Worry about the man that SHOULD be loyal to you.
Someone to chat to is a friend, family member or even a fb post. Not a hook up site 
Planning on getting engaged? You are or you’re not!
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Why message the other person?! The problem is with your man, he’s the one in the committed relationship with you. The other person owes you no type of commitment or respect for that manner.
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The problem and fault is all on him. She has nothing to do with it. Talk to him. If he can’t communicate with you as his soon to be wife, show him the door 
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So you’re basically having problems in your relationship and you both thought it was a good idea to get engaged ? Why would you both think that would make everything better ? He clearly isn’t getting what he needs out of the relationship and has turned to tinder, a DATING app ! Not a friends app 
I think your being a it gullible and naive if you really believe what he’s told you especially if you think this is normal and that it won’t progress into something more. I’m sorry but you both are not in the right relationship 
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Run like Forrest !
Find someone who loves you for you, not everyone has the same interests and that’s okay ! He’s lying to you ! Girl get out while you can ! It’s going to hurt, but it will hurt less if you leave now.
Find someone who ADORES EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU !!
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It’s not that girl you need to talk to, and I wouldn’t marry either. He may not be cheating physically but he is emotionally and it will get worse. Cut your losses and move on without him.
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It’s not her fault he’s playing along.
The woman is not the problem in your relationship, your finances trust is. To message her is a waste of time and energy.
Time to leave him and free yourself.
It sounds like you two don’t know each other yet and maybe it is time for you both to go your own way in life
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Girl why u doing this to urself 
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Uhhh #leavehisass2022
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Umm, he is absolutely cheating on you. That seems very naïve to me. Guys don’t go on tinder for someone to talk to. Sorry
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Wtf. Just leave and let him have her
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not on tinder he wont
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Girl stoppppp. It is HIS fault. He shouldn’t need to talk to another l female and we all know wtf tinder is for.
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She’s not the problem he is. If he needs someone to talk to doesn’t he have friends male friends This kind of thing will be a short jump to a physical affair. But it’s your life. Let us know how it goes
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Doesn’t sound good. Back off
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What you need to do is leave because he is obviously lying and enjoy his cake too.
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Um… that’s a DATING site sis. Run.
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